Sep. 28th, 2009

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Title: One Bright Summer
Summary: Sixteen-year-old Jim is training for a steeplechase, and meets seven-year-old Blair hanging around the stables.
Style: Gen
Size: 32,635 words, about 63 pages in MS Word.
Warnings: None
Notes: Started Aug. 26, 2006, finished March 3, 2007. Written to a four-year-old prompt from Elizabeth. I hope she enjoys it.
        My gratitude to Becky, whose transcript page is a wonderful resource for Sentinel writers. Several lines of dialogue are lifted from "Switchman".
Feedback: Not necessary, but every one is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a comment that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





One Bright Summer

by StarWatcher





Early June, 1976

Jim Ellison stared at the passing scenery as the cabbie drove him toward the training stables. It rankled; he was sixteen, dammit, and had passed Driver's Ed with flying colors -- as if his father would permit anything else -- and there was no reason that he shouldn't be able to drive himself in his own car. If he had a car. But, oh no. He remembered the last argument they'd had about it.

"Jimmy," his father had said, "the insurance rates for boys between sixteen and eighteen are ridiculous. The same amount of money would pay for fifty cab-rides a month; I'm getting a bargain at sixteen, and there's no upkeep on another car besides. We'll talk about it again when you're eighteen."

Hell, he'd even offered to work it off around the estate, or get a real job in town to pay a fair share toward the upkeep and insurance of a car, but his father had shot down that idea, too. "Doing what, Jimmy? A clerk at K-Mart? I've worked hard to raise this family to a better social and financial level, and you will uphold that. My son will not work for pennies at a minimum-wage job."

Hunh! If the old goat would just pay Jim what he paid his other workers, he'd be able to afford a decent used car and basic collision insurance. And he might just as well get paid; he was more an employee than a son to William Ellison, with the 'job' of making straight-As to uphold his father's expectations, and being paraded at corporate shindigs as the perfect son.

He stared with disfavor as the cab pulled up in front of the Olympic Flame Training Stables. His current 'job' was to ride -- and win -- in the steeplechase race over Labor Day, eight weeks from now, and Jim hated it. Not the people; most of them really loved the horses they rode or trained. And the horses themselves were great; honest and straightforward, and you always knew where you stood with them. But his father's expectations of push-push-push, win-win-win hovered like a dark cloud over his head, blighting his enjoyment of being with the big animals. Dammit; he'd just got out of school for the summer, and now he had to waste four mornings a week training for a race that would give his father bragging rights at the Country Club.

Jim sighed as he climbed out of the cab; time to see how Sam wanted him to ride Hercules today. He paid the cabbie and added a generous tip -- no sense in taking out his bad mood on someone else, and the man was just doing a job. Besides, his father would regard it as a waste of money, and the small rebellion felt good.

He walked around an idling station wagon and stepped inside the main barn. Pausing, Jim took a moment to adjust to the smells. Although he enjoyed the sweet scents of fresh hay and grain, and the pungent tang of the horses themselves, it was always too strong to start with -- and the odor of manure and various liniments and medications was almost enough to make him gag. He concentrated on breathing shallowly through his mouth until his sense of smell became acclimatized. After a few minutes the smells faded into the background, and he was able to ignore them.

He found Sam at the far end of the middle aisle, talking to a little girl about the lesson she'd just had, and how she could improve her performance the next time. She looked to be about ten, with long blonde braids hanging down under her helmet, but she listened seriously, nodding to show she understood each point. "I'll remember, Sam," she promised. "Thank you so much. See you Saturday." She turned and hurried toward the front of the barn and, Jim assumed, the station wagon outside.

Sam turned toward the respectfully-waiting teenager. "Jimmy!" he greeted. "I hear you want to ride in the Labor Day Steeplechase."

Jim sighed and shrugged. "I suppose my dad told you that, didn't he?" He shook his head, a twisted smile on his face. "I just like the horses, Sam, you know that. But riding for fun is a waste of time, as far as the old man is concerned; I gotta be training to win something if I expect him to keep paying for it. But I'm not gonna try to control things like he does; I'll ride and train the way you tell me to."

Sam Evanston regarded the young man in front of him. Tall and lanky, Jimmy Ellison had an athlete's coordination and rode with firm but gentle hands on the reins. More importantly, he cared about the horses, never pushing them beyond their limits, but also never letting them get away with any shenanigans.

Sam sighed internally. In his time, he'd ridden in three Olympic games, and had two silver medals to show for it. He recognized a talent in Jimmy Ellison that would have let him go that far, as well -- if only the boy's father wasn't so hard-nosed about grooming his son for the corporate world and relegating Jimmy's riding to a part-time hobby. Well, Sam couldn't change any of that. But he could ensure that Jimmy's summer of training was as much fun as work, so that the boy's love of horses wasn't soured by the necessity of meeting his father's expectations.

"I'm glad to hear that, Jimmy; I don't like using spurs on my horses or my riders." He winked, pleased to see Jim's expression relax. "Marcella rode Hercules for a strong round of jumping yesterday; he doesn't need that much impact on his joints again this soon. So today I just want you to reinforce his responsiveness to your guidance. Take him out cross-country and practice rating his speed and length of stride -- slow down, speed up, shorten his stride, then lengthen it -- just as if you were riding a course, but without the jumping. After you have him warmed up, work at trot and canter; you can do two sets of hand-gallop, but no more than ten minutes each time. Total time out, ninety minutes, and I expect you to bring him back already mostly cooled out. You got all that?"

Jim relaxed even more. When one of Sam's junior trainers had worked on 'fine-tuning' a horse's training, it allowed the owner/riders to relax and simply enjoy the relationship with their animal. Spending time in the wide open spaces, just him and the horse, was the best part about riding; maybe training this summer wouldn't be such a pain in the ass, after all. "I got it, Sam," he assured his trainer. He ducked his head a little, embarrassed. "And thanks," he added softly.

Sam chuckled. "I was young once, Jimmy; I haven't forgotten what it was like. Go on; get Hercules cleaned and saddled -- and be sure you go by the notice board and write your time out and where you plan to ride before you take off."

Jim stopped at the tack-room to grab halter and cleaning equipment, then carried them halfway down the aisle to Hercules' stall. But the big horse wasn't there. Jim shut the stall door behind him, then walked out the back door into the attached 'run' that was part of each stall, allowing every horse the space to have a little free movement and minimum exercise. Sure enough, Herc was at the far end of the run, under the shade of the big mulberry tree, standing just across the dividing bars of the fence from his neighbor and best friend, Rosie.

Jim left the tools by the back door and walked toward Hercules with halter in hand, once again admiring the horse as he approached. Champion Hightower Gladiator of Hilliard -- Hercules, to his friends -- was an Irish-bred warmblood, a big bay with a white blaze on his face, a kind look in his eye, a generous heart and a courageous soul. Jim had been prepared to hate the animal when his father had bought it, six months previously; the purchase of such an expensive, proven winner smacked of trying to buy a trophy. But he'd come to realize it wasn't Herc's fault that his father was trying to cash in on the champion's record, and the big, gentle animal had won Jim over with his honest, straightforward attitude and his enthusiasm for jumping.

Jim stroked the horse's neck while Hercules snuffled his shirt in greeting, then slipped the halter over his head and led him toward the back door. There he made short work of brushing the dirt out of his coat and cleaning his hooves. Finished, he led Hercules through the stall and hitched him to one of the rings set in the wall outside the tack-room, while he went to get saddle and bridle.

As he smoothed the saddle-pad on Hercules' back, he heard a young voice from the end of the aisle. "Hi, Sam. Naomi said I could go riding, an' Uncle Trevor said it's okay with him if it's okay with you. An' then Naomi said not to bother you if you're too busy. But you don't look too busy, so would it be okay?"

The clear tones of what seemed to be a very young child struck Jim like the pure resonance of a perfectly-tuned bell. It wasn't unusual for him to hear conversations from such a distance, but very seldom did someone's voice spark a reaction in him that demanded his attention. He turned to see who was speaking.

Standing in front of Sam was a small, curly-headed moppet that appeared to be not a day over five. Yet as the child looked up at Sam, he exuded a self-confidence and sturdy independence that would be appropriate for someone ten years older. Jim wondered if this kid had ever heard the word 'no'; his attitude suggested that it was unlikely.

"I'm sorry, Blair," Sam was saying. "I don't have time to give you a lesson, and since you're under twelve, you need to follow the 'ride-with-a-buddy' rule, and nobody's free to go out with you right now. Maybe tomorrow, okay?"

The child's shoulders slumped slightly and, even from that distance, Jim could see the glow in his eyes dim a little. But, far from throwing a tantrum, he took the disappointment like a little trouper. "That's okay, Sam," he said gamely. "Maybe I could watch somebody else having a lesson? Naomi says watching other people is a valid learning method, an' knowledge is never wasted. An' someday I want to visit some honest-for-real Indians, so it would be good to know, wouldn't it?"

Sam laughed and agreed, clapping his hand onto the boy's shoulder, even as Jim's feet carried him toward the pair, entirely without his volition. "He could go with me, Sam," Jim heard his own voice saying. He stopped in front of them and looked down to see the moppet gazing up at him with wide blue eyes and open mouth; he looked slightly awestruck. Jim squatted so that he was at eye-level with the child. "What d'ya say, Kid? Would you like to go with me? If you ride Rosie, she'll follow wherever Hercules goes, and all you have to do is hang on. That is, if it's okay with Sam to ease up on Herc's training for today." Jim glanced toward the trainer, silently asking permission.

"I'm not a kid; my name is Blair an' I'm seven years old!" The answer was accompanied by flashing eyes and a set chin. "An' Sam's been teaching me; I can ride a whole lot better than just hanging on, can't I, Sam?"

"Yes, Blair, you sure can," Sam agreed gravely, striving to hide the quirk at the corner of his lips. "Jimmy Ellison, meet Blair Sandburg. Blair is staying at the big house for a while; his mother is..." He hesitated, not wanting to be too blunt in front of the child. "She's keeping company with Mr. Madison for awhile."

Blair was nodding vigorously, either unknowing or uncaring about the innuendo. "Yeah, Uncle Trevor is my new uncle," he confirmed. "Naomi likes him a lot, an' I do, too. This is the best place we've stayed in a long time, because I really like horses, an' Sam's teaching me all about them; I can groom an' feed an' ride an' everything!"

Sam allowed the chuckle to escape, and tousled Blair's curls. "That's right; Blair is turning into quite a competent horseman," he agreed. "And it's a great idea, Jimmy; Blair will have no trouble handling Rosie, especially if she's with Hercules -- if you're sure you want to."

Did he? Not ten minutes ago, he'd been celebrating the chance to be alone with his horse in the wide open spaces. Did he really want this little munchkin around, making him have to moderate his riding? Did he want to be responsible for the safety of such a pipsqueak? But, gazing into the deep blue eyes that looked so hopefully into his, Jim felt he couldn't back out now. Besides, there was something about this kid; with just a few minutes' acquaintance, Jim felt more comfortable with him than anyone he'd ever known.

"Yeah, Sam, I'm sure," he said. He winked at Blair in response to the joy spreading over the eager young face. "I think we'll have a great time together, won't we, Chief?" The little boy nodded vigorously.

"Then it's a done deal," Sam agreed. "And Jimmy, Blair really is a good rider. You can still work on responsiveness at trot and canter; just avoid moving into a hand-gallop. Blair can follow your example and work on the same exercises." He smiled down into the boy's upturned face. "So, what are you waiting for? Go get Rosie and tack her up."

"Thanks, Sam," Blair said fervently, and hurried down the aisle as fast as the 'no running' rule would allow.

"I'll help you, Chief," Jim called and started to follow, but Sam caught his arm.

"Take it easy, Jimmy," he ordered. "You can watch over him, but let him do as much as he can himself. He really is quite competent, and we want to foster that independence; if you ever meet his mother, you'll see why. So just keep an eye on him, and help him tighten the cinch, because he's simply not strong enough yet to pull it home. For the rest, I think he'll surprise you."

Jim nodded and hurried after Blair, but soon saw that Sam was right. The little boy put a tall stepstool under a tie-ring close to Hercules, then laid the cleaning equipment on top. He carried a halter and rope to Rosie's stall and slipped inside.

"Hey, Rosie!" Blair called gently. "Com'ere girl; we're going for a ride." He made gentle kissing noises as he looked out the back door of the stall. Jim watched in astonishment as Rosie pricked her ears, then ambled toward Blair from the far end of the run. When she reached him, she lowered her head, allowing the little boy to buckle the halter without needing to strain upward.

Blair confidently led Rosie toward the tack room, where he 'parked' her next to Hercules, then hopped up on the stepstool to hitch her to the tie-ring. Although the dapple-gray mare looked almost petite next to the large bay gelding, she was still a big horse; standing next to her, the top of Blair's head barely reached the mid-point of her body. Unfazed, he repositioned the stepstool at her side, which gave him the needed height -- provided he stretched -- to brush her clean.

To Jim's amusement, the kid kept talking to the horse as if she could understand him. In a crooning voice, Blair told Rosie that it was a nice day for a ride, that she'd have fun going out with her friend Hercules, that Jimmy Ellison was really tall but he seemed awfully nice, and that Blair would give Rosie two horse treats when they came back. Oddly enough, Jim didn't find the prattle irritating; on the contrary, he felt like he was floating on the musical nuances of that young voice.

When Blair started to speculate about where they'd be going, Jim shook himself from his near-trance; they wouldn't be going anywhere if he didn't get his act together. Quickly, he repositioned the pad on Hercules' back, then set the saddle in place and cinched it tight. He turned to see Blair carrying a saddle out of the tack room, and stepped forward to lend a hand.

"I can do it," the little boy stoutly assured him. He set the saddle on the ground while he examined the pad carefully. "There was a sticker in it once," Blair explained, "and Rosie didn't like it. So now I be extra careful." Satisfied, he climbed up on the stepstool, to find that the horse had shifted and was now beyond his reach.

"Rosie, I can't reach you over there. Move this way!" he insisted, adding some kissing noises to his command. Jim's jaw dropped when she did just that, standing patiently while Blair placed the pad, and then the saddle, upon her back.

Blair pulled the cinch buckles snug, then hopped off the footstool and carried it into the tack room. When he came out, he had the bridle hanging over his arm while he buckled the chin-strap of a helmet. "Now you can help," he informed Jim. "I can't make the saddle tight enough; will you do it, please?"

Jim tightened the cinch as requested, still pondering what he considered basically unhorselike behavior. "How did you get her to do that?" he finally asked.

"I been riding Rosie a lot, an' she likes me an' I like her, so me an' her have a n'understanding. See?" Blair stepped toward the horse's face, holding the bridle upward and opened. Rosie gracefully lowered her head and opened her mouth, allowing the boy to place the bit between her teeth, then kept her head down while he slipped the leather behind her ears and buckled the chin-strap. Finally, Blair unhooked the tie-rope from the halter, and turned to Jim with a frown.

"Aren't you ready yet? Hercules is wondering why you're just standing there."

Blair was right; the big horse did seem to have an impatient glint in his eye. Wordlessly, Jim put on his own helmet, bridled Hercules and unsnapped the tie-rope, then turned toward the main doors. "You got it, Chief; let's get this show on the road." Side by side, boys and horses headed out of the barn, Jim shortening his stride to allow Blair to keep up.

Outside, Jim turned toward his young companion. "Need some help getting up there, Chief?" he asked. Anticipating an affirmative, he was already reaching to grab the little boy, but Blair firmly shook his head.

"No, thank you," he said. "Sam says I have to be able to do it myself, 'cause there won't always be someone around to give me a boost. 'Sides, Rosie knows to help me." He led the horse to a white-painted fence and positioned her lengthwise beside it, then climbed the boards like a ladder. Giving a small push off a center post, Blair was over the gap and sitting neatly in the saddle. He slipped his feet into the stirrups, competently gathered the reins, then turned to Jim with a triumphant smile on his face. "See?"

Jim chuckled as he swung into the saddle. "I'm impressed, Chief; you really can do it all. So, have you ever ridden the steeplechase course in Murphy's Meadow?"

"Noooo," Blair breathed with wide eyes. "You mean, we get to go there? But Sam doesn't let me jump, yet."

"Not to jump," Jim assured him. "But plenty of wide open spaces for riding, and you can at least see the obstacles." He reined Hercules to the left and urged him into a gentle trot.

"Cool!" Blair exclaimed, encouraging Rosie to move up beside her stable-mate.

From the barn doors, Sam watched the incongruous pair head toward the lane. He wondered what had come over Jimmy; the teen had shown no interest in any of the other youngsters that visited the training stables. Still, Jimmy's sense of responsibility would ensure that Blair would be watched carefully. And maybe the bright, buoyant little boy would help Jimmy relax and forget his cares for a while. Nodding to himself, Sam headed toward his office to deal with some of his ever-present paperwork.




As they jogged toward Murphy's Meadow, Blair kept up an almost continuous commentary. He compared the jumping saddle Jim was using to the endurance saddle he had selected for Rosie, explained the difference in habitat and behavior between red squirrels and gray squirrels, and discussed the various types of trees they rode past, speculating on what kinds of animals or birds they might shelter.

Jim wondered how the kid could have learned so much in the few short years he'd been alive. He grinned as he listened -- the kid was an amusing encyclopedia, at least -- and aided and abetted him by keeping an eye out for birds and small animals to point out to his young friend, just to hear what Blair would tell him.

But Blair's prattle was by no means one-sided. Jim found himself explaining the chemistry experiments he'd done in the school lab, watching Blair's eyes go wide as he described the effects of hydrochloric acid on various substances. From there, they moved into an analysis of the pros and cons of various sports. Blair expressed a preference for basketball -- "But I'll have to do a lot of growing before I can play," -- while Jim held out for the excitement of football. They debated whether horse-riding should be considered an individual sport -- since each person rode alone -- or a team sport, since horse and rider worked together to complete a task.

"I really like riding horses," Blair informed him earnestly. "I wanna get real good; I hope Naomi stays with Uncle Trevor long enough so I can learn everything. Sam says he'll start teaching me to jump pretty soon, an' I really wanna do that. Is it as exciting as it looks?"

"It's pretty neat," Jim admitted. "Feels almost like flying, and the horses seem to like it too. I saw an English steeplechase on TV a while back; one of the riders fell off, but his horse just kept going, and completed the course with all the others. It's just that..." He stopped, uncomfortable with trying to explain his aversion to submitting to his father's decrees.

"What?"

Jim ignored the question. "The horses are warmed up; time to get to work. Let's canter up to that big oak tree, then ease them back to a trot." At a squeeze of his calves, Hercules flowed into the smooth, ground-eating gait.

Blair had followed Jim's directions and Rosie kept pace with her stable-mate while Blair whooped aloud, eyes alight with glee.

They swept up to the oak tree, then trotted toward the official starting line in front of the jumps in Murphy's Meadow. Jim reined Hercules to a halt, and Blair matched him flawlessly.

"Okay, here's the deal," Jim explained. "We'll follow the course, but aim the horses way to the side of the jumps; we don't want them to get confused and think they should go over. Depending on the distance to the next jump, we'll need to go faster or slower, and ask the horses to take shorter strides or stretch their legs out more. As we pass each jump, I'll shout out what you have to do for the next one. Think you can do that?"

Blair nodded vigorously, shortening his reins to ensure the necessary 'contact' with Rosie.

"Okay. Now, imagine there's a man in the judges' box with a starting pistol. You ready? One. Two. Three -- bang!"

As they swept around the course, Jim calling directions which Blair followed to the letter, Jim realized he was having fun. The combination of riding in harmony with the big horse, the unfettered space of the open countryside, and -- oddly enough -- the company of the little boy beside him, created a peacefulness for him, despite the speed at which they were riding. He decided at that moment to simply enjoy the opportunity this summer to spend a lot of time with the horses and people at the riding center. He'd practice for the steeplechase because it was fun. Winning would be nice but, if he didn't win, his father could just go hang. He had long ago planned to leave home as soon as he turned eighteen; the more time he spent out here until school started again, the less he'd have to spend at home.

They made the circuit of the course and crossed the finish line still riding side by side, the horses matching each other stride for stride. As they eased the horses to a walk, Blair chortled with delight, leaning forward to stroke Rosie's neck. "That was fun! Can we do it again, sometime?"

"You bet we can, little buddy," Jim assured him, also giving Hercules a congratulatory pat. "I'll be out here four mornings a week, all summer long. Some days I'll have to train over the jumps, but other days we can go out together."

"An' I'll watch," Blair assured him. "Then when Sam lets me start jumping, I'll already know what to do."

Jim reached out to tug a curl that hung down under the back of the riding helmet. "Now don't you make Sam think I'm a bad influence on you," he warned. "You still have to listen to what he says, or whoever your instructor is."

"Hey, don't pull my hair!" Blair protested. "An' I know that. Naomi says that we can learn by listening to those with experience, if we recognize whether the experience is valid for our lifestyle." He nodded firmly, as if the subject were settled, and Jim wondered again how such a young child had gained so much knowledge. He ostentatiously checked his watch.

"Well, my experience tells me that we have about twenty minutes before we need to head back to the stable, and the horses need to be cooled out. Let's ride through the woods; maybe we'll see something interesting." Jim turned Hercules toward the trees that bordered Murphy's Meadow and, once again, Blair fell in beside him.

It was cooler in the shade of the trees, a welcome relief for all concerned, but they kept the horses moving at a brisk walk; cooling out had to be a gradual process, to avoid the possibility of muscle spasms. However, they weren't moving so fast that Jim couldn't keep an eye and ear out for things that would entertain Blair. He'd realized many years ago that he could see and hear better than his friends. He never talked about his senses, and they didn't always work reliably, but today they seemed 'on' -- sharper than they'd ever been, and easier to control. He was able to see, and point out to Blair, the tracks of a badger, some deer-scat, and two baby owls peering from their nest-hole high up in a tree.

A shifting current of air carried the scent of fresh blood. Jim searched for the source. To the right? He thought so. "Slow down, Blair," he whispered, "and come this way." He was mildly concerned; someone could be hurt, although it was more likely a wild animal of some kind. Whichever; they should investigate, but needed to be cautious.

A few minutes later, they came to the edge of a small clearing and halted the horses. In the middle of the open space, a wolf stared at them balefully, a rabbit dangling limply from her jaws.

Blair squeaked in excitement. "Wow! What's it doing?"

"Taking lunch home to her family," Jim said practically. "See how big her teats are? They're full of milk; she's a nursing mother with cubs. Either they're old enough to start eating meat, or she wants to eat the rabbit there, so she doesn't leave them alone too long."

"Wolf puppies! D'ya s'pose we could follow her, an' maybe see them?"

"Wolves are pretty smart animals, Chief. I don't think she'd go to her cubs if she knew we were following her -- and there's no way we could hide from her."

Blair nodded sagely. "You're right; wolves are very protective of their babies. But they must live around here somewhere, an' that's neat to know, isn't it?"

"Very neat," Jim agreed. They watched for a few more moments while the wolf stared at them, golden eyes gleaming, as she apparently evaluated their level of threat. Coming to some conclusion, she turned and slipped into the underbrush on the other side of the clearing.

"Wow!" Blair breathed, awestruck.

"You said that already," Jim pointed out, although he felt the same way. "But now we have to head back to the stable. Giddy-up partner; Sam's expecting us."

Blair turned Rosie to follow Hercules. "Okay," he agreed. "But next time I'm going to bring some doggie treats an' drop them here. D'ya think she'd like that?"

Jim shrugged. "I dunno, Chief; maybe. I suppose it can't hurt anything, but you know she might not even find them."

"But she might," Blair insisted. "An' Naomi says every mother deserves good things. That's the only thing I can think of that a wolf might like."

"Well, she'd probably like a whole chicken. But I don't think either Sam or your Uncle Trevor would approve of you giving people-food to a wolf."

"Sadie too -- she's Uncle Trevor's cook -- she'd be real upset."

"And you always want to keep the cook happy," Jim said. "Our cook is Sally, and she's great. Y'know what? I'll see if she'll make some cinnamon rolls this week, and bring you a couple; they've gotta be the best in the whole world."

"Oh, yummy! I like cinnamon rolls. An' then maybe you can stay for lunch someday when Sadie's making chicken cacciatore -- it's the best!"

The ensuing discussion of favorite foods and cooks' personalities carried them all the way back to the stable. They unsaddled and brushed down the horses, then tuned them into their stalls. Shortly after, the cab arrived to take Jim home. He watched Blair waving goodbye until they turned the corner and the engaging, talkative little boy was no longer in sight. Jim looked forward to seeing him again tomorrow.




The following day, Jim and Hercules practiced jumping in the arena, under Sam's discerning eye. Blair watched from the rail, bouncing and clapping in excitement each time they successfully cleared a fence.

Blair crowed in delight as Jim completed his second circuit and eased Hercules down to a walk. "You did it, Jimmy, you did it!" he exclaimed as Jim approached the rail where Sam and Blair were standing.

"Hercules did it, Chief; I was just along for the ride," Jim assured him, leaning forward to give the horse a congratulatory pat. "I'm not even sure Hercules notices those little training jumps; he thinks he's out for a Sunday stroll."

"Don't sell yourself short, Jimmy," Sam advised him. "A poor rider won't get a decent performance out of even the best horse. You followed my instructions, rated him properly, and kept your approaches to the jumps clean. 'Those little training jumps' will make sure he responds to your cues and keeps his pacing accurate, without putting too much stress on his joints.

"Now, young'un," he continued, turning to Blair, "while Jimmy unsaddles Hercules, how about you saddle up Rosie? Use a jumping saddle; I think it's time for your first jumping lesson."

"Really? Oh, boy! C'mon, Jimmy!" Blair leaped down and raced toward the stable, not waiting to see if his friend followed him.

"Meet me in the small training corral in twenty minutes!" Sam called after him. He chuckled and turned to the older boy again. "Go with him, Jimmy; he's too excited for his own good."

Jim nodded and headed Hercules in that direction. By the time he tied the horse to the ring outside the tack-room, Blair had already brought Rosie from her stall and was industriously brushing her, while explaining the great treat they'd soon have.

After removing the saddle from Hercules, Jim did his own brushing while listening in amusement as Blair described the morning session. "I bet Jimmy's the best rider in the whole world; he went over those jumps so easy. I wonder if he'll stay an' watch while I have my lesson?"

"Of course I'll be watching, Chief -- if you'll do me a favor."

"Sure, Jimmy, what?" Blair asked eagerly.

"I'd like you to call me 'Jim'. 'Jimmy' sounds like a little boy's name. Sam and my dad think of me like that, and they'll probably never change. But I can start being 'Jim' with you. Sound good?"

"Yeah, I can do that, J- Jim. But then why do you call me 'Chief' instead of 'Blair'?" He examined the saddle pad as he spoke, then placed it on Rosie's back.

"Well, at least 'Chief' isn't babyish," Jim pointed out. "But I'll stop if you want. Would you rather be called 'Blair'?"

"No, I like 'Chief'," Blair assured him. "I just wondered why, is all." He lifted the saddle into place and pulled the cinch as tight as he could.

Jim walked around Hercules and finished pulling Rosie's cinch tight without being asked. "I had a friend, once -- a good friend -- who used to call me 'Chief'. It just seems to work for you. Do you mind having a used nickname?"

Blair's eyes widened. "You mean you gave me your old nickname? That's so cool! Thank you -- Jim." His smug expression proclaimed his satisfaction at remembering to use the preferred name.

"Then we're good, Chief. Now let's go see how good a jumper you are."

If Blair was disappointed to be faced with a series of eight-inch caveletti, instead of the forty-two inch training jumps Jim had used, he didn't let on. He listened carefully to Sam's instructions and executed perfect form -- head up, back level over the horse's neck, his little butt floating in the air above the saddle-seat -- as Rosie trotted over the low-set rails.

"Lookin' good, there, Chief!" Jim called out, and saw the flash of a prideful smile before Blair's face again showed his careful determination as he rounded the corner and headed over another set of the caveletti.

Finally, Sam said, "Jimmy, go set up a one-two at the far end; I'm going to let Blair ride a pattern." Sam called the little boy over and, while he explained the course Blair should follow, Jim formed a modest jump with three of the caveletti -- one in front with two stacked up directly behind, to form a sixteen-inch rise; Rosie would actually have to lift her body to clear it.

Jim heard the hoofbeats behind him and stepped to the side of the obstacle to watch Blair approaching, his face creased in concentration. He rounded the corner, trotted over four single-stride caveletti, then took three balancing strides and lifted up and over the miniature jump, maintaining his proper 'hunt-seat' position.

"Yippee!" floated back to Jim's ears as soon as Rosie landed; Blair sat up and pumped his fist in the air, as excited as if he'd won Olympic gold. "Did you see that, Jimmy? I mean Jim. Did you see? Me an' Rosie did good, didn't we?"

"You did real good, Chief," Jim assured him. "Pretty soon, you'll be giving me advice. I'll expect you to see me through to the steeplechase in September."

"Oh, I will, Jim, I really will. Me an' you an' Hercules will be so good you'll be sure to win!"

"I think you're right. But in the meantime, I think your lesson is finished. Let's give Rosie a good rubdown, to say 'thank you'." Together, the tall teen and the diminutive little boy headed toward the stable, each well-pleased with their morning's efforts.




On Thursday, Jim approached the stable with considerably more eagerness than he had just three days previously. He had missed Blair yesterday, and had been thoroughly bored at home. He wondered if he could convince his dad that riding five days a week -- maybe even six -- would increase his chances of winning.

He smiled to see Blair waiting for him at the main entrance, bouncing impatiently with excitement. Jim quickly paid the cabbie and hurried to greet his little friend. "Hey, Chief! How's it goin'?"

"Jim!" Blair caroled happily. "I been waitin'! Sam says we can go on a trail ride today, just take it easy an' stay out as long as we want. I already got some doggie biscuits; can we go to that place an' leave them for my wolfie?"

"Your wolfie?" Jim asked, eyebrows raised. "How did that happen?"

"I been thinkin' about her. When you think about people, that means they're your friends. So she's my friend, an' that makes her mine," Blair replied firmly, with the inarguable logic of a seven-year-old.

"You got it, kiddo. But after we drop off the goodies for your wolf, what about us?" Jim followed Blair's impatient scamper down the aisle.

"Oh, we got good stuff," Blair promised as he picked up a halter and headed toward Rosie's stall. "Sadie made us some chicken sandwiches an' chocolate cake an' lemonade."

"A veritable feast," Jim agreed as he picked up Hercules' halter. "Okay, meet you back at the tack-room." Each boy slipped into a stall to collect his horse.

They were soon trotting down the trail, enjoying the warm early summer sunshine. Realizing how eager Blair was to distribute his 'wolfie treats', Jim led them unerringly to the small meadow where they'd seen her. Blair rode around the perimeter, dropping a handful of the hard biscuits in three different spots. He rode back to Jim with an air of satisfaction.

"There! If she comes back here to hunt, I bet she'll find them," he declared. "Hey, Jim, you can see an' hear a lot better'n me; is she anywhere close by?"

How does he know? Jim wondered, but obediently opened his senses. After a few moments, he replied, "Not right now, Chief, but I think she was here yesterday."

Blair nodded, his expectations confirmed. "Good. I bet she'll find them tomorrow."

"And I bet you're planning to drop some more treats; I see a suspicious bulge in your saddlebag. So what d'ya say we ride up along that ridge? Seems like it would be prime wolf-hunting territory."

"Okay," Blair agreed. "An' you pay attention; maybe you'll find someplace else she's been."

They rode in comfortable silence for awhile, before Jim broached the subject. "Chief, how do you know I can see and hear better than you can?"

"Not just me -- everybody," Blair asserted. "An' smell an' touch better, too, an' prob'ly taste."

So much for secrets, Jim thought. "Yes, but how do you know?" he persisted.

Blair shrugged carelessly. "I dunno; I just do."

At seven years of age, Jim reflected, the kid probably really didn't know how he had made the connection. He sighed and gave in. "Okay, but look -- I don't want other people to know. So can you keep it a secret? For me?"

"Sure I can, Jim," the little boy declared stoutly. "But why? Isn't bein' good at that stuff a good thing?"

"Sometimes," Jim admitted. "I found my little brother, once, when he was lost. But lots of people will think I'm a freak if they know about it, and I don't want the hassle."

"You're not a freak!" Blair insisted. "You're really special, an' that's a good thing, I promise!"

"I'm glad you think so. But not everyone does. So, you'll keep the secret, right?"

Blair nodded vigorously. "Right! Pinkie swear?" He stretched out his hand, little finger crooked.

Jim reached out to twine his smallest finger around Blair's, and they solemnly shook. "Pinkie swear," he agreed. "Thanks, buddy."

They continued riding. Jim watched closely and soon spotted some sign. He reined Hercules to a halt. "Look there, Chief; I see some wolf tracks, and a bit of blood and rabbit fur."

Blair peered at the ground, obviously not seeing anything, but he trusted Jim's observations. "Good!" he said. "That means you're right, an' she's been around here, too." He reached into his saddlebag and pulled out a handful of the doggie treats, which he dropped on the ground.

"It could be a different wolf, Chief," Jim cautioned.

"No, it's mine; I know it. Like you said, she's gotta feed her babies."

Jim shrugged; there was no need to disillusion his little friend. He picked up the reins, and they moved onward.

Half an hour later they came across a small grassy area that bordered a little stream. While the horses grazed, the boys pulled off their boots and socks and paddled their feet in the water as they ate their sandwiches and cake.

While they were packing their lunch wrappings into their saddlebags, Jim sensed... something. He looked around, extending his eyesight, and soon saw the wolf, peering at them from under a concealing bush.

"Chief!" he whispered. "There's your wolf -- under that bush."

Blair looked eagerly, but was unable to penetrate the shadows of her hiding place. "I can't see her," he said, disappointed.

"Well, she sees you," Jim assured him, "and it is your wolf, just like you thought. I bet she wants a drink of water, and she's just waiting for us to leave."

"That sounds fair. C'mere, Rosie," Blair called, and kissed to urge her toward him. Jim went to get Hercules, lifted Blair onto Rosie -- there being no convenient fence or boulder nearby -- and swung into the saddle himself.

"Just a minute," Blair insisted. Riding toward the water, he dropped a handful of biscuits at the edge of the stream. "Those are for you, Wolfie," he said softly. "I hope you like them." He waved at the bush where Jim said his wolf was hiding, and turned to join his friend.

They had ridden a scant hundred yards when Jim called a halt. "Get down, Chief. Let's leave the horses here, and see if we can sneak back." They tied the horses to a tree branch, took off their boots, and walked as quietly as possible back to the tree-lined edge of the grassy little glade.

Blair gasped in excitement. There was his wolf, just like Jim had said. She was eating his 'wolfie treats' with, he was convinced, a blissful expression on her face. She had accepted his present!

They watched while the wolf finished the hard biscuits, took a long drink of water, then slipped into the underbrush. Jim stirred and stood upright. "That's it, Chief. She's probably headed back to her cubs, and we should head home, too. Let's saddle up."

They rode homeward, Blair thoroughly satisfied with their day's outing, and Jim a little bemused that Blair's 'wolfie' had actually materialized. Blair was undoubtedly the most unusual little boy he'd ever met, and almost frighteningly self-confident and independent. Jim and Sam would need to impress upon Blair that 'his' wolf was still a wild animal, despite her acceptance of the doggie treats. Otherwise, Jim was convinced, Blair would soon be making plans to bring his 'wolfie' and her 'puppies' home to live with him.




One week slipped into two, and Jim continued to enjoy Blair's company; he was such an engaging little scamp. Blair, for his part, had a full-blown case of hero-worship; Jim was the smartest person he knew -- even smarter than Naomi -- and the best rider, and his extra-keen senses made him almost magical... or at least as good as Superman. And he never seemed to get tired of letting Blair hang around, as often happened with other people.

Sam, as he had promised, varied their schedule, rotating arena jumping with cross-country work and 'free days' when the boys could just relax and wander the countryside with the horses. Jim and Hercules were working so well together that they seemed to have a telepathic connection; each knew what the other wanted or needed, and responded flawlessly. Blair had a solid foundation in jumping, and could clear three-foot obstacles with ease; he delighted in finding downed logs or wide streams to jump over when they were out trail-riding on their 'free days'.

Jim became adept at spotting wolf-sign, and grew to recognize if it had been left by Blair's 'wolfie'; she had a crooked toe on her left hind paw that distinguished her prints from the three or four other wolves that seemed to roam the area. Blair continued to drop his doggie treats at likely places and, on two other occasions, they caught a glimpse of the animal. She appeared to be cautious, but unafraid of the boys, and even seemed to be associating the treats with their presence. But, as much of a chatterbox as Blair was, he had told no one else about his 'wolfie'; she was a precious secret between him and Jim, and he held it close to his heart.




Blair wandered through the empty landscape, unconcerned about the strange blue light which surrounded him. It was pretty, but he couldn't be bothered to pay attention to it. There was something important he had to do; he just knew it. He wasn't sure what it was yet, but he was certain he'd find it, if he just kept searching.

After awhile, he noticed a sound -- a kind of pleading whimper. Instantly, he was convinced that that was his goal. He hurried in that direction, and soon heard the whimpering grow louder, interspersed with pain-filled growls. He started to run.

Bursting out of a stand of trees, he saw his wolf crawling along the ground. Something was wrong; her back leg didn't work, and it was red with blood. Blair squatted in front of her; he didn't know what to do. The wolf raised her head to look at him, panting in distress, her golden eyes pleading for help...


"NO!" Blair gasped, bolting upright in his bed. He looked wildly around; the first light of dawn was just creeping through the windows, and he recognized his bedroom in Uncle Trevor's house.

It was early, he realized; probably no one else was awake yet, not even Sadie or Sam. But he'd get ready; then when someone did wake up, he could ask them to go with him to find and help his wolf.

Accordingly, Blair scrambled out of bed, dressed hurriedly in clean jeans and T-shirt, and washed his face and brushed his teeth. Then he tiptoed into the kitchen and -- oh, good! -- there was Sadie, mixing up the batter for breakfast pancakes.

"Well, good morning, Blair!" Sadie exclaimed. "And what are you doing up so early this fine day?"

Blair chewed his lip in thought. Sadie was a cook; she probably didn't know much about animals, and wouldn't be able to help him.

"I gotta talk to Sam about something," he finally explained. "D'ya think he's up, yet?"

"Oh, I'm sure he is. He has to feed the animals just like I have to feed the people. So you run out and talk to him, but don't be too long; breakfast in forty-five minutes."

Blair nodded. Yes, they'd need to eat before looking for his wolf; it might take a long time. But, if Sam started getting ready, they could leave as soon as breakfast was over. He slipped out the kitchen door and hurried toward the stable.

He found Sam -- and Marcella and Larry -- tossing flakes of hay into the hay-racks and pouring grain into the bins underneath. Blair waited till Sam came out of a stall, then asked, "Sam, can I talk to you?"

"Sure can, Blair," he said easily, then stepped into another stall. Coming back out, he continued, "But you'll have to do it in pieces while I work. I promise, I'll listen anyway."

"Okay." Blair hesitated, then plunged in. "I have a wolf-friend, an' she's hurt, an' I wanna help her, an' can you go with me 'cause I might not know what to do." He waited patiently while Sam stepped into another stall.

"A wolf-friend, huh? And how did this happen?"

"Me an' Jim been seeing her when we go on trail-rides, an' I been leaving doggie treats for her." Another stall, another short wait.

"Sounds like a friend," Sam agreed. "But how do you know she's hurt?"

This would be a problem; a lot of grownups didn't really believe in dreams. Maybe if it was something more, like a... yes, like the visions of an Indian medicine man. Those were important; surely Sam would respect a 'vision' more than a 'dream'.

"I had a vision last night; it was all blue an' everything. An' my wolf looked at me an' asked for help, so I really gotta find her."

Sam disappeared into another stall. When he came out, he asked, "Were you in bed when you had this vision last night?" At Blair's nod, he squatted to look at the little boy face-to-face. "Blair," he explained, "even if it was blue, it was still a dream, and dreams aren't real. I think somewhere inside of you, you'd like to be a hero to your wolf-friend, so your mind made this up. But a wolf is a wild animal, and can take care of itself. Giving her doggie treats is being enough of a friend; you don't need to do more."

Blair stared rebelliously at the door as Sam slipped into another stall. Naomi didn't allow him to use bad words, but he could think them. So he did. Damn! Stupid grownups!

But the thoughts didn't make him feel better, and didn't get him any closer to helping his wolf. Maybe...

"Okay, Blair," Sam announced, stepping out of the last stall, "I'll bet Sadie has breakfast ready. Let's get up there before it gets cold."

As Blair fell in beside Sam, stretching his legs as far as he could, he continued his plans. Jim would be here this morning, and he wasn't a grownup yet; maybe he'd listen when Blair told him how urgent it was. Okay. Blair would eat a big breakfast, and be ready as soon as Jim showed up. His wolf was counting on him.




"Jim! Jim!" Blair cried as the cab pulled up in front of the stable. He dashed forward and practically leaped into the teen's arms. "You have to help! My wolfie is hurt, an' we gotta go find her!"

"Easy, buddy, easy," Jim soothed, his arms curving to cradle the small boy and offer comfort for he knew not what. "Take it from the top, slowly, and tell me all about it."

And Blair did just that, explaining about the blue light and helpless wolf, and the urgency of finding her. But, to his vast disappointment, Jim brushed off his concerns, just as Sam had.

Jim sat Blair on top of the nearby fence, so that were at eye-level with each other. "Look, Chief, our minds can play tricks on us, especially in our dreams. I know you've been kind of worrying about your wolf, and how she's managing to take care of her cubs, haven't you?" He waited for Blair's reluctant nod. "So your mind just took that worry and made it bigger in your dreams. But, honest, it's not real. Your wolf is part of a pack, and the pack members take care of each other. So she's all right, and tomorrow we'll check out all the places we've seen her, and I bet we'll see her again. But today Sam has me doing practice jumps, so it'll have to wait till then. Okay?"

"We could go after lunch," Blair suggested hesitantly. "You could eat with us, an' we could go right after. I bet we could find her easy. She's up there, somewhere." He pointed halfway up the mountain that rose out of the forest.

"I'm sorry, Chief, I really can't. There's a corporate meet 'n' greet this afternoon, and my dad says I gotta be there; I'll have to leave right after my ride." He patted Blair's knee consolingly. "But I promise, first thing tomorrow, we'll head out, okay?"

What could Blair say? He averted his gaze from Jim's and shrugged unhappily, then climbed down from the fence and followed the older boy into the stable, his dragging footsteps signaling his dejection. He watched Jim saddle Hercules without his usual cheerful commentary, then followed them to the practice arena and plunked down in the shade of a tree to watch Jim ride. But his eyes kept trying to close, making it difficult to focus on Jim's performance. After a short time he gave up the struggle and curled up in the grass, resting his head on his arm.




Blair ran through the blue light. His wolf was here, somewhere; he had to see how she was doing. Maybe, like Jim said, the rest of the pack were helping her. Maybe she could wait another day. But he had to be sure.

There it was again, that pain-filled whimper. Blair ran even faster, pumping his legs desperately; he had to reach her, had to see what was happening to her.

He burst over a slight rise and found her curled up in a shallow depression. No other members of the pack were with her, and her continued distress was evident through her harsh panting and strained whining.

Blair threw himself prone in front of the wolf, aching to comfort her. He had been right, he had! She couldn't wait till tomorrow; she needed help soon.

"I'll come for you, Wolfie, I promise; you just wait for me. I'll come as quick as I can, an' I'll
make Jim or Sam come with me, so they can fix you up. So you keep waiting, an' soon you'll be okay."

The wolf looked trustfully into his eyes, then laid her head on her paws to wait. Blair stayed where he was, talking to her in soothing murmurs, but soon the blue light -- and the wolf -- started to fade away.





Blair crept into the kitchen. Lunch was finished, and Sadie had not yet started preparations for dinner; the coast was clear. If no one would help him save his wolf, he'd help her himself. He had a splendid plan -- he'd get lost with his wolf. Naomi would worry, and he was sorry for that, but it was really important. When Uncle Trevor or Sam or somebody came to find him, and he was right next to the wolf, then they'd have to help her.

But it might take them a long time to find him -- maybe even a whole day -- so he had to take some food and water with him. Blair filled his small plastic canteen, acquired during his many travels with Naomi, with cold water, then made two peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches. He put them in a small brown sack that would fit in the saddle bag, along with an apple and a banana, and six chocolate-chip cookies. That should be enough.

Heading toward the door, Blair paused. If he would get hungry, his wolf would, too. She might already be hungry, because the grownups had made him wait to rescue her. Blair was pretty sure a wolf wouldn't like peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches; Uncle Trevor's dog Patch didn't, and wolves were a lot like dogs.

He opened the fridge and surveyed its contents; what would a wolf like to eat?

Perfect! He pulled out the slab of leftover meatloaf. It was already enclosed in plastic wrap, and easily slipped into another small brown sack. But if Blair had two sandwiches, the wolf should also have two somethings. Another examination of the fridge contents yielded an almost-full package of bologna, which fit very nicely next to the meatloaf. And treats, of course. He added a few handfuls of doggie biscuits to fill in the empty spaces around the meat.

Water. His wolf might get thirsty, but Blair only had one canteen. But a kitchen should have something to carry water in.

A search of the lower cupboards yielded only pots and pans and a few empty glass jars, but they might break. Blair pulled over a chair so that he could search the high cupboards. And there was his solution -- some big plastic glasses with tight lids. He grabbed two -- his wolf might be very thirsty -- and filled them. Okay; now he had enough supplies.

Blair tried to sneak like an Indian as he entered the barn; if somebody saw him, they'd be sure to stop him. But Sam had taken a group of students to Murphy's Meadow, and Marcella was working with another group of students in the dressage arena. Uncle Trevor and Naomi had gone to town after lunch, and Sam had told Larry to fix some fence, so he should be safe from discovery.

He left the food and water to wait in the tack room while he went to get Rosie. She came to Blair as willingly as always, and he was soon brushing her clean. Of course, he had to let Rosie in on his secret. "I know my wolf is in trouble, even if they don't believe it," Blair whispered confidentially. "But I bet you an' me can find her. Then I'll stay with the wolf, an' you can come home by yourself. An' when they see I'm not with you, they'll come looking for me, an' you can show them the way to where we are, okay, Rosie?"

The horse snorted softly, which Blair took as agreement for his clever plan. He placed saddle pad and saddle on her back, then paused. Buckling the saddle tight enough was always a problem, but Marcella had showed him a neat trick just a few days ago; he was pretty sure he could do it. Blair pulled the cinch as tight as he could. Using the stepstool, he was able to reach the stirrup with his foot and swing his leg over the saddle just as good as Jim did. "I wish Jim was here to go with us, Rosie," he said softly, "but I know we can do this. Now hold still while I pull those buckles tighter." Blair moved his left leg out of the way, and bent over the saddle flap; his weight had pushed the saddle down far enough that he was able to pull the cinch straps two holes tighter. Now he could be sure the saddle wouldn't slip.

Blair slid down to finish getting Rosie ready. He tied a set of saddlebags to the rings behind his seat, and loaded them with the food and water. He put his helmet on his head, slipped Rosie's bridle in her mouth, and he was ready to go. He used the stepstool once more as he climbed into the saddle. It was against the rules to mount up in the barn -- or to leave things in the aisle, like the stepstool -- but he was already breaking so many rules that a few more wouldn't matter. He wouldn't write the time or where he was going on the notice board, either; he needed a head start to find his wolf before the grownups found him.

Blair patted Rosie on the neck as they exited the barn, and turned her away from their usual path. Somewhere up on the side of that mountain; that's where he'd find his wolf. He 'kissed' gently and nudged Rosie into an easy jog; he didn't want her to get too tired if his wolf was a long way away.




The sun was going down, and the air had a slight chill, especially under the forest trees. Blair had been riding for hours, and his legs were trembling with the strain of using the same muscles for too long a period of time. But that didn't matter; his wolf must be close now. Something inside of him had been telling him which way to go, like a rope pulling Rosie's halter, but it wasn't working anymore; maybe they were too close.

Blair drew Rosie to a halt while he tried to think of a way to find his wolf. He wished his friend was here. Jim didn't talk about it too much, but he could hear way better than other people; sometimes even better than the horses. Oh, that was a good idea; maybe he could use Rosie's ears. He leaned forward to talk to her.

"Rosie, I'm gonna ask my wolfie to make some noise. You listen real good to hear her, okay? An' then you can take us there." Blair straightened up to call into the gathering dusk, "Hey, Wolfie? We're coming to help you, but we can't find you. So make some noise, okay? So Rosie can hear you an' bring me there. Just make some noise, Wolfie, an' we'll come quick."

He waited, straining his ears, but heard only the normal soft sounds of the forest. But Rosie pricked her ears and looked to the right, snorting softly.

"Good girl, Rosie!" Blair exclaimed. "Now take me there." He nudged her with his heels, but left the reins loose, letting her find her own way.

A few moments later, Blair was looking across a small clearing at an outcropping of rock. He still couldn't hear anything, but Rosie didn't want to go any closer; she was snorting and backing up each time Blair tried. Well, Sam said that most horses didn't like wild animals, so his wolf must be somewhere in there. Okay, he could walk the rest of the way himself.

Twisting in the saddle, Blair unhooked the saddlebags and let them fall to the ground, then slid down himself. He pulled Rosie's face to his level, and stroked her forehead while he explained. "You did good, Rosie; thank you. Now you gotta go home so people will come looking for me, an' you can show them the way back, okay?" He unbuckled the bridle and slipped it off her head, because a running horse might get tangled in loose reins and fall and hurt herself. He petted her one more time, then moved down her side and slapped her on the flank, as hard as he could. Stepping back, Blair waved one of the reins in the air like a training whip as he shouted, "Go, Rosie! Go on home!" He added several urgent kisses for good measure, and watched in satisfaction as the horse moved off at a fast trot.

Good. Now to take care of his wolf. Blair picked up his saddlebags and the bridle, and headed across the meadow toward the rocky outcrop.

Halfway there, he could hear a series of whining growls, and homed in on two large boulders lying half-buried, a short distance away from the main mass of rocks. A few more minutes let him see the wolf he had come so far to help. She was lying between the two boulders, trapped somehow, whimpering and panting in distress.

Blair ached to comfort her, but Sam had told him that injured animals weren't always in control of their actions; you had to approach carefully, and give them time to adjust. Accordingly, Blair sank cross-legged to the ground, a few yards away from his wolf, but within easy sight / sound / sent range, so she could get used to him.

"Hey, Wolfie," he crooned. "It's okay now. I'll stay here an' take care of you till my friends get here, an' they'll get you out of there an' then you'll be okay. Will you let me come closer? I have some food for you, an' some water; that'll make you feel better. You'll let me come closer, won't you?"

The wolf was quieter now; she seemed to be listening to the soothing voice, and watched Blair without observable fear. Encouraged, he reached into the saddlebags and snagged the meatloaf and one of the plastic glasses of water. He unwrapped the meatloaf and, holding it in extended hand, scooted closer to the wolf, murmuring reassuringly as he moved. She watched alertly, but made no threatening gestures.

Finally, Blair was close enough. He laid the meatloaf under her nose, then moved back a little bit to reassure her. Keeping a wary eye on Blair, the wolf nevertheless devoured the food in four quick gulps, then licked her chops in gratitude.

Blair was pleased that his offering had been accepted. "That was good, huh? Sadie's a real good cook; I thought you'd like it. Are you thirsty? I have some water, but I forgot to bring a bowl. But if you'll let me stay close to you, I can hold the glass while you stick your tongue in it." Blair pulled off the lid so that the wolf could smell the water, and was rewarded with a small whine. "I'm coming," he assured her, and scooted close again.

The wolf started lapping at the water as soon as Blair was within reach. He set the tumbler on the ground and steadied it with both hands so that she wouldn't tip it over. But when the glass was half empty, her tongue could no longer reach. The wolf whined in frustration, while Blair bit his lip in sympathy and tried to think of a solution.

"I know how we can do it!" he exclaimed. "But you gotta let me get real, real close. Is that okay?" Reading assent in her eyes, Blair set the water out of spilling distance, then pulled off his top shirt. Moving still closer to the wolf, he crossed his legs and draped his shirt into the middle space to form a shallow bowl. Then he grabbed the plastic wrap, lined the improvised bowl with that, and finally poured the rest of the water into it. No longer wary, the wolf plunged her head forward and drank until she licked the plastic dry.

"I bet you feel way better now, don't you? You're so pretty; would you let me pet you? Sam says stay away from wild animals, but you know me now, so that's okay, isn't it? Here, you wanna sniff?" Blair slowly extended his hand, and broke into a broad smile as she first sniffed, then quickly licked the hand. "That tickles!" he giggled, "but I guess that means yes. Here I come." Still moving slowly, with the wolf watching as the hand approached, Blair gently touched her head, then started scratching between her ears. After a few moments she sighed, and lowered her head to her paws while Blair continued scratching. "Yeah, I thought you'd like that; Patch does."

Finally, Blair stirred. "You know, I need to see what's the matter with you before it gets all the way dark. Maybe I can get you loose an' you won't have to wait till my friends get here. I'll just go around the back of these ol' rocks an' see what's holding you." Giving a last pat to the wolf's head, he rose to investigate.

That side of the boulders faced west, and the rays of the setting sun showed the ugly scene clearly. Blair felt sick; his beautiful wolf had her back leg caught in a nasty steel trap, which was attached to a small log by a stout chain. She must have been dragging everything behind her, but the narrow passage that was big enough for her body wasn't wide enough for the log; it had jammed tight, impeding her further progress.

Blair stretched, but his arms weren't long enough to reach the trap. He probably wasn't strong enough to open it anyway, but he wished he could try. It was no use; they'd have to wait for the others. Poor wolf. But she was a little bit lucky; apparently a heavy stick had been lying on the trap when she stepped in it. That stick was big enough that the trap had not closed on her leg with its full force; the leg was bloody, and she was obviously held fast, but her leg wasn't bent, so maybe the bone wasn't broken. And it was a good thing the passage was so narrow; the wolf hadn't had room to turn on her own length and chew off the leg to get free of the trap. Blair had heard about that, and it was a dangerous solution; a three-legged wolf would die when she couldn't hunt, and her puppies with her.

Puppies! Blair craned his head and squinted as he peered at her belly. Yes, her teats were still full of milk. There were baby wolves somewhere, and they must be very hungry. Now the situation was even more urgent.

Blair hurried around to the front of the boulders and faced the wolf again. "I'm sorry, I didn't remember about your puppies," he said. "I bet you're worried about them, an' I bet they're awful hungry. Are they close? If you tell me where they are, I could bring them to you."

The wolf regarded him calmly, her golden eyes peering into his, but gave no sign that she understood. "Puppies," Blair repeated urgently, then made whimpering noises, imitating as best he could the pups he'd played with when Moonglow's dog had had a litter. It made an impression on the wolf; she pricked her ears, stared at Blair, then up into the rocks above, then back at Blair.

"That's right," he urged. "Call them, so they'll make noise an' I can find them." Once again, he made puppy-whimpers.

Abruptly, the wolf decided. Lifting her head, she sent a series of yipping calls aimed at the rock outcropping, which were answered by excited yipping squeals.

Blair stared closely in the direction of the answering yips. He saw a shadow that might be the opening of a hidden cave, and it looked like he could get up there. He'd have to hurry; the sun had slipped halfway below the horizon, and it would be dangerous to be climbing on the rocks once all the light was gone from the sky.

"Okay," Blair said earnestly, "I'll go get them for you." He gave the wolf a quick pat and headed up.

It wasn't too hard, though he had to zigzag back and forth to find rises that were low enough for him to climb. But finally, Blair reached a level ledge and, sure enough, there was an opening under a slight overhang. It was too dark to see inside, and he shouldn't reach in blindly; even puppies might bite if they were scared. But maybe he could coax them out.

"Puppies? Are you in there?" Blair used his most winsome tones, then added puppy-noises for effect. "If you come out, I'll take you to your mother. Come out, little puppies!"

Nothing happened. Well, that made sense; they didn't know him yet. Blair turned and called down to his wolf. "They won't come out! Will you tell them it's okay?" He was answered by a series of yips, which finally elicited a response from within the cave. Yapping excitedly, two little cubs bounded out of the darkness, only to stop in confusion when they saw the large, unfamiliar animal in front of them.

Blair immediately laid down to make himself look smaller. "Hi, guys. Your mama can't come up right now, so I'll take you to her an' then you can eat. You're hungry aren't you? Your mama can fix that. It's okay, I won't hurt you; your mama even let me pet her -- see?" He held out the hand that had touched the wolf and let them sniff.

Scenting their mother, the cubs lost all reservations; they scrambled forward and pounced on Blair, licking his face and pulling at his hair and clothes with tiny growls. Blair giggled and wrestled with them for a short time, but it was getting darker by the minute. Going down would be easier than coming up, but he needed to get started.

"That's enough, puppies; we gotta go see your mama. Com'on." He tucked one under each arm and headed down.

By the time he reached the bottom, the cubs were squirming wildly as they heard and smelled their mother. "Okay, okay," Blair grumbled, "I guess you can run faster'n me." He set them on the ground, and watched as they bounded toward the boulders that imprisoned their mother.

It was too dark to see clearly when Blair reached the boulders. He peered into the narrow space between; as best he could tell, the pups were lying on top of their mother's body and leaning over the side to suckle. His wolf was lying quietly, and seemed at peace.

All was well -- or as well as it could be until someone came to get his wolf loose from the trap. Now he could take care of his own needs. Blair ate one of his sandwiches and the banana, followed by a few swallows of water; he didn't want to use it up too fast. He'd save the cookies for later, in case he wanted a snack.

"You want some more to eat?" he asked, noticing that the wolf seemed interested in what he was doing. "Okay; you can have some doggie biscuits; we have to save the bologna for breakfast."

The wolf quickly ate the offered treats, and lapped up half her glass of water. "That's all," Blair informed her kindly. "Now I'm awful tired; is it okay if I lay down close to you?" Taking her silence for consent, Blair hunched closer, resting his head on one arm as a pillow, and twining his other hand in the thick ruff of hair at the wolf's neck. "Good night," he said drowsily, and was asleep within minutes.




Jim sullenly followed his father into the house. That was four hours of his life he'd never get back. Thank god it was over; he couldn't wait to get out of his suit and tie.

Sally stopped him as he reached the foot of the stairs. "Jimmy, a Mr. Evanston called from the stables. He'd like you to call him back; he said it was urgent."

Sam? What could he want? "Thanks, Sally; I'll do it right now." He hurried into the kitchen, trying to ignore the alarms shrieking in his mind. Sam wouldn't call unless something was really wrong, but he'd find out in a minute.

He dialed the number of the stable, then had to wait while Marcella fetched Sam.

"Jimmy? Thanks for calling back. Listen, it looks like Blair's gone off by himself. Do you have any idea what he planned?"

"You mean he's run away?" The kid wouldn't do that, would he? He'd seemed happy at the stables -- and with Jim.

"We don't know; we couldn't find him at suppertime, but he didn't leave a note. There's some food missing from the kitchen, and Rosie's not in her stall, so we know he's not on foot and he's planning to be gone awhile; we just don't know if he intends it to be permanent. We've got everyone out looking -- some of the neighbors are helping, his mother went out with Mr. Madison and Marcella, and even the sheriff's posse is out hunting. Between us, we've ridden all the trails around here, and searched the likely spots, but we haven't seen a sign of either of them. I came back to call you; I hoped you might have an idea where he'd go; did the kid say anything to you?"

In his mind's eye, Jim watched the confident hand pointing toward the mountain, watched the shoulders slump when the requested help was denied, and was certain he knew where Blair was headed. "Yeah, Sam, I think he's gone to rescue his wolf."

"His wolf!" Sam was incredulous. "You mean that dream he was talking about this morning?"

"Dream to you and me, maybe, but he thought it was a vision and you know what a determined little guy he is; he's going to follow that vision no matter what it takes." Despite the seriousness of the situation, a ring of pride crept into Jim's voice; his little friend had the gumption of someone three times his age. "But, yeah, I think I know where he's going. I'll change my clothes and come right out."

"That's okay, Jimmy. Just tell us which way to head, and we'll concentrate our search there; we'll find him."

Nuh-uh. No way in hell would Jim sit cozily at home while Blair was somewhere on the mountain, waiting -- he was sure -- for Jim to come help him. "It's almost dark, Sam," he pointed out, "and I..." He hesitated, but this was for Blair. "...I have real good night-vision. I think I might be able to find and follow the trail easier than someone else."

"Okay, Jimmy, I'll wait for you. And truthfully, I'll be grateful for the help. I'll have Hercules saddled for you; just get here as quick as you can."

"I will. And listen, Sam..." It was a wild idea, but his instincts insisted he bring it out into the open. "...You know, if Blair has found an injured animal, it'll break his heart if we drag him away without helping it. So maybe you should pack some antibiotics and bandages and stuff to fix up something like a bad cut. If we don't need it, it won't hurt anything, but..." He trailed off, certain that Sam would think he'd gone looney-tunes.

There was a surprised silence on the other end of the line, then, You're probably right. Like you said, Blair's a determined little cuss. I'll pack some tranquilizer, too; I wouldn't want to tend a wounded wolf while the teeth are functional. Okay, I'll have everything ready. See you soon, Jimmy."

As soon as the ~click~ sounded in his ear, Jim called the cab company, then dashed toward his room, unbuttoning his shirt as he went.




"Jimmy! You made good time!" Sam called as Jim slammed the cab door and hurried forward.

Jim responded briefly, his mind already ranging far ahead. "Hey, Sam. Are we ready to go?" As promised, Sam had Hercules saddled and waiting, as well as Sampson -- a stout, muscular dun quarter horse -- for his own use. Jim untied Hercules from the fencepost, and waited impatiently for Sam to do the same.

"Everything but the kitchen sink," Sam assured him, untying Sampson. "Food and people medicine in your saddlebags -- just in case -- and water and animal medicine in mine. Let's go."

They had just settled in the saddle when Jim lifted his head. "Wait a minute, Sam. I hear a horse out there, moving kind of fast. Maybe Blair's coming back."

A few moments later, Rosie loped into the stable-yard, nickering happily to see her friend. She slowed and then stopped near Hercules, breathing deeply but without the heaving gasps that would signify panic or distress. Both men dismounted to evaluate the situation.

"No saddlebags or bridle," Sam pointed out. "Which means that Blair got off voluntarily instead of falling."

"And that means he found his wolf and is staying there," Jim agreed. "But why did he set Rosie loose?"

Sam chuckled. "Blair's a pretty smart cookie, but he pretty much believes that animals are people with four legs. Five'll get you ten that he expects Rosie to do a 'Lassie' and lead us back to him.

"But now we need to take another horse, so he can ride back with us. Hang on a few minutes while I get Sunny." Sam led Rosie into the stable, calling for Larry to take care of her while he saddled the other horse.

Left alone, Jim considered Sam's words. Maybe Rosie could lead them to Blair -- if he could distinguish her hoofprints from other horses. All the horses wore shoes, but maybe...

Jim walked along the route he'd seen Rosie travel as she approached, examining the ground minutely. Everywhere, her hoofprints were mixed with others, and he couldn't tell which was which. But a hundred yards farther on, he hit the jackpot. Rosie had stepped in soft dirt at the edge of a puddle left over from the last rain; no other horse had walked that close to the puddle, and her prints were as clear as if written on a page.

Jim studied them carefully, looking for anything that was more distinctive than plain old horseshoe. There! It looked like a nail was coming loose on the inside of her left rear shoe; he'd have to tell Sam to have it reset tomorrow. But, for now, the slightly-extruded nailhead left a deeper indentation in that hoofprint. Good. Jim would be able to distinguish Rosie's pattern when she crossed areas that had a multitude of tangled prints; they wouldn't waste any time trying to figure out which was which as they followed Rosie's back-trail.

Jim hurried back to the stable-yard. Sam had Sunny on a lead-line, and was ready to mount up. That suited Jim just fine; there was no time to waste. As he swung into the saddle, he explained how he could recognize Rosie's trail. Impatience riding him hard, Jim reined Hercules into the lead, Sam following with the extra horse trailing behind him.

Fortunately, the moon was almost full. Unfortunately, the broken layer of clouds dimmed the light at crucial moments. It hardly mattered. Jim could see Rosie's trail regardless of the light; he just made sure to point it out to Sam only when the clouds uncovered the moon. But for Jim, the trail was almost superfluous; he could feel Blair ahead of him, higher on the mountain. Rosie's trail ensured that they followed the same route Blair had taken, but Jim was absolutely certain that he could find his little friend with or without the trail, or even if he was blindfolded.




Sam followed the teenager's lead, marveling to himself. Jimmy was a city kid, but he was following the trail more easily than the best hunting guide Sam had ever met, or even heard of. It was almost uncanny. Jimmy had said he had good night-vision, but his eyes must be as good as... an owl's; a cat's wouldn't even come close.

Sam had little to do as he rode but ponder the mystery of Jimmy Ellison. This wasn't the first time the kid had seen something that others couldn't, and he'd heard Rosie coming for a full two minutes before Sam could hear her. It was like Jimmy had a double helping of sight and hearing.

But he didn't often let it show. As a matter of fact, the times Jimmy had demonstrated his super-senses, it seemed that he wasn't aware of it, as if he didn't recognize the line between what he could do and what other people could do. If he did become aware that he'd 'crossed the line', it seemed that he was embarrassed about his super-senses, or maybe scared of them.

Sam thought about that for a few miles. What would happen to the kid if it became common knowledge that some of his senses were so far above normal? Packs of reporters and months of scientific tests would probably be the least of it; Jimmy might never have another 'normal' day of life. Given that, his instinct to hide his special abilities was probably right on target -- at least until he was older, and had some clout against people who would push too far.

Sam nodded to himself. Yep, he'd keep Jimmy Ellison's secret; the kid deserved to grow up as normal as possible. In the meantime, he'd just thank the Lord that his super-senses were available to help find one lost little boy.

Sam settled a little deeper in the saddle, riding through the night behind a young man he trusted without reservation.




Jim reined Hercules to a stop at the edge of the small clearing. The moonlight showed the scene clearly. Blair was asleep in dangerous proximity to the wolf's teeth, and the wolf herself was already aware of them; her head was up and her ears were pricked as she looked toward the men and horses.

Sam pulled up beside him. "What's the matter, Jimmy? Have you lost the trail?"

"No; look." Jim pointed toward the rocky outcropping. "The wolf is between those two rocks, and Blair's asleep next to her."

Sam squinted, then shrugged. "I'll take your word for it, Jimmy. When you said you had good night vision, you weren't just whistling Dixie; all I can see is the rocks. But let's go get him." He picked up the reins to urge Sampson forward.

"Wait!" Jim grabbed his arm, speaking quickly to forestall objections. "The wolf knows we're here, and she seems wary. If she feels threatened, she might react by attacking whatever is close -- and that's Blair. It might be better if we move back a little, so she'll relax, and wait till Blair wakes up. When he moves out of striking distance, we can call him away from her, and then figure out what comes next."

Sam chewed a lip as he considered Jim's suggestion. The idea of leaving the kid alone for several more hours rankled. "Why don't we call him instead? Maybe we can wake him up."

Jim surveyed the intervening distance dubiously. "I'm not sure we can shout that loud, but it's worth a try." He watched for a reaction while Sam took a deep breath and bellowed, "BLAIR! HEY, BLAIR!! WAKE UP, KID!"

"Stop!" Jim said urgently. "Blair's still sleeping like a log, but the wolf is getting agitated; she's staring our way and growling. I think she thinks she's protecting him, but we still can't be sure what she'll do if she gets stressed enough."

Sam subsided. The night was mild and dry; Blair wasn't in danger of hypothermia and, if the wolf hadn't attacked him yet, she was unlikely to do so now -- provided she wasn't pushed into a reaction by their presence. He nodded his agreement.

"Okay, Jimmy; I guess we'll go with your first suggestion." He turned Sampson around. "See if you can find a spot that's far enough away for the wolf to relax, but close enough that you can still see her between the trees. It'll be up to you to keep an eye on things, so we can get there quickly if something goes wrong."

It took just a few minutes for Jim to find a small patch of grass growing in the clear space left by a fallen tree, about fifty yards back from the edge of the clearing where wolf and boy waited. Sam removed the horses' bridles and staked them out to graze, while Jim found a good vantage point to watch Blair and his wolf.

The wolf seemed more relaxed now; she had laid her head down on her paws, though her ears remained pricked in their direction; Jim decided their retreat had been the correct action. He reported the developments to Sam, then sat down with his back against a convenient tree trunk. Sam settled against the neighboring tree. It was still several hours till dawn; he could help Jim stay awake, at least, even if he couldn't help watch the wolf and boy.

Conversation was sporadic, prompted by a need to help each other stay awake. Sam shared anecdotes about the Olympic games he'd attended, which Jim countered with analyses of football games he'd played. But Jim's thoughts were constantly with Blair and the wolf.

"I know why Blair's hung up on the wolf," he said reflectively. "He loves animals -- any animals -- and he thinks the wolf is just a kind of super-dog. But Blair's lying right next to the wolf -- he's even holding on to a bit of her fur -- and she's tolerating it. What would make a wild animal react like that?"

Sam shrugged easily. "Most animals are completely tuned in to the unconscious body language of the other animals they meet; it's a matter of their survival. Two horse trainers can use the exact same techniques, and get very different results because the horses recognize one man as more aggressive and the other man as more accommodating, and respond accordingly.

"That wolf can tell that Blair has only the best intentions. And it helps that he's just a kid; the young of any species tend to be given more leeway, more acceptance of any harmless mistakes."

"And I suppose she recognizes his scent, from those doggie biscuits he drops for her," Jim suggested.

"That too," Sam agreed. "There're a lot factors that add up to that kid being the luckiest little tyke alive. What gets me is how Blair knew the wolf needed help, and how he found her, way out here."

Jim shifted uneasily. "That is weird. You don't suppose he really had a vision, do you?"

Sam shook his head. "That's a good question. There're a lot of people and cultures that believe in visions. It's not likely that they're all trying to bamboozle their followers, so I suppose it's real some of the time. And young minds are more receptive, haven't closed up with the certainty that they know how the world works."

Jim grinned; Sam could just make out the flash of his teeth in the darkness. "Well, Blair's got the most open mind of anyone I've ever known. I guess if the wolf was sending out telepathic messages or something, he'd be the most likely to pick them up."

"Truer words were never spoken," Sam chuckled. "So, what's happening now?"

"Same thing; they're just lying there together."

Sam grunted and shifted to a more comfortable position. Together, he and Jim continued watching, waiting until dawn might finally wake the sleeping child.




The sun rose early at this time of the year, launching a vibrant chorus of birdsong from the treetops. Jim roused himself from a half-doze and focused again on Blair and the wolf, while Sam used a pair of binoculars to do the same. Animal and boy were still sleeping peacefully.

"I think we should move toward the edge of the clearing, Jimmy," Sam suggested. "We'll leave the horses here; if we're careful, the wolf won't hear us, and we'll be that much closer when Blair wakes up."

That suited Jim completely; he had to fight down the urge to just run forward and snatch Blair away from the wolf. Together, he and Sam crept forward until they reached a spot just inside of the tree-line that surrounded the clearing. They sank to the ground, continuing to watch.

They had to wait another half-hour, but Blair finally rolled over and sat up. He stretched and yawned, then looked around as if suddenly remembering where he was. With a broad smile he turned to the wolf and patted her head; his, "Good morning, wolfie! Did you have a good sleep?" carried easily to Jim's ears.

With the spoken words, two little cubs bounded out of the gap between the boulders that concealed their mother's body. They pounced on Blair with tiny growls, pulling at his shirt and hair. Sam checked Jim's attempt to charge forward, and Jim quickly realized that Blair was in no danger. He rolled on the ground with the cubs, giggling and growling back at them as they wrestled together. Finally, Blair pushed them away and stood up.

"That's enough, puppies," Jim heard him say. "It's time for breakfast, an' then maybe later my friends will be here to help your mama. You wait here, an' I'll get the food." He headed toward the saddlebags, lying several yards away.

Now was his chance. Jim was past the tree-line and running toward the child before he was even aware of moving. "BLAIR!" he shouted. "CHIEF!! WE'RE HERE!"

Blair spun around, an expression of sheer joy illuminating his face. "JIMMY!" he crowed in delight, running as fast as he could toward his friend. He didn't even slow down, but leaped into Jim's open arms as soon as he was close enough.

"Jim! You came!" Blair announced with deep satisfaction. "I knew you'd come, an' you did, you came! Now you can fix my wolf."

Jim clasped Blair tightly, wanting never to let go. "Yes, buddy, I came. I'm just sorry you thought you had to come up here alone. I told you we'd come today."

"I know, but my wolf needed help faster. I gave her some food an' some water, an' I got her puppies for her, an' now you're here an' you'll fix her. I'm not big enough, but you are."

The shining trust in his eyes made Jim feel simultaneously ten feet tall and as small as a worm; what had he done to earn such regard from this special child? He cleared his throat. "We'll certainly do our best, buddy -- if she'll let us."

Blair had ignored the wolf for a moment. He turned with Jim to see her snarling in rage, scrabbling at the dirt with her front paws as she tried to free herself to defend the boy from the large human who had accosted him.

"Oh-oh," Blair said. "She doesn't like you. But I'll 'splain that you're my friend, an' then she'll be good."

"No, Blair, it's too dangerous," Sam said, dropping his saddlebags as he finally reached boys; he had let Jim outpace him in his mad dash across the clearing. "I know you made friends with her, but she's still a wild animal, and she doesn't understand that we want to help her. I brought a lot of medicine; I'll give her a shot to make her sleep, and then we'll get her out of there and fix her up. Did you find out what's wrong?"

Blair explained about the trap and the bloody leg and the log that was caught between the rocks. Sam went around behind the boulders to confirm Blair's report, while the wolf's increasingly violent snarls signified her impotent rage. Jim held Blair tight when the boy struggled to get down and reassure his 'wolfie', explaining that she was too upset right now to pay attention to her friend.

"The kid's got it right," Sam said, coming back toward them and opening his saddlebags. He pulled out a syringe and a bottle of anesthetic. "But once she's asleep, we'll be able to get her out of there. Jimmy, I can't see her body clearly in those boulders. You've seen her before; would you estimate her weight closer to sixty or seventy pounds?"

Jim played her image back in his mind. "I'd say the low sixties," he said, "maybe sixty-two or sixty-three."

"Fair enough," Sam grunted, carefully filling the syringe. Then he looked toward Blair, still in Jim's arms, who was watching apprehensively. "We'll take care of her, kid. She won't like having a shot, but then she won't feel a thing. But I'm going to need your help."

"What, Sam?" Blair asked eagerly, squirming until Jim put him down. He'd do anything to help his wolf!

"Those cubs are sitting on top of her right now; they're probably afraid because Jim and I are so big. But when I put my hand in there to give their mother a shot, they'll probably run this way. You can catch them when they come out, and then you need to hold them so they don't get in the way while I sew up their mother's leg. Can you do that for me?"

Blair nodded vigorously. "Sure I can, Sam! I'll hold 'em real tight."

Sam smiled and ruffled his hair. "I know you will, kid. So you wait here; they'll probably be running out in just a minute." He disappeared again behind the boulders, while Blair and Jim kept an eye on the front opening.

Sam's prediction was accurate; the cubs soon scurried out of their hiding place. They faced back toward the boulders with tiny growls, but their tails were between their legs in fear.

Blair slowly walked toward them, hearing Jim's cautious, "Not too close to the big wolf, Chief," behind him. He plopped himself on the grass and called, "Com'ere, puppies. You can wait with me while my friends help your mama."

Blair was a familiar creature in a world that had become confusing. The cubs scrambled into his lap, leaning into the arms that wrapped around them. Jim watched for a few moments -- even a cub could give a severe bite -- until the adult's snarls subsided under the effects of the anesthetic, allowing the cubs to quiet down as well. He said softly, "Looks like you have it under control, Chief. You take care of them while I go help Sam pull the wolf out of there."

Sam nodded as the teen came into view. "Glad you're here, Jimmy; it's going to take two of us to do this. We'll have to move the wolf and log together, so as not to damage her leg any more than it is. I'll grab her hips while you grab the log. It'll be a tight fit; I think you'll have to lie on your belly for us both to reach in there."

"Got it, Sam," Jim replied. He waited until Sam was in position, leaning into the gap with hands around the wolf's hips. Then he squirmed forward on his stomach, between Sam's wide-spread legs, and carefully pushed and twisted the log until it was parallel to the gap between the boulders and free to be pulled out.

Sam gave the count; on 'three' they both began to pull. Jim made sure to move the log in rhythm with Sam's actions; he had to keep it out of the way, so that Sam could bring out the wolf, but not move it so fast that the chain would yank the trap on the injured leg.

In just a few moments, they had the wolf free from her prison and laid on the grass. Sam cursed as he got a good look at her mangled leg. "Shit! That's criminal -- literally; it's illegal to set a leg-trap in this county. We'll take this back with us; maybe we can find out who it belongs to, and bring him up on charges."

A mess of old leaves and twigs had been caught around the spring mechanism of the trap as the wolf dragged it over the ground. Sam brushed away the detritus so that he could see what he was doing, then motioned Jim close. "This will be easier with two of us. See this ring? When I open the jaws, you slip it over that knob there; that'll keep it in the open position until we get the wolf out and close it safely. You ready? On three."

Sam forced the jaws of the trap open while Jim hovered nearby. When Sam grunted, "Now," Jim quickly slid the ring forward, locking the trap in the opened position. Sam sat back on his heels and heaved a sigh of relief. "Good job, Jimmy; those things can be tricky, even with help. Now..." He gently worked the wolf's leg free of the trap's small-toothed edges and moved her away from the immediate vicinity. Standing, he used the stick that had given some protection to the wolf's leg to prod the trigger, allowing the trap to snap shut.

"Jimmy, before we let Blair come over here... You've proved your eyesight's better than mine, and maybe your sense of touch, too?" He waited for Jim's guarded nod. "Fine. Check out that leg; see if you can tell for sure whether it's broken or not. If it is, we'll have big problems."

Obediently, Jim knelt over the wolf and ran his fingers delicately along the leg. Amazingly, he could feel the bone inside; it was undamaged. A close look at the bloody wound showed that Blair's wolf was even luckier than they had thought; the skin was torn and ragged, but there seemed to be minimal muscle or tissue damage underneath. He reported his observations to Sam with relief; Blair wouldn't be disappointed by their not being able to help his wolf.

"Great," Sam said. "Let's get the supplies and do what we can for her."

They walked around the boulders to find Blair waiting anxiously, still cuddling the cubs. He burst into speech as soon as they came into his view. "Did you get her out? Is she okay? Can you fix her? Can I watch?"

Jim hurried to his friend and knelt down to give him a hug. "Yes, yes, yes, and yes," he assured Blair. "She's out, she's not hurt too bad, she's sleeping, and Sam's going to make it all better. We came to get the medicines, and you can come and watch -- but you have to keep the cubs away while he's working."

"Okay, I can do that," Blair assured him. He struggled to rise, still clutching the cubs in his arms, until Jim grabbed one of them and took Blair's hand to pull him up. Together, the boys followed Sam back to the wolf.

At Sam's pointed finger, Blair settled into the grass where he could easily oversee his wolf's treatment. Jim placed the second cub back in his lap, briefly tousled his curls, and stepped forward to assist Sam's treatment.

Sam wrapped several layers of gauze around the wolf's muzzle. "Just in case she starts to wake up," he told the boys. "But, Jim, I expect you to keep an eye on her; if she starts to wake up, I bet you'll know it before she does. If she's coming to, give me the heads-up; we'll give her another half-dose of anesthetic to keep her under."

"You got it," Jim assured him.

Blair watched the procedure with bright-eyed interest. Aware of his audience, Sam explained each step as he and Jim washed the wound with copious amounts of water from a canteen and flooded it with hydrogen peroxide. Then, while Jim manipulated the leg for easy access, Sam stitched up the torn skin, and covered the area with a thick layer of antibiotic cream. He finished by giving the wolf a hefty shot of penicillin, patting her on the shoulder before he stood and stretched the kinks out of his back.

"Aren't you going to put on a bandage?" Blair asked. "Naomi says bandages keep the dirt out so cuts will heal better."

"Well, that works for humans," Sam told him, "but your wolf wouldn't like it at all. She'd just chew it off, and maybe hurt her leg some more. She'll keep it clean by licking it, and the cream and the shot should keep it from getting infected. Wolves have strong immune systems; chances are that she'll be just fine -- and that's thanks to you. If you hadn't brought us out here so soon, it would've been a lot worse. She'll probably be able to walk on it in just a few days." Blair glowed with satisfaction, until Sam raised a stern finger. "But," he insisted, "the next time something like this happens, you don't go off by yourself; you tell an adult. You got that?"

Blair nodded soberly, but couldn't resist a protest. "I tried. I told you an' I told Jim, but you wouldn't listen! An' my wolf needed help! I had to come!"

"You're right; we were wrong not to listen to you," Sam agreed. He squatted in front of Blair, facing him eye-to-eye. "But you were wrong to take off by yourself, even though it turned out okay; you need to be older, and have more experience, before you pull a stunt like this. So if Jimmy and I promise to pay attention to you next time, will you promise not to tackle a big problem by yourself?"

"I promise, Sam; cross my heart," Blair assured him, drawing a big 'X' on his chest. "But now what will happen to my wolfie? I don't think she should stay here; some bad animal might find her an' hurt her."

Jim hadn't liked to see Blair's reprimand, mild though it had been, and even though he realized it was necessary. He jumped in to break the moment. "I've been thinking about that. Blair, where did the cubs come from? Were they with their mother, or did you bring them from somewhere else?"

"They were up there, in a little cave." Blair pointed toward the rock formation above.

Jim and Sam both turned to see where Blair was pointing, evaluating the route up over the rough ground. Sam was impressed. "You climbed all the way up there?"

"O' course! I had to; the puppies had to be with their mama, an' she couldn't get to them." Blair punctuated his statement with a firm nod. It was obvious that, in his world, there'd been no other options.

"What do you think?" Jim asked Sam. "We could carry her and the cubs up; they'd probably be safer there, and it's likely the rest of the pack would bring her game until her leg heals."

Sam scratched his head as he stared upward, then glanced at the animal. "Well, it'll be quite a trek carrying a wolf, but it's probably the best solution."

"Jim can carry my wolfie," Blair asserted. "He's strong!"

Sam raised an amused eyebrow. "I guess you're elected."

"Well, I suppose she can't be much heavier than a backpack full of textbooks," Jim replied with a dramatic sigh. But when he saw the worried expression cross Blair's face, he hurried to reassure the boy. "Hey, I'm just teasing, Chief. I can carry her up there, no sweat."

"Oh, good." Blair's voice expressed his relief. "An' I'll carry the puppies, an' Sam can wait here and rest."

"Think again, kid," Sam said gruffly. "Going up will be harder than coming down, and Mr. Madison would skin me alive if I allowed you to be hurt after we found you safe. So you carry one and I'll carry one, and we'll all go up together."

Blair frowned at him. "Uncle Trevor wouldn't do that! He's a nice man, an' I'll tell him it wasn't your fault."

Sam chuckled. The kid was so knowledgeable about so many things, and so independent, that he sometimes forgot Blair still retained the literalness of a child. "Now I'm the one who's teasing," he explained. "That's just a silly way of saying Mr. Madison would be upset; I know he wouldn't really hurt me. But I'm still going with you and Jimmy; it'll just be easier if we share the work."

"Okay, we can do that. An' then I can bring the baloney and water, too. My wolfie didn't have breakfast; she can have it when she wakes up. Here; you hold the puppies." Blair waited until Sam had a hand on each cub, then trotted to his saddlebags. He pulled out the lunchmeat and the half-glass of water, as well as his own canteen. Returning to the little group, he announced, "I can let her have my water, too, 'cause we'll be home soon."

Jim took the canteen from Blair and made a show of studying it critically. "Well, it's a good idea, Chief, but I don't think she can use the canteen or the glass. How did you give her the water before?"

"I put it in the plastic from the meatloaf, but now it's all tangled an' stuck. I forgot to bring a bowl. Did you bring one?" He looked up confidently; Jim could solve any problem.

"I'm sorry, Chief, I didn't think of it, either," Jim said gently. "Maybe Sam packed something in with the supplies." Two pair of eyes focused hopefully on the older man.

Sam sighed and gave in. "I brought an old saucepan and a container of Sadie's beef stew, just in case we were out long enough to need food. I guess we can turn it into a wolf water-bowl. But it's with the other supplies, where we left the horses. You boys can go fetch it; this old man will be doing enough walking today." He grinned, to take the sting out of the mild complaint.

"We can do that, can't we, Jim?" Blair turned to Sam, still holding the wolf cubs. "Will you take care of the puppies till we get back?"

"I have a better idea; we'll just put them next to their mama. They'll stay with her," Sam said, matching actions to words. The cubs settled next to their mother and began to nurse.

Jim and Blair soon returned with the saucepan and, after a short discussion, they started their trek to the wolf-cave. Sam helped Jim hoist the limp body of the still-sleeping adult across his shoulders where he could carry her weight comfortably, her legs hanging down his chest like an old-fashioned ladies' mink stole. Blair carried one cub cradled in his arms, with the canteen hanging from his belt. Sam was able to tuck his cub under one arm, and carry the saucepan, package of bologna and glass of water with the other hand.

Blair led them on the same zigzag route he'd traveled the first time, but an armful of healthy wolf-cub made the climb more difficult than his previous trip. Jim stayed close, giving him a hand now and then. With the wolf on his shoulders, his own balance was a little precarious, but his athletically-tuned reflexes helped him adjust. Even so, he was breathing somewhat heavily by the time they reached the level of the cave, as were Blair and Sam. The cubs squirmed increasingly during the last part of the hike, necessitating that their guardians expend extra effort to navigate the trail.

"There it is!" Blair finally announced, pointing toward the low overhang. He and Sam stooped to release the cubs -- they wouldn't go far -- and Sam stepped over to help Jim ease the wolf to the ground.

"She's starting to wake up," Jim reported. "We better check out that cave and get her in there, or should we just leave her out here?"

"Cave!" Blair insisted. "So she won't get too hot in the sun, an' can stay dry if it rains."

"Cave it is," Sam agreed. He picked up a couple of loose stones and tossed them into the dark recesses, trying to ensure that there were no wild animals currently inside.

Jim's voice was amused. "Uh, Sam? I could've told you there's nothing in there -- nothing alive anyway."

Sam paused in the middle of reaching for a few more stones and turned a thoughtful gaze toward Jim. "Again, I'll have to take your word for it; I don't know how much you can see and hear. But I appreciate the confirmation. Let's take a look inside."

It wasn't much -- an indentation about ten feet deep into the rocky hillside, extending about twenty feet along the face of a low cliff, with brush growing in front that made it hard to see from the outside. A small area between the back wall and an outthrust boulder had collected a layer of dead leaves and pine needles that probably blew in during autumn storms; Jim pointed out bits of rabbit fur and small pieces of bone that indicated it was the wolf's 'family area'.

"Hunh!" Sam grunted. "I'd expect a more protected spot -- something dug deep, and harder for predators to get into. But maybe this is her first litter. She'll probably look for a better place next year."

Jim went back for the wolf and carried her inside. Following Blair's specific directions, he placed her in a comfortable position on the cushioning leaves, and unwrapped the gauze from her muzzle. The cubs, who had followed Blair's coaxing voice as he followed Jim, curled up at their mother's side and prepared to take a nap.

Blair studied the arrangement critically, and was satisfied. "Good! Now let's put the bologna an' water right by her nose, so she can have it when she wakes up." He pulled his belt loose so that he could free the canteen.

"That's not a good idea," Sam said. "If an animal -- or a person -- eats or drinks too soon after waking up from anesthesia, it'll likely make them sick. You wouldn't want her to eat and then vomit it up; it'll just be wasted, and won't help her get well."

Blair nodded. "That makes sense. But then, where should we put it?"

After some discussion, they chose a spot about ten feet away from the wolf. "If she's awake enough to get this far, she'll probably be awake enough that it won't make her sick," Sam explained.

Blair unwrapped the bologna and placed it on a convenient ledge; it would be out of the cubs' reach, but not the adult's. Jim settled the saucepan on the ground below the little ledge, and surrounded it with fist-sized stones to help prevent it being accidentally spilled. Blair carefully filled it to the brim, emptying the wolf's half-glass and most of his canteen. He stepped back to survey the layout. "Okay, I guess we're done."

"Good," Sam said. "Now let's head on home; your mother's probably worried sick, and driving Mr. Madison crazy."

"Just let me say goodbye," Blair said. He hurried toward the wolf, but slowed at Jim's, "Easy, Chief; don't startle her." He finished his approach carefully, hand outstretched to let her recognize his scent, then scratched her on the head one more time.

"We gotta go, Wolfie," he said. "But Sam fixed you up real good, an' we brought you home, an' you have food an' water, so you'll be okay. Jim says your wolf-friends will bring you more food, an' if they don't, I will." Blair turned expectant eyes toward his friend. "We can come back, right?"

Jim couldn't disappoint the hopeful child. "Sure we can, Chief. How about... Tuesdays and Fridays, if it'll fit into the training schedule." He cast an inquiring glance toward Sam, who simply shrugged.

"Sure, we can work it out. But now let's get out of here; she'll be more relaxed if we're not around when she wakes up." He led the way out of the little cave, Jim and Blair following close behind.

Blair kept up a commentary on the way down the hill, discussing the care of the wolf, the health of her babies, Sam's expertise as a doctor, Jim's skill at finding him and his strength at carrying the wolf so far. But once they were on the horses and headed home, he fell uncharacteristically silent.

"Feeling a little tired, there, Chief?" Jim asked with mild amusement.

"Uh-huh," Blair admitted. "Maybe I'll take a nap when I get home."

"Well, you deserve it. Rescue work is a tough job. You did good, Chief."

Blair basked in the glow of being praised by his hero. The satisfied feeling accompanied him all the way home and into his bed.




By the next morning, Blair was fully recovered, chattering happily as he and Jim saddled their horses, and making plans to visit his 'wolfie' the following day. "I'll take her some doggie treats, an' Sadie says she'll make a meatloaf for me, an' I can take the whole thing to her. Even if the other wolves are bringing her rabbits, she really liked Sadie's meatloaf, so that will be a good present, won't it?"

Jim smiled as he stepped forward to tighten the girth of Rosie's saddle. "That will be a great present, Chief; I'm sure she'll appreciate it." He patted Rosie's neck and stepped back. "So, are you ready to ride?"

"Yep." Blair buckled his helmet securely. "Sam says he'll let me try some in-and-outs today; that'll be fun!" Together, they led the horses toward the practice arena.

Jim evaluated Blair's skills as he rode the pattern Sam had specified. The weeks of riding with Jim, in all terrains and over any available obstacle, had given Blair a confidence and security in the saddle equal to riders with several years' experience. Nothing fazed him; even the in-and-outs -- a series of obstacles spaced so closely that the horse landed from one jump and took off for the next in the following stride -- were achieved with no reaction other than delighted crows of accomplishment from the child. No doubt about it; the kid was good. He might even take a ribbon in the junior classes.

Jim frowned as he considered that idea. Blair was wildly enthusiastic about Jim's upcoming steeplechase, and confidently expected him to take the trophy. But the big race was just part of the three-day gala weekend; there would be horsemanship classes of all kinds, geared to several different levels of horse and rider experience. Yet Blair hadn't even mentioned the possibility that he might enter a few classes. That seemed... unfair, somehow. Jim was certain Blair would enjoy the experience, even if he didn't win. He'd have to suggest it to him; the kid deserved to have the thrill of competing.

But now it was his turn. Jim helped Sam raise the height of the jumps, and then he and Hercules were flying around the course. Despite his concentration, Jim heard Blair's cheers each time they cleared an obstacle. Not that he had any difficulty. The weeks that had improved Blair's riding had also enhanced Jim's skills; he and Hercules responded as a unit, each knowing exactly what the other needed.

After they cleared the final obstacle, Jim slowed Hercules, a broad smile of satisfaction on his face. He headed toward Sam and Blair, waiting by the fence.

"Looking good, Jimmy," Sam said, approvingly. "You're already at the level I expected you to hit the week before the race. All you need to do now is maintain it -- trail-rides, mostly..." He grinned as Blair bounced beside him with an excited squeak, "...and just enough jumping and work on responsiveness in the arena to keep the fine-tuning. For now, rub down the horses and turn them out, then come on up to lunch."

Jim sniffed deeply, then grinned conspiratorially at Sam as he said, "Fried chicken and mashed potatoes, Chief; I think we should hurry."

"Yay! Sadie makes the bestest fried chicken!" Blair kissed to Rosie and led the way to the stables.




Jim finished buckling his saddlebags behind the saddle, and looked up to check Blair's progress. "It's a long trek up and back, Chief; are you sure you have everything?"

"Uh-huh." Blair nodded vigorously, patting his own saddlebags. "Water an' san'wiches for me, an' treats an' meatloaf for Wolfie."

"Just like the cavalry," Jim grinned. "Okay, Chief, mount up and move 'em out!"

Giggling softly, Blair quickly used the fence to scramble into the saddle, then followed Jim out of the stableyard and toward the wolf's den.

Though it was early, the late summer sun was promising a hot day; they'd welcome the shade once they entered the tree-growth. As always, Blair kept up a steady stream of commentary, discussing the various types of crops that grew on surrounding farms, when they'd be ready for harvest, what types of machines were used, and where the produce would be sold. "Uncle Trevor says there's nothing so sweet as an apple that ripens on the tree. He says the tree in his garden will be ready in about a week, an' he'll let me pick some an' find out for myself. An' Sadie says she'll show me how to make a n'apple pie with real apples off the tree, not the kind that comes in cans."

"You're in for a treat, Chief. Sally always gets fresh apples from the farmers' market and makes the uncanned kind of pies at this time of the year; they really are something special."

"Yep. An' Marcella says she'll show me where there's some wild blueberry vines not too far away, an' if I pick a bunch, we can have vanilla ice cream an' blueberries. But she says I gotta watch out real careful an' stay away if I see any bears, 'cause bears like blueberries, too. Did you know that?"

"I knew that, Chief," Jim assured him, gravely. "I'll tell you who else likes blueberries." He winked at Blair's round eyes. "Turns out, I'm rather fond of them myself, and I know Sally would like me to bring some home. So you name the day, and I'll show up to help you pick blueberries. What d'ya say?"

Blair's smile couldn't have grown any wider. "I say, 'right on, man!'" he declared enthusiastically, then frowned slightly when Jim laughed heartily. "Wasn't that right? It's what Naomi says, sometimes."

Jim throttled his laughter; Blair would be mightily offended to be called 'cute'. "No, you got it right, Chief. I was just a little surprised because I never heard you use that expression before. But it is a good one; I can see why you like it."

Blair's frown dissipated. "Uh-huh, Naomi says a lot of good things, but sometimes I don't un'erstand all of 'em."

"You will, when you get a little older," Jim assured him. "But there's something else that surprises me, Chief. How come you haven't signed up for any of the events during the Labor Day Horseshow? You're a good rider; I think you might even win a ribbon, and I know you'd have a lot of fun."

Blair's eyes grew round with astonishment. "But I can't jump over the giant fences like you an' Hercules! I'm not big enough, yet."

It was Jim's turn to feel astonished; had no one explained the possibilities to the kid? "Blair, it's not all giant fences like the steeplechase. There're classes with low fences, and classes with no fences, and classes just for people who've only been riding a little while, like you."

"Really?" Blair squeaked. "Wow!" He fell silent, apparently pondering his options. Then, "How many are you gonna do?"

"Just the steeplechase; my old man wants to be sure that Hercules isn't tired out before the big day." The touch of bitterness in his voice went unnoticed by Blair; whatever Jim decided was automatically a good thing.

"Then I'll only be in one class, too," he declared. "I don't want Rosie to get tired out, either." Blair leaned forward to stroke the mare's neck. "Will you help me pick a good class?"

"Sure thing, buddy; just as soon as we get back. But right now, look where we are." Jim reined Hercules to a halt in the same grassy area where he'd waited two days before, while keeping an eye on Blair and his wolf. "Let's tie the horses here while we check on your 'wolfie'."

Together, they tied the horses to graze, then Jim loosened the cinches. Each carrying a pair of saddlebags, they headed toward the rocky outcrop that hid the wolf's den.

Just as they reached the edge of the trees, Jim caught a flash of movement. He grabbed Blair's arm to prevent him going forward. "Wait a minute, Chief; do you see that?" He pointed outward.

Blair squinted, unsuccessfully. "Nuh-uh; what?"

"Maybe if you're higher; I'll lift you up." Jim grabbed Blair around the waist and settled the boy on his shoulders, then pointed again. "Going up the hillside; can you see it?"

Blair peered intently, then squeaked in excitement. "Something gray, and it's moving!"

"Yep. It's a wolf -- not your wolfie, a male wolf -- and he's carrying a rabbit toward your wolfie's cave. I told you her pack would take care of her." Jim set Blair down on the ground. "We shouldn't bother them while they're eating. So why don't we have our lunch right here, and then we'll scope out the situation again when we're finished."

"That makes sense," Blair said, agreeably, folding his legs to plop down onto the soft pine mulch, and opening his saddlebags. Jim joined him, and they munched companionably on their sandwiches while Jim kept an eye on the den area and reported developments -- the wolf moved out onto the ledge, putting partial weight on her bad leg, the wolf and cubs were sharing the rabbit, the big male wolf was leaving, the wolf was licking her injured leg while the cubs gnawed on rabbit bones. Blair listened to the news with satisfaction; now he had proof that his wolfie would get better.

As soon as he swallowed the last bite of his sandwich and stuffed the wrappings back into the saddlebag, Blair bounced to his feet. "I'm ready!" he announced. "Let's take our stuff to Wolfie." He grabbed the wrapped meatloaf from the other saddlebag, as well as a plastic bag of doggie treats, and frowned impatiently at Jim. "Com'on!" he insisted. "So the other wolf won't get them!"

"Take it easy, Chief," Jim advised with a smile as stood and stretched. "He has four legs, and we only have two; if he wants to beat us up there, he will, and there's no sense in knocking ourselves out. Besides, don't you think your wolfie would like to share with her friend? It would be a nice 'thank you' after he brought her a rabbit."

Blair considered that suggestion, head cocked to one side, then nodded firmly. "You're right. We can even break the meatloaf into pieces, so it'll be easier to share. But let's go!"

Jim watched as Blair darted across the clearing toward the rocky outcropping, and followed at a more leisurely pace. The kid obviously needed to expend some energy; he'd moderate his pace once they began climbing.

Just before they reached the level of the wolf's ledge, Jim grabbed one of Blair's arms, bringing him to a halt. "Hold on, Chief; I need to explain something. Sit down for a minute." He pointed to a handy boulder just a few steps away.

Blair looked up at him in puzzlement, then shrugged and sat down; if Jim had something to say it must be important. "Okay." He waited.

Jim squatted in front of his little friend and took a deep breath. He suspected that Blair might not like what he had to say.

"It's like this, Chief. You helped your wolfie, and she let you, because she needed the help. And I know she's grateful to you. But she's still a wild animal; now that she can move, she won't let you pet her or the cubs."

"But... but... she knows me; it'll be okay if I pet her," Blair objected.

Jim shook his head gravely. "Blair, her whole life, she's learned to stay away from humans. And that helps to protect her. If she wasn't afraid of humans, she'd go to their farms and kill their sheep or chickens for food, and then the farmers would hunt her and kill her.

"If you really tried, she might let you pet her, but then that'll teach her that maybe she doesn't have to stay away from humans, and that will put her in danger. It was special, the way you helped her, but now the best way to keep helping her is to leave her alone."

Blair sniffled as he stared at the toes of his boots, considering Jim's words. "Okay," he agreed with a small, sad voice, still not looking at Jim. "But can I pet the puppies?"

Jim shook his head again. "It's the same deal," he said gently, "but even more so. The cubs are young enough that they might think one nice human -- you -- means all humans are nice. If they tried to say 'hi' to somebody else, they could be in a lot of trouble. And I know you wouldn't want that."

"No, I guess not." Blair's voice was even smaller, and he sniffled again in disappointment while he grappled with these unwelcome ideas.

Jim waited patiently, patting Blair's knee in consolation. It was a difficult concept for a child, but the kid was smart, and generous-hearted; he'd want to do what was best for the wolf and her cubs.

Blair heaved a deep sigh and finally looked up at his friend. "But we can still leave the meatloaf an' treats, right?" he asked anxiously. Surely they hadn't come so far for nothing.

"Of course we can!" Jim injected as much cheerfulness into his voice as he could. "Your wolfie is walking already; we'll just leave everything at this end of the ledge and go away, and she'll be able to come get it after we've left." He stood and held out a hand to his friend.

Blair slid off the boulder and clasped the offered hand. Together, they walked the last few yards to reach the wolf's ledge.

If Blair had hoped that his wolfie would prove Jim wrong, he was disappointed. Hearing them approach, she had retreated to the far end of the ledge, her cubs tucked safely behind her. As the boys appeared, she growled softly -- a warning, rather than an overt threat, but a clear indication that she wasn't prepared to tolerate too great an incursion into her territory.

"Hi, Wolfie," Blair said softly. He stooped and emptied the plastic bag of doggie treats onto the ground, then unwrapped the meatloaf and laid it beside the treats. "I brought you a present 'cause I thought you might be hungry, but I guess if your friend-wolf is bringing you rabbits, you'll be okay. But you can have these anyway, an' even share with the other wolves if you want. I'm real glad your leg is getting better; I guess pretty soon you'll be able to do your own hunting again.

"Jim says you have to stay afraid of humans so you'll stay safe, so we won't bother you anymore. But you stay away from traps, okay? An' teach your puppies to stay away, too." The wolf was watching, ears pricked and no longer growling, with the cubs peering at the boys over their mother's back. Blair smiled tremulously at this evidence that she wasn't too scared of him, and waved. "Bye, wolfies," he whispered, then turned and headed down the hill.

Jim joined him, once again clasping the small hand in his large one, his thumb stroking over the knuckles in silent comfort and support. "You did good, Chief," he said softly. "That was a brave thing, and you did real good."

Blair tightened his grip in gratitude, but didn't say anything all the way down the hill. As they reached the level floor of the clearing, he seemed to come to some conclusion. "I guess if she has to stay scared, I can't bring her any more food, huh?"


"I think it would be a good idea not to, Chief."

"But can we still come an' see if she's okay?"

"Every Tuesday and Friday, just like I promised," Jim assured him. "But I think we should stay down here, and do a long-distance observation. I have a pair of binoculars I'll bring, so you can see her yourself."

Blair brightened a little at that information. "Binoculars? I never got to use those before; cool!" He bounced in increasing excitement and looked up at his friend. "Hey, Jim! Who do you think can see better? Me with the binoculars, or you with your own eyes?"

Jim smiled down at the excited boy, congratulating himself on a successful -- albeit unintended -- diversion. "I don't know, Chief. Maybe we can find a way to test it."

"You mean like a 'speriment? Cool!" Blair's enthusiasm for the idea carried him back to the horses and all the way home, while he speculated on possible 'speriments' they could use to test each of Jim's senses.

Jim listened in mild dismay. He was grateful that Blair had moved away from his wolf disappointment so easily, but some of the kid's proposed tests sounded uncomfortable at best, outrageous at worst, and mostly improbable. Where did such a little guy get such a wide-ranging imagination? He could only hope that the concentration of preparing for the upcoming horseshow would distract his 'junior scientist' from the anticipated 'speriments'.




Jim entered the stable, immediately focusing on Blair's energetic figure halfway down the aisle. As early as he was, the kid was already fussing with Rosie, giving a few extra strokes with the brush and the satin cloth to give her coat its best possible shine.

"Hi, Jim!" Blair called as his friend approached. "Doesn't Rosie look pretty? An' see; Marcella even let me help braid her mane."

Jim easily recognized the difference between Marcella's neatly-braided strands and Blair's less-experienced efforts, but it wouldn't be seen from the judges' stand, and the kid was so proud. "She looks mighty good, Chief," he assured Blair, "and so do you. Like a real professional showman."

"Are you sure?" Blair looked critically at his black coat and silver-gray breeches. "They're Cindy's, you know, but she's getting bigger and she can't wear them anymore. An' Naomi says there's no sense buying new things when old things are perfectly useful, an' it was very nice of Cindy to let me use them. But they're still --" his voice dropped to a disgusted whisper, "-- a girl's!"

Jim's lip twitched as he nobly refrained from laughing. "Well, that's one good thing about horse shows, Chief; boys and girls wear the same clothes, so no one can tell. You look just fine; you'll do Rosie proud."

Actually, the coat was noticeably a size large, and the breeches a bit loose, but appearance was unimportant in the Novice Rider, Jumper class Blair had decided -- with a little judicious advice from Jim and Sam -- to enter. Stylistic points would not add to or detract from his score, as they would have in a Hunter class; all a rider had to do was take the horse around the course without knocking down any rails. The maximum height of two feet, six inches was well within Blair's experience level; Jim expected that he'd have no difficulty in riding a clear round.

Outside, the band started playing; in effect, the half-hour warning before the first class, which was Blair's. "It's almost time, Chief. We need to finish saddling Rosie and get you out in the practice ring to let her warm up." He stepped forward to lend his customary hand in tightening the cinch, then cupped his hands to boost Blair into the saddle. When Blair would have protested, he just winked. "No fence-climbing today; you don't want to get your fancy togs all smudged. Up you go!" Blair accepted Jim's reasoning, stepped into Jim's linked hands as if into a stirrup, and was lifted smoothly and easily into the saddle.

Jim glanced at the sky as they exited the stable. The day would be warm, but there was a moderate overcast. No chance of rain, according to the weathermen and Jim's sense of smell, but the clouds would help prevent the day from being unbearably hot for horses and riders.

As Jim watched Blair walk and trot around the ring, practicing direction changes, he reflected that being in the first class worked out even better than they'd planned; Blair would finish his part early, with less time to stress about it, then be able to enjoy the rest of the weekend. The more advanced classes, with more experienced riders and bigger, more complex jumps, would be later this afternoon, dressage classes tomorrow, and the steeplechase on Sunday.

The music ceased, and the announcer went into his spiel. "Ladies and Gentlemen! We welcome you to the tenth annual Cascade Regional Horseshow! This weekend, we have some of the finest horses and best riders west of the Rocky Mountains. The first class will begin in just a few minutes, so sit back and prepare to enjoy the show.

"Riders, please make your way to the starting gate, and wait until the steward signals you into the arena."


The microphone clicked off, and the band started playing again. "That means you, Chief," Jim called. He opened the gate as Rosie trotted forward, then walked beside Blair as he rode toward the main arena. Jim kept a wary eye on the horse; some became nervous at the brightly-colored flags flapping in the breeze and the noise of the crowd and band. Rosie, however, merely flicked an ear at the noisy, colorful commotion and then ignored it, like the seasoned trouper she was.

Blair wasn't quite as calm, though he masked it well. "It's okay, Rosie," he was crooning softly. "I know you'll do good, but it doesn't matter. It's just like a game, an' only one person can win, but we all can have fun." He patted the horse's neck soothingly, and Jim realized Blair's pep talk was as much for himself as for Rosie.

"That's exactly right, Chief," he said gently. "You're just here for a good time, and to let all these people see what a great horse Rosie is. Just going out there makes you a winner in my book." Blair's grateful smile let him know he had said the right thing.

They reached the waiting area outside the entrance gate, lining up with the others to wait for Blair's turn in the arena. Together, they watched the initial riders complete the course. The first knocked down a rail, for four faults. The second had a clear round, as did the third. The fourth knocked down a rail and touched a hoof inside the boundary of the water jump with a noticeable splash, accumulating eight faults. Then it was Blair's turn.

Jim had his fingers crossed as the starting horn sounded and Blair urged Rosie forward. It was childish, maybe, but it couldn't hurt. He leaned forward as the pair headed for the water jump; that one was always a little harder to judge than vertical rails, but Rosie cleared it easily and swept onward. Jim saw Blair's wide grin as Rosie jumped nimbly through his favorite, the in-and-outs. This set was low, a test of skill rather than effort, and Blair rode it perfectly. Then forward over the final jumps, and Blair and Rosie crossed the finish line with no faults -- another clear round.

Jim relaxed. With three clear rounds so far, and probably a few more to come, there'd be a timed jump-off later, to determine the final winners. But the top six riders in the jump-off would get a ribbon, so Blair was almost certain to finish his class with some kind of prize. He walked around to the exit gate, to be there when Blair came out.

"We did it, Jim, we really did it!" Blair announced proudly as he slipped from the saddle and into a fervent hug.

"You sure did, Chief; I'm so proud of you!" He set Blair on his feet, patting a shoulder because he couldn't tousle the curls under the helmet. "Now let's go watch the rest of the riders till it's time for the jump-off round; you'll be in that, too."

Three more riders finished with clear rounds, and Jim relaxed even more. Blair was ensured of winning a ribbon now; it was just a question of which one. They watched while the assistants raised a couple of the jumps, and removed the rails from others, excluding those from the new pattern. Jim held Rosie while Blair, with other contestants, walked the course, getting a feel for the changes in distance and jumping arrangement.

As the first rider finished, Jim boosted Blair into the saddle again, then patted him on the knee. "Remember, Chief, they're checking the time for this round. You want another clear round, but you also want to go fast, if you can."

Blair nodded firmly. "I remember, Jim." As the second rider finished the course, he touched a heel to Rosie's side and moved toward the entrance gate.

Jim watched intently as Blair rode another clear round. So far, he was only 1.45 seconds behind the best time. Now to see if one of the other riders bettered that. He met Blair at the exit gate again and, together, they watched the final three riders.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the judges have tabulated the times and points. Will the riders please enter the arena to learn the results."

Jim patted Blair on the knee. "Go get 'em, Chief."

"In sixth place, with a time of one twenty-four point two-five seconds and four faults, Miss Cassandra Temple." The crowd applauded as the young girl rode forward to accept her pink ribbon. The long blonde hair was caught up in a bun now, but Jim recognized the serious little girl who had been talking to Sam at the beginning of the summer, the day he had met Blair.

"In fifth place, with a time of one twenty-two point one-zero seconds and four faults, Master Benjamin Cole." Again the crowd applauded as a lanky boy, apparently a few years older than Blair, accepted the green ribbon. Jim waited impatiently through the next announcements. He thought he'd figured Blair's result accurately, but the judges might have seen something he missed. Or rather, might have thought they'd seen something. But finally --

"In second place, with a time of one seventeen point three-five seconds and zero faults, Master Blair Sandburg." Jim wished there were a way that he could physically clap louder, as Blair reached down to clutch the red ribbon that the steward handed to him. His face was beaming as he watched the final contestant accept the blue ribbon without a trace of disappointment. "In first place, with a time of one fifteen point nine-zero seconds and zero faults, Miss Lacey Stevens.

"Congratulations to all our winners. And now, ladies and gentlemen, there will be a short intermission while the assistants prepare the arena for the next class."

As tradition dictated, the winners formed a line to gallop around the arena, their ribbons held high and fluttering, before riding through the exit gate. Blair rode directly toward Jim, waiting in plain sight. "Look, Jim! Second place! Isn't that cool?"

"Very cool, Chief; you did a good job. Now let's get Rosie rubbed down, and then we can watch the rest of the classes."

"Okay. Did you see what a good jumper she was today? An' fast too, she's a good girl." Blair reached forward to administer a loving pat. "Not as fast as Honey was, but she tried, an' that's what counts, isn't it?" Blair's enthusiasm was bubbling over; he didn't need Jim's confirmation of Rosie's overall horsy excellence. "An' I'm glad Lacey won; she's a real nice girl, an' Rosie likes Honey, too." It was important, obviously, that the winning horses like each other as well as the winning riders.

After unsaddling Rosie and rubbing her down, Blair gave her a congratulatory carrot before leading her to her stall. Jim waited till he shut the door behind her, then offered a suggestion. "It's still a little early, Chief, but the smell of the barbecue is talking to me. What d'you say we grab some eats before we watch the rest of the show?"

Blair thought it an excellent suggestion. After a short detour to fill paper plates with barbecue-beef sandwiches, potato salad, chocolate-chip cookies and lemonade, they settled into the grass under a tree opposite the grandstand to watch another horse thunder around the course. Jim was content, for now; Blair had succeeded at his 'game', and his own was still a day and a half away. He'd wait until Sunday to worry about winning the steeplechase.




Jim peered ahead through the windshield of the cab to see, as he had expected, Blair waiting impatiently at the main stable doors. As he paid the cabbie and turned to see Blair racing to meet him, the butterflies in his stomach quieted their agitated dance. Somehow, just being around the kid always made him feel better; calmer, somehow, yet -- at the same time -- more focused. He'd need every bit of that today, and made a conscious effort to soak it up and save it for later.

Blair leaped into Jim's arms, already bubbling with the excitement of the day. "I talked to Hercules," he announced. "Herc says he's feeling good today, an' he'll run real fast, an' he'll try really hard to beat the other horses so you can win."

"Well, that's about the best news you could give me," Jim said gravely. "I really appreciate you talking to him about that. Now let's go get him saddled up." He set Blair on his feet, and they headed toward Hercules' stall.

While Jim went in to halter the big horse and bring him out, Blair slipped into Rosie's stall to explain to her that she wasn't being neglected, but today was Hercules' turn to win. He promised her that they'd have a nice ride tomorrow, then gave her a consoling pat on the nose and went to join Jim at the tack room.

Jim made sure the saddle was cinched tight, and added protective leather boots to Hercules' lower legs; the strenuous exertion of a steeplechase was hard on horses' legs, and he wanted to alleviate that as much as possible. He slipped the bridle into Hercules' mouth, then turned to Blair.

"Well, Chief, maybe I'll see you down at Murphy's Meadow before we start. Is your mother driving you there?"

Blair stared up at him, eyes stricken. "I forgot it doesn't start here! An' Naomi's gone; she's having a spiritual weekend with a bunch of other people." He chewed his lip in thought. "Maybe Marcella can take me; I'll go find her an' ask." He turned to hurry away, but Jim grabbed an arm.

"Whoa, there, partner! Why go in a car when we have a perfectly good horse we can use?" He grinned as Blair's eyes flickered between him and the horse, not quite understanding. "Haven't you ever seen anyone riding double? Herc's a big, strong horse; you can sit up behind me and it won't bother him a bit." It would also give Jim time to soak up a little more of the calmness that being near Blair always produced.

Blair looked hopeful, but doubtful. "Are you sure? I don't want him to get tired."

Jim kept his snort of amusement to himself; the kid was dead serious about not wanting to interfere with Herc's -- and Jim's -- chance of winning the race. He squatted to face Blair directly as he said, "Chief, you know horses like Hercules used to carry knights in armor into battle?" Blair nodded, but his forehead creased in puzzlement. "Well, those knights in armor weighed hundreds of pounds; me and you together don't weigh one-half what they did. Hercules won't mind you riding with me, and you won't make him one bit tired."

Seeing the uncertainty lingering in Blair's eyes, Jim had an inspiration. "Tell you what, Chief; just ask him. He'll tell you if I'm right or not." Surreptitiously, Jim crossed his fingers, hoping that Blair's attack of conscience wouldn't lead him to 'hear' bad news.

Blair's expression lightened. "I can do that!" He stepped toward Hercules' head and held out a hand, kissing gently. The big horse lowered his head, snuffling into Blair's hand and then the collar of his shirt, while the boy patted his forehead and murmured into his ear. Finally, Blair looked up at Jim, eyes shining. "You're right! He says yes, I can ride with you!"

"Then we're good; grab your helmet and let's go."

It took a few minutes to untangle the logistics of simply getting the two of them on top of the same horse. Finally, Jim mounted and maneuvered Hercules next to the fence outside; Blair climbed the fence and leaped over the gap to land on Hercules' rump. As Jim felt Blair's arms settle around his waist, he reined the horse to one side and trotted down the lane.

Murphy's Meadow was almost unrecognizable as the quiet haven they'd enjoyed all summer. Flags and banners hung from ropes strung between trees, flapping gaily in the breeze. Spectators milled around talking to friends, or settled themselves on the temporary bleachers that had been erected, and the band played vigorously, belying the fact that they'd performed two extensive 'gigs' during the past two days.

Jim stopped Hercules next to an old stump, rising about two feet above the ground. "Okay, Chief; time to slide down." He grabbed Blair's arm and helped control the downward slide until Blair's feet landed firmly on the stump. "Stay out of trouble till I get back, you hear?"

"I will. An' you ride good." He patted the big horse on the neck. "Bye, Hercules; have fun." Then, with a flashing grin that assured Jim of his confidence, Blair hopped down from the stump and dashed toward the bleachers.

The loudspeaker crackled to life. "Ladies and Gentlemen! We welcome you to the final day of the tenth annual Cascade Regional Horseshow, the running of the steeplechase! Today we have twenty-two riders and horses competing over a two and a half mile course, with eighteen jumping efforts along the way.

"We have spotters at each jump, who will report the progress of the race via radio while the riders are out of our view. But the final result will be easy to discern -- the first rider to make it back and across the finish line will be the winner!

"Riders, the race will begin in ten minutes. Please make your way to the starting line, and wait for the starting pistol."


Jim moved his leg out of the way and lifted the saddle-flap to pull the cinch one hole tighter, then tightened his helmet strap, too. It wouldn't do to have anything slipping around during the race; the slightest inconvenience could made the difference between winning and losing.

He evaluated the riders already lined up, and urged Hercules toward one end of the row. It wasn't unusual for the horses in the middle of the line to bunch up during the first dozen strides; if Jim could keep clear of that, he'd gain a valuable second or two.

The world settled to an unnatural stillness, in which Jim clearly heard the starter's pistol cocked back. His readiness transmitted itself to Hercules, and the big horse leaped forward before the sound of the pistol shot had dissipated into the atmosphere. Dimly, Jim heard Blair shriek, "Go, Jim, go!" as he approached the first fence. Then there was nothing but the horse under him and the course in front of him.

Jim was flying, riding the wind on a horse that had been bred and trained to race and jump, to take the lead and keep it. It was Jim's job to control Hercules' enthusiasm, to prevent him running flat-out and expending all his energy in the first part of the race; he needed to retain sufficient power to manage the jumps toward the end of the course. Jim's job also to handle the approach to each obstacle, to ensure that Hercules reached the optimum take-off point with the optimal speed to jump cleanly and successfully over each.

His summer of riding, of spending hours with Hercules -- not just in a practice arena, but in all types of terrain under a multitude of conditions -- was paying off. Hercules' responses to Jim's adjustments were instantaneous and flawless. The slightest tightening or relaxing of his fingers on the reins elicited a decrease or increase of the big horse's speed; the minutest shift in body position was answered by a corresponding shift in direction.

The course passed swiftly under Hercules' thundering hooves. They were over the water-jump, the double-oxer, the bank jump, the hedge jump; into and out of the river, through the sand-trap, through the switchback. The final three jumps were just ahead, in view of the spectators, with the finish line just beyond.

Jim loosened his focus a little, expanding his hearing to try to judge where the other horses were. There was one on his right flank; a quick glance showed a big sorrel's nose just opposite Hercules' hip, trying to move up. He heard another on his left side, about one length back. A slight relaxation of the rein, and Hercules surged forward; a slight shift in body position and Hercules settled himself to meet the jump, and the next, and then the final obstacle, a straightforward post and rail.

As soon as Hercules landed from that effort, Jim flattened himself over the big horse's neck, giving him free rein. Hercules answered with an astonishing burst of speed after the effort he'd already expended, but the big sorrel was keeping up with him. Jim 'kissed' urgently and, incredibly, the big horse gave him a fraction more speed, thundering across the finish line one and a half lengths in front of the big sorrel, the sound of Blair's cheers ringing in his ears.




Last day of freedom, Jim thought with a nostalgic pang; school started tomorrow for both him and Blair. He smiled wryly to himself as he remembered his irritation at the beginning of the summer, his disgust with 'wasting' four mornings a week, riding. The mornings had soon become whole days, and now he wished the summer could go for another two months; he'd miss his little friend something fierce while he was in school.

But at least they'd have weekends. Jim deliberately reached for a happier mood as he stepped out of the cab to greet Blair; he didn't want anything to spoil this day together. "Hey, Chief," he called as Blair dashed toward him, "I brought lunch; Sally made meat-pies and peanut-butter cookies for us."

"Yummy!" Blair crowed. "That sounds good. Where are we gonna go today?"

Jim shrugged. "With school starting, we can't see your wolf on Tuesdays and Fridays like we've been doing; I thought we could go see her today, and then have lunch in that spot down by the river."

Blair nodded vigorously. "I like that idea; we'll have lots of fun. Com'on; Rosie an' Hercules want to go, too."

Riding the now-familiar trail up the wolf's mountain, Blair enthusiastically analyzed Jim's win of the previous day. He had thought Jim's trophy, lavishly inscribed with 'WINNER' in ornate script, and the date, must be the 'bestest in the whole world'. When he'd realized that Jim's winning time beat the course record by two full seconds, Blair had been quietly satisfied as he declared, "I knew Hercules could do it." Now he had Jim describing every obstacle, and Hercules' performance over each.

"I wanna ride a steeplechase some day; maybe I can win a trophy, too," Blair declared. "D'you think I could?"

"I'd bet on it, Chief," Jim assured him. "You're already a good rider; in a few years, you'll be the best around."

"Not better'n you, though," Blair insisted, loyally.

Jim grinned. "Well, I'll always be older, with a head start -- but you could catch up."

"Okay, that works. Then we can tie, an' they can give both of us a trophy."

They left the horses grazing in their customary place next to the fallen tree, and walked toward the edge of the meadow that held the wolf's rocky den. Jim handed Blair the binoculars, then lifted him to settle on his shoulders; they'd learned that the extra height allowed Blair to see the den area more easily.

"There they are!" Blair squeaked. "I see 'em!"

"Me, too, Chief; they're looking really good."

It was true. The mother wolf's leg had healed fully; she had a residual trace of a limp that was so slight only Jim could notice it. The cubs were almost as large as their mother, though not as heavy, and still retained their puppy playfulness. Jim and Blair watched for a while as they wrestled together, then flopped down to nap on the sunny ledge.

Jim stirred. "Okay, Chief, it's getting on toward lunchtime. Let's go back to the horses and head on down to the river." He lifted Blair off his shoulders and set him on the ground.

"Bye, wolfie! Bye, puppies!" Blair called. "Be good, and 'member to stay away from people!" He looked up at his friend. "They will be okay, won't they, Jim?"

"They'll be just fine, Chief, thanks to you for helping her when she needed it. The cubs still have a mother to help them learn to hunt and grow up big and strong, and that's the most important thing in the world for them. You did real good." He gave Blair a swift hug as they turned away from the meadow and headed toward the horses.

Once again, Jim and Blair allowed the horses to graze while they dangled their feet in the water during lunch, happily devouring the meat-pies and peanut-butter cookies. "These are real good," Blair mumbled around a mouthful of meat, vegetables and pastry. "I never had them before; d'you think Sadie could make some?"

"I don't see why not," Jim replied easily. "They're called Cornish pasties. I'll get the recipe from Sally and bring it on Saturday, and you can give it to Sadie."

"Can you come out every Saturday?" Blair asked hopefully.

"I expect so, and Sundays after church. When football practice starts, I'll have to come after that, but we go out early in the morning, so I can be here about eleven-thirty or so. At least half a day is better than nothing."

Blair nodded eagerly. "An' I'll tell you all the things I learn in school; I'm gonna study real hard so I can be as smart as you. I can do it, I know I can!"

"I believe you, Chief. In fact, I bet one day you'll be even smarter than me."

They finished their lunch, scattering the pastry crumbs for the birds to find, and mounted the horses again. Jim was reluctant for the day to end, and set a roundabout course back toward the training stable, meandering along the river and then through the trees. He listened to Blair's chatter as he pointed out the signs of the changing season, gleefully noting each tinge of red or yellow at the edges of leaves, and nests left empty of baby birds now grown.

But time was passing, and Jim was expected to be prompt for dinner. Eventually they rode into the stableyard. As they unsaddled and brushed down the horses, Blair's animation dimmed; he murmured quietly to Rosie, but hardly spoke to Jim.

They turned the horses into their stalls, and Jim used the stable phone to call a cab. As they settled onto the wooden bench in front of the stable to wait, and Jim put an arm around Blair's shoulders, squeezing gently. "Blair, it's only four days," he said softly. "And you like school; you'll have all kinds of fun stuff to tell me about on Saturday."

"Yeah, but it seems longer," Blair said, still subdued. "An' it seems like something's gonna happen. You promise you'll be here?"

"I promise, Chief; every Saturday and most Sundays. I won't let you down." After one last hug, Jim stepped into the cab, and watched Blair waving until the vehicle turned the corner. He settled back against the seat and heaved a deep sigh. Blair was right; it seemed like a long time till Saturday.




Jim was surprised that Blair wasn't waiting for him when he left the cab; the four days since they'd seen each other had really dragged. But maybe the kid was so anxious to get started that he was already saddling Rosie. Jim hurried into the stable, but there was no big gray horse with attendant little boy in view.

Maybe he was still in Rosie's stall. Jim leaned over the half-door and called, "Hey, Chief! You in there?" No answer, and he saw Rosie standing at the end of her pen, next to Hercules. Could Blair be having a late breakfast? He turned to head toward the house, and there was Sam standing just a few yards away, looking at him gravely.

"Blair's gone, Jimmy," he said gently.

"Gone! What do you mean, gone? Gone where?"

"His mother decided that the 'vibes' around here were no longer 'energetic'; she packed up herself and Blair and hightailed it out of here on Wednesday. Blair left me a letter to give to you." Sam handed him a piece of paper that had been folded over several times, with 'JIM' in big block letters on the outside.

With shaking hands, Jim unfolded the page. It was covered with awkward block-printing, in smudged pencil. He could picture Blair, hunched over the table, struggling to make paper and pencil do his bidding. He was such a little kid, after all, and Jim was aware that his first year of school had been interrupted twice with sudden moves. He suddenly had a deeper understanding of what that might mean to the kid, and wondered how hard it must be for him to keep starting over in a new place.

Reluctantly, he started to read.
Dere Jim,

Naomi says we got to move on. She says that there are new truthes to expeereeans. She says Uncle Trevor is a nice man, but he is stifuling her spirichal inlightinment.

Naomi says we should de-tatch with love, but I don't like it. You are the bestest frend I ever had, and I will remember you for ever and ever and I will miss you a hole, hole lot. I hope you will remember me too. And when I am all grone up, I will come back to Cascade and I will find you, and we can be frends agen.

I wish I could wait till Saterday and say good-bie for real, but Naomi says there is no time to wast. So Sam says he will give this lettr to you. I am glad you wun the steepulchase. The trofee is very pretty. But I want you to have my ribbun too, so you will not forget me. This is me, giving you a biiiiiiig hug.

Love,
Yure bestest frend,
Blair Sandburg
Jim fingered the little red ribbon that Blair had been so proud of, and blinked back the tears that interfered with his view of the curly-headed stick figure at the bottom of the page, a huge smile on its face and arms stretched impossibly wide.

Damn. Leave it to an adult to ruin everything, dragging a little kid all over the country just when he was happy and settled in and comfortable. Jim hoped Blair would be able to adjust soon, and viciously shoved aside his own feelings of loss and disappointment, burying them deep in his heart. It served him right for thinking he could be happy; living under his father's implacable decrees had taught him that anything he enjoyed would eventually be taken away. The deep friendship he'd felt for Blair had led him to overlook the lessons he'd learned years before. Jim felt like kicking himself for being so stupid; he should have known better than to get complacent.

"How did he look?" Jim asked, barely recognizing the hoarse voice as his own.

"About like you'd expect," Sam said soberly. "You could tell he really didn't want to go, but he took it like a little trouper; with that mother of his, I guess he's been through it all before. He said goodbye to Rosie, and left some biscuits for his wolf, that he hoped you'd give her. And he left me with two big hugs -- one for me, and one to pass on to you." He opened his arms slightly, allowing Jim to decide how far he was willing to go.

He was sixteen, dammit; he didn't need cuddling, and he sure as hell wouldn't cry. But, somehow, Jim was wrapped in Sam's arms, burying his face in his friend's shoulder. He swallowed the lump in his throat, still refusing to cry, but feeling slightly soothed as Sam patted his back.

"I know, Jimmy, I know," Sam said huskily. "I'm going to miss the little guy, too; he's definitely one of a kind. But friendship doesn't disappear just because friends are apart; he's not dead, after all, just somewhere else. And you might meet up again someday; he seemed real definite about coming back when he's 'all grown up'."

"That'll be a long time," Jim whispered hopelessly. He felt Sam shrug the shoulder under his face.

"Not so long," Sam disagreed. "Life goes on, and it passes faster'n you'd expect. You'll graduate high school, then go on to college, then find a job you like. Before you know it, ten or fifteen years'll have gone by, you'll hear a knock at your door, and Blair Sandburg will be standing there with his eyes shining and that big grin of his all over his face. He'll probably tell you you should have believed him, and then ask you how you've been and what happened to his wolf. I suggest you make up your mind to live your life so you can tell him 'fine', and keep an eye on his wolf and her cubs, so you can give him a good report about them, too. When you're an old man like me, you'll look back and realize that the separation was just a blip."

Jim pushed away from Sam's hold, sniffling and blotting his eyes on his sleeve, determinedly standing as straight and tall as he could. What Sam said wasn't completely true; he could feel deep in his heart that this separation would hurt every single day from now until it was over. But he clung to the partial truth; separations didn't have to last forever. He'd give Blair -- he did a fast mental calculation -- fourteen years. The kid would be twenty-one then; if he didn't show up on Jim's doorstep, Jim would go looking for him.

In the meantime, Sam's advice was sound. He couldn't quit living just because one little boy had been taken somewhere else. "You're right, Sam," he said quietly. "Life does go on. So, how do you want me to ride Hercules today?"

Sam cleared his throat. "I think you could both use a day of relaxation. How about you take some treats to Blair's wolf, and tell her what happened? I'm sure Blair and his wolf would appreciate it."

"You got it, Sam," Jim agreed, though privately, he wondered just how much enjoyment he'd have while riding without a certain bright little chatterbox by his side.

He made short work of brushing and saddling the big horse, then went to Blair's stash in the tack-room and grabbed a double handful of doggie biscuits, which he put into the saddlebags. Mounting up, he headed toward the wolf's mountain, and a future that he could only hope would, someday, be brightly lit once again.




Late March 1996

Blair Sandburg's heart was singing in anticipation as he walked toward the hospital treatment room. James Ellison -- it could be the 'Jim' of his childhood. He'd so long ago forgotten Jim's last name, but he'd never forgotten his 'bestest friend' with the super-senses, and the age of this patient was about right. He'd know for sure in just a moment.

But if the man was 'his' Jim, this wasn't the place for a reunion. Blair couldn't afford the time to explain here. He didn't know how much trouble he'd be in for impersonating a doctor if hospital personnel discovered his little obfuscation, but he didn't want to find out. Okay, he'd use a fake name, Doctor... Smith. No, too stereotyped. Doctor... Sanderson. No, too similar to Sandburg.

Blair caught sight of a polished blue nametag, carelessly dropped on the floor. Saved! He snatched it up, gave it a cursory glance, and pinned it to the lapel of his 'borrowed' white lab-coat as he approached the examination room.

"Detective Ellison," he said breezily as he entered the door, "I'm Doctor McKay."

The cool blue eyes regarded him suspiciously. "Your nametag says McCoy."

Blair managed some kind of cover-up babble, although he felt a jolt in the pit of his stomach. It was him, it was! Older, of course, and considerably changed, but the eyes -- Blair could still see his childhood friend in those eyes. The voice was harder now, but the tones were the same. Thank God, he'd found him at last.

"Forget the tests," Blair said earnestly. "You don't need medicine. You need information."

"What are you, an intern? Go get the doctor for me, will you, please?"

Blair's heart sank; Jim didn't remember him. Well, duh! A seven-year-old changes a lot more in twenty years than a sixteen-year-old. And I haven't even given him my real name. Gotta find a way to let him know who I really am.

"Me, I'm no one. But this man, he is." Blair forced one of his business cards into Jim's reluctant hand, anticipating some fast talking when his name sparked Jim's memory; hopefully, he could convince his old friend to wait till later for the explanations. But Jim was still staring at him suspiciously, completely ignoring the card in his hand, so Blair continued with babbling something -- anything -- that might get Jim into his own territory. "He's the only one who can truly help you. You're too far ahead of the curve for any of this techno-trash. You're a cop. See the man."

Blair left quickly, shoving aside his disappointment that Jim hadn't recognized him. This was not the time or place to force the issue; he still didn't want to be caught out by one of the real doctors. He just hoped that Jim would seek him out at Hargrove Hall. With the right name, surely he'd remember that summer, and the little kid who tagged at his heels and cheered his winning ride. If not... well, he had a last name now, and knew his job. If Jim didn't look him up in a few days, Blair wouldn't have too much trouble tracking him down.




Jim Ellison stared at the handwritten 'Blair Sandburg' on the door. His brow creased as something twitched in the dim recesses of his memory. But the music -- if you could call it that -- assaulting his eardrums prevented coherent thought. He barged through the door with little hope of being helped with his out-of-control senses, but he might as well see the quack so he could cross him off the list.

I knew something was fishy, Jim thought, easily recognizing 'Dr. McKay' despite the wannabe-hippie grunge look the kid now sported. He was certainly unimpressive, with his wild curly hair flaring around his shoulders, mis-matched vest and torn jeans; what could such a kid possibly know about his condition?

But at least he cut off the music when requested; thank God for small favors.

"Why are you in my face?" Jim asked, abruptly. He just wanted to get this over with.

This kid could do 'earnest' real well. "I just had to find some way to get you into my area here to talk."

"So talk," Jim grunted. So I can get out of this rattrap.

"Okay, um... my name is Blair Sandburg." He paused expectantly, waiting in vain for Jim to show some recognition. When none occurred, he continued talking; if he kept Jim around long enough, maybe something would jog his memory. "And I'm working on my doctorate in Anthropology and you just may be the living embodiment of my field of study. If I'm correct, Detective Ellison, you're a behavioral throwback to a pre-civilized breed of man."

The rage that swept over him drowned out the feeble whisper of awakening memory at hearing the kid's name. Jim surged to his feet, barely holding himself in check. "Are you out of your mind? You dragged me all the way over here to tell me I'm some sort of caveman?" Before he even realized what he was doing, he had slammed the little twerp into the wall and was threatening him with every possible violation he could dream up.

Surprisingly, the kid didn't even flinch, just shifted his motor-mouth into high gear. Feeling slightly ashamed of his over-reaction, Jim released the plucky little man and tried to walk away. But this Sandburg guy made sense, in a weird, twisted way; hyperactive senses just might explain what was going on with him, although the 'sentinel' shtick was straight out of the Twilight Zone. Maybe he could help Jim get the control he so desperately needed; certainly no one else had any explanation for what was happening to him.

But there was always a catch. "What's the payoff?" he asked.

Sandburg was intense. "My doctorate. I want to write about you. You're my thesis!"

No way in HELL! Jim thought as he stormed out of the cluttered office, ignoring whatever Sandburg was trying to say behind him.

As he crossed the lawn, he tried to bring his rage under control. The kid was as subtle as a bulldozer, but he wouldn't be able to write anything without permission; Jim would simply make it a point to not cross paths with him again. On the other hand, now that Sandburg had given him a clue, maybe he could find someone else who knew about this sentinel thing.

Lost in thought, Jim started across the street without paying attention to traffic. He looked up when he heard a shout, and his eye was caught by a bright red frisbee whirling through the air. It pulsed and expanded, filling his whole visual field....


The impact of hitting the pavement was shocking and disorienting; he barely grasped that he'd narrowly avoided being run down by a very large truck, and it seemed to have been Sandburg that saved him. The kid was up now and bouncing around like a cricket on crack as he proclaimed, "Wow! Oh, that really sucked, man!"

It certainly did, but it didn't make any sense. "What happened?" Jim asked.

"It was that thing I was trying to warn you about; the zone-out factor," Sandburg explained -- rather unhelpfully, as far as Jim was concerned.

Okay, he had to get a handle on his runaway senses, one way or another, and it looked like he was stuck with this Sandburg person whether he liked it or not. "Let's get out of here before I gotta answer a lot of questions. Let's go," he ordered.

Sandburg's face lit up with enthusiasm. "Let's? As in we? Oh, great, I've got some really specific ideas on how we can proceed here. Come on, let's go. Come on."

Jim followed the little powerhouse almost against his will. Why is Sandburg so damned excited about helping a complete stranger? he wondered uneasily. What the hell am I getting myself into?




Ten years of searching is over, Blair wrote in his journal a few days later. Jim Ellison is the 'Jimmy' I hung around with the summer I was seven. He doesn't remember me, though, which I suppose isn't so surprising. I mean, he hardly ever called me by my name -- I was always 'Chief' -- so I guess 'Blair Sandburg' doesn't ring a bell. And there's been a lot of water under the bridge in the last twenty years, not least of which was being stuck in the Peruvian jungle for eighteen months; talk about traumatic! I'm not surprised there are holes in his memory.

But it doesn't matter; he's allowing me to hang around and help him with the senses, which kind of helps him with his job, so that's good. I wondered, over the years, if I wasn't building him up too much, looking back through a child's eyes, but he's everything I remembered -- decent, kind, wise, good-hearted, courageous, humorous... Hurt, though. I think he's been really battered by life, and it's made him kind of suspicious and closed-down.

Which makes it even more hopeful that he's willing to tolerate the presence of a longhaired academic -- or, in his words, a neo-hippie, witch-doctor punk. <g> He even told Captain Taggart that I was his new 'partner'. Of course, ten minutes later he told me never to use that word, but I'm betting he feels the connection between us at some subliminal level.

I think this will work. If he doesn't remember our previous friendship, we can build a new one. And who knows? Maybe someday the memory of that summer will pop to the surface. Or maybe I'll break down and tell him after he's feeling a little more secure in his senses; I don't want to hit him with too much, too fast.

Funny thing, though -- he's already calling me 'Chief' again. I wonder if tiny tendrils of memory are starting to sprout?





Jim stared with satisfaction at Lash's body. He might be called on the carpet for using 'excessive force', but this madman would never again terrorize an innocent, helpless person -- and certainly not Blair.

Jim ran back up the stairs and burst through the door. He saw Blair shudder at his abrupt entrance and, despite his grogginess, feebly try to pull himself free of the chains that held him to the big dentists' chair. Jim was at his side in an instant.

"It's okay, Chief," he soothed. "It's me. Just relax; I'll have you out of there in a minute." He bent to release Blair from the abominable contraption.

Blair's head rolled weakly to the side as he attempted to focus on his friend through the effects of the drug. "Zh'm," he mumbled, "y'u c'me."

"Of course I came, buddy. Hang on; I've almost got you loose."

When the chains dropped to the floor, Jim quickly ran his hands over Blair's limbs and body, looking for any injuries. Finding none, he sighed in relief. "You're okay, Chief, except for that crap he forced into you. The ambulance will be here soon; I can hear the siren. We'll just wait here until the medics come up."

"Nooo," Blair moaned. "Ouuut..."

Jim surveyed the grim room, festooned with the tragic keepsakes of Lash's 'friends'; he could see why Blair wouldn't want to stay another minute. "You got it," he agreed. "Hang on and I'll try not to drop you." He lifted Blair from the chair, cradling him close, and smiled as he heard a faint chuckle.

"N't... baby," Blair whispered.

"No, not a baby; an injured warrior. And it's another warrior's duty and honor to care for an injured companion. So just shut up and let me do it."

"'kay." Blair's head lolled against Jim's chest, and he was already asleep by the time his rescuer reached the doorway and started down the stairs.




Jim. You came. Jim paced the hospital waiting room while he wondered what was taking the doctor so damned long. Simultaneously, he tried to put his finger on his feeling of acute déjà vu.

Jim. You came. Three simple words; why did they ring like a bell in his mind?

Jim. You came. Like he'd told Sandburg, of course he came; there'd never been a doubt, or any other choice.

"Ellison, sit!" Simon finally barked from his chair on the far side of the waiting room. "Wearing a groove in the linoleum won't make the doctor come any faster. The kid's okay; we just have to wait for the details."

Jim sank down next to his boss and scrubbed his hands over his face. "It was too damned close, Simon. If I'd've been five minutes later, he'd've been too drugged to speak, and I'd never have heard him. And you know what he said when I got to him? Barely able to make his body function, but he said, 'Jim. You came.' That's just... scary."

"Why?" Simon asked, reasonably. "He was saying that he trusts you. Would you rather he didn't trust you?"

"No, of course not. It's just..." Jim shrugged uneasily. "I dunno. Something about those words. Like I've heard 'em before."

"I'm sure you have," Simon pointed out, practically. "They're simple, common words; I'm sure someone's had an excuse to say them any number of times in the past thirty-odd years. It's not like they're a magical incantation or anything."

Jim shook his head wearily, then slumped in the chair. "But that's just it. For some reason, they feel like a magical incantation, like something really important. But I can't get a handle on it."

"Then the best thing to do is to ignore it. These things always jump out at you if you leave them alone. If the memory's that old, a few more hours -- or even days -- won't make a difference. It'll come to you eventually."

Jim was prepared to argue -- every instinct he had was screaming that this was too important to ignore -- but a doctor walked through the door marked, 'Hospital Personnel Only'. He immediately stood and approached the small gray-haired woman, Simon following a step behind. "Doctor?"

"You're here for Mr. Sandburg?" she asked, eyeing both men.

"Yes," Simon said. "Blair is Detective Ellison's partner, and they both work for me. What can you tell us?"

She nodded approvingly. "It's good news; your Mr. Sandburg is a very lucky young man. He didn't ingest enough of the trichloroethanol to have an extensive impact; he's already starting to throw off the residual effects. We'll keep him under observation for a couple of more hours, just to be on the safe side, but then he can go home."

"May we sit with him?" Jim asked.

The doctor shrugged. "There's no need; he's sleeping soundly. He'll probably be asleep more than he's awake for the next twenty-four hours."

"Please," he said intensely.

The doctor searched Jim's eyes, apparently seeing the deep need within, and nodded. "All right," she said kindly. "But don't disturb him; that's for us to do." Her eyes twinkled at Jim's amused snort. "We've put him behind a screen in the far corner of the ER; you can go on back, but stay out of the way." She nodded toward the doors.

"Thank you, doctor," Simon said. "We appreciate your care for our friend." He turned to the man next to him. "Jim, I think you can handle it from here, and I have a mess of paperwork calling my name. I'll expect to see you in by ten tomorrow morning; till then, take care of the kid."

"Thank you, Simon," Jim murmured. He hurried toward the ER.

Simon watched him disappear behind the doors and shook his head slightly, marveling at how Sandburg had become such a large part of Ellison's life in such a short time. Then he shrugged and headed toward the parking lot; his work wouldn't get done if he stood around here all day.




Sandburg resisted going to his room. "I've been sleeping for five hours Jim; I'm all slept out. I'll just sit on the couch and watch the news." Ten minutes later, he had tilted sideways and was snoring gently, his neck bent at an uncomfortable angle with his head on the armrest.

Jim smiled and put aside the broom he was using to sweep up broken glass. Moving quietly -- although it was probably unnecessary; Sandburg was out like a light -- he gently removed Blair's shoes and lifted his feet onto the couch. Then he shoved a bunched-up throw-pillow under the kid's neck, positioning it to a more normal angle, and pulled the afghan down to settle gently over his body.

Jim glanced at his watch. If Sandburg continued as he had been, he'd be awake again in a couple of hours. He'd probably be able to overcome the effects of the drug more easily if he ate a substantial meal, and Jim intended to provide it. It would be somewhat early for an evening meal but, if he waited till later, Sandburg might be asleep again, probably for the rest of the night.

For a few minutes he simply watched as Blair slept, incredibly grateful to have him back in one undamaged piece, then went to the kitchen and started preparations. Moving with his typical efficiency, he washed the sweet potatoes and put them on to boil, then mixed the orange juice, brown sugar and diced dried apricots and put them in a saucepan to simmer.

With both pans bubbling satisfactorily, he had to wait half an hour before beginning the next step, and Jim felt unusually restless. The remaining disarray in the living area was an irritation, but it was minor compared to the mental question that demanded his attention. There was something he needed to find, or discover. It was important, but hell if he knew what it was. It wasn't anything recent, he was sure; it must be something from his past, which had been boxed up for years. Most of it was down in the storage area in the basement, and he had no intention of leaving Blair alone while he went on a 'hunting' expedition. But there were a couple of small boxes in his bedroom; he might as well rule them out.

The service memorabilia in the compact wooden box brought back memories, as they did every time he opened it, but none of them answered the driving necessity Jim felt to find something important. He reached for the battered old shoebox, tied with a knotted piece of string. Jim hadn't opened it since he'd left college; he didn't even know why he hung onto it. Might as well go through it now, while he had some time. Kids kept the most worthless things; he'd probably just toss out most of the undoubtedly childish drivel.

As soon as Jim saw the little red ribbon, the memories came rushing back. With shaking hands, he unfolded the paper with the bold 'JIM' on the outside, its edges beginning to yellow with age. His eyes misted as he reread the childish scrawl.

Dere Jim,

In his mind's eye, he relived that special summer, watched a bright-eyed, excited little boy run across the meadow toward him and leap into his arms, heard the confident trust in Blair's voice. Jim! You came!

How could he have forgotten? That summer had been the best of his life, and he'd been closer to Blair than he'd ever been to anyone else, before or since. Jim smoothed the paper under his hand, reading the words again.

This is me, giving you a biiiiiiig hug.

Love,
Yure bestest frend,
Blair Sandburg


'Bestest' friend then, and quickly becoming 'best friend' now. Jim wondered if Blair knew. Had he also forgotten, or was he simply waiting until Jim recognized him? And, my God -- what combination of chance and circumstance had brought them back together? It seemed... miraculous.

Jim put the letter back in the box, but carried the ribbon when he went downstairs to continue supper preparations. Even though he had the ribbon's owner here in the loft -- and thank God for that -- he wanted to keep the tangible evidence with him. He folded the little piece of fabric and put it in his shirt pocket while he seared the pork chops, covered them with the apricot/orange sauce, and put them in the oven to bake. Then he peeled and mashed the sweet potatoes, sprinkled them with brown sugar and marshmallows, and slipped them into the oven beside the pork chops.

Supper would be ready in forty-five minutes but, if Blair wasn't stirring by then, it could be kept warm in the oven without damaging it. Jim continued setting the loft to rights, but slowly. He paused frequently to watch the sleeping Blair, searching his features for the child he'd once been. Now that he knew, Jim could see that little boy in the man he'd become -- still bright and energetic, almost frighteningly intelligent, with an unquenchable zest for life, enthusiastically greeting each new experience. He should have expected that Blair would have grown into exactly this sort of man.

Without being aware of his own actions, Jim sat on the other couch, a fond smile playing on his lips as he stared at Blair's face. Gradually, he lost himself in his memories -- the horses, the riding, the wolf-rescue, Blair's glee at winning his ribbon... and always, the deep-seated, contented companionship of one talkative and generous little boy. He felt that he'd just received an unexpected but precious gift -- his childhood best friend and the man who was dedicated to helping him master his wayward senses, rolled into one incredibly special person, and he was here. Now. Jim vowed to himself that he wouldn't lose Blair again. None of this 'only one week' crap; he'd keep Blair here for the next twenty years, if he had any say in the matter at all.

Jim began planning some improvements to Blair's room, something to give him an incentive to stay. He needed shelves for his books and anthropological keepsakes, and a real door instead of that old curtain. And there was no reason that Blair couldn't move some of those keepsakes out here into the main room, if he chose; this was his home, too.

Gradually, he became aware of a change; Blair's heartbeat and respiration had increased. Jim opened his eyes to see Blair watching him, looking more alert than he had since he'd been drugged.

Blair smiled when he saw Jim's eyes focus on him. "Hey, man; you okay? You got a headache, or your senses acting up?"

"I'm fine, Chief; just remembering some things. How about you? Are you getting that crap out of your system?"

Blair tossed the afghan to the side, sat up, and stretched mightily. "Yeah, I think so; I feel pretty much back to normal. If nothing else, I'll manage to stay awake for supper; whatever it is, it smells delicious."

"Your timing is impeccable; it'll be ready in five minutes. Why don't you wash up while I set the table and put it out."

With one last stretch, Blair rose and headed toward the bathroom. "Sounds like a plan."




Inevitably, the conversation over the meal became a mutual debriefing session. Blair's eyes glowed as Jim described how he'd used his enhanced senses to unravel the clues to the location of Lash's lair. "Oh, man, that is so cool! I told you your senses would help your police work. Just imagine what you'll be able to do with them after we've had more time to practice. You'll be beyond awesome!"

"You didn't do so bad yourself, Junior. If you hadn't strung Lash along, kept him talking, I wouldn't have had your voice to home in on. I'm proud of you."

Blair glanced disparagingly at the remaining disorder in the living room. "For what? I shouldn't even have let him take me out of here. I should've been able to fight him off, and I tried, Jim, I really did, but he was just so damned strong!"

"Blair, there's no shame in being overcome by a greater force; it happens to all of us," Jim said gently. "You gave it everything you had, and that's all anyone can expect. You delayed him, kept on fighting even when all you had was your words, gave me the time I needed to find you. You did everything right, Chief; you have no need to apologize for anything."

Blair searched Jim's face for confirmation. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Jim insisted. "Can I tell you a story, Chief?"

Blair raised a quizzical eyebrow. "You have the floor, man."

"When I was sixteen, I knew a little boy -- cute as a button, sharp as a tack, and loyal as a hound dog. I was practicing for a steeplechase that summer, and whenever I was at the stables, he'd be right there by my side. Nothing fazed him; the biggest horses acted like puppydogs around him, and he rode over jumps that were taller than he was. He was so full of plain, cussed courage that he even headed off into unknown territory, alone, to find and help an injured wolf." Jim pulled the little red ribbon out of his pocket, unfolded it, and laid it on the table between them. "That little boy hasn't lost one ounce of his intelligence, courage, or sheer joie de vivre as he grew up." He had to clear his throat before continuing huskily, "I am soo proud of you, Chief, then and now, and so grateful to whatever Providence led you across my path again."

Blair's eyes had shone ever brighter during Jim's recitation, and his smile grown ever wider. Now he chuckled softly. "Well, you can call it Providence if you want; I call it ten years of dedicated searching." He shook his head ruefully. "Jim, you're the reason I've studied and researched the sentinel phenomenon, and you're the reason I'm going to college in Cascade, Washington. I'd a whole lot rather be someplace warmer and drier -- but I figured this was the only place I had a reasonable chance of finding you." He shifted slightly in his seat. "So you don't mind that I tracked you down and I'm tagging along by your side again?"

"Mind?" Jim shook his head in bemusement, then pushed back from the table. "Chief, come here." When Blair stood, Jim put an arm around his shoulders and urged him out onto the balcony. He pointed outward.

"See those three young ladies at the end of the block? They're discussing a killer math test they have day after tomorrow. Down the next block, the fire escape on the fourth floor has a planter box on it; it has hyacinths in bloom, two purple and one pink.

"I could go on, but you get the idea. You've given me this, Chief; in just a few short weeks, you've given me control over my senses that I haven't had since... since..." Jim faltered to a stop as the realization hit him. "My God, Blair; not since I was sixteen with a curly-haired little munchkin by my side." He turned, and pulled Blair into a fierce embrace. "'This is me, giving you a biiiiig hug'. I missed you buddy, missed you so much, for years and years. I don't know how I ever forgot you."

Blair returned the hug just as fiercely. "It doesn't matter, now," he said softly. "I missed you too, but I came back, just like I promised. In my whole life, you were the best friend I ever had, and I've dreamed of finding you again, ever since Naomi took me away." He chuckled softly and drew away, looking out into the gathering dusk. "But you're probably right; without the hand of Providence, or Fate, or Gods and Goddesses, I could have been searching for another ten years, or twenty years. I guess we should both offer thanks to the Universe that we're together again."

His face was split by a sudden, wide yawn, and Blair settled tiredly against the strong body of his best friend. "Sorry, Jim; I guess that crap is still affecting me, after all. Did I say thanks for coming after me? I'm so glad to be home." His eyelids drooped, and he swayed slightly on his feet.

"Yeah, buddy, you told me," Jim said as he steered Blair into his bedroom. There he urged Blair onto his futon, made short work of divesting him of shoes and jeans, and tucked the covers around him as tenderly as a mother with a child. He stared at his best friend for a moment, then caressed his cheek with gentle fingers. "I'm glad you're home, too, Chief, and I hope you'll be home for a long, long time." He bent and kissed the sleeping man on the forehead, then turned and quietly left the room.



The End




Author's Notes

Recipe - pork in apricot sauce

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Title: Sentinel Haiku
Summary: Series summary, in haiku.
Style: Gen
Size: 50 words, about 0.1 page in MS Word
Warnings: None
Notes: Written 9/2/06
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Sentinel Haiku

by StarWatcher





Sentinel, watching,
Protecting his city, tribe,
Stands against chaos.

Guide, city's shaman,
Backup to his sentinel;
No zones on his watch.

Captain, strong leader,
Keeps necessary secrets
Despite his grumbling.

Warriors, unknowing,
Stand backup to sentinel,
Sharing his duty.

United as one,
Overcoming lawlessness,
The tribe remains strong.


The End



Author's Notes

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Title: Just Desserts
Summary: What had he done to deserve this?
Style: Gen
Size: 4,460 words -- about 9 pages in MS Word.
Warnings: None
Notes: October 25, 2006
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Just Desserts

by StarWatcher





When had he lost control? Not that anyone else seemed to recognize that; his department still obeyed his orders and apparently respected him. Even when Sandburg and Ellison -- and when had Sandburg started coming first in his mind? -- went charging off on their own, they made it look like they had his support. As far as anyone else knew, he was captain to a dedicated, hard-working, high-functioning team, rather than a pair of wild cards who skated the thin edge of chance far too often, with far more luck than any ten teams deserved.

"I'm telling you, Simon, it'll work!" insisted the more vocal half of the team. "We can set up a trap that plays right into his belief system; after I get done adding all his personal permutations to the scenario, he simply won't be able to resist walking into it. He'll be so utterly certain that his destiny is coming true that he won't suspect a thing, and Jim can just snap on the handcuffs. What can go wrong?"

Plenty, his mind supplied. "What's your take on this, Jim?" Simon asked the -- sometimes -- more rational half of the team. "Do you believe it'll be that easy, or are you just going along with another of Sandburg's scams?"

Ellison held up a hand to forestall his partner's automatic protest as he said, "Maybe not quite that easy, sir, but I do think Sandburg has a firm grasp of this guy's psyche. It can't hurt to try. If it doesn't work, we still have 'storm the ramparts with all guns blazing' to fall back on. But if it does, we take him down without a shot being fired; not only safer, but good for morale, and it plays well in the press." He shrugged; much as they hated it, they both recognized the realities of politics and PR.

"So you're seriously asking permission to dress up in a toga, with laurel leaves on your head, proclaim that you're Zeus, and simply walk in with half a dozen toga-wearing, palm-frond-waving 'minions' following you?"

"Oh, Jim has the legs to carry it off," Blair assured him sunnily. "And then he'll already have his costume for the Halloween party next week." He snickered, unconcerned with the twin glares cast his way. "At least the looseness of the togas will allow everyone to hide their guns."

Jim shrugged again. "I know it's silly, Simon, especially since the guy is mixing Roman and Greek mythology, but that's a point in our favor. We can be certain that this guy has never been confronted by real-life toga-wearing citizens; whether he believes it or not, he'll be so off-balance that he shouldn't be able to effectively resist. But bedsheets won't do it; we have to have costumes that look like the real thing."

Simon shook his head as he signed the requisition purchase order for 'Carl's Custom Costuming'. He couldn't understand what he'd done to deserve being saddled with a crazy sentinel/guide pair; if he believed Sandburg, he must have a hell of a karmic debt built up from some previous life. But he did know that his people couldn't work effectively if they were constrained by petty restrictions. At least he wouldn't be forced to don a toga; sometimes being a captain had definite perks. He handed the voucher to Ellison, who promptly passed it to Sandburg, who examined the amount thoughtfully before nodding and folding it into his wallet. "You know the rest of the PD will be pulling your leg about this for years," he warned.

"Not if we pull it off; it'll become just another chapter of the Ellison legend." Jim sounded distinctly smug, and Sandburg was wearing a prideful smirk.

A wise leader knew when to retreat. "Go do your thing," Simon ordered testily. "And shut the door on your way out."




Captain Banks raced toward the hospital with the siren clearing the streets in front of him. Sandburg's phone call had been desperately frantic; he needed help to break through the walls of bureaucracy. Just their luck to be stuck with doctors who don't know them, he thought as he pulled up in front of Skagit Valley Hospital in the small town of Mount Vernon, Washington. Cutting his siren, he parked decorously in the visitors' area; he'd probably be here for quite some time, and it wouldn't do to block access for other emergencies.

He strode into Admitting like an angry thundercloud, projecting all the authority granted by his size and position. "I'm Captain Simon Banks of the Cascade Police Department," he told the nurse-receptionist, "and I've been told that you're screwing up the treatment of one of my detectives. I want to see the doctor who's treating Jim Ellison immediately!" He finished with a glare that had the power to turn water to steam. It certainly melted the façade of the woman in front of him, despite the designation of 'Head Nurse' on her nametag.

"Yes, sir!" she not-quite-squeaked. "He'll be with you in just a few minutes." She hurried off; the doctor could fight his own battles with this glowering behemoth.

The promised 'few minutes' stretched to eight, but a doctor finally approached him. "Captain Banks? I'm Doctor Smithers; I believe you wished to speak to me?" He offered his hand in greeting.

Simon ignored it as he sized up the man. Of average height and on the downslope of middle age, the doctor radiated an air of self-satisfied arrogance; his attitude suggested that he was always right, and any other opinions would be ignored.

Simon was decidedly unimpressed. "I'm hoping that the report I received about my detective's condition was garbled," he barked. "What exactly is going on, Doctor Smithers?"

"Nothing to be concerned with," the doctor declared unctuously. "Your man is having an atypical allergic reaction to some bee-stings he received while he was pulling a child out of a wrecked car; the crash disturbed a nearby hive. He's stable, but that -- young man -- objects to our treatment." From the doctor's expression, the very idea of Blair's presence -- in the hospital? in life? -- left a bad taste in his mouth.

Ah-HA! thought Simon. Another idiot who judges a book by its cover. When Sandburg works his magic, he's not going to know what hit him.

"I assure you," the doctor continued, "we're following standard procedure with IV drips and histamine suppressants to support your man until the reaction passes; he's in no danger."

Simon's voice grew colder; this man's bungling might have put Jim's life in danger. "And what did Mr. Sandburg suggest?"

"That hippie? Some new-age nonsense about a quiet, dark room and acupressure. I've barred him from Mr. Ellison's room; the man doesn't need that kind of stress when he's trying to recover."

"'That hippie' is Detective Ellison's roommate, his partner on the police force, and holds Jim Ellison's personal and medical Power of Attorney -- which you would have learned if you had bothered to listen to his explanation!" Simon's voice rose to cut off the doctor's protests. "Mr. Sandburg has solid experience in how to handle Ellison's 'atypical reactions' to a number of allergies; if he requests a dark, quiet room in which to perform acupressure, I suggest that you damn well give it to them -- unless you want to be sued for malpractice. Now, take me to them," he growled, "find someone to unhook Ellison from whatever you have him on, and then leave them alone so that Mr. Sandburg can effect his treatment."

When he and Doctor Smithers exited the elevator one flight up, Simon saw Blair halfway down the hall, sitting on the floor. An orderly who would have looked more at home as a bouncer in a bar stood in front of the door across from Blair, apparently to keep him out.

Blair had looked up when he heard the 'whoosh' of the elevator doors, and now he sprang to his feet and hurried toward his captain. "Simon, thank God you're here! Nobody will let me do anything. When Jim --" he cast a glance toward the doctor, "uh, 'passed out' at the scene, there were already ambulances there for the accident victims, and they just shoved him in without listening to me, and everybody keeps not listening to me, and you know I can help him, but they won't let me in!" His voice rose in frustration.

"Take it easy, Sandburg; I've got it covered." The captain's voice was firm, but kind. "The good doctor understands the situation, now. You can go in to see Jim, and he'll send someone to disconnect all the medical paraphernalia ASAP, so you can start your 'treatment'."

Blair sagged in relief. "Thanks, Simon," he said sincerely. "You know what it means to me -- to us!" He hurried toward the guarded door and, when the doctor waved the orderly aside, slipped through.

Ten minutes later, the medical devices had been unhooked and turned off; Jim and Blair now shared the requested dim, quiet solitude. Simon sat guard outside their room in the chair he had asked for. No one would be allowed to disturb them until Blair had worked his magic; when Jim had recovered from his zone and whatever the bee-sting poison was doing to his body, Blair would come out with the good news. Till then, all anyone else could do was wait.

Simon leaned back and wearily rested his head against the wall. He was pretty sure that most other captains weren't faced with protecting the sentinel and guide as part of their duties. He wondered what he'd ever done, that Fate seemed to think he deserved this. He hoped that, someday, maybe he'd have an answer.




Jim had become increasingly restless during the morning. Something was wrong, but he couldn't pinpoint it. He'd turned his senses on his guide several times, but found no cause for alarm there. Blair's temperature, respiration and heartbeat were normal; he was calmly engaged in filling out the paperwork for the Meriwether bust. But, dammit, there was something...

A groan, almost inaudible even to his senses, drew his attention to Simon's office. The blinds were drawn, but when he zoomed in with his vision, he could see his captain through the narrow gap between the edge of the blinds and the side of the window frame. Simon had his head in his hands, his eyes were clenched tight, and minute beads of sweat dotted his brow. Sending his hearing out, Jim found his captain's heartbeat rapid with stress; the man had all the earmarks of being afflicted with a severe migraine.

Jim leaned close to his partner, keeping his voice low; Simon wouldn't appreciate the whole department descending on him to offer help or sympathy. "Hey, Chief, it looks like Simon's fighting a migraine. Do you have anything in your 'sentinel emergency' stash that might help him?"

Blair glanced toward Simon's office, frowning in thought. "Yeah, man, I have a few things that should work. I'll need a few minutes to get it ready." He rose and headed toward the break-room.

He returned a short time later, carrying a mug of something hot, with a small plastic bottle tucked under his arm. With a quick glance around the bullpen to be sure that no one was paying attention, Blair slipped quietly into Simon's office.

"Simon?" he said, softly. "Jim says you've got a migraine. I think this will help." He placed the mug on the desk, within easy reach of the captain.

Simon opened his eyes the barest slit to see what Sandburg was talking about, then quickly closed them again. "Sandburg, I don't need any of your poisonous concoctions; go away." He groaned quietly against the agony of his own voice.

Blair's voice was soothing, coaxing. "It's ginger tea, mixed with butterbur and feverfew. Even mainstream doctors recognize the value of all of them. Please, Simon, just a few sips; see what happens."

Blearily, Simon wondered why he deserved this treatment; couldn't the man let him die in peace? But giving in was easier than arguing; he snagged the mug and took a few cautious swallows. Not bad, actually, and he was thirsty; he'd felt too nauseated to have his usual cups of coffee. He drank some larger mouthfuls. Maybe it was his imagination, but the grip of pain did seem to be easing somewhat.

By the time the mug was half empty, Simon was noticing a definite improvement; he could almost feel the tension dripping away. He cautiously twisted his head from side to side, trying to loosen tight muscles in his neck and shoulders.

Apparently, Sandburg took that as some kind of signal. He rose from the chair where he'd been sitting quietly and stepped forward, again speaking in hushed tones. "Simon? I have another part of the treatment here. Would you let me massage your temples with lavender oil?"

"And end up smelling like some lady's boudoir?" Simon's snort was weak, but no less heartfelt.

"You can claim it's a new room deodorizer, or something. Come on, Simon; is avoiding a floral scent more important than getting rid of the pain?"

Once again, it was easier just to acquiesce to Sandburg's suggestion than to argue. "Fine; just get on with it and then leave," he grumbled.

Blair stepped around the desk to stand next to Simon. Gently, he started to rub the captain's temples in a circular pattern. His hands were cool with the oil, and the scent wasn't as strong as Simon had expected. It was soothing, actually, and the massage did feel good.

After a timeless interval, the pain was amazingly reduced. Blair's hands slipped down to his neck and shoulders, where he continued his massage on those muscles. The relief was incredible; if he ever gave up guiding a sentinel, Sandburg could easily get a job as an expert masseuse.

Blair finally stopped, and gently patted the captain's hand. "That's it, Simon; all done. Drink the rest of your tea, and stay still and quiet for another half hour or so; I think you'll be back to good by then." With a last pat of his captain's hand, he moved toward the door.

"Thanks, Sandburg," Simon whispered; he felt too relaxed to even raise his voice. But, somehow, Blair heard him.

"You're welcome, Simon," he murmured. "Glad I could help." The door quietly snicked closed behind him.




The door was pulled open to reveal the gangly teenager on the other side, his face lit by a broad smile. "Hey, Blair."

"Daryl, my man! How's it goin'?" He stepped into the entryway and let Daryl close the door behind him.

Daryl turned eagerly, his smile impossibly wider. "I got an A-minus on that Social Studies paper, and a solid A on my History test."

"All right! I knew you could do it; way to go!"

"I couldn't have done it without your help," Daryl declared fervently, leading the way to their usual spot at the kitchen table. "You make things easy enough to understand, and interesting enough to remember. I wish all my teachers were as good as you."

"That's only part of the learning process," Blair said as he sat down. "The student has to work at it too; most people get out of lessons exactly what they bring into them. And you, my man, are developing an excellent student-work ethic; gotta say, I'm real proud of you."

Daryl took the chair next to Blair, so that they could easily read the same pages. "Not half as proud as my Dad; he says if I keep this up, I can get a scholarship based on my brains instead of trying to bulk up enough to play football."

"Go with that, Daryl," Blair said seriously. "Football lasts only a few years; brains are forever, and they'll take you a helluva lot farther. But that's a concern for the future. What's on the agenda for tonight?"

"A paper for Ms. Jackson's class; we have to compare and contrast the Etruscan and Minoan civilizations. I've found a lot of stuff on the 'Net -- so much that I'm over my head; I'm not sure what's important and what's not."

"Okay, let's see what you have so far." Two heads bent over Daryl's scribbled notes.

Simon arrived from work an hour later, carrying their pre-arranged dinner from the Cotton Patch Café -- meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and apple pie. "So, Sandburg, this young whelp been giving you any trouble?" he asked as he took the plates from the cupboard.

"Dad, you know better than that," Daryl protested as he rose to help set the table. "Without Blair's tutoring, my chances of actually finishing tenth grade go way down; I'm staying on his good side so he won't kick me out."

"Not going to happen, Daryl," Blair proclaimed as he moved the books and papers to an unused chair. "After dealing with Jim Ellison, there's nothing you could do that I couldn't handle. On the other hand, you don't want to see what I'm capable of dishing out, so maybe you better toe the line." His broad wink completely ruined the effect of the scowl he bestowed on the teen.

"Well, at the risk of sounding maudlin, Sandburg," Simon began, as he filled their plates, "I vote with my son. Your tutoring has really opened his mind and improved his attitude; you've helped him show the smarts I always knew he had." He ignored Daryl's automatic protest of, "Da-ad!" from the other side of the table. "I don't know what we've done to deserve this, but I'm grateful. Thank you."

Blair snorted inelegantly. "What is it about macho cops that they have such difficulty with the concept of 'friendship'?" he asked, rhetorically. "Jim doesn't seem to get it, either. Friendship isn't 'deserved', Simon; it just is. All you have to do is share it, enjoy it, return it, and maybe extend it to others. Like Naomi used to say, 'love makes the world go round' -- and I love you both." He chuckled at Simon's slightly glazed expression. "Yeah, I figured that would go over real big with you. Forget about it man; let's eat."




Shortly before five, Jim knocked on the captain's door. "End of a long day, Simon," he said when he entered. "Taggart's joining Sandburg and me for a steak dinner at The Cattle Baron. We thought you might like to pick up Daryl and come with us; sort of make it a family affair. I think we deserve to celebrate after taking down the Blocker boys. How about it?"

Simon tossed his pen on the desk and leaned back in his chair, reaching under his glasses to rub tired eyes. "Sounds like a winner, especially after dealing with this crap all day. I swear, for two cents I'd put on a uniform and go back to walking a beat; let someone else worry about the paperwork."

"Arrest reports. Daily beat reports. Accident reports," Jim pointed out. "And the scuttlebutt is that the higher-ups will soon be demanding dog-poop reports. Face it, Simon, we'll never get away from the paperwork. But at least we can bury our sorrows under a rare steak and good beer. We have reservations for six-thirty; adding two more won't be a problem."

"You've convinced me. I'll swing by and pick up Daryl, and meet you there."




"Simon Banks," he told the receptionist. "I'm with Jim Ellison."

She checked the book. "Yes, sir; your party is already in the back room. Marcus will show you the way."

Simon followed the waiter, wondering what was up. The 'back room' was usually reserved for large parties; the five of them wouldn't even require an overly-large table.

He paused just a few steps inside the doorway, slightly disconcerted. Someone had indeed reserved a large party; it looked like every single member of the Major Crime Unit was present, and the room was decorated with an assortment of brightly-colored balloons and colorful streamers. On the far wall was a large banner that read, "CONGRATULATIONS!" in sparkly letters. Congratulations for what? Simon wondered in bemusement.

He felt Daryl pushing at him from behind. "What's the big deal, Dad? You know all these people. Let's go sit down so we can eat; I'm hungry!"

Daryl was right; he knew these people, and he could give them hell on Monday morning. In the meantime, he took a seat in one of the empty chairs that had been so prominently reserved at the main table, and Daryl settled in next to him.

Simon let his gaze roam among his friends and coworkers, and finally settled on Sandburg. "What's going on here?" he barked.

"Not a thing, Simon," Blair assured him. "We just realized that the whole department deserves to pat ourselves on the back. Every single one of us worked our asses off to bring in the Blockers, so we simply... expanded the celebration a little."

"And I suppose you managed this 'expansion' in the past hour and a half?"

"Well, no..." Blair started cautiously.

Taggart spoke quickly. "We've been planning it for a couple of days," he admitted, "but Blair pointed out that parties are more fun if someone is surprised. Since your desk isn't in the bullpen, it was easy to make you the 'surprisee'. And that means the rest of us pick up the tab for your and Daryl's dinners, so you really can't complain." He sat back, beaming comfortably.

Simon kept his snort of disbelief internal. How is it I never noticed that Sandburg has two Blessed Protectors? he wondered. He's got Ellison and Taggart wrapped around his little finger. We're just lucky he uses his powers for good instead of evil.

He turned to his son. "And you knew all about this?"

"Well, sure, Dad," Daryl said. "I like your friends, and I'm happy you guys got another bunch of creeps off the streets, so I want to celebrate, too. And there's no sense turning down a free steak dinner."

All right. Simon had the feeling that, eventually, another shoe would drop. Meanwhile, he might as well enjoy the good company and good food. He grinned toothily around the group. "You may be sorry; I intend to order the most expensive meal on the menu. Has anyone asked if they're offering lobster tonight?" Amid hearty laughter and a spattering of applause, he reached for a menu.




Over a delicious dessert of 'Sizzling Apple Crisp' topped with 'homemade' vanilla ice cream -- yes, it was just a fancy dressed-up type of apple pie, but sometimes traditional treats were the best, and the ice cream certainly tasted homemade -- Simon noticed an expectant stir among the participants. Here it comes, he thought. Wonder who they selected for the fall guy?

As Simon laid his fork down after the last bite, Taggart rose and cleared his throat. "Simon," he began, "I'm sure you've realized that we had ulterior motives in planning this get-together."

"They didn't make me 'captain' for nothing, Joel," he quipped.

"We know that, Simon. In fact, that's why we're here. We've decided that the captains always get short shrift at the yearly Awards Banquet. There's recognition for individual policemen, and detectives, and teams... but captains -- good ones -- are almost invisible. They're the linchpin of their unit, but linchpins don't get noticed, even though everything else hangs on them.

"So, we took a very exclusive vote; only the members of Major Crime were eligible." Taggart paused to let the laughter sweep across the room. "And the vote was unanimous; we're giving you an award for the best captain of the Cascade PD."

Thunderous applause spread through the group, while Taggart ceremoniously presented his captain with a medium-sized, flat box. Simon opened it to find a wood-and-brass plaque. He read the inscription:


Awarded to
Captain Simon Banks
of the
Major Crime Unit

The best damn captain
of the best damn section
of the entire
Cascade Police Department.

Your bark inspires terror,
but also pushes us to achieve
more than we ever thought we could.

It is an honor to work with you.


Underneath the inscription were the names of every member of his team, including Rhonda, Megan, and Sandburg.

Simon's throat thickened, even as his eyebrows raised. He'd have to keep this in an inconspicuous place in his office; it was obviously meant only for him and close friends, rather than for any passerby into Major Crime, but the sentiments struck a deep chord within him. He couldn't even begin to understand what he'd done to deserve this -- he simply did his job to the best of his ability -- but he appreciated the deep feeling behind it.

"Speech! Speech!" came the inevitable cry.

Simon's voice was husky. "I... I don't know what to say." He stopped to clear his throat, then tried again. "To say I'm stunned is putting it mildly; as Joel said, captains don't get much in the way of specific recognition. From reading the inscription, you seem to think it's an honor to serve with me. To tell the truth, I'm the one who's honored to serve with all of you; there really is no finer group of men and women in the entire Cascade PD.

"Someone told me recently," he cast his eyes toward Sandburg, "that 'it's about friendship', and it seems he was right. I certainly think of all of you as 'friends', and I'm prouder than I can say that you feel the same way about me. Thank you.

"Although..." Simon directed a fierce glare toward each table, "this doesn't mean that I'll go any easier on any of you, come Monday morning. We have the best unit in the whole of Cascade, and I intend to see it stays that way. If I inspired you with terror before, just wait!" He sat, among more applause and laughter, and well wishes called from every part of the room.

Daryl quickly grabbed the plaque to examine it more closely. "Man, Dad, that is so rad!" He leaned over to hug his father. "And you know, don't you, that as much grief as I give you sometimes, I'm proud of you, too. I couldn't ask for a better dad."

Simon returned the hug fiercely, resting his cheek on his son's head. "Daryl," he whispered, "that is the best present you could ever give me. Thank you, son."

Maybe he didn't deserve this, Simon thought, but he was going to hang on to it for as long as he possibly could. Thank God for friends and family, the only things that made life truly worth living.



The End




Author's Notes


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Title: For the Children
Summary: Blair's Halloween project grows bigger than he expected.
Style: Gen
Size: 3,110 words, about 6 pages in MS Word
Warnings: None
Notes: Written October 2005, for the Sentinel Secrets challenge of "Halloween".
Feedback: Not necessary, but comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





For the Children

by StarWatcher





Friday, Oct. 10th

"Say, Jim, can I borrow the truck for a few hours tomorrow?"

Blair had chosen the right moment to distract his friend -- a commercial for cat litter didn't hold anyone's attention -- but Jim still gave him the lifted eyebrow routine. "Why, Sandburg? Your classic rattletrap seemed to be running just fine when you drove in this evening."

Blair shook his head in mock sorrow. "Jim, do you really think that you should keep casting aspersions on my choice of vehicles? Your sixty-nine truck wasn't born yesterday."

"It's not the age, it's the action," he intoned pontifically. "At least my truck acts like a sprightly teenager; your car acts like a decrepit dowager."

"Ageism, Jim!" Blair sighed dramatically. "I'm shocked -- shocked I tell you! -- to hear such ugly words coming out of your mouth. With a little TLC, my 'decrepit dowager' will carry me faithfully for the next ten years. With your driving record, your sprightly teenager will be toast by next summer."

"Sandburg, let me explain something to you. When one man requests a favor of another man, it is counter-productive for the first man -- you -- to diss the habits and activities of the second man -- me. It might cause the second man to deny the first man's request, no matter how reasonable it may be, without even hearing what the request is. You think you might want to reconsider your words?" His eyes twinkled at his friend.

Blair wrestled the wide grin that tried to hijack his lips under control, and projected a credible -- if he did say so himself -- simulation of outrage. "Blackmail? That you, an officer of the law, would stoop so low is just... just sad, Jim." He shook his head again, and drew 'hauteur' around him like a cloak. "It is beneath my dignity to respond to such threats. Never mind; if I have to make three trips in the Volvo, so be it. I'm sure I'll be able to forgive you... in time." He swung on his heel to stalk out of Jim's presence and, incidentally, to allow the broad smile to break free.

"Yeah, yeah, save it for the fishes," Jim retorted amiably. "Seriously, Sandburg, what do you need the truck for that the Volvo can't do?"

"Oh, man, we've got this big project lined up." Blair swung back and sat on the opposite couch, leaning forward and transmitting his enthusiasm with sparkling eyes. "One of the TAs mentioned that a lot of kids in long-term care are stuck in the hospital over Halloween. The hospital staff make a holiday fuss at Christmas and Easter, to make them feel not so isolated, but Halloween kinda gets overlooked. So we decided we'd decorate a bunch of pumpkins and give each kid his very own Halloween pumpkin. Cool, huh?"

Jim was dubious, though he hated to dampen Blair's excitement. "I dunno, Chief. Seems to me that a jack-o-lantern would be a prime breeding ground for germs, and some kids might even be allergic. Will the hospital allow it? And how many is 'a bunch'?"

"No, man, not a problem." He waved off the objections with a careless hand. "I said 'decorate', not 'carve'. We'll use whole pumpkins -- they'll stay fresh a lot longer -- and decorate them with paint and markers, maybe glue stuff on to make faces or characters or animals. We checked with the hospitals and it's not against policy, so that's okay. And right now, between the three hospitals, there's a hundred and twenty-nine kids who'll probably still be there on Halloween. We have two teaching fellows and four TAs in the project, so that's twenty-one-and-a-half pumpkins apiece. But we each figure to do twenty-five, so we'll be sure to have enough if any more kids are on the wards by then."

"I don't see the problem, Chief, except maybe you finding time to decorate all those, but that's your lookout. You should be able to get twenty-five pumpkins in the trunk and back seat, unless you're going for the giant ones."

"Well..." His grin turned a bit sheepish. "Two of the TAs don't have cars; I said I'd pick them up and we could all go out to the Pumpkin Patch together. They charge half the price of what the stores do, and we'll have a greater size selection. The stores seem to carry only the really small hand-sized ones, or the really big armful-sized ones. We need pumpkins that are big enough to decorate, but small enough for little hands to hold them, and to set on the nightstand beside them. Even so, seventy-five just won't fit in the Volvo..." He let his words trail off, and waited expectantly.

Jim surrendered; the commercial break was almost over. "Okay, Sandburg, the truck is all yours tomorrow. Although," he pointed a warning finger, "if it's damaged, I'll take it out of your hide." He noted with amusement that Sandburg couldn't quite mask his relief; had the kid really thought he'd say 'no'? "Just tell me... what's her name?"

"Who?"

"The one who came up with this idea. I know you, Sandburg; it had to be a girl."

Blair's look of wounded offence got no reaction; his friend simply waited for an answer. "Okay, okay; it was Cindy. Big brown eyes and the friendliest girl you'd ever want to meet. But that's beside the point; it's still a good idea that will help brighten some kids' lives a little bit, you know?"

Jim's lips quirked with mild amusement. "You're right, Sandburg; I'm sure they'll enjoy it. You know, some day you'll make a great daddy." With that astonishing pronouncement, he dismissed the matter from his mind and turned back to the TV.



Monday, Oct. 13th

Jim listened in amusement as the whispers passed around the bullpen while he worked diligently to finish his report. Once again, the grapevine had proved to be faster than the most modern method of communication. As the news traveled from Megan to Rhonda, to Henri and Rafe, and then to Dills, Johnson, and Garcia, Jim idly wondered what kind of reception Blair would get once he reached Major Crime. He glanced at the clock. Well, just two hours, and he'd have his answer.




Blair walked through the doorway right on time, calling greetings to everyone he saw. He had barely deposited his backpack beside Jim's desk, and was just removing his coat, when Henri advanced on him.

"Hairboy! What kind of friend keeps all the fun for himself? It ain't cool to keep your brothers away from the action."

Blair gaped. "What are you talking about, H? I don't have any action to keep you away from."

Megan joined the little group. "He means your Halloween project, Sandy. It sounds like fun; we'd like to help. Halloween is a time for kids, and since we don't have any, this is a chance to connect with them."

"Yeah," Rafe affirmed as he walked up. "We figure we could each decorate two or three pumpkins, take some of the work off your hands, and maybe have a contest when they're all finished to judge who did the best, and the funniest, and like that."

Blair stared at his friends as Rhonda assured him, "We've got it all planned, Blair. We can set up a long table over there," she pointed to the wall next to the copy machine, "and put them all on display as we finish them. Simon has agreed to judge the contest before you deliver them to the hospitals. So, what do you say?"

"Well..." Blair eyed the group around him, then looked out across the bullpen; several other detectives seemed to be watching and waiting for his answer. "How many of you want to join in?" Nine hands shot into the air. Blair did some rapid mental calculations. "Okay. I really appreciate the help, but I should spread it around. S'pose I collect some of the pumpkins from the others; if you'll all decorate four, that'll give each of us six less to deal with. Sound good?"

Assurances were pouring in from all sides when Captain Banks, watching from the doorway of his office, judged it a good time to send his people back to work. He accomplished that with a loud, "Ahem!" and watched in satisfaction as his detectives returned to their desks.

Shaking his head in bemusement, Blair shelved the pumpkin logistics for later and slid into his chair at Jim's desk. "So, Jim, what's on the agenda for this afternoon?"

"Glad you're here, Chief. I keep thinking I may have missed something in the Bellars' house; I'd like to go through it again. I'll need you to ground me, and help with the senses. You up to it?"

"All the way, man; you know I'll always have your back." He grabbed his coat and backpack and followed his sentinel out the door.



Monday, Oct. 20th

After supper, Blair had covered the table with newspapers and spread out his supplies -- paint and glue, markers, yarn, felt, glitter, poster-board and various odds and ends that Jim didn't even recognize. He merely felt grateful that Blair had searched for -- and found -- 'hypoallergenic' paints and markers; they had a reduced odor that was easier on his senses. Still, he turned his mental dial down a notch so that he wouldn't have to smell them, and settled on the couch to watch a 'mystery', accompanied by acid commentary of the depicted 'police procedures', which Blair ignored with the ease of long practice.

During the commercial break, Jim rose to grab a beer. He stopped near the table for a moment, watching Blair at work. The current pumpkin had eight fuzzy pipe cleaners stuck into it, angled up and bent over to form a spider's legs. Blair had glued white poster-board eyes and fangs onto a large circle of black fake fur, and was now gluing that to the side of the pumpkin. Simple, but effective, Jim decided.

"So, Sandburg, what number is this one?"

"Twelve, Jim; only seven more to go." He spoke without looking up. "I'll make it easily. Are you sure you don't want to try your hand at one? It's really kind of satisfying, creating something for kids."

"I catch bad guys, Chief; that's satisfaction enough." He continued his journey to the fridge, grabbed a beer, and ambled back to the couch to catch the second half of the movie.

Blair set number twelve aside to let the glue dry, and picked up number thirteen. He chewed his lip as he examined it from all sides, searching for inspiration on how to decorate this one. Maybe... a vampire. He reached for the black paint and went to work.



Friday, Oct. 24th

For the past ten days, Blair had watched, with a touch of amused awe, as the decorated pumpkins appeared on the display table. Now forty sat waiting for Captain Banks to pronounce the winners. As Blair surveyed the witches and goblins, the cats, bats, ghosts and various other Halloween figures, he was amazed at the talent that some of the detectives had shown in their efforts to bring a bit of pleasure to sick children who were unknown to them. He wondered idly if he could persuade some of his friends to join the adult art classes at the Community College; such talent should be encouraged. But that was for another day.

Some of them, on the other hand, seemed a little less appropriate. Blair nudged Megan, who was standing next to him. "Why a mouse?" he whispered, staring at big eyes and ears and a whiskery snout, crafted from felt and glued in place. "That's not very Halloween-y."

"Not a mouse!" she whispered back. "It's an Australian pygmy possum; they're very cute, and often used in artwork at home. We don't celebrate Halloween down under, so I thought I'd give one of the little tin lids a taste of a different culture."

Ooo-ka-a-ay, he thought with a mental shrug, but refrained from saying anything else.

At precisely four o'clock, the door to the Captain's office opened and Simon Banks approached the contest entries with suitable gravity. He chewed his cigar as he paced in front of the table, examining each pumpkin carefully, occasionally tipping one back or turning it from side to side to evaluate the quality of the artistry. Once in awhile, he jotted something on the notepad he was carrying. The members of the bullpen held their collective breaths as they awaited their captain's pronouncement.

Finally, Simon turned toward the gathered crowd. He surveyed them solemnly for a moment, then smiled broadly. "Gentlemen!" he boomed, "…And ladies," he added, with a nod toward Megan and Rhonda, "you've all done extremely well. Some little child will be very pleased to get any of these pumpkins; you can be proud of the effort you've put into your art. However, we have only a limited number of prizes to hand out, deserving though each entrant may be. So without further ado..." He consulted his notebook.

"The 'silliest' prize goes to Henri's hula dancer." He raised an eyebrow at Henri's beaming smile. "H, 'fat orange' and 'hula dancer' just don't mesh well, but I salute your ingenuity."

"Now, Captain, if she was real, that lady could really shimmy," Henry opined, beaming fondly at his creation with its plastic-grass skirt, small lei draped around a nonexistent neck, and two painted walnut shells in lieu of coconut breast-cups. "And she'd be a nice cuddly armful, if you know what I mean." He winked and elbowed Rafe, to make sure his partner caught the joke.

Captain Banks spoke a little louder, to override the heartfelt groans from the detectives around him. "The prize for 'nostalgic' goes to Rhonda's hippie girl. She may well be the hit of the ward," he suggested, surveying the painted big blue eyes, bright smile, and the yellow flowers tastefully adorning the fibrous hair, some of which had been braided with beads and feathers. "I can see that you put a lot of work into her."

"Thank you, Captain. I am rather proud of her," Rhonda said with her normal quiet composure, but a pleased smile.

The announcements continued as, perhaps not coincidentally, each participant received some kind of prize. Rafe's green-snake-haired medusa tied with Garcia's scowling, big-toothed monster as 'scariest' pumpkins, and Megan's green-skinned witch was judged 'most traditional'. The big, burly Johnson bowed ironically among the teasing catcalls as his Raggedy Ann, complete with orange-yarn hair and sitting on a white ruffled collar, was declared the 'sweetest' design. The 'funkiest' award went to Dills' big-nosed clown, eerily enhanced with a spider in its frizzy green hair.

By now, Simon was sounding like a carnival barker as he proclaimed the last of the prizes. "The award for 'most contemporary' goes to Sandburg's soldier. I like the camouflaged doo-rag," he told a grinning Blair, "but I suspect that the dog-tags better not be Jim's."

"Uh, no, Simon; Army surplus," he assured the captain. "I think some boy will like to have 'real soldier tags', you know? I just hope he never has to use them." Blair glanced at Jim as he spoke, mutely extending sympathy for what his friend had endured in the past, which Jim acknowledged with a small shrug and a wry twist of his lips.

"And finally," Simon consulted his notebook one last time, "the prize for 'best secret entrant and action figure' goes to Ellison's pirate. But tell me," he asked slyly, "does the hearing in the extra big ears make up for having only one eye?"

Blair's eyes widened as he stared at his friend. "Jim! How... I mean, when... I mean, I thought you weren't interested."

"Not in mass-production like you set up, Sandburg." Jim shrugged nonchalantly. "But one was kind of fun; like you said, it's for the children. And besides, it was worth it to see your face." He snickered and aimed a swat at Blair's head, which his friend easily avoided. "I admit it's been a while, but I think I can remember what kids like."

"Yeah, man, it looks like it." Blair examined the pirate more closely, taking note of the eye-patch, and the plastic dagger held within sharpened teeth. "I gotta say, I'm impressed."

"So, ladies and gentlemen, that concludes the judging," Simon announced. "I've decided on a democratic approach to the prizes -- choose your own." With that, he lifted a large napkin from the end of the table to reveal a plate heaped with an assortment of candy bars. "Have one, people; you've earned it."

As the plate passed from hand to hand, each person selecting his or her favorite chocolaty indulgence, Simon spoke again. "And finally, one last award -- an honorable mention to the man who instigated this little bit of fun and frivolity. Blair -- for helping each of us to connect with our 'inner child', and for working to bring a little ray of happiness to children who need it -- thank you. I think you've done more good than you know." He solemnly presented the stunned young man with a giant, economy-sized Mr. Goodbar as the assembled detectives clapped and cheered.



Sunday, Oct. 26th

Blair breezed into the loft, tossed the keys in the basket, and hung his coat on the hook. "Hey, Jim. Man, it is nippy outside; real Fall weather. Do I smell coffee?"

Jim replied without looking up from his book. "Yeah, Sandburg, fresh-perked. I figured you'd be home around now. Bring me a cup, too."

"What, am I your maid?" he groused good-naturedly as he crossed to the kitchen to fill two cups.

"No; call it payment for truck-rental, and remember that you got off easy. Did you get them all delivered?"

Blair handed one cup to his friend and sat down on the opposite couch. "Sure did. I felt sorry for all those kids stuck in the hospital over a holiday, but their eyes really lit up when we passed out the pumpkins. I think we did good."

"I know you did good, Chief. You give your heart and soul to everything you do... and sometimes I even appreciate it." Jim winked at Blair's open-mouthed expression.

Blair rallied quickly. "I'm glad you feel that way, Jim; I thought maybe the mess and disruption might be too much for you. But since it didn't bother you, I've been thinking, maybe for Christmas..."

"Sandburg!"



The End



Author's Notes

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Title: Blame it on Garmina
Summary: Department of Stupid Excuses
Style: Gen
Size: 2, 505 words, about 5 pages
Warnings: None
Notes: Giftfic for [livejournal.com profile] betagoddess, April, 2009
Feedback: Not necessary, but I certainly do like to get it!
Email: If you prefer not to post a comment that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org



Blame it on Garmina

by StarWatcher




This story was "To Helen
with fervent wishes for the best possible outcome,
and a speedy recovery.
I hope this little story will help brighten your day."

Sadly, Helen lost her battle with cancer.
She is greatly missed, and will be long remembered.







"We're close, Jim, I'm sure of it. Turn down this street."

Jim turned the F-150 to the right, making sure that his exasperated sigh was loud enough for Blair to hear. "Sandburg, I know it's exciting to share a new 'discovery' with friends, but has it ever occurred to you that it might be easier if you'd notice a street name, or a landmark, or something, so you could get back there? You could faint from hunger while looking for your restaurant."

"Oddly enough, there are very few street signs in primitive villages," Blair retorted. "And I noticed plenty of landmarks -- it was right next door to a leather-goods shop, and just across the street from a pet store, and that was next to a Napa Auto Parts. I was following Jason to his place to borrow some equipment, so I admit I didn't notice the street name, but I know we're within a block or two. Actually, if you'd quit complaining long enough to roll down the window and take a deep breath, you should be able to smell it -- authentic Greek cooking, using only fresh ingredients. You can sink your teeth into the Greek version of a hamburger -- made with onion and herbs in the meat, about ten steps up from WonderBurger -- while I eat a healthy vegetarian version of stuffed zucchini with egg and lemon sauce. Or, Jason said they make an ostrich steak in a sauce of orange juice and red wine that's orgasmic." He kissed the tips of his fingers enthusiastically, miming exuberant bliss. "I guarantee, we'll both be happy."

"Sandburg..." Jim growled. He reminded himself that beating his head against the steering wheel would make driving difficult, not to mention making his headache worse. "Look, I appreciate the support you've given me the past couple of months; I couldn't have gotten a handle on these senses without your help. But you've got to get over this idea that this sentinel thing is 'easy'. If we're a couple of blocks away, how do you expect me to smell grape leaves and garlic while I'm being hit with the smell of gas fumes, oil residue, car exhaust, dirty streets, stinking alleys with dozens of overflowing garbage dumpsters..."

Blair subsided immediately, casting Jim an apologetic look. "Sorry, man; I forgot. It's just that it should be easy; the original sentinels had to be able to isolate smells -- or any other kind of input -- from competing information in order to function effectively. There's gotta be a way for you to... I dunno --" His hands cut patterns through the air as he tried to express a new, nebulous idea. "-- kind of filter out what you don't want, and enhance what you need. Maybe if we --"

"Any unit in the vicinity of fifty-eight twenty-two Tampeka, respond to a one-thirty, possible four-sixty. No injuries reported at this time."

"Just two blocks away," Jim grunted. With an economy of motion that never failed to impress Blair, he spun the wheel to make a U-turn while using his left hand to set the magnetic police light on the roof. He flipped on the siren as he gunned the engine, then reached for the mic. "One-zebra-one, responding. ETA two minutes."

"What're we heading for?" Blair asked as he braced himself. Even two minutes of Jim's version of speed-driving could bounce him around within the limits of his seatbelt.

"Property damage with possible moving violation. Some idiot probably ran over a mailbox or something."

"Or something," Blair agreed as they reached the scene. They were looking at a fire-engine red Cadillac DeVille Concours that was buried hood-deep into the wall of a dress shop. For a moment, he felt ill as he wondered how there could have been 'no injuries reported'; he distinctly saw twisted bodies on the ground, and one poor woman writhing in agony on the roof of the vehicle. Then, like a scene shift in a movie, his brain caught up with his eyes, and Blair realized he was seeing window dummies that had been displaying the latest fashions. He offered a heart-felt 'thank you' to whatever gods were listening before he asked, "How d'you suppose the driver managed to do that?"

"We'll find out," Jim said grimly as he parked his Ford. "My money's on DWI." Slamming the door behind him, he stalked toward the chaotic scene with Sandburg following at his heels.

The scene resolved itself into three principal parties -- two of them arguing with various degrees of anger and upset -- with the usual crowd of rubberneckers surrounding them and offering useless advice. A tall, dark-haired woman was shouting at the pudgy, red-faced man in front of her. "I don't care if God himself told you to turn! You drove right into my store, for Christ's sake, and I'm not seeing my insurance go up because of an asshole like you; you're paying every penny of damages!"

"Look, Lady, it's defective equipment!" the pudgy man roared back, his face becoming even redder. "If you sue the manufacturer, they'll learn to put out a decent product. I'm not responsible if the damn thing didn't work like it was supposed to!"

"Cascade PD!" Jim announced as he worked his way through the crowd. "Stand back, people; give us some room to work, here."

"Not responsible?!" the tall woman shrieked. "I saw you behind the wheel, driving right at the store like it's an open street. It's only God's grace that let me get out of the way fast enough to avoid being run over; you're either drunk, blind, or an idiot!"

The crowd parted reluctantly, then closed in again as Jim and Blair reached the open area that encompassed the accident scene; apparently, no one wanted to miss the show.

The pudgy man puffed up to an alarming degree, while the other woman -- short, slender and sweet-faced, but wearing an anxious expression -- tugged on his arm. "Harold, you need to calm down. You know what the doctor said about your blood pressure; this isn't good for you."

"You're right, ma'am," Jim said as he swept the group with a stern expression. "Everyone needs to calm down while we get this sorted out. Now, I'm Cascade PD," he tapped the badge at his belt, "so let's take this one at a time. Who's the owner of the store?"

"I am," the tall woman said. "Barbara Mattock -- 'Madam Mattie' -- and this fool insists it's not his fault that he destroyed my store! Well, that's not my car making a hole in my wall!"

"And you are?" Jim asked, deftly cutting off the man's next disclaimer.

"Jonas Polk. And like I told screaming Mimi over there --"

"There's no need for insults, sir; we'll get to the details in a moment." Jim focused on the smaller woman. "And your name, ma'am?"

"Oh, I'm Jonas's wife, Mandy. That is, Miranda Polk." She spoke hesitantly, with an ingratiating little smile. "And Jonas -- well, he might have reacted a little strongly, but Garmina has been less helpful than we thought."




Blair watched from the background as Jim wrote the information in his notebook. He wasn't using his sentinel senses, so didn't need Blair's input, but Blair was impressed at his friend's handling of the situation; just his presence seemed to be defusing the situation. Maybe he could make a paper out of this; the interactions of people under stress were always intriguing.

He thought that Ms. Mattock, for instance, would've been just as comfortable running a large corporation as a small store; she exuded controlled strength and a no-nonsense attitude. Mr. Polk, on the other hand, had very little self-control; he seemed to think that things would go his way if he simply shouted loudly enough and threw his weight -- literal as well as figurative -- over any and all obstacles. Mrs. Polk... well, she... fluttered. Not too surprising; she probably spent a lot of time trying to make sure that her husband didn't erupt.

Blair wondered if they had kids, and how they'd developed in such an environment. He wondered if Jim would ever have kids. Jim would be a good father, strict, but consistent and fair. How strong was the sentinel gene? Would one -- or more -- of Jim's kids be a sentinel? What kind of upbringing and early training would help a young sentinel develop his senses to the fullest? But Jim hadn't had his senses until adulthood; could early training prepare a potential sentinel for coming online as an adult, so it wouldn't be as difficult as it was for Jim? Burton hadn't mentioned it in his book, but Blair was beginning to realize that Burton really hadn't explained much concrete information about sentinels. No wonder Jim got so frustrated sometimes; half the time, Blair was improvising wildly as he tried to help the big guy control his senses. But Jim should have his senses firmly under control by the time Blair finished his dissertation. Maybe he could get a grant and travel to primitive tribes, to learn their histories of sentinels and how they developed and handled their skills; it was important to have more information if any other sentinels ever showed up. Maybe a second doctorate, with another dissertation...




"Garmina, Mrs. Polk? Is she still in the car?" Jim quickly scanned the vehicle with his senses. No heartbeat, but also no scent of blood.

"Yes... but Garmina's not a person. I just call her that because she has such a pleasant voice. We're driving cross-country soon, and I bought Jonas a UPS system to help him navigate, but --"

"G-PS system, Mandy, I keep telling you it's a G-PS system!" her husband interrupted, although -- under Jim's cool gaze -- not as forcefully as previously. "It's a Garmin nüvi seven-sixty, only she calls it 'Garmina'." Mr. Polk sneered at his wife, then continued his outraged justification. "It's supposed to be the best on the market," he told Jim indignantly, "but it's a piece of shit. Always giving me directions that'll take me the long way around--"

"Not always, Jonas," his wife said, timidly.

He ignored her completely. "-- like I haven't lived here all my life and don't know how to get across town! And it's got a whiney voice that keeps telling me to turn where there isn't a turn!" He pitched his voice to a sickly-sweet falsetto. "Turn right. Turn right. Turn right." He turned and glared at the car. "I haven't had a bit of satisfaction from the manufacturer -- told them they sold me a piece of crap and I wanted it fixed, but they said it was operating 'within normal parameters'. So I figured I'd just show them; the next time it told me to turn I damn well would, and I did, and you can see what a piece of crap it is!" He gestured wildly at the broken wall surrounding the car.

"Somehow, I doubt the GPS system wrenched the wheel out of your hands and aimed at this store, Mr. Polk," Jim said dryly. "I need you to stand straight, please, with your feet together and your hands extended at shoulder level. Then close your eyes and touch your nose with your index finger, each hand." Jim couldn't smell any alcohol on his breath, but he also couldn't use his sentinel senses as proof that the man hadn't been drinking.

"You calling me drunk? It's twelve-fifteen in the afternoon, and you're calling me drunk? I haven't touched a drop since dinner last night." Mr. Polk's belligerence was increasing again; it seemed he finally might be realizing that he couldn't walk away from his actions.

"He really hasn't, Officer," Mrs. Polk confirmed in a soft voice.

"Then it won't be difficult to demonstrate your sobriety. Do it, please." While Mr. Polk complied, Jim beckoned Blair closer. "Chief, I think I have a book of tickets in the glove box," he murmured. "Go get it for me, would you?"

As Blair hurried to comply, Jim directed Mr. Polk through the standard field sobriety test, finishing with Mr. Polk walking a straight line, heel to toe. As expected, he passed easily, although he continued to protest; the man's problem wasn't drunkenness, but giving in to temper tantrums that he should have outgrown by the time he was five.

"Thanks, Chief." Jim took the booklet from Blair and started writing. "Mr. Polk, this is a summons to appear in court at ten-thirty AM this Thursday. I expect that the judge won't care what 'Garmina' told you; you were in control of the vehicle." He evaluated the wrecked car, and the damage to the building. "I sincerely hope 'sending a message' to the manufacturers makes you feel better; I estimate that message will cost you about a hundred and seventy-five thousand dollars. And I expect your insurance rates will triple -- if they don't cancel your policy outright."

Jim ignored Mr. Polk's gaping mouth to turn to Mrs. Polk. "Ma'am, the judge might be a little more lenient if your husband is already enrolled in an anger-management class. I suggest you look into it immediately."

She cast a nervous glance at her husband, but nodded. "Yes, Officer. Thank you; I will."

"Ms. Mattock." Jim was writing another summons. "You're the injured party here -- fortunately not physically." He gave her a slight, understanding smile, which she returned. "But you should also be there, to explain what happened from your point of view, and the extent of the damages. I suggest you go armed with Polaroid pictures that you'll take before you start cleaning up this mess."

She took the slip of paper, calm now that it was clear the driver wouldn't evade the consequences of his actions. "Thank you, Officer; I'll be there."

Jim turned to the crowd. "Okay, folks, it's over. Go back to whatever you were doing."

Slowly, the onlookers began to disperse, and then Blair was gripping his arm in excitement. "Jim, look! I told you we were close!" He gestured wildly in the opposite direction from where they'd parked the truck.

Four doors down was a Napa Auto Parts store, next to a pet store. Across from those he saw another store -- 'Barelli's Fine Leathers' -- and a restaurant -- 'It's Greek to Me'.

"So, what do you say? You're finished with the police thing, and I don't know about you, but I'm hungry. Lunch?"

"You swear they have edible meat, something that's not seventy-five percent vegetables?"

"I swear, man! And if they don't, I promise I won't say a word while you drive us to WonderBurger. But since we found it, we should at least look at the menu."

"We 'found' it? You have a loose interpretation of the word, Sandburg; you had us heading the other way." But, now that he was close enough, Jim could smell a heady aroma emanating from the restaurant -- clean, spicy and mouthwatering, with plenty of meat in the mixture. "But I suppose if I don't try it, you won't let it drop for the next three days. Okay, lunch."



The End




Author's Notes

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Title: Ships that Pass...
Summary: A soldier protects a college student, just before a mission.
Style: Gen
Size: 4,505 words, about 8 pages in MS Word.
Warnings: A bit of unwanted sexual contact.
Notes: Written December, 2005. Two military acronyms used; if you don't know them, they're at the end of the story.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Ships that Pass...

by StarWatcher





FRIDAY, MARCH 11, 1988

Captain James Ellison stared at the duffle bag on his bed as he ran through a mental checklist, confirming that he hadn't left anything out. They'd be in the bush for at least three months before pick-up -- longer if the mission required it -- and there'd be no running to the PX to grab a forgotten item. As it was, he and his team would be living off the land and wishing for the little luxuries of home long before they were brought back to the States.

He raised his head at a knock on the door. "Enter!"

Sergeant Vincent Sarris stepped into the room, snapped a sharp salute, then relaxed into easy informality at Captain Ellison's nod. Sarris considered Ellison was one of the better officers -- firm but fair, he took no guff, but supported his men one hundred percent. He was frequently too serious, though, and Vinnie had made it a personal goal to help his captain have a little fun when such occasions were available.

"Everyone's packed and ready to go, Captain. We thought we'd head out for one last night on the town, and wondered if you'd like to join us."

"We ship out at oh-seven-hundred, Sarris. Flying out while you're hung over is not a good idea, aside from the fact that it's against protocol."

"Sir! Yes, sir!" He grinned as he snapped another sharp salute. "None of us intend to get drunk. But there's a nice little spot near the University -- a real friendly atmosphere for drinking, and pretty ladies to dance with. It'll be our last chance for a long time; what d'you say?"

"I say the younger men might enjoy it, but you and I are a bit too old for college girls. And what would your wife say?"

Vinnie shrugged. "She knows I like to party, but I never go home with any girl but her. And it's not like I can hop down to San Diego for the night. TDY sucks, but Alice is a military wife; she knows I'll come back to her as soon as I can.

"In the meantime," he continued, "not all of the ladies at 'The Dancing Queen' are college girls; it attracts gals and guys up to our age, and older. You'll have a good time, Captain, I promise -- and you need to loosen up before the mission. Are you game?"

Ellison raised a bemused eyebrow. "Do you really expect me to be comfortable in a place called 'The Dancing Queen'? What -- no beer, just little colored drinks with cute paper umbrellas sticking out the top? No, thanks."

"No, Captain, it's not like that," Sarris earnestly assured him. "Yeah, I guess maybe the owner listened to too much ABBA, but the name doesn't change what's inside -- friendly atmosphere, good music, good drinks, billiards or darts in a side room if you want to play, and pretty ladies just looking for a good time. How can you beat that? It's way better than sitting alone in your quarters, trying to figure out how we're supposed to turn a bunch of illiterate savages into an organized militia capable of fighting the drug-runners. So come on; party tonight, plan tomorrow while we're stuck on a long flight. Sound good?"

Ellison capitulated. "Sounds good -- on one condition. For tonight, we're not captain, sergeant, or privates; we're Jim, Vinnie, Hank, Sammy and Pete. Got that?" He nudged his friend with an elbow and got an answering nod as they headed toward the door to gather the rest of the team.




Tommy Baker poked his head in the open door of Blair's dorm room. "Hey, Sandburg, you are coming with us to 'The Dancing Queen' tonight, aren't you? Melissa said she'd bring Gena along," he added with a knowing leer.

"Oh, yeah, man, I am so there; just finished my big Anthro paper and I am ready to par-tay!" he crowed. "And I'm thinkin' I can demonstrate some of my 'native tribal dance moves' to the gals." He essayed a practice hip-shimmy, and grinned at the look of revulsion on his friend's face. "Hey, don't knock it! I gotta have something to stack up against the jocks, and practically everybody bein' older'n me. Besides, I like to dance, and they won't serve me beer till I'm twenty-one; it's way better than sittin' around like a geek."

"Sandburg, in case you missed the memo, you are a geek," Tommy reminded him. "But you don't show off with it, and you're one of the funnest geeks we know, so we don't mind you coming along. Maybe some of that 'lady-magnetism' you seem to have will spread to the rest of us."

"Right; in your dreams," Blair laughed. "Hasn't anyone ever told you that some of us are born to greatness, and the rest of you can only aspire to it?" He spread his arms with a shoulder-shimmy that traveled upward and caused his long curls to bounce around his face. "You can study at my feet, but you'll never be as great as the master."

"Uh-huh, and tomorrow night I'll win the lottery. Meanwhile, you'll be so busy bopping to the music that you won't notice the rest of us scooping up the disappointed girls you're not dancing with. So save your fancy moves for the dance-floor, grab your coat and let's go; we're all meeting in the quad in five minutes."

"I'm comin', man, I'm comin'; Naomi Sandburg didn't raise any slugs." Together, they headed for the stairs, and a typical collegiate Friday night.




By unconscious and unrecognized habit, Ellison and his men grabbed a table in the far corner of the room. Aided by sitting in the raised dining section -- up three steps -- they would be able to observe the entire room and, with their backs to a solid wall, no unpleasant surprises would be able to sneak up on them. They ordered beers and snacks, then settled back to survey the terrain before making their moves.

Ellison noted that the place seemed to be well-managed. Despite the high spirits and the youth of many of the dancers, the bouncer had no reason to exercise his muscles; it seemed that a quiet word in the ear to anyone who appeared to be getting argumentative was enough to engender a cease-fire, and the combatants resolved their differences. Some of the clientele seemed awfully young, though...

"How does the management get away with serving drinks to minors?" he asked Sarris. "I thought the cops came down hard on anyone serving booze to underage kids."

"They don't," Vinnie assured him. "This place is really careful to check out everyone's ID. You saw it with Pete; everyone here is at least twenty-one, or a student at Rainier. If they're not yet twenty-one, they get an ink-stamp on the back of their hand, and if they have a stamp, they can only get non-alcoholic drinks. The kids don't seem to push it much; no other place accommodates them so readily, and they don't want to lose it.

"And now if you'll excuse me, I see a couple of ladies sittin' over there who look like they really need a dance. Sammy, you comin' with me?"

Ellison shook his head in amazement -- how did Sarris know this stuff? -- as he watched his men approach their targets. The ladies were apparently agreeable, and they were soon paired off and dancing to a song that he didn't even recognize.

He traded tall tales with Hank and Pete for awhile, until they, too, went to entice some young lovelies to dance. "C'mon, Cap," Pete urged before he left. "We're s'posed to be havin' fun tonight. Just look at all them gals waitin' for a tall, dark, handsome stranger to ask them to dance, and you're the answer to their prayers; how can you disappoint 'em?"

"Mainly because this isn't my style of music; I don't want look a fool out there. You go and uphold the image of the U.S. Army; I'll just sit here and watch the show." He grinned as he waved them off, then sat back to nurse his beer.

And it was entertaining, he decided, as he watched healthy young men and women enjoying themselves; he couldn't remember ever being that carefree, himself. Perhaps because only half of the crowd was old enough for alcohol, the atmosphere seemed livelier, but at the same time less frantic than at similar establishments he'd visited in the past. A local band -- they looked like college kids themselves -- provided the music, which was loud, but not at headache-inducing levels. The mix of colors that adorned the men as much as the women changed and rearranged in patterns as the dancing progressed, reminding him of the kaleidoscopes that had entranced him as a child.

As he watched the crowd, Ellison's gaze was drawn more and more often to one young man who seemed the epitome of lighthearted enjoyment. The kid looked barely sixteen although, according to Sarris, he had to be old enough to be a student at Rainier to be allowed in the door. Probably a freshman, Ellison decided, and quite a little peacock.

The kid had glossy chestnut hair falling in wild curls to his shoulders, and a brilliant smile that he bestowed on anyone who crossed his path; he exuded a joi de vivre that spread to everyone in his vicinity. He was wearing a white, loose, gauzy kind of shirt with billowing sleeves; the neck was open in a deep V, with dark chest hair peeking out. Bet he's real proud of that! Ellison thought in silent amusement. A pair of skin-tight jeans that left little to the imagination -- He's really advertising, there, Ellison mused -- completed the young man's attire; he'd obviously come intending to 'party hearty'.

The kid seemed happy to dance with anyone in the place, Ellison noted, male or female. Bisexual? he wondered to himself; there were half-a-dozen same-sex couples in the crowd, and no one seemed to care. Ah, the freedom of youth, he thought. And when the hell did I get old enough to think like that?

But careful watching indicated only restrained flirting with the female partners, and none at all with the males. Nah; the kid just likes to dance, doesn't care who with, he decided, noting the dazzling, enthusiastic smile that greeted each new partner. Ellison ordered another beer, let his gaze roam until he located and checked on each of his men, then continued watching the show.




The music ended and the band leader announced a fifteen-minute break so that the musicians could rest and refresh themselves. In high good humor, the dancers separated into pairs and groups and sought out some refreshment for themselves.

Blair collapsed into a chair at one of the larger tables and grabbed a napkin to mop his forehead. He grinned at the five males and eight females who had joined him. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "The place sure is jumpin' tonight! I need a little liquid pick-me-up before the band comes back, and maybe an incentive to get me back out on the floor. Gena, what d'you say?" He waggled his eyebrows and gave a mock leer that was neither given, nor taken, seriously.

Gena merely snorted and gave him an equally mock punch to the shoulder. "Knock it off, Blair; you're not fooling anyone. The only thing that would keep you from dancing is if you found one of your mythical sentinels, and followed it home. And besides, you're supposed to teach us that group dance you learned in Yemen."

"Not mythical." Blair made his usual protest by rote, unwilling to visit the argument again. "I'll find a sentinel one of these days." He spoke quickly to forestall the rebuttal he knew she was forming. "Till then let's have a few drinks and rest a bit. When the band comes back I'll see if they know anything like a polka, and we'll improvise."

Jerry protested. "Oh, come on, polka? You might as well try to get us into clog-dancing. It ain't gonna fly."

"Only the music is polka-ish," Blair explained patiently. "The movements are more like a line-dance, but in a circle. I'll lay odds you'll like it -- each guy gets to dance with each girl in the group, and every gal with every guy. Win-win for everybody, don't you think?" He winked broadly.




Ellison ordered another coffee; he'd switched from beer two hours ago when he'd realized that it would be up to him to serve as designated driver, or else they'd have to take a cab back to the base. The charm of the evening had long since worn off; his tolerance for the loud music was fading fast, and it was a strain to keep tabs on his men in the dim lighting. The only thing that was even remotely entertaining anymore was watching the handsome young peacock he'd noticed earlier. The kid could really move. The music seemed to flow through him as his hips and shoulders echoed the beat, his feet pounding the tempo, his hair flying as he spun on the floor. He abandoned himself to the pulsing rhythms, utterly unselfconscious and fully alive, his eyes sparkling with the sheer joy of movement and the freedom of the dance.

The kid's energy and enthusiasm seemed to have diminished not one iota over the past three hours; he never lacked a partner, had a dazzling smile for each, and rested only during the band's breaks. Even then he seemed to fly high, always the center of a large group, talking a mile a minute and waving his hands to punctuate whatever he was saying. Not that anyone seemed to mind -- the group members were alternately fascinated or amused by the peacock's exposition -- but Ellison wondered if the kid ever ran down. It might be fun to have him at a party, Ellison thought, but God help whoever has to live with such a motor-mouth.

The kid's current dance partner was a male who 'pinged' on Ellison's internal alert system. There was a hard look in his eyes, and his smile was just a shade this side of a sneer. But the kid didn't seem to notice; he was smiling up at the bigger man and chatting as they both executed the intricate dance moves.

The rhythm of the music slowed, and Hard-Eyes moved closer, grinding groin to groin as he leaned down to whisper in the kid's ear. The peacock's smile faltered and his eyes widened; he shook his head violently and tried to step back. But Hard-Eyes had a tight grip on the kid's hips -- a grip that would leave bruises, Ellison thought -- and continued to force the intimate contact.

Where the hell is the bouncer? Ellison wondered, searching the room. He couldn't see the man; maybe he'd gone to the john. Turning back to the drama below him, he saw the kid try unsuccessfully to knee Hard-Eyes in the balls. The bigger man just laughed and continued his low-key assault, seemingly confident that the other dancers were unaware of what was happening, or simply not caring if anyone noticed.

That's it! Ellison thought savagely, rising to intervene. Even as a child, he'd never been able to stand a bully.




"What the hell do you think you're doing, man?" Blair gasped. "This is a dance, not a make-out party!"

"You think you can shake that sweet little ass around and not have anyone notice?" Evan purred. "You've been flaunting it all night, and I'm just the man to take advantage of it."

"I've been dancing, you cretin! You understand the concept? Moving in rhythm to have fun, usually accompanied by music. There was nothing more to it than that." Blair could hardly contain his outrage -- or his desperation. He couldn't get loose from this Neanderthal's clutches... but he couldn't be dragged out the door without anyone noticing. Could he?

"Oh, there's a lot more to it than that, and we'll have plenty of fun with the rhythm I have in mind. So quit acting like an offended innocent and let's go somewhere more -- private."

"I am offended, you asshole!" Blair's anger was rising higher. "In the first place, I don't swing that way. In the second place, even if I did, force is not how it's done; it's supposed to be a mutually-agreed on, shared pleasure." He stopped struggling, waiting for an opening. "Pretty pathetic, that you can't find a reciprocal partner for your bed and have to take what isn't given. Must make you feel like a real big man, huh?" He twisted out of Evan's loosened grasp and aimed a knee at the bigger man's groin.

But it wasn't as easy as the books claimed; Evan easily sidestepped the blow, then reached out to grab Blair's upper arms, sinking his fingers deeply enough that there would be bruises in the morning. "Listen, you little shit," he snarled. "I'm --"

"You're going to drop your hands, step away from him, and leave this establishment," a firm, commanding voice ordered. "Quietly. If not, I'll be happy to throw you out."

Evan's eyes narrowed as he stared at the stranger in military drab who was trying to ruin his fun. No threat, he decided; the man was an inch shorter than him and twenty pounds lighter. "Yeah?" he challenged. "You and what army?"

The cool blue eyes facing him glinted with amusement. "I don't need an army; I grind up dirt like you and spit it out before breakfast. But if you insist..."

The music had stopped a couple of minutes earlier, and the people nearby were noticing the confrontation, waiting quietly to see what would happen. Out of the corner of his eye, Ellison saw Hank and Vinnie take up positions that flanked him, while Sammy and Pete moved to the other side of Hard-Eyes and the kid.

"If you insist," Ellison continued, "you'll discover that Rangers rarely travel alone, that we never back down from a fight, and that we get mighty pissed when we see a bully picking on someone who's smaller and weaker." He glanced at the crowd around them; several people were muttering angrily as they began to realize what had been happening to one of their own.

"On the other hand," Ellison said, "it seems that the army won't be needed. Why don't you discuss it with these good people; they don't seem too happy with your actions, either." He stepped back; far better to allow these young adults to enforce their own standards of conduct. When the word got around, boors like this would be less likely to try anything in the future.

Evan looked around, measuring the reaction of the crowd, and recognized a losing proposition. He thrust Blair away, violently, but the blue-eyed stranger moved in swiftly and prevented him from falling. Evan sneered down into Blair's face. "You're not worth it, you little shit! I bet you're a lousy fuck, anyway." He turned and stalked to the door while the disapproving silence of the crowd measured his every footstep.

As the door closed behind Evan the crowd broke into applause, and Blair's friends gathered around him, questioning and exclaiming. They urged him to one of the tables as the band started playing again, and the dancing resumed. Ellison nodded approval to his men, then they also collected their ladies for more dancing as he returned to his watch-post in the corner.




Ellison watched as the kid apparently explained what had happened to his friends, then seemed to shrug off their concern. His smile was only slightly dimmed as he shook his head, then escorted one of the ladies to the dance floor.

Spunky, Ellison concluded. The kid's got grit. Kept his head in a tight situation, too. He'll be okay. As the music ended, he glanced at his watch. Half an hour more, he decided, then he'd gather his men to head back to the base. He caught the waitress's eye and lifted his mug to request another cup of coffee.




Ellison watched in mild surprise as the kid took the coffee from the waitress, stopped at the bar to get another mug, then climbed the stairs to the dining level. He set one mug in front of Ellison, then sat down across the table and took a sip out of his own mug. He squinted across the table, apparently unable to see his rescuer's features clearly in the dim light, then gave a slight head-shake, as if deciding it didn't matter. The kid settled back in his chair, obviously prepared to stay awhile.

"Hi," he said quietly. "I'm Blair. And I want to thank you for... well, for coming to my rescue. That guy was just a little too big for me to handle, you know? Anyway, I really appreciate it."

"Jim," he replied. "And you're welcome. But I don't think you were in any real danger; he couldn't have dragged you to the door without someone noticing."

"Well, that's what I thought, but it was pretty uncomfortable anyway. And I know what it's like to be so involved in dancing that you don't notice anything else but the music and your partner; I'm not sure anyone would have paid attention unless I screamed like a girl. Not that there's anything wrong with a girl screaming in such a situation," he said earnestly. "How else would people know that she needed help? But between being smaller and younger than my classmates, and a geek besides, I have enough trouble getting any respect, you know? I don't need to look like a wimp, too."

He took a deep breath. "Anyway, things like that don't hardly ever happen here, even to the girls, but I guess there's always a bad apple floating around and you never really know, so I just had to say 'thank you'. And I gotta say, the way it only took one man standing up to that creep to lead everyone else into expressing social disapproval is really an interesting commentary on human dynamics; I think there'd be a good research paper in there, if I wanted to study it."

Ellison was astonished. "Some guy molests you on the dance floor and you think it's worthy of a research paper? You said you're a geek, but isn't that taking it a bit too far?"

The kid grinned and shrugged. "What can I say? Occupational hazard -- I'm an anthropologist. Or I will be in just a couple of years. The similarities and differences of the various human cultures is riveting stuff, man; I'll be studying it till I'm old and gray without learning it all. Of course --"

"Two years?" Ellison interrupted ruthlessly. He'd been correct in his observations; the kid was a real motor-mouth, and apparently was ready to talk for hours unless he was stopped. "Doesn't it take more than two years to get a degree, even for a geek?"

The kid ignored the implied disbelief. "Absolutely," he agreed. "But I started two years ago. I expect to get my Bachelor's next year, and my Master's two years after that. Of course, I could do the bookwork in a year, but there'll be several expeditions to go on, to get practical experience, and that time can't be compressed, you know? Besides...." He drifted to a pause at the narrow-eyed look of judgment on the face across from him, then started to snicker.

"Oh, I get it; you think I'm just a baby, a freshman, right?" He nodded at the lessening tension in the other man's posture, accepting that as confirmation. "Books and covers, man -- no judging, right? I'll be nineteen in a couple of months; started when I was sixteen, expect to have my doctorate by twenty-four. Can't get anywhere by standing still; the early bird catches the worm and all those other old clichés."

Ellison settled back in his chair as he felt his incipient headache start to fade. The kid was mildly entertaining, and his company would make the last half hour of this tedious evening pass a little faster. "So what's your payoff in all this? A guy who's working as hard as you say you are has to have some specific goal in mind. Fame and fortune by the time you're thirty?"

"Nah, that's kid-stuff," he insisted. "I intend to find a living, breathing sentinel, and learn all I can. You see, they're these guys who have heightened senses, and...."




An hour and a half later, Ellison and his men climbed into the jeep for the ride back to the base. The extra time had passed almost unnoticed; the kid certainly could keep a conversation going. But he'd probably never reach his life's goal; it was unlikely that sentinels existed anymore, if they ever had. The captain shook his head in silent amusement. Super-men with super-senses. How farfetched can you get? he wondered.




Because of the late hour, the men escorted the ladies from the parking lot toward their dorm. The large group walked briskly through the frosty air as they discussed plans for the rest of the weekend.

"So, Blair," Gena teased, "you spent a lot of time with that big, hunky soldier. Was he trying to start something with you? He might be worth crossing to the other side."

Blair snorted. "Get real! He wasn't 'interested' in me; that was just him being polite, and making sure that asshole Evan didn't come back. I mean, think about it," he continued, his hands starting to fly with the earnestness of his argument. "Can you see us as even plain old drinking-buddy friends? I know his type, and we're complete polar opposites. He's total by-the-book, buttoned-down establishment, and I'm go-where-the-wind-blows, do-your-own-thing anti-establishment. He's a soldier; he couldn't put up with me for more than two hours, and I guarantee I wouldn't have any fun being around him. Not that it would come up -- he said he's shipping out tomorrow -- but it's just ridiculous! There's no way we'd ever be comfortable together."

He shook his head in disgust as he rejected her suggestion, and told himself that the unusually intense rapport he'd felt with the big man was all in his mind. It's nonsense, he assured himself. Some people just insist on seeing a connection where there is none. How crazy can you get?



The End


Military Acronyms

PX - Post Exchange, a kind of on-base general store
TDY - Temporary Duty, a short-term assignment (up to two years); personnel don’t always take their families with them (depending on location).





The Dancing Queen,

by ABBA

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life.
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen.

Friday night and the lights are low,
Looking out for the place to go
Where they play the right music,
Getting in the swing
You come in to look for a king.
Anybody could be that guy,
Night is young and the music's high.
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine,
You're in the mood for a dance,
And when you get the chance...

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen,
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine.
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life,
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen.

You're a teaser, you turn 'em on,
Leave them burning and then you're gone.
Looking out for another, anyone will do,
You're in the mood for a dance,
And when you get the chance...

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen,
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine.
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life,
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen.
                    Released 1976




Notes: I selected the date because the Switchman episode says, "Captain Ellison's team disappeared March 14, 1988." Checking the computer's calendar, I learned that date fell on a Monday. The story has to take place on Friday (per the song). The Friday before that was the 11th. If it's a rush mission, I guess they could leave early on Saturday, and get to Peru in time to be shot down on Monday. *g* I think it makes more sense than using the previous Friday, and having them take ten days to get shot down over Peru; Rangers wouldn't travel that slow.



Author's Notes

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Title: A Word from Our Sponsor
Summary: Blair snarks, but Jim is amused.
Style: Gen
Size: 2,525 words, about 5 pages in MS Word
Warnings: None
Notes: March, 2003. Self-beta'd.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





A Word from our Sponsor

by StarWatcher





"Hey, Jim, gotta question for you. When was the last time the tag of a T-shirt irritated your neck?"

Jim looked up from the latest Robert Parker mystery he was reading. There was nothing on the tube this Saturday afternoon -- translation, no Jags game -- and, with all the chores finished, he had stretched out for a little escapist reading, resolutely ignoring the channel-flipping that Blair was engaged in from the other couch. He frowned over at his friend.

"What bee's gotten into your bonnet this time, Sandburg? I hardly think that my underwear is pertinent to your dissertation."

"No, no; nothing for the diss, man," Blair assured him earnestly. He was wedged comfortably in a corner between the couch back and the arm, a notepad perched on his knee, remote control in one hand and pen in the other. With a mug of tea on the coffee table in front of him and his glasses perched on his nose, he was almost a caricature of a 'scholarly grad student'. "I'm just helping out a friend in a Consumer Research class."

"Let me guess," he suggested wryly. "A female friend?"

Blair snorted. "That has no bearing on the question." Jim just looked at him. "Well, yeah, Tracy's a female, but it still has no bearing on the question. So just answer, man; do you get irritated by T-shirt tags?"

"Oh, yeah, Sandburg; I spend hours each day trying to escape the curse of the T-shirt tag. Can't tell you how many perps have escaped because it preyed so heavily on my mind."

The snort was louder this time, tinged with a mild irritation. "I'm serious, Jim. I'm working on a theory, and I need an honest answer."

"All right, don't get your shorts in a twist." He smirked at Blair, who merely rolled his eyes. "Well, if I remember rightly, I complained about it a couple of times, when I was -- oh, maybe six years old. After that, Mom cut the tags off all the new T-shirts before she washed them, and Sally kept it up after she was gone. When I did my own shopping and laundry in the Army, I learned to do it myself. It's a very simple process, requiring two seconds and a pair of sharp scissors. If you need, I'll teach you how."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Thanks for the offer, but amazingly enough, I also figured out that solution many years ago. Go on back to your reading." Blair made a notation on the pad, then aimed the remote control at the TV.

Jim returned to Spenser as he prowled through Boston, but now his attention was split. Each time he glanced across the room, he noticed that Blair was paying rapt attention to the commercials and taking copious notes. Every time the program returned, the channel surfing resumed until another commercial was found. Strange. Very strange. He resolutely turned his attention away and immersed himself in 'Small Vices'. Until...

"Yo, Jim, ever had any trouble pouring your cooked pasta into a colander?" The gaze that met his was serious, but... wasn't that a twinkle of mirth hiding behind the glasses?

"No, Sandburg, I find the colander an exceptionally easy tool to use. Do you need some pointers?"

"Nah, man, just confirming an idea. Thanks."

Now Jim was noticing the commercials, too. Asthma medication, lipstick, dish soap, upcoming feature, toothpaste, Wendy's, body wash, pain relief, kitchen cleaner, mascara, upcoming feature, fabric softener, Red Lobster, shampoo, tooth whitener, cookies, upcoming feature, macaroni and cheese, insurance, dog food, upcoming feature...

"Say, man, I bet you could teach me how to fold towels without any expensive tools, right?"

"It might take a little time, but I think even you could master the technique after a couple of lessons, Sandburg," he replied solemnly. "Now, are you going to explain these silly questions any time soon?"

"Seriously?" Blair seemed surprised. "I didn't figure you'd be interested."

"Well, I'm not really, but now you've got my curiosity up," the bigger man reluctantly admitted. "It'd be easier to ignore what you're doing if I knew what you were doing. IF you can explain in something less than a ten-minute lecture."

"Well, Tracy's writing a paper trying to evaluate what commercials say about our society, and what the average person thinks of them. It's an interesting subject -- ours is a consumer-oriented society, and there are so many products that do the same thing... and every product has to claim that it's better than any of the similar products. I think people are so used to inflated claims that they barely notice the ads anymore, or pay much attention."

"No!" Jim feigned vast astonishment. "You mean the Oral B toothbrush won't get my teeth cleaner than any other toothbrush?"

Blair's lip twitched; trust Jim to help him see the humor intrinsic in the subject. "Anyway, Tracy wants each of us to evaluate the trends as we see them... and I gotta admit that some of the trends are almost scary."

Scary? This was getting interesting. Jim put his book aside and prepared to enjoy the show; the script would be as good as anything on TV. "What? Frizzy hair is going to bring about the downfall of Western civilization? I can see where you'd be frightened by that prospect."

Blair just grinned. "Yeah, man, helped along by shirts that are dingy white, with dirty spots." He snorted. "All right, all right, I understand that advertisers do have to sell things. And most of it is harmless, and some of it is even useful. Like the new medicines that are shown... if a person isn't finding the medical relief that he needs, the availability of a new medicine could lead him to a discuss a better treatment with his doctor."

Jim didn't even try to resist. "Sandburg, you're accepting commercials for medicine? I'd think you'd rather rant about the lack of ads for herbal natural remedies. You're certainly ready to foist your nasty concoctions on me whenever you think you can get away with it."

"Bottom line, no money in it." Blair shrugged. "The drug companies can't charge big bucks for something that they didn't develop, so they ignore the low-tech methods. I'm talking about what I see, here, not what I wish I could see."

Jim raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Ah, man, you know what I mean. At any rate, between the Internet and health-food stores, people can find information about natural remedies if that's the way they want to go. You don't think I pull that stuff out of thin air, do you?"

"I wouldn't be surprised -- your brain inhabits a rarefied atmosphere, Sandburg." Jim ignored Blair's mock-glare and got up to head toward the refrigerator. "I think I need a beer to get me through the rest of this discussion; you want one?" Secretly, he didn't really want to stop Blair's exposition; it was an entertaining break in the quiet afternoon. Spenser could wait.

"Sure, Jim, thanks." He accepted the cold bottle from his friend, and watched him sit down again, seemingly prepared to listen to Blair's ramblings, even if he was playing a devil's advocate.

"So, what other fascinating facts have struck your fancy, Ben Franklin?"

Now it was Blair's turn to raise an eyebrow. "Oh, man! You planned that all the way back from the kitchen, didn't you?"

"Yep," Jim replied smugly. "But it doesn't change the fact that I'm willing to listen. Better take your chance and run with it."

"Yeah, well... One thing that strikes me is the outrageous number of products to improve our personal presentation. I guess it makes sense -- almost every species has some kind of preening displays to attract the opposite sex, and mankind is no exception. But geeze, over fifty percent of the ads are all about presenting a more attractive appearance. Whiter teeth, thicker eyelashes, softer skin, rippling muscles, fluffy hair -- with no gray, might I add -- all to improve the surface appearance in order to come closer to some artificial cultural ideal."

"Now wait a minute," Jim objected. "Commercials for the home body-building and exercise routines promote good health. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Not really. Uh, I mean they're not actually promoting health improvement. Take a good look at the ads sometime. Most of them are hyping a better-looking bod. Health benefits are pretty much ignored; the ads show gorgeous women falling all over the guy simply because he looks good with rippling abs and biceps of steel. They promote a firmer body, not a healthier body. The fact that the two usually go together is incidental."

"Isn't that a bit two-faced, Sandburg?" Jim suggested. "Seems to me that you've done your share of ignoring the plainer girls to go chasing after the prettier ones. You were the one who told me 'we're male animals'. So you can hardly fault a woman -- or a man -- for trying to make their 'package' more attractive!"

"Guilty, man, what can I say? I'm a product of my environment and culture, just like everyone else." Blair shrugged. "I can like the results; doesn't mean I have to approve of the underlying cultural pressure."

"But Chief, don't you think that if we tossed out all the products -- and all the advertising -- to promote a 'better-looking bod', there'd be lots of people out of work, and the economy would go bust?"

"I know, Jim, I know." Blair tapped his pen impatiently on the pad. "We can't change anything without changing the entire American psyche, and that's not gonna happen. But doesn't it strike you as just a tiny bit warped that women are expected to use layers of makeup to achieve a 'natural', un-made-up look?"

"Sandburg, until you're ready to cut your hair, I don't think you can point a finger -- 'preening displays', you know. And since you can't change society to suit you, why not just add it to your report and forget about it?" Jim swallowed the last of his beer and grabbed his book again; the subject seemed closed.

He should have known better.

"But that's not the scariest thing, Jim." Blair was flipping through his writing pad, checking his notes. "It seems that someone, somewhere, is using a lot of creative energy to develop inventions to solve problems that aren't problems. Take those 'Tagless T's. We have Jackie Chan going through amazing contortions because of T-shirt-tag irritation, while Michael Jordan stands around looking all-knowing and amused. Are we supposed to believe that neither of these men is smart enough to figure out how to take care of that oh-so-vexing problem?

"Or how about the oh-so-marvelous 'Flip-n-Fold'?" Blair's enthusiasm -- or was it irritation? -- could no longer be contained on the couch. He started to pace while Jim watched, slightly bemused. "The ad shows a sweater or towel lying on the board, perfectly smooth and wrinkleless, ready to be 'flipped' into a neat bundle. It doesn't show the time it takes to carefully lay the sweater or towel out in preparation for the fold -- time in which the item could already be folded up! Why would anybody design such a useless tool?"

"Well, some of those inventions are useful," Jim offered. "That mirror on the twisted wire so you can stand it up or hang it in odd places -- I can see where a lot of people could use that if the bathroom gets too crowded in the morning."

"Exactly!" Blair crowed. "Why aren't there more useful ideas, instead of things like..." he pounced on his notepad to scrabble through its pages, "...'Aroma Therapy Palmolive'! Does someone really think that adding lavender scent to dish soap will put housewives in a meditative state where they'll enjoy washing dishes? Not any woman I know!

"And get this -- someone is marketing a garbage deodorizer! Don't bother to take the trash out regularly, and clean the trashcan when necessary. Just use the spray to make your garbage smell better!" He shook his head, eloquently conveying his disgust.

Jim grinned; this was just too good. He couldn't resist giving a little push. "Sandburg, you've got it all wrong. Instead of complaining about stupid inventions, you should invent your own and start raking in the money. Think of something -- the more outrageous it is, the better it'll sell. How about..." he racked his brain, "...oh, an automatic candy-bag opener? You put the bag of candy in the device, press a button, and it tears open the package for you."

"What?" Blair paused, staring at his friend in astonishment. He noted the quirky grin, and his own sense of humor finally rose to meet Jim's. "Yeah," he conceded. "Yeah, man, I think you're on to something. Maybe..." He gazed into space. Jim waited to see what his fertile imagination would conjure up.

"Got it!" he exclaimed in satisfaction. "Pre-measured packets of bath salts. The bathers can avoid the horrors of using too much, and the company can charge three times as much for the same amount of product!"

"That's good," Jim agreed. "But we can do better. I'm thinking..." It was his turn to stare into space. "Right! Pre-soaped washcloths; use them once and toss them away. Not only can we charge more for the product, we can add to our overflowing landfills!"

Laughter was bubbling up, Blair's eyes dancing with delight. "Here you go -- a machine to remove the rubber band from your newspaper and open it up so that you can read. Every home should have one!" He collapsed onto the couch, chuckling happily.

"That's the spirit, Chief," Jim encouraged. "Before long you'll be an inventor to rival Ron Popeil himself, and cut yourself a large slice of the American pie."

"Thank you, thank you," he replied in his grandest manner. "When I receive all my awards, I'll be sure to mention your invaluable help." Blair used the remote control to turn off the TV and closed his pad with a snap; he seemed to be finished with his 'research'. "But you remember what I said earlier? Consumerism is the backbone of our economy, basically our whole society. We can't let all those advertising efforts go to waste, now can we?"

"What do you have in mind, Sandburg?"

"It's getting late and I'm getting hungry. Dinner at Red Lobster?"

"Sounds good. Never let it be said that I shirked my duty to society. Your treat?"

"In your dreams, man. I'll make an offering to the gods of consumerism, but you'll have to make your own contribution; there's only so much economic boosting I can do, you know?"

"Sad, Sandburg, very sad. Are you going to be this cheap when the big bucks start rolling in?"

"Jim, when the big bucks start rolling in, I'll open an unlimited expense account for you at the restaurant of your choice. Till then, you're on your own." He ducked the anticipated head-swat, grabbed his coat off the hook, and joined his friend as they headed for the truck, and the quest for dinner.



The End




Author's Notes

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Title: Letter to Blair
Summary: Jim writes an un-mailable letter. Post TSbyBS.
Style: Gen
Size: 4,850 words, about 8 pages in MS Word.
Warnings: Nothing permanent in here, but full of Jim-angst; you might keep a couple of hankies nearby.
Notes: Written Spring, 2003
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Letter to Blair

by StarWatcher





The leaves are green again, Chief. The second Spring since you left, and I remember.

The breezes are mild, and I remember how you would shed layers of clothing, and the way you'd lift your face to the clear sunshine, and simply enjoy the bright skies and the new warmth.

I watched two little kids feeding pigeons in the park today, and I remember your zest for life. You told me about each new harbinger of the changing season, gleefully announcing the first robin searching for a fat worm, the first butterfly flitting through the air, the first skein of geese passing overhead, the first hyacinth in the park. With my Sentinel vision, I can see so much more than you can -- but you noticed so much more of life than I ever did. I noticed the things necessary for survival, or solving cases; you noticed the entire rich tapestry of life.

Yeah, that's trite -- but damn, it's true. Even though you're gone, I'm still learning from you; I'm taking a leaf from your book and noticing the little, important things. (Hence, the pigeons in the park.) I remember how your eyes lit up when you described the time you watched the swallows return to Capistrano. I want to share that with you, Chief. The very next Spring after you get back, I'll take that week off and we'll go together, and you'll teach me to open myself even more to life and the world around me.

There are roses blooming in people's gardens, and I remember the first test you ever gave me. I did smell those roses from the next aisle over, even though I didn't believe it was possible. Even then, two hours after we met, you had such confidence in me, and in my senses. I never told you what a gift that belief was, did I? Even when I was complaining about the tests that you devised for me, your unshakeable certainty that I would be able to do -- whatever -- gave me an anchor in a crazy world, and the strength to keep trying to master these senses.

These senses. Surprisingly -- at least, I was surprised -- they didn't disappear when you left. Oh, I had some trouble for a while -- spikes, mostly, and times when the dials didn't work. To be honest, I moped around for weeks, fighting my senses, fighting our friends, fighting the whole damn world. I was on a downward spiral to self-destruction, and I didn't care.

No. More than that. I welcomed it. I thought I couldn't live without you, Chief. Didn't want to live without you.

But Simon finally sat me down and read me the riot act. He pointed out that if I let everything go, then I would be denying your sacrifice. He was right. You gave up so much; if I let the Sentinel thing go -- if I let my life go -- it would be the same as saying that your noble actions were meaningless.

Yes, Chief, I mean it... 'noble actions'. I know it now. I knew it then, but I just couldn't say anything. It was simply too big, too... heroic for me to face.

Shame on me. And I am -- deeply ashamed. Ashamed that I did not acknowledge your gift. Ashamed that I didn't try harder to help you recover from the blow of losing your dissertation, your place at Rainier, your reputation, your -- life.

Did I know, when I convinced Simon to offer you an official place with us, that you wouldn't be able to go through with it? That, even if you were comfortable with the idea of becoming a cop, the stigma of 'fraud' hanging over your head would make it impossible for you to gain acceptance at the Academy? That it would make working with the rest of the PD unbearable -- even dangerous? I think I did, but didn't want to face it. Simon made me see that, too.

God, I'm sorry Chief. So very, very sorry. There are no words for how much I hurt because of what I did to you. I'm hoping, though. Hoping that one of these days you'll come back, and I can prove it to you. I'll spend the rest of my life proving it to you, and making it up to you.

I've already started. About four months after you left -- and I had my head on straight again -- I went to the Police Chief, the Commissioner, and the District Attorney. I proved to them that I am an actual sentinel, and that you hadn't lied in your dissertation. Oh, there was quite an uproar for a while -- all very hush-hush and behind the scenes, of course. The DA delved into every single one of my cases from the time my senses came on-line and you started working with me. But every single conviction was upheld, without question and without a new trial. We didn't realize what we were doing at the time, maybe, but trying to keep my senses a secret meant that we backed up everything they told me with hard, indisputable evidence. So, sometimes these senses gave me clues that we might have otherwise missed, and sometimes they were the only thing that kept us going -- assuring us that we were on the right track -- until we could find the hard evidence that we needed. But, because of them -- and you! -- we always found the necessary evidence, and we were able to put away the scum that deserved to be behind bars.

After the bigwigs calmed down, they decided that I could 'keep using my senses in the line of duty', as long as I kept backing up the information I learned with solid, court-worthy evidence. (Ha! Big of them, wasn't it?) Actually, I wasn't too sure, for a while, that I wouldn't be dismissed from the force. People are frightened of what they don't understand and, in some people's eyes, these senses do make the freak I was always afraid of being. But I've come to realize -- finally -- that it's not my problem; it's theirs.

Sounds like something a shrink would say? Yeah, well... I've been talking with the PD psychiatrist. She's got a lot more savvy than I gave her credit for. It's hard -- I still have trouble talking about the stuff inside -- but it's helping. Now she wants me to write stuff down, to keep a journal of my thoughts and feelings. I can't. It's just too..... I can't, okay? But I can write a letter to you, and tell you all the things I wish I could say to your face. I know that, if you come back (please God, when you come back), I'll choke again. I won't be able to tell you this stuff... but I need to tell you this stuff. So, I'll write down everything -- everything I'm thinking and feeling, all the things I want you to know and understand. And when you come back (please God, not if you come back), I'll give you this letter. I'll give you... me. Unedited, uncensored, with all my flaws hanging out. I'm scared -- I never wanted anybody to see this deep inside me -- but you already know so much of it, anyway. You might have thought you were guessing about the 'inner me', but usually you hit the nail on the head. There. I've admitted it. And now that you know that I know, and accept it, maybe we can work from there.

You know what helped? The acceptance of all of our friends in Major Crime. When I knew (or decided) that I was in it 'for the duration', I told all of them about the senses and the truth about your dissertation. Of course, Simon and Megan already knew, but the others... suspected. You were good with the obfuscations, Chief, but I was careless too often about hiding what I was doing with the senses. The others put two and two together -- they are detectives, after all -- and, when you told the world that I wasn't a sentinel, they understood that you were trying to protect me, and realized what was really going on.

You'd be amazed, Chief. No, maybe you wouldn't, but I was, for the longest time. The support and loyalty from our friends is just... unbelievable. And humbling. All my life, I've learned that I could depend only on myself. My dad started the process, the army continued it, and my early years in Vice... well, you've heard the stories. That man -- the man I was before you came into my life -- would never have accepted help from anybody, would never have leaned on a friend's shoulder if the load became too heavy. Hell, he would never have admitted that the load was too heavy. You changed that. I always knew I could depend on you to help, to care, to simply be there when I needed a friend. How does that song go? "He ain't heavy, he's my brother." Yep; that's you to a T.

Oh, God, Chief, why didn't I realize it earlier? You are closer to me than any brother could ever be, closer even than most married couples. You have a large piece of my very soul, and you took it with you when you left. That's a good term -- soulbrother. (If it's not in the dictionary, it should be, and the illustration would be your portrait.) I miss that piece of my soul -- I feel empty without you here -- but I'm glad you have it with you. I hope it comforts you a little, wherever you are, and I hope it'll finally lead you back to me.

Where was I? Oh, yes -- our friends in MC have been behind me, propping me up, and not letting me disintegrate into the antisocial, repressed, self-destructive SOB that I could so easily be. They've all accepted the senses, and they're all helping me to maintain and use them. I shared your dissertation with all of them. They're amazed at what you were able to do to help me -- you've got quite a fan club waiting for you when you come back. And with their help, I'm still able to use the senses on a day-to-day basis. Not nearly as effectively as when I had you beside me, but at least I'm not incapacitated by spikes. Not too many problems with zones, either, but mostly because the senses don't work as strongly as they did when you were here. Just as well -- the few times I have zoned, they've had to get pretty... strenuous, to bring me out of it. Connor carries around a bottle of the worst-smelling perfume it's ever been my misfortune to inhale. Not quite as bad as smelling salts, but almost. And Brown figures the best way is a right cross to my jaw. Taggart's method is the least painful -- a good hard shake and a shout in my ear works from him. But being on the receiving end of any of these is not pleasant, so I just -- don't -- zone much anymore.

But even that comes back to you and your training, Chief. Maybe I depended on you too much when you were here. Now that I have to manage for myself, I can -- mostly. I can ground myself with another sense, to keep me from zoning on the 'seeking' sense. It works, just like you always said it could. But without you beside me, it's like... like an amputee walking with prosthetic legs. He's grateful for the prostheses, but they simply can't compare to the real thing.

You're the real thing, Chief. I ache for you to be back beside me. If I could, I'd get down on my knees and beg you to come back. I'd vow to never be short-tempered again, to not snap at you, to not complain about the tests, to always give credence to your suggestions... but we both know that I'd fail in those promises. Eventually, I'd start slipping back into old habits -- old dogs and new tricks, you know. But this I can promise, Chief -- I'll try. I'll try my damnedest. And you have my permission to haul me up, shake me down, and knock some sense into me whenever those old habits start rearing their ugly heads. And I'll listen, Chief; I will listen. I know now what not listening cost us; I won't let it happen again. I won't.

Where are you, Chief? What are you doing, how are you living? That postcard you sent from Tucson -- I turned the entire city upside down, looking for you. The police chief there is a friend of a friend of Simon's, and he authorized an APB for you -- obviously, with no success. I flew down and located the branch post office that you mailed the card from; I thought maybe if I was in the same place you'd been, I would find some clue, or feel some connection that I could follow to find you. Of course there was nothing. I searched for over a week -- checked cheap rooms where you might have stayed, talked to people who employ itinerant, part-time help... the kind of jobs I suspect you're stuck with, now that you can't claim your true credentials, and the kind of rooms you'd have to settle for because you don't have enough money. I suspect now that you didn't even stay in the city at all -- probably just passed through, stopping only long enough to make an anonymous mail drop, knowing that no one would remember one faceless man who walked by one day and was never seen again.

I appreciate the postcard, Chief. I do. Thank you for trying to reassure me, for telling me that you're okay. But -- I don't believe it.

That's no reflection on you, honest. I know that you've always landed on your feet, and I believe that you can do any damn job that you want to. But always before, you've had the foundation of... legitimacy. You had a background, an explainable place in the scheme of things, a niche in society. (Ha! After listening to an anthropologist for four years, even I can sling some of the lingo.)

Sorry. I'm being facetious. I know; it's a defense mechanism because it hurts so much to face what I did to you. (Like I said, the doc's pretty savvy.) When you were a student, it was acceptable to bounce from job to job; employers would understand that you would be gone in a few weeks because the next semester was starting, or the next field trip, or whatever. Now, without that foundation, I'm pretty sure that most potential employers look at you with suspicion. I'm pretty sure that all you can manage now is minimum-wage jobs... and I bet not too many of those, and not too often.

That hurts as much as anything, Chief -- the suspicion that you're scrimping by, living hand-to-mouth. Have you even tried to access your checking account through an ATM? I know the answer to that -- no. You've learned police methods too well, and you know damn well that we can get a lead on your location as soon as you withdraw some money. But if you ever do need the money badly enough -- if you're completely destitute and desperate enough to chance it -- you'll find that there's $12,000 in your checking account, and I'll keep adding more every month until you come home. Use it, Chief, with my blessing. Use it to run to the ends of the earth and hide forever if you feel the need. I'll understand if you feel that you can never face me again. But I'm hoping... dear Lord, I'm hoping that you'll use it to come back to me. Please come back to me, Chief. Come home. Please.

You've got a place here, just waiting for you. Your choice -- you can go through the Academy and be a cop if you want. Or, you can be an official, paid, civilian consultant if you prefer. Either way, you won't get any fallout from your 'fraud' declaration. Once the guys in Major Crime knew the truth about my senses, we all got together to figure out how to smooth your way back into the PD -- a way that would let you be recognized for the dedicated, courageous, man of integrity that you are. You'd be proud of the gang, Chief; instead of barging in with an 'in your face' attitude, they used insights of human nature and closed cultures that I'm sure rubbed off from you. What happened? We started a rumor campaign -- very subtle, very hush-hush, and very effective. Nobody admits out loud that I actually have heightened senses, but 'everybody knows' that they have a sentinel in their midst. It's a 'secret' that they're proud of, and one that they'll never pass on to 'outsiders' -- not even to civilian family members, and certainly not to the criminal element. And they also know that the Sentinel needs a Guide; the whispers paint you as a combination animal-trainer and magician, and they're pretty disgusted with me that I 'let you get away'.

I wish I'd opened up sooner, Chief; we could probably have avoided that whole dissertation mess. I was so afraid of my secret getting out, like it was something to be ashamed of. But now that everyone in the PD knows, it's such a relief. I can do what I need to do at a crime scene without worrying about hiding my actions from the average cop; they'll turn a blind eye to what I'm doing and help distract civilians so that my abilities stay hidden. And yes, the senses still have to stay hidden outside the Department. God forbid that the general public should know, or
-- even worse -- the military. I couldn't live the rest of my life under the glare of being a 'celebrity', and I certainly don't want to become a government lab rat.

Among those who must never learn the truth is Chancellor Edwards. We've seen what she would do with that kind of information. That woman hasn't got an honest bone in her body, and I wouldn't trust her to tell me the time of day. Besides that, she now has a personal grudge against me. With the help of Dad's lawyers, I backed her into a corner; got her and the University to admit -- (a) that you never submitted your diss, so they couldn't accuse you of fraud, and (b) that they had gone against your stated wishes by instigating the media hoopla, and (c) that your dismissal was unjustified and illegal. They (the U and Edwards) made a public apology -- I thought Edwards would choke on the words -- and reinstated your credentials. When you come back, you'll be able to resume teaching and complete your doctorate if you want. You probably won't want to -- that poisonous snake would almost certainly make things ten times more difficult for you -- but at least you'll have the good name and necessary credentials to get accepted at another university.

Did you see it, Chief? I made sure that it got as much coverage as the original media frenzy... well, as best I could. We invited all the same reporters, but the media isn't terribly interested in apologies, and restoring someone's good name isn't nearly as 'newsworthy' as destroying a reputation is -- so the TV spots were smaller and less hyped, and the newspaper columns didn't make the front page. Hell, maybe you're not even in the country now, or maybe you're so far out in the boonies that you don't get newspapers or television. But I'm hoping that somewhere, somehow, you'll find out and know that it's -- safe -- to think about coming home. There might be a few rough patches still, but I'll help you work them out. I want to be there for you, the way you've been there for me so many times.

Chief -- don't get the wrong idea here -- but I want to 'be there' for you, forever. I want to be your best man if you get married, and I want to be Uncle Jim to your kids. If we're not in the same house, I want to live right next door to you. I want to work beside you, and I want to play beside you, and I want to go on vacations with you. The Sentinel needs his Guide, I know that now. But much more important -- Jim needs Blair. I was a fool to fight against that truth so long and so hard, and it is the truth. Sometimes I feel like it was written in the stars, destined from the dawn of time... Jim. Needs. Blair.

It's selfish, I know, but I really hope that Blair needs Jim, too.

Maybe not as much; it's a frightening thing to need someone so much. I was scared of that need for a long time. To be honest, it still scares me a little, but I'm working to accept it and be comfortable with it. The doc tells me that we all need someone, and that we are not 'lessened' by needing another person. Intellectually, I know that; one of these days, my gut will know that, too. Till then, I'll try to be content with an unbalanced relationship; I don't care which of us needs the other more, or which of us isn't quite so 'needy', just as long as we're together.

Come home, Chief. I'm waiting for you.

I've made some changes, things that I hope you'll like. Had an architect in, and he confirmed that the walls of your room aren't weight-bearing. So I had the side wall knocked out, and moved it about five feet into the living room. Doesn't sound like much, but it gives you a lot more space. Replaced the futon with a proper bed -- you should be a lot more comfortable than on that lumpy old thing. Sold the old desk and got you a bigger one, with lots of shelves and cubbyholes to help you keep all your books and papers organized. Installed a second set of wall-shelves, too -- plenty of room now for all your books and artifacts.

I want you to be comfortable here, Chief; I want the loft to be your home, not just a place that you pay rent for. I've even kept all your artifacts as you left them; it helps me feel closer to you, and gives me hope that you will come back one day. Soon, I hope.

I know you told me to sell them, but I couldn't. For a while, I needed your things around me to keep from going crazy. Later, I realized that selling the things you treasured would be the same as rejecting you again. I've rejected you too many times, both physically (when I threw you out of the loft) and emotionally (when I gave your ideas short shrift and ignored your contributions).
I won't do it again. Never again. When you come home, your room is here, your things are here... and I'm here.

Do you still have your key, Chief? Do you know why I wouldn't let you give it back to me? Simple -- I wanted you to know that you can walk in any time. You don't need to knock on the door or ask permission; this is where you belong. It took me a long time to understand that, but I do now. I thank God that I recognized that before you left -- it kept me from saying something unforgivable. (Although, God knows, you've forgiven me so much; you would probably have forgiven whatever idiotic ramblings I spewed out.) But I would not have wanted to lay any more hurt on you; it would kill me if I had to remember that I sent you away with harsh words.

Did you know how much I needed to say 'goodbye' to you? I'm sure you did; you'd probably give me a lecture on the importance of 'closure' and not allowing hidden wounds to fester. I'm incredibly grateful that you didn't just leave a note and disappear into the night, that you gave us both the dignity of parting... well, maybe not amicably, but at least comfortably. As painful as it was to see you go, the memory is precious to me. Because there were no angry words from either of us, it gives me hope that, when the time is right, you'll be able to come back.

I just hope that the 'right time' will be soon. I'm counting the days, Chief, but I don't know when the counting will end.

I pray that you, too, understand that this is where you belong. You will always have a place in my home and in my heart; all you need to do is reach out your hand and claim it.

Truthfully; I'm not just using a figure of speech. I've actually been praying. Are you surprised? I am; I haven't been inside a church for anything other than weddings or funerals since Carolyn and I divorced; and before that, not since my mother left. But you would undoubtedly explain that it is human nature to seek the comfort of a higher Power when life becomes too difficult or despairing, and wouldn't be a bit surprised. (I miss that acceptance, Chief; that was another great gift that you gave me.)

Anyway, Simon dragged me to his church a couple of times -- I think he felt like he was on suicide watch for a while. His Pastor seemed particularly compassionate, and very wise, but very down-to-earth. (Or maybe that's not so unusual; I must admit that I don't have a very high opinion of the clergy, and I could be selling them short.) I've talked with the man several times; with his help, I've learned that I can ask the Lord for a favorable outcome without seeing it as begging. So I've been asking, and I'll continue to ask until you come home. And then I'll say 'thank you'.

I've even gone to Synagogue, to talk to the Rabbi. You and I never talked much about religion -- I don't even know how devout a Jew you consider yourself. But I want to have some insight to evaluate your actions -- our actions -- from a viewpoint that might mean something to you. I don't think I've got it right, though; you and I will have to have some long talks when you get home.

Yeah, I know. Too often, I've acted like 'talk' is a four-letter word. But I promise -- I'll talk to you, Chief; I won't shut you out anymore. But I need you to be here; one-sided talking just doesn't cut it.

Spring is here, and Summer is coming. Maybe the prospect of nice weather doesn't matter to you now; maybe you're someplace where you're warm and dry most of the time. And you've gotta be someplace that has less crime -- Cascade seems to have cornered the market, and there can't possibly be anything left over for any other city.

So maybe you think there's no reason to come back. And maybe you're right. But I've gotta tell you, you have friends here that miss you and want to see you again almost as much as I do. Major Crime isn't the same without you; everything seems... flat. Connor keeps making wild guesses about where you are and what you're doing. (If you've spent any time wrestling alligators in Florida, I owe her a ten-spot.) Brown complains that he's lost his best outlet for teasing, says that nobody else can volley it back as well as you do. Taggart walks around looking like he's lost a favorite younger brother, and wishing you were here to contribute 'those amazing behavioral insights' that helped us solve so many cases. Even Simon has admitted that he misses you. Not in so many words, of course, but he says he'll grant you a three-day dispensation from knocking on his door before you go in his office. (After that, though, the rules are back in force.)

Come home, Blair. Come take your place as friend, partner, guide, observer, consultant. Come fill the empty place in my soul and make me whole again. Come talk to me and tell me what you need. If you can't live in Cascade anymore, we'll go somewhere else, wherever you want. Note what I say -- WE will go. I'll never again leave you alone and unprotected to face the world. Together, Blair; I give you my solemn vow.

Just... come home, Blair. Please.



The End



The "Letters" Trilogy --

1. Letter to Blair - Post TSbyBS. Jim writes an unmailable letter. 8 pages.

2. Letter to Jim - Blair's letter tells Jim of his hopes and plans. 11 pages.

3. Moving Forward - Resolution of the two letters. 60 pages.



Author's Notes

Back to Title List



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Title: Years May Come, Years May Go
Summary: Major Crime celebrates with a friend.
Style: Gen
Size: 3,765 words, about 14 pages in MS Word.
Warnings: None
Notes: Written March, 2006, for The Sentinel's tenth anniversary.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Years May Come, Years May Go

by StarWatcher





Blair set the crockpot inside the sturdy cardboard box, packing it tightly with wadded-up newspapers so that it wouldn't shift or tip. The mouth-watering smells of his ostrich chili filled the loft; it would be tough to wait until the game started before digging in.

Jim finished slathering the melted garlic butter on two loaves of split French bread, put them back together, and wrapped each loaf in aluminum foil. It was a point of pride that everyone contribute something on poker night, so that the host wasn't saddled with the expense and food-prep time to fill the ravenous appetites that seemed to inhabit Major Crime.

"You ready, Chief? We need to get to Taggart's in time to heat the garlic bread before the rest of the gang shows up."

"Yeah, man, just give me a sec." Blair hurried into his bedroom. A few moments later, a triumphant, "Ah-ha!" echoed through the doorway, quickly followed by Blair himself, waving a handful of three-by-five file cards as if they were winning lottery tickets.

"I knew I put 'em in a safe place; I just had to remember what I thought was safe, two weeks ago." His satisfaction evident, Blair carefully tucked the cards into a corner of the box.

"What's that, Chief? A new surefire, never-fail plan for winning at poker? I'd advise against it; if you win any more than you have been, I may not be able to protect you from the angry lynch mob." Jim grabbed his keys and the loaves of bread, and waited somewhat impatiently for his friend to notice the 'hurry up' cues he was dropping.

"Aw, c'mon! You mean you wouldn't stand between me and them for like... thirty percent of the take?" Blair grinned up at his friend as he grabbed the heavier box.

Jim closed the door behind them and led the way to the elevator. "You want me to risk life and limb for a measly thirty percent? In your dreams, Junior. Besides, an officer of the law can't be bought; it'll cost you seventy percent."

Blair snorted in outrage. "Seventy! Jim, if you take that much, there's no sense in me winning at all." A calculating gleam filled his eye, as Jim waited patiently for the counter-proposal. "How about... fifty percent, and I bake you a coconut crème pie?"

"It's a deal, Chief," he agreed solemnly as they stowed their food offerings safely and climbed into the truck. "And if your system works that well, then we'll head to Las Vegas and really clean up." He raised his hand, as if taking an oath. "I swear to protect Blair Sandburg from irate poker players for fifty percent of the take and one crème pie per week. You also do chocolate and lemon, right?"

"Man, buying the ingredients for those killers will make a serious dent in my profits." He rolled his eyes and heaved a long-suffering sigh. "Okay, but only if you'll make a will so that your half reverts back to me when you die; you won't last out the year on that type of diet."

"Get, real, kid. We'll be in Vegas. Do you really think I'll leave anything behind when I go?"

"Well, you better leave enough for a decent funeral, 'cause I'm not using my money to bury you. I'll just dump your body in the desert."

"Sounds dangerous, Chief. I'll bet these sentinel senses will give me an advantage in the afterlife, too. I'll be able to come back and haunt you."

"Oh, man, you would, too." Blair scowled out the window at the passing traffic, affecting 'deep thought' as he rubbed his chin. "That's it!" he announced. "You're going to take half my money, you'll be underfoot whether you're alive or dead, and you'll have me slaving in the kitchen to make time-bomb desserts... it's not worth it. I'll just continue to play poker like all you mundanes, and skip the surefire, never-fail system."

"Atta-boy, Maverick," Jim chuckled. "I knew you'd see it my way, eventually." He grinned at the answering chuckle from his friend. "So if it's not a new poker system, what is on those cards?"

"They're for Salima. She's trying to cook healthier to help Joel lose weight, but she hasn't been too successful at finding stuff he actually likes. I told her I'd bring her some recipes -- low fat, low cholesterol, and guaranteed palate-pleasers. Joel really likes the chili; I think he'll like these others, too. You don't think she'll think it's too pushy, do you?"

"From you, Chief? Never," Jim declared. "Salima likes you even more than Joel does, and that's saying something. You're just lucky Joel doesn't get jealous."

"Well, if he didn't treat her right, he'd have reason to be," Blair said, conveniently overlooking the twenty years' age-difference between him and Salima Taggart. "I can't see it happening, though; they have one of the good marriages, don't they?"

He seemed almost insecure, looking for reassurance, and Jim reflected that Sandburg probably didn't have much experience with recognizing stable, long-term relationships. "Absolutely," he assured Blair. "Joel and Salima are solid; I can't imagine anything ever breaking them up."




Joel opened the door in response to the doorbell. "Hey Jim, Blair. Go on through to the kitchen; Salima's expecting you. I'll just finish setting things up in the den." He headed through an archway on the right, while Jim and Blair headed left; they'd been here often enough to know their way around.

In the kitchen, Salima was just pulling a shallow baking pan out of the oven. She set it on a cooling rack and picked up a knife. "Hello, boys," she smiled over her shoulder. "Blair, just put the crockpot next to the stove; there's an outlet to plug it into. And Jim, the oven's a bit too hot right now; it'll have to cool down for a bit before you put in the garlic bread."

"Wow, Salima; looks good and smells even better." After Blair had checked and stirred his chili, he'd gravitated toward the chocolaty smell. "But isn't it a little unfair to Joel? I wouldn't think brownies are allowed on his diet."

"He can have a few of these," she chuckled. "I got the recipe from one of the other teachers I work with; it uses applesauce and Splenda, so the brownies are lower in fat and calories, and much healthier. He won't mind the diet so much if he can continue to have his sweets."

"Good thinking," Blair agreed. "There are some dessert dishes in the recipes I brought -- blueberry coffee cake, acorn squash cookies, and a tiramisù that I swear you can't tell from the high-fat version. I brought some main dishes, too -- chicken parmesan and beef stroganoff and turkey lasagna and a really excellent marinated pork loin. And if Joel has some favorite dishes, I can show you how to modify them to be healthier." After he helped arrange the brownies on a serving platter, he joined her at the kitchen table. They sat together, heads bowed over recipe cards and cookbooks.

Jim, his presence completely forgotten, grinned at the sight. Salima Taggart was as friendly and easy-going as her husband, with a zest for life that rivaled Blair's; they had been fast friends since their first meeting. Together, they almost made him feel old. "I'll just go out in the den and help Joel," he suggested. Receiving no response, he shrugged and left them to their alchemy. They'd come out from under when the rest of the gang showed up.




With everyone working together, the food was soon transferred from the kitchen to the long table against the wall of the den. It was just a few steps away from the poker table, so no one would have to go far to replenish his plate. The garlic bread was a popular selection, as was Simon's mustard potato salad, and Megan's Pavlova disappeared in the first wave. She brought it to every game, and it had become a much-anticipated favorite. With plates piled high to stave off imminent starvation, they settled around the table for the real purpose of the evening.

As the poker game started, Salima sat in the easy chair nearby and pulled out her yarn and needles. She liked the mental stimulation of listening to the betting while she knitted an afghan to raffle at the next church bazaar, and she wasn't above looking over Joel's shoulder to whisper betting strategies in his ear.

During the evening, it seemed to Jim that Blair was unusually 'up'; there was an excited gleam in his eye, and he could barely sit still during play. That was abnormal, even for Blair; he was a good player, and didn't allow little clues to escape his control. Finally, even some of the others noticed.

"Sandburg!" Simon barked. "You're acting like a three-year-old with ants in his pants. Sit still, for god's sake!"

"What's up, Hairboy? You got the hots for some new lady?" Henri suggested.

"Sorry, guys, sorry," Blair said. He inhaled a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, then exhaled forcefully and settled deeper into his seat. "It's just... I had a great idea earlier, but I'll ignore it for now."

Simon grunted as he surveyed his cards. "Do that, Sandburg; we're here to play poker, not listen to another hair-brained scheme that you've cooked up. H, I'll see your bet and raise you five."

Blair settled down to the game, but the minute quiver at the sides of his lips -- a clear indication of repressed smiles to sentinel sight -- told Jim that the excitement wasn't buried; just put aside for a time until Blair could allow his glee to have free rein.




As they walked toward the truck, Blair's bouncing gait indicated that his long-suppressed excitement was ready to break free. Jim made a mental bet -- it was the theme of the evening, after all -- that Sandburg would be expounding his 'great idea' within fifteen seconds of getting his seatbelt buckled.

He lost; it took thirty-five seconds.

"Hey, Jim, when I was talking to Salima, she mentioned that their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary is coming up -- August eleventh. They were married in nineteen seventy-three, just a couple of months after they graduated from high school. Isn't that just so cool? High school sweethearts, and they've been together this long.

"So, anyway, I was thinking -- maybe Major Crime could throw them a big anniversary party, invite Joel's old buddies from the Bomb Squad, and Salima's teacher friends from her school, and the neighbors they're friendly with, and Dan and Serena, members from their church... I guess, basically, anybody they know. Maybe Joel's minister would let us use the church's rec center for a reasonable fee, and we could have a big cake, and everybody bring potluck. Maybe decorate the rec center with flowers, give it a sort of wedding atmosphere, you know, and hire a band for dancing... What d'ya think?"

"I think that's a lot of 'maybe's, Chief, but it sounds like a winner. Lot of work, though; will it be just us, or are you going to rope some other people into the project?"

Blair snorted as he shook his head vigorously. "There'll be no roping needed, Jim; people will want to help because making it a nice party will be part of their gift to Salima and Joel. I'm not sure how we'll plan it without him getting wind of it, though..." He subsided into thought, fingers restlessly tapping the dashboard.

Jim reached out a hand to still the fingers. "How about this, Chief? We really can't plan anything until we know where the party can be held. So why don't you see about booking the rec center or, if that doesn't pan out, maybe one of the big meeting rooms at the Cascade Hilton. When we know where and when, we could all meet for dinner one evening and make the plans, decide who does what."

"Excellent idea, Jim, excellent! I have two hours between classes tomorrow; I can go and talk to Joel's minister then. We have just four weeks to pull this all together; we'll need to get busy!"

"Make you a deal, Sandburg," Jim said as he pulled up and parked in front of the loft. "I'll do whatever errands are necessary to get this project going, but leave me out of the planning. That's for you, and anyone else you can rope into helping, you got that?"

"Yeah, I got that. If it was up to you, we'd just put a CD in the player and give them a card. Joel and Salima deserve way better than that."

Jim nudged Blair with an elbow as they headed up the stairs. "I agree with you, buddy; I'm just no good with stuff like that. Joel and Salima deserve the best, and I know you'll make sure they have it."




The 'Planning Committee' -- most of Major Crime, each one a staunch friend of Joel and Salima -- met for dinner at 6:30 at Uncle Guido's. With Simon as 'moderator', the basic framework of the party was hammered into shape over generous helpings of lasagna, chicken cacciatore and shrimp scampi.

Simon took a bite of chicken and pointed with his fork. "All right, Sandburg, tell us where we're going to hold this shindig."

Blair grinned, obviously pleased with himself. "We got the rec center, Simon; in fact, Pastor Davis is giving us a twenty-five percent discount -- he said it was the church's contribution to a joyous occasion, and he wants to keep Salima happy because she brings such good eats to their potluck dinners." Chuckles greeted that statement, along with nods of agreement. "So I booked it for Saturday the first. Their anniversary is August eleventh, but I thought if we had our celebration early, they could get away for a private celebration on the actual day, if they want to."

"Sounds good," Simon nodded. "Now, what about flowers, and what else will we use to decorate the center?" After a spirited discussion, Megan and Rafe were put in charge of acquiring the flowers -- preferably roses and lily of the valley, with garlands of ivy -- and Henri and Blair would help them decorate the rec center by putting up streamers and balloons.

"Streamers and balloons?" Megan asked, dubiously. "We don't want something that looks like the sock-hop scene from 'Grease'."

"Megan, it's a rec center," Blair explained patiently. "In other words, a big open room with no class or style. We can't afford enough flowers to soften it; the streamers and balloons will help. We'll do it tastefully. Besides, you'll be there to keep us in line, right?"

In the face of such sunny optimism, her protests died.

"Okay, folks, moving right along..." Simon paused and consulted his 'To Do' list. "The guest list. It's going to be big people; the Taggarts are well-known in this community, but we don't even know who-all to invite. We need to divide the task. Blair, you'll make inquiries among their neighbors -- discreetly, please! Find out who's friendly enough with Joel or Salima to be invited. And don't forget about family members -- siblings, cousins, whatever. Rafe, you talk to the principal of the school Salima works at, see which teachers should be there. Henri, you'll check with Pastor Davis; we'll just hope not every member of the church is a close enough friend to need an invite. Dan and Serena, I'm sure you can find who we should invite from within the PD. And Rhonda..." He had the grace to look slightly guilty. "Do you think you could select the invitations, and type them up as the names come in?"

She chuckled. "Simon, after working on budget reports, it'll be easy," she assured him.

"Thank you, Rhonda. Now," he gazed around the table, "who wants to tackle choosing the cake and the band?"

"Uh, Simon?" Blair felt a ridiculous urge to raise his hand, as if he were in school. "I think Jim could ensure that we get the best quality of cake and musicians." Discreet touches of his ear and nose indicated exactly how Jim would make his judgments.

"Jim it is," Simon agreed, ignoring the mock-glare that Jim cast toward Blair. "So, that takes care of location, decoration, guests, cake, and music. Guests will bring a potluck dish so that we don't have to feed all those hungry people. Anything else?"

"Yeah, um..." Blair stood, wondering a little uneasily if he was pushing things too far. "I was talking to Joel, and they never had a proper honeymoon; they were too young and too poor. But now they're established; they don't need gifts like toaster ovens or towels or whatever. So I was thinking... Well, I did some research on the 'Net, and for about four thousand dollars we could buy them round-trip tickets to Los Angeles, and a ten-day cruise on the Mexican Riviera. With as big a guest list as it looks like we'll have, if everybody chipped in forty dollars or so it would be covered, and that's well within the range of an average anniversary gift..." He shrugged in self-deprecation. "Well, it's just an idea; what does everybody else think?"

'Everybody else' thought it was an excellent idea, provided they could get around the crassness of asking the guests for money in lieu of a gift. Further discussion 'volunteered' Blair and Rhonda to construct an inoffensively-worded paragraph, to be included with the invitations, that would persuade the guests to contribute toward the cruise instead of bringing a physical present.

It was getting late; tiramisù and chocolate mud pie had been requested and eaten, and the pots of coffee were empty. "All right, people," Simon said, "we've got a good plan, and only three and a half weeks to get it all together. So get to it, and let Rhonda or me know how each part is going. Any problems, you sing out -- we don't want any holes in the arrangements. But I know you won't let us down."

With murmurs of agreement the conclave broke up, each person looking forward to the best anniversary bash they'd ever attended.




"Joel, would you come in here, please?"

"What is it, Simon?" he asked, sitting in one of the soft chairs in front of Simon's desk.

Simon poured two cups of coffee and passed one to his friend. "Well, Joel, we wanted it to be a surprise, but we couldn't work out how to get you and Salima there. So I'll just tell you -- your friends have conspired to throw you two a big anniversary celebration. Tomorrow night, you and Salima need to wear your fanciest duds, and the limousine will pick you up at five o'clock."

"But... Simon, that's not necessary," he protested.

"Of course it's not necessary. It's what we want to do. Joel," he said gently, "it's not like you twisted anyone's arms. This is a gift from your friends; accept it as such."

"We were going to have a quiet evening with just the two of us," Joel murmured.

"And you still can," Simon pointed out. "That's why we scheduled the public bash early; you can come to this one, and have your private celebration on the actual date."

"Salima will be so pleased..." Joel shook his head, as if awakening from a dream. "Thank you, Simon. We'll be ready."

Joel seemed slightly dazed as he walked through the bullpen. He didn't notice the wide smiles on the faces of his friends, or the way Blair elbowed Jim in the ribs, with the requisite retaliatory head-batt. He closed the door as he left the bullpen, but surely must have heard the cheer that erupted behind him. No matter; it was no longer a secret.




Henri had been watching for the limousine. As soon as it appeared, his strident whistle pierced the room. As arranged, the guests formed a long line at each side of the doorway.

"Dial it down, Jim," Blair whispered urgently. "And keep it down for the rest of the evening."

As soon as the doors opened, the band broke into a fanfare, and Joel and Salima Taggart walked down an aisle formed by clapping, cheering friends. Joel beamed as he escorted his beloved wife like the royalty he considered her to be, and Salima's eyes glistened with tears of happiness.

The evening was a blur of dancing, good music, good food, and friends' congratulations. Finally, Joel and Salima were urged forward to cut the cake. But first --

"Speech! Speech!" Henri shouted, and the other guests soon echoed the chant. "Speech! Speech!"

"I don't really know what to say," Joel husked. He put his arm around Salima to hold her close, and she leaned contentedly into the hug. "Just that I've loved this woman since the day we met. We've been married for twenty-five years, but I knew where we were headed three years before that." He smiled down at the shining face raised to his. "There've been some rough spots -- every couple has them -- but I wouldn't change a thing. No matter the arguments or tears, we always loved each other. I just thank the Lord that we've been together through all these years. And we thank you all for giving us such a memorable anniversary party."

The cheers and applause were thunderous. Joel and Salima started to cut the cake and pass it out to their guests. Finally, when everyone had a piece, and the noise had subsided, Simon stepped forward.

"Joel, Salima... You might be looking forward to opening your presents." He waved toward the gaily-wrapped gifts piled on another table. "Well, I don't regret to inform you that all those packages are empty; they're only decoys." With a smile threatening to split his face in two, he pulled out a slender envelope and waved it overhead. "Instead, all of your friends have contributed to this present -- a ten-day cruise on the Mexican Riviera. You'll be spending your anniversary in Acapulco!"

The resulting cheers made the earlier efforts seem like a whisper. Joel appeared stunned as he accepted the envelope from Simon, and Salima looked dazed. Joel waved feebly to the crowd, then reached for his wife and pulled her into a deep, fervent kiss as their friends continued to clap and cheer.

"We did good, huh, Jim?" Blair asked with evident satisfaction, a wide smile on his face.

"Yeah, Chief, we did real good."



The End




Story Notes


Lyrics Note: I did not build the story because of the following song. But, as I was writing, I remembered the song; the lyrics seemed to fit so well what Joel and 'Salima' would feel for each other (in my rose-colored glasses imagination). It's a lovely, lyrical piece, and expresses so well what I think we all, someday, hope to find. The title of the story, and part of Joel's speech, are taken from the song.

Years May Come, Years May Go

author unknown; recorded by The Irish Rovers

Let's take a look behind,
And see what we can find.
Last year has gone for everyone,
Passed with time.
What happened to us then
Can't happen once again,
And what's now all to me?
History.

Years may come,
        (Many years are still ahead.)
Years may go,
        (Many years have passed.)
Some go fast,
        (They belong to yesterday,)
Some go slow,
        (Still the memories last.)
Some are good,
        (Couldn't stop the laughter flowing,)
Some are bad,
        (Couldn't stop the tears;)
For each one,
        (Thank the Lord that we have been)
Just be glad,
        (Together through the years.)


Whenever I review
The lovin' times with you,
I wouldn't change a single page
We've lived through.
It wasn't always smooth,
Sometimes we'd jump the groove,
We've shed some tears and then
Loved again.

Years may come,
        (Many years are still ahead.)
Years may go,
        (Many years have passed.)
Some go fast,
        (They belong to yesterday,)
Some go slow,
        (Still the memories last.)
Some are good,
        (Couldn't stop the laughter flowing,)
Some are bad,
        (Couldn't stop the tears;)
For each one,
        (Thank the Lord that we have been)
Just be glad,
        (Together through the years.)


Heartaches I don't doubt,
Life's sure to dish us out.
We'll beat the lot and that is what
Life's all about.
Whatever may come true
Ahead for me and you,
Some day it all will be
Memories.

Years may come,
        (Many years are still ahead.)
Years may go,
        (Many years have passed.)
Some go fast,
        (They belong to yesterday,)
Some go slow,
        (Still the memories last.)
Some are good,
        (Couldn't stop the laughter flowing,)
Some are bad,
        (Couldn't stop the tears;)
For each one,
        (Thank the Lord that we have been)
Just be glad,
        (Together through the years.)



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Title: Letter to Jim
Summary: Blair's letter discusses, hopes, and rambles.
Style: Gen
Size: 7,300 words, about 13 pages in MS Word.
Warnings: None
Notes: Posted September, 2003. My thanks to Arianna for suggestions that greatly improved this story; it would have been vastly different without her input, and not nearly as good. Her support is deeply appreciated.
          As you read, remember -- we know what Jim said in his letter, but Blair hasn't seen it. This should only be a one-hanky number.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Letter to Jim

by StarWatcher





Hey, Jim,

How are you doing? Hanging in there? Senses under control?

Yeah, yeah -- like I could do anything from here to help. But I still worry about you, man, and feel like I'm shirking my duty. But you do know why I had to leave, right? Too much, too fast, totally overwhelming; I just reached the breaking point. No reflection on you, Jim, but I couldn't get my head straight while staying in the same place and same situation. I needed space, and time, to work things out.

Right. Get to the point. Well, that's kinda tough. I've started this letter about six times, and keep getting bogged down in -- caringness, I guess. I have to say some hard things, man, and some of them will sound like I blame you. But I really DON'T blame you. (Really. Even though... but I'll discuss that later.) And I don't blame me, either. Just, we both made mistakes and got caught in the undertow and couldn't fight our way out. So keep that in mind when you read this letter -- IT'S NO ONE'S FAULT. Got that? Okay.

So anyway, in the interest of actually finishing and mailing this thing, I'm going to ignore the little voice that tells me, "You can phrase that less bluntly," or "You have to find a better way to explain that." I'm going to just lay everything out here, however it comes into my head. I'll be as clear and honest as I can, and I'm not going to pull any punches. We're both grown men; we can take a few hits without falling apart. Hopefully, something good will come out of my meandering, and we can finally get things fixed up right.

First -- I'm doing okay. Better than okay; I'm fine. Not panhandling in stinking alleys, or eating leftovers out of dumpsters. (I know how your mind works.) I've landed on my feet, just as I always do.

I must admit, right after I left I felt like the whole world would recognize my name, and that I had to hide my identity. I used a couple of aliases -- Blake Sanders, Blade Sampson -- and even cut my hair to change my appearance. (I figured desperate times required desperate measures.) ::shrug:: It's growing out again; it's long enough that I'm 'that weird hippie' when I go to town. After awhile I realized that I was just being paranoid. Outside of academic circles, the media hype and my press conference was less than a dot on a page. If anyone read or heard about it, they promptly forgot; I haven't met one person who had an unfavorable reaction to my real name once I started using it again. (Well, except for those 'good ol' boys' who think 'Blair' is a sissy name for a guy. <g>)

That first summer, when I was still afraid of being recognized, I hid in what I figured was the least likely place to find an educated academic -- following the crop harvest, mingling with the migrant workers. That was an education; talk about closed societies! (And I turned that education into a paper that I hope to submit, some day.) Have to admit, the other workers were pretty wary and resentful at first; they figured I was a rich white boy just slumming and taking money that they needed to feed their kids. Living and working with them was an interesting experience, though; the strength of those people is amazing. They accepted me eventually, when they saw that I didn't expect any different treatment than they got. But the biggest breakthrough came from the kids. Somehow I became an evening summertime tutor, helping them get solid in such basics as reading, math, and English. It's heartrending, really; the parents know very well that education is the only way for their children to be able to step up in the world, and they make sure to enroll the children in school wherever they're working. But even if the local school system is welcoming and supportive (some are, some aren't), just the logistics of being constantly on the move makes the kids' education haphazard and full of gaps. Some of these kids go to five different schools in a single year!

After I finally realized that I could use my real name and official identification, I did various odds and ends for awhile. Trucking was good; it gave me lots of time to ponder and contemplate while I drove. Library assistant was even better -- all those books, and Internet access. (You can imagine how much I enjoyed that.) Later, when I found myself in New Mexico, I took a break from the real world and hired on at Clem Barstow's ranch; that's where I am now. He owns a working ranch that accepts guests for fishing, long rides in natural surroundings, and working the cattle. It's "next door" to the Gila National Wilderness, and in the middle of Apache territory. I'm in Heaven, man! The work is... elemental, basic, freeing. No matter how tired and dirty I am at the end of the day, I still feel a peace from interacting so closely with Nature. And on the days when it's my turn to escort any novice fishermen, the fishing is stupendous; Simon would bite his cigar in half if he could see the beauty I pulled in last week. On my days off, I visit the local Apache tribe. The Shaman is sharing the history and legends of the tribe with me; it's awesome stuff. He's been telling me stories of special warriors who could see / hear / smell farther than other men, although Standing Bear says such a man has not been known since his great-grandfather's day.

Why the hell am I rambling on like this? I guess to prove to you that I'm doing just fine. I know, I already said that, but I bet you're convincing yourself that I'm obfuscating to let you off the hook. No way, man; every word has been the honest truth.

Actually, I needed the time off; it gave me a chance to process, and do some deep thinking. I've thought about what happened -- how things got so messed up -- and I've realized some things about myself. Nothing earth-shattering, just ideas that I didn't bother to actually put into words before. They seemed too self-evident. But I guess sometimes it's necessary to acknowledge the 'self-evident'ness of things to crystallize our thoughts and move forward.

I feel you frowning already. Lighten UP, man! I swear to you, I'm cool.

My biggest, deepest self-revelation is that I really want to be the Sentinel's Guide. You do an important job, man, and it really charges my batteries to be able to help you. I like being a part of that, no matter what speed bumps (dead bodies, psycho killers, plain ordinary nutcases) we hit. I know, I sort of stumbled into the 'Guide' thing without knowing what I was letting myself in for. But now I do know; my eyes are wide open and this is my choice, not something you've roped me into. So if your immediate reaction is, "No, it's too dangerous," picture me IN - YOUR - FACE!!! I know the risks; they're the same hazards you face every day to do your job. I can live with those risks the same way you can live with them... if you still want me around.

This is the really hard part, Jim, where I have to lay it on the line and say some unpleasant things. There's a lot that affects me and you personally, that we have to get straight before we can move on. Remember -- everything I say here is not laying blame on you; it's just to explain how I feel, and point out some personal areas that we have to resolve. If we don't, we'll just end up going round and round in a similar dysfunctional pattern, and I'll end up out on my butt again. We need to deal with this stuff before we start. If we can't resolve these "issues" (sorry for the PC-ish terminology, but it's what fits), or at least agree that they need to be addressed and worked on, I don't see much hope for us as a team.

::sigh:: I swear, I feel your walls going up already. Come on, Jim, give me the benefit of the doubt. Have I ever made unreasonable demands, or expected you to turn into another person? Just bear with me, here, read with an open mind, and give real consideration to what I'm saying. Remember, I'm not being accusing, I'm just being as honest as I can and showing you my viewpoint. Your viewpoint may (probably will!) differ. But if we know each other's viewpoints, we can meet in the middle, discuss, resolve, and move forward -- hopefully with a partnership that's stronger and more solid than ever.

If not... ::shrug:: Well, hell... at least we can say that we gave it an honest try; no one can ask more of a friend and partner than that.

Okay, the main thing is, you're a strong, 'take charge' kinda guy. You were a leader in the Army, and you're a leader when you investigate a crime scene. You've learned to assess the information you have -- however minimal -- and react instantly because if you don't, the perp will get away, or the crazy will get the drop on you, or the mission will go sour. Lots of times, in your professional life, you don't have time to stop and think; you have to figure and calculate and plan on the run, and hope that your instincts are right and your actions will have the desired result. You calculate a worst-case scenario because that gives you the greatest probability of success. I mean, if it is worst-case, you're ready to meet it, and if it isn't, nothing happens, so no harm, no foul. This is not a bad thing; it's what's kept you alive probably more times than you can count, and I'm all in favor of you staying alive. I'm NOT expecting you to toss that behavior (information - assess - react) out the window.

But when you use that same behavior -- calculating a worst-case scenario -- in your personal life, it's gonna bite you on the ass. In other words, I'm sick and tired of you assigning the worst possible motives to my actions. That really hurts, man, and I don't need that grief anymore; we've gotta find a way to deal with that.

I know, I know... a lot of it is my fault. How long did I keep treating you as a research subject instead of a friend? All the times I mentioned 'book deals' and 'movie rights' must have set your teeth on edge, and made you incredibly wary about our relationship. I look back now and realize what a schmuck I was, how terribly unfairly I was treating you. I'm sorry, Jim. I don't think I ever told you that before, and I mean it most sincerely. I'm truly, abjectly, sorry. All I can offer in extenuation is that a combination of enthusiasm and scientific mindset gave me tunnel vision. It took awhile -- far too long -- for me to look around and notice the big picture.

But somewhere along the line, our relationship really did change from 'researcher and subject' to 'friends'. I guess I can't blame you for not noticing; hell, I barely noticed it myself, and still kept prodding you with 'research' behavior. Note that I'm not apologizing for subjecting you to tests for your senses; how else can we learn the possibilities of what you can do? Every added piece of knowledge increases your control and suggests new ways for you to use your senses more effectively. Keep that in mind before you decide whether or not you want me back in your life -- I'll be devising new tests until we're both old and gray. But I do apologize for the manner in which I conducted those tests. Scientists can get tunnel vision when they're on the trail of an idea. (Much the same way a detective does.) You might have thought that I regarded myself as the 'heap big all-knowing researcher', and you as the 'lowly reactive guinea pig'. I never felt like that, I swear, but I can see how you might think I did. I'm truly sorry, Jim, and I promise it'll never happen again. From now on, we'll be partners in the tests. You'll tell me what you'd like to be able to do with your senses, I'll make suggestions about things I think you need to try, and together we'll figure out ways to make it all happen.

But getting back to the personal reaction thing, and you assigning the worst possible motives to my actions -- enough, already! I've made a few mistakes (okay, a bunch of mistakes), but nothing I ever did was intended to hurt you. And yet, it seemed like every time I screwed up, if there were two possible explanations for what was going on, you chose the least flattering one.

No; that kind of blanket statement is unfair. You are one of the most generous, supportive people I know. You're incredibly loyal to your friends, and there were lots of times when you backed me up and gave me the encouragement or help that I needed. Which is why it was so frustrating -- and painful -- when you responded in the completely opposite manner.

You know, what makes this whole thing really odd (or really funny, take your pick), is that I'm a 'take charge' kinda guy, too. Duh! You think I could teach college students or help run expeditions if I wasn't? You think a wishy-washy guy could have overridden all your protests about doing the sensory tests and experiments? Nope; I've been standing on my own two feet and taking charge of my life for a L-O-N-G time. So... self-analysis time, here... why did I back down and accept the emotional crap that you tossed my way? Damn good question; not sure I have the complete answer even now.

Part of it was hero-worship, I think. There you were, "The Sentinel", my lifelong dream standing in front of me; by definition, nothing you did could be wrong. It seemed like, if I would've tried to -- moderate -- your reactions, I would've been subtracting something from your 'sentinelness', or tainting it somehow. (Hey, the subconscious mind is frequently stupid and illogical.)

Another part of it was the 'researcher' mindset that says we should remain detached and mustn't do anything that will affect the natural responses and reactions of the subject. 'Duh!' again -- as if moving in with you and bugging you about what you hear, see, feel, taste and smell (whether in tests or in the field) is remaining detached and not affecting the subject. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Maybe another part of it was -- forgive me, man -- the 'courtship behavior' that you once accused me of. I wanted you to like me, to let me keep hanging around, so I did what most people do in a new relationship... I "made nice", and modified my actions to the perceived wishes of the person I was trying to impress. I'm not suggesting anything hinky, here; the same actions frequently show up in new employees in the office, new kids moving into the neighborhood, or whatever. It's not reserved for courting couples; that's simply the best-known 'application' of such behaviors.

The upshot of all this is that, between the two of us, we managed to fall into a pattern that had us heading for a dysfunctional breakdown if I hadn't left. In general, you frequently jumped to conclusions, assumed the worst, and lashed out. In the belief that I was supporting the sentinel, I usually backed down or stepped aside, letting your words and actions go unchallenged. Finally, when the diss blew up in our faces, we were both too entrenched in the pattern to step back and look at the situation dispassionately. Not that we even had time for that; so much happened so fast that it was all we could do to keep up with the situation, let alone step aside and consider it calmly.

So -- I understand the mindset and reactions on both sides, but that doesn't mean that we have to keep traveling that same road. Fair warning, man; if I come back, I intend to change my role, and I would hope that you might consider changing yours. Just because we know where it comes from doesn't mean that we have to keep up the pattern. You can learn to consider my intentions before you make unwarranted assumptions; I can learn to explain my reasonings and give you the information you need to understand the situation and know where I'm coming from. We've been an awesome team, man; think how much better we'll be if we're working in tandem instead of at cross-purposes.

Damn. That sounds like I'm setting up conditions, and that isn't what I want to do. But, if we want our partnership to work long-term, we can't keep dancing the same old steps. You know, the old saying "it's water under the bridge" is trite, but very true. I look at it this way -- the past is just a story that we can either hold onto and angst about, or accept and move on. I want to let go of and forget about the bad stuff (except as a reminder not to repeat the pattern), and remember and hold on to the good stuff, and use it as a jumping-off point to a better, stronger partnership. We need to throw out all our old reactions and preconceptions about each other and start fresh, with a new song and a new routine. I'm ready to move on, Jim. Are you? Can we do this together? God, I hope so.

Second on my wish-list -- assuming that you do want me back and working with you -- I'd like to continue being a part of Cascade PD. I feel I made some good friends there and, truthfully, I've missed them almost as much as I've missed you. Major Crimes became the family I never had -- Joel the kindly uncle, Simon the irascible patriarch whose word he expects (but doesn't always get) should be law, Megan the bossy but well-meaning sister, Henri the family clown. Rafe and Rhonda are a bit harder to pin down, but they're part of the family too; I always knew that either of them would lend a hand or give advice if I needed it, as would any of MC. And you, of course, are the overbearing big brother, eternally sure that you know everything, and that your way is the right way. But I wouldn't change that for anything -- you're a very beloved big brother, and I'm grateful you came into my life. (Or I came into yours. Whichever.)

So I'd really like to remain part of MC and Cascade PD if we can swing it. I gotta tell you, being offered a permanent place as your partner was scary, even though it was incredibly flattering. I had to do some real soul-searching to work it all out in my head. On the one hand, I really do want to continue to be your partner, backup, and Guide. On the other hand, you know I don't like the idea of carrying a gun. Yeah, I know that most cops can go through a whole career without having to use 'deadly force'; but, man, I won't be partnered with 'most cops'. You draw the bad guys like honey draws flies; it's pretty near inevitable that, eventually, I'd have to use my gun to protect you or an innocent civilian. But then I think, who better to carry a gun than someone who doesn't want to use it? Knowing myself, I know that I'll always use other methods first, and the gun will be a last resort, used only when all other possibilities have been exhausted. It's not the gun that presents a problem, but the person (and personality) wielding it. I mean, you carry a gun without going off half-cocked (ooh! no pun intended) and shooting indiscriminately at everything in sight. It doesn't make you a less reliable or less stable person. So, okay... having acknowledged all that, and knowing my own soul and psyche, I've concluded that I can comfortably carry a gun in a career as a policeman and detective. You have my word, Jim -- I won't let you down.

But if we can make it happen, I'd much prefer to keep supporting you from the civilian side of the line. After all, it worked well for us for almost four years. And you know, there's lots of times when people -- victims, witnesses, whoever -- are more comfortable talking with a "not-policeman". If I could have some kind of official standing, being connected with the PD (hey, man, I need a paycheck!) but not an actual "policeman", I think we can continue to make use of that. And you know how often something I've been able to contribute -- from my knowledge of anthropology, psychology, other cultures -- has given you or the other detectives a new lead that helped solve a crime. Not that I wouldn't keep contributing that information once (if) I became a cop! I'm just saying that maybe we could capitalize on that and persuade the PD to give me a paying, official position as... oh, "Cultural Liaison"? "Information Synthologist"? "Analytical Synthesist"? "Specialist for Integrations and Correlations"? "Forensic Anthropologist"? Just something that's open-ended enough to let me "do my thing" but still sounds official enough to let me have a paycheck without raising red flags for the Powers That Be.

Then there's the problem of the people I'll be working with. I know the gang in MC accepts me and won't give me any real hassles (teasing doesn't count), despite my news conference. Besides, I imagine that you fed them some sort of story to explain away the use of your name connected with a 'Sentinel' article. (I saw the retraction story in the papers, about six weeks after it happened. Sheer luck; I was using a stack of old newspapers to line the cages in an animal shelter.) Otherwise, they would have wondered why you took such strong action against Edwards and the University. And I have some friends in other departments who I think will also give me the benefit of the doubt. But I wonder about the average cop from other areas of the PD, 'cause if they continue to think that I'm a fraud, cheat, and liar, working conditions could get pretty dicey. I worry about you not getting the backup you need because you're working with said 'fraud, cheat, and liar'. I would hope that, with the University news conference, that attitude has been dispelled. With any luck, they just think I'm careless and naïve, and are ready to chuckle, tease me about it, and move on.

But we need to be sure about this before I take any kind of position at the PD. I don't mind for myself, so much, but repercussions against me could easily affect you and your work, and even the others in MC. I can't -- we can't -- take that chance. So, somehow, we need to take the temperature of the Cascade PD as regards one Blair Sandburg becoming an official and permanent part of the 'family'. Maybe Henri, Rafe, and Megan could start a rumor that I'm coming back, let it spread around the station, and see what the response is. They could keep tabs on the overt reactions, and you could use your hearing to catch the covert -- maybe less favorable -- mutterings.

Don't shrug this off, Jim; this is a biggie. If I expect to spend the next twenty-odd years working with the Cascade PD, I have to be sure that I'm accepted as part of the tribe. Hangers-on around the fringes of closed societies generally have a short and unhappy career. There's no sense in my letting myself in for that kind of grief; if that's the way it'll go down, I might as well quit before I even start.

Damn, again. It still sounds like I'm setting up conditions, and I'm not. I'm just trying to be practical and realistic. Much as I'd like to come back to stay, I can't face it if I have to fight to prove myself every day I go to work. Sorry, man, I just don't have the "intestinal fortitude" to face that scenario. So I really need your input, here. Is this something we can work on together, or should I just continue to travel my own road?

Moving right along (I know, already too late, <g>), the third thing on my wish-list is that I really would like to finish my PhD and continue teaching, at least part-time. I can live without it -- hell, the majority of the population manages just fine without one -- but I worked damned hard for that thing, and I just hate to give up on it. Besides, I really enjoy sharing ideas and teaching something new; it's a large part of who I am. I've written two papers based on my observations while wandering; having those letters after my name will give me that extra cachet when (if) I submit them for publication in the Anthro journals. It would also be a visible 'proof' to the narrow-minded that I'm on the up-and-up; if the University granted me a PhD, then they'll figure that I can't be the 'fraud' I was once proclaimed.

Jim -- thank you. This will be so much easier because you already got the University to admit that I didn't submit the dissertation and that the media hoopla was escalated because of their greed -- well, not that they actually expressed the 'greed' part -- and that I wasn't a fraud. I can't tell you how much it means to me, man, that you would go to so much trouble to clear my name; it indicates that you won't simply run my ass out of town when (if) I get back to Cascade and try to hook up with you again. Well... probably. It could be that you're just trying to assuage whatever guilt you feel by giving me a chance at a new life so that I don't land on your doorstep again. But I don't -- I won't -- believe that. We've meant too much to each other, and still do. I can manage the rest of my life without being by your side, but I hope I don't have to. It leaves me feeling kind of empty inside. I'm thinking it's probably the same for you; otherwise you wouldn't have pushed the press conference. So, I'm ready to come back, if you're ready to have me.

Hunh! I'll bet Edwards was ready to shit bricks, right? Wish I could've seen her face.

Anyway, I turned our ongoing fiction into truth. While I've been on the road, I've actually written a second diss on police sub-cultures. The working title is "Tribal Guardians: the Function of Police in a Modern Society". What do you think? God knows, I had more than enough information floating around in my head. Right now it's real rough -- I'll need access to the notes I left with you to quote some specific instances (I kept meaning to transfer all those paper notes to the laptop), draw some statistical conclusions, find references -- but it shouldn't take more than two or three months to clean it up and put it in a presentable form, then submit it to the committee.

In general, diss committees don't like it when the diss topic is changed. But I don't think it'll be a problem; in their eyes, the media fuss will have completely invalidated the original idea. Also, one of the prime requirements of a dissertation is that the identity of the subject must be protected at all costs. Since my 'subject's' privacy was compromised, this is another compelling reason for them to allow me to change my diss topic. I don't expect to hear a single 'nay' vote when I oh-so-politely request that I be allowed to present a diss on a different topic.

I've considered that Edwards might try to stonewall the process, but I'll bet that she doesn't dare. Imagine the stink I could make if the university that officially admitted I did nothing wrong now denies me due process in submitting a diss. I almost wish some of them would make waves -- I feel an unhealthy urge to rub their noses in the whole sorry mess that they helped create. (I'm thinking, karma be damned; I must have stockpiled enough points to override such mundane pettiness on my part.) Frankly, a public apology and cancellation of all my school debts barely scratches the surface in the way of reparations, but I suppose a million for pain and damages would be a bit over the top.

By the way, thank you for that. (The cancelled debt thing was part of the report in the paper I read.) I know you're the one who pushed for that, and it's sure been a relief not to have that hanging over my head. I had been picturing garnisheed wages, and hordes of bill collectors stripping the Volvo for parts.

Okay, big guy, hold on to your hat for the last thing on my wish-list. Take a deep breath and remember that I won't do anything that'll cause you any grief.

Also, understand that this is something I can live without, if you honestly can't stand the idea. But it's something that I'd really like to do, so give it some careful consideration, okay?

Ready?

Another deep breath.

Here goes --

I want to find a way to get information about Sentinels into the public awareness. NOT by publishing my dissertation; after the media mess, I don't think any explanations can make anyone believe that the information is for real, and we've already seen the problems you'd have to deal with if everyone believes that you're a 'superman'. But I actually think that, if we do this right, it'll take some of the pressure off you.

What I'm thinking is, we make what I said in the news conference the truth -- I write a novel about a police detective with heightened senses, and how he uses them to help him solve crimes. His partner is a rookie fresh out of the Academy who just happened to minor in Anthropology before he became a cop, and he studied the theory of Sentinels in one of his classes, and figures out what's happening when his partner starts having sensory spikes. So, together, rookie and detective work to help the detective understand and control his haphazard senses. What do you think of 'Jack Ellsman' as a name?

We'll make it look all open and aboveboard. The Author's Notes will say that I took my admiration for the work the police do, misappropriated your name, and mixed those two liberally with speculations about what ancient Sentinels might have been able to accomplish, how they might have controlled their senses, and how that would fit in a modern police setting. Yes, I'll admit (with all due humbleness, <g>), this is the work that was mistaken for an actual dissertation, and I'll invite the readers to share the joke with me -- no man could have such heightened senses, but I hope they'll enjoy the story anyway.

It shouldn't be too hard for a publisher to promote it; all he has to do is tie it in to the dissertation / fraud scandal, and I expect that people will be flocking to read the book that 'caused all the fuss'. With any luck (because it seems that more people watch movies than read books, nowadays), it really will be picked up by Hollywood and made into a movie, or at least a TV movie of the week.

No, really; think about it, man. Hollywood makes everything so hokey, nobody believes that what they see on the screen has any basis in reality. So the audience will spend two hours watching car chases and shoot-em-ups, and then walk out thinking, "Well, it might be fun to have senses like that, but get real; do they actually expect us to swallow that stuff?" So if anyone even mentions enhanced senses, the speculations will automatically, even unthinkingly, be dismissed. A perfect example of 'hide in plain sight'. You're off the hook; if everyone is certain that there's no such thing as a... oh, call it a 'Superman of the Senses', then you can't possibly be one, can you?

But see, what I keep thinking is -- how many other people are scattered throughout the population, fighting their senses? There were two in one state that we know of. Could there be three in each state? Five? Ten? Let's take a nice low number, figure that you're not the only one, and speculate that there might be three Sentinels hiding within each state. So, somewhere, 150 people are trying to deal with runaway senses, or have already given up the battle. Let's not forget Canada, and increase the number to 200 people. And in the rest of the world... maybe a thousand people or more could use the help, though I doubt that a 'fictional novel' would travel that far. Maybe the information would dispense by word of mouth.

I can't help but wonder, what would you have done if I hadn't been able to help you deal with your senses? Would you have become a recluse, hiding away in the hills to avoid the over-stimulation of modern society? Would you have become a drugged-up permanent 'guest' of some psychiatric facility because the doctors couldn't ease your 'symptoms'? Would you have finally committed suicide to escape the torment? (God, I hate to think of that!) Hell, it might be a good thing that you repressed your senses in childhood. I wonder if a child with fully on-line sentinel senses would survive to adulthood with no one to help him understand his senses and guide him through their development.

On the other hand, maybe a child with sentinel senses would use them so naturally that he wouldn't be bothered by them. You've said that you didn't have any trouble before Bud died. Wonder if we might find any kids with sentinel senses...

Right. Back to the point. Anyway, I think this would be a way to get the message to those people who might be floundering. The thing is, even if it's presented as light entertainment, information about sentinels (that's more accessible than some hundred-year-old dusty tomes) could help someone over the rough spots. The story would include some of the glitches the detective runs into as he learns to control his senses, so our theoretical budding sentinel won't expect smooth sailing right from the start. It definitely would include the methods the detective uses to avoid being overwhelmed by his environment -- using dials, anchoring with one sense so he won't zone out on another sense, looking for sentinel-friendly versions of common household products, and having a buddy as backup for dealing with / controlling the senses. (I don't think I should use the term 'Guide'; it might make any potential buddy / backup feel inadequate, and that they don't know enough. Been there, done that, finally threw away the T-shirt.) But a story like this would show our budding sentinel that he doesn't have to be swamped by sensory input, that he can achieve control and remain a normal part of his family and society. Hope is everything, man; hope lets us keep going until things can get better, instead of giving up and packing it in.

So, what do you think? Could you live with this? I mean, sure, there might be a little attention focused on you for a while, but I think it would be really short-term, especially if we slant it the right way. Like, "No, I'm not a Sentinel; I'm just a damned good detective. Gotta admit, those heightened senses might be useful -- Sandburg has a wild imagination, doesn't he? -- but I can do my job just fine without them."

Would you prefer 'Joe Ellsworth' as a character name?

= = =

So there it is, Jim -- all the things I'd like to do if I could arrange my life as I want it (knowing that such control is seldom possible). I want to start fresh, build on what we had, and move forward -- together. Do you feel the same way?

God, I hope so. I hesitate to write this, because I don't want to put pressure on you. On the other hand, how can you make a valid decision if you don't know how I feel? So here goes --

The bottom line is, I want to come home, Jim. Home to Cascade, and Rainier, and the PD, but mostly -- home to you. And in a deeper analysis, we could ditch everything but that. If you decided you were tired of being Sentinel of the Great City and wanted to move to Outer Little Podunk, so tiny it's not even on the map, I'd want to go with you, because wherever you are is 'home'. Shades of Damon and Pythias, or Ruth and Naomi (the Biblical one, not my Mom) -- I don't feel complete without you.

I have to admit, I find this very strange. You know me -- I've moved into and out of peoples' lives for my entire life, and they've moved into and out of mine. "Detach with love" is how I was raised, and it makes perfect sense to me. People change, you can't hold on to them; it's better to let them go, or go on yourself, without stressing about it. Even Naomi, as much as I love her and know she loves me, was never permanent in my life.

But with you, it's something totally different. Knowing you're near (although 'near' is relative; me at Rainier and you at the PD is close enough, 'cause I know if one of us needs the other, he'll be there), gives my world a "rightness", as if it's cosmically destined. And maybe it is -- maybe Guides and Sentinels are meant to be lifelong companions. (Although if that's the case, Destiny sure waited long enough to get us together.) I prefer to think it's a Jim and Blair thing; as different as we are, we fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, or like yin and yang. I think, even without the Sentinel / Guide thing we could have been friends -- IF we had ever gotten together. That would have been tough -- you a cop, me a longhaired neo-hippie, and very little reason for us to run into each other.

Now there's an idea -- maybe the cosmic point is friendship, and the Sentinel / Guide thing was just dumped on us to get us together. (Oh boy, that's an idea you'll really like... NOT! <g>)

But you know, I don't care about reasons; I just want to come home. Is it still my home, Jim? Can I come home?

But hey, like I said earlier, no pressure. Maybe you're comfortable finally having me out of your hair, and you're dealing well with your senses, and you really don't want me dogging your footsteps for the rest of your life, or even another four years. No problemo, man -- just ignore the pathetic tone of the last few paragraphs and tell me, 'Sorry, Sandburg, you're on your own'.

No guilt-trippin', okay? Do NOT make any decisions based on what you feel you 'owe' me. You don't owe me ANYthing, and I'll be just fine without you being around to tuck me into bed every night. If the wish-list is out the window, I do have alternate plans. Life does go on, after all.

First, I figure I'll stay on the ranch through the winter. After the "guest season" is over, there's time to concentrate on training the three-year-old colts to become steady riding animals, and I've always been good with animals. I'm looking forward to winter in this area. The young stock will need hours of experience on the trails; riding through the trees, up and down the hillsides, through the meadows... even covered with snow, I think it'll be an awesome experience, renewing my soul. Or at least I'll have fun while freezing my butt off. But that shouldn't happen too often; I'm told that the winters are quite mild, and snowfall usually melts within two or three days.

Come spring, I think I'll go 'walkabout'. With Standing Bear's introduction, I should be welcomed to visit a number of different tribes; I want to keep studying the Sentinel legend. Even if I can't use the information now, knowledge is never wasted. Maybe -- years from now, after you've retired -- I'll write it up and see if it can be published as "Tribal Legends", or something like that. I think I could make it entertaining, and the information might trickle to someone who needs it. I can just see people with erratic senses seeking the advice of a Native American shaman, and the interaction helps to develop a greater tolerance and understanding between Indians and Anglos. (Yeah, yeah, so I'm idealistic and sappy. I can dream, can't I?)

After the walkabout, a couple of semesters at a university (not Rainier!) to establish my credentials, submit my diss, and get my PhD. Then, a visit to the Chopec. I'll devise some sort of study that will let me live with them for a year or so, without impacting their way of life.

Then... whatever. Hey, this is farther ahead than I've ever planned in my life. I firmly believe that we make our own fortune, and that everything happens for a purpose. That's not to say that the purpose may be clear right away (or ever!), just that I'll be open to whatever God or Fate or Destiny throws my way. So don't worry about me; as always, I'll continue to land on my feet.

Now I'm feeling really awkward. I find that I don't want to end this letter; writing it makes me feel connected to you. But all good things come to an end, so I guess I'll just quit. I've enjoyed "talking" to you, and getting all that stuff out of my system.

Now it's your turn. If you want me back, just say the word and I'll start making arrangements. (I'll have to wait until Clem can find someone to take my place; it wouldn't be fair to leave him shorthanded.) If not... well, at least let me know, okay? You have my address now, if only for the next several months. Just tell me which way my plans should go. I may be flexible, but I'd like to know which way to jump.

So... if I never see you again... thanks, Jim. I'll always remember what we shared. The good times outweighed the bad, and I'm richer for having known you. Take care of yourself, and have a good life.

Your friend always,
Blair



The End



The "Letters" Trilogy --

1. Letter to Blair - Post TSbyBS. Jim writes an unmailable letter. 8 pages.

2. Letter to Jim - Blair's letter tells Jim of his hopes and plans. 11 pages.

3. Moving Forward - Resolution of the two letters. 60 pages.



Author's Notes

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Title: Moving Forward
Summary: Jim and Blair finally do something about those angsty letters they've written. Sequel to "Letter to Jim" and "Letter to Blair".
Style: Gen
Size: 31,050 words, about 60 pages in MS Word
Warnings: None
Notes: Posted June, 05. Megan's Aussie-isms should be understood through context, but if not, there's a glossary of terms at the end of the story.
        My thanks to Arianna and Jess Riley for the many suggestions that improved this story. They also held my hand through the entire process, and gave me confidence to continue till the end. The hug is for Jess.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Moving Forward

by StarWatcher





James Ellison, premier detective in the Major Crime unit of the Cascade Police Department and Sentinel of the Great City, was tired. Exhausted. Wiped out. Drained. They had caught the latest psycho serial killer, but only after an all-out effort by the police department in general, and Major Crime in particular. It had been three weeks of increasing tension and sheer hell -- early mornings and late nights as they examined and re-examined the clues and crime sites, interviewed friends, relatives, and coworkers of the victims, talked with snitches, expounded ever more outrageous theories as to the motives of the killer, and planned how they could use those theories and motives to set a trap. Finally, after three days and nights of round-the-clock stakeout, their efforts culminated with the arrest of one Elwin P Hargrove, maniac extraordinaire. He was safely behind bars and, if the courts did their job properly, he would never again walk the streets of the city.

The paperwork would wait till tomorrow; Simon had announced that no one needed to report before 11:00 AM, so that all of them could catch up on some much-needed sleep. Jim had stopped at the deli on the way home; he planned to eat his sandwich, shower, and hit the sack within thirty-five minutes.

Shoulders slumped and eyelids drooping at half-mast, Jim tucked the deli bag under his arm as he reached into the mailbox. He was already contemplating the absolute peace he would feel as he climbed into those cool, smooth sheets and laid his weary head on the soft, downy pillow.

As he grasped the pile of bills and junk mail, the shifting air currents carried a much-loved and long-missed scent to his nose. Blair! Blair had touched one of these envelopes! His mind and body reacted as if he'd been hit by an electrical surge, every sense immediately alert and seeking.

Quickly, he searched through the handful of mail, and there it was. He ran trembling fingers over the address written in his friend's bold handwriting, as if those fingers could touch the man himself. He closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply, discarding the scents of the various people who had handled this precious piece of paper as it traveled to Cascade, until he breathed in only the essence of his guide. Blair was alive and well; his scent carried no hint of illness or distress. Jim opened his eyes to examine the envelope more closely. Thank God! Blair had included a return address. Jim would be able to write him, visit him, talk to him.

Hunger and weariness forgotten, he hurried up the stairs to the sanctuary of his loft. He tossed his coat on the hook and his sandwich on the table before sitting on the couch. He felt almost solemn, half excited and half scared. It had been so long, so very long, and he'd been afraid that this day might never come. Gently, carefully, Jim lifted the flap of the envelope and began to read.

An hour later, he surfaced from the world Blair had created for him. He'd read quickly, ingesting the meaning in great gulps. Then he re-read it slowly, contemplating the points his guide had raised. It was obvious that Blair still was his Guide; although he might claim sheer practicality and list things he wished for, almost every point he made was aimed at the comfort-level of the Sentinel. Finally, he read it one more time, simply absorbing the inherent feeling of the letter. Despite Blair's upbeat attitude, Jim's heart ached for the strictures that his friend had been forced to deal with.

But within every page, the friendship shone brightly. Jim felt the aching emptiness within him start to ease, a little. Blair wanted to come home, wanted to share his life again. It might take a little while -- there were plans to finalize, and he would have to talk with Blair to learn exactly how he wanted to handle some of the options -- but that didn't matter. Blair was coming home! Jim would talk with Simon in the morning, and start the wheels in motion.

Absentmindedly, he ate his sandwich while reading the letter for the fourth time. Still contemplating possibilities, he took a hot shower, then climbed to his bedroom. He carefully propped the letter against the lamp on his nightstand, so that he would see it again as soon as he opened his eyes in the morning. Finally, he breathed a sigh of relief -- Blair was coming home! -- and allowed himself to drift into sleep.




When he woke in the morning, doubts assailed him. Sandburg said he wanted to come home, but would Blair still want to work with him if he knew that Jim didn't merely want his friend, but rather needed him with an intensity that approached fanatical? Would Blair feel suffocated by his raging need? Sandburg was strong, but could he withstand the weight of perceived expectations for the next twenty or thirty years?

Jim sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the letter as he frantically searched for a solution. Too many times, when he needed someone, they disappeared. His mother. Incacha. Lila. ... Blair?

Maybe he could hide his abject neediness. If he found Sandburg another apartment, saw him only at work and the occasional social evening, he might be able to keep their friendship on the casual level they were accustomed to. He had lived without his best friend and guide for a little more than two years. Surely it would be enough to be with him only during working hours; they didn't have to live in each other's pockets.

He rose to get dressed, resolution firming within him. That would work. He'd find Sandburg a nice apartment, midway between Rainier and the PD, and school himself to act like a close but casual friend during their working hours. It had to work; Blair should be allowed to live his own life as much as possible, not constantly submerging his wants and needs to Jim's.

Jim carried the letter downstairs, intending to read it again while he ate breakfast. He was sure that, if he looked at it closely, objectively, he'd find confirmation that he'd just made the right decision.

But as he contemplated his guide's words again, Jim found his carefully-erected wall crumbling.

I really want to be the Sentinel's Guide.

Blair was aware of what being the Sentinel's Guide entailed. Maybe he would understand the neediness and accept it? Maybe he wouldn't even mind being needed.

Come on, Jim, give me the benefit of the doubt. Have I ever expected you to turn into another person?

No, he never had. So if the person he was, needed Blair Sandburg, did that mean that Blair could still accept him?

At least we can say that we gave it an honest try; no one can ask more of a friend and partner than that.

True. They should try together. He was willing to do anything for Sandburg; wasn't it denigrating to assume that Sandburg might not feel the same way about him? Wouldn't Blair be irritated that he tried to make this decision without involving his friend?

But getting back to the personal reaction thing, and you assigning the worst possible motives to my actions -- enough, already! You can learn to consider my intentions before you make unwarranted assumptions.

Another truth. Sandburg intended to be the Sentinel's Guide. Why was he making assumptions about his friend's commitment? Shouldn't he at least discuss these feelings with him, and see if the problem actually existed?

We need to throw out all our old reactions and preconceptions about each other and start fresh.

And here he was, running scared again, letting his preconceptions about how Blair might react cloud his thinking.

You're a very beloved big brother.

Maybe he should simply go with that. 'Brother' didn't have an unsullied connotation in Jim's mind, but family seemed important to Blair. And that 'beloved' was encouraging.

Wherever you are is 'home'. I don't feel complete without you.

And he felt the same way. So why in hell was he letting his fears and insecurities get in the way of what he most truly wanted?

Okay. Fateful decision. He would send his letter to Sandburg, the one into which he'd poured his heart and soul. That letter had told Sandburg that he wouldn't hide from his guide anymore; he would live up to that vow. After Blair read that outpouring of unadulterated need, he might decide to maintain his distance from Jim. But maybe -- just maybe -- he'd still be willing to come home.

Jim retrieved the carefully-preserved letter from his desk drawer and, with slightly trembling fingers, sealed it into an envelope. He addressed it, affixed a stamp, and carried it downstairs to drop it in the mailbox on the corner. Now it was -- literally -- out of his hands. He'd have to wait to see how Blair responded to this letter.

He turned toward his truck. He didn't know yet if he should announce that Sandburg might be coming home, but at least he could tell everyone where their friend was and what he had been doing. Jim grinned, remembering his bet with Connor. Blair hadn't mentioned anything about wrestling alligators.




Blair guided the sure-footed Appaloosa to the top of the ridge and reined her to a stop. With index finger to his lips and silent gestures, he motioned the half-dozen riders behind him to spread out alongside, then directed their attention forward. Below them, in a shallow, grass-filled cup, three white-tailed does grazed, their half-grown fawns playing nearby. Whispered exclamations signified appreciation as the guests reached for the digital cameras that most of them had tucked into their saddlebags.

One of the horses snorted and shook its head, bothered by a persistent fly. The does raised their heads alertly, poised to flee, and studied the riders above. After a few tense moments, they seemed to relax and, one by one, lowered their heads to continue foraging on the lush greenery. Blair grinned. It seemed to him -- and the more experienced hands had confirmed -- that the deer knew very well that hunting season was still six weeks away. After October fifteenth, it would be almost impossible to catch a glimpse of one during daylight hours, but for now, they were relatively complacent.

When the guests seemed satisfied with their pictures and tucked cameras back into saddlebags, he picked up the reins and led the group onward. Another half-hour would bring them to Talbot Falls. If they were lucky, they might see a bear or two in the rapids below the falling water, giving fishing lessons to their cubs. If not, it was still a good place to take a break and let the horses graze while the human members of the group ate the sack lunches that the cook had packed for them. And the Falls themselves were very photogenic; the camera buffs wouldn't be disappointed.




Ellison pulled into a parking space in the garage below Cascade PD and turned off the engine, then sat, trying to decide his next move. He'd need Simon's help to ensure that Sandburg had a position waiting for him when he arrived, but should he tell the other detectives now, or wait until everything was settled? His instinct was to wait, but...

Jim frowned as he contemplated that 'but'. Why this urge to keep the news to himself? The people of Major Crime were as hungry for information about Sandburg as he was. Yet here he was, acting like a kid unwilling to share a new toy. Would spreading the news of Blair's imminent return detract from his own feeling of overwhelming joy? Of course not. And Blair's friends would want to help make the arrangements for him to come home and settle into -- well, basically the same job, hopefully, but with a new title. They'd no doubt want to throw a 'Welcome Home' bash, and probably be upset -- rightfully so -- if they had insufficient time to plan it, simply because he was stingy with the information he had. But...

"But, but, but," he muttered to himself. "Sandburg'll kick your butt if you cheat his friends out of knowing he's coming home. So get off your butt and get up there and just tell them!" With these words of self-encouragement, Ellison climbed out of the truck and entered the elevator to take him up to Major Crime.

Once there, he gazed around the bullpen. He seemed to be the last one in; he must have been sitting in the truck for longer than he thought. Okay, no time like the present, before people started scattering to work on other cases. But first...

Jim crossed the room and knocked on the captain's door, waiting for Simon's customary, 'Come!' before he entered. "Sir?" he asked, still a bit ill-at-ease. "I have an announcement to make; could you step into the bullpen for a moment?"

The unusual request caught Simon's attention. He gazed sharply at his detective, noting the marks of tension in face and body-posture. Oh, hell. Had Ellison learned something that would weaken the case against the killer they had apprehended? Surely not. "All right Jim, what's going on?"

When the only reply was a shrug and a mute headshake, his concern grew. Grunting an acknowledgement, he followed the other man out into the bullpen. But there Jim stopped, apparently unwilling -- or unable -- to initiate his 'announcement'. Well, one thing you learned in 'Captains' School' was how to prod someone into action.

"Listen up, people!" he barked. "Ellison says he has something important to tell us." He crossed his arms and focused on his detective. Maybe his 'do it now!' glare would provide the impetus that Jim evidently needed.

With curious eyes pointing his way, Jim clutched the letter in his pocket to supply a boost to his confidence and managed to stutter, "Uh... Got a letter from Sandburg. He says he wants to come back."

He might just as well have announced the Second Coming. Work was forgotten as Blair's friends crowded around with eager questions. "When's he coming?" "Where is he?" "What's he been doing?" "How is he?" "What else did he say?" "How soon will he be here?"

Despite the confusion, Jim felt himself relax. Of course it was right to tell their friends. What the hell had he been worried about? "Uh, well... he says he misses everybody, and he wants to come back and work with us again. Says he's okay with being a cop, but he'd rather be a civilian advisor. Says he can come home as soon as his boss finds a replacement for him."

"So, what's he been doing, and what's he doing now?" Megan was insistent. "Come on, Jimbo, give!"

"Um, he worked as a trucker and a library assistant. Right now, he's working on a dude ranch in New Mexico." He grinned as he remembered his stray thought from last night. "He didn't mention any alligator-wrestling. You owe me ten, Connor."

"Just because he didn't tell you about it doesn't mean he didn't do it. You won't get your money till I can ask him directly; maybe you'll be paying me," she retorted.

"Damn; Hairboy on a dude ranch. With those curls under a cowboy hat, I bet he has the ladies falling at his feet. You think we can bribe somebody at the ranch to send us some pictures?" Henri suggested.

"Well, he says he kept it cut short for awhile, sort of as a disguise," Jim reported awkwardly. The group became still, remembering why Blair might have felt that he needed a disguise. "But he says it's growing again; enough that people call him a 'weird hippie' when he goes to town." There were quiet chuckles at that, and an easing of the minor tension that had swept through the group.

"Okay, people!" Simon interrupted. "We're all happy to hear the news, but we have work to do. Let's get it finished, then meet in the conference room at four. We'll discuss everything then, and put our 'bringing Sandburg home' plans into motion. This is still a police station, not a coffee klatch."

As everyone moved back to their desks, Simon lowered his voice to speak privately. "I'm happy for you Jim -- happy for us all. Now we've got to be sure we do this right, so he never feels like he has to leave again. We'll discuss it later." With a nod, he returned to his office to begin making phone calls. He didn't need to wait until four to start the wheels in motion.

Jim returned to his own desk, once again fingering the letter in his pocket. This was shaping up to be a good day.




"Hey Curly, the boss has a letter for you. He's holding it in his office."

With a wave of acknowledgement to Big John, Curly -- known to the world outside the closed society of the ranch as Blair Sandburg -- changed his trajectory from the bunkhouse to the office. After leading a six-hour trail-ride and helping to rub down the horses, he was in desperate need of a shower before dinner. But that could wait for a few more minutes. He'd had only two letters in all the months he'd been working here. It might be another letter from Naomi, but it could be an answer to the letter he'd sent Jim...

He knocked informally on the doorframe as he entered the large, casually-furnished room. "Hey, Clem, I hear you have a letter for me?"

The big man leaned back in his leather chair, apparently welcoming a break from the paperwork that covered his desk. "Sure do, Curly. It's kinda thick; I thought it might be important." He plucked it from the catch-all box on the corner of his desk and placed it in Blair's eagerly-waiting hands. "Sure hope it's not bad news," his boss offered quietly.

Blair's heart jolted as he confirmed the return address. This was a letter from Jim. Would it be good news or bad? He schooled his voice to casualness as he answered, "Thanks, Clem. It's a letter from an old friend; I expect he just wants to catch up."

He should have known that his boss wouldn't be fooled. The man was canny, with an intuitive knowledge of psychology; he understood his people and his livestock, and cared about them all. Clem gave Blair an assessing look as he commented, "You just remember, kid -- any help you need, you come talk to me. You're a good hand and a better man, Curly. Whatever it is, you don't have to go it alone."

With a lump in his throat, Blair nodded. "Thanks, Clem; I'll remember." Trying to maintain his casual façade, he excused himself and headed back outside.

He paused on the porch, considering his options. The married hands had cabins of their own, but the single men shared a bunkhouse. At this time of the day, it wouldn't be very private, as people came in to clean up for dinner.

Decision made, Blair folded the letter and tucked it into his back pocket, then strode to the corral. He assessed the animals inside. Old Blue hadn't been ridden today. Blair grabbed one of the halters hanging on the outside of the rails and slipped it over Blue's head. He quickly brushed and saddled the horse, while idly speculating on the mindset that would name a young dun, 'Old Blue'. Well, in a dozen years, at least the 'Old' would fit, even if the sandy-colored hide would never be considered 'blue'.

He swung into the saddle and headed toward the river. A couple of months earlier, he'd found a secluded glade nearby, out of sight of the water and surrounded by low-growing, bushy trees, an ideal spot for his evening meditations. He'd read Jim's letter there. Whatever Jim had written, he'd be able to deal with the resulting emotions in private, and get himself under control before facing the world again.




Blair leaned back against the trunk of the piñon tree. His gaze rested on Blue, eagerly cropping the green grass, but his thoughts were turned inward. He felt dazed -- stunned -- by the depth of emotion that had come pouring from Jim's letter. He had never -- never -- expected such a heartfelt declaration from the man. Realistically, he had hoped for gracious agreement, been willing to settle for grudging acceptance, and steeled himself for casual rejection. This was... this was simply unbelievable.

Blair turned his attention back to the letter, wanting to absorb every nugget of information from it that he could.

The first thing he noted -- he hadn't paid attention on the first read-through -- was that Jim had written this letter months ago, and apparently kept it until he had an address to send it to. So, it wasn't really a response to the letter that he'd just sent. But, if Jim mailed this after reading Blair's letter, he must still feel the same way. Mustn't he? Blair shook his head in bemusement and read on.

I moped around for weeks, fighting my senses, fighting our friends, fighting the whole damn world.

Well, hell. He'd been afraid of that. As much as Jim wanted to be self-sufficient, he also craved stability. Blair had hoped that his carefully-explained analysis of why he had to leave would allow Jim to feel some measure of control, and that including his friend in the decision-making would convince his subconscious that he hadn't actually been 'abandoned'. Apparently, the setup had been only partially successful.

But Simon finally sat me down and read me the riot act.

Thank God for Simon Banks. The man had a bark like a junkyard dog, but he was a true friend when the chips were down.

I went to the Police Chief, the Commissioner, and the District Attorney. I proved to them that I am an actual Sentinel, and that you hadn't lied in your dissertation.

You know what helped? The acceptance of all of our friends in Major Crime. When I knew (or decided) that I was in it 'for the duration', I told all of them about the senses and the truth about your dissertation.


Now that was a shocker. Why all the fuss about secrecy if the man was going to do a one-eighty turnaround? He couldn't have managed this insight before the diss disaster? Things could have been so different --

Blair drew his thoughts up short, aghast at where they were going. Where was all this anger coming from? Hadn't he dealt with this long ago?

He dropped the letter beside him, crossed his legs, and took a deep, centering breath. Blair had learned the art of soul-examination from Naomi at a very early age. Lately, Standing Bear had been reinforcing the lessons, and teaching him to go ever deeper. This wasn't hard...

Yes. There it was. A kernel of anger still flared brightly, directed at one Jim Ellison. The man hadn't trusted his 'best friend', had assumed that Blair would sell him out for the equivalent of thirty pieces of silver. That had hurt, deeply, and it still hurt.

Okay, he'd always known that Jim had 'issues'. But at least now he was trying to deal with it, and he promised to try to do better. Blair was taken aback to realize that he also had issues nagging in the background. But he had told Jim that he didn't blame him. So -- was that the truth, or just a polite social lie?

Blair stood beside himself and examined the anger, tasting its flavor and holding its shape in his mind. Then he evaluated the character of the Sentinel and the character of the Guide, as well as the characters of Jim and Blair. Was he just fooling himself when he declared that the anger could be forgotten, that it wouldn't come between the Sentinel and the Guide? Between Jim and Blair?

No. The anger had been justified, but it was no longer important, or relevant. He would not allow it to affect the spirits of Sentinel and Guide, or of Jim and Blair. Now that he knew it still existed, it could be handled. He would put the anger aside for now, but come back later to draw out its poison and lay it to rest. Perhaps Standing Bear would help him, since he hadn't been successful at doing it alone.

He picked up the letter again.

God, I'm sorry Chief. So very, very sorry.

That helped. That helped a great deal. Jim more often spoke with actions than words. Blair understood that, and accepted it. Words weren't really necessary. But sometimes words could provide a healing balm of their own. He would cherish these words, and use them to help vanquish the anger still hidden within him.

I ache for you to be back beside me.

More healing words. Jim didn't just tolerate his presence, or accept his presence; Jim wanted his presence, apparently needed his presence. It was a precious thing to be wanted and needed -- humbling, gratifying, sometimes even frightening, but deeply satisfying. Some might think it restrictive; it seemed that Jim was afraid that he'd react that way. Not so. Blair felt an answering need to be in Jim's presence, like coming home to a brightly blazing fire on a dark, cold night. Everything else was secondary; Sentinel and Guide would be together again.

You are closer to me than any brother could ever be, closer even than most married couples. You have a large piece of my very soul, and you took it with you when you left.

But this required some heavy thought. Blair nibbled a ragged cuticle as he pondered. Apparently, Jim's emotional -- psychic? -- investment in their friendship was stronger and deeper than he'd realized. On the other hand, he'd long been aware that Jim did feel things very deeply; he was just a master at hiding it from himself and others. But now... he had told Jim that he wanted to be the Sentinel's Guide. But was he considering a total commitment? Or was it just something he was planning to do until the 'time was right' to move on? He could easily give another five or ten years, but what about thirty? Forty?

He had to be absolutely certain. If he moved back with Jim, then left again -- whether in five years or twenty-five -- it would quite possibly destroy the man. Better to stop the process now, before it went any further, than to do that to his best friend.

Best friend. Still. Always.

Blair stared unseeing at a chattering squirrel as he pondered. He had told Jim that he wanted to be the Sentinel's Guide, and that he wanted Jim to like Blair, but he had avoided mentioning any deeply emotional aspects, assuming that Jim would not want to know. But in hiding his deepest feelings from his friend, he realized that he had also hidden them from himself. So... what were they?

All right. Give it a test. Blair deliberately set up a scenario -- his future without Jim. There were places to go, and things to learn. He was beginning to realize that, for all his study of the Sentinel phenomenon, he had barely scratched the surface of the information waiting to be discovered, or re-discovered; the more primitive peoples of the world still remembered what modern society had forgotten. He'd learned long ago that it didn't take much money to be comfortable while wandering from place to place and, if need be, he could take Jim up on his offer of the money in his checking account. (That had been an amazing little tidbit. He'd withdrawn all his meager funds when he left and never accessed the account again, 'knowing' that it was empty. It was mind-boggling that Jim would invest that much money to try to ensure his well-being and comfort.) He could get his PhD, go on expeditions, publish books...

Blair slid back into reality and clinically noted his body's reactions. His heartrate was up, his forehead and palms were sweaty, and he was short of breath, panting as if he'd been running. Apparently, his entire system rejected the idea of the Guide remaining apart from the Sentinel. Or of Blair remaining apart from Jim. It didn't matter; his heart and soul agreed with his body. Contemplating that scenario left him feeling empty and adrift, aching with a loneliness that couldn't be appeased. It seemed that he needed Jim as much as Jim needed him; he was committed for the duration. They had needed the time apart, and the distance, but no more. He was going home.

'Until death do us part'. He smiled slightly. If either of them ever married, it would have to be to a very special lady (or ladies) who could accept the sentinel / guide connection. Blair envisioned side-by-side houses sharing one big back yard, with a dozen children happily playing together while their wives commiserated with each other about husbands who had to be pried apart with a crowbar.

But this I can promise, Chief -- I'll try. I'll try my damnedest.

And that was all he'd ever asked of the man. If they were both actively trying to 'optimize their partnership' -- Jeeze, he admonished himself, can't you even talk to yourself without dropping into academese? Anyway, with both of them working to heal the cracks in their relationship, they'd be such a hot team that criminals would soon be giving Cascade a wide berth, as word went out that not even the most minor of crimes went uncaught and unpunished. Blair grinned at the mental picture of Jim as an 1880's Western lawman, leaning back in his chair, booted feet on the desk, cobwebs forming between his spurs and the desktop because there was no crime for him to deal with. Apparently, the world of ranching was seeping into his very pores; he normally avoided such stereotyped images.

You've got a place here, just waiting for you. Your choice -- you can go through the Academy and be a cop if you want. Or, you can be an official, paid, civilian consultant if you prefer.

His heart warmed anew as he contemplated that statement again. Realizing that Jim -- that all of his friends in Major Crime -- would go to such trouble to establish a 'place' for him was... humbling. Breathtaking. And totally unexpected. Blair really liked the idea of becoming a 'Socio-Cultural Anthropologist'; if nothing else, it would give him a lot of scope to define his own job description, and baffle The Powers That Be -- they couldn't complain that he was overstepping boundaries if they didn't know what those boundaries were.

Satisfied with his ruminations, Blair stirred, grimacing slightly as he stretched to ease the stiffness in his spine. Piñon trunks weren't the most comfortable supports. His eyes widened as he noticed that full dark had fallen while he was lost in his thoughts. It hadn't seemed to take that long to reach his decision.

No matter. Horses have good night-vision and a full moon was rising; Blue would get him back to the ranch with no problem. Miguel -- usually addressed, inevitably, as 'Cookie' -- didn't mind if hands or guests raided the refrigerator for leftovers. He'd take that long-delayed shower, fill his grumbling belly, and get to bed. In the morning, he'd tell Clem that he'd be leaving as soon as a replacement could be found to do his job.

Finally, Blair Sandburg would be going home.




Four o'clock, and the staunchest of Blair's supporters were gathered in the conference room. Captain Banks leaned back in his chair, surveyed the group, and called the 'meeting' to order. "All right, people, let's get this show on the road. Jim, did Sandburg say anything specifically about what he wants to do when he comes back?"

Jim was feeling considerably more relaxed than earlier. Somehow, just working on plans to bring Sandburg home made him feel that he was 'doing something' to accomplish that goal. His voice was easy as he replied, "Several things, Simon. He said he didn't mind being a cop, and that he could even handle carrying a gun, but that he'd much rather remain a civilian." He smiled at his fellow cops as he revealed, "He listed a whole bunch of high-falutin' titles that he figured would let him 'do his thing' while keeping the brass comfortable about his presence. Pure Sandburg obfuscation all the way. I don't think it'll make much difference which title we choose; he'll just inform anyone who cares that 'of course' that title involves these duties!"

He paused to appreciate the soft chuckles that passed through the room, then sobered. "But he is concerned about how the ordinary police will react to him after his news conference. Of course, he didn't know about our little whispering campaign; with the sentinel secret not so secret anymore, I don't think anyone will hold that 'fraud' declaration nonsense against him. But I think he's right to be worried, and people could be mouthing off when I'm not around. Have any of you heard anything that would make it tough for Sandburg to come back?"

There were pensive looks as each person thought about the question, followed by relieved headshakes as no alarming memories surfaced. It seemed that Blair would be home free, until Henri spoke up.

"Yeah, I heard a couple'a dudes talkin' about a month ago. You had led us to the evidence that let us catch Rawlins, Jim. They were sayin' as how calling you a sentinel was a crock, that any decent detective could do what you do, and it was a good thing that Sandburg was gone so he wouldn't be stirrin' things up anymore with all his 'crazy stories'." He glanced at the now-grave faces around the table and shrugged. "I dunno how many people feel like that, but I guess some still do."

"Then we have to stop it!" Megan's reply was fierce and unequivocal. "We need Sandy back here; we can't let a few bloody drongos put up a roadblock!" She looked wistful for a moment. "D'ya suppose we can corner them in a dark alley and beat some sense into them?"

Joel, always a peacemaker, demurred. "Blair wouldn't want us to hurt anyone, and if we did, it would just make them more set against him. And if it's just a handful, it won't matter. There wouldn't be much that a few could do with the whole precinct as a buffer."

"But we don't know that it's just a handful," Rhonda objected. "I think Megan's right. If we don't find out how far this attitude reaches, and do something about it, Blair could be miserable trying to work here."

Rafe shook his head. "We've already let the 'secret' of the sentinel out. If they don't believe it, what else can we do?"

Rafe's question led to a storm of suggestions, points, counter-points, and more suggestions. Gradually, the ridiculous was discarded, and a workable plan emerged. As the room became calm again, Simon summarized their strategy.

"All right. We 'casually' mention to everyone we meet that Sandburg's planning to come back. We act neutral about it until we notice the reaction, good or bad. We make note of those who have negative reactions. Within a few days, Jim will 'accidentally' do something very 'Sentinel' where the naysayer can observe him. A day or two after that, one of the rest of us will just 'casually' comment on Jim's abilities, but complain about how much easier it would be for him, or how much more extensive they would be, if only Sandburg were here. Anything else to make this more effective?" He glanced around the table.

"Yes, sir." Rhonda remained calm as all eyes turned toward her. "You're all focusing on Blair as a... a... 'crutch' for the Sentinel," her eyes sent apologies to Jim for the term, "...and forgetting that he's worthy in his own right to be a member of this department. He's proved it time and again, and I think it's unfair of us to ignore that!" She flushed a little -- as a 'mere' secretary, she didn't normally speak out at a detectives' meeting -- but was gratified to notice supporting nods from everyone present.

"Good point, Rhonda; thank you," Simon concurred. "So, an addendum. While we're just 'happening' to mention how useful Sandburg's presence is to help Jim, we'll also just 'happen' to mention how many times he's helped all of us in the past, and what a great addition he'll be as a permanent member of the department. So, anything more before we move on to Sandburg's official position?"

Jim had remained silent through most of the discussion, awed at how much these people were willing to do to bring Sandburg back among them. He had to swallow a lump in his throat before he spoke up. "Yes, Simon... all of you," he affirmed, glancing a 'thank you' at each of his fellows. "I just want to say how much I appreciate this, and I'll make sure that Sandburg knows how much you all want him back. It'll mean a lot to him."

"Just a bit of self-interest, Jimbo." Megan grinned cheekily at him, knowing how he disliked the nickname. "You're not the bear you were when Sandy first left, but you're still not a pussycat to work with. It'll be a relief to let the master take over." She cocked an eyebrow, wondering how Ellison would take the insinuation that he wasn't at his best without a particular person at his side. To her surprise, he didn't object, but simply nodded.

"I know, and I also appreciate how you've all helped me get through this time. I know I don't say it often enough --" he grinned wryly, "-- or ever... but, thank you. You're all a great team to work with." He pulled a face in Megan's direction. "But frankly, I'll be relieved when 'the Master' takes over, too!" He let the comfortable laughter swirl around him as he settled back into his seat.

As the amusement faded, Simon brought up the next point. "Okay, now we have to actually get Sandburg into the department. I've been talking with the Chief and the Commissioner. It seems that a few major cities have instituted official certification programs for their civilian personnel who sometimes need to go into the field. Sort of 'Academy-lite' -- physical fitness, weapons training, basic field procedure. Those who complete the course aren't expected to be in the front lines, but the idea is that, if something happens while they're with other cops, they won't be in the way through sheer ignorance, and may even be able to provide simple backup or assistance. The civilian trainees attend basic Academy classes with the police trainees; they just get to opt out of the really in-depth stuff. The plan is that the civilians will understand our job better, and be able to provide more effective support, and the cops won't resent the civvies as 'know-nothing desk-jockeys'."

Simon paused to let his people absorb the new idea. Although the higher-ups had been considering the logistics for several months, the rank-and-file of the PD had not been told of the projected innovations. Privately, he wondered just how much of the upper echelons' willingness to consider the idea was a side-effect of Sandburg's time spent as an unofficial adjunct to Major Crime. The kid's readiness to jump in wherever needed, his enthusiasm for supporting the Police Department in general, and Major Crime in particular, and his seemingly offbeat ideas that had sometimes provided fresh insight to help the detectives solve various crimes, had often been the subject of break-room gossip in various departments. It would be ridiculous to think that the scuttlebutt hadn't reached higher levels, but if they were hoping for a class full of Sandburgs in their training program, they would be disappointed. However, right now, one was all that mattered.

"Naturally, what's good enough for other cities has to be implemented in Cascade." Simon raised an eyebrow as he heard several soft snorts from around the table. "Tentative plans are to schedule the first class in January, when the new crop of cadets starts training. There are already half a dozen current or potential employees who have expressed an interest in such a program; Sandburg should fit right in. So, what d'ya think, Jim; would Sandburg be interested, and could he be here by then?"

"I think 'yes' to both counts, Captain. Sandburg already indicated that he's willing to consider the Academy, and he said he could leave as soon as his boss finds a replacement. January's almost four months away; he ought be able to get away by then."

"Maybe even a few weeks earlier than that," Megan interjected eagerly. "It'd be great to have Sandy home in time for Christmas!" Murmurs of agreement confirmed her words.

"Good! Anything else?" Simon looked around the table, noting the various head-shakes and shrugs. "Okay. Jim, you let Sandburg know what we're planning, and get some input as to what direction he really wants to go. The rest of us will start our 'Sandburg's coming back' campaign. If we note any problems, or anyone has other ideas, we'll have another planning session or three -- whatever it takes to get the kid back. Any questions or comments?"

"Yes," Joel offered. "Jim, you be sure to tell Blair how much we've missed him, and how much we're looking forward to having him with us again."

Before Jim could assure Joel of his compliance, Megan ordered, "Hell, Jim, just give us his address! Whoever wants to write Sandy can do it themselves, and a personal note will mean a lot more than a passed-on message."

Of course; why hadn't he thought of that? Everyone readied their notepads as Jim pulled out Blair's letter and read the return address to them.

When the notepads were closed and slipped into pockets or purses, the meeting was obviously 'finished'. Simon watched as a lull settled over the group; it seemed that no one had anything else pertinent to discuss but, equally, no one wanted to leave. Perhaps they needed to stay together a little longer, to reinforce the belief that Sandburg was really coming 'home'; it was amazing how much the kid had been missed. He cleared his throat.

"All right, people, no sense sitting around here all night. Why don't we meet at Murphy's for dinner and drinks together? We can grill Jim about Sandburg's letter -- I'm sure he said more than 'I want to come back'..." he fixed his detective with a gimlet eye, "...and then we can start planning the kid's 'welcome home' party."

The lull dissipated immediately as Simon's suggestion was whole-heartedly approved. They moved en masse to the elevators and parking garage, already making bets as to who would beat who at darts, and who would take who at pool. Murphy's Irish Pub was a favorite spot to kick back and relax with good friends and good food -- just the ticket to let them 'level off' from the charged emotions that they had been dealing with. With calls of, "Meet you there," and "See you in a few," doors slammed shut, engines rumbled to life, and the cars proceeded sedately into the evening's slanting sunlight.




Morning brought clear skies of what promised to be another hot, late-summer day. Blair had forgotten, last night, that the day's activities included a miniature 'trail drive' to move about two hundred head of cattle from one pasture to another, about four miles distant. He shrugged mentally as he kept an eye on the guests who intended to participate. Most of them were fairly confident in brushing and saddling the horses that had been assigned to them, but the ranch hands unobtrusively monitored the situation, making sure that saddle blankets had wrinkles smoothed out, that saddles were placed correctly, and that cinches were adequately tightened. In truth, it would probably have been easier -- certainly quicker -- to simply have the horses already saddled for the guests. But looking at the happy faces of the men and women who believed they were being 'real cowboys', Blair couldn't begrudge them this simple pleasure. Besides -- they had paid for the privilege.

It wasn't as if he planned to pack up and leave immediately; he could wait till this evening to tell Clem that he'd be moving on as soon as another hand could be hired.

Blair watched as Miguel and Pete finished loading their supplies into the chuck wagon and headed out the main gate. The cook and his helper would drive directly to the second pasture and start their preparations. By the time the herd could be driven to the new grazing area, a 'real cowboy lunch' would be waiting for the guests. He knew, from previous excursions, that Miguel and Pete enjoyed playing to the crowd. The guests would be enthralled by the sight of the large black pot hanging over the open fire, with the cast-iron Dutch oven and the blue enamel-ware coffee pot nestled among the flames. The chuck wagon with its billowing canvas top would be optimally placed -- enhanced by a backdrop of pines -- to be included in the inevitable pictures.

The horses were finally ready. Clem called for attention, and reminded the guests to do one last check. Water, cameras, sunscreen, light jacket -- at this elevation, it could be cool under the trees, even though it would be hot later, especially in the open grassy areas. Satisfied, Clem called, "Okay, folks, mount up!" and swung into the saddle with the ease and grace of forty years' experience. Many of the guests were able to do so with fair competence, but Blair bit back a grin as he watched the inevitable show-offs cockily try to emulate Clem's nonchalant poise, and succeed only in highlighting their lack of experience. Big John stepped forward to give one 'vertically-challenged' woman a boost into the saddle, while Blair gave similar assistance to the eager ten-year-old girl who was also part of the group. The ranch hands, satisfied that everything was under control, mounted their horses as well, and the cavalcade rode out, heading for what would be a long, tiring -- but ultimately, very satisfying -- day.




With a feeling of déjà vu, Blair knocked briefly on the doorframe as he entered the large, casually-furnished room. Though Clem had joined the hands and guests on the trail ride, he was once again immersed in paperwork. Blair flashed on an image of Simon Banks, also chained to a desk more often than he wanted to be. It occurred to him that, whatever the job was, the higher someone rose in importance, the more time was spent in paperwork instead of doing the specific work that was usually the foundation of self-satisfaction. Maybe he should reconsider getting that PhD after all...

"Something I can do for you, Curly?" The big man leaned back in his leather chair, ready, as always, to give his full attention to one of his men and whatever was brought to his notice. He waved Blair to the easy chair in front of the desk, and moved the plate of chocolate-chip cookies a few inches closer in silent invitation.

Blair accepted one and bit into the soft, chewy morsel as he considered how to start. It was always a bit awkward to tell a boss that he had decided to move on and, in the close-knit society of the ranch, it seemed almost a rejection of the man himself. As he swallowed the last bite, he decided simply to jump right in. Clem had surely seen hands come and go for many years; this shouldn't be anything unusual.

"Yeah, Clem... I came to tell you that I've decided to go back home, and wanted to give you time to hire another hand before I leave. There's no big rush -- I can hang around for another month or two, or even three -- but... well... just wanted to give you a heads-up so you wouldn't be caught short-handed when I take off." He grinned slightly. "Uh, no pun intended."

Clem returned his smile, but then sobered and regarded him steadily. "This is about that letter you got yesterday, right?" He barely waited for Blair's nod before he continued, "Because if you got somethin' troublin' you, Curly, I can help. If you need an advance on your wages, or maybe a good word in someone's ear --"

Blair shook his head vigorously. "No, man, no; everything's copasetic!" He recalled that he was talking to his boss, however informal the man was. "I mean, I appreciate it, Clem, but there are no problems. It's just time for me to go back."

"Curly -- Blair -- I know you've been hidin' out from someone or something." His gaze was piercing; if Blair had really been in trouble, he would have owned up immediately. "I didn't question it; around here, we judge a man by what we see, and not by what might be in his past. When we look at you, we see a good man. Like I said yesterday, you don't have to face whatever-it-is alone."

"Thanks, Clem; that kind of support means a lot to me, but honest, there's no trouble. In fact..." A bright smile crossed his face as it hit him again -- I'm going home! "-- my friend told me that everything's been cleared up. There was some trouble before -- a major misunderstanding, not really anything anybody did wrong -- and I left so that the repercussions wouldn't affect my friends. But now the misunderstandings have been explained, the fuss has died down so there won't be -- shouldn't be, anyway -- any unfortunate consequences, and I have a job waiting for me, working with people I care about." He drew himself up short, aghast at the implication he'd just made, then hurried to explain. "Not that I don't consider you all friends -- it's been really great working here, I've really appreciated the companionship and the -- psychic comfort -- that you've all offered, but..." He stumbled to a halt with an embarrassed shrug, unable to untangle himself from the disarray of his own thoughts and words.

Clem waved off the need for apology with a careless hand. "I know what you mean, Curly; don't sweat it. It's a lucky man who finds a place where he truly fits. You've done well here, and I think you've enjoyed sharing our life, but we all knew that it wasn't really where you belong. I just hope, this time, you can stay in the place you want to be. You'll be working with your cop friend, right?"

"Yeah, Jim Ellison," Blair agreed, somewhat surprised that Clem would remember a passing reference made months ago. It was part of what made the man such a good boss. "There's a few things to be worked out -- I don't know if I'll be a cop, too, or a civilian adjunct -- but we're a good team; we can handle it. I'm just excited to have the opportunity; I thought that door was closed to me."

His boss nodded. "You know, ranch work is flexible; one man more or less won't make that much difference. I appreciate you offering to wait till I find another hand, but if you want to leave sooner than that, it won't be a problem."

"Thanks, Clem; that's good of you. But there are still a few things to get straight, so it'll take a little time. And I want to visit Standing Bear another time or two; he's been..." Blair hesitated; how much did he want to reveal? But, somehow, he wanted to assure Clem that he would stay longer because of preference, rather than unlooked-for obligation. "Well, he's been teaching me a lot, and he's sort of been acting as my... um, spiritual advisor. I want to be sure my head's on straight so I don't make the same mistakes again."

"Standing Bear's a good man," Clem agreed. "I'm glad he's able to help you." He pulled his ledger closer and lifted his pen, a signal that the discussion was finished. "All right, Curly. Like I said, I appreciate the advance notice. I'll start advertisin', but if you need to leave before someone answers, don't trouble yourself. I'll be ready to cut your final paycheck whenever you need it."

Blair stood, understanding that the man had work to finish. "Thanks, Clem. I'll let you know when I have a definite date." He let himself out into the lengthening evening shadows.




To: jjellison @ cascadepd.com
From: blairsandy @ zianet.com
Sent: Wednesday, September 2, 1998 9:48 PM
Subject: Confirming contact

Hey, Jim,

It occurred to me that I forgot to give you my new e-mail addy. This way, we can 'talk' about stuff back and forth quicker than waiting for the mail. Also, the phone number here is 505-555-9278, if you need to do some real-time talking. The phone's in the 'living room' of the bunkhouse -- separate lines from the main house and office -- so the best chance of me being nearby will be after supper. Say, 7 to 10, local.

Got your letter yesterday, and I gotta say, man -- I'm overwhelmed. 'Thank you' just doesn't cover it. I'm -- amazed -- that you would go to so much effort, in so many different ways. I never expected it, but I'm incredibly grateful. So, thank you, my brother. I look forward to coming home.

Speaking of which -- can't wait to see the improvements to my room! You know I would've gotten my own apartment if you wanted me out from underfoot, don't you? (And I still will, if you ever decide that me being around all the time is too claustrophobic.) Or that I'd've been happy to spend the next -- oh, fifty years or so -- in my 'cozy little cubby'? <g> It's not like I can't share the rest of the loft with you. But since you've gone to so much trouble, I can assume that you really want me there, and I certainly won't look a gift horse in the mouth. Thank you, again. (Hmm... I think I'll be saying that a lot, in this mail, and for a while after I get home.)

Spoke to Clem earlier this evening, let him know I'll be leaving before too long. He actually said that I don't need to wait for him to find a replacement hand, but...

Well, now that I'll be heading home, this has become an 'interlude' instead of a 'road', and I'm seeing it with slightly different eyes. Not that I wasn't enjoying the place before, but the mental shift has turned it into a 'vacation'. So I think I'll revel in the 'naturalness' for a little longer, talk to Standing Bear a few more times to learn as much as he can tell me about the warriors with enhanced senses and the ways their companions helped them cope...

I think I'm also looking for -- well, call it 'psychic closure' of this wandering part of my life. I want to see it come to a 'natural' end, before I step into my 'new' life. The changing of the season, as the year winds down to a close, will be a very significant, and relevant, marker.

Yeah, I know, major cliché, but still -- psychic satisfaction all over the place. Close one chapter, open the next, smooth transition from one life to another...

So, I think I'll plan to head back to Cascade around the end of October. I have enough money saved for a plane ticket (sold the Volvo that first summer), and to tide me over until I start drawing a paycheck.

Um... I'm not assuming too much, am I? I mean, I know your letter to me wasn't a direct response to the one I sent you, but... Well, you wouldn't have sent it if you didn't still mean it, right? You did say that I have a place with the PD -- that still holds, right? And there won't be any flak about my 'fraud' declaration?

'Cause, right now, I'm almost afraid that it all falls under the heading of 'too good to be true'. I trust you, Jim, I really do. But... well, if you do change your mind, you'll let me know, right? I don't want a repeat of us spiraling into a pattern of dysfunctional disassociation again; much easier to make a clean break.

Not that I'm expecting that, or anything... just -- keep it in mind.

Well, you know what? A ranch hand has to get up even earlier than a grad student. So I'm gonna shut down and hit the sack. I'll be waiting to hear from you, and we can get the plans all worked out.

Thanks, Jim. Really, really, thanks.

Your friend,

Blair

PS -- Tell everyone in MC 'hi' for me, and I'll be back soon.

B




Jim Ellison sat down at his desk and booted up his computer. With the tip he'd gotten from his snitch last night, and a little bit of creative cross-referencing, he just might be able to crack this case...

Within a half-hour, he found the connections he needed; they should be able to put away that lowlife for a long time. He printed out the information to pass to Simon, to see if they could obtain a search warrant. Almost as an afterthought, he started his e-mail downloading while he headed toward the captain's office.

"Come!" Banks called at the perfunctory knock at the door. He eyed the sheaf of papers in his detective's hand. "What've you got, Jim?"

"I think we've got enough to nail the bastard, sir. Take a look; you think this'll get us a warrant?"

His captain read the documents carefully, and grunted in satisfaction. "Good work, Jim." A quick phone call brought the results they both wanted. "It'll be delivered in about thirty minutes. Set it up with Brown and Rafe, and plan to take a couple of uniforms with you. We don't want any slip-ups on this."

"Okay, Simon; we'll keep you informed." He nodded acknowledgement, then strode to Brown's and Rafe's desks to fill them in.

With their plans finalized, Jim had just enough time to check his e-mail. He sat down at his desk, and nudged the mouse to 'blip' the screen saver. Hmm... Junk mail -- delete. Junk mail -- delete. Advertisement -- big sale at Home Depot. Good; he'd make a point to drop by, in a day or two -- delete. Confirming contact -- my God, it was from Sandburg!

Quickly, he scanned the message, relieved that Blair had received his letter and was still planning a return to Cascade. But -- Jim frowned, feeling a faint unease at the tone -- something wasn't quite right. He glanced at the clock. Damn! He didn't have time to think about this now. With a few keystrokes and a click, he forwarded the letter to his home computer.

Glancing once more at the screen, he scribbled Blair's new e-mail address on a Post-It Note, then shut down the computer. Rising, he pierced the air with a shrill whistle, then waved the slip of paper in his hand when he had their attention. "Got an e-mail from Sandburg," Jim announced, loudly enough for everyone to hear. "He says 'hi' to everybody, and he'll be coming home at the end of October. Here's his addy, if anyone wants to write back."

Just then, he spotted Officers Sanchez and Jorgensen walking in, Sanchez holding what must be the warrant in his hand. "Sorry, folks; this seems to be our cue to go and grab Blanchard. I'll leave it here on my desk. Brown, Rafe -- let's go."

The detectives joined the officers at the door, and the group swept out, united in their purpose to get one more sleazeball off the streets of Cascade, and make their city just a little safer for the citizens they were sworn to protect.




To: blairsandy @ zianet.com
From: mfconnor @ cascadepd.com
Sent: Thursday, September 3, 1998, 7:22 PM
Subject: So glad

Hey, Sandy,

I'm so glad to hear that you're coming back to the department. We all are -- we really miss you around here. If nothing else, just to stand between Jim and the rest of the world. You made it look so easy.

Jim gave us your addresses, in case we wanted to e-mail or write to you. And I don't suppose 'close-mouthed' Ellison will tell you the good oil, so I'll fill you in.

When Simon offered you that badge, Sandy, it wasn't guilt on our parts -- leastways, not completely. Being inside your own head, you can't know how much you really contributed to the team. I know sometimes the guys gave you a gobful and teased about 'putting up with' your 'weird ideas', but when we look back, we can see how often your ideas really helped.

So, in case you're wondering, it's not just Jim that wants you back. It's all of us. I'm sorry we left you in the lurch; it was no way to treat a mate.

And no worries about the rest of the PD. We all (I mean, us in MC) discussed it, and we have a plan to suss out the nonbelievers and make sure they recognise the truth. There aren't many skeptics left -- Jim's let his abilities become an open secret since you've been gone, and people understand why you gave that press conference -- and I can tell you Sandy, anyone who doesn't give you a fair go will be itching for a blue.

Jim told us today that you're not planning to come back until the end of October. I won't be a sticky-beak -- I'm sure you have your reasons -- but I want you to know that there's no hang-up on this end. Two months or two days -- you'll get such a welcome when you show up.

I guess that's all. I just wanted to give you a push, if you needed it, to come back to us. I promise you, the only changes will be for the better.

Your friend,

Megan




Jim closed his door behind him, tossing his keys in the basket and hanging his coat on its customary hook. The arrest had gone down without a hitch, and the evidence discovered in the search should ensure a conviction. But underneath his sense of satisfaction was the niggling disquiet that he'd pushed aside all day. Why did Sandburg want to wait before coming back to Cascade?

He hurried upstairs to boot up his computer and print out a hard copy of Sandburg's e-mail. He'd be able to think better while looking over a piece of paper; somehow, a computer screen was too impersonal.

Jim read the letter again, frowning in concentration, and then again, with uneasiness continuing to grow. Something wasn't right with his guide. Blair said he 'looked forward to coming home' -- but he planned to wait another two months?! He needed 'psychic closure' before 'starting a new life'? What 'new'? -- He'd be stepping right back into the place he'd made for himself in Major Crime. Was this an indication that the idea still bothered him?

And what was that crack about a 'cozy little cubby'? Was he hinting that he really wanted his own apartment? Not that Jim would mind -- exactly -- but Sandburg needed to be up-front about this.

Jim sighed, and tried to rub away the ache behind his eyes. It was seven-thirty, eight-thirty where Blair was. Surely he'd be in the bunkhouse by now. Jim really needed to hear his friend's voice. And with a phone call, he'd be able to tell if Sandburg was feeling stressed.

He went to the kitchen for a beer, then settled on the couch, shoes off and feet on the coffee table. To hell with the rules; he wanted to be comfortable while he kept Sandburg talking as long as possible.

Jim listened to the phone ringing at the other end of the line. Finally, "C-Bar Ranch; you've reached the bunkhouse."

"This is Jim Ellison, calling from Cascade, Washington. May I speak to Blair Sandburg, please?"

"We ain't got no Blair San- Oh, you mean Curly! Yeah, hang on a sec." The speaker apparently covered the mouthpiece with his hand, but Jim clearly heard the shout. "Curly! You got a phone call. Some guy in Washington!" The speaker uncovered the mouthpiece and continued in a more normal volume to inform him, "Hold on; he's comin'."

"Jim?" Blair spoke with mingled hope and surprise. "Is that you?"

He closed his eyes and drank in the sound of his guide's voice. Muscles that he hadn't realized were tense, relaxed, and the headache started to ease. "Yeah, Chief; it's me. How're you doing?"

"I'm good. Is something wrong? Trouble with..." In the pause, he assumed Sandburg was checking the room to be sure he couldn't be overheard, before he continued in a quieter voice, "...your senses?"

"Sandburg, why does something have to be wrong? I just wanted to touch base, without waiting for e-mails to go back and forth." Damn! He could almost feel Blair withdraw at the thread of irritation in his voice. Was his promise to 'listen' to his friend out the window so soon? He sighed; try again.

"Sorry, Chief, I didn't mean it that way. I've just been worried about you, ya' know? Let me start over. -- No, Chief, nothing's wrong. I just wanted to chat a little, hear your voice, make some plans, you know?"

"Oh. Okay. Well, hey, it's good to hear your voice, too. And you know me -- I can talk till the cows come home. Which actually has meaning around here -- the milk cows come in twice a day to line up and wait their turn at the milking machines. So, the cows coming home is usually within twelve hours, at the most."

Jim relaxed, and simply enjoyed the sound of Blair burbling with enthusiasm. He made a silent vow never again to complain when the kid spouted off. He just hoped he'd be able to keep it.

"So, how is everybody in Major Crime? Nobody hurt? Catching a lot of bad guys?"

"Yeah, we're all good, Chief. The whole unit got a special commendation for cleaning up a major drug ring about six months ago; we've been able to keep busting the little guys who're trying to make it big, so the drug trade still isn't back up to that level. Joel and Megan got an award for 'Partners of the Year' at the annual banquet; they make a good team. Otherwise, same ol', same ol', ya' know?"

He heard a sigh of relief from his friend, and a deeper, softer voice as Sandburg seemed to relax, as well. "That's good to hear, man. I mean, I know you're all good at what you do, but it's a dangerous profession. Sometimes I can't help but worry, and wish I was there. Not that me being there would make that much difference -- it's not like I can wave a magic wand to keep you all safe -- but I just feel better knowing. You know how it is."

"Yeah, Sandburg, I know how it is. So it's got me kind of wondering..." Keep it light, he reminded himself, he's your friend, not a perp, "... well, kind of wondering why you want to wait two more months before coming home." He heard a sharp, indrawn breath and gentled his tones even more. "We all miss you, Chief. We've got plans in place for you to have a permanent position, and we're making sure that there'll be no 'fraud' or 'liar' innuendoes flying around. So, why do you have to wait? What's wrong? Whatever it is, I want to help. Just explain it to me, buddy," he coaxed.

"Well, you know... like I told you in the e-mail... psychic harmony and all that. I just wanna talk to Standing Bear a few more times, and the chance to feel like I'm on vacation, and I gotta bring things to a natural finish here, and --"

"Sandburg!" he interrupted, sharply. "Chief, relax! Slow down and breathe." Jim listened as Blair followed his instructions with a shaky, indrawn breath and forceful exhalation. "Good; that's good, Chief, keep it up. Now let's try this again. You're not Naomi, and I don't buy the psychic mumbo-jumbo stuff. What's really going on?"

Shit; he'd put his foot in his mouth again, and given Sandburg another angle for diversion.

"Jim, I can't believe you, man! We both have spirit animals, you talk to ghosts, Incacha passed the Way of the Shaman to me... It's all valid and I need to learn as much as I can, and Standing Bear is a very wise man; there's no telling what he might teach me that could come in useful later. Just because you prefer to hide your head in the sand doesn't negate the reality of our experiences and the experiences of other cultures. In fact, we can --"

"Chief. No." The interruption was gentler this time, but somehow the soft but firm tone halted the rush of words. "Sandburg..." Damn, he wished he could see his Guide's face, and let Blair see the conviction he felt. "Look, I'm not denigrating your feelings, and I'm sure those are all valid reasons. But I just get the idea that you're only giving me part of the story."

Silence; a waiting stillness on the other end of the line, punctuated by Sandburg's thundering heartbeat. Jim wondered if he should be pushing like this, but somehow, it seemed too important to let go. Their future as partners, as Sentinel and Guide, might be at stake.

"Blair," he reminded him quietly, "your letter said you'd be honest with me, and you wouldn't pull any punches. And I promised to tell you everything I was thinking and feeling. We can handle this, buddy, whatever it is."

The voice was hesitant. "It's not your problem, Jim; just something I gotta work out for myself. I sorta figure Standing Bear will help me get it fixed up. It's nothing for you to be concerned with, honest."

"I don't believe that, Chief, and I don't think you do, either. Partners need to work these things out together."

"You won't like it."

"Maybe not," he agreed, "but if it affects you, it affects me. Lay it on me, buddy."

A deep sigh signaled capitulation; Blair's heartbeat was slowing down as he apparently reached a decision. "It's... the way the whole PD knows about your senses, now."

Jim tried not to tense up; he couldn't get defensive, or Blair would clam up again. Damn; maybe he should have waited for a face-to-face talk, but it was too late to back out now.

"What about it? I thought you'd be pleased that I quit being so 'anal' about keeping them a secret. Like I told you, things go a lot easier now, not having to worry about hiding them."

The dam burst. "Exactly! Do you know how pissed that makes me?! How much shit we could have avoided if you'd got your head out of the sand earlier? I swear to God, Jim Ellison, you can be such an asshole sometimes!" He heard Blair's heartrate increasing again; his agitation made his breathing ragged.

Dear God. Jim closed his eyes in pain, feeling the impact like a physical blow. He had thought this was all behind them. Sandburg had said that he wanted to be the Sentinel's Guide, to be his partner. But how could Blair be his partner if he felt this way? How could he still feel this way? He had said that he didn't blame Jim. What had changed?

Jim frantically searched his mind for a solution. He could no longer hide that he was a Sentinel; the entire PD was part of the 'secret'. Maybe they could go somewhere else, work together, keep the sentinel secret. But he hadn't been very good at hiding his abilities before; it wasn't likely to be any easier in a different city. What the hell could he offer in reparation?

"Chief... I'm sorry... I didn't know... But I thought... I'm sorry," he offered, miserably.

"Sorry? What for? You didn't do anything wrong!" Sandburg's voice went from anger, through befuddlement, to outrage; Jim couldn't keep up with the changes.

"I don't know," he confessed. "But if you don't think I did anything wrong, why are you so angry?"

"Aw, Jim, I'm not sure, either." Sandburg now sounded just as dejected as Jim felt. "When I read your letter, I was so happy that you had stopped hiding and could use your senses openly. But then I thought of all the -- practically sneaking around -- we did, and all the obfuscations, and the whole diss mess, and I just got angry. I didn't even know it was there until it hit me. I guess I'm not so bad at repression myself, huh?" The laugh was tentative, shaky, but enough to give Jim hope.

"So, what do we do, Chief? Do you want..." Jim swallowed convulsively, but he had to make the offer, and stick by it. He couldn't hold Sandburg to him if his guide would be miserable. "Do you want to just walk away, forget the partnership?" He steeled himself for the answer.

The swiftness of the response reassured him. "What! No, man, nothing like that!" Sandburg sounded shocked at the suggestion. "No way do I want to walk out on you! But I realized that I gotta work through these feelings, and I figured it would be better here, before I jump back into the middle of things in Cascade." His voice was earnest now, trying to make Jim understand. "I just need to meditate and get my head on straight, you know? I'll probably go visit Standing Bear -- you remember the Apache shaman I wrote about? He's a very wise man -- well, yeah, he should be, since he's a shaman, right? Anyway, if I can't deal with the anger issues by myself, he'll knock some sense into me. I'll get rid of this, Jim, I promise."

"Chief, are you sure? I mean..." He floundered, not sure what he meant. "How can you just 'get rid of it'? What happens if it... I don't know... jumps out again later?"

"No, Jim, it's not like that. Stuff that's repressed, or hidden, can come back to haunt us. That's what's bothering me now -- I'd stuffed the anger down where I wasn't even aware of it. But now that I am, I'm not planning on stuffing it back into hiding... more like pulling its fangs and throwing it overboard. It can't jump out again later 'cause it won't be there. And I need to get rid of it -- there's no reason for it, but the human psyche tends to hang onto old things like that, sorta like picking at a scab, you know? So sometimes ya' gotta, like, trick the subconscious into letting go, 'cause it pretty much ignores the conscious mind. That's why meditation, and ceremonies like the purification rituals of the various Indian tribes work so well -- they convince the subconscious that something meaningful has happened."

Jim still felt uneasy. If Sandburg made significant changes in his inner self, would the new him still want to come back to Cascade? "But..." He hesitated, completely unable to express himself. "Chief, can't you do that here? I mean... maybe I could help... or even join in," he concluded, feeling a glow of inspiration. Maybe that would bring his guide home sooner.

"Aw, Jim." Sandburg's voice softened, slowing from its headlong rush of a moment before. "I really appreciate the thought, man, but I honestly feel that it needs to be done here -- or at least, before I head back to Cascade. And here, I feel such a spiritual connection to the universe -- and if the universe has guided me to a fully-fledged, experienced shaman to help, I'd be a fool to walk away from that, you know? This is just too important to leave to my haphazard guesswork; I want all the help I can get." His voice begged his sentinel to understand.

Jim sighed. It seemed unnecessarily convoluted to him, but if Sandburg felt it was important, he wouldn't interfere. His guide had promised to come home; he'd just have to hold on to that. "Yeah, Chief, I understand. You do what you have to do; I'm not going anywhere in the meantime."

Blair snorted softly. The smile was evident in his voice as he said, "Nah, I suspect you're just humoring me, Jim. But it means a lot to have your support in this. And don't worry..." he seemed to be reading his friend's mind, "... this won't change my plans. I will be coming back. Remember what I said -- the Sentinel and Guide belong together, and Blair Sandburg wants to be a partner to Jim Ellison. Nothing will change that, big guy, absolutely nothing."

"I'm glad, Chief. It'll be good to have you home." Enough of the mushy stuff; his voice became brisk as he teased, "So, what's on the agenda for tomorrow, cowboy? Ridin', ropin' and brandin'?"

"Actually, would you believe -- hang-gliding?" He chuckled as he waited for Jim to take the bait.

"The way you feel about heights? No, Sandburg, I wouldn't believe it. Try pulling the other one."

"Well, I won't be flying. But we have several avid hang-gliders with us right now, and they're going to take off from Calaveras Cliffs tomorrow -- I think whoever named them must've read Mark Twain. Anyway, it takes a four-wheel drive to get up there, so I'll drive them and their gear to the top, help 'em launch, and then come back down."

"So tell me, do they seem crazy to you, or are they being forced to do this by some sort of evil machinations?" The army had taught him to parachute, but it was for 'need to' situations; why step out of a perfectly good plane or off solid ground for no good reason?

Blair laughed, a light-hearted sound that Jim had sorely missed. "Oddly enough, I can see the attraction. This must be a good spot, or something, 'cause several groups of hang-gliders have come to stay, so this isn't my first time helping out. They have their own little mini-competitions, like who can stay up longest and who can fly farthest. Of course, when I help 'em launch, I don't get too close to the edge! It boggles the mind -- that first step is a doozy -- but then when I look up at them soaring in that limitless blue sky, I think that's what an eagle must feel like -- absolutely free and unfettered. I can really understand why the ancient peoples were so entranced by the idea of flying. It's a kind of magic, but the commonness of using airplanes has made us lose sight of that. Watching them, it almost makes me want to be up there, too."

Jim gripped the receiver tightly as he sputtered, "Sandburg! You better be joking!" The answering snort was a great relief.

"Get real, man! I said 'almost'. I plan to keep my feet firmly on the ground -- at least until the next psycho killer starts shooting at us. Of course," he teased, ~ if I tried it and broke both legs, I'd be no use to Clem, and I'd have to come home earlier. What d'ya' think?"

"I think I want you in one piece, however long it takes you to get home. So you keep those feet on the ground." Jim hesitated; were these little digs an indication of Blair's hidden feelings? "Sandburg... speaking of psycho killers... you know how dangerous my job is... that's not going to change. Are you sure about coming back?"

"See, I knew I shouldn't have told you! You're going to be worrying about this for the next fifty years, aren't you?" The light, good-humored tone suggested that the idea didn't trouble him. His voice became more serious as he continued, "Jim, I swear to you, I meant every word in my letter. I don't care how dangerous the job is -- my place is by your side. It's just -- I have to make a joke about it, to sort of keep it in perspective, you know?" The grin was back in Blair's voice, and Ellison relaxed again as he heard it. "And just think of all the stories I'll have to tell the grandkids!"

"Grandkids, Sandburg? Don't you have to find someone who'll have you first?"

"Yeah, yeah; spoken by a man who goes six months between dates! So, what else has been going on at the PD?"

The conversation moved into the less emotional areas of perps and personalities, arrests made and the vagaries of the job, which Blair countered with affectionate observations about life as a cowboy. Eventually, he was interrupted in mid-comment by an enormous yawn. "Oh, hey, sorry Jim. But it's gettin' late here; I really need to turn in."

"Got'cha, Chief. Sleep well. We'll talk another day."

As he hung up the phone, Jim contemplated the idea that had occurred to him midway through the conversation. If Blair was so sure that the Apache shaman could help him resolve his 'issues', maybe he should talk to the man, too. If nothing else, it might put them on an equal footing as they rebuilt their partnership. Jim pondered how he might get in touch with Standing Bear without Blair knowing...




To: blairsandy @ zianet.com
From: hsbrown @ cascadepd.com
Sent: Friday, September 4, 1998, 8:04 PM
Subject: Hey, Hairboy

Saved by the bell -- Ellison told us you're letting your hair grow out again, and I can still call you that. Or you could wear your boots and Stetson hat around here, and I'll call you 'Cowboy'. You'd be the only one at the PD. Are you bow-legged yet? <g>

Seriously, I just wanted to tell you that I'm glad you're coming back. You were good for the unit, and you'll fit right back in again. And, just to let you know -- I'll be standing at your back (and Ellison's, too) whenever you need.

So, come on, bro. I've been saving my best jokes just for you.

H Brown




Jim crossed the bullpen and knocked on the captain's door, waiting for Simon's customary 'Come!' before he entered.

"'Mornin', Jim," he greeted. "You have anything new on the Danson case?" A lifted mug and inquiring look asked if Jim wanted a cup of coffee.

"Yeah, Simon, thanks." He sat at attention in the chair while he waited till the captain passed him the mug, then took a sip. "No, nothing new there yet. But what I came for is to see about taking some time off after we close this case."

"Well, you certainly have it coming. You planning to head up to another secret fishing hole? I'll promise not to follow you this time, if you'll promise to avoid nut-case conspiracies."

"Actually, it's Sandburg. I called him last night to ask why he wants to wait two months to come home."

"Ask him or grill him, detective?" Simon growled. "Haven't you pushed Sandburg hard enough in the past? If you keep it up, he might decide to tell us all to go to hell instead of coming back."

Jim shifted uneasily in his seat. "Simon, I've learned my lesson! There was no grilling involved."

"Uh-huh," the captain muttered, unconvinced.

"Well... only for a minute," he confessed. "Then I remembered. But... I think, maybe if I go to meet him, he'll be ready to come back sooner."

"I know you too well, Jim; what aren't you saying?"

Jim hesitated, but his captain's face remained implacable. "Simon, you know you don't like it when I talk about the sentinel stuff."

"Maybe not, but I'm thinking it's about time I learn to deal with it. It occurred to me, when we were all making plans for Sandburg to come back, that maybe he wouldn't've left if he'd had some kind of support in dealing with 'the sentinel stuff'." It was Simon's turn to shift uncomfortably in his seat as he faced an unpalatable truth. "No one else knew about it, and I sure as hell didn't help when I absolutely refused to discuss it, or even listen to his explanations. There he was, helping you deal with your senses, propping you up sometimes, holding your hand other times, trying to hide a secret that you kept letting out of the bag, and essentially working two fulltime jobs -- all without anyone to lean on when the going got rough." He sighed gustily and seemed inordinately fascinated by the end of his cigar. "Looking back, I'm surprised he stuck it out as long as he did; I don't think any of the rest of us would've had that strength of purpose."

He fixed his detective with a measuring gaze. "A man needs the support of his superiors and coworkers if he's going to do the best job he's capable of. We know everyone in the department is behind him now, but that's not enough. I sure as hell better get with the program as well, and that means acknowledging -- and accepting -- his role in your life, and not hiding my head in the sand while he flounders alone."

"Simon, it wasn't like that!" Jim felt compelled to protest, although he was painfully aware that it had indeed been very much like that. "You didn't know... hell, none of us knew."

"Jim, it's my job to know things like that. If I can't see the stresses that are affecting my people, I have no business being their leader. Sandburg's leaving was a kick in the ass that I needed, and I've been kicking myself since then that it ever came to that. I've promised him, whether or not he knows it, that I won't let it happen again. So, to that end -- what's going on, and why do you need to go see Sandburg? Because," his voice became stern, "if you're just going to bedevil him about coming back before he feels he's ready, I won't let you do it. So if you want the time off, you'll come clean and convince me it's for the right reasons."

Jim's shoulders slumped and he scrubbed his hands over his face as he considered his captain's words. Simon had a point, and maybe his own promise to Blair to be more open included opening up to other people and letting them help as well. If his captain really couldn't be comfortable with the... the... 'inner connection' between Sentinel and Guide, they could pretend this conversation never happened, and he and Sandburg would be no worse off than before. Jim straightened, and regarded Simon calmly.

"Yes, sir. It's like this. When I asked Sandburg why he wanted to wait, he danced around a little, then finally admitted that he's still 'pissed' at me and he hasn't been able to 'process' it. He figures it might sour our partnership, and he wants to talk to this Apache shaman he knows, to help him get over it. And I got to thinking, maybe I should talk to the shaman, too, just... I dunno... get the lay of the land, I guess."

"'Get the lay of the land'?" The captain snorted in disbelief. "Jim, this isn't a covert ops mission you're going into. What do you expect to accomplish?"

"Simon, I don't really know. I just..." His gaze turned inward as he pondered his answer. "Okay, you know I'm kinda pitiful at this 'communication' thing. Not being able to talk things out scuttled my marriage, and it really messed up the partnership between me and Sandburg. Now he's giving me a second chance -- well, really, a fourth or fifth chance -- and I can't afford to blow it. I'm pretty sure, if I do, I won't get another."

Simon nodded thoughtfully. "I think you're right, Jim, and since you've finally recognized that in yourself, I assume you're planning to deal with it. But why don't you just talk to the psychiatrist again, and wait till Sandburg comes home to talk to him? I've gotta admit, I'm a little concerned that if you're alone with the kid, you'll fall back into your old habits and start chewing on him. At least here, I or one of the others will be able to run interference if he needs it."

"I think there's more to it than that, Simon. There's a... a kind of... 'spiritual connection', I guess, between me and Sandburg. I told him he took part of my soul with him, and I feel this emptiness where our -- 'connection' -- was." He grinned briefly at his captain's incredulous look. "Yeah, I never thought I'd be saying anything like this, either." He became serious again as he continued, "But it's like you said, he supported me, and no one supported him. This -- 'connection' -- is telling me that if I want to keep my guide, I've gotta change that. I've gotta learn not to shut him out, and learn how to give him the support he needs."

He shrugged ruefully. "But you know Sandburg; he helps everyone else and never asks anything for himself. I figure he won't tell me what he needs, he'll just suck it up and figure he has to deal with it by himself. But Standing Bear -- that's the Apache shaman -- knows Blair, knows what another shaman needs, probably even knows what a guide needs; Sandburg said the man has been telling him tales of 'Guardians' and 'Companions'. So I'm hoping that this Standing Bear will be able to tell me what I need to do -- and not do -- to make sure I don't trash our partnership again. So... yeah, I really want some time off, drive to New Mexico, talk to the man. Maybe, if I'm lucky, Sandburg'll be ready to come back with me. If not..." he shrugged uneasily under his captain's measuring eye, "...I'll back off and wait for him to come home when he's ready; I won't push it."

Simon nodded soberly, admiring his friend's strength. He knew that Ellison would much rather face an armed perp -- or worse, type up the report -- than talk about such things. But he knew he hadn't heard all of it, yet. "Jim, I've had a lot of experience recognizing half-truths; I'm the father of a teenage son. What are you leaving out?"

Unable to sit still any longer, Ellison rose and paced to the window, staring down at the bustling street below. Finally he steeled himself; Simon had a right to know what might happen, both as his captain and as his friend. He turned back, and rested a hip on the windowsill as he crossed his arms. "Simon, one thing I learned from that psychiatrist is that people need to face what made them angry in order to deal with it. I figure Sandburg might need to face me -- in person -- to do his 'processing'. And I figure it'll be easier for him if we're on neutral ground, where neither one of us are weighed down by old expectations. And..." He swallowed heavily and turned again to stare blindly out the window as he admitted his deepest fear. "If... if it doesn't work... if Sandburg feels that he really can't come back... it'll be easier for him there, to stay where he already has friends, instead of coming back to Cascade and then having to make the break all over again."

The silence stretched painfully between them, until Simon tried to offer what comfort he could. "Jim, he made the first overture; he sent you the letter. He must be pretty damn sure that he does want to come back; why borrow trouble?" The only answer was a half-hearted shrug of one shoulder. Simon's throat thickened; this was serious.

"Then what, Jim? If it comes to that, what will you do?"

"I don't know." Ellison's voice was so soft that Simon barely heard him. But then he shook himself, straightened, and strode purposefully to sit and face his captain. "No, that's a lie. I do know. It's up to Sandburg, but if he'll have me... I'll stay where he is. I can do ranch work; imagine what success I'll have at locating stray cattle." He grinned crookedly. "And if he wants to go walkabout -- he mentioned that in his letter -- I'll go with him. Whatever he wants."

"'If he'll have you'? Jim, for god's sake, you're not talking about a marriage here! Sandburg wouldn't want you sacrificing yourself to make up for past wrongs!" Simon almost sputtered in his indignation.

"No, I'm not talking about a marriage," he replied, his voice eerily serene. "I'm talking about something much deeper. I've realized that Sentinel and Guide should never be separated, and I honestly don't want to be apart from Sandburg anymore. If he can come back here, that's fine, but if not, I'll turn in my resignation and find another job. Staying with Sandburg is absolutely the only thing that matters, and I won't let anything interfere with that."

Simon hardly recognized the Jim Ellison sitting in front of him. He reviewed what he'd heard, while Ellison sat calmly, awaiting his decision. "So, this is about the 'spiritual connection' you mentioned?" he ventured. A self-contained nod was the only answer. "And it's really important enough for you to change your whole life if you need to?" Another nod. He grunted in irritation and leaned back in his chair, turning over the situation once more.

"Okay. I said I'd give Sandburg the support he needs, and enabling you to support him falls under that heading. So, how much time do you need?"

Jim shrugged. "I don't know, Simon. A week, two weeks, a month? Like I said, whatever it takes. I'll have to get hold of this Standing Bear, see what he advises. But I won't come back till Sandburg is ready. Or -- I won't come back."

"Do you really think it'll come to that?"

"No I don't. As you said, Sandburg made the first offer to return, so that means he really wants to. But if it doesn't work out... I just want you to be aware of that possibility."

"All right. Check with that Standing Bear character and let me know what's going on. Close out the Danson case, finish your open reports and turn them in, and I'll sign off for you to have three weeks' leave. After that, if necessary, we'll play it by ear."

"Thank you, Captain. I appreciate it; I'm sure Sandburg will, too."

Simon donned his customary mantel of gruffness. "Forget about it. Just go and get the goods on Danson so you can get out of here. The sooner you leave and bring Sandburg back, the sooner things will be back to what passes for normal around here."

As Ellison left his office, Simon Banks breathed a silent prayer that Sandburg would truly be back after he finished 'processing' with the Apache shaman. He was certain that Jim had meant what he said about following Blair into a new life, if necessary. He hoped it wouldn't come to that; the Captain didn't want to lose an excellent detective, and Simon didn't want to lose another friend.




Blair shut down his computer with a smile. The support from his friends was heart-warming. And, really, it shouldn't take two whole months to excise those remnants of anger. He had a day off on Wednesday; he'd ride out early and visit Standing Bear, stay all day.

He tapped the lid of the closed laptop as he pondered. Standing Bear recognized Blair as a fellow shaman, albeit an untutored novice. Should he explain that he was also a guide who needed to solidify his connection to his sentinel? It might make a difference, somehow, and he wanted to be completely truthful as he sought the other man's wisdom and advice. But it wasn't really his secret to tell...

Okay, he'd call Jim tomorrow and discuss it with him, first. No more secrets between Sentinel and Guide, ever. He'd promised, and he couldn't break faith with his best friend.




Blair hadn't given him the number of the main business phone, but there couldn't be more than one C-Bar Ranch in southwestern New Mexico. A few minutes with directory assistance had given him the number, and Jim listened to the ringing on the other end of the line. Would Blair's boss be in his office, or out somewhere with his hands?

"C-Bar Ranch, Clem Barstow speaking." The voice was gravelly, but the tones were calm and confident.

"Yes, sir, this is Jim Ellison of Cascade PD, in Washington State. I'm a friend of Blair Sandburg."

"Police? Curly said he wasn't in any trouble. What's this about, officer?" The warm tones had chilled considerably.

A small smile tugged at Ellison's lips; the man sounded as willing to defend Sandburg as any of his friends in Major Crime. "Nothing, sir. I mean, it's not police business; I'm simply calling as Blair's friend. I just need some information, and didn't know how else to get it."

"So why don't you ask Curly directly? I don't hold with goin' behind a man's back." Apparently, Jim's answer hadn't settled all of his suspicions.

"It's nothing that will harm him," he assured the other man. "But I'm planning a surprise for Blair, so I can't exactly ask him to help with it." He chuckled, inviting Clem to see the humor, but the only response was a waiting stillness. "I know he's been talking to the Indian shaman Standing Bear, and I'd like to talk to him too. But Blair didn't give me his last name, or the name of the town he lives in. I was hoping you could give me a number where I could reach him."

Clem apparently relaxed at that answer; Jim heard the slight creak of springs and the soft ~whoosh~ of leather as the man leaned back in this chair. His voice was warmer as he replied, "Well, now, I don't know as I can rightly say. I've never heard any other name than 'Standing Bear'. And he follows a lot of the old ways -- lives in a teepee, so he hasn't got running water or electricity... or a phone." He paused in thought, and Jim waited patiently. "I guess your best bet would be to call the General Store there in the village. They could send someone to fetch him to the phone, or take a message for him to call you back. Let me get you that number." Jim heard pages being turned. "Here it is. The Tinde General Store, 505-555-7963. You can prob'ly catch someone there for another hour or so, likely Billy Blue Wolf; he's the proprietor."

"Thank you sir; I really appreciate the help, and I know Blair will, too, when the plan all comes together." Jim tried to make his voice as warm and sincere as he could; he had a feeling that Clem still wasn't completely convinced.

"I certainly hope so. We think a lot of Curly around here, and we won't hold with anyone causin' him trouble, policeman or not. You just keep that in mind."

Jim shook his head as he grinned to himself. It seemed that the eternal anthropologist had once again made a strong place for himself within the 'local subculture'. "You have my word on it, sir. And thank you again for your help." He hung up the phone, with an easing of the slight tension that he hadn't realized he was feeling. It seemed that Blair did indeed have good people around him; his guide should be safe until his sentinel could reach him.





Blair rode through the small village, waving to the children playing a game of baseball in an empty lot. Although many of the community lived in ordinary frame houses or mobile homes, a few of the tribal elders preferred to uphold the ancient traditions; several colorfully-painted teepees were interspersed among the buildings. Blair had found them to be surprisingly spacious inside, as well as quite comfortable -- if one didn't mind the lack of chairs.

Standing Bear's teepee was set somewhat apart from the rest of the village, almost at the edge of the forest. As Blair approached, the shaman appeared at the entry flap. Not for the first time, Blair wondered if Standing Bear had a few heightened senses; he had never been able to take the older man by surprise. He reined his horse to a stop, and inclined his head respectfully. There was a certain amount of comfortable protocol to be followed before they relaxed into the informality of friends.

"Good morning, elder brother. It is a fine day. I had hoped that I might visit with you, and talk. I am in need of your wisdom."

"Greetings, younger brother. It is good that you have come. I will share my wisdom with any who wish to heed it." There was a subtle shift as the formalities were dispensed with; Standing Bear smiled at his friend and student. "Step down, Blair, and put your horse in the corral. I've been expecting you."

Wondering a little about the full extent of the shaman's abilities -- Standing Bear always expected his visits, no matter how irregular they were -- Blair dismounted and led his horse to the corral. He quickly stripped off the saddle and bridle, then turned it loose and shut the gate behind him. Turning, he saw Standing Bear waiting quietly at the teepee's entrance flap.

As he approached, Blair was struck once again by the sheer charisma of the Apache shaman. At first glance, Standing Bear was a very ordinary man; strong and capable, barely a dozen years older than Blair, he would probably have been one of the tribe's premier warriors in an earlier era. But anyone who looked closer could see the depth of wisdom in his eyes, as if from a soul that was centuries old. He radiated a quiet knowledge and acceptance of the dark places of the human psyche as well as the bright, and his mere presence seemed to engender feelings of peace.

Blair sat down on one of the padded skins near the small central fire, and accepted the cup of aromatic tea that Standing Bear offered him. The tea was made from local grasses and herbs; not only was it quite tasty, the shaman used it to help 'break the ice' for those who were nervous about discussing their problems or seeking advice.

Standing Bear sat near Blair, and poured himself a cup of tea. As he sipped, he eyed the younger man. "Blair, I can feel that you are troubled; this is not your usual visit to learn more about the Guardians and their Companions. How may I help you?" With another inconspicuous shift, Blair was no longer facing his Indian friend, but the wise tribal shaman.

Blair sighed. It didn't matter that he recognized the need, or that Jim had given his permission to discuss it with the shaman; this was going to be hard. He fumbled for the right place to start.

"I had a letter from my friend a few days ago. He wants me to come home, and I want to go home." Standing Bear's calm nod encouraged him to continue. "But when I thought about it, I realized that I still have feelings of anger toward him, and I can't face him with that eating away at me. But no matter how much I've meditated and argued with myself, I just can't find the way to get rid of it!" The explanation that had begun so calmly finished with an impassioned cry of frustration.

"This is indeed a difficult puzzle. Consider this -- is the anger truly misplaced? Or is there sufficient reason for you to be feeling this anger?" The shaman gazed calmly at his young friend's expression of outraged disbelief. "Don't censor yourself, and don't think about what 'should' be. If the circumstances were the same between two strangers, would one of them have a valid basis for his anger?"

Blair knew the answer to that; he had been picking at it for days, and the ongoing resentment quickly surfaced. "You damn bet'cha! The man didn't trust me! I was at his side and watched his back for four years, did the best I could to support him and help him, but every time I goofed up he ascribed the worst possible motives to it. Never asked me what was happening, just assumed that I was either stupid or unreliable or only looking out for myself. And he was so worried about being called a 'freak', instead of trusting his friends to know what was going on, that I lied to keep his precious secret, trashed my life so that he could keep his. Then as soon as my back is turned, he goes and spills the beans anyway, and lo and behold, it's no big deal after all! I am so damn tired of being kicked up, down, and sideways, and if nothing I do is ever right, why the hell should I try again?!" He was panting in his agitation, literally trembling in reaction to the force of his outburst.

"Those are good reasons for your anger," Standing Bear agreed gravely. "Now tell me why the anger is wrong. Why should you not feel this way?"

Letting the quiet, measured words soothe him, Blair's tension receded. This also was well-trodden ground. "Well, basically, his whole life has been one piece of shit after another -- or at least, he looks at it that way -- and it's just ingrained in him to strike out before he's struck. 'Most everybody who he's ever loved or respected or felt connected to has either abandoned him or died -- which I suppose is the same thing, in his view -- or did him dirt, or both. When you think about it, the man should be a walking psychiatric textbook. It's actually a tribute to his strength of character that he's not some misogynistic, sociopathic recluse -- or a serial-killer." Blair gazed earnestly at the quiet, non-judgemental man in front of him. "So basically, he's doing the best he can with what he has, psychically speaking. It's really not his fault the way he reacts when one of his triggers is pulled."

Standing Bear nodded again. "So, your friend reacts with mistrust and suspicion, and dismisses your feelings and advice, and this hurts you. But this is a natural reaction for him, one he's not fully in control of. How can you reconcile this?"

"That's just it! I can't reconcile it, and it's about to drive me crazy! What the hell am I supposed to do?!"

"A problem cannot be corrected unless it is addressed. What have you done to resolve this imbalance?"

"Well, like I said, I've meditated. And I wrote a letter, told him I wouldn't put up with it anymore."

"Did he acknowledge your concerns?"

"Mostly. Sorta." Blair squirmed under the questioning gaze. "Well, the letter he sent back was written months ago. But in it, he said he was sorry, and he'd really work at listening to me better. Said he'd even been talking to a shrink, to understand himself -- and me -- better. And when he called a couple of nights ago, he told me again that he was sorry, and he offered to help my meditations, or even join in. So I know he has good intentions. But I don't know how long that'll last, and I sure don't want to go back if I'll just be walking out again later."

"So." Standing Bear softly outlined the situation once again. "You and your friend both recognize a problem. One man cannot change another, but a man can change himself if he wishes. Your friend indicates a willingness to try to change. But you fear that his willingness to change will fade and that there will be no differences from before." Blair nodded his agreement. "Tell me, do you expect these changed behaviors to happen overnight?"

"No, of course not. These things take time; it's hard to break old habit patterns. And actually, I don't really want him to change, exactly -- he wouldn't be Jim if he did. I'm not expecting him to be all mushy-talky, spouting off about his feelings whenever we hit a snag. But...." He floundered, unwilling to put his seemingly petty feelings into words.

"But you want him to acknowledge that you are equal together, and to treat you as an actual partner, and when difficulties arise, you want him to 'chill out' before 'the shit hits the fan'." He chuckled at Blair's look of astonishment. "A shaman must understand the language of his those who seek his help," he murmured serenely, "even the young ones."

"Yeah, I guess that's about it," Blair admitted.

"Yet your friend has said that he will make a good effort to do this, for him and for you. Do you believe that he's lying?"

"No, of course not!" Blair was indignant at this slur toward his best friend. "If Jim says he'll do something, he means it. He might not always succeed, but he'll sure as hell give it a damned good try!"

"What will you do if he doesn't succeed?"

"I'll put my foot down, slap him upside the head, and sit on him until he notices what's going on," he growled fervently. Casting the older man a quick look, he offered a shamefaced grin. "Well, figuratively speaking. I did tell him that I wouldn't let him run over the top of me anymore."

"So, the previous anger was justified, but both parties have acknowledged it. Now, both parties have agreed to change the situations that caused the anger. You realize that it will take time, but you expect your friend to be true to his word. You will help him in this endeavor by stopping a repeat of the pattern each time it begins. Is this correct?" Blair nodded again, silently. "Then search your heart once again. Is the anger still there?"

While Blair closed his eyes in concentration, Standing Bear threw some aromatic herbs on the fire, filling the teepee with a subtle, soothing scent. He pulled down his drum from its position hanging on one of the support poles, and began a soft, rhythmic tapping that echoed the heartbeat and then slowed, encouraging a feeling of tranquility. He waited while Blair's breathing slowed to match, and watched his body relax and his face become calm.

Finally, after an unmeasured time, Blair's eyes opened. They met the shaman's, and quickly filled with anguish as he confessed his shame. "It's still there," he whispered miserably. "I don't understand it. I've been in therapy so many times, I know all the ins and outs, I know there's no reason anymore -- but it's still there! Why can't I convince myself to get rid of it?"

"What do you need to do to convince yourself to get rid of it?"

Blair shook his head and shrugged, unable to see past his own feelings of failure.

"You know this," the shaman admonished. "You've already told your friend what you need; why won't you believe it yourself?"

"A purification ritual? You know that I respect your customs and beliefs, but they aren't mine. Would such a ceremony really work for me?"

"Yes. The spirit draws strength from rituals. And during the trials that must be part of the ritual, you can come to know your animal spirit. The wolf will give you calmness and acceptance of your and your friend's imperfections, and the perseverance to continue until the goal is reached."

"But I know my animal spirit!" Blair protested. "I've seen him, and I accept that he's real."

"You know of him, but you do not know him," Standing Bear pointed out. "You have not walked with him, learned what he has to teach you, accepted him into your inner self. Until you can do that, you will continue to feel the pain of an incomplete soul."

Blair considered that, gazing into the kind, dark eyes that held his own. He still had doubts; maybe his scientifically-biased, analytical mind would be too skeptical to derive any benefit. But surely it was worth a try. "Will you help me? I don't know the proper rituals."

Standing Bear smiled gently. "There are some general customs, and I will guide your way. But the 'proper' rituals are those which will speak to you, and will satisfy your wolf spirit. You will need to blend the traditions of your people and mine."

"What; you mean like couples writing their own wedding ceremony?" he squeaked. "But Jim and I aren't like that!"

"On the contrary; you and your Sentinel are exactly like that," the shaman assured him. "Not physically, no, but the joining of souls is as meaningful and as binding as any marriage. And, just like a wedding ceremony, your Sentinel should join in a part of the ritual. He also needs to accept the guidance of the Spirits."

He shook his head at Blair's thunderstruck expression. "Of course I know that you and your friend are Companion and Guardian, or Guide and Sentinel, as you name them. The aura of the Companion shines brightly from you, for one who is able to see. And your questions, whenever you visit, have been much more intense than the simple curiosity of an intellectual mind. I would not tell a mere scientist the details I have shared with you, but a Companion has the need, and the right to know."

Blair looked dubious. "I don't know if he'll go for something like that."

"Of course he will." Standing Bear's certainty was unshakeable. "He told you that he wanted to help, to join you in your spiritual journey. He will be calling you soon, or perhaps me, and we can make arrangements for the ritual fasting and cleansing."

But Blair knew better. "Nah. He was just trying to get me back to Cascade quicker. He's really not interested in the spiritual part of being a sentinel. Actually, he's pretty damn good at denying it entirely."

The shaman noted the shadow of discouragement hiding in Blair's eyes; his tones deepened and reverberated as he reached for the powers of the spirits to ease the pain for this wounded soul. "Your sentinel will come, younger brother. Even now, he makes arrangements with his leader for the time needed to accomplish this. He, too, feels the pain of an incomplete soul, and he will be drawn to you, for only by each soul supporting the other will you both be able to put aside the anger and misunderstandings. The panther needs the wolf, just as the wolf needs the panther. He will come."

"It's a nice thought, Standing Bear," he sighed, "and I'm... grateful, I guess... that you think Jim would go to so much trouble. But no matter how good his intentions are, I just can't see him actually making the effort."

"I don't 'think' he will come, younger brother, I know it. Your Sentinel may not recognize the knowledge he has, but he is acting on it nevertheless."

"What makes you so sure?" he challenged. "Jim hardly ever does anything without having his nose rubbed in it. And I'm not there to give him a push."

"I'm sure because the spirits have shown it to me. And your Sentinel has been pushed by the pain of being separated from his Guide for two years. You will find that he has changed, as you have changed; he wants to support you, just as you want to support him. If you undertake this journey alone, you will be only partially successful. But that will not be necessary; your Sentinel will come."

Faced with such complete confidence, Blair allowed himself to feel hopeful, while a slow feeling of warmth suffused him. Jim would do this for him? The thought was -- exhilarating and comforting at the same time. This would work; it had to. He bowed his head in solemn acquiescence. "Thank you, elder brother. You have given me a lot to think about. I will speak with my Sentinel, and return in a few days to discuss the needs and methods of the purification ritual."

In the space of a moment, Standing Bear once again transformed from shaman to friend. He smiled at the still-troubled young man. "This will work, Blair. When we speak to the spirits with an open heart, they will respond. You will truly recognize and understand that 'home', for each of you, resides within the spirit of the other. Then your journey home will be finished."

The smile Blair offered was tremulous, but resolute. "Yes. I believe you. Or at least, I want to believe, and I'll make it work. Thank you, again." He glanced up at the open smoke-flap above, noting the fading of the light's intensity. The sun must be well on its way down; it was time to leave.

Once again, Standing Bear seemed to be reading his mind -- or maybe he had simply noted the upward glance. He stood, causing Blair to scramble to his feet in respect, and stepped out of the teepee, with Blair following. Waving at the sky, he pointed out, "Sun's going down, Blair; you need to head back to the ranch." He escorted his guest to the horse corral, and watched as the younger man made short work of bridling and saddling his mount. As Blair swung into the saddle, he repeated his assurances. "Remember, younger brother, the Spirits will help you if you give them a chance."

Blair raised a hand briefly as he smiled down at Standing Bear and nodded his acceptance of the shaman's words. Then he gathered his reins and headed toward the other end of the village, and the trail that would take him back to the ranch, and another long-distance conversation with Jim.




The members of Major Crime gathered once again in the back room of Murphy's Irish Pub to hold a 'Sandburg Update' meeting in comfortable surroundings. Over helpings of barbecued ribs and shepherd's pie, double-decker cheeseburgers, and Irish stew, the talk wandered lazily past previous and current cases, celebrating the triumphs of successful investigations, and commiserating with those who were struggling with stalled cases. Finally, over desserts of hot apple pie a la mode and English trifle, Simon called the meeting to order.

"All right, people, let's see where we stand in the 'Bringing Sandburg Home' campaign." His gaze traveled the length of the table, catching everyone's eye in turn. "How goes the rumor-mill? Are there any dissenters about Sandburg's competence to join the PD?"

"I think we've got it covered, Simon." Joel's tone was confident and relaxed. "I've talked to one man in the bomb-squad, and a couple of patrolmen who were backup on a stakeout last week. They're at least willing to give Blair the benefit of the doubt, even if they're not enthusiastic about his coming back. Everyone else has seemed pleased about the news, at least in my hearing."

Simon took a contented puff on his cigar. "Good. Detective Brown? What about the doubters you mentioned?"

Henri gave a satisfied smirk as he reported, "Smooth as silk, Captain, just like we planned. When Ellison 'accidentally' let them catch him in action, their eyes practically bugged out. And then the next day, they just 'happened' to hear me an' Rafe talkin' about how many of Hairboy's crazy ideas had helped out on cases, and how helpful he was and how much support he gave to everybody in the department. Haven't heard a negative peep out of 'em since."

"Nice to hear it, Brown." The captain glanced around the table. "Anyone else?"

Rhonda spoke up. "Yes, sir. I'm sure you know how the secretaries of all the departments share news and gossip?" He nodded at her to continue. "I've made it a point to have a few coffee-breaks or lunch hours with most of them, and they're all helping to... monitor the attitudes of their departments. Of course, the way Blair always made time to chat with them, for whatever reason..." she paused at the chuckles and outright laughter the remark engendered, "...they all liked him anyway. But now, they're actively talking about how nice it will be to have him back -- and the attitude of the secretary can influence a lot of people in her department. I think it'll be a big help."

"I think you're right, Rhonda," he assured her. "Thank you for taking the initiative. Anyone else?" Banks surveyed his people again, but saw only shrugs and headshakes.

"Well, then, it seems that's taken care of. Now, I've spoken to the Chief of Police and the Commissioner. Sandburg has a definite slot in the 'Civilian Support Personnel' class that starts in January, and..." he cast a cat-eating-canary grin to the people who were waiting almost breathlessly for him to continue, "...after graduation, Blair Sandburg will have an official position with the Cascade Police Department as a 'Socio-Cultural Liaison'.

Cheers erupted as their hopes were confirmed. Although the news had been expected, there had also been a shadow over their anticipation, given the barely-acknowledged possibility that something might still go wrong. The relief of knowing that 'all systems were go' couldn't be contained.

Simon waited for the noise and the mutual backslapping to quiet down. "Since Sandburg will be a consultant to the PD as a whole, he may be called upon by other departments who need his input and expertise, and even by other precincts, once in a while. However..." he fixed Ellison with a gimlet eye, stopping the pending protest before it could start, "he will officially be based with the Major Crimes department, working with Detective Ellison first, the rest of you clowns second, and everybody else third. Sandburg is ours, ladies and gentlemen, and we won't let him go."

That set of another round of cheers, along with assurances of "Damned straight!" and "They better keep their mitts off!" and "Anyone who tries to steal Sandy away can bloody well bugger off!" Ellison refrained from commenting, but watched the others' enthusiasm with a slight smile softening his face. It warmed his heart to see how much Sandburg was wanted, and he made a mental note to tell his friend all about it.

"So, Jim," Simon continued as the noise began to subside, "Give us an update. Has Sandburg said anything about coming home earlier, or do we still have to wait for another six weeks?"

"Yes, sir, he has it all planned." Ellison took a deep, centering breath; it was still difficult to speak about such things aloud. "Sandburg wants to do an Indian ceremony to... ah... reaffirm the connection between Sentinel and Guide." Jim would not admit that Blair was trying to work through anger that was aimed toward him; hopefully, no one but he and his guide would ever know. He took heart from the understanding nods he saw; apparently, their friends were willing to accept the more -- esoteric -- aspects of working with a sentinel and guide. "Anyway, he wants me to be part of it, and I said I would, so..." he shrugged, trying to convince them -- himself? -- that it was 'no big deal', "...I'll leave next weekend, drive down to meet him, do the ceremony, and then bring him back with me."

"How long will that take, Jimbo?" Megan demanded. "We need to start planning his 'Welcome Home' party. Have you figured out your travel schedule, so you know when you'll be home? And you'll need to give us the key to the loft, so we can get everything ready. We need to let Sandy know that --"

"Wait, wait a minute!" he protested, raising a hand to stop her. "A lot of it depends on Sandburg; I'm leaving it up to him. I plan to reach Gila, New Mexico -- that's close to the ranch where he's working -- on Monday after I head out. I can do it in two and a half days if I push it. But I don't know when Sandburg wants to start the ceremony, or how long it will take, or how long after before he'll be ready to leave." His jaw firmed as he focused on the far wall, avoiding their eyes. "You all know that this 'sentinel thing' was mostly -- usually -- about me. But now I need to prove to Blair that... that I know the 'guide thing' is equally important. I can't just show up and say, 'Do it, it's done, let's go'. So," he met their eyes again, grinning slightly, "I don't decide the mission parameters on this one; he does. And I'm determined to respect that."

Surprised silence greeted his words. Although Ellison had become more open about using his sentinel abilities, he was still reticent about discussing them candidly, and rarely mentioned the full extent of the guide's -- Blair's -- involvement.

Finally, Simon gave voice to what everyone seemed to be feeling. "Jim, don't you think you're being just a bit too cautious, here? You're talking about Sandburg like he's some nervous virgin on her wedding night. He worked with you for over three years, and you know each other inside and out. I understand your concerns, but aren't the kid gloves overdoing it?"

Ellison shrugged dismissively. "You said it yourself, Simon; a man needs the support of his coworkers. We know he has that now..." he noted the vigorous affirmative nods around the table, "but all he has so far is a few letters and phone calls. That's a good start, but it's not solid proof, at least, probably not in his eyes. Maybe I am being overly -- tentative, but I'd rather err on the side of caution." He sighed gustily. "I figure it's a 'can't hurt, might help' situation; let him call the shots while we reestablish our partnership."

"He's right, Simon," Joel agreed. "Whenever a renowned expert comes into a new situation, adjustments are made. Sandburg is our expert, and the situation will be different than it was when he left; Jim can't act like nothing has changed. None of us can." Murmurs of agreement echoed around the table.

Banks grunted as he puffed his cigar. "All right, I see your point. You do what you have to, however you have to, to get Sandburg back. You and he will set the timetable. But that leaves us with the problem of when to schedule the 'Welcome Home' party. Any suggestions?"

"Captain," Rhonda said softly, "it's as simple as a phone call. Detective Ellison can call two nights before they're due in. Assuming the next day is a workday, we'll have that evening after work to bring in or cook the perishable foods, then set up the next day for the party."

"Of course!" Megan exclaimed. "Why didn't we think of that? So let's get this show on the road; who'll be in charge of decorations, who'll be in charge of food and grog, and who's going to bring what?"

The atmosphere lightened once again as Simon ordered another pitcher of beer, and Sandburg's friends settled to a spirited planning session, happily discussing logistics as each person promoted his or her ideas for the best 'Welcome Home' party in the history of Cascade. All Ellison could do was go with the flow, firmly veto the suggestion of flowers, and silently consider hiring a cleaning service for the day after.




Ellison pulled out of the truck stop and continued south on I-5. He'd filled the truck with gas, his thermos with coffee, his cooler with bottles of water, and the box on the seat beside him with a variety of snacks. He was good to go until both he and the truck required a pit-stop.

As he bit into the large slice of fresh apple pie, he glanced at his watch, then surveyed the moderate traffic with satisfaction. So far, he'd run into no delays, and was right on schedule -- Sacramento last night, Tucson tonight, then Gila by late morning tomorrow.

It made for long days of driving, but Jim had found that he couldn't ease up, even if he'd wanted to. The knowledge that each mile traveled brought him closer to his guide was singing through every fiber of his being. Now that their separation was almost over, he could barely contain the mixture of anticipation and uneasiness, excitement and uncertainty that filled him.

The ceremony that Sandburg planned had to work, had to clear the air between them and help them reestablish and restore their... partnership. Relationship. Friendship. Jim was aware that, for all his expressions of acceptance to Simon, to the psychiatrist, and even to Blair himself, he wouldn't let his guide walk out of his life again. Never again.

Traffic increased, and he brought himself back from his inner contemplation to pay more attention to the road, and navigate the maze of various intersections that would take him around Los Angeles and let him catch I-10 east toward Tucson, and then Gila. Toward his friend and guide. Toward Blair.




Jim drove into the small village, noting the mixture of structures. The sight of the teepees interspersed among the buildings was a slight surprise, despite Blair's mention of them. They were somewhat larger, and considerably more colorful, than he had envisioned. Noting the sign that read, 'Tinde General Store, Hours 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM', he parked in front of the long, wooden building; someone here would be able to tell him where to find Standing Bear.

Once inside, he found an astonishing variety of goods; the store might rival Wal-Mart in what it could offer its patrons. He noticed items ranging from everyday needs such as food, clothing, tools and toys, to native crafts of beadwork, jewelry, baskets and woodcarvings. Jim assumed that, this close to a National Forest, a number of tourists would pass through, looking for 'authentic Indian' memorabilia.

"May I help you, sir?" The proprietor's voice brought him back to his reason for being here. Jim turned to find a Native American of about his father's age standing in front of him. The man was still straight-backed, with a strong, proud gaze, but strands of gray showed in his traditional braids.

"Yes, sir," he responded. "Mr. Blue Wolf? I spoke to you on the phone. I'm Jim Ellison from Cascade, Washington, and I've come to talk to Standing Bear. Could you give me directions to his place?"

The level gaze warmed slightly. "Yes," he nodded. "Standing Bear told us that a white man would come to speak with him. It is good that you try to honor the old ways."

Jim kept his face impassive, not showing his discomfort that, apparently, his impending visit had been a topic for discussion. It might even have been necessary; unless the shaman had indicated his prior approval, the other villagers might well have denied Standing Bear's availability.

"Yes, sir," he repeated. "So, how may I reach Standing Bear?"

"Follow the main street to the last house," the old man said, nodding in the correct direction. "Then turn left, and follow the dirt road almost to the edge of the forest. Standing Bear's teepee sits alone, with a horse coral next to it. He will be expecting you."

How? Jim wondered, but let it pass. Standing Bear hadn't known the exact day that Jim would arrive, but he had been given a general timeframe. With a nod and a brief, "Thank you," Jim headed back to his truck, trying to quell the nerves he felt about his imminent 'consultation' with Blair's shaman friend. Somehow, he was afraid that if he failed to meet Standing Bear's approval, he might lose his chance to bring Sandburg back with him.

He drove slowly, noting that children and adults alike were observing his passage. Undoubtedly, his visit would be gossip-fodder for a while; might as well let everyone have a good look. Besides, it might seem... insolent... to rush toward the shaman and arrive in a cloud of dust. This community -- and Blair -- respected Standing Bear; Jim was sure he needed to extend the same respect if he expected any help in reconnecting with his guide.

He parked the truck near the horse corral, on a patch of bare ground that showed the tracks of other vehicles. As Jim left the truck and turned to approach the teepee, he saw the shaman standing in front of the entrance flap, regarding him solemnly. Jim walked forward, but paused a short distance away, waiting in respectful silence. Living with the Chopec had taught him that there were times when ceremony was important; he would take his cues from the man in front of him.

Standing Bear continued to observe for a moment, quietly pleased that this stranger was attempting to show courtesy for another's traditions. "It is good that you have come, Guardian. It demonstrates a care for my younger brother, your Companion, that will strengthen the connection between you, if you will acknowledge and act upon it."

Ellison did his best to respond in a similar manner. He bowed his head as he replied, "I thank you, Shaman. It is my strongest wish to help and support my guide -- my companion -- but I have need of your wisdom to ensure that I proceed correctly."

As the formalities were completed, Standing Bear smiled at his younger brother's friend and guardian. "I am pleased to meet you, Mr. Ellison. Your being here will be a great boost to Blair's spirits, and to his feelings of self-worth. Come inside, where we can sit and talk."

"Thank you, sir," he responded, ducking through the flap that Standing Bear held open for him. "But please, just call me Jim."

"Certainly," the shaman said as he followed Jim and nodded toward one of the padded skins near the small central fire. "Unfortunately," he continued as he poured two cups of the herbal-grass tea, "there is no comfortable way to shorten Standing Bear." He handed one cup to Jim, then seated himself on the other side of the fire, and took a small sip from his cup, waiting till the other man followed his lead and sipped his own tea. "But names are unimportant for our discussion."

Standing Bear continued to sip his tea as he studied his brother's guardian. He saw a fellow-warrior, who was fiercely protective of the tribe he guarded, but whose heart was aching for the missing piece of his soul. Jim, watching the shaman over his own cup, recognized a spirit that was similar to Incacha's -- a soul that was older than the body that contained it, combining wisdom with understanding and calm acceptance. He felt an easing of tension; this man would be able to help him reconnect with Blair.

When he judged that the guardian had relaxed, Standing Bear spoke. "So, Jim, how may I help you?"

With a subtle shift, Jim was once again facing the wise tribal shaman. He hesitated; he'd spoken of the 'sentinel / guide thing' to Simon, and to his friends in Major Crime, but this man was a stranger, for all that Blair looked up to him and trusted him. Maybe half an explanation would suffice.

"I guess Sandburg's told you that he and I... well, we had a bit of a falling out. But he was the best partner I've ever had, and my friend, and I don't want to leave it at that. He wants to do this ceremony before he comes home, and I just want to be sure I won't screw it up. So I was hoping you'd give me some information as to what to do, or not do." He knew the explanation sounded lame, but maybe the shaman wouldn't notice.

No such luck. Standing Bear chuckled as he said, "You drove almost two thousand miles just to rectify a 'falling out'? Blair said that you agreed he could speak freely to me; why do you now try to hide what you are?"

Busted. Okay, he'd come too far to back out now. Jim sighed deeply, then plunged in. "Forgive me. It's just that I don't often speak openly of this." The small confirming nod encouraged him to go on.

"You know that Sandburg and I are sentinel and guide -- or companion and guardian in your terminology. Did he tell you that I've had a lot of trouble with my senses? I wasn't taught to use them from childhood, the way someone who's..." He hesitated; he could not call this man's culture 'primitive'. "...who's not raised in a big city might be. It seems I had them as a child, then lost them, then they came back when I was stranded in Peru, then they went away again when I came back to the city, until Blair found me."

"My younger brother told me of this, yes," Standing Bear confirmed. "He also told me that, with his help, you were using your guardian senses well."

Ellison shifted uncomfortably. "Yes, sir, that's true. But..." He hesitated; how best to phrase this? "Well, a lot of times I didn't make it easy for him. I didn't really want the senses, and I bitched and moaned like I thought it was all his fault." He was speaking to the fire now, not wanting to see condemnation in Standing Bear's eyes. "Then one day the shit hit the fan, but I had gotten so pissy that I didn't listen to Blair, or even give him the benefit of the doubt. When everything finally fell apart, I tried to fix it; my captain and I offered him a permanent place with the PD. But..." he shrugged, and took a fortifying swallow of tea. "...I guess it wasn't something he felt comfortable with."

"Such reactions are normal human failings." Standing Bear's voice had none of the disapproval that Jim expected; it was calm, and even slightly amused. "You are not a paragon, to never make mistakes. When an honorable man fails, he tries to repair the results of his failure. Your offer to Blair was a worthy response to your actions."

Jim shrugged, regarding the shaman soberly. "Maybe so, but nothing came of it. Sandburg felt that he couldn't stay, and he just took off. Until I got his letter a few weeks ago, I'd had only one untraceable postcard from him in two years." A little frustration colored his voice; he grasped it firmly and shoved it deeper within. He must not give Standing Bear -- Blair's friend -- a reason to doubt his sincerity.

"And that irritates you," the shaman noted, unperturbed. "You feel that a true friend -- a guardian's companion, or a sentinel's guide -- should have accepted the offer and continued to walk by your side."

"Well, I did," he admitted. "For awhile, anyway. Sandburg had said he'd stay!" Jim finished defensively. "It just seemed like cutting and running when he didn't."

"His rejection of your offer seemed to be a rejection of you."

Ellison simply nodded, once again unable to face the shaman.

"And yet, your guide explained why he could not stay, did he not? Did you believe that he lied to you?"

Jim fidgeted uneasily. "Not lied, exactly, but... uh... 'obfuscated', I guess, to take the easy way out. I know better now, but... well, I was pretty pissed for awhile."

"How is it that you 'know better now'?"

"I talked to a shrink," he sighed. "I talked to my captain. I saw the reactions of some of the PD personnel before I let the truth about my senses be spread around." Jim smiled slightly, finally beginning to relax under Standing Bear's non-judgmental manner. "I guess even my thick head will accept new ideas, if it's pounded hard enough and often enough. And then Blair's letter laid everything out in black and white, and I could really see where he was coming from."

Standing Bear's lips twitched. "Fortunate indeed, that such a thick head can learn. So, tell me, Sentinel, why did your guide walk away from you?"

"Well, I guess because he really couldn't stay." Standing Bear was silent, waiting. "And... because he didn't think he would be accepted if he tried to stay." The shaman still didn't speak, waiting for more. "And because... maybe we both needed to learn a lesson, find out what it would mean to us if we went our separate ways. And that way, we'd really understand that it's better -- right -- that we're together, working as a team," he concluded, satisfaction coloring his voice as he explained what he'd come to know on an instinctive level.

Standing Bear nodded, seemingly pleased with Jim's thoughtful answers. "So, Sentinel, you accept that it was necessary and right for your guide to be apart from you for a time?"

Ellison sighed and ran a hand over his hair. "Yes, I can accept it -- now. I didn't like it, and I can't wait to be finished with this... 'learning experience'... but I do see that things would probably have gotten worse if Sandburg had stayed." He shrugged. "Shit goes around, sometimes. We deal with it as best we can, and move on, I guess."

"So you understand why your guide left, and why he had to stay away. Now explain why he should come back to you; what does the Sentinel now offer the Guide?"

"I offer him my support, and my un-ending friendship," Jim said gravely. He stared into the fire, not in an attempt to avoid Standing Bear's gaze, but using it as a focus as he searched the corners of his soul to express his hard-won, heart-felt knowledge. "I offer him a place by my side, in a community that will accept him and offer him the same support, and I offer him a home if he still wants it." He swallowed, trying to rid himself of the uncomfortable lump in his throat. "I offer him my belief and my trust, and my promise that I'll listen to him instead of making thoughtless assumptions and snap judgments. Well..." he shook his head wryly, "...I offer a promise to try to do that, and the promise of our captain to run interference and help me keep that promise if I start falling back into old habit patterns." His eyes lifted to meet the shaman's. "I offer him the acceptance of my senses, and the acceptance of him as my true and equal partner, and I offer him my sincere attempt to never again let him down. Of course..." he flushed and looked away, "...I'm an old dog, and new tricks don't come easy, but I'm fully aware of the pitfalls now. I think, with the help of our friends, I'll manage to keep my promises."

"All of these form a worthy tribute from Sentinel to Guide," the shaman assured him. "What does the Sentinel expect from the Guide, in return for these offerings?"

Jim gaped at him, astounded. "Sandburg doesn't have to offer me anything; I just want him back where he belongs!"

Standing Bear fixed him with a stern gaze. "Do you truly believe that such a distorted connection can survive? If one half gives everything, and the other half gives nothing, there will come a time of ill-feelings, of anger and bitterness on both sides, and the connection will once again be broken. The needs of one cannot be buried in favor of another, no matter how worthy the other is perceived to be. The guide cannot be equal to the sentinel if the bond between them is so severely unbalanced. I ask you again -- What does the Sentinel expect from the Guide? Search your heart, and be honest; there is no shame in speaking one's needs."

Ellison's eyes lost focus as he struggled with this new idea. It seemed to him that... "But it was all my fault," he almost whispered. "I didn't trust him, I didn't let him explain, I let him throw his life away to protect mine. He's given so much, and I gave him... nothing but crumbs. How can I take more?"

"Sentinel, your arrogance is deep -- and unseemly." The shaman smiled slightly at Jim's shocked expression. "Is your guide a child, that he has no control over his actions and his life? You didn't trust his actions at that time; did he ever give you reasons for that distrust?"

"No!" he insisted, but under Standing Bear's gaze, he had to face the truth. "Well, sometimes I thought he did. There were times it seemed like I was just a... a... 'carrier' for the senses, and he was more interested in them than me. And he was always talking about that damned dissertation, like when he was finished with it, he'd be finished with me. And he kept talking about fame and fortune and movie rights, and when it all came out, it just seemed like he had asked for it."

"When did your guide tell you that his perceptions had changed, that he no longer sought fame and fortune, but only wanted to support his sentinel?"

"Well... he never actually said it... but that just means I should have seen it for myself," he protested.

"Perhaps; but such things can be difficult. That is why the spirits gave mankind the gift of language, so that which is not seen can be spoken of, and misunderstandings can be rectified. If one does not speak, should he fault the other for misunderstanding?" Standing Bear paused to let Ellison absorb what seemed to be a new idea. "You say that you didn't let him explain. Why was that?"

That was still a painful memory; he set his jaw as he replied, "I was angry and... hurt, I guess, when I thought he betrayed me. And we were busy, working a hot case, and I just brushed him off."

"So, in a moment of anger, you made a mistake." He waited for a confirming nod. "But human beings make mistakes. It is right that they should be corrected, but does it seem balanced that the mistaken one should spend his entire life in atonement for a momentary lapse?"

"Well, but... isn't that what Sandburg is doing?" Jim frowned as he wrestled with the concept. "He threw away the life he had; isn't this life just one long atonement for what he did?"

"Is it? Does he suffer in his current life, crying to the spirits for forgiveness? Or has he simply moved into another life the way a caterpillar becomes a butterfly? The loss of the old life does not make the new life worthless, or even uncomfortable; it is merely different. Has my younger brother indicated that he feels any distress about his current life-path?"

"No-o-o... but Sandburg wouldn't. He bitched when he thought I wasn't... appreciating my 'gifts' enough, but he never complained about day-to-day stuff, or cop stuff. "

"Never?" The shaman's lips quirked in amusement, though his eyes warmed with gentle understanding; his younger brother would not have been silent if he had felt ill-used.

Jim paused as he cast his mind back, and then his lips twitched in response. "Well... hardly ever," he admitted. "I guess I remember a few times..." He let the shaman draw his own conclusions from the innuendo.

Standing Bear nodded. "I have come to know Blair well during the past six months. Your guide is not perfect; he has flaws, just as any man does. He can be impatient, and inconsistent, and prone to act without sufficient forethought. But he is strong and honorable, and a fitting companion to one who is guardian to such a large territory as yours. Do you doubt this?"

"Not now," he whispered hoarsely. "But I did, and that's why I have to make it up to him."

"You are a warrior; as a soldier and as a policeman you know that warriors work together, and defend each other. One warrior may defend another at the risk of injury to himself, or even at the cost of his own life. This is unity of life and purpose; it is not something that must be 'made up for'. Did your companion freely choose a life by your side, or did you trick him into it, and bind him so that he could not escape?"

"Well... I don't think Blair really knew what he was getting into; we just sort of scrambled from one situation to another, and he fell into the habit of being with me."

Standing Bear raised an eyebrow. "Is Blair a stupid man, that he could not see what your life entailed?" He waited for Ellison's mute headshake. "Did he ever complain that your life was too dangerous for him to continue working with you?" Another headshake. "Would you have let him go if he told you he wanted out of your life, to be safe?"

"Of course I would!" he protested hotly. "I'm not some kind of... slave-master, keeping him in chains to pander to my every whim! Hell, I was always telling him to stay in the truck, where he'd be safe, but if it wasn't enough, he could always have walked away!"

"So, your guide is not stupid. He recognized the dangers of your life, but he did not indicate that he was afraid to continue working with you. You did not bind him against his will. In other words, he freely accepted the life of a warrior, working in company with other warriors. Is this not true?"

Ellison nodded, seemingly mesmerized by the shaman's words.

"Tell me; have you ever risked your life in defense of a fellow-warrior, in the army or on the police force?" He waited for a confirming nod. "Have you ever risked your life in defense of your guide?" Another nod. "If necessary, would you take a bullet, or die, to protect a fellow-warrior or your guide?"

"In a heartbeat," Jim answered hoarsely. "Partly, as you say, it's my job; warriors protect and defend each other. But with Blair, it's... I can't even think about his death. I'd do anything to keep him safe; no price is too high."

Standing Bear smiled gently. "And Blair feels the same about you, which is why he acted as he did, and why you must accept it. Emotionally, each of you is holding his friend's life as more important, more worthy, than his own. This is not uncommon among close friends or fellow-warriors. Especially between Companion and Guardian, it is an indication of the strength of your bond. But intellectually, you must realize that each of your lives is equally worthy; he would sacrifice for you, as you would sacrifice for him. To deny your guide the right to offer such a sacrifice is to deny his equality with you. By deciding that your life was not worth his sacrifice, you demean his perceptions and actions, treating him as an ignorant child instead of a capable adult. Can you understand that this is so?"

The shaman waited calmly, sipping his tea, as his younger brother's friend and guardian pondered the new viewpoint. Eventually, Ellison shifted on the mat, and his eyes regained focus as he returned from his deep contemplation. He regarded Standing Bear solemnly as he dipped his head in acknowledgement.

"You're right," he sighed. "The sacrifice was freely offered and is freely accepted, between equals, the same way he might need to accept my sacrifice for him, someday." His slight grin was somewhat shamefaced. "I'll take him down off that pedestal I set him on, and try to remember that he's not some wet-behind-the-ears kid anymore."

"That would be beneficial," the shaman returned gravely. "Now, once again, what does the Sentinel expect from the Guide, in return for his offerings?"

Jim pinched the bridge of his nose as he considered. "This is hard," he admitted. "I never thought about it before." He paused to re-examine his half-formed ideas. "I guess... the Sentinel expects the Guide to offer loyalty, to stand by his side even when the going is rough. And competence -- the Guide is expected to be able to help his Sentinel use his senses fully, and be able to figure out how to alleviate the problems when things go wrong. And... the Guide is expected to help the Sentinel keep his promises of listening and not making thoughtless assumptions. And I guess... the Guide is expected to accept a place working within the police community. But if the Guide cannot be comfortable in that community, he is expected to discuss that openly with his Sentinel, so that they may find a life-path that is acceptable to both." He hesitated as he realized that the sentinel / guide relationship wasn't everything -- and wasn't enough. "And I -- the man, not the sentinel -- hope that Blair will accept my committed friendship, and offer me his own." Ellison paused again to replay his own words in his mind. Satisfied, he nodded firmly. "Yeah, I think that about covers it."

"Excellent! Now you have placed your guide on an equal footing with his sentinel. Together, you can go forward, each trusting the other for loyalty and support, as well as the friendship that your soul longs for. This is as it should be," Standing Bear affirmed.

"So what do I do now, to show him my support?" Ellison asked quietly. "I can't just tell him, and assume that everything will magically be fixed."

"Do you not see that your being here for your friend and guide already shows the unconditional support that Blair needs?" the shaman said gently. "He knows how difficult it is for you to reveal your inner self -- particularly to an outsider such as I am. You showed your support when you did not protest his wish to speak to me about your connection as sentinel and guide. For the rest, your demonstration only needs to come from your heart; how would you like to show your support?"

"Well, I was hoping to join him in the purification ceremony he talked about, if I can. Sort of... I don't know... prove that I'll do whatever I can to help him in whatever way he needs." He frowned slightly. "Uh... it won't be sacrilegious or something, will it, if I don't exactly believe in what he's doing, but I'm just going along for the ride? Not that I think he's wrong or anything," he hastened to assure the shaman. "I don't disrespect your beliefs, just... well, they're not mine; I don't want that to affect the ceremony."

"That will not matter. To stand aside from your own teachings, and act on another's beliefs, shows the highest level of support. Frankly, Blair will be relieved to have you join him; he doesn't quite believe that you will accept what he feels he must do."

"'Must do'?" Jim swallowed, trying to moisten a suddenly dry mouth. "What if his 'must do' is to walk away from me -- from the Sentinel?" he asked uneasily.

Standing Bear's gaze was full of compassion. "That will not happen. Blair is your true Guide, and your friend. He is already committed to returning with you. This is just a small step to smoothing his path back to you, and increasing his harmony with his life-path."

Ellison tried not to show the overwhelming relief that he felt. "Good. So, when can I leave, where do I go, and what should I do when I get there?" With a definite objective in mind, he was once again goal-oriented, focused solely on an upcoming mission.

Standing Bear smiled, understanding the guardian's need to be with his companion. "You must wait just a little longer. Blair is already at his vision place, fasting and meditating as he seeks the guidance of the spirits. Tonight, you must refresh yourself from your journey. Find a comfortable hotel, and eat and sleep well. Tomorrow," the shaman shook his head slightly, "will be difficult for you, but you must compose yourself in patience. You will not eat after the midday meal," he instructed. "Then, as the sun is setting, you will present yourself back here, fresh in body and clothing. You will spend the night sitting by my fire, contemplating the future of Sentinel and Guide, and your places in each other's lives. When the sun rises, I will lend you a horse, and give you directions to reach the vision place."

Jim tried to throttle his impatience; he'd see Blair again in just a little more than a day. "Okay," he agreed. "Then what do I do when I get there? I don't want to ruin Sandburg's ceremony."

"You will do as the Spirits move you, and as your companion needs; that is all you need to know," Standing Bear assured him serenely.

"But..." Jim floundered. He preferred the security of having a definite plan; he couldn't afford to screw up what might be his last chance.

"There is no need to worry. With an open heart and accepting spirit, nothing you do will be wrong." Standing Bear smiled broadly, shifting once again from shaman to Blair's -- and now, Jim's -- friend. "But if you sit here any longer, you'll become so ensnared by 'what ifs' that you won't be able to function. So you must leave now, and I'll see you tomorrow evening."

The discussion was over. Ellison sighed and stood, accepting the inevitable. "Thank you, sir. I appreciate your time, and the insights you've given me. I'll be here tomorrow at sundown."

With that, he allowed Standing Bear to escort him out. When he reached his truck, he turned to see the shaman standing, as before, in front of the teepee, though his gaze seemed warmer than previously. With a formal nod of acknowledgment, which the shaman returned, Jim climbed into his truck. Tomorrow would be difficult, with dragging hours to endure until he returned to keep his vigil by the fire, and then another long night before he could go to Blair. But if that was the way Sandburg wanted it, that was the way it would be.

Ellison put the truck in gear and headed back toward the small town of Gila. He'd seen a small motel with a 'Vacancy' sign on it as he passed through. It had looked as if it would be clean enough, and he wouldn't need anything fancy while he counted down the hours. He glanced at his watch; just thirty-seven hours until sunup of 'B-day'...




Jim guided the sturdy Indian pony around the fallen tree and through the dappled shadows, following Standing Bear's directions to Blair's 'vision place'. He tried to ignore the 'pre-mission nerves' that hadn't been eased by the shaman's lack of instruction. You will do as the Spirits move you, and as your companion needs; that is all you need to know. But despite his uncertainties, he was eager to join Blair in the ceremony; hopefully, when it was finished, his guide would be coming back to Cascade with him.

He reined to a halt at the edge of the treeline, and studied the layout. The clearing was small, approximately 150 yards wide by 300 yards long. At one end, Blair's horse grazed on the late summer grasses, a set of hobbles preventing it from roaming too far. At the other end, a small stream flowed lazily down a rocky bed. Around the clearing, the trees were just beginning to be touched by splashes of orange and yellow as autumn approached. Sandburg's chosen vision place was beautiful as well as peaceful.

Jim felt a lump in his throat as he saw his friend for the first time in almost two years. Sandburg was sitting cross-legged beside a small fire in the middle of the clearing, wearing only jeans, his torso bare to the late morning sunshine. His chestnut curls were tousled, and didn't quite reach the shoulders that seemed broader and sturdier than previously. Whatever Blair had been doing for the past two years, it seemed to have been good for him; he looked fit, healthy, and strong.

Jim hesitated; Sandburg's eyes were closed, and he didn't want to interrupt a meditation. Should he wait, or go forward?

His pony broke the stalemate by nickering to the other horse. Sandburg's eyes opened, and he gazed levelly at Jim, before bestowing a wide, welcoming grin on his friend. Jim thought he also detected a touch of relief in Blair's eyes, and was reassured that, whatever Sandburg was planning, he had been right in deciding to join the ceremony. But Blair didn't speak; he schooled his face to a neutral mask and simply inclined his head gravely to acknowledge Jim's presence, then nodded toward the end of the clearing where his own horse grazed.

Ellison obeyed the silent instructions, and guided his horse to the same area. He hobbled the animal, then stripped off saddle and bridle, and placed them over a low-growing branch. He walked toward Sandburg, who once again had his eyes closed, and pondered his next actions. Deciding that he should approach the ceremony as open and unfettered as his friend seemed to be, Jim removed his own shirt, boots, and socks, and sank to the ground on the opposite side of the fire from Blair, taking a similar cross-legged position.

For a long time, neither man spoke. Jim listened to a myriad of sounds that constituted the 'silence' -- the gentle chuckling of the stream, the quiet hiss and crackle as the low flames ate the wood, the soft sighing of the breeze as it rustled the leaves of the trees, and the quieter note as the grasses moved under its impetus. Briefly, he wondered how much Blair could hear, or if he was so deep within himself that he heard nothing at all. It didn't matter; Ellison relaxed under the warm sun on his skin, and waited.

Finally, Blair shifted and opened his eyes; his face was calm as he regarded his friend. "Sentinel, have you come freely to participate in this ceremony?"

"I have," Jim stated firmly, hoping that Blair could read his sincerity.

"Sentinel, why have you come?"

Why? Because he couldn't not come. "Because I had to," he blurted.

"Sentinel, why have you come?"

Okay; why had he come? For Blair, of course. "I come to support my Guide," he intoned gravely.

Blair nodded, then smiled happily, becoming Blair-the-friend, rather than Blair-the-mystical-Guide. "Okay, Jim, this first part is mostly mine. I'll ask you to join in later."

He reached into his backpack -- the same one, Jim noted -- which had been lying to one side, and pulled out a notebook and pen. Plumbing the backpack's depths again, he pulled out a handful of strips of paper. Blair balanced the notebook on his knee to provide a stable writing surface, glanced thoughtfully at Ellison, gnawed on the end of the pen for a moment, then began to write.

Jim waited while Sandburg scribbled feverishly, one sentence to each strip of paper. As Blair finished each one, he laid it facedown on the ground beside him, so that not even sentinel vision could read it.
~Jim Ellison didn't trust Blair Sandburg.~
~Jim Ellison thought Blair Sandburg would lie to his face.~
~Jim Ellison thought Blair Sandburg would deliberately divulge secrets he had promised to keep.~
~Jim Ellison refused to listen when Blair Sandburg tried to explain what had happened.~
~Jim Ellison wanted to be a not-sentinel, and a not-sentinel doesn't need a guide.~
Jim grew restless; shouldn't he be part of this ceremony? "Chief, do I get to read those?"

"Not these, Jim, the next batch."

"But if this is supposed to help us clear the air, shouldn't I know what... I mean, how... I mean..." He floundered to a stop, uncertain how to express his confusion, or his feeling that he had to know.

Blair regarded him solemnly. "Jim, this part is to get rid of all the anger and the negative feelings in me. What I'm writing is some stuff that's not even true anymore, but if I don't express it some way, it'll fester inside. But if you read it, you'll probably feel guilty, and think you have to make excuses, and we'll have hurt feelings all over the place. Honest, you don't have to see it because soon it'll be gone and it won't matter anymore." He bent his head to continue writing, trying to let all the negative emotions flow through the ink onto the paper.

Jim still wasn't comfortable, but it was Blair's call. He settled into the patient, watchful waiting that had served him so well in the past, and resolutely avoided using enhanced vision to see what Blair was writing.
~Whatever Blair Sandburg does, Jim Ellison seems to ascribe the worst possible motives to its reasons.~
~Jim Ellison wants to deny the spiritual, integral parts of being a sentinel.~
~Jim Ellison doesn't trust Blair Sandburg's judgement.~
~Jim Ellison said he didn't want Blair Sandburg around.~
Finally, the frantic scribbling slowed, then stopped. Blair set aside the notebook and pen, picked up the strips of paper, and silently re-read each statement. He looked up at his waiting sentinel. "Okay, Jim, reach in my backpack and hand me the grinding bowl."

Ellison was puzzled; the bag was actually closer to Sandburg than it was to him. Maybe there was some significance in the bowl passing from his hand to Blair's? Acting with a reverence that he hoped wasn't misplaced, Jim used both hands gently cupped around the sides to withdraw the hollowed rock, with the pestle-stone nestled within, and presented it to Sandburg with a slight bow of his head. Blair accepted it in both hands with equal reverence and an answering nod, then placed it carefully on the ground between them. With a look, he encouraged Jim to match his own cross-legged position on the other side of the bowl. When Blair was satisfied that their positions were right, he picked up the strips of paper and began to tear them into tiny scraps, dropping the bits into the stone basin.

"Okay, Jim, now I need the dried corn from the leather pouch."

Once again he reached into his friend's backpack, and pulled out a small bag, about the size of his hand. It looked authentic, made of tanned animal-hide, with a pattern of beadwork made from porcupine quills and carved bone; briefly, he wondered where Sandburg had got it. With the same feelings of solemnity instructing his actions, he once again made a two-handed ceremonial presentation to Blair, and saw it accepted in the same manner.

Blair poured a double-handful of the dried corn into the grinding bowl. Rising on his knees to obtain a better working position, he began to pound the corn, grinding it into coarse meal and, incidentally, shredding the pieces of paper until they were indistinguishable from the cornmeal. But Sandburg continued to pound, the effort shortening his breath to grunted panting as he started sweating from the exertion. Jim watched, feeling slightly uneasy, as his friend continued pounding and grinding until the corn and paper was reduced to the texture of fine flour.

For his part, Blair was investing all his anger and frustration into the corn and the written words. All of these emotions needed to be purged, especially the biggest one -- Jim didn't trust, didn't trust, didn't trust... But that was no longer true, and he needed to obliterate it from his psyche the same way he was destroying this corn. So he grunted, and beat, and pounded, and visualized smashing the anger as he pulverized the hard kernels -- and watched the anger trickle away as the corn was transformed to coarse meal, then to flour, and lastly to the finest of powders.

Finally, it was finished. Blair sat back on his heels and pushed his hair out of his face. His eyes fixed on the powdered corn as he searched the hidden corners of his mind, seeking any residual traces of his previous resentment. Gone. Thank God, it was truly gone. He raised his eyes to Jim's, with a smile of satisfaction and triumph.

"It's gone, Jim. All the pettiness has been crushed, just like that corn. Now..." he scooped up the stone basin and rose to his feet, his friend following a beat behind, "...we try to ensure that it doesn't return by letting the Spirits dispose of it. Follow me."

Quietly, Sandburg walked toward the stream, with Ellison a step behind. Removing a small amount of the powdered corn, Blair cast it across the surface as he proclaimed, "The waters will wash away the anger, and dilute it, so that it fades into nothingness." Silently, he passed the bowl to his sentinel, with an encouraging nod. Trying not to feel foolish, Jim also tossed a portion of the ground corn upon the water as he repeated Blair's words, then passed the bowl back to his guide.

Blair led them back to the clearing, coming to a halt in a grassy area away from the campfire. Standing with his back to the breeze, he tossed a half-handful of the finely-ground corn into the air. As he watched the particles scatter and drift in the currents, he announced, "The winds will dissipate the frustration, so that it can never find root within us." Again, a small nod persuaded Ellison to imitate actions and words.

Blair headed back toward the campfire, Jim now comfortably beside him. He stopped within reach of the low-burning flames, and tilted the bowl to allow half of the remaining cornmeal to fall and be consumed. Watching the tiny motes flare and die, he declared, "The fire will incinerate the irritation, rendering it impotent and powerless to affect us." He passed the bowl to Ellison, who tipped the last of the powdered corn into the flames while he repeated Blair's words.

Blair heaved a sigh as the last of the ground corn burned to nothingness, then sank cross-legged beside the fire again, waving for Jim to sit next to him, rather than across from him, as before. "Now comes the good part; we celebrate all that's right between us." He passed a handful of the pre-cut slips of paper to Ellison, along with a pen, and a grin. "Think of it as homework, man. "Write at least five sentences -- more if you feel like it -- that tell what you think is good about me and what I do, and why we should keep our partnership together. And I'll write what I like about you, of course. Just one sentence per slip of paper, but..." his eyes twinkled, "... spelling doesn't matter." Then he bent over his own pieces of paper, his hair falling forward to shield his face as he scribbled industriously.
~Jim wrote me he was sorry.~
~Jim said that he wanted me to continue as his partner.~
~Jim said that I have a piece of his soul, and he's happy with that.~
~Jim said he doesn't want to live without me.~
~Jim said he's closer to me than a brother, closer than married couples.~
~Jim said he felt empty without me beside him.~
~Jim said he needs me to use his sentinel senses to their fullest effect.~
~Jim said he'd try to be a better partner, and a better friend.~
~Jim said he needs me to be with him.~
~Jim said he would talk to me, that he would no longer shut me out.~
~Jim's already a good friend; he cleared up the dissertation mess at Rainier.~
~Jim figured out a way to remove the taint of 'fraud' and 'liar' from my reputation.~
~Jim put money in my bank account to try to make my life easier.~
~Jim renovated the loft so that I would have more room, and feel more at home.~
~Jim made the effort to address his own issues -- he actually talked to a shrink and a Rabbi!~
~Jim has made sure that I'll have a place at the PD.~
Sitting beside his friend, Jim stared blankly at his own pieces of paper. Words. Sandburg wanted words. He still felt uncomfortable, almost as if he were on the spot, but... of course, he wasn't. Sandburg would take any offering he made, without judgement; he knew that. And, he'd already written what Blair meant to him, in his letter. So, he just had to write those things again; that would work.
~Sandburg doesn't make negative judgements.~
~Sandburg accepts me for what I am.~
~Sandburg understands my senses, and helps make them work.~
~Sandburg is always there for me.~
~Blair is the most giving person I know.~
~Sandburg knows everything that's inside me, and it doesn't matter to him.~
~Blair wants to keep being my partner.~
~Blair wants to keep living in the loft.~
~Sandburg wants to be Guide to the Sentinel.~
~Sandburg is strong; he can take my guff and give it right back.~
~Blair doesn't hold my guff against me.~
~Sandburg's intelligence and people-insights make him a great partner.~
~Blair 'fits' -- in my life, in the PD, and in Major Crimes.~
~Blair said we'll be partners in the Sentinel thing, not researcher and subject.~
~Blair thinks of me as a 'beloved big brother'.~
~Blair and I make a damn good team.~
The ~scritch~ing of the pens gradually slowed, then stopped, and both men looked up at almost the same moment. Sandburg gave a lopsided, self-conscious grin as he said, "Well, now it's your call, Jim. I'd like you to read what I wrote, but you don't have to show me yours if you don't want to. It's whatever you feel comfortable with, man."

"Chief," he said firmly as he shook his head slightly, "I already told you how I felt; this is just more of the same. I don't mind you reading it. It's kind of sappy, but as long as it's just between us..." He shrugged as he handed over the pieces of paper, receiving Blair's in return.

"Thanks, Jim," he said quietly. "I really appreciate it. Now, no comments as we read these; we just accept what the other person says and feels, got it?"

Jim nodded silently, and started reading Sandburg's thoughts. As he went through the list, his heart eased with a sense of relief and quiet satisfaction. Good, and thank God; Blair recognized and understood all that he'd tried to say in his letter, and his actions, and accepted it all. Ellison breathed a silent sigh of satisfaction, and turned his perceptions outward; how was Blair responding to Jim's thoughts?

Despite his own instructions, Blair couldn't read without commenting, although his whispered words would have been inaudible to anyone but the sentinel sitting beside him. Murmurs of, "Yeah, man, absolutely," and "You really think so? That's great!" assured Ellison that his words were being received with equal appreciation.

At last Blair looked up, his gaze meeting Jim's with a quiet serenity. "Now that we know what's in each other's hearts, we give it to the Spirits, so that they'll know, too, and can safeguard it for us. Pass me the basket that's in my backpack."

Once again, Jim reached inside -- Everything but the kitchen sink, he thought with amusement -- and carefully extracted a small, shallow basket. A slight unevenness in its shape suggested that it had been made by less-than-experienced hands, but apparently with great care -- three different grasses had been used to supply color variations that had been woven into an attractive, graceful pattern. As before, he handed it to his friend with ceremonial reverence. But Blair hadn't missed Jim's appraising glance.

"I knew basic basket-weaving techniques, but Mary Two-Feathers showed me how to incorporate the pattern. But I did it all with my own two hands, so that it's an offering of my own work and effort to the Spirits. Now, pass me the canteen."

Canteen? Jim did so, and watched in astonishment as Blair filled the basket. Although tightly-woven, it was not sufficiently so to hold liquids. Blair held it away from himself as he watched the water darken the dried grasses, then drip through to fall on the ground below. "We want it to burn slowly, with lots of smoke, so that the Spirits will have time to capture and save our messages," he explained.

"All right," he continued, when all the water had seeped through the basket, "now we lay our message-strips inside." He handed the basket to Jim, who carefully placed Blair's papers inside, and passed it back. Blair laid Jim's papers within, then painstakingly set the basket in the exact center of the low-burning fire. As the flames licked at the offering, and the smoke started to rise, he intoned, "Let the Spirits hold the secrets of our hearts within their safekeeping, so that Sentinel and Guide, and Jim and Blair, always remember their place in each other's lives, and treasure their friendship and partnership. And..." Jim noted that his solemnity now had a twinkle, "... may the good Lord, Yahweh, and the Great Earth Mother also watch over us, and let us not forget what we mean to each other, so that never again will the shit hit the fan. Amen."

Jim manfully caught the snort that tried to escape, and shoved it deep within. "Amen," he answered with suitable gravity and, together, they watched the basket burn smokily into ashes, carrying their heartfelt messages to Whoever -- or Whatever -- would listen.

Oddly enough, despite the sometimes hokey aspects, Jim did feel more confident of his partnership with Sandburg, and certain that it would all work out. The nagging uncertainties were fading and, noting Blair's more relaxed manner and the lack of former tension in his muscles and around his eyes, he rejoiced that his friend was feeling the same benefits. The ceremony had worked; they would go back to Cascade and their partnership with a stronger, unbreakable connection.

"So now what, Chief? Are we ready to head back to Cascade? Or..." he hesitated, uneasily aware that he might be presuming too much, "...do we still have things to talk about?"

"Tomorrow, Jim," Blair murmured gently. "Right now, you ride back to wherever you're staying. I'll spend the night here, do some more meditation, and ride back to the ranch in the morning. How about you meet me there around three?"

His gaze swept the area, noting a distinct lack of supplies. "Sandburg," he objected, "you don't have any food here, or any shelter!"

"I don't need any of that," was the calm reply. "A shaman doesn't eat or sleep when communing with the Spirits, or a guide when meditating. Don't worry, man; I'll be fine.

Jim was unwilling to leave his friend alone. "Blair... it's been two years; I can't just walk away! How about I stay here and keep watch, or something? It's what a sentinel does, after all. I promise, I won't disturb your meditation."

"I know how you feel, big guy, but this is something I have to finish alone." His gaze was earnest as he tried to reassure his friend. "I'll be perfectly safe here. Just come to the ranch tomorrow; I'll be there.

Still reluctant, but realizing that arguing might damage the peace they had constructed between them, the Sentinel once again followed his Guide's instructions. He put on his shirt and boots, then saddled and bridled his horse, removed the hobbles, and led it to the stream for a drink before they started the long ride back to the village. Finally, he swung into the saddle and guided the horse to the homeward trail.

As he reached the treeline, Jim paused and looked back to see Sandburg once again sitting cross-legged by the fire, eyes closed in silent meditation. He wasn't particularly surprised to see Incacha sitting on the other side of the fire, with the wolf and panther completing the circle, and Incacha's spirit eagle watching from a not-too-distant tree. Reassured that his guide was safe, he turned again and headed into the forest.




The blue and white pickup passed under the peeled-pole archway with the metalwork sign that proclaimed, "C-Bar Ranch - Welcome". Ellison looked around, then headed toward the "Guest Parking" sign.

As he exited the truck, Jim glanced again at his watch. 2:36. Well, that was 'around three'. He simply couldn't wait any longer. Sandburg must surely be here by now, but where? Aided by the discreet signs on the front of each building, it was easy enough to recognize the main house, guest quarters, office, and bunkhouse, but which one held his partner?

Scent wouldn't work. Although he could catch traces of Sandburg under the dusty earth, animal smells, fresh and dried manure, and dozens of other olfactory inputs, the target scent was too diffuse, and too long-standing to follow a fresh trail.

Sound? There wasn't much activity to screen his guide's heartbeat. Jim delicately extended his hearing -- and there it was. He headed toward the office, eager to get Blair into the truck, back within his senses, his circle of protection, his... personal comfort zone.

As he approached the building, Sandburg stepped out onto the porch and stood without speaking, regarding Jim solemnly. He seemed to be waiting, expecting something specific, and Jim paused in confusion. What? Hadn't they covered this yesterday?

As his mind searched frantically for a clue, he suddenly remembered a line from Blair's first letter. We need to throw out all our old reactions and preconceptions about each other and start fresh... Yes, of course. The pattern for first meetings was well-known.

He climbed the steps to the porch and extended his hand. "How do you do?" he said easily. "I'm Jim Ellison."

Blair's hand met his with equal formality. "Pleased to meet you," he answered. "I'm Blair Sandburg." Then the wide, easy, Sandburg smile brightened his face as he looked up at his friend. "God, Jim, I'm so glad to see you!"

Jim's face sported an answering smile as he dropped Sandburg's hand and gathered him into a profound hug, which Blair fervently returned. "Me, too, Chief," he murmured, reveling in the contentment of being with his friend and guide after so long apart. "Me, too." He tightened the hug, and felt Blair reciprocate. They stood for a timeless interval -- friend and partner, Jim and Blair, sentinel and guide -- each silently promising the other that they would never again be parted.

Finally, when the need to touch and reconnect had been marginally satisfied, Jim pulled back just a little, but still kept his hands on Blair's shoulders. "You --" His voice cracked under the emotion, and he cleared his throat to try again. "You ready to come home, Chief?"

Blair's smile became impossibly wider, seeming almost incandescent. "Home." He seemed to savor the taste of the word in his mouth. "Y'know, it's a cliché, but that's gotta be the sweetest word in the language. Yeah, Jim, I'm ready to come home."

He slung his backpack over his shoulder and reached for the duffle bag that had been waiting next to the porch railing. Ellison, seeing his intent, grabbed it first. Then, with Jim's arm across his partner's shoulder, and Blair's arm around his friend's waist, Sentinel and Guide headed toward the truck, ready to face their destiny -- together.



The End


Aussie - American Translation

Drongos - idiots

Fair go, a - a decent chance

Gave you a gobful - gave you a hard time

Good oil, the - the real truth

Grog - alcoholic beverage

Itching for a blue - asking for a fight

Stickybeak, a - a nosy person

Suss out, to - to check out or discover





The "Letters" Trilogy --
1. Letter to Blair - Post TSbyBS. Jim writes an unmailable letter. 8 pages.

2. Letter to Jim - Blair's letter tells Jim of his hopes and plans. 11 pages.

3. Moving Forward - Resolution of the two letters. 60 pages.



Author's Notes

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Title: Them's the Breaks
Summary: It can be surprising who's 'essential'.
Style: Gen
Size: 3,715 words, about 8 pages
Warnings: None
Notes: December 2008.
Feedback: Not necessary, but I certainly do like to get it!
Email: If you prefer not to post a comment that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org


Them's the Breaks

by StarWatcher



Monday

"I'm telling you, Jim -- beauty is not only in the eye of the beholder, it's a factor of one's culture as well." Blair hopped out of the truck and followed Jim to the elevator. "Like -- in our culture, there's an expectation that women will have full, lush hair, and men just have to wash and comb theirs. But in the Masai culture, women keep their heads shaved, while the warriors wear long braids, which they've dyed with red clay. Both standards are considered beautiful in their culture, but would stand out as unusual, or even ugly, when judged from a different culture."

"Sandburg, what does that have to do with the price of tea in China?" Jim asked as they stepped out of the elevator and headed toward Major Crime. "Or, more specifically, this case?"

"I don't know, yet," Blair admitted. "But I'm pretty sure that when we figure out why the perp is leaving pictures of spiders on the victims' kitchen tables, we'll have a major clue to his identity that will lead us right to him. I'll hit the library this afternoon and do a little research; I bet I can--"

He stopped short, staring at the attractive young woman behind Rhonda's desk. Speaking of hair -- hers fell in soft auburn waves, framing a golden complexion and setting off a pair of warm, brown eyes. Wow; a goddess. Blair quickly stepped ahead of Jim, who chuckled and moved back, leaving the playing field to his horndog partner. Blair was deliberately projecting 'friendly and sincere'.

"Hi! I'm Blair Sandburg and this is Jim Ellison. Are you looking for someone? I'm sure Rhonda will be back in a few minutes, but maybe I can help; I know everyone on this floor."

The goddess returned his smile. "I'm Felicity Harris; nice to meet you. But, no, I'm not looking for anyone. The temp agency sent me over while your secretary is out, and I'm just trying to figure out these forms in the computer."

"Oh, I can help with --"

"Temp agency?" Jim's voice overrode Blair's. "Why? What happened to Rhonda?"

"Is that your secretary?" Felicity shook her head slightly. "I don't know; I was just told to report here."

"Thank you." Jim's nod was curt. "C'mon, Chief; let's see what Simon knows." He strode away so quickly that Blair had to trot to keep up.

"Jim, get a grip. So Rhonda takes a couple of days off; it's not the end of the world."

"You should know better than that, Chief, either through your 'cultural observations' or because you've dealt with it at the university. A competent secretary is priceless, and one who doesn't know what she's doing can cause more damage than a dozen terrorists. If you think the Sunshine Patriots were bad..." Jim knocked briskly on the captain's door, and was through it while 'Come!' was still reverberating through the air.

"Simon, what happened to Rhonda, and when will she be back?"

The captain tossed down his pen and leaned back in his chair. "Good morning to you, too, Jim. Would you like a cup of coffee?"

Jim shook his head impatiently. "Simon, you know how fast things go to hell whenever Rhonda's not here. What happened, and how long will she be out?"

"Oh, come on, Jim!" Blair protested. "Temps are usually pretty good -- they have to be flexible, and comfortable with different types of systems. I mean, Rhonda's good, but she's not some magical superwoman. I think we should give Felicity a chance."

"Make time on your own time, Sandburg," Simon ordered, almost by reflex. "We can't keep her around just because you see dating possibilities. Jim's right. I don't know whether it comes from being a police secretary in general, or if it's the specific assignment to Major Crimes, but every time Rhonda's away, we start a slow slide toward Hell." His face tightened grimly as he shrugged. "But it can't be helped. Some idiot kid who should have known better lost control of his skateboard on a patch of ice and slammed into Rhonda outside of IKEA last night. The doctors tell her she can't use crutches or drive for at least six weeks, so she's stuck at home in a wheelchair."

Blair's creased brow showed his concern. "Man, that's rough. And Rhonda lives alone -- will she be able to manage? We could all pitch in--"

"She's okay. Rhonda said her niece is on Christmas break from college; she'll move in to help her aunt for the next month."

"Which is great for Rhonda," Jim growled, "but what about us?"

"We're adults, Ellison, and trained police officers; we don't need Rhonda to be our surrogate mommy. We'll just have to suck it up and deal with the secretarial fallout."

"But --"

"I'll help." Blair's offer couldn't hide his eagerness to talk to the lovely temp. "I can show her the ins and outs of the computer system."

"Fine; have at it. Now if you'll excuse me, gentlemen, I have paperwork to attend to -- as I'm sure you do as well, Ellison. Close the door behind you on your way out."

Obviously, further complaints would be useless. Jim headed toward his desk and booted up his computer, while Blair swerved toward the lovely Ms. Harris. Surely he could help her figure out the PD systems, and enjoy her company until Rhonda returned.




Tuesday

As soon as he stepped into the bullpen, Jim noticed the undercurrent of aggrieved mumbling; his fellow detectives were swearing quietly as they hunched over paper forms and notepads. What the hell?

Blair ignored this unusual behavior and turned eagerly toward Rhonda's desk -- to be met by the sharp gaze of an older woman, her brown hair liberally sprinkled with gray, wearing an air of firm competence.

"Uh... what happened to Felicity?"

"Ms. Harris decided her experience level was not suited to this position and asked to be reassigned. I'm Mrs. Saunders; I'll be taking over."

"But I thought Felicity really had a handle on things when we left yesterday," Blair protested. True, he'd had to leave her on her own when he'd followed Jim to ask more questions of the 'spider thief's victims, but what could have happened in the two hours before quitting time?

"Not so's you'd notice, babe," Henri said as he walked up. "Somehow she knocked out the entire computer network on this floor. We're just lucky the PD doesn't have the entire building on the same network; not everyone's been tossed back to the stone age." He handed some paper-clipped pages to their new temp. "Here you go, Mrs. Saunders; one copy to the prosecutor's office, another to the DA's office, I get the third copy, and the original goes in the permanent-file room at the end of the hall; turn right as you head out."

Blair stared slack-jawed as Henri headed back to his desk, then rallied and turned back to Mrs. Saunders. "Well, hey, I guess it could happen to anyone; I hope Felicity doesn't feel too bad about it. But anyway, thanks for stepping in."

"Do you have an estimate when the computers will be up again?" Jim asked, abruptly.

"The technicians are working; they expect it to be just another hour or two." Her reply was crisp and self-assured, but her eyes didn't meet theirs.

Jim grunted and strode toward his desk. Blair scrambled to follow, and gave Jim a light punch on the arm when he caught up. "Jeeze, man, can't you at least try to make nice?"

Jim shrugged as he sat down and noticeably aborted his move to switch on the computer. "I told you, Chief; everything will go down the tubes while Rhonda's out." He glared at the dark computer, then stood. "C'mon. We can check back at the earlier robberies; maybe the computers will be up when we get back."




Wednesday

"Detective Brown!" Simon thundered. "Why is the DA's office complaining to me that they don't have your information for the Clellan case?"

"Captain?" Henri blinked his confusion. "I don't know; I handed it to Mrs. Saunders yesterday, and told her where all the copies had to go. I thought I was clear."

Simon sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I suppose the pain was distracting, even though she tried to work through it. I'm quite sure she didn't expect to come down with acute appendicitis and leave here on a stretcher." He waved at Rhonda's desk; it was much too early for him to feel this tired. "You'll just have to go through those stacks of pages to find yours, make the copies yourself, and get them sent off."

"Yes, sir." Henri sat down and tentatively started going through the largest stack. "So, do we get a temp today, or do we have to wing it all by our lonesome? I just hope the next temp can get things in order."

"You and me both, Brown. Supposedly we've been granted a very competent woman, but I'm told she'll be in 'later'; she's had something come up," Simon growled as he returned to his office.




Thursday

Blair pulled his coat tighter around him, and shivered as he looked toward the lowering gray clouds. It was a miserable day for an evacuation. "It's an ordinary break-room; how did she manage to start a fire?"

Jim shoved his hands into his pockets and lowered his sense of skin sensitivity another notch. "Good question, Chief. Ms. Flynn is either highly talented or highly inept. I did warn you--"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah; temps never fit into the PD. I'm beginning to believe you." Blair shivered again. "Can you tell how soon we'll be able to go back inside?"

Jim cocked his head as he extended his hearing, monitoring the progress of the firemen. "It'll be a while; the fire's out, and it sounds like the damage is minimal, but they have to check for hotspots."

"Great," Blair groaned. "Think we can wait in the truck? It'd be a little warmer."

"I've got a better idea." Jim used an arm around Blair's shoulders to urge him away from the PD. "I think we can wait in the coffee shop down the street, and make guesses about how the next temp will fall on her face."

"That's cold, man, really cold."

Jim watched the first scattered snowflakes begin to fall. "No pun intended, Chief? Besides, the temperature of my observation doesn't make it any less correct, does it?"

"I guess not," Blair agreed. "We need to give Rhonda a medal when she gets back. I knew she was good, but I wouldn't've believed that her job would put four temps on the ropes!"




Friday

Mrs. Williamson seemed unexceptional -- plump and cheerful, with softly-waving dark hair and a serene 'can-do' attitude. Blair welcomed her with a small, insincere smile, then made a beeline toward Henri's desk.

"Listen," he said urgently, "I think I've figured out a solution. You grab Dills, Rafe and Bennet. I'll pick up Jim, Joel, and Samuels, and we'll all meet in Interrogation Room Four in ten minutes."

It took fifteen minutes. Blair stopped the rising volume of questions and speculations by putting two fingers to his mouth to deliver a sharp, shrill whistle. "C'mon people!" he ordered. "We need to get this done before Simon gets suspicious."

Jim chuckled. "You're the one giving the lecture, Chief. Make it as long or as short as you want. I don't have any trouble blaming you if Simon comes charging through the door."

Blair rolled his eyes, but refused to dignify the teasing with a response. "Okay, in words of one syllable -- since it's likely that Major Crimes won't survive a succession of temps for the next month, I think we should talk Rhonda into coming back early. If we all pitch in and help, we can make it work -- but you'll all have to do your part."

As easily as that, he had everyone's attention. "What do you want us to do, Hairboy?" "Anything, Blair; it'll be worth it." "What's the plan, Chief?"

"It's simple; we'll have to be her transportation and legs until she's back on her feet. We'll set up a schedule -- a different person to pick her up and take her back home each day. She won't be able to reach the permanent files, so whoever's in the bullpen will need to take turns going to file things when Rhonda has a stack -- maybe around eleven and four each day."

Blair look around the table. There were approving nods as the others considered his suggestions. "And we'll need to arrange things a bit to make it easier for Rhonda to do things from her wheelchair," he continued. "Like, get a low table in the break-room to set the microwave and coffeepot on; she won't be able to reach them on the counter, and there might not be anyone around to help if she wants to grab a cup of coffee or heat up her lunch."

"It sounds like a good plan," Joel said. "If everyone does their part, it should work -- assuming Rhonda's willing. She might be enjoying a little time off."

Blair grinned. "I'm going to visit tomorrow; I'll wow her with my Hanukah cookies, then ask her. I'll get down on my knees and beg, if I have to. But I wanted to be sure we had it all worked out and everyone was on board before I suggested it to her."

"What about the copy machine?" Rafe asked. "She won't be able to manage that from her chair."

Henri poked him with an elbow, while Blair gave him a sharp look as he replied, "It's not like we're chiseling hieroglyphs on stone tablets. I think we can manage to do our own copying for the duration."

"I'm a pretty fair weekend carpenter," Dills offered. "I could make a good, sturdy railing to stand in front of the Xerox machine. If she wants to, Rhonda could stand on her good foot and use the railing to hold on to, and for balance."

"Thanks, Dills. Why don't you go ahead and make it, and Rhonda can decide if she'll be okay to use it. Even if it's not right away, she might feel comfortable giving it a try in a week or so." Blair looked around the table again. "Okay, transportation -- who wants what days?"

In short order, the plans were finalized. The transportation schedule was approved, and the 'incidentals' spoken for -- Dills would make the railing for the copy machine, Henri had a sturdy low table that he would lend for the duration, and Joel had a small, padded footstool that would allow Rhonda to keep her foot elevated. Bennet and Rafe agreed to look at the bullpen with an eye toward wheelchair-access; anything that would interfere with Rhonda moving from the door to her desk, or from her desk to Simon's office or the copy machine would be moved to another part of the room. A little crowding would be acceptable if it allowed Rhonda to take her proper place as Major Crimes' secretary.

Blair's face wore a broad smile. "This is great, guys! With just a little luck, I think we can make this work. -- Luck!" He turned toward his partner, radiating excitement. "Jim! Your 'spider thief' is Ukrainian... or at least has family from the Ukraine. C'mon, let's look at your notes."

He hurried from the room, while Jim shrugged at the puzzled glances coming from his fellow detectives. "That's what you get when you work with the absent-minded professor," he said with an affectionate smile. "But I'll lay you odds he's on the right track."




"I knew it!" Blair exclaimed as soon as he saw Jim. He pointed to the relevant place in Jim's case file. "Mr. Lutsenko works part-time as a stocker at Abbott's Pharmacy, and all of the victims get their prescriptions there. In Ukraine, a spider on a Christmas tree is a sign of good luck. He probably felt bad about robbing the people, and left the spider pictures to give them a little luck!"

Jim frowned over the name. "Sandburg, he hardly qualifies. Maybe his grandparents were from the Ukraine, but he was born and grew up an American."

"Exactly!" Blair crowed. "It's actually a neat story -- about a poor family who couldn't afford to decorate their Christmas tree, so that night the household spiders spun webs all over the tree. The next morning, the rising sun turned the webs to golden sparkles, so the family felt blessed. It's just the sort of story from the 'old country' that a grandmother would tell her grandson, and something that would enthrall a little boy... a story he'd remember all his life. I'm telling you, Jim, you've gotta check him out again!"

"It sounds thin to me, Sandburg, but it's the best lead we have so far. Okay; grab your coat and let's go talk to Mr. Lutsenko.




Monday

Jim and Blair held the doors open while Henri pushed Rhonda into Major Crime. Henri used a brisk pace, then stopped short and turned with almost military precision so that Rhonda faced her desk, and the large banner draped above it.

Welcome back!
We missed you!


As soon as she caught sight of it, every person in the room rose to give her a standing ovation, interspersed with cheers and whistles.

"Welcome back, Rhonda," Jim said with fervent sincerity as he crossed behind her desk and pulled out the brand-new, top-of-the-line, ultra-cushioned executive chair. "Your throne awaits."

"Hmm... if I'd known the perks were this nice, I'd have broken my leg years ago." Despite her teasing words, Rhonda seemed a bit flustered. "You didn't have to do this; if I get tired of the wheelchair, my regular chair will be just fine."

"Not even!" Blair insisted. "You need more back support and stability, to keep your body aligned so your leg will heal properly." He gestured broadly. "Try it out; see what you think."

Rhonda had learned -- along with everyone else in Major Crime -- that you could either follow Blair Sandburg's suggestions, or listen to thirty minutes of explanation as to why his suggestions made the most sense. And, realistically, it didn't matter where she sat, as long as she could stay off her feet. She shrugged and grabbed the edge of her desk to pull herself up, then eased into the new chair that Jim had moved into position.

Once settled, with her bad leg propped on a handy carved wooden footstool with a cushioned, tapestry top, Rhonda looked up to see the entire room watching anxiously. She smiled gratefully and spoke up. "I think this will work. I actually had my doubts, but we all know how persuasive Blair can be, so I thought I'd give it a try." She winked at Blair, as the detectives chuckled. "But I never expected that you'd all go to so much trouble to make it easier for me. It wasn't necessary -- any competent temp could handle my job -- but I really appreciate the way you include me in the group; thank you."

Blair shook his head vigorously. "I said the same thing, but five temps last week have proved us wrong. You must have some sort of secret mojo, because no one can do your job like you can. So now you see before you a roomful of people prepared to offer any assistance you need, just so we can have your steady hand at the helm. And to that end..." he reached into the desk's top drawer, pulled out a small hand-bell, and presented it to her with a flourish. "If you need anyone to fetch and carry, just ring."

"Oh, really?" Rhonda was almost giggling; she'd been bored stiff at home, and it felt wonderful to be back among her coworkers and friends. "I think I need to test it out." Lifting the bell from Blair's hand, Rhonda shook it sharply, her expression almost impish as she waited to see what would happen.

Obviously, no one had discussed this part of the plan; the responses were disorganized and varied. But all were heartfelt, from Henri's automatic, "Yes, ma'am?" to Bennett's snappy salute accompanied by, "Ma'am, yes ma'am!" to Jim and Blair's synchronized -- how did they do that? -- stylized butler-bow. "You rang?" they intoned together.

This time, Rhonda did giggle; the attention wouldn't last, but she could have fun for a while. On the other hand, she saw Captain Banks standing in the doorway of his office. His eyes were amused as he watched the goings-on, but this was a police department; enough was enough.

"I need Blair to bring me a cup of coffee. The rest of you -- go be detectives." So saying, Rhonda scooted herself closer to her desk and booted up her computer. If the temps had fallen down on the job, there was no telling what kind of damage-control she needed to do.

Blair picked up Rhonda's mug and headed toward the break-room, but was stopped by the Captain's voice. "In here, Sandburg."

As he entered the office, Simon lifted his coffeepot and held it out toward Blair. "I think Rhonda deserves the good stuff today, don't you?"

"Absolutely, Simon!" Blair agreed heartily. "You guys were right all along, so anything that keeps her here is a good thing. Although..." he continued thoughtfully, "it really seems contrary to common sense. There should be a paper in there, somewhere; I wonder if I could measure what Rhonda does different..."

"Sandburg, go take Rhonda her coffee and do your brainstorming on your own time. Some of us have work to do!"

"Oh, yeah... sorry, Simon."

"But, Sandburg?" The Captain's voice stopped him midway through his turn.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks, kid. We all owe you one." Simon scowled at the smile that spread across Blair's face. "Now get out of here; that coffee's too good to let it get cold."

"You got it, Simon. After all, we all know who's the real boss around here; I'll be sure to keep her happy and comfortable."

Blair scampered through the door, leaving only a chuckle behind. Simon's scowl deepened for a moment, then changed to a reluctant grin. Let it go; for once, the kid deserved to have the last word.



The End




Author's Notes

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Title: Rain, Rain, Go Away
Summary: The rain is driving Blair crazy.
Style: Gen
Size: 6,030 words, about 12 pages
Warnings: None
Notes: April, 2009.
Feedback: Not necessary, but I certainly do like to get it!
Email: If you prefer not to post a comment that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org



Rain, Rain, Go Away

by StarWatcher






Blair Sandburg stood under the overhang at the top of the steps outside of Hargrove Hall and softly muttered, "Crap." The rain continued to fall, as it had for days -- more than a drizzle, less than a downpour, depressingly steady and inescapable and, worst of all, never-ending.

"Buck up, Sandburg," he told himself sourly as he remembered the distance between his current position and the remote spot across the parking lot where the Corvair waited. "Putting it off won't keep you any drier." Sighing deeply, he pulled the hood of his rain-poncho farther over his head and face, hunched his shoulders in an unconscious attempt to shed the cold dampness, and headed down the steps.

Blair was mournfully aware that his 'nerd vibes' must be overpowering any creds he'd picked up by working with Jim at the PD. The hooded yellow rain-poncho he'd bought after four days of non-stop rain was majorly uncool, and -- because he draped it over his backpack to keep his books and papers dry -- he figured anyone watching could easily mistake him for a troll. But at least, from his head to his knees, it kept him dry from the falling rain.

Unfortunately, the poncho's protection extended only so far; there was no way to avoid the puddles that settled in to, and spread out from, every tiny depression in the sidewalks, streets, and... parking lots. From his knees down, his jeans and shoes were permanently damp -- when they weren't outright soaked. He tried to ignore the clammy fabric that chilled him each day, but it wasn't easy.

Too bad I'm not really a shaman, like Jim's guide with the Chopec, Blair thought as he trudged toward his car. I'd conjure up a personal shield around me that would keep me dry. Better yet, I'd cast a spell to make it STOP RAINING!

He glared toward the heavy, low-hanging clouds as he reached the Corvair, but the Gods showed no signs of relenting. Sighing again, he slipped out of the backpack and tossed it toward the passenger seat as he slid into the car. His nose wrinkled at the musty smell of damp and mud that was evident even to non-sentinel senses; Blair wondered if he'd ever get the interior completely dry, even after the rain stopped. It had to stop sometime, didn't it?

But he could deal with that another time. Right now, Blair was looking forward to reaching the loft, taking a long, hot shower, donning his warmest sweats, and parking himself next to the fire while he graded mid-semester essays. Thank god it was Jim's night to cook.

On the other hand, a hot stew with fresh cornbread would really hit the spot in this kind of weather. Maybe he'd get it started before Jim got home, and they could both relax while it simmered.

Blair nodded firmly as he turned onto Prospect. Yeah, that would work. Like Jim always said, the simplest plans were the best.




As Jim approached the door, he heard Blair muttering balefully. "Between the internet and your textbook, there's no excuse for this. You can't extrapolate anything valid from 'Indiana Jones'; Hollywood doesn't do their research, either, and it makes you look like a lazy fool."

Chuckling, Jim stepped into a haven that denied the foul weather. There was a fire snapping in the cast-iron fireplace, and the smell of a hearty beef stew filled the room. Blair was sitting cross-legged on the floor, as close to the fire as he could get without singeing himself. He'd obviously showered -- despite the heat of the fire, the hair fanned across his shoulders wasn't quite dry -- which might not be such good news for his weather-beaten partner. "Smells good, Chief, but did you leave any hot water for me?"

"Hey, Jim." Blair looked up, then rubbed his eyes under his glasses before glancing at the clock in the kitchen. "Yeah, man, I finished up about an hour ago; the water's had plenty of time to heat up again." He stood and arched backward to loosen the kinks in his back. "The cornbread's mixed and waiting for you. I'll just shove it in the oven while you shower, which means we can eat in thirty minutes. Go, soak the frostbite out of your bones." Blair made vague flapping motions as he headed toward the kitchen.

Jim 'tsk'ed as he hung up his coat and left his shoes against the wall. "It's not that cold, Chief. Wet, I'll grant you, but fifty-one degrees doesn't lead to frostbite." Nevertheless, he headed up the stairs to grab some clean clothes; he'd been looking forward to a hot shower for the past two hours.

Blair closed the oven door and set the timer. "I'll bet you and the abominable snowman have a great time walking barefoot in the snow. Me, I want my springtime to include blue skies and lots of sun; eight days of rain is just... inhuman."

"That's it exactly, Chief. Since no one controls the weather, you'll have to tough it out like the rest of us. Or use some mumbo-jumbo chanting to convince the weather gods." Jim closed the bathroom door and turned on the water, waiting for it to get hot, carefully not listening to whatever response Blair might have. He was sure that, by the time supper was ready, Blair would have developed a full 'Sandburg lecture' that explained the effects of prolonged rain on the human psyche, as well as the physical impact on the city, towns, forest and farmlands. Not that he'd ever let Blair know, but Jim looked forward to the occasional emergence of 'Professor Sandburg'; his lectures were more entertaining than ninety percent of what was on TV.




Jim stretched and turned off the late news, then glanced at Blair. The kid had gone back to his grading right after supper, and was still hunched over those damned blue books. Come to think of it, he didn't look too good; there was kind of a pinched look to his face, and he'd been rubbing his eyes a lot this evening.

Jim extended his senses. Blair wasn't running a fever, and he didn't smell sick, just... tired. Not surprising; they'd had two late-night stakeouts this week, and Blair had been staying late at the university to catch up with his work there. In fact, this was the first evening Blair had made it home before Jim since... a week ago, yesterday. Jim shook his head; if the kid didn't get some major sleep soon, he was going to crash -- bigtime.

"C'mon, buddy," he said quietly. "It's late; time for all good little anthropologists to be in bed."

"Huh?" Blair looked up, blinking in confusion. "Bed? Oh... yeah." He shrugged a shoulder, and bent his head over his marking once again. "I'll go in a little while, after I finish this one and maybe one more."

"Pull the other one, Chief; I've heard it too many times before." Jim crossed the room, pulled the pen and book out of Blair's hand, and urged him to his feet. "You really need a good night's sleep; when you're all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning, your grading will go a lot faster and easier."

Blair shook his head, even as he stumbled toward his room at Jim's gentle urging. "No, but see, after the grading, I have to work on next week's lecture, and tabulate the results from the tests we did last week, and --"

"And you can't do any of that without sleep." Jim pulled back the covers, urged his friend to lie down, and tucked the blankets around his shoulders. "You keep reminding me that I'm not a superman; the same goes for you, buddy. You can get back to saving the world tomorrow." He patted Blair's shoulder, turned off the light, and shut the door as he left.




As tired as he was, Blair lay awake in the dark, listening to the 'plink, plonk, plunk' of raindrops hitting the fire escape on the other side of his outer door. Although normally soothing, the sound was getting on his last nerve, growing louder and more obnoxious the longer it went on. How could anyone sleep like this?

Almost violently, Blair threw back the covers. If the weather gods were going to laugh at him, he'd show them. He wouldn't let a little rain -- or even a lot of it -- get him down; he'd finish his work and find a way to do something about the ongoing deluge. After all, people in the southwest were praying for rain; it wasn't fair that Cascade and surrounding areas should be hoarding it.

Unaware that he was weaving slightly as he walked, Blair crossed into the living room. He grabbed the afghan from the back of the couch and threw it around his shoulders before resuming his spot in front of the fireplace and grabbing a blue book. Jim was right, of course; he needed to sleep, but he could grade a couple of more essays first. At least the sound of the rain hitting the concrete balcony wasn't as loud or intolerable as when it hit the metal fire escape; much closer to the 'soothing' end of the spectrum. Now -- Blair squinted at the page -- if only some of his students would learn to write legibly. Maybe a different angle would let him read it more easily.

Blair stretched out on the floor, hitching the afghan higher to keep warm, propping the book in front of him. Yeah, this was better, much easier on the eyes...

A few minutes later, the book slipped from Blair's loosened grasp as sleep finally overtook him, with muddled dreams of shamans who commanded the rain to come or go.




"So, what's your schedule like today?" Jim asked as he slid a toasted bagel and scrambled eggs in front of Blair. He'd decided the best course of action was to ignore having found his partner curled up on the floor this morning. Judging by how stiffly he was moving, Blair didn't need Jim's input; his body would remind him that a bed was a more beneficial place for sleeping.

"Pretty light; just two classes in the morning, and early office hours. I can be at the PD by one," Blair answered. "You wanna go out and run through that warehouse again, right?"

Jim hesitated. Blair's easy smile couldn't hide the weary shadows under his eyes; he needed to rest. But the likelihood of finding something in the warehouse increased dramatically if Blair was there to help him focus.

"That was the plan," Jim admitted. "But it'll be cold and wet, and you're already dragging. I could probably take Joel with me, let you catch up on your university stuff so you can really relax this evening."

"No way, man, I'm your partner!" The protest was automatic, but no less heartfelt. "And you know paperwork is with us always; I can put it off to another day if I have to."

"But that 'other day' will also have perps to chase down." The logic apparently fell on deaf ears. Jim regarded the stubborn glare coming across the table; he had to find a way to convince Blair.

"Look, Chief, I know this 'partner' thing is important to you, and I appreciate it. But it works both ways; as your partner, I worry about you." He waved a hand to forestall Blair's indignant rebuttal. "Not because you're 'not a cop'; you've proved you can hold your own, whatever we run into. But you're holding down two fulltime jobs -- grad student-professor and cop-partner. If you don't give yourself a break, you'll collapse, and then you won't be able to do either job."

Blair sighed as he raked his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, Jim, I know... but it's dangerous for you to be using your senses when I'm not around. Joel can help with the cop things, but if you have trouble with the sentinel stuff, you're shit-outta-luck. You need me out there! How do you think I'd feel if your senses got screwed up and I wasn't there to help? Grading can wait. Hell, sleep can wait! If you're goin', I'm goin' too."

Impasse. Jim should have known better than to think Blair would back down; he took this sentinel shit seriously. But maybe he'd go for a compromise.

"Then how about this? You meet me at one, we check out the warehouse right away, then you go home and put in some quality time with your schoolwork. After I finish my own paperwork, I'll bring Chinese home, and we can both have an early night; I need it just as much as you do. Deal?"

Blair nodded vigorously. "Sounds like a plan." He quickly finished his breakfast and carried the dishes to the sink, glancing out the balcony doors as he passed.

"I'm gettin' so tired of this rain! At this rate, we'll hit the yearly average by the end of the month."

Jim chuckled as he ran hot water into the sink. "I don't think even we can get another twenty-three inches by the end of next week. And I'll bet the farmers are happy."

"Not really, no," Blair argued as he put on his shoes and started tying the still-wet laces. "This much rain makes the fields too wet to plow and plant. And if they've already planted, the new sprouts could very easily drown." He shrugged his backpack over his jacket, then slipped the rain-poncho over his head. "And too much rain is depressing; do you know the suicide rate goes up in overcast, wet weather? I gotta tell ya', it sure plays hell with my mood."

The kid often let his imagination run away with him, but this sounded kind of serious. "Blair!"

Jim's voice stopped Blair as he was reaching for the doorknob; he turned and looked back. "Yeah?"

"It won't last forever; even Cascade has been known to have clear, sunny days. You just have to wait it out."

Blair smiled almost ruefully. "Yeah, I know. Don't mind me; just letting off a little steam. See you at one." He shrugged a shoulder, smiled again, and headed out the door.




So much for plans, Jim thought as he and Blair entered the loft. Just their luck the perps would come in while they were in the warehouse. A pitched gun battle, then a chase -- first in the truck, then on foot through muddy fields along the shore -- hardly made for a quiet afternoon. And then Blair had to stay for the inevitable paperwork; as a direct observer of the gun battle, and active participant of the chase, he had his own reports to fill out. Fortunately, backup had arrived in time, and the perps had all been captured, but then they had to deal with the aftermath. They hadn't left the PD till after dark, and they were both wet, muddy, and cold. Blair was still filled with adrenalin-induced manic energy; he hadn't stopped talking, even though he was so tired he staggered as he walked.

"You were awesome, man, simply awesome! The way you used the reflection off the side of the car to pinpoint their hiding place was just... just amazing!" Blair laughed on a high, shrill note as he paced around the loft, rubbing his hands together almost frantically. "I don't think I've ever seen you with your senses so on, from the warehouse to the takedown. But I told you -- didn't I tell you? -- you needed me there. Joel couldn't have helped you with that spike, and you know you almost zoned on that reflection thing. But you didn't, 'cause I was there, backing up my sentinel, just like Burton said. Admit it -- admit it, we are so cool together!"

"A little too cool," Jim said as he captured Blair on one of his circuits and removed the jacket from his oblivious partner. He urged Blair toward the bathroom. "Shower, Chief, before you catch your death of cold."

"Now you know that's a fallacy, Jim! Colds are caused by germs, not by getting wet or cold! I mean, look at the guys who jump into freezing water on Christmas day; they're all healthy. And --"

"Chief, I know you're cold. Do you want a hot shower now, or after I've finished?"

"Well, when you put it like that." Blair stepped into the bathroom, still talking. "Of course we wouldn't be wet and cold if it would just stop raining! I'm telling you, we gotta do something about that. Maybe --"

"Shower, Sandburg!" Jim closed the door firmly on Blair's latest brilliant idea; with any luck, the shower would wash it out of his brain. He carried their dinner into the kitchen to dish it onto plates, and keep it in a warm oven until they were ready to eat.




Jim rolled over in bed and raised his head. He didn't need to extend his senses very far to realize that it was Blair who had awakened him, typing on his laptop and muttering to himself in a whisper. Jim shook his head in bemused resignation; he should have known that Sandburg wouldn't let a 'great idea' drop, no matter how tired he was. But if this continued for much longer, the kid would flat-out collapse.

Jim pulled on his robe and walked into the kitchen without speaking; Blair didn't even look up from his laptop. Jim filled the kettle with fresh water, and put it on the stove to heat. While he waited, he leaned against the counter and watched Blair.

He looked terrible -- the shadows under his eyes had deepened, and his eyes had a glazed, almost manic look. He was hunched into a blanket, and had pulled it completely over his head for extra warmth; only his hands stuck out to manipulate the keyboard. The soft muttering was unnerving -- half-finished thoughts and phrases, interspersed with stifled giggles. If Jim didn't know better, he'd think Blair was really a candidate for the funny-farm.

The kettle whistled, and Jim turned off the stove, then filled a large mug with the hot water. He knew exactly where Blair kept the chamomile tea; the guide had used it to calm the sentinel often enough. He grabbed a bag from the cupboard and dropped it into the mug to steep, then carried it to the table and set it where the smell would drift to Blair. Finally, Jim pulled a chair very close to Blair -- right in his personal space -- and sat down, nudging the chair even closer. He didn't expect a long wait; the smell of the tea and the hovering presence of a large, warm body should break through even Sandburg's academic bubble in a few minutes.

He was right; just about the time the tea was cool enough to drink, Blair's fingers stilled on the keyboard, and he looked around in confusion. "Oh. Hi, Jim. What're you doing up?"

"Taking care of you," he answered gently; yelling would just make them both too agitated to sleep. "Chief, I know your brain is rocketing along at super-sonic speeds, but you can't keep this up. Here." Jim picked up the mug, placed it in Blair's hand, and raised it toward his lips. "Chamomile, for calmness and sleep, like you've told me a couple dozen times. Drink it, and take some deep, cleansing breaths, then go back to bed."

"But, Jim, I've figured out how to stop the rain! I can do, it man, I know I can."

"I'm sure you can, Chief," Jim assured him in the same gentle, reasonable tones. "But it can wait till morning. Tomorrow's Saturday. You can sleep late, and be all rested to do your rain-stopping thing. I'll even help you. Promise," he added, as Blair started to object. "But first you've gotta sleep. So, drink up."

Jim waited while Blair obediently drank the tea, his eyes never leaving Jim's face. "That's good," Jim said quietly. "Now, three slow, deep breaths." It was working; the manic glaze was decreasing, leaving Blair's eyes drooping with weariness. "Good job, buddy. Now, back to bed."

Jim helped Blair to stand, and guided him toward his bedroom. Once there, he coaxed Blair to lie down, spread the body-warmed blanket over him, then pulled the rest of the bedding over that. As he patted a shoulder and turned to go, Blair whispered, "You'll help me do it, right? So I can stop the rain?"

Like a dog with a bone, Jim thought; Blair just couldn't let go. "I promise," he answered softly, rewarded by seeing Blair's eyes close as he finally slipped into sleep. Jim could only hope that 'helping' wouldn't be too involved, or turn out to be something against his conscience.




Despite his recent shortage of sleep, Blair was up at eight -- long before Jim had expected to hear him stirring -- putting together a ham and cheese omelet. Jim chuckled to himself as he descended the stairs; even though he'd promised to help, Blair wasn't above bribery -- or, as he called it, 'offering a little incentive'. Blair smiled brightly, and slid a filled plate in front of Jim as he sat down.

"What happened to sleeping late, buddy? Not that I don't appreciate you doing the cooking." Despite his mild complaint, Jim dug into his omelet; Blair knew exactly how he liked them.

"We're working on a deadline," Blair explained earnestly, cutting into his plain cheese omelet. "There's a lot to get ready, and we have to be out there by noon."

Jim took a mental breath, and dived into the Sandburg zone. "Ready for what, and where are we going?"

"I'm going to do an Anti-Rain Dance, and I think it should be in the sand. I figured we could use one of the sand traps on the community golf course; I doubt anyone will be out today." Blair glanced out the balcony doors, where the rain was still streaming down the glass.

"I don't think I've ever heard of an anti-rain dance," Jim said cautiously. "Wouldn't it make more sense to do a sun dance?"

"Well, that's the thing." Blair's eyes were alight with excitement. "The Sun Dance wasn't really an appeal for more sun. It was a way to request power or insight from the supernatural, or sometimes just a celebration of the circle of life, and that's not what we need right now.

"But rain dances were common, especially in the Southwest, where it's so dry -- still are, actually, in a lot of tribes." Blair was growing more enthusiastic, words tumbling out double-time. "Of course, I can't find any information about an Anti-Rain Dance -- when your only water comes from a river or the sky, you're grateful for anything you get, so I doubt the indigenous peoples ever wanted to 'turn it off'. But I figured I could turn the Rain Dance ceremony inside out, and the weather gods would get the message."

"But... you can't just go making up your own ceremony," Jim objected. "I remember with the Chopec, every ceremony had to be done just right. What makes you think an 'inside-out' version will even work?"

"Because it's traditional, but not set in stone. Every tribe had their own version, so variances are acceptable. Did you know the Rain Dance was the one ceremonial dance where women were allowed to participate? In other words, everyone's welcome, with their own version of the dance, and that means me, too!" Blair nodded firmly, smiling with evident satisfaction.

"Well..." Jim was almost afraid to ask. "So what kind of 'inside-outness' are you going to do? It doesn't involve dancing nude, I hope."

Blair snickered. "Just the opposite. The men danced with bare torso and legs, just paint and beads, breechcloth and moccasins. So I figure I'll wear jeans and a vest -- that old multicolor-blue thing, because I want to suggest blue skies -- but with bare feet, no shoes.

Jim breathed a sigh of relief; at least he wouldn't feel obliged to arrest Sandburg for indecent exposure. "Well, that's not too difficult. What else?"

"Nothing too outrageous." Blair winked, as if he'd tapped into Jim's thoughts. "The ceremony calls for silver or leather bracelets, and turquoise and feathers to signify rain and wind. I have plenty of leather straps for necklaces, but I'll tie them around my ankles. But I don't have any amber; we'll have to stop at the rock and mineral store on the way. And the opposite of feathers is no feathers, so that's easy."

"Because amber signifies sun?" Jim guessed.

"Right! Amber radiates light and heat, and the color is the color of the sun. I really should have some already, because amber also grounds and stabilizes the psyche, and it's a healing agent. I don't, but I will after this."

"It sounds easy enough. But why dance in sand? And is there a significance to doing it at noon?"

"Because, even though it's wet now, sand is usually very dry, and that's the message we want to send. I thought of the beach, above the high-tide line, but being in sight of all that water might send conflicting messages. So, sand trap on the golf course. And noon is when the sun is at its highest and brightest. It's still there, even if we can't see it."

"Makes sense," Jim observed. At least, as much as Sandburg's wild ideas ever make sense. He stood, and reached for the plates. "Okay, you go get all geared up while I do the dishes."




Fifteen minutes later, the dishes were washed and dried, and Jim was making a few preparations of his own. He returned from downstairs to find Blair waiting for him, dressed as he'd specified -- blue vest over his shirtless chest, old jeans that had been cuffed to show the leather tied around his ankles, barefooted and wearing...

"Braids, Sandburg? Isn't that a bit girly?"

Blair snorted. "Oh, sure; tell that to countless numbers of Native American men through the centuries. No, for the Rain Dance, the women had their hair bound, and the men let theirs hang free. Inside-out means braids."

"If you say so. Ready to go?"

"Yeah, just one more thing." Blair hurried into the kitchen to grab four bowls -- perfectly ordinary, to Jim's eyes -- and put them next to the CD player on the table while he shrugged into his jacket and stepped into his shoes. "No sense being cold until we get there," he explained to Jim's raised eyebrow.

He picked up the bowls and CD player, then preceded Jim out the door. "I checked the yellow pages; there's a rock and mineral shop at thirteen-seventeen Amber Way -- good sign, huh? -- which is right on the way to the golf course."

"It's a sign of something, all right," Jim muttered as he locked the door behind them. He preferred not to contemplate the possibility that it was a sign Sandburg had gone completely 'round the bend.




As Blair had predicted, there was no one on the golf course. Jim had parked the truck as close as he could to a convenient sand-trap, but the designated 'ceremonial area' was almost two hundred yards away. Blair groaned, watching the rain pelting down. "Y'know, that's the one downside to all this; to turn off the rain, you have to get out in it."

"You don't have to," Jim pointed out. "The weather will change eventually. Couldn't you just -- I don't know -- stay in the truck and pray, or meditate, or something?"

"I could, but it wouldn't be nearly as effective. Besides, what a waste of all this planning and preparation." Blair reached for the chunks of amber he'd bought, and used a leather strap to tie one to the end of each braid. Then he shrugged off his jacket and kicked off his shoes. He pulled a plastic bag out of his pocket and covered the CD player, then picked up the bowls and reached for the door handle.

"Wait, Chief, you haven't told me what my part is. I promised I'd help."

"You have, man; you haven't tried to talk me out of this -- well, not much -- and you've supported my plans so I didn't have to do it alone. The psychic energy of that is a big help." Blair gave Jim a flashing smile, then squared his shoulders, lifted his head, and stepped out into the cold rain without flinching.

Jim watched as Blair crossed the grass toward the sand-trap with a kind of stately solemnity; he wasn't scurrying or rushing to get finished. Once he reached the sand, Blair settled his CD player on the grass at the edge, and pressed the 'play' button; Jim easily discerned the Australian aboriginal music coming from the speakers. With a few seconds' thought, Jim realized that Blair had chosen it deliberately; music produced by a people who lived in some of the driest areas of the world should have strong anti-rain properties. If you believed in that sort of thing.

Blair set the bowls upside-down in the sand, marking the corners of a square about thirty feet on a side. He paused a moment, then began to dance.

The steps were obviously made up but, Jim thought, no less sincere. Blair was doing a rhythmic three-two beat, stomping into the sand with his bare feet, sometimes spinning to the right or the left, but always moving backwards, using the bowl-markers to help him maintain the square. Occasionally he would stoop to grab a clump of sand with each hand, then hold his arms high and let it dribble out between his fingers -- or as close to dribbling as he could manage with wet sand. Then he'd stretch out his arms and let the rain fill his up-turned, cupped palms, after which he'd throw the captured rain away with a violent motion and once again start stomping and spinning.

The music played for half an hour, and Blair kept dancing the entire time. Jim could see the jeans and vest clinging to his body with the weight of absorbed water, the rain dripping from his nose, chin, and the ends of his braids, but still he danced, totally absorbed in the ceremony he was creating. The rain filled the path his feet had formed in the sand, so that his stomping feet kicked water upward to meet the down-coming rain, but Blair continued to dance.

Jim was surprised that Blair stuck it out so long, and a little humbled; this was just an outward demonstration of the same unswerving dedication Blair used when helping Jim maintain control of his senses. For that kind of support, putting up with a little Anti-Rain Dancing wasn't such a big deal.

When the music stopped, Blair seemed to have come to the end of his ceremony. He stood quietly for a few minutes, letting the rain fall on his uplifted face, then shrugged, collected the bowls and CD player, and headed back toward the truck.

Quickly, Jim put his planned preparations into place. He pulled out a large sheet of three-mil plastic from behind the seat, and spread it out to cover the seat and back of Blair's side of the truck. The emergency blanket he always carried went over that, followed by two thick towels -- one to sit on, and one to wrap around Blair's shoulders. He kept a third towel in reserve for the dripping hair. The towels would soak up the water, the blanket would keep Blair warm, and the plastic would prevent water-damage to the fabric of his seats; an elegant solution, if he did say so himself.

Blair opened the door, caught sight of the layers, and chuckled. "Man you are so anal. But this time I won't complain; you think of everything, and I really appreciate it." He sighed deeply as he pulled the towel around his shoulders, followed by the blanket, then wrapped his head in the last towel.

Jim started the truck and headed home. "You looked good out there, Chief, like it really meant something. But notice -- it's still raining."

Blair turned toward him, his smile positively incandescent. "Oh, ye of little faith! Rain can't be turned off like a faucet. But I'm betting it stops sometime tonight, and we'll see sun in the morning. I mean, I really felt a connection out there; I'm sure it worked."

"I hope you're right, Chief; I admit, I'd like a little sun myself."

In truth, it didn't matter. Blair looked more peaceful and relaxed than Jim had seen for the past two weeks; all of the underlying tension was gone. Rain or no rain, it seemed that Blair had found his 'balance' again, regained his normal enthusiastic optimism. Jim realized he'd missed it, and was grateful for its return.

"One question, Chief. I figured out the music, and throwing the rain away, but why the upside-down bowls? You could've used rocks or something to mark your square."

"You saw all that? Of course you did." Blair slapped his forehead. "When will I learn? Anyway, upside-down bowls can't be filled; they were rejecting the rain. The traditional Rain Dance is in a zigzag pattern, while other ceremonial dances are in a circle; the square is more or less the opposite of both."

Of course it was. "Well, Hiawatha, I think that'd earn you an 'A' in any practical anthropology course. But now that it's over, think you can stand a little more wetness?" Jim asked as he turned the truck into Prospect. "I'm betting you'd like dibs on the shower as soon as we get home."

"Oh man, you know it! I intend to stay in hot water till I'm pruney. Well..." Blair glanced at his hands, "till I'm pruniER." Their shared laughter accompanied them into the building.




During the night, the rain drizzled to a stop. Blair awakened momentarily with the subconscious realization that something was 'wrong'. In his sleep-befuddled state, it took him a few moments to realize that he was reacting to the lack of noise from the rain hitting the fire escape. With a satisfied whisper of, "Told ya' so!" he turned over and sank back into deep, peaceful slumber.




Blair sat up in bed and raked his hair out of his face, listening intently. Cool! For the first time in ten days, no sound of rain hitting the metal outside his door. Energized, he leapt out of bed and into a set of comfortable sweats; this was going to be a good day, he was sure of it.

Jim was reading the morning paper over the remains of what looked like a substantial breakfast.

"Is it that late?" Blair asked as he crossed the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee.

"Nine forty-five, Chief, but you needed the rest."

"Yeah, I really did. I'm glad it's Sunday -- in more ways than one." Blair crossed to the balcony doors and regarded the sunny blue skies with a feeling of proud satisfaction. "I can say it now -- I had some doubts. But it looks like my Anti-Rain Dance really worked."

"Looks like it. On the other hand..." Jim rustled the paper, "we've both been too busy to keep up with the news. The weather forecasters have been predicting that a high was coming through, and would push the rain out of the area. Maybe it just finally reached us last night."

"Maybe. Or maybe it got here sooner than it would have otherwise because of the anti-rain ceremony -- or maybe it didn't get here earlier because no one thought to do a ceremony. You gotta admit, the timing is awfully convenient," Blair argued. "If it's a coincidence, it's a helluva big one."

"There would be no word for 'coincidence' if they didn't happen, Chief," Jim pointed out. "But you're right; I saw Incacha -- the shaman of the tribe I lived with -- do a lot of unexplainable things. I guess an anti-rain dance can be added to the list."

"You better believe it, man; I'm good." Blair went back to sipping his coffee as he reveled in the warmth of the sunshine pouring through the balcony doors.

Yes, you are; very good, Jim thought. Thanks for being part of my life, crazy ideas and all; I couldn't do it without you.



The End




Author's Notes

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Title: Merry Christmas, Chief
Summary: Christmas = Friendship + Snow + Love
Style: Gen
Size: 14,190 words, about 25 pages in MS Word
Warnings: None
Notes: Secret Santa request -- Would really like to see: Blair discover his worth to Jim. And it's Christmas, so something in line to snow and such... please. Written September and October, 2007.
Feedback: Not necessary, but I certainly do like to get it!
Email: If you prefer not to post a comment that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org




Merry Christmas, Chief   (gen)

by StarWatcher






Thursday, Dec. 17, 1998

Jim Ellison snatched up the phone before it had completed its first ring. "You're two minutes and thirty-seven seconds late, Chief. Keep this up, and Santa won't bring you anything but coal for Christmas." He let the broad smile -- deliberately pasted on -- infuse his voice, carrying clearly to the man on the other end of the line.

"Jim, Sequoia and Honeybee function according to hippie time; they have one clock in the house, and anything within thirty minutes of the stated time is 'on time'. You're just lucky I can actually call within sight of nine PM; it could just as easily be two in the morning." But under the humor of Blair's response, Jim could hear a tread of tension and weariness; his friend seemed to be withholding an exasperated snap.

"Sorry, Sandburg, didn't mean to push." Jim carried the phone across the room and settled on the couch, lying back against the cushions and lifting his feet to rest on the coffee table. "Call it my awkward way of saying 'wish you were here'. So, how is Naomi? And, for that matter, how are you?" And when are you coming home? he finished silently. He needed this daily contact with Blair, and intended to keep him on the line as long as possible, but it was a poor substitute for his guide's actual presence.

"Naomi's doing pretty good," Blair assured him. Jim could hear rustlings that spoke of a matching 'settling in', five hundred miles away; thank God for modern technology that allowed them to stay in touch. "I've been telling you that natural remedies are best, and they're really paying off for her. The cough is almost completely gone, but she's still feeling a bit weak -- and very restless. She needs me to sit on her when Sequoia and Honeybee are at work, or else she'll overdo and have a relapse. We're mostly just kicking back, reminiscing and catching up."

And running yourself ragged, looking after her, Jim suspected. But he could hardly quibble; this was a man who had jumped out of an airplane, determined to follow him and help find a friend. Taking care of a mother suffering from pneumonia wouldn't even be a blip on the radar. "Sounds good, Chief; very relaxing. How about we trade jobs for awhile? I had to chase a purse-snatcher three blocks today, and then the idiot tried to bean me with a brick while I was arresting him. He was innocent, naturally; he'd been jogging for his health, but got scared when I started chasing him -- strictly mistaken identity, of course -- and that's why he ran. And he didn't have the purse on him when I caught him, so obviously I had the wrong guy."

"Oh, man!" Blair's throaty chuckle warmed Jim more than a blazing fireplace ever could. "I know you found the evidence. What did he look like when you produced it?"

Jim matched Blair's chuckle. "Dumbfounded, Chief; absolutely couldn't believe it. It was a damn slick move; he didn't miss a step as he tossed it behind a dumpster, and he was far enough away that I wouldn't have seen it if I didn't have the senses. I heard him complaining that I was a witch doctor when they put him in the black-and-white."

"No way, man, that's my gig!" Jim relaxed more as he heard the stress fade from Blair's tone. For his part, the nagging headache that he'd carried since the arrest was beginning to fade; obviously, they were good for each other. "So, you're handling your senses okay?" Blair probed.

There was no reason to add to Blair's worries; Jim followed his frequent example and obfuscated like hell. "Not too bad; a few headaches is all." He couldn't claim no problems; Blair would be sure to grill Simon, Joel, and Megan when he got back, and probably Rhonda, too.

"No zones or spikes?" Blair's question was anxious, almost sharp. "Because Naomi really is better; I could head home tomorrow or the day after if you really need me."

"One little spike, and one almost-zone that Megan caught and pulled me right out of. She's still a pain in the ass to work with, and her guide abilities are only a so-so substitute for the real thing, but we manage. I'm a big boy, Chief; I'll be okay till next week. Trying to change your flight at this time of the year would be more trouble than it's worth, and probably cost you a penalty, besides. Wednesday's not that far away; it's no big deal."

"Six more days," Blair pointed out, his voice sounding dubious. "But you're right. You're going to want to kick me out and fly solo, eventually; I guess this is good practice. But you will call if you need me, right?"

"Will do, Chief," he promised. "But for now, there's a more important issue -- what do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas?"

Blair's voice became playful, and Jim could hear the broad grin. "Oh, you've decided that I deserve something more than coal?"

"Not me, Chief; Santa!"

"Ri-iiight." Blair's drawl was a pretty good imitation of his, Jim noticed. "Well, tell Santa that I've been thinking I need something to wake up the faculty meetings, like a tie with pink and purple polka-dots. That, and a briefcase full of old money -- twenties and fifties -- will do me just fine."

"Sandburg, I'm supposed to catch the criminals, not become one. The tie might be doable, though. But wouldn't you rather settle for some popcorn and beer in front of the fire?"

"Throw in a quart of Dutch chocolate Haagen-Daaz, and make it hot chocolate instead of beer, and you've got a deal."

"Can do, Chief. Just be sure you're here to share it with me. Turns out, I kind of miss having you around; you've grown on me.

"I know, I know; like a fungus," Blair said cheerfully. "But I'll be there, Jim, twelve-thirty next Wednesday, I promise."

"I'll pick you up, Sandburg. I might even ignore the code of the macho-man and give you a hug right in the airport."

"Oooh, be still my heart!" Blair teased. "Of course, you realize that I'd have to hug you back, right there in plain sight."

"Counting on it, Chief, counting on it."

They spent another ten minutes trading quips and discussing inconsequentials, then said their goodbyes. Jim reluctantly hung up the phone. He sighed as he massaged his temples, where the dull throbbing had subsided to the merest whisper -- but it was still there, and guaranteed to be back full-force tomorrow as soon as his senses encountered something objectionable.

Damn! He'd honestly thought that he was getting a handle on this sentinel thing; he'd been using his senses easily and well for the past eight or ten months. But now, given the way his senses had started to act up within three days of Sandburg's leaving, it seemed a strong possibility that he was able to manage so well only because he had regular doses of 'Sandburg-exposure'.

Jim had been smugly satisfied to be using his senses capably, even when Blair wasn't around, and confident enough to urge him to go to Naomi when her friends had called. Despite the younger man's misgivings at leaving his sentinel for the planned two weeks, Jim hadn't hesitated to drive Sandburg to the airport and see him off on his flight, with sincere wishes for Blair to stay as long as he needed.

But the longer Blair was gone, the less control Jim seemed to have over his senses. It was a struggle to get them to cooperate at a crime scene, and he'd worked grimly through more spikes than he'd ever admit to anyone. Fortunately, he got some relief when he returned to the loft each evening, where the changes and additions that Sandburg had made over the past two years had created a 'sentinel-friendly' haven. The fact that his guide's scent was still present also helped, as did the nightly phone calls.

But what the hell will I do when Sandburg finishes that damned dissertation and leaves for good? Jim wondered grimly as he prepared for bed. It wasn't all that early, and bed provided a quiet relief for his jangling senses -- especially since he'd had the inspired notion, just yesterday, to put fresh linens on Blair's bed, and wrap one of the used sheets around his own pillow. He'd slept better than any night since Blair had left, despite the lack of heartbeat in the room below his.

So he was managing -- for now -- but it made the outlook of a future without Sandburg pretty damn bleak. Kick his guide out and fly solo? Not 'no', but 'hell, no'; he wanted to wrap his arms around that sturdy body and never let go. But how could Jim admit that he needed Blair in his life, if he hoped to have any kind of a decent life at all? And, even if he did admit it, how likely was it that the other man would agree to spend the next forty-odd years tagging along and helping out a sentinel with wonky senses?

About as likely as Hell freezing over, Jim concluded bleakly as he lay his head on his pillow and breathed in the comforting scent of his guide. Maybe I should ask Santa to put Blair in my Christmas stocking. Then he'd be mine forever. Clinging to that heartening, illogical idea, he slipped into a restorative sleep and dreamed about sitting across the table from a Blair whose face was deeply wrinkled and whose curls had become silver-gray, secure in a friendship that had lasted forty years.




Monday, Dec. 21, 1998

Jim hung up the phone after the nightly long-distance visit with his guide, and smiled softly as he stared at the tree, picturing Blair's pleased surprise when he walked in the door. He hadn't put up a tree since the divorce; there didn't seem much point to it when he lived alone and always worked Christmas day to allow more time off for the men and women who had families. The past two years, Sandburg -- flexible as always -- had gone along with Jim's agenda.

But just this year, Jim had listened with amusement as Sandburg spouted a truly inspired rant on how the meaning of Christmas was severely diluted when it had become so commercialized that the decorations and sales appeared in the store aisles the week before Halloween. In typical Sandburgian fashion, the rant had segued into a discourse on the various ways Christmas was celebrated in different countries and cultures around the world. Somewhere in there, Jim had realized that Blair, an anthropologist to his very core, had probably enjoyed participating in the various traditions.

He had primed the pump by sharing a story of him and Stevie helping Sally in the kitchen as she made her special Christmas cookies, and watched Blair's eyes light up as he shared stories of his own. It seemed that his friend did indeed treasure the times that he and Naomi had been in a situation to help decorate a tree, or bake Christmas cookies, or wrap presents -- especially, perhaps, because it didn't happen every year; it had depended on whether or not Blair and Naomi were with people who even celebrated Christmas. Apparently, Blair had also learned to celebrate Chanukah in the same hit-or-miss fashion, and now simply matched his expectations to how those around him celebrated.

Just thinking about it brought a lump to Jim's throat; it felt like Blair was settling for scraps from the table instead of enjoying the full feast. Not this year, he thought, fiercely -- and not as long as Blair continued to live and work with him. A few days ago, Jim had begun his mission with as much dedication as he'd ever used in Covert Ops. He'd rented a large, well-shaped, potted Christmas tree from a local nursery, suspecting that Blair's ecological soul would approve of a living tree instead of a cut one, and decorated it with symbols of both their beliefs, secular as well as religious -- angels and stars, Santas and reindeer, as well as dreidels and six-pointed stars of David, foil-wrapped chocolate 'gelt' and tiny, iconic menorahs.

The tree-topper had stumped him for three days; Jim didn't want to make the subtle proclamation that one belief-system was more important than the other by setting a five-pointed or six-pointed star at the top, and he hadn't found a multi-pointed starburst that he found esthetically pleasing. Then, just this afternoon, he'd stopped at the herbal store, to pick up a fresh supply of Blair's favorite teas. A display table featured small -- barely hand-sized -- teddy bears, each individually adorned in hand-sewn clothing suitable for the season. Among the Santas, Mrs. Clauses, elves, reindeer, and angels were several dressed in robes that depicted Biblical figures from the Old Testament.

About to pass by with an amused smile, Jim's eye had been caught by a flash of blue the exact shade of Blair's eyes. Reaching into the center of the pack, he plucked out what could only be Joseph in his coat of many colors. Variations of blue predominated, and Jim was reminded of the vibrant vest Blair had worn that first day in his crowded, basement office. This particular bear had crinkled brown/russet plush, blue eyes, and an amused smirk -- there was no other word for it -- on its face; Jim had the uncanny feeling that he was looking at Blair's alter ego. The sale was a foregone conclusion, and he added a hefty tip for Mrs. Chavira to pass on to the bear's creator -- apparently a friend of Mrs. C's who needed the extra income. Jim was only too happy to contribute; he could just hear Blair murmuring, 'good karma' as he watched the bear being put into the shopping bag on top of the tea.

He had pulled the Blair-bear out of the bag as soon as he reached the truck, to sit on the dashboard during the drive home. Now it was nestled at the top of the tree, gaily surveying the continuing Christmas preparations. It was ridiculous to feel comforted by the little bear's presence, but somehow it seemed as if he'd brought a piece of Blair into the loft. It might -- probably would -- wear off after a time, but that didn't matter; Blair himself would be home in less than forty-eight hours.

Jim grabbed another beer and returned to the kitchen table to continue the project that Blair's nightly phone call had interrupted. He was determined to make this the best present that Blair had ever received, for Christmas, Chanukah, Solstice, birthday, or whatever. At least -- he hoped Blair would see it that way.

Jim tapped his pen on the table in thought, then bent over the page and started writing.




Wednesday, Dec. 23, 1998

Jim waited impatiently to see Blair step off the gangway leading from the plane. He'd tried dialing up his hearing to locate Blair's voice or heartbeat but, with a wince, hurriedly shut it down to a notch below 'normal'. The cacophony of planes landing and taking off, loudspeakers announcing arrivals and departures, and hundreds of people calling their 'hello's or 'goodbye's was an almost overwhelming tidal surge of input. He focused intently on the doorway, waiting for the first glimpse of his friend.

The flood of deplaning passengers had subsided to a trickle when Blair finally appeared. He looked somewhat rumpled and frazzled, but good-humored as always. But, trust Sandburg to latch onto the opposite sex -- he was carrying a dark-haired cutie of approximately four years old. A young matron, presumably the girl's mother, walked beside him, trying to soothe the fussy baby in her arms.

Jim watched as the little girl whispered something in Blair's ear, after which he laughed and tickled her tummy, which was greeted with delighted squeals of laughter. An unexpected flash of jealously surged over him -- my guide, dammit! -- which he tried to bury. 'Twas the season, and all that, and Blair wouldn't approve of such a possessive reaction. After all, someone was probably waiting to greet the little family, and would soon take over Blair's temporary job. He could hang on just a few more minutes.

"Elizabeth! Amber!" A gray-haired man and woman were hurrying toward the group. The little girl twisted in Blair's arms. "G'amma! G'ampa!" Blair transferred her to 'G'ampa's arms, did the 'polite introduction thing', patted the little girl on the head, said goodbye to the young mother, and finally -- finally! -- turned to look for Jim.

A broad smile crossed his face as soon as he saw his friend, and Jim watched the minute lines of stress and tension fade away. "JIM!" he shouted happily, hurrying across the broad expanse of carpet.

Jim didn't even try to resist. As soon as Blair was within reach, he enfolded him in a fervent hug, and reveled in the sensation of the reciprocal, heartfelt hug. "Blair," he whispered, his voice ragged, and buried his nose in the curls atop Blair's head. Surrounded by sight, sound, scent and feel of his guide, his senses instantly -- almost magically -- snapped back into focus. His headache subsided to a tickle, and the evil torture chamber became an ordinary airport lounge; loud and smelly, but nothing he couldn't handle... as long as he had this man beside him.

Embarrassed -- this wasn't the time or place for such an emotional display -- Jim loosened his hold and stepped back. "Welcome home, Chief; have a nice trip?"

Blair's eyes twinkled, laughing up into his. "Oh yeah, man, stellar!" he chuckled. "Two hours goes by so fast when you can spend it playing patty-cake."

"I'm sure her mother appreciated it; you're a good man, Chief." Jim's voice was warm and deep, completely serious.

Blair hesitated; somehow, Jim's words seemed a bit -- disproportionate. He'd expected an answering quip, but maybe Jim just wasn't up to it; Blair easily recognized the signs of pain around his friend's eyes. "Headache bad?" he asked softly.

"Not anymore," Jim assured him. "But I'll be a whole lot better once we clear this pop-stand."

Blair's chuckle was understanding. "Oh, I hear that; I've enjoyed about as much of this as I can stand, myself. Home, James, and don't spare the horses!"




Blair settled into the truck with a heartfelt sigh. "So, what's on the agenda for the rest of the day? Do you need me at the PD this afternoon?"

"Actually, Chief, I wangled a few days off; barring the return of the Sunrise Patriots, I don't need to go in till Sunday. I thought I might talk you into helping me make cookies."

Blair turned and stared at his friend. "Cookies?" His tone was distinctly doubtful. "You make cookies?"

"Sally's secret recipe -- soft pumpkin cookies with pecans. And sugar cookies, of course; I thought we could drop them off at the PD tomorrow. And whatever you want to make -- you like anything special?"

"What's got into you, man?" Blair demanded. "I mean, you're good in the kitchen -- I know a couple of professional chefs who would kill to learn the secret of your shrimp polonaise -- but cookies?" The last word was uttered with a squeak of surprise.

Jim felt a thread of irritation; how could someone so intelligent be so clueless? "Sandburg, why must you always look a gift horse in the mouth? The proper response is to say 'thank you' and go with the flow. Which would be easier to do if your mouth wasn't hanging open."

Blair closed his mouth firmly, gave Jim a searching look, then uttered a pleasant, "Thank you, Jim." Unfortunately, he spoiled it a second later by asking, "But what's the gift?"

Fair enough; Blair wasn't a mind-reader, after all. Still, it wouldn't hurt to play with him. Jim shook his head in mock sorrow. "Chief, back around Halloween, did you or did you not spend three-quarters of an hour expounding on the cultural traditions of celebrating Christmas around the world?"

Had he? "I guess so," Blair ventured, cautiously. Amazing that Jim would remember a six-week old conversation; Blair certainly couldn't recall it.

"And did you or did you not admit to liking to make Christmas cookies?"

"Well, I do," Blair admitted. "But I don't remember telling you."

"You did," Jim assured him. "So I thought..." His voice trailed off as he stared at the road ahead. Blair was almost sure that he saw a hint of blush suffuse Jim's cheeks.

Blair was amused; what could be so terrible about baking cookies? "Thought what?"

"I wanted to..." Jim cleared his throat, "makeaniceChristmasforyou. So I thought we could make cookies. So what kind do you want to make?"

"Wow!" Blair blinked, feeling slightly adrift. Not that Jim couldn't be thoughtful and empathic, sometimes, but this was just... it didn't exactly feel like the Jim he knew and loved. On the other hand, how could he complain about a 'kinder, gentler' Jim? And wasn't he supposed to be the king of 'go with the flow'? So he needed to get with the program and just 'go', already.

Blair gave himself a mental shake. "That's... that really is special, man. Thank you. Okay... Gingerbread cookies! Do we have any molasses at home?"

"No, but we'll swing by Mercer's Market on the way."




Jim carried the grocery sacks -- which contained not only the jars of molasses, but extra supplies of flour, sugar, eggs and milk -- as a thinly-veiled reason for Sandburg to use his key to unlock the door, and enter first. Jim held back just enough not to interfere with Blair's first view of the transformed loft.

The reaction was everything he could have hoped for. Blair took two steps inside the door and stopped short. His backpack slipped unheeded from his shoulder and his suitcase hit the floor as he stared around the room. "Whoa!" he breathed. "Is it my imagination, or did Christmas kind of explode in here?" He moved slowly forward, taking in the decorated tree in front of the balcony windows, the garlands twined around the railings of the upper loft, the potted poinsettias in the middle of the dining table and on the coffee table, the gold and silver bells tied onto more garlands and looped gracefully across the upper tier of the balcony doors, and the carved wooden elves lounging atop the stereo speakers and peeking out from around the books and knickknacks on the shelves along the wall. It should've been too much, Blair thought absently as he surveyed each carefully-placed item, but -- somehow -- it all meshed into a charming 'whole'.

Jim grinned as he closed the door behind him and carried the groceries into the kitchen. "I thought you might get a kick out of it," he said, his voice conveying a mixture of pride and smugness. "Maybe I should have waited for you to help, but time was getting so short and..." he hid inside the refrigerator as he put away the eggs and milk, but kept his voice loud enough for Blair to hear, "...I wanted to surprise you. But we can make it a team effort next year."

'Next year'? Blair felt more at 'home' here than he'd ever felt in his life, and he certainly didn't want to leave. But he'd watched Jim's growing ease and competence in using his senses, and concluded it was just a matter of time until Jim decided he no longer needed Blair's help and told him -- politely, of course -- 'thanks, so long, and see you around'. Was this just a slip of the tongue, or was Jim actually anticipating that Blair would still be around 'next year'?

"Yeah, man, sounds like a plan," he murmured absently as he examined the tree more closely, noting all the six-pointed and five-pointed stars placed side-by-side. And where had the man found tree ornaments shaped like dreidels and menorahs? "But it's not like you needed my help," he said more strongly; "the tree looks great. In fact..." he stood back and considered the tree as he would a museum painting, noting the balance and cohesiveness. "I wonder if sentinels might also have an enhanced artistic sense. Or maybe it's the other way around -- people with enhanced perceptions of color, space and balance become artists."

"Or maybe it's just your friend's anal personality," Jim pointed out. "Believe me, Chief, I was just as particular before my senses ever came online."

"But you had them, even though they were hidden from your conscious mind," Blair argued.

Whoops! Wrong time for this; he could swear he felt Jim's attitude growing cooler, withdrawing. "But you know," he continued earnestly, "'tis the season, and all that. You've given me this great, unwrapped Christmas present, so now I'll give you one. No senses testing until after..." he did some rapid calculations, "January sixth; that's two full weeks. I won't even mention 'senses' unless you have a problem with them and need a bit of help." He grinned as he spread his arms and proclaimed grandly, "Merry Christmas, Jim!"

Jim's relaxation was palpable, even from across the room. "Thanks, Chief; I really appreciate it," he said, solemnly. Then, with a quick shift of mood, he continued, "And I'll see your 'Merry Christmas' and raise you a 'Happy Chanukah'. That table is for you."

"Huh?" Blair finally paid attention to the small, narrow table placed opposite the tree, in front of the other end of the balcony doors. It was draped with a white-on-white embroidered runner, and had a simple circle of pine boughs in the middle. "That? I thought maybe you planned to put party refreshments there, or something."

Jim was very busy pulling mixing bowls and cookie sheets out of the cupboards; it was easier to say sappy stuff if he wasn't looking at Blair. He meant every word, but it just wasn't easy to say. "I know you haven't, the past two years... but I thought you might have a Menorah to put there. If you want to," he finished hurriedly.

"You wouldn't mind?" Blair walked into the kitchen and planted himself in front of Jim, searching his eyes for the truth. Jim didn't try to avoid it, and smiled gently at his friend.

"Blair, if I minded, I wouldn't have offered. This is your home, too, for as long as you want to stay."

"Aw, man..." Blair wrapped his arms around Jim in a fierce hug, and felt it reciprocated. "You're the best! Thank you; that means so much." He stepped back, blinking the moisture from his eyes. "But Chanukah actually ended on Monday; Naomi and I lit the Menorah at Sequoia and Honeybee's place. But I really, really appreciate the offer. Next year, huh?"

"Next year," Jim agreed. "Now, what d'ya say we make some cookies? Toss your stuff in your room and let's get crackin'."

"Sounds like a plan." Blair hurried to scoop up his abandoned suitcase and backpack and carried them toward his room. As he approached the closed doors, he slowed. A banner hung across the doorframe.

WELCOME HOME, CHIEF.
I missed you.

Plain and unadorned, like Jim himself, but the sentiment settled in Blair's soul like a warm coat. He'd known Jim appreciated his help with the senses -- when he wasn't complaining about having to deal with them at all -- but Blair had long since realized that Jim very seldom said anything; he just expected Blair to know how he felt. And Blair did... but this unexpected acknowledgement was sweet indeed. "Aw, Jim," he all but whispered, knowing it was loud enough for his friend to hear, "the feeling is entirely mutual."

He ducked under the banner -- Jim had placed it high enough, and he wanted to savor it for awhile -- tossed his bags on the bed, and rejoined Jim in the kitchen. He rolled up his sleeves, donned an apron, washed his hands and was soon working beside his friend with almost choreographed movements. We really do work well together, he realized, as he measured the sugar and flour and watched Jim beat it with the butter, eggs, and pumpkin. Wonder how many years it would take to get bored with this?

He pondered that question as he placed spoonfuls of batter on the cookie sheet and pressed a pecan half neatly into the center of each. He'd spent over half his life traveling; it was as normal for him as mowing the lawn was for a typical suburbanite. Any time Naomi had been six months in one place, she'd found another goal for 'enlightenment', another star to follow, and headed for another rainbow -- usually with Blair in tow. Even when Blair had settled at Rainier, he'd spent most Christmas breaks on mini-expeditions, and headed out to something more substantial every summer.

But not lately; not since he'd met Jim. He realized now that he'd been half-expecting to feel the old wanderlust, vaguely hoping that it wouldn't hit until Jim no longer needed his help with the senses. Something had changed; he'd have to meditate to be sure, but it seemed like the wanderlust wasn't merely deferred. He was pretty sure it was completely defunct -- and it was all because of one James Joseph Ellison.

Fifty years, he decided, watching as Jim deftly slid the cookie sheets into the oven. I could see a friendship lasting fifty years with this man -- and how the hell did that happen? It's not like I've had any practice putting down roots.


But would Jim want him around for fifty years? Somehow, Blair doubted it, despite his friend's new, relaxed attitude... and 'detaching with love' would be damned difficult when Jim gave him his walking papers, whether it happened in one year or five. If he was smart, he'd start trying to distance himself, disentangle his heart so it wouldn't hurt so much when he had to leave.

Not gonna happen, Blair decided; he'd hang on to this friendship as long as he could, and store the memories for his later years.

Satisfied with his conclusions, Blair turned to measure the molasses for the gingerbread. He felt a vast sense of contentment to be making cookies with his best friend, simply because that friend had wanted to give him pleasure. He sniffed the delightful aroma of the pumpkin cookies in the oven, watched Jim as he used the whisk to beat the eggs into a fine froth, and smiled happily; life didn't get any better than this.




After twelve dozen cookies, four loaves of pumpkin bread, four loaves of banana nut bread, two pecan pies, two apple pies, and two pumpkin pies, the vote was unanimous -- no more time in the kitchen. Jim called in an order for pizza, with a side of garlic cheese sticks. They ate while watching one of the playoff games, then finished their meal with a selection of the cookies and pie.

By the middle of the fourth quarter, Blair was fading fast; he'd been up early to catch the plane, then had an eventful flight keeping his little seat-companion happily occupied, followed by a full afternoon with Jim. After the third jaw-cracking yawn, he muttered, "Sorry, Jim. It's not the company, it's just been a long day. Think I'll hit the sheets as soon as the game is finished."

"Sounds like a plan, Chief," Jim agreed easily. "But I've got another surprise for you tomorrow; you might want to hit the showers first, so you're ready to go in the morning."

"Oh, yeah? Go where?"

"Sandburg, what part of 'surprise' don't you understand? That information is on a 'need to know' basis, and until we get there, you don't need to know."

A broad wink signified that Jim was teasing, like I couldn't have figured that out for myself, Blair chuckled internally. But it was wonderful to see Jim having so much fun in making Christmas for his friend; Blair could see vestiges of the happy little boy he must once have been.

He played along; this lighthearted attitude was too precious to shoot down. "Does that mean I'm gonna be blindfolded as we get close to... wherever you have planned?"

"I hadn't thought of it... but I might consider a gag, if necessary." Jim gave Blair a playful shove. "Game's over. Go. Shower."

"And how much are you going to complain when I use all the hot water?"

"I'm feeling generous. No complaints; I'll just suffer in silence through my usual cold shower."

"Or you could wait fifteen minutes for the water heater to recharge."

Jim affected a look of astonishment. "Why did I never think of that? Thanks, Chief. At least now we know all that college education hasn't been wasted."

Blair allowed his chuckle to escape. "Man, you are so full of it. But this doesn't get me any closer to that nice, soft pillow; I'm going, I'm going!"

He ambled into his room to collect clean underwear and the old thermal shirt that was his winter sleepwear, then carried them to the bathroom, hanging them on the hook behind the door. Stripping, he tossed everything into the laundry hamper, then pulled back the shower curtain -- to be faced with an envelope hanging from the showerhead by a length of sewing thread, with 'BLAIR' written across the front in big, block letters.

Bemused, he broke the thread and opened the envelope. The front of the card showed a goofy-looking puppy with madly-wagging tail, and the caption, 'You make me so very happy'. Inside, the blank space had been filled by a hand-written note.
Blair, when I took a shower last night, I looked at the bar of soap in my hand -- hypo-allergenic, unscented, all-natural ingredients -- and I had a flashback to the week before you moved in here. My skin itched so much I couldn't sleep, could barely concentrate on my work, and I had rashes in places I don't even want to mention. You changed that, with a little intuition, empathy, and common sense. I know you'd say it's no big deal -- but I didn't think of changing my soap... or all the other personal and cleaning products in the house.

You've made an enormous difference in my life, as guide to a sentinel, but even more as friend to a man. I appreciate it more than I can say. I know I don't say it often enough -- okay, ever -- but I'm grateful every damn day that you're a part of my life. Thanks for being here, Chief. Thanks for being you.
The signature was a little smiley-face.

Blair stood for several minutes, rereading the message three times. Wow. Just... wow.

He ran his fingers across the words, as if they would become more real. He knew how reluctant Jim was to put his emotions into words. Blair could picture him, bent over the kitchen table, scowling at the paper as he tried to express his inner being. The fact that he'd go to so much trouble for this gift -- and Blair never doubted that it was a gift, one that was almost beyond price -- was exhilarating. And humbling. And deeply, deeply satisfying.

As he climbed into the shower, he murmured, "Thanks, Jim. And... you're welcome."

Out in the living room, Jim smiled with satisfaction, put his feet up on the coffee table, and changed the channel to the late news.




Thursday, Dec. 24, 1998

The delectable smell of bacon, eggs, fresh cinnamon rolls and coffee encouraged Blair out of his cozy nest to greet the day. He tied his robe, raked back his hair and, yawning, headed for the coffeepot.

"Morning, Chief!"

In Blair's pre-coffee opinion, Jim's voice was entirely too chipper. "If you say so. What time is it?"

"Eight-fifteen. Since it's a whole hour later than you get up when you have to go to school, I think that's enough sleeping in. Your 'surprise' is a bit -- I guess the best description is 'involved' -- and we really should be on the road by nine or so." Jim scooped the bacon and scrambled eggs onto two plates and placed them on the table. "Eat up!"

Blair reached for one of the crispy strips of bacon, slid it forward to pick up a lump of eggs, and bit off the end. It was every bit as good as it smelled, but -- "You do realize this is cholesterol city, don't you?" He took another bite, savoring the combination of salt and sweet.

"It's also sustained energy and internal warmth. Eat the cinnamon roll, too."

"What, you're planning on dog-sledding?" Blair deliberately looked out the balcony windows. "That'll be a little difficult, seeing as there's no snow."

"But it'll freeze tonight," Jim declared with certainty, "which falls right in with my plans. And quit fishing; you'll know when we get there." His smirk was decidedly devilish.

"Okay. But if I turn into a popsicle, you'll have to thaw me out."

"Actually, that's part of the plan. So finish eating and go get dressed -- several warm layers, plus boots, gloves, and that ridiculous Fargo hat." Jim rose to top off their coffee, then pulled a large thermos from the cupboard. He filled it with hot water and let it set for a few minutes, then dumped the water and poured the coffee into the thermos, capping it tightly.

Blair watched his partner making careful preparations. He wasn't sure he wanted to participate in anything that required extra layers of clothing. But Jim was having so much fun... and Blair knew that, if he truly didn't enjoy his 'surprise', Jim would cut it short and bring him home. He swallowed the last of his coffee and stood.

"Y'know, I'm beginning to understand why Naomi usually managed to be someplace warm during the winter months; you don't need half the amount of clothing. And may I ask what those are for?"

Jim was placing four of the cinnamon rolls in a plastic baggie. "Eating, of course. Hot coffee and cinnamon rolls go good together; we'll appreciate the snack, even if we don't need the energy. And why aren't you getting dressed?"

"I'm going, I'm going!" Blair watched Jim begin washing the dishes. "But consider this -- you've cooked breakfast, told me what to wear, and now you send me off to get dressed while you do the dishes. Have it ever occurred to you that you'd make some kid a great -- mother?" He snickered and ducked the threatened wet dishrag, then hightailed it to his room.




Jim headed east, toward the mountains; within forty-five minutes, they had reached an elevation where snow appeared by the side of the road. "Skiing?" Blair asked. "Gotta tell you, I've always thought it looked like fun, but I'm a complete novice -- never even tried it once."

Jim glanced at his friend. "That's too bad, Chief; it is a lot of fun. Maybe we can come up after New Year's and I'll give you some lessons. But no skiing today."

"Okay." Blair subsided, watching as Jim guided the truck higher, and the snow beside the road became deeper. Eventually they turned onto a smaller, less-traveled side road. When they reached a 'scenic outlook', Jim pulled into the parking area. "Wait here, Chief; I need to put on the chains."

He was efficient; in less than five minute they were moving again. Ten minutes later, Jim turned onto a narrow track that showed no signs of recent travel. "Good; I hoped no one had been up here lately."

"You sure we won't get stuck, even with the chains?" Blair didn't look forward to having to get out and push.

"No problem; it's not that deep here under the trees," Jim assured him.

The track continued to wind upward. Thirty minutes later it ended at a large clearing, covered by a pristine expanse of snow. Jim drove straight into the middle and shut off the engine.

Blair looked around. It was beautiful. The white snow blanketed the earth, and lay gently on the evergreen trees with the blue sky arching overhead; they'd left the cloudy gloom back in Cascade. But what kind of surprise was Jim expecting to produce? "Where are we?" he asked.

"This is the parking lot for a really great fishing spot... but you have to hike about two miles that way to get there," Jim explained, gesturing vaguely forward. "I really can't see anyone wanting to do that in this weather, and I was right; no visitors have been through, so we have perfect snow."

Blair looked again; there didn't seem to be anything special about the area, or the snow. "Perfect for what?"

"Making a snowman."

"Making a snowman?"

"Making a snowman."

"And we'll be making a snowman because...?"

"Because you said you had such a great time doing it with what's-his-name when you were eight, and I wanted to give you that again."

"Billy Thompson," Blair said absently. "So we're going to make a snowman and leave it out here in the middle of nowhere?"

"Well, we could. But I think it would be more fun to take it down and put it right beside the main door at home, don't you?"

Blair wasn't following Jim at all. "How?"

"Here's how I see it. We fill the truck-bed about one-third full of snow. Then we roll up a snowman bottom, torso, and head, and put them in the truck; the snow will cushion the ride so they won't fall apart. Then shovel more snow around them, and cover it all with the tarp so it won't blow out on the way home. When we get there, we make a base of the loose snow on the sidewalk -- against the building so it'll be out of the way -- and assemble the snowman there. And Prospect Avenue will have its own genuine, hand-built snowman."

Blair's excited enthusiasm was everything Jim had hoped for. "Man, that's a great idea! Weird -- whoever heard of driving seventy miles to make a snowman? -- but great! I'm kind of surprised you thought of it -- weird is supposed to be my gig -- but I am so down with that. Let's get crackin'." He buttoned the coat he had loosened in the warmth of the truck, tied his Fargo hat tightly, pulled on his gloves and hopped out, heading toward the truck-bed. "I suppose you brought shovels?"

Jim joined him, and threw back the tarp. "Sandburg, I've planned much harder missions than this. One for you and one for me." He handed both snow-shovels to Blair, and pulled the tarp off the truck, setting it to one side. "The easiest thing to do is to start right here by the truck and shovel in the snow. As we work farther away, we'll have a clear path to carry it back to the truck. Just don't scoop too deep; we don't want any of the gravel from the ground."

"Aye, aye, sir!" Blair chuckled, giving Jim a sloppy salute. Sometimes his friend's tendency to micro-manage everything could be irritating. Other times, like now, it was just -- cute. Not that I'll ever tell him that! He bent over his shovel and started scooping.

It took very little time to fill the truck-bed one-third full of snow. Jim propped his shovel against the side of the truck and rubbed his hands in anticipation. "Now the fun part, Chief. You make the head, I make the middle, and we work together on the base?"

"Sounds like a plan," Blair agreed, heading farther away from the truck, toward an untouched swath of snow. He scooped up a double handful and shaped it into a ball, patting it firmly to form the core of the snowman's head. Jim was working a short distance away, shaping a similar snowball. Blair paused, eyeing his friend's broad back.

"Don't even think it, Sandburg," Jim said. "Remember, I'm armed, too."

"Yeah, yeah; spoilsport!" But he dropped the snowball into the snow, and started it on a rolling path to gather more. He continued to pat it firmly as he went; he wanted a solid, tightly-packed globe that wouldn't fall apart on the trip home.

When he had what he thought was a good-sized head -- about eighteen inches in diameter -- he turned to see how Jim was progressing with the torso.

Jim noticed Blair straighten from his crouch, and angled his snowball toward Blair's. He stopped a few feet away, and also straightened. "What do you think about the relative sizes, Chief?"

Blair compared them visually, then decided, "Yours needs another layer or two," and bent to help Jim roll the larger ball on one more collection-circuit. The finished torso was about a foot wider than the head.

"Looks good," Jim decided. "Ready for the last one, Chief?"

"Yeah, but..." Blair regarded the torso-ball dubiously. "If we make the base proportionate to those two, it'll stick above the walls of the truck-bed. With the tarp beating on it, it'll get kind of flattened by the time we get home, don't you think?"

Jim shrugged. "I don't see that it'll hurt anything; a flattened side will just make a more stable support when we put the snowman together." He bent and started the third ball. As soon as it grew big enough, Blair joined him in the pushing, rolling, and patting. Jim kept an eye on the terrain, guiding the path so that, by the time the ball had grown to the correct size, it was very close to the other two. With matching groans of relief, both men straightened.

"Well, we can't carry them -- or at least, not the torso and base," Blair pointed out. "You gonna bring the truck over here?"

"I rather thought we would bring the truck over here. But first, there's cinnamon rolls and hot coffee calling our names, don't you think?"

"Man, you have the best ideas! Let's go."

Side-by-side they hiked the short distance back to the truck; the growing snowman-pieces had taken them farther than Blair thought. And, now that he wasn't physically active, he could feel the cold creeping in through all his layers; the hot coffee would warm him nicely.




After the break, they made short work of getting the snowman pieces into the truck-bed. Still following Jim's plan, they shoveled more snow around the round lumps, filling the truck-bed almost to the top of the sidewalls. It made sense, Blair decided; the extra snow would keep the round balls -- boulders, really -- from rolling and maybe breaking apart.

As Jim tied down the tarp that would protect everything on the trip home, Blair was planning ahead, seeing the put-together snowman standing in front of their home. But something was missing from the picture...

"Hey, Jim? I just realized; we're not finished."

"Of course not; it won't be until we assemble it back in Cascade."

"That's not it. A snowman is more than three big balls of snow; we need something for arms, and eyes and mouth, and buttons down the front. We don't have anything at home, except the carrot for the nose." He waved at the expanse of trees that encroached on one side of the clearing. "I'll bet we could find something in there -- especially if you use your senses for the search."

Jim chuckled. "I always knew you were a kid at heart, Sandburg -- or do you just want to win the snowman-judging contest?" He draped his arm around Blair's shoulders and started walking with him toward the trees. "It's a good idea, though, so lead on, MacDuff!"

As they walked through the beautiful, silent landscape, Jim didn't bother to remove his arm from Blair's shoulders. For his part, Blair reciprocated by slipping his arm around Jim's waist as he enjoyed this all-too-rare closeness; he hoped at least some of it would last past the Christmas season.

Once under the trees, Jim became the hunter, releasing Blair as he stalked forward on the trail of elusive pinecones and wily tree-branches. Blair also kept an eye out as he followed his sentinel, even though the likelihood of spotting something before Jim did was ridiculously small.

Jim's skills were as accurate as Blair had expected; in short order, they had collected almost three dozen pinecones in several shapes and sizes, and two branches from a fallen aspen. They broke the sticks to an even size, leaving the finger-like twigs at the end intact, and piled the pinecones into Blair's Fargo hat.

Blair had dropped a few steps behind so that Jim, with the snowman 'arms' over one shoulder and a few evergreen boughs under one arm, could maneuver through the forest growth. He eyed that enticing broad back and ran some calculations. His chances of winning were extremely slight, but the target was just too tempting.

He set his pinecone-filled hat behind the nearest tree, then stooped to form a snowball. But he'd seen his share of old-fashioned Westerns; he knew that only a lily-livered, cowardly dog attacked from behind. "Hey, Jim!" he called.

"Yeah, Chief?" As expected, Jim half turned to answer... to be met by Blair's snowball to the chest.

Trained warrior reflexes kicked in; Jim dropped his encumbrances and leaped into battle. "You are so going to get it, Sandburg!" he shouted, lobbing his own snowball toward the enemy.

With no lack of ammunition, and plenty of shielding tree-trunks, the fight ranged far a-field. Each man gave as good as he got, pitching snowballs, dodging return fire, ducking behind tree-trunks, and darting out to toss another snowball. Laughter danced through the air as they shouted threats and counter-threats, occasionally falling back on the old standby of, "Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah!"

Jim was getting too close; Blair turned to execute a strategic retreat and tripped over a root hidden in the snow.

"Got'cha!" Jim pounced on Blair's prone figure, expecting a swift end to the battle -- he had the actual combat training, after all -- but Blair demonstrated an unexpected command of wrestling skills. They rolled over and over in the snow until they ran into a tree-trunk, stopping their momentum. Blair struggled but, caught by a tree on one side and with Jim's weight pressing him into the snow, he couldn't escape; graceful surrender seemed his only option. "Uncle!" he gasped, letting his head fall back into the snow and laughing up into the face above him. "You win!"

"It was a foregone conclusion, Sandburg," Jim growled in his most threatening tones. He leaned closer, his breath puffing into Blair's face. "Remember that the next time; youth and sneakiness will always lose against age and experience."

"Well, you have the age anyway," Blair said easily.

Jim leaned even closer. "Those who doubt the experience may be doomed to have it demonstrated first-hand."

Blair just grinned. "Oh, yeah, I'm shaking in my boots, here. Do your worst, big guy; I can handle it." But his brave words lost their impact as he shivered; damn, it was cold, lying in the snow.

Jim felt it, of course. He quickly rose, and extended a hand to help Blair up. "Enough, Chief. We need to get going if we're going to get the snowman built before dark."

"Right. I think you're just trying to save face, don't want to admit that the lowly anthropologist held his own against the big, tough ranger."

"Dream on, Chief. It just doesn't seem kosher to freeze my best friend before we even get his snowman built."

Backtracking to recover the pinecones and dropped branches wasn't difficult; as Blair pointed out, "If all trails were like this, no one would need to develop tracking skills." Ten minutes later they had their 'snowman accessories' stashed behind the seats and were heading back down the mountain, with the heat turned high. They both appreciated the chance to warm up before another round of playing in the snow.




Enjoying the warmth, and the silent companionship of his best friend, Blair watched the snow-covered trees pass by without comment. Maybe he zoned a little; the next thing he knew, they were pulling into a parking lot in front of a long, low log building. The sign over the door read, 'Aspen Chalet'.

"What's this?" he asked. "And it's the wrong shape for a chalet."

"Don't be picky, Sandburg; it isn't the outside that counts, but what's inside."

"And inside we'll find...?"

"Lunch. They do mostly sandwiches, but they use real meat and vegetables, not the processed stuff, and they make the best damn hot German potato salad you'll ever taste. It wouldn't be much of a present if I let you faint from hunger before we finish making the snowman."

Blair hid his grin as he followed Jim into the restaurant. Mush; the man was pure mush beneath his frequently-gruff exterior, and Blair loved him for it.




This lunch would go into his stored memories as one of the best meals he'd ever shared with Jim, Blair decided. The food was hearty and delicious, and the room was quiet, with very few diners on this day before Christmas. And Jim... was there, actually engaging in conversation instead of just spouting macho bull about the Jags' latest game.

Not that they didn't discuss sports, but it didn't stop there. The conversation ranged seemingly across the world, from Jim's work to Blair's work, from exotic places Jim had visited to even more exotic places Blair had visited, from the vagaries of students to the quirks of cops. Under their outward differences, it was amazing how similar they were deep down, Blair decided. Or... not similar, exactly... but definitely simpatico. Their different lives had led them both to a deep respect for other peoples and cultures, and a basic acceptance of the oddities of humanity.

Not for the first time, Blair reflected how lucky he was. He'd gone searching for a sentinel, anticipating finding nothing more than some guy who was a walking collection of hyperactive senses. Instead he'd found a remarkable man, sometimes flawed, but with an extraordinary dedication to doing the best he could to make the world a better place. That such a man counted him as 'friend' was a treasure beyond price.




Jim pulled up across the street to allow Blair a good overview of the area. "Okay, Chief, it's your snowman; where do you want to put him?"

"There," Blair decided, pointing to a spot about fifteen feet to the left of the main doors of the bakery on the ground floor. "If we put it against the wall, it'll be out of the way of the pedestrian traffic, and it's halfway between the streetlamps, so it'll be sort of lit up all night. And it won't get much sun, there; it might stay frozen for a few extra days."

"Sounds good," Jim said as he maneuvered the truck to the right angle to back into a parking space close to the selected area. Working together, they soon had the tarp untied and pushed back, and were carrying shovels of snow to form a snow-platform; Blair was convinced that that would also help retard the melting.

The solidly-formed snowman parts had made the trip without crumpling or breaking apart. It took only a few minutes for Jim and Blair to assemble them properly, and just a little longer to use the leftover snow in the truck-bed for packing into the joins, to 'cement' everything together.

Then came the fun part. Blair examined his selection of pinecones, deciding how best to use them. Two of a medium size became the eyes, after he had cut off the top halves and pushed them into the head bottom-out. The tightly-whorled, barely-open scales of that part of the pinecones gave the snowman a wide-eyed, eager look, especially when combined with the broad smile underneath, formed of small round pinecones, each slightly larger than a grape.

Blair sent Jim upstairs for a carrot -- "No, we can't use a pinecone; carrot noses are traditional. But break one in half; we don't want the nose to overpower the rest of the face." -- while he pressed the slender, elongated pinecones down the snowman's torso. Stepping back to evaluate the effect, he decided that they really did look like fancy, high-class button-covers.

"Here you go, Chief," Jim said, handing over the carrot. "And I thought you might like these, for eyebrows." He held out two other carrot pieces, about two inches long, that had been sliced in half lengthwise.

"Perfect! Thanks, man." He placed nose and eyebrows with due care, and stepped back again to admire the result. "That is one fine-looking snowman."

"Absolutely; best one on Prospect Avenue." Jim grinned to see his friend so involved in his creative endeavor. "Just needs the arms, now. How do you want them -- angled up, or down, or one of each?"

"Hmmm... can you hold one angled forward, about forty-five degrees?" Jim complied, patiently following directions to shift the sample arm up, down, forward or backward. "That's it! We need to break about two feet off the end of each, then put them at a little upward angle and about halfway forward.

"Now he looks ready to hug the whole world," Blair said when the arms were in place, satisfaction coloring his tone. "Forget Prospect Avenue; I bet we have the best snowman in the whole city!"

"Not quite. We can't have a naked snowman standing around; he might get hauled in for indecent exposure." Jim slowly pulled a tie out of his pocket. "I thought you might like to put this around his neck."

Blair started laughing. "My god, it's perfect! But where did you get it?"

Jim grinned as he looped the tie -- garish yellow-green with rainbow-colored dolphins leaping on it -- around the snowman's neck. "It was a joke-gift from a surfing party a long time ago; I just never got around to tossing it. I thought it might give your snowman a certain... élan." He completed a neat four-in-hand knot.

"Well, we could call it that, though I'm not sure anyone else would agree. But who cares?" Blair stepped forward to slap Jim a high-five. "I know I said it already, but this was a great idea; you the man!"

Jim returned the high-five, then kept Blair's hand clasped within his own as he smiled gently. "It takes one to know one, Chief; you're 'the man' in my book." He saw -- and felt -- a minute shiver pass through Blair. "But I think 'the man' is getting cold. Seems like I promised you some popcorn and hot chocolate last week; tonight would be a good time to make good on it. Ready to go up?"

"That's what I really like about you, Jim; you come up with the best ideas. This combination of snowman-building and recovery from snowman-building should rank right up in the top ten."

"Oh, yeah?" Jim asked, ushering Blair through the door and across the lobby. "So what else do you think is in the top ten?"

"Well, actually, that's not as easy as you'd think," Blair admitted cheerfully. "It varies with recent events -- like cookie-making yesterday. But in general..." He paused, thinking while the elevator carried them upward. "Well, in general, any time you suggest a weekend fishing trip ranks right up there. And any time you decide to make your shrimp polonaise is a stellar idea. But simpler things, too, like when you suggest take-out pizza and cold beer after a hard day, or a round of pick-up basketball with just the two of us.

"Of course, there's the other end of the spectrum -- the ideas I could live without, like your inclination not to share the TV remote control, or weekly cleaning twice a week. But on balance, the good ideas are way more plentiful than the bad ones."

"Wow, Sandburg, you overwhelm me with praise," Jim said dryly, hanging his coat on the hooks beside the door and stepping out of his boots.

Blair chortled, shedding his own coat and boots. "And one of your good qualities is that you speak plainly. Just following your lead, man -- and being patient till we get to the popcorn and hot chocolate."

"And Haagen-Daaz chocolate ice cream," Jim reminded him as he walked into the kitchen and pulled open the freezer. "I didn't forget. But while you're exercising your patience, how about spaghetti and garlic bread for supper? We have a couple pints of sauce in here, and ground turkey for the meatballs."

"Add another one to the top ten!" Blair exclaimed, joining him in the kitchen. "Man, you're really batting a thousand." He gave Jim a friendly elbow-jab then, working in their customary harmony, they continued their supper preparations.




Great day -- no, two days! Blair mused, as he dried himself after his shower and slipped into his thermal undershirt and fresh boxers. Good thing I'm not sick, or I'd think Jim was representing the Make-a-Wish foundation. He snorted softly to himself. Of course, he'd have to be psychic to come up with everything he's done, since even I didn't know I was wishing for this stuff. On the other hand, he is a sentinel; maybe he's got enhancements he hasn't told me about.

He wore a contented smile as he carefully hung up his wet towels and pulled the loose hair from the drain, wrapping it neatly in toilet paper and tossing it in the trash; Jim deserved some kind of tangible 'thank you' for the incredible, open-hearted generosity he'd been demonstrating. On the other hand, I've always known he was pretty much a gooey marshmallow inside, Blair pondered as he tied the belt of his robe and stepped out into the hall. I just never expected him to be so obvious about it.

He stopped for a second at the doors to his room, lifting a hand casually. "It's all yours, man; I even left you some hot water. See you in the morning."

"Thanks, Chief; goodnight," Jim said absently. Blair grinned; if Jim was at the 'unmasking the killer' part of his current book, he'd finish that chapter before he put it down -- and then think up arguments for and against while he showered. Sometimes it still surprised him that a detective actually liked to read mystery novels.

He tossed his robe on the foot of the bed and pulled down the blankets without bothering to turn on the lights. But, when he laid his head on the pillow, his cheek hit something stiff, and it -- crinkled. Huh? Sitting up, Blair turned on the bedside lamp and discovered an envelope on his pillow.

Fingers trembling slightly -- Jim, this is, like... unreal! -- he pulled out a card that showed a picture of a vibrant rainbow waving proudly above snow-capped mountains. Blair stared at it for a few moments; this was like... well, he wasn't sure what it was like, but it sure didn't feel like the Jim he knew. Finally, carefully, he opened it to see what Jim had written.
Blair -- I told you that I appreciate your friendship and your 'guide'-ship. What I didn't tell you is that you've permeated my entire life... and I like it. Your voice is an anchor when my senses are kicking up a storm. When you walk into a room, you bring a vibrant energy that fills up the whole place which, somehow, smoothes out all the rough edges of the sensory input. You don't even have to do anything; just having you within eyesight or hearing range -- or even the scent imprint that you've left behind when you put your coffee cup on my desk before you go haring off to enlighten someone about your latest interest -- is enough to keep my senses stable. Hearing your heartbeat in the room below me is the lullaby that allows me to fall asleep peacefully -- I had a hell of a time sleeping while you were gone -- and hearing that same heartbeat when I wake in the morning immediately orients me for the day.

You could be right -- maybe one day I won't need you to keep my senses stable, and I'll be ready to fly solo... but I suspect it will take a few more years. At least.

God knows you have your own life to live. I'm just saying, you don't have to move out as soon as you have enough information for your dissertation, or even when the dissertation is finished. I wouldn't mind sharing the loft with a PhD -- it might even give the joint a little class, huh? This is an official invitation -- you can stay as long as you want, as long as it's what you want.

And now I'm getting real close to being mushy; I do have my standards to uphold.  
:-)   So I'll just say, welcome back, buddy. Listening to your heartbeat, I'll sleep well tonight; I hope you do, too.
This time, it was signed with a simple, 'Jim'.

Almost dazed, Blair rose and stepped to the door but, when he opened it, he heard the shower running. Even Jim wouldn't hear him through that natural white noise, unless he shouted. Deliberate? Maybe, maybe not, and absolutely no way to know.

Slowly, Blair closed the door, turned out the light, laid down and pulled the covers up. He lay, staring into the darkness, thinking. The idea of this kind of connection was -- again -- overwhelming. And scary. And downright cool.

But -- could he really do it? It was fine to decide 'fifty years' when it was only a fantasy, but he had no experience with long-term friendships in close quarters. The occasional postcard from a distant expedition, sure. A drink every two years when an old friend passed through, no problem. But... some kind of permanent relationship? Did he really have it in him? What about if one of them -- or both of them -- got married?

But surely tribal sentinels and guides must've lived like that -- always close, even if they had wives and children. The male friendship bonds are even stronger, and more common, than in 'civilization'. It's been done. Question is, can I do it?

When Blair heard the bathroom door open, he whispered, "Thanks, Jim." There was no answer, and the thinking continued for a long time before sleep claimed him.




Friday, Dec. 25, 1998

Again, Jim was midway through breakfast preparations when Blair woke; he smelled sausage and coffee, and heard the sound of the beater as Jim mixed batter for pancakes or waffles. Shelving last night's perplexing questions, he tossed aside the blankets and reached for his robe.

"Just in time, Chief!" Jim called from the kitchen. "I'm ready to put the pancakes on the griddle right now; shake a leg!"

"Nag, nag, nag," Blair teased, heading toward the bathroom. "If you're not careful, I'll just keep your present and get my money back." Closing the bathroom door only muffled Jim's hearty chuckle.

Interesting how Jim can time breakfast to just when I wake up, Blair mused, washing his hands. Wonder if he can sense a change in my body temperature or heartbeat or something. I'll have to ask... after the two-week moratorium is up. He snickered softly to himself, remembering his promise.

"'Morning, Jim; merry Christmas," Blair said as he crossed toward the coffeepot. He filled two mugs and carried them toward the table.

"Right back at'cha, Chief. How does blueberry pancakes and sausage sound?" Jim asked rhetorically; he'd already put a plate in front of Blair and was sitting down with his own.

"Pretty close to heaven," Blair said, reaching for the blueberry jam he liked to spread on top; in his opinion, blueberry pancakes should be really blueberry. As he picked up the knife beside his plate, he noticed an edge of paper all-but-hidden under his napkin. Pulling it out, he read:

One of the perks of having you in my life is sharing meals.
When you're sitting across the table, my day starts out right.


Jaw dropping, Blair read it again. Somehow, the sentiments seemed more 'real' in daylight, and even less like his emotion-avoiding friend. "Jim?"

"You're always on me to be more open. Merry Christmas, Chief. Of course, if you talk about it outside the loft, I'll have to kill you."

"Of course," Blair agreed gravely. He mimed turning a key at his lips, then tossing it over his shoulder.

The meal continued in silence for a few minutes, but Blair couldn't maintain it for long. "So, we gonna open the presents before the big game, or after?" He turned speculative eyes toward the tree. The very small present from Jim was driving him crazy. He firmly believed in the old adage that 'good things come in small packages', but he couldn't even guess what was in it.

"Like I could keep you away from them without using my handcuffs." Jim's voice showed his amusement. "As soon as the dishes are washed; I wouldn't want my guide to self-combust."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah -- it's not like you haven't been trying to figure out what's in yours!"

"Gotta admit, Sandburg, whatever you got, I can't get any information even with my senses turned up high. You might be taking this 'know-the-sentinel' gig a little far.

"Now that's just sour grapes," Blair said. "All I've done is put you on the same level with the rest of us mortals."

"Well, it worked," Jim admitted cheerfully. "Pumpkin pie for dessert?"

"It's breakfast-time; how about apple pie, instead?"

"Of course, it wouldn't hurt to have both," Jim pointed out.

"I like the way you think; bring it on!"

While Jim cut the pies, Blair grabbed the coffeepot and refilled both mugs. Each man took a section of the morning paper, which Jim had brought in earlier, and they ate in companionable silence. Afterward, working together as usual, they made short work of washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen.

"All right!" Blair exclaimed, landing on the couch with a decided bounce. "One at a time, or each open one simultaneously?"

"There aren't that many," Jim said. "I think we can wait to see what the other got. I'll even let you go first; here's one from Joel." He handed Blair a small box wrapped in silver-and-red striped paper. Blair ripped into the package without any urging.

"Oh, wow!" he laughed, letting three pair of soft Argyle socks spill through his fingers. "I'll have warm feet all winter. I wonder what little bird tipped him off?"

"Guilty, Chief." Jim picked up a larger box wrapped in matching paper. "And I wonder if a counterpart little bird helped him choose this one."

"Joel's a good friend," Blair said comfortably. "And he wants to give good presents." He watched as Jim examined the selection of organic, exotic honeys and jams. "I predict you'll have some pretty tasty breakfasts in the very near future."

"I predict you're right," Jim said, opening the lid of the boysenberry-peach jam to savor the aroma.

By unspoken consent, they saved their presents to each other for last; they opened and exclaimed over -- or laughed over -- gifts from all their friends in Major Crime. Then, with just two presents left, Jim handed Blair a square, slender box wrapped in delicately-embossed, silver paper. "This is from me, Chief; hope you like it."

Blair made a show of shaking the box next to his ear. "Well, it's not ticking, and it's not thick enough to hold a lump of coal." When Jim answered his quip with only the barest smile, Blair quietly opened the package with more care than he had shown the others. He couldn't imagine what Jim was concerned about; Blair was certain he'd love anything his friend had chosen.

He lifted the lid of the simple cardboard box, pulled aside the square of cotton padding, and gasped. The pendant inside was exquisite. A silver oval enclosed a wolf head and a panther head, side-by-side, each with turquoise eyes. The band of the oval was inset with -- Blair counted -- five pairs of brown/gold stones in various shades; he recognized amber, tigereye, and petrified wood, but not the other two. The whole thing hung from a leather thong, which was strung with stone beads that matched the gems of the amulet.

"Jim!" Blair's voice was barely audible, even to the sentinel. "This is... this is just..." Words failed him. He lifted his ankh over his head with trembling fingers, and replaced it with the panther and wolf. It settled beneath his throat as if it had come home, and he stroked each head with a delicate finger.

Jim cleared his throat. "I commissioned it from an Indian silversmith. After I explained what I wanted, he asked me to look through this big display case with different stones in each section, and told me to keep the essence of you in my mind. I had to choose five different stones that seemed as if they would 'enhance your being'." He shrugged self-deprecatingly. "Turns out they mean things like strength and protection and insight. I wrote it all down for you, 'cause I knew I'd never remember it all."

"It's incredible!" Blair breathed. "Every best present in my life, rolled up into one gigantic ball of good-ness, can't hold a candle to this. I expected something like a gift certificate to my favorite bookstore or something. This... I'm just blown away."

Jim relaxed and smiled happily. "I wanted to... sort of celebrate the sentinel-guide thing we share. Something to let you know I appreciate it, even when I'm being -- cantankerous." His smile widened, and he winked at Blair's stunned expression.

Blair quickly rallied. "Crabby."

"Grouchy."

"Obstreperous."

"Fractious."

"Sulky."

"Now, I resent that, Chief! I've never been sulky!"

"Not macho enough for you?"

"Got it in one." They laughed together, then Blair sobered. He lifted the pendant to look at it again, and shook his head in awe. "This is almost spooky, Jim." He crossed to the Christmas tree and grabbed the final package; he wanted it to pass directly from his hands to Jim's. "Merry Christmas... and I hope you like it half as much as I like mine." Rather than returning to his previous place, he sat next to Jim, holding his breath with anticipation.

Jim accepted the package almost solemnly. It was somewhat larger than the one he'd given Blair, wrapped in shiny blue paper with a pattern of silver bells.

He pulled the top off the cardboard box to discover -- a plastic food-saver, with the lid on tight. He snorted softly, and pulled up the lid to be confronted with a mass of styrofoam peanuts. He looked up, to see Blair watching intently. "There is a present in here, right, Chief?"

"Like you said earlier -- I wrapped it good!"

Jim reached into the packing material, and his fingers touched a band of metal, which he carefully pulled out.

As Jim examined the watch, he understood why Blair had termed his amulet 'spooky'. Although the watch was heavy and definitely masculine, the rim around the face was inset with alternating pieces of turquoise and tigereye. The flanges on each side of the face, where the band connected, were engraved -- one with the head of a panther, the other with the head of a wolf -- and the eyes of each animal were tiny chips of turquoise. Without being as ostentatious as the pendant he had designed for Blair, it was obvious that they'd been thinking along the same lines when they bought their present for the other.

"The watch already had the turquoise and tigereye on it -- those stand for strength and protection, by the way -- but the sides were plain. I took it to an Indian silversmith -- wonder if it was the same man? -- and had him do the engraving."

"It was the same man," Jim said absently. "I recognize his scent on the eye-stones." He unbuckled his old watch and slipped the new one in its place, after setting the time and pressing the stem to activate the battery. "This is amazing, Blair -- absolutely beautiful -- and just as uncanny as you said."

"You know, we've never really examined the spiritual side of this sentinel-guide connection. Do you think this is just coincidence, or more than that?"

Jim sighed deeply. "It's too much to be coincidence... but how can we analyze or measure a spiritual connection? And... God, Chief, it just feels like 'too much'. I mean... I'm happy where we are now, the way we are now. I'd rather ignore it most of the time, and just deal with the spirit plane when we have to. Can't we leave it like this?" His eyes begged Blair to understand.

Blair settled back into the couch, trying to relieve the tension by watching the tree instead of Jim, but edging closer so that his shoulder brushed Jim's. "Sure we can. I've got no beef with how things are going. You're handling your senses well, we make a great team, and I plan to take you up on your offer to keep living here -- well, for a few years, anyway. I think these --" he reached out to cover Jim's watch with one hand, while he clasped his amulet with the other, "are proof positive that we're in the groove.

"This has been absolutely, positively, the best Christmas I've ever had, and I can't imagine anything that can ever top it." Blair shifted sideways to make his point, holding Jim's eyes with his own. "But it wasn't the cookie-making, or the snowman-building, or even this," he fingered the pendant again, "that did it. It's the fact that you put so much thought into making me feel special, and the way you showed yourself in those notes you've been letting me find." He gave a half-shrug / half-hand-wave, a vulnerable, almost lost expression on his face. "You're this fantabulous combination of best friend, Blessed Protector," he gave a quick grin at Jim's small snort, "heroic champion and big brother. To have the friendship of a man like that... well, my cup is full. We don't have to add anything or do anything different."

Jim cleared his throat uneasily, his eyes shifting away. "Chief, I..."

Blair punched him gently on the shoulder. "Don't strain yourself, big guy; you already said it in your notes. It's more than enough, and --" he deliberately lightened his voice, "I think we'll both be happier if we get off this emotional roller coaster. Do you have anything planned for lunch?"

Patting Blair's knee, Jim said, "I've got a turkey breast marinating; it's just about time to put it in the oven. But while I do, there is one more thing." Jim rose and reached into the middle of the Christmas tree, pulling out an envelope that Blair hadn't noticed hiding among the branches. Almost reluctantly, but with a determined look on his face, he thrust it into Blair's hands. "You give me so much, Chief, every day -- things that are worth so much more than any money I could spend. This... is just a fraction of that, but I mean every word."

"Jim... what...?"

"Just read it." Hurrying into the kitchen, Jim ostentatiously -- and loudly -- busied himself with luncheon preparations.




Blair stared at the envelope for a few minutes; what could Jim have possibly written that had him so nervous? Only one way to find out. Very deliberately, he pulled the card from the envelope.

The front showed a large black cat and a small, brown, curly-haired terrier puppy lying next to each other, with the cat's head resting on the puppy's. It was so appropriate for the two of them that Blair suspected Jim had gone to one of those 'design-your-own' places. He opened the card and began to read.
Blair -- you mean so much to me. I don't want to take for granted that you 'know' how I feel -- maybe by osmosis? -- but you know I can never say this stuff. So here it is in writing, and you'll be able to hold it over my head for the next ten years. <g>

You're my best friend. You're the guide I depend on to keep my senses working properly. You're the best thing that ever happened in my life. In fact, I really should stop complaining about the senses -- if it wasn't for them, you and I would probably never have met, and my life would be far poorer. But that doesn't say enough.

I love you, Blair. You're my best friend. You're the partner I trust to always have my back. You're my beloved younger brother, far closer to me than Steven ever was or ever could be.

Are you wondering why? So many reasons. You're strong -- strong enough that you don't let me push you around, and you give back as good as you get. You're smart; you never make a big deal of it, but we both know you leave me and everyone else in the dust. The fact that you bring all of that brilliance to bear on helping me with the senses leaves me... humble. And grateful; so very grateful. You say the senses make me special, but it's the way you treat me that makes me feel special.

I think you don't realize it, but you're the one who's really special. You have the courage to follow me into the hairiest situations, compassion that overflows to share with anyone in need, and a sense of humor that never fails to lighten my day just when I need it. It's like... you fill up a hole inside me I didn't even know was there, and make me feel safe. I can't imagine my life without you in it. I don't want to. As long as I can be your best friend and partner, my life will be good; I hope you'll be part of my life for a long, long time.
Wow. Blair stared blindly at the Christmas tree, absorbing the words. He'd known that Jim tended to hide and repress things, but this was ridiculous; he'd had no idea that the man felt this deeply about their friendship. He reflected that Jim was right. The pendant was a spectacular gift, one Blair would treasure for the rest of his life -- but this simple card, with its heartfelt sentiments, meant far more. He felt deeply warmed by the outpouring of love, and profoundly grateful that Jim had worked so hard to convey his beautiful message.

Turning his attention outward, he realized that Jim was still making an inordinate amount of noise in the kitchen. Could the man really be worried about Blair's reaction to his final present? Time to set his mind at ease; Blair rose and joined him in the kitchen.

"Need any help?"

"Sure; you want to peel the sweet potatoes?"

"I'm on it." Blair washed his hands then, midway through peeling the first potato, he said casually, "Thanks, Jim. It really means a lot to me."

Jim shrugged a shoulder dismissively. "I hoped it would. You're welcome."




The rest of the day passed in quiet companionship -- watching the big game on TV, eating lunch at halftime, discussing plans for the rest of their time off, followed by college football with large pieces of pie.

It was almost perfect -- but Blair felt that something was still missing. It irritated him. He was still bowled over by the pendant and the letter; what more could he possibly want? But as Jim switched off the TV and stood to make his nightly check of doors and windows, he finally pinned it down. When Jim turned to head upstairs, he found Blair standing in front of him, a small smile playing around his mouth.

"You know, Jim, I'm a verbal guy. Actions speak louder than words -- but I like to hear the words, too. Despite the fact that these have been the best three days of my life, I think you should finish it with three little words."

"What's that, Chief?"

"No, not those, you doofus." Blair moved forward to hug Jim tightly, feeling the strong arms clasp him in response. "Merry Christmas, Jim."

Jim smiled down into Blair's dancing eyes. "Well, you know how it is -- all that college education gives you a glib tongue, compared to the rest of us mere mortals. But I'll give it a try." He tightened the hug, soaking in the sound, scent, and feel of his guide, wishing he might never have to let go. "Merry Christmas, Chief."



The End




Author's Notes

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Title: Merry Christmas, Chief
Summary: Christmas = Friendship + Snow + Love
Style: SLASH first time, J/B, rating PG-13
Size: 15,290 words, about 27 pages in MS Word
Warnings: None
Notes: Secret Santa request -- Would really like to see: Blair discover his worth to Jim. And it's Christmas, so something in line to snow and such... please. Written September and October, 2007.
Feedback: Not necessary, but I certainly do like to get it!
Email: If you prefer not to post a comment that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org




Merry Christmas, Chief   (slash)

by StarWatcher





Thursday, Dec. 17, 1998

Jim Ellison snatched up the phone before it had completed its first ring. "You're two minutes and thirty-seven seconds late, Chief. Keep this up, and Santa won't bring you anything but coal for Christmas." He let the broad smile -- deliberately pasted on -- infuse his voice, carrying clearly to the man on the other end of the line.

"Jim, Sequoia and Honeybee function according to hippie time; they have one clock in the house, and anything within thirty minutes of the stated time is 'on time'. You're just lucky I can actually call within sight of nine PM; it could just as easily be two in the morning." But under the humor of Blair's response, Jim could hear a tread of tension and weariness; his friend seemed to be withholding an exasperated snap.

"Sorry, Sandburg, didn't mean to push." Jim carried the phone across the room and settled on the couch, lying back against the cushions and lifting his feet to rest on the coffee table. "Call it my awkward way of saying 'wish you were here'. So, how is Naomi? And, for that matter, how are you?" And when are you coming home? he finished silently. He needed this daily contact with Blair, and intended to keep him on the line as long as possible, but it was a poor substitute for his guide's actual presence.

"Naomi's doing pretty good," Blair assured him. Jim could hear rustlings that spoke of a matching 'settling in', five hundred miles away; thank God for modern technology that allowed them to stay in touch. "I've been telling you that natural remedies are best, and they're really paying off for her. The cough is almost completely gone, but she's still feeling a bit weak -- and very restless. She needs me to sit on her when Sequoia and Honeybee are at work, or else she'll overdo and have a relapse. We're mostly just kicking back, reminiscing and catching up."

And running yourself ragged, looking after her, Jim suspected. But he could hardly quibble; this was a man who had jumped out of an airplane, determined to follow him and help find a friend. Taking care of a mother suffering from pneumonia wouldn't even be a blip on the radar. "Sounds good, Chief; very relaxing. How about we trade jobs for awhile? I had to chase a purse-snatcher three blocks today, and then the idiot tried to bean me with a brick while I was arresting him. He was innocent, naturally; he'd been jogging for his health, but got scared when I started chasing him -- strictly mistaken identity, of course -- and that's why he ran. And he didn't have the purse on him when I caught him, so obviously I had the wrong guy."

"Oh, man!" Blair's throaty chuckle warmed Jim more than a blazing fireplace ever could. "I know you found the evidence. What did he look like when you produced it?"

Jim matched Blair's chuckle. "Dumbfounded, Chief; absolutely couldn't believe it. It was a damn slick move; he didn't miss a step as he tossed it behind a dumpster, and he was far enough away that I wouldn't have seen it if I didn't have the senses. I heard him complaining that I was a witch doctor when they put him in the black-and-white."

"No way, man, that's my gig!" Jim relaxed more as he heard the stress fade from Blair's tone. For his part, the nagging headache that he'd carried since the arrest was beginning to fade; obviously, they were good for each other. "So, you're handling your senses okay?" Blair probed.

There was no reason to add to Blair's worries; Jim followed his frequent example and obfuscated like hell. "Not too bad; a few headaches is all." He couldn't claim no problems; Blair would be sure to grill Simon, Joel, and Megan when he got back, and probably Rhonda, too.

"No zones or spikes?" Blair's question was anxious, almost sharp. "Because Naomi really is better; I could head home tomorrow or the day after if you really need me."

"One little spike, and one almost-zone that Megan caught and pulled me right out of. She's still a pain in the ass to work with, and her guide abilities are only a so-so substitute for the real thing, but we manage. I'm a big boy, Chief; I'll be okay till next week. Trying to change your flight at this time of the year would be more trouble than it's worth, and probably cost you a penalty, besides. Wednesday's not that far away; it's no big deal."

"Six more days," Blair pointed out, his voice sounding dubious. "But you're right. You're going to want to kick me out and fly solo, eventually; I guess this is good practice. But you will call if you need me, right?"

"Will do, Chief," he promised. "But for now, there's a more important issue -- what do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas?"

Blair's voice became playful, and Jim could hear the broad grin. "Oh, you've decided that I deserve something more than coal?"

"Not me, Chief; Santa!"

"Ri-iiight." Blair's drawl was a pretty good imitation of his, Jim noticed. "Well, tell Santa that I've been thinking I need something to wake up the faculty meetings, like a tie with pink and purple polka-dots. That, and a briefcase full of old money -- twenties and fifties -- will do me just fine."

"Sandburg, I'm supposed to catch the criminals, not become one. The tie might be doable, though. But wouldn't you rather settle for some popcorn and beer in front of the fire?"

"Throw in a quart of Dutch chocolate Haagen-Daaz, and make it hot chocolate instead of beer, and you've got a deal."

"Can do, Chief. Just be sure you're here to share it with me. Turns out, I kind of miss having you around; you've grown on me.

"I know, I know; like a fungus," Blair said cheerfully. "But I'll be there, Jim, twelve-thirty next Wednesday, I promise."

"I'll pick you up, Sandburg. I might even ignore the code of the macho-man and give you a hug right in the airport."

"Oooh, be still my heart!" Blair teased. "Of course, you realize that I'd have to hug you back, right there in plain sight."

"Counting on it, Chief, counting on it."

They spent another ten minutes trading quips and discussing inconsequentials, then said their goodbyes. Jim reluctantly hung up the phone. He sighed as he massaged his temples, where the dull throbbing had subsided to the merest whisper -- but it was still there, and guaranteed to be back full-force tomorrow as soon as his senses encountered something objectionable.

Damn! He'd honestly thought that he was getting a handle on this sentinel thing; he'd been using his senses easily and well for the past eight or ten months. But now, given the way his senses had started to act up within three days of Sandburg's leaving, it seemed a strong possibility that he was able to manage so well only because he had regular doses of 'Sandburg-exposure'.

Jim had been smugly satisfied to be using his senses capably, even when Blair wasn't around, and confident enough to urge him to go to Naomi when her friends had called. Despite the younger man's misgivings at leaving his sentinel for the planned two weeks, Jim hadn't hesitated to drive Sandburg to the airport and see him off on his flight, with sincere wishes for Blair to stay as long as he needed.

But the longer Blair was gone, the less control Jim seemed to have over his senses. It was a struggle to get them to cooperate at a crime scene, and he'd worked grimly through more spikes than he'd ever admit to anyone. Fortunately, he got some relief when he returned to the loft each evening, where the changes and additions that Sandburg had made over the past two years had created a 'sentinel-friendly' haven. The fact that his guide's scent was still present also helped, as did the nightly phone calls.

But what the hell will I do when Sandburg finishes that damned dissertation and leaves for good? Jim wondered grimly as he prepared for bed. It wasn't all that early, and bed provided a quiet relief for his jangling senses -- especially since he'd had the inspired notion, just yesterday, to put fresh linens on Blair's bed, and wrap one of the used sheets around his own pillow. He'd slept better than any night since Blair had left, despite the lack of heartbeat in the room below his.

So he was managing -- for now -- but it made the outlook of a future without Sandburg pretty damn bleak. Kick his guide out and fly solo? Not 'no', but 'hell, no'; he wanted to wrap his arms around that sturdy body and never let go. But how could Jim admit that he needed Blair in his life, if he hoped to have any kind of a decent life at all? And, even if he did admit it, how likely was it that the other man would agree to spend the next forty-odd years tagging along and helping out a sentinel with wonky senses?

About as likely as Hell freezing over, Jim concluded bleakly as he lay his head on his pillow and breathed in the comforting scent of his guide. Maybe I should ask Santa to put Blair in my Christmas stocking. Then he'd be mine forever. Clinging to that heartening, illogical idea, he slipped into a restorative sleep and dreamed about sitting across the table from Blair, whose face was deeply wrinkled and whose curls had become silver-gray, but with the light of love still shining deeply from his eyes.




Monday, Dec. 21, 1998

Jim hung up the phone after the nightly long-distance visit with his guide, and smiled softly as he stared at the tree, picturing Blair's pleased surprise when he walked in the door. He hadn't put up a tree since the divorce; there didn't seem much point to it when he lived alone and always worked Christmas day to allow more time off for the men and women who had families. The past two years, Sandburg -- flexible as always -- had gone along with Jim's agenda.

But just this year, Jim had listened with amusement as Sandburg spouted a truly inspired rant on how the meaning of Christmas was severely diluted when it had become so commercialized that the decorations and sales appeared in the store aisles the week before Halloween. In typical Sandburgian fashion, the rant had segued into a discourse on the various ways Christmas was celebrated in different countries and cultures around the world. Somewhere in there, Jim had realized that Blair, an anthropologist to his very core, had probably enjoyed participating in the various traditions.

He had primed the pump by sharing a story of him and Stevie helping Sally in the kitchen as she made her special Christmas cookies, and watched Blair's eyes light up as he shared stories of his own. It seemed that his friend did indeed treasure the times that he and Naomi had been in a situation to help decorate a tree, or bake Christmas cookies, or wrap presents -- especially, perhaps, because it didn't happen every year; it had depended on whether or not Blair and Naomi were with people who even celebrated Christmas. Apparently, Blair had also learned to celebrate Chanukah in the same hit-or-miss fashion, and now simply matched his expectations to how those around him celebrated.

Just thinking about it brought a lump to Jim's throat; it felt like Blair was settling for scraps from the table instead of enjoying the full feast. Not this year, he thought, fiercely -- and not as long as Blair continued to live and work with him. A few days ago, Jim had begun his mission with as much dedication as he'd ever used in Covert Ops. He'd rented a large, well-shaped, potted Christmas tree from a local nursery, suspecting that Blair's ecological soul would approve of a living tree instead of a cut one, and decorated it with symbols of both their beliefs, secular as well as religious -- angels and stars, Santas and reindeer, as well as dreidels and six-pointed stars of David, foil-wrapped chocolate 'gelt' and tiny, iconic menorahs.

The tree-topper had stumped him for three days; Jim didn't want to make the subtle proclamation that one belief-system was more important than the other by setting a five-pointed or six-pointed star at the top, and he hadn't found a multi-pointed starburst that he found esthetically pleasing. Then, just this afternoon, he'd stopped at the herbal store, to pick up a fresh supply of Blair's favorite teas. A display table featured small -- barely hand-sized -- teddy bears, each individually adorned in hand-sewn clothing suitable for the season. Among the Santas, Mrs. Clauses, elves, reindeer, and angels were several dressed in robes that depicted Biblical figures from the Old Testament.

About to pass by with an amused smile, Jim's eye had been caught by a flash of blue the exact shade of Blair's eyes. Reaching into the center of the pack, he plucked out what could only be Joseph in his coat of many colors. Variations of blue predominated, and Jim was reminded of the vibrant vest Blair had worn that first day in his crowded, basement office. This particular bear had crinkled brown/russet plush, blue eyes, and an amused smirk -- there was no other word for it -- on its face; Jim had the uncanny feeling that he was looking at Blair's alter ego. The sale was a foregone conclusion, and he added a hefty tip for Mrs. Chavira to pass on to the bear's creator -- apparently a friend of Mrs. C's who needed the extra income. Jim was only too happy to contribute; he could just hear Blair murmuring, 'good karma' as he watched the bear being put into the shopping bag on top of the tea.

He had pulled the Blair-bear out of the bag as soon as he reached the truck, to sit on the dashboard during the drive home. Now it was nestled at the top of the tree, gaily surveying the continuing Christmas preparations. It was ridiculous to feel comforted by the little bear's presence, but somehow it seemed as if he'd brought a piece of Blair into the loft. It might -- probably would -- wear off after a time, but that didn't matter; Blair himself would be home in less than forty-eight hours.

Jim grabbed another beer and returned to the kitchen table to continue the project that Blair's nightly phone call had interrupted. He was determined to make this the best present that Blair had ever received, for Christmas, Chanukah, Solstice, birthday, or whatever. At least -- he hoped Blair would see it that way.

Jim tapped his pen on the table in thought, then bent over the page and started writing.




Wednesday, Dec. 23, 1998

Jim waited impatiently to see Blair step off the gangway leading from the plane. He'd tried dialing up his hearing to locate Blair's voice or heartbeat but, with a wince, hurriedly shut it down to a notch below 'normal'. The cacophony of planes landing and taking off, loudspeakers announcing arrivals and departures, and hundreds of people calling their 'hello's or 'goodbye's was an almost overwhelming tidal surge of input. He focused intently on the doorway, waiting for the first glimpse of his friend.

The flood of deplaning passengers had subsided to a trickle when Blair finally appeared. He looked somewhat rumpled and frazzled, but good-humored as always. But, trust Sandburg to latch onto the opposite sex -- he was carrying a dark-haired cutie of approximately four years old. A young matron, presumably the girl's mother, walked beside him, trying to soothe the fussy baby in her arms.

Jim watched as the little girl whispered something in Blair's ear, after which he laughed and tickled her tummy, which was greeted with delighted squeals of laughter. An unexpected flash of jealously surged over him -- my guide, dammit! -- which he tried to bury. 'Twas the season, and all that, and Blair wouldn't approve of such a possessive reaction. After all, someone was probably waiting to greet the little family, and would soon take over Blair's temporary job. He could hang on just a few more minutes.

"Elizabeth! Amber!" A gray-haired man and woman were hurrying toward the group. The little girl twisted in Blair's arms. "G'amma! G'ampa!" Blair transferred her to 'G'ampa's arms, did the 'polite introduction thing', patted the little girl on the head, said goodbye to the young mother, and finally -- finally! -- turned to look for Jim.

A broad smile crossed his face as soon as he saw his friend, and Jim watched the minute lines of stress and tension fade away. "JIM!" he shouted happily, hurrying across the broad expanse of carpet.

Jim didn't even try to resist. As soon as Blair was within reach, he enfolded him in a fervent hug, and reveled in the sensation of the reciprocal, heartfelt hug. "Blair," he whispered, his voice ragged, and buried his nose in the curls atop Blair's head. Surrounded by sight, sound, scent and feel of his guide, his senses instantly -- almost magically -- snapped back into focus. His headache subsided to a tickle, and the evil torture chamber became an ordinary airport lounge; loud and smelly, but nothing he couldn't handle... as long as he had this man beside him.

Embarrassed -- this wasn't the time or place for such an emotional display -- Jim loosened his hold and stepped back. "Welcome home, Chief; have a nice trip?"

Blair's eyes twinkled, laughing up into his. "Oh yeah, man, stellar!" he chuckled. "Two hours goes by so fast when you can spend it playing patty-cake."

"I'm sure her mother appreciated it; you're a good man, Chief." Jim's voice was warm and deep, completely serious.

Blair hesitated; somehow, Jim's words seemed a bit -- disproportionate. He'd expected an answering quip, but maybe Jim just wasn't up to it; Blair easily recognized the signs of pain around his friend's eyes. "Headache bad?" he asked softly.

"Not anymore," Jim assured him. He regretfully watched Blair's hand drift downward; he'd thought Blair had been about to stroke his forehead, and he'd been anticipating that soothing touch. Well, maybe later. Jim stifled a sigh as he continued, "But I'll be a whole lot better once we clear this pop-stand."

Blair's chuckle was understanding. "Oh, I hear that; I've enjoyed about as much of this as I can stand, myself. Home, James, and don't spare the horses!"




Blair settled into the truck with a heartfelt sigh. "So, what's on the agenda for the rest of the day? Do you need me at the PD this afternoon?"

"Actually, Chief, I wangled a few days off; barring the return of the Sunrise Patriots, I don't need to go in till Sunday. I thought I might talk you into helping me make cookies."

Blair turned and stared at his friend. "Cookies?" His tone was distinctly doubtful. "You make cookies?"

"Sally's secret recipe -- soft pumpkin cookies with pecans. And sugar cookies, of course; I thought we could drop them off at the PD tomorrow. And whatever you want to make -- you like anything special?"

"What's got into you, man?" Blair demanded. "I mean, you're good in the kitchen -- I know a couple of professional chefs who would kill to learn the secret of your shrimp polonaise -- but cookies?" The last word was uttered with a squeak of surprise.

Jim felt a thread of irritation; how could someone so intelligent be so clueless? "Sandburg, why must you always look a gift horse in the mouth? The proper response is to say 'thank you' and go with the flow. Which would be easier to do if your mouth wasn't hanging open."

Blair closed his mouth firmly, gave Jim a searching look, then uttered a pleasant, "Thank you, Jim." Unfortunately, he spoiled it a second later by asking, "But what's the gift?"

Fair enough; Blair wasn't a mind-reader, after all. Still, it wouldn't hurt to play with him. Jim shook his head in mock sorrow. "Chief, back around Halloween, did you or did you not spend three-quarters of an hour expounding on the cultural traditions of celebrating Christmas around the world?"

Had he? "I guess so," Blair ventured, cautiously. Amazing that Jim would remember a six-week old conversation; Blair certainly couldn't recall it.

"And did you or did you not admit to liking to make Christmas cookies?"

"Well, I do," Blair admitted. "But I don't remember telling you."

"You did," Jim assured him. "So I thought..." His voice trailed off as he stared at the road ahead. Blair was almost sure that he saw a hint of blush suffuse Jim's cheeks.

Blair was amused; what could be so terrible about baking cookies? "Thought what?"

"I wanted to..." Jim cleared his throat, "makeaniceChristmasforyou. So I thought we could make cookies. So what kind do you want to make?"

"Wow!" Blair blinked, feeling slightly adrift. Not that Jim couldn't be thoughtful and empathic, sometimes, but this was just... it didn't exactly feel like the Jim he knew and loved. On the other hand, how could he complain about a 'kinder, gentler' Jim? And wasn't he supposed to be the king of 'go with the flow'? So he needed to get with the program and just 'go', already.

Blair gave himself a mental shake. "That's... that really is special, man. Thank you. Okay... Gingerbread cookies! Do we have any molasses at home?"

"No, but we'll swing by Mercer's Market on the way."




Jim carried the grocery sacks -- which contained not only the jars of molasses, but extra supplies of flour, sugar, eggs and milk -- as a thinly-veiled reason for Sandburg to use his key to unlock the door, and enter first. Jim held back just enough not to interfere with Blair's first view of the transformed loft.

The reaction was everything he could have hoped for. Blair took two steps inside the door and stopped short. His backpack slipped unheeded from his shoulder and his suitcase hit the floor as he stared around the room. "Whoa!" he breathed. "Is it my imagination, or did Christmas kind of explode in here?" He moved slowly forward, taking in the decorated tree in front of the balcony windows, the garlands twined around the railings of the upper loft, the potted poinsettias in the middle of the dining table and on the coffee table, the gold and silver bells tied onto more garlands and looped gracefully across the upper tier of the balcony doors, and the carved wooden elves lounging atop the stereo speakers and peeking out from around the books and knickknacks on the shelves along the wall. It should've been too much, Blair thought absently as he surveyed each carefully-placed item, but -- somehow -- it all meshed into a charming 'whole'.

Jim grinned as he closed the door behind him and carried the groceries into the kitchen. "I thought you might get a kick out of it," he said, his voice conveying a mixture of pride and smugness. "Maybe I should have waited for you to help, but time was getting so short and..." he hid inside the refrigerator as he put away the eggs and milk, but kept his voice loud enough for Blair to hear, "...I wanted to surprise you. But we can make it a team effort next year."

'Next year'? Blair felt more at 'home' here than he'd ever felt in his life, and he certainly didn't want to leave. But he'd watched Jim's growing ease and competence in using his senses, and concluded it was just a matter of time until Jim decided he no longer needed Blair's help and told him -- politely, of course -- 'thanks, so long, and see you around'. Was this just a slip of the tongue, or was Jim actually anticipating that Blair would still be around 'next year'?

"Yeah, man, sounds like a plan," he murmured absently as he examined the tree more closely, noting all the six-pointed and five-pointed stars placed side-by-side. And where had the man found tree ornaments shaped like dreidels and menorahs? "But it's not like you needed my help," he said more strongly; "the tree looks great. In fact..." he stood back and considered the tree as he would a museum painting, noting the balance and cohesiveness. "I wonder if sentinels might also have an enhanced artistic sense. Or maybe it's the other way around -- people with enhanced perceptions of color, space and balance become artists."

"Or maybe it's just your friend's anal personality," Jim pointed out. "Believe me, Chief, I was just as particular before my senses ever came online."

"But you had them, even though they were hidden from your conscious mind," Blair argued.

Whoops! Wrong time for this; he could swear he felt Jim's attitude growing cooler, withdrawing. "But you know," he continued earnestly, "'tis the season, and all that. You've given me this great, unwrapped Christmas present, so now I'll give you one. No senses testing until after..." he did some rapid calculations, "January sixth; that's two full weeks. I won't even mention 'senses' unless you have a problem with them and need a bit of help." He grinned as he spread his arms and proclaimed grandly, "Merry Christmas, Jim!"

Jim's relaxation was palpable, even from across the room. "Thanks, Chief; I really appreciate it," he said, solemnly. Then, with a quick shift of mood, he continued, "And I'll see your 'Merry Christmas' and raise you a 'Happy Chanukah'. That table is for you."

"Huh?" Blair finally paid attention to the small, narrow table placed opposite the tree, in front of the other end of the balcony doors. It was draped with a white-on-white embroidered runner, and had a simple circle of pine boughs in the middle. "That? I thought maybe you planned to put party refreshments there, or something."

Jim was very busy pulling mixing bowls and cookie sheets out of the cupboards; it was easier to say sappy stuff if he wasn't looking at Blair. He meant every word, but it just wasn't easy to say. "I know you haven't, the past two years... but I thought you might have a Menorah to put there. If you want to," he finished hurriedly.

"You wouldn't mind?" Blair walked into the kitchen and planted himself in front of Jim, searching his eyes for the truth. Jim didn't try to avoid it, and smiled gently at his friend.

"Blair, if I minded, I wouldn't have offered. This is your home, too, for as long as you want to stay."

"Aw, man..." Blair wrapped his arms around Jim in a fierce hug, and felt it reciprocated. "You're the best! Thank you; that means so much." He stepped back, blinking the moisture from his eyes. "But Chanukah actually ended on Monday; Naomi and I lit the Menorah at Sequoia and Honeybee's place. But I really, really appreciate the offer. Next year, huh?"

"Next year," Jim agreed. "Now, what d'ya say we make some cookies? Toss your stuff in your room and let's get crackin'."

"Sounds like a plan." Blair hurried to scoop up his abandoned suitcase and backpack and carried them toward his room. As he approached the closed doors, he slowed. A banner hung across the doorframe.

WELCOME HOME, CHIEF.
I missed you.

Plain and unadorned, like Jim himself, but the sentiment settled in Blair's soul like a warm coat. He'd known Jim appreciated his help with the senses -- when he wasn't complaining about having to deal with them at all -- but Blair had long since realized that Jim very seldom said anything; he just expected Blair to know how he felt. And Blair did... but this unexpected acknowledgement was sweet indeed. "Aw, Jim," he all but whispered, knowing it was loud enough for his friend to hear, "the feeling is entirely mutual."

He ducked under the banner -- Jim had placed it high enough, and he wanted to savor it for awhile -- tossed his bags on the bed, and rejoined Jim in the kitchen. He rolled up his sleeves, donned an apron, washed his hands and was soon working beside his friend with almost choreographed movements. We really do fit together, he realized, as he measured the sugar and flour and watched Jim beat it with the butter, eggs, and pumpkin. Wonder how many years it would take to get bored with this?

He pondered that question as he placed spoonfuls of batter on the cookie sheet and pressed a pecan half neatly into the center of each. He'd spent over half his life traveling; it was as normal for him as mowing the lawn was for a typical suburbanite. Any time Naomi had been six months in one place, she'd found another goal for 'enlightenment', another star to follow, and headed for another rainbow -- usually with Blair in tow. Even when Blair had settled at Rainier, he'd spent most Christmas breaks on mini-expeditions, and headed out to something more substantial every summer.

But not lately; not since he'd met Jim. He realized now that he'd been half-expecting to feel the old wanderlust, vaguely hoping that it wouldn't hit until Jim no longer needed his help with the senses. Something had changed; he'd have to meditate to be sure, but it seemed like the wanderlust wasn't merely deferred. He was pretty sure it was completely defunct -- and it was all because of one James Joseph Ellison.

Fifty years, he decided, watching as Jim deftly slid the cookie sheets into the oven. I could spend fifty years with this man -- and how the hell did that happen?

But would Jim want him around for fifty years? Somehow, Blair doubted it, despite his friend's new, relaxed attitude... and 'detaching with love' would be damned difficult when Jim gave him his walking papers, whether it happened in one year or five. If he was smart, he'd start trying to distance himself, disentangle his heart so it wouldn't hurt so much when he had to leave.

Not gonna happen, Blair decided; he'd hang on to this friendship as long as he could, and store the memories for his later years.

Satisfied with his conclusions, Blair turned to measure the molasses for the gingerbread. He felt a vast sense of contentment to be making cookies with his best friend, simply because that friend had wanted to give him pleasure. He sniffed the delightful aroma of the pumpkin cookies in the oven, watched Jim as he used the whisk to beat the eggs into a fine froth, and smiled happily; life didn't get any better than this.




After twelve dozen cookies, four loaves of pumpkin bread, four loaves of banana nut bread, two pecan pies, two apple pies, and two pumpkin pies, the vote was unanimous -- no more time in the kitchen. Jim called in an order for pizza, with a side of garlic cheese sticks. They ate while watching one of the playoff games, then finished their meal with a selection of the cookies and pie.

By the middle of the fourth quarter, Blair was fading fast; he'd been up early to catch the plane, then had an eventful flight keeping his little seat-companion happily occupied, followed by a full afternoon with Jim. After the third jaw-cracking yawn, he muttered, "Sorry, Jim. It's not the company, it's just been a long day. Think I'll hit the sheets as soon as the game is finished."

"Sounds like a plan, Chief," Jim agreed easily. "But I've got another surprise for you tomorrow; you might want to hit the showers first, so you're ready to go in the morning."

"Oh, yeah? Go where?"

"Sandburg, what part of 'surprise' don't you understand? That information is on a 'need to know' basis, and until we get there, you don't need to know."

A broad wink signified that Jim was teasing, like I couldn't have figured that out for myself, Blair chuckled internally. But it was wonderful to see Jim having so much fun in making Christmas for his friend; Blair could see vestiges of the happy little boy he must once have been.

He played along; this lighthearted attitude was too precious to shoot down. "Does that mean I'm gonna be blindfolded as we get close to... wherever you have planned?"

"I hadn't thought of it... but I might consider a gag, if necessary." Jim gave Blair a playful shove. "Game's over. Go. Shower."

"And how much are you going to complain when I use all the hot water?"

"I'm feeling generous. No complaints; I'll just suffer in silence through my usual cold shower."

"Or you could wait fifteen minutes for the water heater to recharge."

Jim affected a look of astonishment. "Why did I never think of that? Thanks, Chief. At least now we know all that college education hasn't been wasted."

Blair allowed his chuckle to escape. "Man, you are so full of it. But this doesn't get me any closer to that nice, soft pillow; I'm going, I'm going!"

He ambled into his room to collect clean underwear and the old thermal shirt that was his winter sleepwear, then carried them to the bathroom, hanging them on the hook behind the door. Stripping, he tossed everything into the laundry hamper, then pulled back the shower curtain -- to be faced with an envelope hanging from the showerhead by a length of sewing thread, with 'BLAIR' written across the front in big, block letters.

Bemused, he broke the thread and opened the envelope. The front of the card showed a goofy-looking puppy with madly-wagging tail, and the caption, 'You make me so very happy'. Inside, the blank space had been filled by a hand-written note.
Blair, when I took a shower last night, I looked at the bar of soap in my hand -- hypo-allergenic, unscented, all-natural ingredients -- and I had a flashback to the week before you moved in here. My skin itched so much I couldn't sleep, could barely concentrate on my work, and I had rashes in places I don't even want to mention. You changed that, with a little intuition, empathy, and common sense. I know you'd say it's no big deal -- but I didn't think of changing my soap... or all the other personal and cleaning products in the house.

You've made an enormous difference in my life, as guide to a sentinel, but even more as friend to a man. I appreciate it more than I can say. I know I don't say it often enough -- okay, ever -- but I'm grateful every damn day that you're a part of my life. Thanks for being here, Chief. Thanks for being you.
The signature was a little smiley-face.

Blair stood for several minutes, rereading the message three times. Wow. Just... wow.

He ran his fingers across the words, as if they would become more real. He knew how reluctant Jim was to put his emotions into words. Blair could picture him, bent over the kitchen table, scowling at the paper as he tried to express his inner being. The fact that he'd go to so much trouble for this gift -- and Blair never doubted that it was a gift, one that was almost beyond price -- was exhilarating. And humbling. And deeply, deeply satisfying.

But could it be more? he wondered. God, if only....

But probably not; it was far too easy, feeling the way he did, to read more than Jim intended. He'd wait until Jim gave him a definite sign. If it never came... well, friendship was enough.

As he climbed into the shower, he murmured, "Thanks, Jim. And... you're welcome."

Out in the living room, Jim smiled with satisfaction -- first step accomplished, and it seemed that Blair was a bit off balance. That was good; it might make him more receptive as the plan developed. He put his feet up on the coffee table, and changed the channel to the late news.




Thursday, Dec. 24, 1998

The delectable smell of bacon, eggs, fresh cinnamon rolls and coffee encouraged Blair out of his cozy nest to greet the day. He tied his robe, raked back his hair and, yawning, headed for the coffeepot.

"Morning, Chief!"

In Blair's pre-coffee opinion, Jim's voice was entirely too chipper. "If you say so. What time is it?"

"Eight-fifteen. Since it's a whole hour later than you get up when you have to go to school, I think that's enough sleeping in. Your 'surprise' is a bit -- I guess the best description is 'involved' -- and we really should be on the road by nine or so." Jim scooped the bacon and scrambled eggs onto two plates and placed them on the table. "Eat up!"

Blair reached for one of the crispy strips of bacon, slid it forward to pick up a lump of eggs, and bit off the end. It was every bit as good as it smelled, but -- "You do realize this is cholesterol city, don't you?" He took another bite, savoring the combination of salt and sweet.

"It's also sustained energy and internal warmth. Eat the cinnamon roll, too."

"What, you're planning on dog-sledding?" Blair deliberately looked out the balcony windows. "That'll be a little difficult, seeing as there's no snow."

"But it'll freeze tonight," Jim declared with certainty, "which falls right in with my plans. And quit fishing; you'll know when we get there." His smirk was decidedly devilish.

"Okay. But if I turn into a popsicle, you'll have to thaw me out."

"Actually, that's part of the plan. So finish eating and go get dressed -- several warm layers, plus boots, gloves, and that ridiculous Fargo hat." Jim rose to top off their coffee, then pulled a large thermos from the cupboard. He filled it with hot water and let it set for a few minutes, then dumped the water and poured the coffee into the thermos, capping it tightly.

Blair watched his partner making careful preparations. He wasn't sure he wanted to participate in anything that required extra layers of clothing. But Jim was having so much fun... and Blair knew that, if he truly didn't enjoy his 'surprise', Jim would cut it short and bring him home. He swallowed the last of his coffee and stood.

"Y'know, I'm beginning to understand why Naomi usually managed to be someplace warm during the winter months; you don't need half the amount of clothing. And may I ask what those are for?"

Jim was placing four of the cinnamon rolls in a plastic baggie. "Eating, of course. Hot coffee and cinnamon rolls go good together; we'll appreciate the snack, even if we don't need the energy. And why aren't you getting dressed?"

"I'm going, I'm going!" Blair watched Jim begin washing the dishes. "But consider this -- you've cooked breakfast, told me what to wear, and now you send me off to get dressed while you do the dishes. Have it ever occurred to you that you'd make some kid a great -- mother?" He snickered and ducked the threatened wet dishrag, then hightailed it to his room.




Jim headed east, toward the mountains; within forty-five minutes, they had reached an elevation where snow appeared by the side of the road. "Skiing?" Blair asked. "Gotta tell you, I've always thought it looked like fun, but I'm a complete novice -- never even tried it once."

Jim glanced at his friend. "That's too bad, Chief; it is a lot of fun. Maybe we can come up after New Year's and I'll give you some lessons. But no skiing today."

"Okay." Blair subsided, watching as Jim guided the truck higher, and the snow beside the road became deeper. Eventually they turned onto a smaller, less-traveled side road. When they reached a 'scenic outlook', Jim pulled into the parking area. "Wait here, Chief; I need to put on the chains."

He was efficient; in less than five minute they were moving again. Ten minutes later, Jim turned onto a narrow track that showed no signs of recent travel. "Good; I hoped no one had been up here lately."

"You sure we won't get stuck, even with the chains?" Blair didn't look forward to having to get out and push.

"No problem; it's not that deep here under the trees," Jim assured him.

The track continued to wind upward. Thirty minutes later it ended at a large clearing, covered by a pristine expanse of snow. Jim drove straight into the middle and shut off the engine.

Blair looked around. It was beautiful. The white snow blanketed the earth, and lay gently on the evergreen trees with the blue sky arching overhead; they'd left the cloudy gloom back in Cascade. But what kind of surprise was Jim expecting to produce? "Where are we?" he asked.

"This is the parking lot for a really great fishing spot... but you have to hike about two miles that way to get there," Jim explained, gesturing vaguely forward. "I really can't see anyone wanting to do that in this weather, and I was right; no visitors have been through, so we have perfect snow."

Blair looked again; there didn't seem to be anything special about the area, or the snow. "Perfect for what?"

"Making a snowman."

"Making a snowman?"

"Making a snowman."

"And we'll be making a snowman because...?"

"Because you said you had such a great time doing it with what's-his-name when you were eight, and I wanted to give you that again."

"Billy Thompson," Blair said absently. "So we're going to make a snowman and leave it out here in the middle of nowhere?"

"Well, we could. But I think it would be more fun to take it down and put it right beside the main door at home, don't you?"

Blair wasn't following Jim at all. "How?"

"Here's how I see it. We fill the truck-bed about one-third full of snow. Then we roll up a snowman bottom, torso, and head, and put them in the truck; the snow will cushion the ride so they won't fall apart. Then shovel more snow around them, and cover it all with the tarp so it won't blow out on the way home. When we get there, we make a base of the loose snow on the sidewalk -- against the building so it'll be out of the way -- and assemble the snowman there. And Prospect Avenue will have its own genuine, hand-built snowman."

Blair's excited enthusiasm was everything Jim had hoped for. "Man, that's a great idea! Weird -- whoever heard of driving seventy miles to make a snowman? -- but great! I'm kind of surprised you thought of it -- weird is supposed to be my gig -- but I am so down with that. Let's get crackin'." He buttoned the coat he had loosened in the warmth of the truck, tied his Fargo hat tightly, pulled on his gloves and hopped out, heading toward the truck-bed. "I suppose you brought shovels?"

Jim joined him, and threw back the tarp. "Sandburg, I've planned much harder missions than this. One for you and one for me." He handed both snow-shovels to Blair, and pulled the tarp off the truck, setting it to one side. "The easiest thing to do is to start right here by the truck and shovel in the snow. As we work farther away, we'll have a clear path to carry it back to the truck. Just don't scoop too deep; we don't want any of the gravel from the ground."

"Aye, aye, sir!" Blair chuckled, giving Jim a sloppy salute. Sometimes his friend's tendency to micro-manage everything could be irritating. Other times, like now, it was just -- cute. Not that I'll ever tell him that! He bent over his shovel and started scooping.

It took very little time to fill the truck-bed one-third full of snow. Jim propped his shovel against the side of the truck and rubbed his hands in anticipation. "Now the fun part, Chief. You make the head, I make the middle, and we work together on the base?"

"Sounds like a plan," Blair agreed, heading farther away from the truck, toward an untouched swath of snow. He scooped up a double handful and shaped it into a ball, patting it firmly to form the core of the snowman's head. Jim was working a short distance away, shaping a similar snowball. Blair paused, eyeing his friend's broad back.

"Don't even think it, Sandburg," Jim said. "Remember, I'm armed, too."

Yeah, yeah; spoilsport!" But he dropped the snowball into the snow, and started it on a rolling path to gather more. He continued to pat it firmly as he went; he wanted a solid, tightly-packed globe that wouldn't fall apart on the trip home.

When he had what he thought was a good-sized head -- about eighteen inches in diameter -- he turned to see how Jim was progressing with the torso.

Jim noticed Blair straighten from his crouch, and angled his snowball toward Blair's. He stopped a few feet away, and also straightened. "What do you think about the relative sizes, Chief?"

Blair compared them visually, then decided, "Yours needs another layer or two," and bent to help Jim roll the larger ball on one more collection-circuit. The finished torso was about a foot wider than the head.

"Looks good," Jim decided. "Ready for the big one, Chief?"

"Yeah, but..." Blair regarded the torso-ball dubiously. "If we make the base proportionate to those two, it'll stick above the walls of the truck-bed. With the tarp beating on it, it'll get kind of flattened by the time we get home, don't you think?"

Jim shrugged. "I don't see that it'll hurt anything; a flattened side will just make a more stable support when we put the snowman together." He bent and started the third ball. As soon as it grew big enough, Blair joined him in the pushing, rolling, and patting. Jim kept an eye on the terrain, guiding the path so that, by the time the ball had grown to the correct size, it was very close to the other two. With matching groans of relief, both men straightened.

"Well, we can't carry them -- or at least, not the torso and base," Blair pointed out. "You gonna bring the truck over here?"

"I rather thought we would bring the truck over here. But first, there's cinnamon rolls and hot coffee calling our names, don't you think?"

"Man, you have the best ideas! Let's go."

Side-by-side they hiked the short distance back to the truck; the growing snowman-pieces had taken them farther than Blair thought. And, now that he wasn't physically active, he could feel the cold creeping in through all his layers; the hot coffee would warm him nicely.




After the break, they made short work of getting the snowman pieces into the truck-bed. Still following Jim's plan, they shoveled more snow around the round lumps, filling the truck-bed almost to the top of the sidewalls. It made sense, Blair decided; the extra snow would keep the round balls -- boulders, really -- from rolling and maybe breaking apart.

As Jim tied down the tarp that would protect everything on the trip home, Blair was planning ahead, seeing the put-together snowman standing in front of their home. But something was missing from the picture...

"Hey, Jim? I just realized; we're not finished."

"Of course not; it won't be until we assemble it back in Cascade."

"That's not it. A snowman is more than three big balls of snow; we need something for arms, and eyes and mouth, and buttons down the front. We don't have anything at home, except the carrot for the nose." He waved at the expanse of trees that encroached on one side of the clearing. "I'll bet we could find something in there -- especially if you use your senses for the search."

Jim chuckled. "I always knew you were a kid at heart, Sandburg -- or do you just want to win the snowman-judging contest?" He draped his arm around Blair's shoulders and started walking with him toward the trees. "It's a good idea, though, so lead on, MacDuff!"

As they walked through the beautiful, silent landscape, Jim didn't bother to remove his arm from Blair's shoulders. For his part, Blair reciprocated by slipping his arm around Jim's waist as he enjoyed this all-too-rare closeness; he hoped at least some of it would last past the Christmas season.

Once under the trees, Jim became the hunter, releasing Blair as he stalked forward on the trail of elusive pinecones and wily tree-branches. Blair stifled the pang as Jim's arm left his shoulders and followed his sentinel on the hunt.

Jim's skills were as accurate as Blair had expected; in short order, they had collected almost three dozen pinecones in several shapes and sizes, and two branches from a fallen aspen. They broke the sticks to an even size, leaving the finger-like twigs at the end intact, and piled the pinecones into Blair's Fargo hat.

Blair had dropped a few steps behind so that Jim, with the snowman 'arms' over one shoulder and a few evergreen boughs under one arm, could maneuver through the forest growth. He eyed that enticing broad back and ran some calculations. His chances of winning were extremely slight, but the target was just too tempting.

He set his pinecone-filled hat behind the nearest tree, then stooped to form a snowball. But he'd seen his share of old-fashioned Westerns; he knew that only a lily-livered, cowardly dog attacked from behind. "Hey, Jim!" he called.

"Yeah, Chief?" As expected, Jim half turned to answer... to be met by Blair's snowball to the chest.

Trained warrior reflexes kicked in; Jim dropped his encumbrances and leaped into battle. "You are so going to get it, Sandburg!" he shouted, lobbing his own snowball toward the enemy.

With no lack of ammunition, and plenty of shielding tree-trunks, the fight ranged far a-field. Each man gave as good as he got, pitching snowballs, dodging return fire, ducking behind tree-trunks, and darting out to toss another snowball. Laughter danced through the air as they shouted threats and counter-threats, occasionally falling back on the old stand-by of, "Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah!"

Jim was getting too close; Blair turned to execute a strategic retreat and tripped over a root hidden in the snow.

"Got'cha!" Jim pounced on Blair's prone figure, expecting a swift end to the battle -- he had the actual combat training, after all -- but Blair demonstrated an unexpected command of wrestling skills. They rolled over and over in the snow until they ran into a tree-trunk, stopping their momentum. Blair struggled but, caught by a tree on one side and with Jim's weight pressing him into the snow, he couldn't escape; graceful surrender seemed his only option. "Uncle!" he gasped, letting his head fall back into the snow and laughing up into the face above him. "You win!"

"It was a foregone conclusion, Sandburg," Jim growled in his most threatening tones. He leaned closer, his breath puffing into Blair's face. "Remember that the next time; youth and sneakiness will always lose against age and experience."

"Well, you have the age anyway," Blair said easily.

Jim leaned even closer. "Those who doubt the experience may be doomed to have it demonstrated first-hand."

Blair just grinned. "Oh, yeah, I'm shaking in my boots, here. Do your worst, big guy; I can handle it."

"You..." Blue eyes met blue and, without warning, something shifted. Each man held his breath, waiting, feeling... Their faces were so close that their breaths mingled as they searched each other's eyes. Something was happening, here...

A shiver passed through Blair's body, breaking the spell. Jim felt it, of course. He quickly rose, and extended a hand to help Blair up. "Enough, Chief. We need to get going if we're going to get the snowman built before dark."

"Right. I think you're just trying to save face, don't want to admit that the lowly anthropologist held his own against the big, buff ranger."

"Dream on, Chief. It just doesn't seem kosher to freeze my best friend before we even get his snowman built."

Backtracking to recover the pinecones and dropped branches wasn't difficult; as Blair pointed out, "If all trails were like this, no one would need to develop tracking skills." Ten minutes later they had their 'snowman accessories' stashed behind the seats and were heading back down the mountain, with the heat turned high. They both appreciated the chance to warm up before another round of playing in the snow.




What the hell was that, Ellison? Jim asked himself as they headed toward the truck. You were damn near ready to hump your best friend in the snow. That is

not

the way to persuade someone into a deeper relationship. Stick with the plan and maybe --
maybe you'll get lucky tomorrow night.




Enjoying the warmth, and the silent companionship of his best friend -- and that's enough; it's more than a lot of people have, he told himself sternly -- Blair watched the snow-covered trees pass by without comment. But still... for a minute there, it really seemed like... He reined in his speculations sharply. Jumping to conclusions could be disastrous, and you can't build a relationship on 'seems like'. Take it as it comes and play it cool while you're waiting, you idiot! Self-imposed pep-talk finished, Blair settled deeper into his seat, and maybe he zoned a little; the next thing he knew, they were pulling into a parking lot in front of a long, low log building. The sign over the door read, 'Aspen Chalet'.

"What's this?" he asked. "And it's the wrong shape for a chalet."

"Don't be picky, Sandburg; it isn't the outside that counts, but what's inside."

"And inside we'll find...?"

"Lunch. They do mostly sandwiches, but they use real meat and vegetables, not the processed stuff, and they make the best damn hot German potato salad you'll ever taste. It wouldn't be much of a present if I let you faint from hunger before we finish making the snowman."

Blair hid his grin as he followed Jim into the restaurant. Mush; the man was pure mush beneath his frequently-gruff exterior, and Blair loved him for it.




This lunch would go into his stored memories as one of the best meals he'd ever shared with Jim, Blair decided. The food was hearty and delicious, and the room was quiet, with very few diners on this day before Christmas. And Jim... was there, actually engaging in conversation instead of just spouting macho bull about the Jags' latest game.

Not that they didn't discuss sports, but it didn't stop there. The conversation ranged seemingly across the world, from Jim's work to Blair's work, from exotic places Jim had visited to even more exotic places Blair had visited, from the vagaries of students to the quirks of cops. Under their outward differences, it was amazing how similar they were deep down, Blair decided. Or... not similar, exactly... but definitely simpatico. Their different lives had led them both to a deep respect for other peoples and cultures, and a basic acceptance of the oddities of humanity.

Not for the first time, Blair reflected how lucky he was. He'd gone searching for a sentinel, anticipating finding nothing more than some guy who was a walking collection of hyperactive senses. Instead he'd found a remarkable man, sometimes flawed, but with an extraordinary dedication to doing the best he could to make the world a better place. That such a man counted him as 'friend' was a treasure beyond price.




Jim pulled up across the street to allow Blair a good overview of the area. "Okay, Chief, it's your snowman; where do you want to put him?"

"There," Blair decided, pointing to a spot about fifteen feet to the left of the main doors of the bakery on the ground floor. "If we put it against the wall, it'll be out of the way of the pedestrian traffic, and it's halfway between the streetlamps, so it'll be sort of lit up all night. And it won't get much sun, there; it might stay frozen for a few extra days."

"Sounds good," Jim said as he maneuvered the truck to the right angle to back into a parking space close to the selected area. Working together, they soon had the tarp untied and pushed back, and were carrying shovels of snow to form a snow-platform; Blair was convinced that that would also help retard the melting.

The solidly-formed snowman parts had made the trip without crumpling or breaking apart. It took only a few minutes for Jim and Blair to assemble them properly, and just a little longer to use the leftover snow in the truck-bed for packing into the joins, to 'cement' everything together.

Then came the fun part. Blair examined his selection of pinecones, deciding how best to use them. Two of a medium size became the eyes, after he had cut off the top halves and pushed them into the head bottom-out. The tightly-whorled, barely-open scales of that part of the pinecones gave the snowman a wide-eyed, eager look, especially when combined with the broad smile underneath, formed of small round pinecones, each slightly larger than a grape.

Blair sent Jim upstairs for a carrot -- "No, we can't use a pinecone; carrot noses are traditional. But break one in half; we don't want the nose to overpower the rest of the face." -- while he pressed the slender, elongated pinecones down the snowman's torso. Stepping back to evaluate the effect, he decided that they really did look like fancy, high-class button-covers.

"Here you go, Chief," Jim said, handing over the carrot. "And I thought you might like these, for eyebrows." He held out two other carrot pieces, about two inches long, that had been sliced in half lengthwise.

"Perfect! Thanks, man." He placed nose and eyebrows with due care, and stepped back again to admire the result. "That is one fine-looking snowman."

"Absolutely; best one on Prospect Avenue." Jim grinned to see his friend so involved in his creative endeavor. "Just needs the arms, now. How do you want them -- angled up, or down, or one of each?"

"Hmmm... can you hold one angled forward, about forty-five degrees?" Jim complied, patiently following directions to shift the sample arm up, down, forward or backward. "That's it! We need to break about two feet off the end of each, then put them at a little upward angle and about halfway forward.

"Now he looks ready to hug the whole world," Blair said when the arms were in place, satisfaction coloring his tone. "Forget Prospect Avenue; I bet we have the best snowman in the whole city!"

"Not quite. We can't have a naked snowman standing around; he might get hauled in for indecent exposure." Jim slowly pulled a tie out of his pocket. "I thought you might like to put this around his neck."

Blair started laughing. "My god, it's perfect! But where did you get it?"

Jim grinned as he looped the tie -- garish yellow-green with rainbow-colored dolphins leaping on it -- around the snowman's neck. "It was a joke-gift from a surfing party a long time ago; I just never got around to tossing it. I thought it might give your snowman a certain... élan." He completed a neat four-in-hand knot.

"Well, we could call it that, though I'm not sure anyone else would agree. But who cares?" Blair stepped forward to slap Jim a high-five. "I know I said it already, but this was a great idea; you the man!"

Jim returned the high-five, then kept Blair's hand clasped within his own as he smiled gently. "It takes one to know one, Chief; you're 'the man' in my book." He saw -- and felt -- a minute shiver pass through Blair. "But I think 'the man' is getting cold. Seems like I promised you some popcorn and hot chocolate last week; tonight would be a good time to make good on it. Ready to go up?"

"That's what I really like about you, Jim; you come up with the best ideas. This combination of snowman-building and recovery from snowman-building should rank right up in the top ten."

"Oh, yeah?" Jim asked, ushering Blair through the door and across the lobby. "So what else do you think is in the top ten?"

"Well, actually, that's not as easy as you'd think," Blair admitted cheerfully. "It varies with recent events -- like cookie-making yesterday. But in general..." He paused, thinking while the elevator carried them upward. "Well, in general, any time you suggest a weekend fishing trip ranks right up there. And any time you decide to make your shrimp polonaise is a stellar idea. But simpler things, too, like when you suggest take-out pizza and cold beer after a hard day, or a round of pick-up basketball with just the two of us.

"Of course, there's the other end of the spectrum -- the ideas I could live without, like your inclination not to share the TV remote control, or weekly cleaning twice a week. But on balance, the good ideas are way more plentiful than the bad ones."

"Wow, Sandburg, you overwhelm me with praise," Jim said dryly, hanging his coat on the hooks beside the door and stepping out of his boots.

Blair chortled, shedding his own coat and boots. "And one of your good qualities is that you speak plainly. Just following your lead, man -- and being patient till we get to the popcorn and hot chocolate."

"And Haagen-Daaz chocolate ice cream," Jim reminded him as he walked into the kitchen and pulled open the freezer. "I didn't forget. But while you're exercising your patience, how about spaghetti and garlic bread for supper? We have a couple pints of sauce in here, and ground turkey for the meatballs."

"Add another one to the top ten!" Blair exclaimed, joining him in the kitchen. "Man, you're really batting a thousand." He gave Jim a friendly elbow-jab then, working in their customary harmony, they continued their supper preparations.




Great day -- no, two days! Blair mused, as he dried himself after his shower and slipped into his thermal undershirt and fresh boxers. Good thing I'm not sick, or I'd think Jim was representing the Make-a-Wish foundation. He snorted softly to himself. Of course, he'd have to be psychic to come up with everything he's done, since even I didn't know I was wishing for this stuff. On the other hand, he is a sentinel; maybe he's got enhancements he hasn't told me about.

He wore a contented smile as he carefully hung up his wet towels and pulled the loose hair from the drain, wrapping it neatly in toilet paper and tossing it in the trash; Jim deserved some kind of tangible 'thank you' for the incredible, open-hearted generosity he'd been demonstrating. On the other hand, I've always known he was pretty much a gooey marshmallow inside, Blair pondered as he tied the belt of his robe and stepped out into the hall. I just never expected him to be so obvious about it.

He stopped for a second at the doors to his room, lifting a hand casually. "It's all yours, man; I even left you some hot water. See you in the morning."

"Thanks, Chief; goodnight," Jim said absently. Blair grinned; if Jim was at the 'unmasking the killer' part of his current book, he'd finish that chapter before he put it down -- and then think up arguments for and against while he showered. Sometimes it still surprised him that a detective actually liked to read mystery novels.

He tossed his robe on the foot of the bed and pulled down the blankets without bothering to turn on the lights. But, when he laid his head on the pillow, his cheek hit something stiff, and it -- crinkled. Huh? Sitting up, Blair turned on the bedside lamp and discovered an envelope on his pillow.

Fingers trembling slightly -- Jim, this is, like... unreal! -- he pulled out a card that showed a picture of a vibrant rainbow waving proudly above snow-capped mountains. Blair stared at it for a few moments; this was like... well, he wasn't sure what it was like, but it sure didn't feel like the Jim he knew. Finally, carefully, he opened it to see what Jim had written.
Blair -- I told you that I appreciate your friendship and your 'guide'-ship. What I didn't tell you is that you've permeated my entire life... and I like it. Your voice is an anchor when my senses are kicking up a storm. When you walk into a room, you bring a vibrant energy that fills up the whole place which, somehow, smoothes out all the rough edges of the sensory input. You don't even have to do anything; just having you within eyesight or hearing range -- or even the scent imprint that you've left behind when you put your coffee cup on my desk before you go haring off to enlighten someone about your latest interest -- is enough to keep my senses stable. Hearing your heartbeat in the room below me is the lullaby that allows me to fall asleep peacefully -- I had a hell of a time sleeping while you were gone -- and hearing that same heartbeat when I wake in the morning immediately orients me for the day.

You could be right -- maybe one day I won't need you to keep my senses stable, and I'll be ready to fly solo... but I suspect it will take a few more years. At least.

God knows you have your own life to live. I'm just saying, you don't have to move out as soon as you have enough information for your dissertation, or even when the dissertation is finished. I wouldn't mind sharing the loft with a PhD -- it might even give the joint a little class, huh? This is an official invitation -- you can stay as long as you want, as long as it's what you want.

And now I'm getting real close to being mushy; I do have my standards to uphold.  
:-)   So I'll just say, welcome back, buddy. Listening to your heartbeat, I'll sleep well tonight; I hope you do, too.
This time, it was signed with a small, but carefully-executed, heart.

Almost dazed, Blair rose and stepped to the door but, when he opened it, he heard the shower running. Even Jim wouldn't hear him through that natural white noise, unless he shouted. Deliberate? Maybe, maybe not, and absolutely no way to know.

Slowly, Blair closed the door, turned out the light, laid down and pulled the covers up. He lay, staring into the darkness, thinking. The idea of this kind of connection was -- again -- overwhelming. And scary. And downright cool.

But -- could he really do it? It was fine to decide 'fifty years' when it was only a fantasy, but he had no experience with long-term friendships in close quarters. The occasional postcard from a distant expedition, sure. A drink every two years when an old friend passed through, no problem. But... some kind of permanent relationship? Did he really have it in him? What about if one of them -- or both of them -- got married?

But surely tribal sentinels and guides must've lived like that -- always close, even if they had wives and children. The male friendship bonds are even stronger, and more common, than in 'civilization'. It's been done. Question is, can I do it?

And he still couldn't tell if Jim wanted something more. He'd happily give up the idea of marriage and spend the rest of his life making hot monkey love with the man, but he wouldn't force the issue. He couldn't take the chance that Jim would acquiesce to sexual overtures simply as a way to keep Blair in his life, so that the sentinel could continue to have his guide with him.

But, realistically, how long can a relationship last, with unrequited love on one side? How likely is it to become too warped to sustain, how long before it explodes into a big meltdown? I could set a time-table -- say, three years -- move out, get my own place, still work together if he needs me. Would that be better, or worse?

There were too many factors to weigh; he simply couldn't come to a conclusion.

When Blair heard the bathroom door open, he whispered, "Thanks, Jim." There was no answer, and the thinking continued for a long time before sleep claimed him.




Lying in his big -- lonely -- bed upstairs, Jim could easily tell that Blair wasn't asleep yet. The question was, what was he thinking? Had he read only the overt 'friendship' in Jim's note, or had he read between the lines and seen something deeper?

Coward! he jeered to himself. If you hadn't hidden in the shower, you might know by now. Or you could walk down the stairs right now and just talk to the man!

But it was too soon; he wanted -- needed -- Blair to read the letter first. Maybe he was a coward, but he needed the security of following the plan. It just seemed like that gave the greatest likelihood for success; if it worked, he only had another... fourteen or fifteen hours to wait.

Resolutely, Jim tried to ignore the fact that, if his plan didn't work, he'd be waiting through a lot of long, lonely years.




Friday, Dec. 25, 1998

Again, Jim was midway through breakfast preparations when Blair woke; he smelled sausage and coffee, and heard the sound of the beater as Jim mixed batter for pancakes or waffles. Shelving last night's perplexing questions, he tossed aside the blankets and reached for his robe.

"Just in time, Chief!" Jim called from the kitchen. "I'm ready to put the pancakes on the griddle right now; shake a leg!"

"Nag, nag, nag," Blair teased, heading toward the bathroom. "If you're not careful, I'll just keep your present and get my money back." Closing the bathroom door only muffled Jim's hearty chuckle.

Interesting how Jim can time breakfast to just when I wake up, Blair mused, washing his hands. Wonder if he can sense a change in my body temperature or heartbeat or something. I'll have to ask... after the two-week moratorium is up. He snickered softly to himself, remembering his promise.

"'Morning, Jim; merry Christmas," Blair said as he crossed toward the coffeepot. He filled two mugs and carried them toward the table.

"Right back at'cha, Chief. How does blueberry pancakes and sausage sound?" Jim asked rhetorically; he'd already put a plate in front of Blair and was sitting down with his own.

"Pretty close to heaven," Blair said, reaching for the blueberry jam he liked to spread on top; in his opinion, blueberry pancakes should be really blueberry. As he picked up the knife beside his plate, he noticed an edge of paper all-but-hidden under his napkin. Pulling it out, he read:

One of the perks of having you in my life is sharing meals.
When you're sitting across the table, my day starts out right.


Jaw dropping, Blair read it again. Somehow, the sentiments seemed more 'real' in daylight, and even less like his emotion-avoiding friend. "Jim?"

"You're always on me to be more open. Merry Christmas, Chief. Of course, if you talk about it outside the loft, I'll have to kill you."

"Of course," Blair agreed gravely. He mimed turning a key at his lips, then tossing it over his shoulder.

The meal continued in silence for a few minutes, but Blair couldn't maintain it for long. "So, we gonna open the presents before the big game, or after?" He turned speculative eyes toward the tree. The very small present from Jim was driving him crazy. He firmly believed in the old adage that 'good things come in small packages', but he couldn't even guess what was in it.

"Like I could keep you away from them without using my handcuffs." Jim's voice showed his amusement. "As soon as the dishes are washed; I wouldn't want my guide to self-combust."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah -- it's not like you haven't been trying to figure out what's in yours!"

"Gotta admit, Sandburg, whatever you got, I can't get any information even with my senses turned up high. You might be taking this 'know-the-sentinel' gig a little far.

"Now that's just sour grapes," Blair said. "All I've done is put you on the same level with the rest of us mortals."

"Well, it worked," Jim admitted cheerfully. "Pumpkin pie for dessert?"

"It's breakfast-time; how about apple pie, instead?"

"Of course, it wouldn't hurt to have both," Jim pointed out.

"I like the way you think; bring it on!"

While Jim cut the pies, Blair grabbed the coffeepot and refilled both mugs. Each man took a section of the morning paper, which Jim had brought in earlier, and they ate in companionable silence. Afterward, working together as usual, they made short work of washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen.

"All right!" Blair exclaimed, landing on the couch with a decided bounce. "One at a time, or each open one simultaneously?"

"There aren't that many," Jim said. "I think we can wait to see what the other got. I'll even let you go first; here's one from Joel." He handed Blair a small box wrapped in silver-and-red striped paper. Blair ripped into the package without any urging.

"Oh, wow!" he laughed, letting three pair of soft Argyle socks spill through his fingers. "I'll have warm feet all winter. I wonder what little bird tipped him off?"

"Guilty, Chief." Jim picked up a larger box wrapped in matching paper. "And I wonder if a counterpart little bird helped him choose this one."

"Joel's a good friend," Blair said comfortably. "And he wants to give good presents." He watched as Jim examined the selection of organic, exotic honeys and jams. "I predict you'll have some pretty tasty breakfasts in the very near future."

"I predict you're right," Jim said, opening the lid of the boysenberry-peach jam to savor the aroma.

By unspoken consent, they saved their presents to each other for last; they opened and exclaimed over -- or laughed over -- gifts from all their friends in Major Crime. Then, with just two presents left, Jim handed Blair a square, slender box wrapped in delicately-embossed, silver paper. "This is from me, Chief; hope you like it."

Blair made a show of shaking the box next to his ear. "Well, it's not ticking, and it's not thick enough to hold a lump of coal." When Jim answered his quip with only the barest smile, Blair quietly opened the package with more care than he had shown the others. He couldn't imagine what Jim was concerned about; Blair was certain he'd love anything his friend had chosen.

He lifted the lid of the simple cardboard box, pulled aside the square of cotton padding, and gasped. The pendant inside was exquisite. A silver oval enclosed a wolf head and a panther head, side-by-side, each with turquoise eyes. The band of the oval was inset with -- Blair counted -- five pairs of brown/gold stones in various shades; he recognized amber, tigereye, and petrified wood, but not the other two. The whole thing hung from a leather thong, which was strung with stone beads that matched the gems of the amulet.

"Jim!" Blair's voice was barely audible, even to the sentinel. "This is... this is just..." Words failed him. He lifted his ankh over his head with trembling fingers, and replaced it with the panther and wolf. It settled beneath his throat as if it had come home, and he stroked each head with a delicate finger.

Jim cleared his throat. "I commissioned it from an Indian silversmith. After I explained what I wanted, he asked me to look through this big display case with different stones in each section, and told me to keep the essence of you in my mind. I had to choose five different stones that seemed as if they would 'enhance your being'." He shrugged self-deprecatingly. "Turns out they mean things like strength and protection and insight. I wrote it all down for you, 'cause I knew I'd never remember it all."

"It's incredible!" Blair breathed. "Every best present in my life, rolled up into one gigantic ball of good-ness, can't hold a candle to this. I expected something like a gift certificate to my favorite bookstore or something. This... I'm just blown away."

Jim relaxed, although Blair's discerning eye noticed a remaining tension, and he smiled happily. "I wanted to... sort of celebrate the sentinel-guide thing we share. Something to let you know I appreciate it, even when I'm being -- cantankerous." His smile widened, and he winked at Blair's stunned expression.

Blair quickly rallied. "Crabby."

"Grouchy."

"Obstreperous."

"Fractious."

"Sulky."

"Now, I resent that, Chief! I've never been sulky!"

"Not macho enough for you?"

"Got it in one." They laughed together, then Blair sobered. He lifted the pendant to look at it again, and shook his head in awe. "This is almost spooky, Jim." He crossed to the Christmas tree and grabbed the final package; he wanted it to pass directly from his hands to Jim's. "Merry Christmas... and I hope you like it half as much as I like mine." Rather than returning to his previous place, he sat next to Jim, holding his breath with anticipation.

Jim accepted the package almost solemnly. It was somewhat larger than the one he'd given Blair, wrapped in shiny blue paper with a pattern of silver bells.

He pulled the top off the cardboard box to discover -- a plastic food-saver, with the lid on tight. He snorted softly, and pulled up the lid to be confronted with a mass of styrofoam peanuts. He looked up, to see Blair watching intently. "There is a present in here, right, Chief?"

"Like you said earlier -- I wrapped it good!"

Jim reached into the packing material, and his fingers touched a band of metal, which he carefully pulled out.

As Jim examined the watch, he understood why Blair had termed his amulet 'spooky'. Although the watch was heavy and definitely masculine, the rim around the face was inset with alternating pieces of turquoise and tigereye. The flanges on each side of the face, where the band connected, were engraved -- one with the head of a panther, the other with the head of a wolf -- and the eyes of each animal were tiny chips of turquoise. Without being as ostentatious as the pendant he had designed for Blair, it was obvious that they'd been thinking along the same lines when they bought their present for the other.

"The watch already had the turquoise and tigereye on it -- those stand for strength and protection, by the way -- but the sides were plain. I took it to an Indian silversmith -- wonder if it was the same man? -- and had him do the engraving."

"It was the same man," Jim said absently. "I recognize his scent on the eye-stones." He unbuckled his old watch and slipped the new one in its place, after setting the time and pressing the stem to activate the battery. "This is amazing, Blair -- absolutely beautiful -- and just as uncanny as you said."

"You know, we've never really examined the spiritual side of this sentinel-guide connection. Do you think this is just coincidence, or more than that?"

Jim sighed deeply. "It's too much to be coincidence... but how can we analyze or measure a spiritual connection? And... God, Chief, it just feels like 'too much'. I mean... I'm happy to ignore it most of the time, and just deal with the spirit plane when we have to. Can't we leave it like that?" His eyes begged Blair to understand.

Blair settled back into the couch, trying to relieve the tension by watching the tree instead of Jim, but edging closer so that his shoulder brushed Jim's. "Sure we can. I've got no beef with how things are going. You're handling your senses well, we make a great team, and I plan to take you up on your offer to keep living here -- well, for a few years, anyway. I think these --" he reached out to cover Jim's watch with one hand, while he clasped his amulet with the other, "are proof positive that we're in the groove.

"This has been absolutely, positively, the best Christmas I've ever had, and I can't imagine anything that can ever top it." Blair shifted sideways to make his point, holding Jim's eyes with his own. "But it wasn't the cookie-making, or the snowman-building, or even this," he fingered the pendant again, "that did it. It's the fact that you put so much thought into making me feel special, and the way you showed yourself in those notes you've been letting me find." He gave a half-shrug / half-hand-wave, a vulnerable, almost lost expression on his face. "You're this fantabulous combination of best friend, Blessed Protector," he gave a quick grin at Jim's small snort, "heroic champion and big brother. To have the friendship of a man like that... well, my cup is full. We don't have to add anything or do anything different."

Jim cleared his throat uneasily, his eyes shifting away. "Chief, I..."

Blair punched him gently on the shoulder. "Don't strain yourself, big guy; you already said it in your notes. It's more than enough; I don't need anything else."

"Well, there is one more thing." Jim rose and reached into the middle of the Christmas tree, pulling out an envelope that Blair hadn't noticed hiding among the branches. Almost reluctantly, but with a determined look on his face, he thrust it into Blair's hands. "Read this, and think about it. I mean really, really think about it."

He grabbed his coat from its hook and slipped into it. "I'll be back in about an hour. I swear, Blair, we'll handle it whichever way you want it to go. Nothing has to change unless you want it to." He shut the door quietly behind him.

"Wait! Jim..." But he was already gone.




Blair stared at the envelope for a few minutes; what could Jim have possibly written that had him so uptight? Only one way to find out. Very deliberately, he pulled the card from the envelope.

The front showed one perfect, half-opened, long-stemmed red rose, a drop of dew poised on one petal. Considering that Jim had undoubtedly put a lot of thought into selecting the card, the picture was probably... significant. Blair opened the card and began to read.
Blair -- relax and take a deep breath. Nothing has changed since my earlier notes. You're still my best friend. You're still the guide I depend on to keep my senses working properly. You're still the best thing that ever happened in my life. In fact, I really should stop complaining about the senses -- if it wasn't for them, you and I would probably never have met, and my life would be far poorer. But lately, that's not everything I feel.

But before I go on, I want you to know -- to be absolutely sure -- that I won't make a move without your agreement and say-so. I'll follow your guidance in this and for once, I'll do it without arguing. You decide, and I'll take my cues from you.

Here's the deal -- I love you, Blair. Yes, like a best friend. Yes, like a trusted partner. But also... like a lover.

Do you know your hair has 162 different shades of red, brown, and gold? When you've just washed it, and it's drying while you sit beside the fireplace, I can count every one of them. Touching it is like touching silk, only better, because it responds on my skin like it's alive. Bet you've wondered why I always go for the hair; now you know.

You're easy on the eyes; I love just watching you. Your face is so expressive -- and your hands dance when you're explaining something, speaking a language of their own. Your body is perfectly proportioned -- compact and slender; it should be a crime to hide it under layers of flannel the way you do. But strong -- strong enough that you don't let me push you around, and you give back as good as you get.

Your voice hath charms to soothe the savage breast -- or at least my savage breast. It reaches deep into my soul and vibrates within every cell of my being. Sometimes it's the lifeline that pulls me from a zone; other times it's a siren call that sings through my most vivid fantasies. Your scent smells like home, and comfort, and love, and your taste... I can only guess that it will be just as rich, just as enticing. I can't wait to find out.

Then there's your brain -- that logical, illogical, incisive, intuitive, wonderful brain. You never make a big deal of it, but we both know you leave me and everyone else in the dust. The fact that you bring all of that brilliance to bear on helping me with the senses leaves me... humble. And grateful; so very grateful. Being the focus of your attention is... a real turn-on. You say the senses make me special, but it's the way you treat me that makes me feel special.

I think you don't realize it, but you're the one who's really special. You have the courage to follow me into the hairiest situations, compassion that overflows to share with anyone in need, and a sense of humor that never fails to lighten my day just when I need it. It's like... you fill up a hole inside me I didn't even know was there, and make me feel safe. I can't imagine my life without you in it. I don't want to.
The writing covered the inside of the card and was continued on the back, and then Jim had kept writing on a separate sheet of paper. Blair paused in his reading, trying to absorb the words. He'd known that Jim tended to hide and repress things, but this was ridiculous; he'd had no idea that the man felt like this. How long has it been going on? he wondered, and how could I be so clueless as to miss it? But, depending on how Jim had finished his letter, they might soon be making up for lost time. Eagerly, he unfolded the new page.
Blair -- in case you haven't figured it out by now, I love you. But also, I'm IN love with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, loving you, making love to you, and having you make love to me. I think -- I hope -- you feel the same way.

But maybe this has all come at you from left field. Maybe you're planning that someday you'll have a wife and a couple of kids, and maybe you don't want to give up that dream. I swear, if that's what you want, I'll stay out of your way. Just give me the high sign when I walk in the door -- I guess by acting like all this card says is 'Merry Christmas' -- and I'll never mention how I feel.

I can live with that; as long as I can be your best friend and partner, my life will be good. Whether we're lovers or friends, I hope you'll be part of my life for a long, long time.

But... I love you, Blair. Can you love me back?
Well, duh! Blair snorted softly to himself; he couldn't wait to show Jim Ellison just how willing he was to love him back. Willing, hell; it took all he had not to throw on his own coat and run out looking for Jim. But there was no way to know where to look; he'd be with Jim a lot sooner if he waited here, as patiently as he could.

Which really wasn't all that patient; Blair paced around the living room, running his hands through his hair as he considered his next move. Jim deserved to know Blair's answer as soon as he walked through the door, but what could he do to demonstrate his feelings?

Candles were romantic... but kind of girly. Tie a red bow around his throat, and pose on the couch with his robe hanging open? No way; it would be too blatant, and he'd feel way too silly.

On the other hand, this was kind of like he was expecting a date, and he wouldn't greet a date in his bathrobe and ratty undershirt. Yeah, set the scene -- build a fire, put on some 'date' clothes, maybe have some glasses and an open bottle of wine waiting on the coffee table... did they have any wine?

Blair glanced at the clock. If Jim returned on time -- and he was always on time -- he had just twenty minutes to pull all this together. Yeah, he could do this.




Jim paused outside the door; he hadn't felt this nervous when he asked Carolyn to marry him. He felt almost paralyzed; once he stepped into the loft, it was out of his hands. His future was up to Blair, and...

And what? he asked himself. You trust Blair to have your back for everything else; is this so different? You know he cares for you; that won't change, even if it doesn't become the love you want. So quit being an ass, Ellison, open that door and face the music.

He slipped quietly, almost cautiously, through the door and closed it gently behind him. If he was expecting not to be noticed, it didn't work. Blair, reading on the end of the couch, looked up and gave him a brilliant smile. "Welcome home, Jim!" He put his book down and strode toward his love.

In the few seconds it took him to cross the room, Jim saw and analyzed the preparations Blair had made. The warmth of the fire and the ready bottle of wine were reassuring; there was no reason to make the effort if they were going to remain 'just friends'.

But the most encouraging sign was Blair himself. He was wearing his 'lucky' jeans -- sinfully soft with repeated washings, and snug enough to invite close exploration. Jim's fingers itched to touch the sensuous satin shirt -- or rather, the body that it clung to, highlighting the slender, sturdy form. Blair's eyes, blazing with love, were bluer from the deep color of the shirt, and -- where on earth had he gotten it? -- he'd stuck a sprig of mistletoe on top of his head.

Blair put his arms around Jim's waist without giving him time to take off his coat. "I've been waiting for this... longer than you know. I love you, too, Jim."




Oh God, yes! Blair thought fuzzily as he returned Jim's kisses with equal fervor. Why did we wait so long? Then thought faded as he immersed himself in taste -- and warmth -- and love.




Later -- much later -- they lay entwined on the couch, breathing and heartrates subsiding to normal. Blair deliberately snuggled deeper into the cushions, wrapping his arms and legs around Jim to pull him tighter, reveling in the touch of skin on skin, and the firm pressure of Jim's body on his. Jim continued to press languid kisses on Blair's temple, eyelids, nose, chin... and lips.

Finally he lifted his head, gazing down at his now and forever love. "Hey," he said gently.

Blair's eyes fluttered open, love spilling from his soul, accepting Jim's love in return. "Yeah?"

"Merry Christmas, Chief."



The End




Author's Notes


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Title: Need to Know
Summary: Blair's dreams after Incacha's death will lead him on a quest.
Style: Gen
Size: 22,950 words, about 44 pages
Warnings: None
Notes: Written September, 2009
Feedback: Not necessary, but I certainly do like to get it!
Email: If you prefer not to post a comment that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org






Need to Know

by StarWatcher





The darkness was all-encompassing. Just the faintest hint of ambient light assured him he hadn't gone blind, but it wasn't enough to allow him to navigate, or even show him where he was. The place felt 'big' but, at the same time, 'enclosed'. He listened, but there was no sound; the silence was so complete that he could literally hear the air molecules impacting his eardrums.

He had no idea how he'd gotten here. At least he wasn't restrained in any way, and his head wasn't throbbing, so it was unlikely he'd been drugged or knocked unconscious. But whatever or whoever had dumped him here probably meant him no good; it would be stupid to sit here waiting on someone else's whims.

He swept his hands around him. Finding no walls -- and, more importantly, no holes in the rocky ground -- he carefully stood. Cautiously, one step at a time, he moved forward, hand outstretched to avoid running into something, and one foot leading, tapping the ground firmly before he shifted his weight to it. An arthritic turtle would probably move faster, but he'd seen too many movies that depicted hidden traps in seemingly innocuous locations. Hell, he'd experienced a few himself. No sense rushing headlong to knock himself out against an obstacle, or fall over the edge of a cliff.

Eventually, his reaching hand encountered a wall -- uneven rock, cool and slightly damp. Was he in a cave? It seemed likely. That meant there would be a way out... but which way? He strained his eyes, looking left, then right, but could discern no difference in the levels of barely-light. He held his breath with his eyes closed as he faced each direction, straining to feel. Was there a smidgen of air current hitting his cheeks as he faced left? Maybe. It was as good a reason as any to choose that direction.

He resumed his progress, right hand on the wall, left hand forward to avoid hitting another wall, and foot still tapping the ground before each step. At this rate, it would take him a year to find his way out -- if he ever did. He tried not to remember the fate of 'Indian Joe', trapped in Tom Sawyer's cave. Surely it wouldn't come to that; his friends would be looking for him, wouldn't they?

He hoped they'd find him sooner rather than later.





Jim lay in bed, listening to the racing heart and labored breathing in the bedroom below. He'd been awakened the past five nights by Sandburg's reactions to whatever dreams were bothering him. The kid had seemed quieter than usual, a bit reserved, in the month since Incacha's death. It was only natural; not only had Incacha died right in front of him, Blair also had the guilt of his friend Janet's death because he had asked for her help. It took time to work through these things, and Jim had been prepared to let Sandburg handle it himself. But if the recent bad dreams were any indication, the kid was feeling worse instead of better.

When Blair started whimpering, Jim threw back the covers; enough was enough. He padded down the stairs and slipped quietly into Sandburg's room. The kid looked rough, sweating profusely, with the blankets twisted around him, and his heart rate continued to increase. But an abrupt awakening might compound the problem.

Hoping he was doing the right thing, Jim laid a firm but gentle hand on Blair's cheek. "You're okay, Chief," he murmured. "It's only a dream. You're safe; nothing can hurt you." Slowly, he stroked a thumb across the clammy skin, deliberately catching the roughness of the nighttime beard, hoping the sensation would penetrate the sleeping psyche. "Wherever you are, it's not real; you're home, you're safe."

It seemed to be working; the heartrate was slowing, and his breathing was easier. Blair stirred, barely on the edge of wakefulness. "Jim?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm here; I've got your back while you..." Inspiration struck. "...while you're sitting in the living room, candles all around you, meditating all the 'bad vibes' away."

Jim reflected ruefully that Sandburg's world-view was rubbing off on him. But he couldn't argue with the results; Blair had finally slipped into what seemed to be a peaceful, dreamless sleep. Moving carefully, Jim supported Blair's head while he flipped the pillow so that his friend would be resting on a cooler surface, then untangled the blankets from his legs so that he'd sleep more comfortably.

As he headed back up the stairs, Jim considered whether he should suggest Sandburg talk to someone. Probably not a psychiatrist; for all his easy rhetoric about being in touch with one's inner self, Blair seemed reluctant to open up about his feelings. But maybe he'd confide in one of Naomi's friends, someone he'd known for many years. When Blair talked about the people he'd known from his younger days, most of them seemed to have a real flaky, new-age attitude. But he seemed comfortable with that mindset, and it might help him deal with whatever was bothering him. At worst, it probably wouldn't hurt. Of course, the hard part would be convincing him that he had a problem, and needed help.

Pot, kettle. Jim grinned ruefully to himself. How many times had he resisted when Sandburg pushed him to open up about his feelings? But Jim had undergone training to resist and fight off attacks, both internal and external. He couldn't count the number of times Sandburg had complained about his tendency to 'leave his emotions at the door'. But it was necessary in his line of work, and helped him maintain his balance in what could be an ugly world. Blair, on the other hand, was a civilian; he hadn't had that kind of training, and probably wouldn't accept it if it were offered to him. But he had to find some way to expend the feelings that were eating at him; otherwise, the explosive repercussions would be ugly at best, and possibly life-shattering at worst.

Jim wouldn't let that happen. First as a big brother, then as a leader of men, he'd learned to help and protect those under him whenever and however possible; the instinct was bone-deep. But Sandburg was more than one of 'his men'; he was a good friend, and his guide in this sentinel stuff. If Blair left because he couldn't handle the stress of being Jim's friend, or the sentinel's guide, Jim's life would be immeasurably poorer.

Fortunately, tomorrow was Saturday. As Jim pulled the covers up to his shoulders, he decided it would be the perfect time to institute 'Operation Fix Sandburg'.




Sentinel perceptions could be useful. Jim recognized Blair's pre-waking pattern and used it as an early-warning system. When Blair stumbled out of the bedroom, a mug of strong, hot coffee was waiting by his plate, and Jim was putting the finishing touches on fresh blueberry waffles and a cheese-and-mushroom omelet. Other than a muttered, "Thanks, Jim," Blair didn't say anything, but he finished everything on his plate with evident satisfaction and gratifying speed. Afterward, Jim refilled their coffee mugs as he broached the subject.

"I hate to tell you this, Chief, but you're looking a little ragged around the edges." Actually, he looked like shit; he had dark shadows under his eyes, his hair was kind of limp and lanky and -- worst of all -- the essential spark of life-enjoyment was absent from his eyes. "You been sleeping okay?"

Blair hesitated, then admitted, "Not so great, actually. I'm thinking maybe I should drop a class; between teaching and studying and working with you, I'm feeling kind of stretched thin." He grinned, trying to make a joke. "I may not be pushing forty, like some old geezers around here, but I have to admit I'm not sixteen anymore. Dropping a class, and the studying that goes with it, would give me five or six hours more a week to spread out between the other stuff."

"Sounds like a plan," Jim agreed easily. Privately, he was appalled; six hours was a drop in the bucket compared to all 'the other stuff' Sandburg had going on all the time. Unless that extra six hours was spent in quality sleep -- no nightmares -- Jim wasn't sure it would have a significant effect. "But what does that have to do with not sleeping so great?"

"Oh, you know, free-floating anxieties about getting bogged down, and nothing gets done." Blair's attempt at a casual brush-off seemed somewhat flat. "One of the hazards of being a grad student and teaching fellow; it'll pass."

Well, Jim had known it wouldn't be easy. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, take the bull by the horns, and all that shit. "The thing is, buddy, I think it's more than that. I know you're having bad dreams; your heartbeat pounds so hard I think it's trying to jump right out of your chest. It's even woken me up a couple of times."

Blair looked stricken. "Ah, hell, Jim; I'm sorry! I'll sleep with the white-noise generator turned on until things settle down; it should only be a week or so."

"That's not the point, Chief. You're the one who told Joel he had to face his fears, and that you'd been in and out of therapy since you got out of your pampers. If something's bothering you, you've got to talk it out."

"This from a man who's so good about opening up about his own feelings and insecurities?"

Jim sighed. "Blair, we're different people -- different life experiences, different responses to things that happen, different ways of dealing with those things. I bury, you talk. You've already showed me that burying shit isn't the best way of handling things, so take your own advice." He held Sandburg's eyes with intense honesty. "I'm worried, Chief. If you try to bury whatever's bothering you, I'm afraid you'll explode. It'll be messy and painful, and I don't want to see it happen to you. So, talk. If not to me, to a therapist or an old friend. 'Burdens shared are burdens halved', and all that."

Blair ran his fingers through his hair as he sighed in turn. "I know you're right -- in theory. In practice, there's really nothing to talk about. At least nothing that makes any sense."

"Haven't you said that talking things through helps them make sense?" Jim encouraged. He really couldn't believe he was pushing Sandburg like this, and he was sure the kid would hold it over him for years; it was bound to bite him in the ass the next time he didn't want to talk about feelings. But this was too important to let slide.

"The thing is, it's nothing traumatic; I mean, not really. I'm in a dark cave, feeling my way forward, trying to find the way out. I don't know how I got there, and I haven't been hurt. Mostly I'm hoping you guys are looking for me, and that you'll find me before anything bad happens. You would, wouldn't you?" His voice seemed smaller, more hesitant on that last question.

"Damn right we would, Chief," Jim assured him. "But that's it? No lurking henchmen, no ticking bomb to make things more interesting?"

"That's it. Gotta admit, I don't see how it matches up with school anxiety... but neither does it match up with any of your cases. All I can figure is, it's existential angst, and all I can do is get my shit together and hope it goes away."

"What shit?" Jim asked gently. "School has never bothered you before, and you've handled the stresses at the PD pretty damn well, especially since you're a civilian. So what's changed?"

Blair shrugged, unable or unwilling to delve further.

"You think it might be Incacha's death, and Janet's? You weren't responsible for either of them, you know."

"Maybe not Incacha's," Blair objected, "but Janet wouldn't have been involved if I hadn't asked her to look for information. That sure as hell feels like I was responsible."

"Didn't you say Janet was an environmentalist from way back?" Blair still refused to meet Jim's eyes, but nodded agreement. "In effect, she was a warrior for the planet, fighting for a cause she believed in. Unfortunately, warriors are sometimes killed, no matter how righteous their cause. It was Janet's bad luck that she was unknowingly involved with enemy forces who lied and subverted her work. But she managed to discover and pass on the information that led to their defeat before they killed her. They killed her, not you." Jim hesitated, then continued. "If she could have chosen, don't you think she might have decided to go down fighting for the planet -- and succeeding in that one aspect? I know it's not much comfort, Chief, but her death was not meaningless. That may be the best legacy that any person can leave."

Blair's gaze was unseeing as he turned his coffee mug around and around. "I know you're right," he almost whispered, "but it doesn't make it any easier to accept."

"Not now," Jim acknowledged. "But later, when the pain isn't so sharp, it'll help."

Blair threw Jim a challenging look. "Has it helped you?"

"Not always; I've seen too many men die uselessly, from back-stabbing deceit. But sometimes, when I knew and they knew their deaths moved the world one step closer to justice... yeah, it helps."

"I hear you, man, and maybe it'll help later; thanks for trying." Blair held Jim's gaze for a moment, then pushed back from the table. "But right now, not so much. I think I'll go for a walk." He grabbed his jacket from the hook and slipped out the door.

Jim sighed as he rose to clear the table and wash the dishes. At least Blair had listened, so the conversation hadn't been a complete bust. Only time would tell if he had actually helped.




Finally! He seemed to be getting somewhere. He didn't know where, yet, and wasn't even sure he could count it as 'progress'. But the ambient light was a little stronger, and there was a definite current of air blowing in his face. He just hoped, when he found the source, it wouldn't be a little rabbit-sized hole that he'd have to dig his way out.

But Jim had said he'd find him, so if he needed to dig, at least he'd have help. He just wished the big guy would hurry up; he'd been walking for hours, and he sure was getting tired. But he'd be damned if he'd let his friends find him sitting on his ass, pathetically waiting for rescue like some Victorian damsel in distress. He could walk for a while longer before he had to rest.

But the human body can only be pushed so far. Eventually, his weary legs insisted that he stop walking, or they'd simply refuse to carry him. Well, even the Lord, in every creation story that he knew of, had rested after his labors. So, okay; just for a little while. He stopped where he was -- one piece of rocky ground was no more or less comfortable than the next -- and eased down, leaning his back against the wall.

Now that he wasn't moving, the breeze seemed to be strengthening, which made no sense; if he wasn't moving into it, he shouldn't feel it as strongly. But there it was, taunting him for stopping. Stupid breeze; if it wanted him so badly, it could make itself solid and float him out of here.

If it wasn't going to help, he wished it'd shut up so he could maybe take a little nap. But no, it just kept talking. "You cannot stay there; come to us, young shaman." Well, duh! He was
trying to get out; it wasn't like he needed any encouragement. "There is much you need to know, to protect your sentinel and keep him safe." Oh, like that was a newsflash! Why else was he studying every obscure source he could get his hands on? But it wasn't like he could learn this stuff overnight. The universe -- and Jim -- would just have to be patient.

"Your books do not tell the whole story; such secrets were not shared with those who could not understand, or who would put them in books to be mocked by those with limited imagination. You must come to speak to us in person, and come soon; to wait too long is to risk your full development as a shaman. Incacha gave you a great gift, but it cannot be used effectively if the user lacks full knowledge. Come to us, young shaman. Come soon."

Great. When your hallucinations started talking to you, it was time to get moving again. He forced himself to his feet and once again headed into the breeze, still keeping one hand on the wall, and testing every step before he transferred his weight to the forward foot. Hell of a way to travel, but at least the need for concentration kept the hallucinations quiet.





A few days later, Jim turned off the evening news, stood and stretched. "Time for all hardworking cops and anthropologists to be in bed," he announced. "You planning on closing up shop any time soon?"

"Yeah, in a little while," Blair muttered. "I just want to finish this section first." He was hunched over the kitchen table with a thick book open in front of him, reading intently. Occasionally he scribbled notes on the pad by his elbow, or reached for one of the many other books piled around him to make a comparison.

As far as Jim could tell, dropping a class hadn't made any difference in Blair's study-load; if anything, it seemed to have increased. Case in point: he'd been working on this project, whatever it was, for the past four evenings, and every spare minute in the day -- and Jim didn't even know what it was.

But the PD gave him a paycheck on the assumption that he was a detective; might as well put those skills to use. Jim casually passed by the table, glancing at the covers of some of the books.

The common theme was immediately evident, with titles such as, The Way of the Shaman, Principles of Shamanism, Secrets of Shamanism: Tapping the Spirit Power Within You, Shaman in a 9 to 5 World... and there were eight more books scattered across the table. Jim shook his head; couldn't the kid find anything real to study? "Geeze, Sandburg, wouldn't it be easier to read the Cliff notes, or find something like Shamanism for Dummies? Seems like you're losing a lot of sleep for something that's not even in your course curriculum."

Blair snorted, without looking up from the page. "The library actually has a copy of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Shamanism. It shouldn't surprise you that it doesn't have the depth needed for an honest study of the subject. This is serious stuff; I'm not just playing around because I have nothing better to do."

Oh, shit. Jim had been worried about something like this; Blair tackled everything with a hundred and ten percent effort, often ignoring food and sleep until he'd completed the project to his satisfaction, or until he collapsed from exhaustion. The question was, would he be able to knock some sense into the kid's head?

Jim sat across the table. "Sandburg," he said firmly, "look at me." It took a moment, but the command finally penetrated his concentration, and Blair raised his head.

"Look," Jim said, "I know Incacha's death hit you hard, and I really appreciate that. He was a good man, and I think I'd be pissed if you just brushed it off. But when he passed the way of the shaman to you, I think he just wanted you to watch out for me; he didn't expect you to change your whole way of life. And you're already doing a great job of looking out for me, and helping me with this sentinel stuff. All this..." he gestured to the stacks of books, "...just isn't necessary."

Blair took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "I think it is necessary, Jim; even vital." He shook his head when Jim started to protest. "No, see, you're looking at it through Western eyes; you see it as just words that may or may not make a person feel better, but don't mean anything. But when you were with the Chopec, didn't you see Incacha do things that seemed inexplicable if he wasn't tapping into some kind of power?"

Jim shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "You know I don't remember much from that time, Chief. But what I do remember..." He paused. "Well, suggestion and community belief can go a long way toward swaying people's minds. And since I was part of the community, I wasn't immune."

"And that's why the Western mind has such a hard time dealing with shamanism, or alternate spiritualities of any type; our whole culture has taught us that if something isn't solid and tangible, it's not 'real'. We're very good at explaining away anything that falls outside our expectations. But, what -- maybe one-quarter of the world? -- can't all be wrong, or hallucinating, or subscribing to 'primitive superstition'. There's a truth and a reality there, but it's hidden unless someone specifically seeks it out. I'm sure of it; I've caught glimpses of it once or twice. But I need to be able to access it more easily, more completely."

"But why, Chief? Like I said, you're doing a good job of helping me with this sentinel thing. I know I don't often say it, but I can't imagine doing it without you; you've helped me get a real handle on my senses, and you always come up with an answer when we need it. I don't see how knowing some extra mumbo-jumbo will make any difference."

Blair shook his head with a soft snort. "Jim, we're like a mismatched pair in a three-legged race, and one of us is using a crutch, besides. We're limping along at half-speed, when we should be winning the hundred-yard dash. My last-minute half-assed suggestions have worked out so far... but what happens when they don't? My job is to make things so easy for you that your senses function as naturally as breathing, and with as little thought or stress. We're not even close to that, and I don't know how to get us there. So that's what these are for." He slapped the open book in front of him. "It'll take a lot of searching, and study, but the answers are in here. Or if not, I'll find other books that will show me the way. Besides..." Blair was rubbing his hand over the spot where Incacha had once clasped his arm with a bloody hand; Jim suspected he wasn't even aware of the gesture, or what it signified. "...however he meant it, it was Incacha's wish that I learn the way of the shaman. His dying wish. If I don't at least try, it's like throwing it back in his face. I can't do that."

Jim released a gust of air; what the hell could he say to that? Even though he thought nothing would come of it, he suspected that it would break something in Sandburg if he insisted that he abandon his research. And, really, studying was second nature to Blair; the worst that could happen was that he'd lose a little sleep.

"Okay, buddy," he acknowledged. "It obviously means a lot, and I don't want to put barriers in the way of anything that's important to you. Just remember -- you can't learn it all overnight, and we are managing pretty good. So give yourself some time, and don't forget to eat and sleep, or your sentinel is going to come down 'blessed protector' all over your ass!" The scowl was feigned, but the threat was serious; he hoped Sandburg recognized that.

Apparently, he did. "Thanks, Jim," he said with a smile. "I promise. Look --" he flipped the pages to the end of the chapter, "only four more pages to go. Then I'll hit the sack. Maybe you should hurry to fall asleep first; then my snoring won't keep you awake."

"Sandburg, I slept in Army barracks; no way your puny snores will disturb my sleep." He aimed a head-swat, which Blair easily ducked. "But if I don't hear them inside of thirty minutes, I'll come down and march you into bed myself."

"Sir! Yes, sir!"

Blair had the words right, although the intonation and twinkle in his eye was all wrong. But, good enough; Jim headed up the stairs. He had just reached the top when sentinel hearing easily picked up the softly-spoken, "Good night, Jim. And, thanks."




Thank every God, Goddess, or Deity he'd ever heard named; there was now enough light for him to actually see where he was going. As he'd suspected, he was in a kind of cave-tunnel, though it wasn't nearly as large as he'd first thought. The opposite wall was just a little over an arm's-length away, though he was sure he'd crawled farther that before he'd found his 'guiding' wall. Maybe the passage had narrowed as he'd traveled, or maybe his perceptions had been way out of whack. And the ceiling was only a few inches above his head; if he was as tall as Jim, he'd have given himself a few good knocks during his journey.

He paused for a few moments as he contemplated this unexpected and unexplained trip. As tedious as the journey had been, it had been remarkably easy. The floor had been free of abrupt changes in level or stray boulders that might have tripped him, and his guiding hand on the wall had not encountered any spaces marking side-tunnels. He wasn't sure how he'd have handled that; a side tunnel might have led to an easier way out, or farther from eventual rescue. Frankly, he was glad he hadn't had to make the choice.

Although, come to think of it... this whole setup was rather like a cattle chute, urging him to move in only one direction. If he'd initially chosen the other, would he have met some kind of obstacle that would have forced him to turn around? Or would the venue he was heading toward simply have been moved to the other end of this long, boring tunnel?

He'd suspected some kind of foul play when he'd first awakened -- seemed like half the bad guys in Cascade expected to attack Jim through his partner -- but it was now obvious that this was some kind of shamanic dream-walk. He wouldn't be getting any help from Jim or their friends from the PD. No, someOne or someThing had set him on this journey through an otherworldly plane, and he'd have to complete the requirements -- whatever they were -- before he'd find out what was going on.

No help for it; he started walking forward again, one foot in front of the other, over and over again. At least the increased light let him give his abused fingertips a rest from feeling along the wall, and he could walk more normally, instead of using his earlier feel-and-step method. He wished he'd get there soon -- wherever 'there' would be -- so he could get this over. On the other hand, this incessant walking was probably part of the test, to see if he had the intestinal fortitude to keep going.
'Like the damn Energizer bunny,' he thought, wryly. But all the books insisted that shamanic tests could be quite strenuous; he'd be lucky indeed if this was all he had to do. Whatever; he was determined not to let down Incacha... or Jim.

So, he kept walking.





Jim glanced across the truck at his sleeping partner. Blair had brought one of his shaman books to study while they were on stakeout, but had drifted off barely thirty minutes into the watch. Based on his rapid eye movements and elevated heartbeat, the kid was dreaming again, but at least it didn't seem as stressful as the first few nights; he wasn't whimpering, or tossing and turning.

But he was going to wake up with a hell of a crick in his neck, with his head leaning against the window like it was. Besides, a sleeping head against a window would scream 'cop stakeout' to any suspicious watchers. Jim reached across and pulled Blair sideways, until his torso was stretched out across the seat and his head was pillowed on Jim's thigh. Much better; Sandburg would be more comfortable, the feeling of his guide's body resting against his would help him keep his senses grounded, and any observers would simply see a man waiting impatiently for a delayed co-rider.

Almost unconsciously, Jim stroked Sandburg's head as he watched the house halfway down the block. This shamanism study thing was riding the kid hard. Although he was getting a decent amount of sleep -- Jim made sure of it, pointing out that Blair couldn't function effectively as his guide if he was too tired -- it didn't seem to be doing a lot of good. The kid had developed permanent bags under his eyes, and his enthusiastic bounce was maybe ten percent of normal. So far, no one else seemed to have noticed it. Sandburg had demonstrated that he was quite a talented actor -- or maybe it was just another method of 'obfuscation' -- and he managed to present something close to his normal demeanor at the PD and, presumably, at the university.

But once they were safe in the loft, Sandburg seemed like a completely different person -- withdrawn and depressed, and almost desperate. Apparently, he wasn't finding what he hoped / wanted / needed in his shaman books and, increasingly, he seemed to blame himself. Jim had talked with every reasoned argument he could think of, pointing out that, if Blair couldn't find what he was searching for, it either didn't exist or it wasn't very important. Every time, Sandburg listened politely, nodded, then drove himself to further efforts.

As the days and weeks passed, Jim was growing increasingly uneasy. Sandburg seemed to be... not drifting away, exactly, but developing a kind of -- space, like a no-man's-land -- between him and the rest of the world. Especially between him and his sentinel. This quest for shamanic understanding seemed so all-encompassing; what would Sandburg do if he couldn't find the answers here in Cascade? Surely he wouldn't leave; he had obligations to the university and to his sentinel, and Blair took his obligations seriously.

But if he couldn't find what he needed here, and he couldn't go... then what? Would some inner part of Sandburg just... shrivel away? If that happened, would Jim still have his best friend -- or just a walking, breathing shadow of the essence of the man he once was?

Jim hoped like hell it wouldn't come to that, but he felt basically helpless. All he could offer in support was to ply his friend with regular, nourishing meals and insist on at least seven hours of sleep per night, which was two more than Sandburg often allowed himself. Maybe it would be enough; Blair would find what he needed, and everything would go back to normal.

Maybe.




Jim stepped through the door to find Sandburg snuffing his candles, and moving the furniture back into its normal positions. He said nothing; Blair had been leaving the PD early two or three times a week to work in an hour or two of meditation. Jim couldn't tell if it was helping, and Blair was being unusually reticent. Still, it was unlikely to hurt anything -- Sandburg was so familiar with meditation that he could probably do it standing on his head, with his hands tied behind his back. Jim just crossed his fingers that his buddy would get some benefit from it, and carefully avoided rocking the boat.

"The Jags are playing tonight, Chief. What d'ya say we order in a pizza, watch the game, and make an easy night of it? No studying for you, no case-files for me; just two friends kicking back and relaxing. I could sure use a break, and I think you could, too."

Blair considered the proposition, then gave a half-shrug and a nod. "Sure, man. You're right; one evening won't make a difference, and I could use a bit of downtime." He headed toward the phone. "Half meat-lover's, half vegetarian?"

Jim shook his head with a grin. "Y'know, Chief, Tony tells me you're the only customer that ever orders that combination, and they always have to explain it to the new workers. I don't know how you get away with it."

"I keep telling you, man; pleasant conversation works better than caveman grunting every time. One of these days, maybe you'll give it a try; you'll be amazed at the results."

"Why bother, when I have you to run interference? You cajole, I growl, and together we cover all the bases. Works for me."

"Just wait; one of these days you'll wish you knew the other half of the equation." Blair turned his attention to the phone. "Tony? It's Blair. We'll have the usual, please, with an extra order of garlic breadsticks?" Jim nodded to his raised eyebrow. "Yeah, that'll do it; thanks, Tony."

Blair headed into the kitchen. "Thirty minutes. You want to shower while I make the salad?"

"Nice to know all that studying hasn't addled your brain, Chief. I'll be out in twenty." Jim headed up the stairs, looking forward to spending some actual 'quality' time with his friend once again.




The change in light was so gradual that, when he finally noticed it, he realized he'd been seeing it for some time. There was a flickering ahead, like a fire of some kind. And, now that he was paying attention, the breeze blowing into his face carried the scent of woodsmoke.

He hesitated. From ancient times, fire had been one of humanity's greatest friends -- and one of its deadliest enemies. Fire provided warmth, a way to cook food, and protection from wild animals. But fire was also a great destroyer of forests, homes -- and people. Was the firelight ahead a welcoming beacon, or a warning to stay away?

The idea of retracing his steps -- repeating hours of walking on the slim possibility of finding a different way out -- made him cringe, but maybe it would be safer. But when he turned to face the other direction, he saw only an impenetrable darkness. It made no sense; he'd just traveled that area; the ambient light had been dim, but enough to see where he was walking. Now, it was as if a heavy curtain of blackness had been drawn across the tunnel.

It had to be an illusion... not that everything he was doing wasn't also an illusion. At least, that was his current working hypothesis; illusion or shaman-dream, there seemed to be little difference. But would the darkness-illusion hold up under a test, or dissipate into whatever was 'normal' for this realm?

Only one way to find out. He turned and headed away from the flickering light, back the way he had come. Within ten steps, he was traveling through a darkness so intense he might as well have been struck blind. But maybe it was a relatively narrow phenomenon, and he could pass through into the lighted area again. With fingertips once more brushing the wall, he continued along his backward path for another twenty-five steps.

No change; obviously, he was meant to keep heading toward the firelight. Even if he wanted to ignore that implicit command, he couldn't imagine hours of walking through this stygian darkness; at least he had
some light when he traveled in the approved direction, even though it compared unfavorably to your average sixty-watt bulb. And, if he did force the issue and tried to continue along the backward path, might he encounter some more physical obstacle to prevent it? Somehow, he suspected Whoever was running this show might provide just such a definite 'disincentive'.

With a shrug, he reminded himself that shamanic dreams weren't supposed to particularly easy, or even make much sense, and turned back toward his original direction. Only five steps later, he could once again see; the ambient light allowed him to walk freely, with the flickering firelight his presumed goal. He just hoped he wouldn't be required to walk
through the fire, or something equally painful, to prove his worthiness.




Jim watched Blair pick listlessly at his perfectly good dinner -- Swedish meatballs over whole-grain noodles, and the meat a Sandburg-approved blend of 40% beef and 60% turkey -- and decided it was time to broach the subject again. The kid had acquired ever-more esoteric books on shamanism, searching the online used booksellers, and obtaining others through inter-library loan. He was, apparently, still not finding the answers to his questions, and the strain was becoming ever more obvious. He had developed an unhealthy pallor, as if he'd been too long away from the sun, and the reduction in his general enthusiasm was being noticed even at the PD. Just yesterday, Joel had pulled Jim aside to ask if Blair was sick, and to suggest a couple of 'surefire home remedies' and 'maybe some concoctions from the health-food store'.

As soon as dinner was finished and the dishes washed, Jim stopped Blair as he started to pull out his stack of shamanism books. "Chief, let that go for a few minutes; we need to talk."

Blair looked puzzled, but had no energy to question or protest. "Sure, Jim." He waited docilely while Jim grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge, followed his friend into the living room, then stood in the middle of the room, seemingly at a loss of what to do next.

"Sit, Sandburg," Jim ordered, and handed him a beer as he did so. Blair took the beer, but held it as if he didn't know what to do with it.

Jim sighed. "Chief, I don't know how to say this, except to just dump it out there. I'm worried about you -- hell, even Joel and Simon have noticed it; you're falling apart in front of our eyes.

"Excuse me?" The direct challenge stirred a response. "I back you up when you need it, I teach, I carry my own classes, and I study. A certain overprotective sentinel is making sure I eat well -- thanks for that, by the way -- and I'm getting more sleep than I have since I was twelve. How the hell do you get 'falling apart' out of that?"

"Have you actually seen yourself in a mirror lately? Your skin tones look like you've spent a month in a dungeon, the bags under your eyes have their own bags, and you've lost at least ten pounds. This shamanism thing is doing something to you, Chief, and it isn't good. I know it's important to you, but not at the expense of your health. I was thinking, maybe you could put it off until next summer; maybe having no classes at the same time would... I don't know, make it easier for you to concentrate, or make connections, or something."

Blair ran his fingers through his hair as he struggled to find a way to explain it to Jim. "I appreciate your concern, man, I really do. But... I don't think they'll let me wait."

Oh, crap. Somewhere deep down, he'd been afraid that this was turning into some spirit-world shit. He'd hoped that his previous exposure to a spirit animal -- and a spirit shaman that wore his face and gave inscrutable advice -- would be enough for one lifetime. "Who won't let you wait, Chief?"

"I don't know?" The uncertainty was clearly evident in Blair's voice and his eyes, as he gazed at Jim, displayed... sheer misery.

That look stopped Jim's automatic retort. He carefully evaluated Sandburg's demeanor -- pretty damn shaky, in his estimation -- and spoke carefully, gently.

"Then what's giving you that impression, Chief? I'm sure you have some reason for what you're feeling."

Blair shrugged a shoulder and lowered his gaze to his hands, worrying at a hangnail.

"I know you're still not sleeping well; is it the dreams?"

Blair's head dipped lower, as he found another ragged nail to focus on.

"Com'on, Sandburg. I promise I won't laugh; it can't be any stranger than what I faced when we were in Peru to rescue Simon."

In a voice barely above a whisper, Blair said, "I don't know 'cause I haven't got there yet."

"Still not getting the picture, buddy."

Blair rose from the couch and crossed to stare unseeingly out the balcony doors. "You're right; it's the dreams. I'm in a kind of cave-tunnel, and I've been walking for... days, I guess. Now I'm seeing firelight flickering ahead of me, but it's a still a long way away. I figure I'll learn something when I get there... but I really don't know. But I do know it's important, that I'm supposed to do this."

"And you know this because...?"

"Because I wasn't sure about the fire. But when I turned back, I walked into blackness I couldn't get out of. Then when I went toward the fire, it was light again."

Jim hesitated. "Blair, I swear I'm not... well, maybe I am. What makes you think this dream is anything more than the hodgepodge our brains usually toss at us? Especially since you've been reading all those shamanism books, it would probably affect your dreams. It doesn't necessarily mean anything."

Blair finally turned to face Jim, as if in challenge, though he maintained the distance between them. "It has to mean something! I've been having the same dream too many nights, and it's progressive. And there's a... a feeling; I'm being guided. And there's the whole shamanic idea of overcoming obstacles before you're allowed to know a purpose, or an answer." Blair turned and faced Jim, eyes haunted. "I mean, it's not like I can stop; the dreams come whether I want them or not. All I can do is see them through to the end, and hope I learn something."

"And I suppose your meditation has been showing you the same thing?"

"Yep; I pick up from wherever I was the last time I slept. I've been walking a long time, man, and still no indication when I'll get to the end. But I'm sure I'll get there eventually; it's all part of the process."

Jim controlled the urge to heave his beer bottle against the wall. It wouldn't do a bit of good, and he'd be the one cleaning it up. "Then what can we do, Sandburg? I can't believe Incacha would expect the road to shamanism to destroy your health."

"Jim, I'm not sleeping great and I've lost a few pounds; big deal! It's not like I'm going to keel over tomorrow. I mean, be realistic; they can't induct a new shaman into the fold -- assuming that's their intention -- if they let me die. Hell, I've had worse every year at finals time, just not so... linear."

"And if it is a delusion?" Jim challenged. "How do I know if or when I should get you some psychiatric help?"

"Fair question," Blair acknowledged. He pondered for a few moments. "How about this? As long as I can function normally -- taking care of my classes at the university and backing you up in the field -- we let this play out and see what happens. If I become... withdrawn, or unable to meet my ordinary commitments... then you can get me into some quiet funny-ward, and let the doctors try to fix me. But I honestly don't think it'll come to that."

Jim considered the proposal. Sandburg was right; it wasn't like he could turn off the dreams like shutting off a hose. And -- he'd trusted Incacha in life. Surely he could trust Incacha in death, as well. His former shaman wouldn't let his new, budding shaman, come to any harm.

"Okay," he agreed. "But I want a new schedule. After your schoolwork, no more than two hours a night studying the shamanism; it may take a little longer to finish, but it'll ease some of the stress you're putting on yourself. And I expect you to eat when I feed you, not push the food around on your plate. I know fasting is sometimes a component of certain ceremonies, but long-term starvation isn't. If you're going to do this, you need to stay at the top of your game, not barely staggering through."

Blair's shoulders dropped with the sudden release of tension. Jim had listened and, more importantly, believed. Or was at least willing to believe that Blair believed. He crossed to sit back down on the couch and took a hefty swallow of his abandoned beer. A bit warm, now, but it really hit the spot. He turned his head to catch and hold Jim's eyes.

"You got it, big guy. I'll be a little less obsessive about the shamanism, and a little more rational about the daily routine." He raised his bottle toward Jim. "Deal?"

It wasn't all he'd hoped for, but more than he'd expected. Jim raised his bottle to meet Blair's with an audible ~clink~. "Deal."




The firelight now filled the tunnel as he walked forward, bright enough to throw a shadow behind him; he was getting very close. Finally, the passage narrowed even further, ending in an arched opening to a separate cave that seemed the source of the firelight. As he passed through the archway, he found himself in a circular area, large enough that shifting shadows formed beyond the reach of the available light. A gathering of people sat around a well-built fire in the middle of the room.

He paused, evaluating the group that had turned his way as he'd entered the chamber. Truthfully, he was a little unnerved by the number of people that faced him. He'd expected... well, probably Incacha, and maybe one or two of his fellow shamans from other tribes near his. Sitting down with two or three people for a chat -- even a chat that was likely to turn 'mystical' and take him into areas he didn't fully understand -- seemed reasonable. He'd long since concluded that the purpose of this dream-journey was for someone to pass on knowledge that he needed.

But he hadn't expected to be facing over a dozen shamans who, judging by their attire and decorations, represented a variety of cultures across the world. Five of them were women, which made sense; shamans had to be in touch with their inner selves to be able to connect easily to the spirit world, and women were generally very good at that. However, he was surprised by the lack of 'age' in the group. There were a few whose weathered faces and wrinkles showed the passage of many years, but most appeared to be no older than mid 30's to late 40's, and a couple seemed to have reached adulthood only recently. Of course, Incacha hadn't been old when they'd met, so he should have known better. And he knew that many shamans were called to their gift as children or teens so that, although they studied for many years, they were still young when they formally embraced their responsibilities. But, somehow, he'd always pictured a shaman as an elderly man, who'd already lived a long life.

You're an idiot! he told himself sternly. Toss your stupid expectations in the trash, and don't let out even a hint that you thought they'd all be doddering ancients. But this was a spirit-plane. They might already know his thoughts. He just hoped they'd forgive him, if he proved himself willing to listen and learn.

They seemed to be waiting for him to step forward; perhaps it was another test, to forge onward against uncertainty. But he felt frozen. You could tell these men and women were beyond 'ordinary' just by looking at them. Several had colorful feathered headdresses, and others wore decorations of beads, shells, and animal teeth. Many had face and body paint or tattoos, although some dressed in colorful, flowing robes dyed with intricate designs. When he looked down at himself -- gray T-shirt covered with red-and-black plaid overshirt, and faded jeans -- he hardly felt like he could fit in the group. Maybe his earrings and the ankh necklace would indicate a spiritual inclination but, somehow, he doubted they'd carry much weight.

The biggest hangup, though, was that each and every one of them was accompanied by a spirit animal, and some of those were decidedly intimidating. Jim had told him about his black panther, which was hardly a pussycat, but he himself had never seen the animal. Somehow, he'd sort of assumed that was a sentinel thing. Since he'd never seen a sign of a spirit animal for himself, he'd kind of thought that maybe a spirit animal took care of a sentinel and guide together. Now, it seemed that shamans were also attached to spirit animals, and he uneasily regarded a virtual zoo. The eagle, the snake, the dingo, and the alligator were dangerous species; although he hesitated to be near them, a sentinel or shaman might well require the strength of such powerful spirits. But some seemed far less suited to protection; how much help could be gained from a rabbit, a squirrel, or a skunk? A skunk? Obviously, he had to do some serious research about the strengths of spirit animals.

Still more surprising were some of the pairings. Incacha carried the eagle on his shoulder, which seemed appropriate, but the huge cougar rested his head on the lap of the young Asian woman, while a very large, muscular, tattooed man had a lizard resting on his arm. The buffalo seemed well-matched to the Native American, but the dragonfly looked odd sitting on the head of a man he thought was indigenous to the Brazilian rain forest. He supposed when he learned more, it would all make sense.

But, he noticed uneasily, every shaman seemed to have an spirit-animal match. He didn't see any unattached animals, so it was unlikely that one was his and, though he tried to ignore the stab of jealously, he couldn't help feeling left out. But maybe he'd get a spirit animal when he finished his shaman lessons. He hoped so; it kind of rankled that Jim had one and he didn't.

Well, standing here wouldn't get anything accomplished. He took a deep breath and stepped forward, moving into the open space that seemed to have been left for him in the circle. Gracefully, he lowered himself to sit cross-legged on the ground, matching their positions. Then, he waited. As the most junior person present -- any way you wanted to look at it -- it was not his place to begin the proceedings.

The silence continued so long that Blair had to resist the urge to suggest a round of 'Kumbayah'. He also squashed the unlikely notion that the Native American would start to pass around a peace pipe. Patient waiting was often part of a test; he settled himself more comfortably, and tried to blank his mind of anything other than the moment.

Finally one of the women -- elderly, Hawaiian, he thought -- opened the conversation. "We have met to judge if this young haoli is a suitable guide for Incacha's brother Enqueri."

"I judged him suitable," Incacha asserted. "I read his heart; I would not have passed the way of the shaman to him had I found him unable to meet the responsibility."

"You were dying," rumbled a large man from one of the African nations, though he wasn't sure which. "Perhaps the urgency of the situation caused your examination to be less thorough than it might otherwise have been."

Shit, this was his greatest fear playing out in front of him. What would he do if they decreed he wasn't a suitable guide, and insisted he leave Jim? What would
Jim do? Somehow, he thought, 'Sorry, buddy, the spirit shamans said I'm no good for you,' wouldn't go over very well.

"The situation was urgent," agreed the young Asian woman. "But the question must be asked -- is there any other person connected to Enqueri who has the personal qualities that might induce him or her to become a guide? Furthermore, Incacha has told us that Enqueri does not extend friendship or trust easily. Since he considers this young one to be his guide, would he be likely to accept another candidate, even if that one has better qualifications?"

"He would not," Incacha insisted. "Enqueri is a stubborn man; if this turiku left him, he would refuse any other guide."

Little brother? Wow, Incacha thought more of him that he'd suspected. But thank goodness Jim's former shaman agreed with his own assessment; splitting up him and Jim would be disastrous for his sentinel. If these guys would just tell him what he needed to do, they could finish this meeting and he'd get on with the program.

"An open heart and an honorable mind are the most important aspects of becoming a worthy shaman and guide." That shaman looked Scandinavian, with a polar bear sitting behind him. "The other qualifications can be learned -- if the student is willing to do so." The man was looking directly at him, with a severe expression on his face.

He nodded his agreement, and started to speak, but Incacha interrupted him. "Your dreams spoke truth, turiku; your books cannot teach you what you need to know. We recognized that you had to try, to allow you to discover the futility of trying to learn the ways of a shaman from cold books. Now that you understand, you will believe us when we tell that you must undertake a journey of learning. You must seek out and study directly at the feet of shamans who can teach and guide you."

"Shamans?" he asked, keeping his tone deferential. "Is there not one who can give me all the instruction I need?" If he could work with just one person, he wouldn't have to leave Jim alone too long.

"Enqueri is the strongest sentinel in many generations. Through him, when the time is right, you will draw other sentinels and guides to you, so that they may also learn and go forth. You will need all the knowledge you can gain, from as many sources as you can find. This will not be possible over a few days or a few weeks, turiku; you must commit to it fully, for as long as it takes, or face failure."

His mouth was dry, and his heart pounded. "I can't leave Jim alone for such a length of time; he still needs me to help manage his senses. How can I make a journey that will help me, if I know it's going to hurt Jim?"

"The sentinel must travel with the guide." The young Asian woman sounded eminently practical, though her cougar growled softly. "The sentinel must understand what the guide is learning, and will also have some lessons of his own to learn. Together, you will gain a connection and strength that you could not achieve separately."

"But Jim's a policeman -- a warrior for the city," he objected. "He can't just walk away from his responsibilities of protection. I don't think I could even talk him into it. And... I also have obligations I must meet in the outside world. The kind of journey you're talking about -- it's just not possible at this time."

"You must find a way; otherwise the final connection will not be made, and sentinels and guides who cannot find their way to you will suffer, and never reach their potential. This is important, turiku. If you must discharge your outside obligations, do so quickly; the journey must begin before the start of the new year, or it will not be successful. Speak to Enqueri; as stubborn as he is, he does not wish you harm. Working together to accomplish your commitments will be beneficial to both of you, and the first step on your journey of learning."

Incacha sounded so certain. Personally, he wasn't convinced that Jim would be -- considering his job, that he
could be -- so accommodating. But it looked like he'd have to try, or face being drummed out of the brotherhood before he even got started.

He bowed his head, then straightened and faced the gathered shamans directly. "I hear your words, and I will do all that I can to follow your instructions. I thank you for your guidance; I wouldn't want Jim to suffer because of my inadequacies."

"Well said, young shaman." The Hawaiian shaman, as well as the others, seemed to approve. "But words must be followed by actions; we will be watching." Then, one by one, the assembled shamans just... weren't there, and only Incacha remained seated by the fire.

"I chose correctly, turiku; you have a good heart and good instincts. Do not doubt yourself; you will do well."

"I'm gratified that you think so; I hope I don't disappoint you or Jim. But before you go, or I wake up, or whatever... I've been wondering."

Incacha gave permission for the question with an inclination of his head.

"When I finish this journey of learning -- will I get a spirit animal, too? I mean, is it, like, part of the graduation ceremony, or something?"

Incacha's smile was broad, and almost mischievous. "You have a spirit animal, turiku, one who is strong and wise. He will be watching, and guarding you on your journey. But it is not yet time for him to show himself to you. When he does, you will know him; he will be a source of strength to you, and a true companion to Enqueri's spirit animal."

Well, that was encouraging. He closed his eyes for a moment, cataloging animals in his mind. 'Strong and wise'; which one might it be?

When he opened his eyes, Incacha was gone. On the other side of the chamber was a large opening in the cave wall. Through it, he saw trees and grass, and the bright sunlight of the outside world. Apparently, this phase of his journey had finally ended. He wasn't certain that he could manage the next phase, but he'd promised to try. He stood, crossed the cave, and walked out into the sunlight.





Blair lay awake, staring upward into the darkness, thinking furiously. There had to be a way to learn 'all the knowledge he could gain', and still remain in Cascade. 'As many sources'... there were several Native American tribes in Washington and Oregon. If he could rearrange his schedule...

He was just spinning his wheels. Blair threw back the covers and turned on his desk-lamp, then pulled out the 'master TA class schedule' -- the one they all used to know who they could call on to cover a class -- and turned on his computer. He need research, hard facts to make realistic plans.

Fortunately, his Fridays were light -- one class at nine, followed by a two-hour block for office hours. Tom Casellas had been bitching about his Tuesday night class; his girlfriend had extra time on Tuesday afternoon and evening, but they couldn't take advantage of it. He could probably talk Tom into taking his Friday class in exchange for him taking the Tuesday evening class. Office hours were easy; he could put them anywhere in his schedule. Maybe early Tuesday; it would make for a long day, and he'd only be able to swing by the PD from about two to five in the afternoon. But if he saw Jim daily from Monday to Thursday, he could take off Thursday evening to visit the shaman of a nearby tribe, and be able to spend a solid three days with him or her, Friday to Sunday. Maybe every-other weekend. The schedule wouldn't be so grueling, and he might be able to talk Jim into coming with him sometimes. If 'the sentinel traveled with the guide' once a month, that should count for something.

Now, tribes in the area... Blair shook his head in self-disgust as he called up Google. He really should know this, but he'd always focused his attention further a-field. Well, he'd always told his students they needed to acquire a broad-based knowledge; he just hadn't opened his boundaries far enough, or opened them in the wrong direction, or something.

All right; without even leaving the state, he could visit six tribes -- Skokomish, Yakima, Tulalip, Shoalwater Bay, Upper Skaggit, and Puyallup. If he headed down to Oregon, there were the Paiute, Coquille, and Shoshone. And if he headed over the border into Canada, he could meet the Nlaka Pamux, Okanagan, Ktunaxa, Coast Salish, and Nuu-chah-nulth without having to spend too much time in traveling.

Of course, not every tribe's shaman would be willing to speak to an outsider. And some might be ready to speak in generalities, but too careful to discuss the secrets of sentinels and guides. Too bad Incacha hadn't given him some sort of code-word or secret signal he could use to convince the shamans that he was a legitimate seeker, rather than an amateur dabbler. But if one or two gave him their seal of approval, he supposed word would spread. If that were the case, later meetings might go more smoothly, with the shamans more inclined to speak freely.

Blair frowned at his notes as he tapped his pencil on the notepad. Somehow, he was pretty sure that working with shamans in this limited area of the Pacific northwest would not actually fulfill the spirit of the 'orders' he'd been given. Even if every shaman from a tribe on the list spoke freely and at length to teach him about sentinels and guides -- highly unlikely -- he was pretty sure it wouldn't meet the 'many sources' criterion; patterns of beliefs would probably be fairly similar in this relatively restricted area. And staying around here sure as hell wouldn't meet the 'journey' criterion. Could the weekend visits fulfill the 'before the new year' part of his instructions, and allow him to delay the actual 'journey' part till next summer? Maybe Jim would be willing to take three weeks off and travel with him.

He chewed a ragged cuticle as he considered and discarded more plans. He could hardly write letters to tribal shamans in the southwest and Mexico. No one would have any respect for one who asked intrusive questions on paper, without even the courtesy of a face-to-face meeting. And how could he even ask such questions on paper? If he got too specific about sentinels and guides, and the letter went astray and someone else read it... well, they might shrug and throw it in the trash, but it might also stir up a real hornet's nest.

Too bad he couldn't send a proxy... Blair's eyes widened, and he sat up straighter. That might work! Every anthro grad student in the country probably knew fifty percent of the others, from meeting and working on the same expeditions. Juanita Gonzales was at the University of Texas in El Paso, and she spent long holidays and the summers in Mexico with her grandparents; she'd be in a great position to visit some of the Mexican tribes. Pete Dalton was at the University of New Mexico, in Albuquerque, where he could easily visit the Teseque and Pojoaque tribes. He was pretty sure Chris Rosenberg was still at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces, easily within reach of the Apache tribes in the area, and the Cherokee, Comanche, and Wichita tribes in Texas.

He could probably convince them to talk to the shamans available in their respective areas; they'd be able to come up with some idea that could use as a research paper and, if they mixed in some of Blair's questions with their own, Blair would know which shamans would be most open to teaching him what he needed to know. It wasn't like his friends didn't already know he was doing his dissertation on sentinels; hell, he'd been talking about it for ten years. Having definite destinations, rather than just wandering, would make a summertime 'journey' more efficient.

Of course, that still left out huge numbers of the tribes available in the United States, not to mention Central America and middle or eastern Canada. But he couldn't do it all in one summer. He could tackle the northwest until May, then make plans to travel in the southwest during the summer, and tackle other regions -- the midwest, northeast, southeast, Canada, Central Mexico -- during successive summers. Offhand, he didn't know anyone who could act as an 'advance proxy' for him in those areas, but he was sure there were people he knew; he'd just have to do a little asking around to find out who was where.

Blair heaved a sigh as he felt a weight drop from his shoulders. This would work; he was sure of it. He might not be keeping to the letter of his instructions, but he was definitely upholding the spirit of 'many sources of teaching', all while allowing him and Jim to still be able to meet their respective obligations without too much disruption of their normal routines.

Okay, the letters to his fellow TAs -- and the questions he wanted them to pass on to any shamans they interviewed -- had to be perfectly clear and persuasive. Blair pulled his laptop forward and opened a new document. He'd work on it over several sessions, polishing it till it was just right, then copy and paste into an email. Now that he had a plan, there was no huge rush, but he wanted to get some of this stuff down while it was still fresh in his mind.

Hi, xxxx! How are you? Yeah, I know, it's been a while, but I have a huge favor to ask. I was hoping you could help me out with a bit of research, then pass it back my way. You know I'm still working on my sentinel dissertation, and I need --

Blair jumped, startled almost out of his skin as his door burst open with a sort of controlled violence and Jim's voice thundered, "Sandburg, for god's sake, it's three in the morning! I thought we agreed you'd keep this shaman stuff to regular hours, and get some decent sleep. I don't want to sound like your mother, but dammit, you've got to keep some perspective, and this doesn't qualify! Do I have to put that thing under my pillow for you to keep it turned off and sleep through the night?"




Jim lay awake, listening to Sandburg as his brain revved into high gear. He couldn't hear it directly, but he recognized the distinctive evidence -- the squeak of the chair as Sandburg sat at his desk, the scratch of pen across notepaper, the tapping of the laptop keys as he searched for something on the 'net. He wondered why; the kid had been conscientious about following their agreement from a couple of weeks ago; he'd been eating better, sleeping better, and seemed more like his former self. Even though the dreams had continued, they'd seemed less stressful, as though Sandburg had reached a kind of equilibrium, integrating them into his mental landscape. This sudden awakening and burst of activity was a new wrinkle and, therefore, suspicious by definition.

On the other hand... Sandburg really had been doing better. Maybe this was just a minor burp, and he'd get it out of his system and go back to bed. Unlikely; Sandburg on the trail of information was as single-minded as a bloodhound on the trail of an escaped con. But as often as he and the others in MC called him 'kid', Sandburg was a man, and responsible for regulating his own behavior. So... Jim would give him half an hour; if he wasn't back in bed by that time, he'd go down and read him the riot act. Accordingly, Jim set his internal time-sense to awaken him in thirty minutes, rolled over, and went back to sleep.

He awakened smoothly, and glared at the bedside clock. As expected, Sandburg was still working, and likely to keep it up until breakfast unless someone stopped him. Grunting in resignation, he pulled on a robe -- the nights were chilly, this time of the year -- and moved quietly down the steps. Surprise would go a long way toward breaking Blair's focus, which would make him more receptive to saving his work till morning. At least, it was a working theory; with Sandburg, you never really knew.

Accordingly, he threw open the bedroom door with a strongly audible 'snap'. "Sandburg, for god's sake, it's three in the morning!" Jim used his best drill-sergeant's bark to make his point. "I thought we agreed you'd keep this shaman stuff to regular hours, and get some decent sleep. I don't want to sound like your mother, but dammit, you've got to keep some perspective, and this doesn't qualify! Do I have to put that thing under my pillow for you to keep it turned off and sleep through the night?"

Sandburg jumped, and turned to blink hazily at him, as if coming back from another world -- which he probably was. "Actually, I don't think Naomi ever once told me when to go to bed," he said thoughtfully. "She would have considered it an intrusion into my personal autonomy."

Jim tried to rein in his temper; at times like this, Blair was as much under the influence as any addict -- and just as likely to wander into conversational tangents unless someone else took control. He sat on the edge of the bed, to avoid the appearance of looming, and tried to keep his voice reasonable.

"Look, buddy, remember our deal? You'd back off a bit on the shamanism stuff, and be a little more realistic about the daily routine. Do you really think that working half the night fulfills that agreement?"

"But that's changed, Jim! I reached the end of my dream-walk or vision-walk, or whatever it was, and I talked to Incacha and a bunch of other shamans, and now I know what I have to do." Eagerly, he poured it all out -- the stated requirements for a 'journey of learning', and his plans to break it up into weekend segments so as not to disrupt Jim's work at the PD, or his own work at the university, with the possibility of a longer journey during the summer. "I was hoping you could join me for part of it -- one of the shamans said the sentinel should accompany the guide. I thought maybe you could make one of the weekend trips with me every month, and maybe three weeks during the summer?" He turned hopeful eyes toward his sentinel, practically vibrating with the need for approval and affirmation... or at least acceptance.

Jim was torn between common-sense skepticism and the uneasy suspicion that, if Blair didn't follow his instructions the way they were meant, this whole sentinel-guide thing might fall down around their ears. He'd respected Incacha and -- despite his assertion that the shaman's powers had most likely been a combination of suggestion and community belief -- in his deepest heart, he was less certain of that conclusion.

"Y'know..." he started slowly, "I can see you've put a lot of thought into working around the restrictions of our jobs. But you're always telling us that we should think outside the box. You've got a little over two months till the end of the semester; couldn't you make arrangements to take the spring semester off for 'research purposes'? I mean, if you'd gone to Borneo, you'd have been out for a year. You could probably learn a lot from January to September, then take up school again for next fall's semester. And I have a lot of leave saved up; I could take a couple of weeks here and there to meet up with you."

Blair's eyes lit up for a moment, but then that brightness faded. "It would work for me, but what about you? I'd feel like I was falling down on the job, leaving you alone for eight months; a couple of weeks 'here and there' won't be enough to help you maintain stability with your senses. I'm afraid even three-day weekends might be pushing it, but I thought we could make it work if it was only twice a month." He gave a half-hearted shrug. "I figure it's worth trying, anyway; see how it goes down."

Unfortunately, Blair was probably right, Jim acknowledged to himself. Long-term separation from his guide -- say, six or eight weeks between meetings -- would undoubtedly play havoc with his senses. But surely, between the two of them, they could figure out some kind of viable answer. However, it didn't have to be done this instant. Now, if only he could convince Blair.

"Look, Chief, I respect what you're trying to do. I think it might be better if you modified your plans a little... but we've got time to work it out. You've still got better than two months to 'start your journey before the new year'. Right now, it's time to give your brain a rest, get back into bed, and get some sleep. It's hard enough to kick you out of bed in the morning when you've had the full allotment; I don't want to face the bear that you turn into when you're one-third below optimum snooze-time."

Blair's face split in a wide yawn, as if the reminder of the late hour was a direct hit to the sleep-center of his brain. "You're right, man," he agreed. "Tomorrow's another day, and things will probably fit together better after some decent sleep." He powered down the computer, turned off the desk lamp, and slipped back into bed. "Thanks for the words of wisdom, man; I really appreciate it. G'night."

"More like good morning, Chief; I'll see you in a couple of hours." He smiled as he closed the door gently behind him.




Jim sat at his desk with a file open in front of him, but it was simply a cover for his waffling thoughts. How much credence should he give this dream-vision thing of Sandburg's? On the one hand, after meeting the enigmatic spirit guide in Peru -- that morphed from a black panther to an entity that wore his own face, for god's sake -- it was hard to deny that spirit visions might be real. On the other hand, maybe they'd both been creating their own visions -- Jim, because he'd been worried about finding Simon and Darryl, and Blair, because he was worried about how Incacha's 'passing the way of the shaman' would affect him.

But ultimately, did it matter if the dream-vision was "real" if Sandburg believed it? Probably not; belief was a powerful thing. He'd seen people do some really crazy things, and other people do some really extraordinary things, when driven by sincere beliefs -- regardless of how the outer world judged those beliefs.

Okay, working hypothesis -- Blair sincerely believed in his dream-vision, and would react as it had been "real", so Jim would have to treat it the same way.

Wait... no, wrong hypothesis. If he simply went along with Sandburg's beliefs, that would imply that whatever measures Blair took in response to his visions wouldn't matter; if he was comfortable with his solutions, his psyche would be satisfied with whatever answers he found. But if the dream-vision had represented some kind of spiritual truth -- if some powerful Beings were watching and/or judging Sandburg's actions -- trying to fudge the rules could be dicey.

And, really, although religious beliefs took many forms, most of them had large areas of commonality. Didn't that mean that there was likely some kind of universal Truth that people were trying to access, however imperfectly?

So, better -- safer? -- hypothesis. If he considered the religious teachings of much of the world, the things he'd seen Incacha do, and the spirit guide who'd advised him when they went to rescue Simon and Darryl... it would be best if he believed in the dream-vision just as strongly as Sandburg did. But in that case, he didn't think it was a good idea for Blair to twist the meaning of his spirit-vision instructions. Whatever Gods there might be, they could sometimes get... surly... if their expectations were flouted. He wasn't sure they should put it to a test.

By that reasoning, the best course of action was to convince Sandburg to take a sabbatical from the university, and send him on his 'journey of learning' right after Christmas. But where did that leave him? Even after two years, he still needed Sandburg's help to manage these damn senses. Not every moment of every day, thankfully. For instance, he was usually able to maintain a pretty even keel with his senses when Sandburg was at the university. But there were still times when a sensory spike damn near crippled him; if Sandburg wasn't around to help, recovery was slow and painful.

And, now that he thought about it, he realized that he usually scheduled his fieldwork for times when Sandburg was away from the university, and able to travel with him. It hadn't been a conscious decision on his part but, looking back, it seemed he usually 'needed' to tackle his paperwork when Sandburg couldn't be at the PD. But, as soon as the kid showed up, that's when Jim 'needed' to get out and visit crime scenes or question witnesses. In other words, he'd been depending on Sandburg's backup with his senses most of the time -- on the order of ninety percent. The few times he had to work a scene without Sandburg, he made sure to take one of the other detectives with him. Maybe just having another person around, even if it wasn't Sandburg, helped him stay better-focused. Or maybe he simply didn't extend his senses as much when Sandburg wasn't around to cover his back. Whatever; his days of working without a partner were long past.

So, what would happen to him if Sandburg was out of his life for eight or nine months? The prospects looked... grim; unpleasant at best, and damned near unendurable at worst. He'd probably be okay if his senses automatically shut down when the guide left, but he had no control over that, and couldn't be certain it would happen. If they didn't shut down -- if he had to contend with his senses without Sandburg's help for that long a time -- he had the uneasy suspicion that he might not even survive if his senses went into near-constant spiking and overdrive. And it wouldn't be a pleasant death.

Well, according to Sandburg, the vision-shamans had insisted -- or at least strongly suggested -- that the sentinel should accompany the guide. It might not be so bad; if Sandburg was talking to shamans, they were likely to be away from cities, in more natural environments, which would give his senses some down-time. And if he got bored while Sandburg spent days discussing esoteric mumbo-jumbo with the local shaman, he could always pick up the occasional day-job.

But could he afford it? Jim turned to his computer and accessed his pay records and accumulated leave-time, then blinked in surprise. For years, he hadn't been using large portions of his allotted time off, but he hadn't realized that it now added up to five months! He could take five months leave with pay, and he'd always been frugal with his money. He could easily cover the next three months out of his savings, for him and Sandburg both.

And it might not even come to that. Eight months -- till the end of August -- was just an assumed outer time-limit, to allow Sandburg to be back at the university for the fall semester. He might learn all he needed to know by the beginning of May, for instance, or even April.

Hmm... A slow, broad smile grew on Jim's face. If Sandburg finished his 'lessons' early, they'd be off the clock, with no reason to come back any sooner than they'd planned. They could easily wander around the country, checking out prime surfing areas and fishing spots. The idea had an almost guilty attraction, like a little boy playing hooky from school. But why shouldn't he? He never had played hooky, and he was pretty sure Sandburg would tell him it was an American iconic rite-of-passage that everyone should experience at least once. And wasn't Sandburg always telling him that the sentinel should listen to the guide? So, he would -- and be sure to pack his fishing gear and surfboard when they took off.

Jim relaxed into his chair, relieved of a tension he hadn't noticed until it was gone. This decision felt... right. He just hoped he could make Sandburg see the sense of it.

Of course, Simon wouldn't be happy when he requested eight months' leave. Jim regarded the captain's closed door thoughtfully. In fact, he'd be pretty pissed. But it wasn't like Jim would be leaving him understaffed; Simon would have two months to find a replacement detective. He'd undoubtedly bluster loudly -- the captain rarely responded any other way -- but Jim knew the secret phrase. 'It's a Sentinel thing' -- guaranteed to make Simon clam up and accept whatever Jim or Blair suggested. It might seem unfair, but you really couldn't argue with the truth. It was a sentinel thing, and he did have to go with his guide.

Jim shrugged as he stood; might as well get the yelling over with now. He crossed the room, and knocked on the captain's door.




Blair seemed to levitate into MC at twelve-thirty, his excitement showing in the satisfied grin on his face. "Jim!" he called before he even reached the desk. "This is going to work; Tom was happy to trade his Tuesday class for mine on Friday, so I'll have a three-day weekend every week. And I had some other ideas that I think will help everything work out."

"That's great, Chief," Jim said sincerely as he rose to grab his jacket. "I have some ideas to run by you, too. But we'll have to save it for after we get home; right now I need you to help me check out a crime scene."

"Right now?" Blair seemed faintly surprised. "Yeah, sure, man; that's what I'm here for. But it seems odd that you need to go out as soon as I walk in the door. I guess policework is the very definition of 'never a dull moment', huh?"

Jim snorted softly as they waited for the elevator. "You know better than that, Sandburg; you've complained often enough about how boring stakeouts are. But I just realized something this morning. Turns out, I've been saving the boring stuff, like paperwork, for when you're not at the PD. If I have to work a crime scene, it just makes sense -- no pun intended -- to wait till you're available to watch my back, senses-wise."

"Really? That's so cool!" Blair bounced onto the elevator and pushed the button for the garage level. "But I mean... really?"

"Yes, really," Jim said dryly. "I'll let you figure out the statistics for yourself, if you want. And that's part of what we need to talk about tonight. But for now, get in the truck; the good citizens of Cascade are waiting for us."




By unspoken agreement, they shelved the heavy discussion till after dinner. During their meal of meatloaf -- Sally's secret recipe, which Jim hadn't shared even with Blair -- green beans and mashed potatoes, they kept to such important topics as the Jags' chances to make it to the championship, what the construction of a new elementary school a mile away would mean for the neighborhood, and whether or not the city really needed a new shopping center between Hay Avenue and Riley Drive.

After the dishes were washed and put away, Jim poured them each a fresh cup of coffee and urged Blair into the living room. As they sat down, Jim spoke before Blair could get started. "Chief, let me go first? I've been thinking, too, and my conclusions might change your plans a little."

At Blair's assenting nod, Jim settled back and took a deep breath. "Okay, here's the deal. Your dream-vision was either real, or an invention of your inner psyche." He raised a hand to stop Blair's automatic protest. "Yeah, I know, Western thinking. Just bear with me, okay?" Blair looked stubborn for a moment, then relaxed and nodded again.

"Right. Now, if the dream-vision is an invention of your inner psyche, whatever steps you take to meet the shamans' requirements will be good enough; your subconscious will set it up for you to feel you've succeeded. But if the dream-vision is real, on some spiritual level that I don't even want to think about... then trying to finagle around the shamans' requirements in a half-assed, off-again, on-again manner is likely to come back and bite you in the ass. And if the guide gets ass-bit, it's likely to be not too good for the sentinel, either."

Jim leaned forward, staring directly into Blair's eyes. "What I'm saying is, if we treat the whole situation as real, and it isn't, no harm, no foul. But if it's the other way around, there's no telling what could happen. So I think you should commit to that 'journey of learning', and take that sabbatical for the spring and summer. But also, I've been thinking about the problems my senses would likely give me without you around as backup, and it ain't a pretty prospect. So, just to be sure that the sentinel remains sane during that time... I'll go with you."

"What?" Blair's rose in a surprised squeak. "You can't be away from the PD that long! I mean, it might not take the whole eight months, but it could. Would you even have a job when we got back?"

"You know better than that, Chief. The PD always needs good policemen and detectives. At most, I'd simply have to re-certify. But here's the best part -- I have five months accumulated leave. I could sit around here in front of the boob-tube and get paid till the end of May, but I'd rather travel with you. In fact, I've already put the official request through channels."

"What about after that? I mean, I'm an expert at living from temp-job to temp-job, but I can't see you in that kind of lifestyle."

"You wound me, Chief. Rangers are endlessly adaptable; I can manage day-jobs with the best of them. But I also happen to have plenty of savings to draw on; we won't have any problem."

Blair sipped his coffee as he stared toward the darkened balcony doors. Not having to do his 'studies' piecemeal would make things a lot easier. And, to be honest, it was a real rush that Jim -- even as he admitted he was skeptical -- still believed enough in his dream-vision to turn his life upside-down. And he'd certainly feel better if Jim was with him, and not dealing with his senses alone for weeks or months at a time.

Not only that, with Jim's 'sabbatical' plan, he'd be able to deepen his work with the shamans in this area before they left. He'd been planning to spend only one or two weekends with each individual. It wasn't an ideal way to learn, but he'd felt such urgency to take everything in as fast as possible, to not miss out on information that he might need to help his sentinel. But now there was no rush; he could meet with each shaman for as many weekends as he needed, or the shaman was willing to give, until he'd absorbed all he could.

But still... it was a major change for Jim, the guy who could easily have written the book on 'consistency and order'. Traveling cross-country on a shaman-hunt would be the very antithesis of Jim's whole lifestyle. Blair focused again on his friend, his expression a mixture of hope and doubt.

"Man, I can't think of anything I'd like better than traveling with you while I do this. But... are you sure? I mean, absolutely sure? I'll basically be wandering wherever the wind blows, without any particular goal -- just finding shamans willing to teach me, probably by each one sending me to the next. Spontaneous meandering really isn't your thing, you know?"

Jim chuckled. "You'd be surprised, Sandburg. Special ops rarely proceed exactly to plan; if you can't develop a certain spontaneity, you're likely to end up dead. And between you, me, and the gatepost, it'll pretty much be an extended vacation for me. You'll have to go to 'school' every day to talk to the shamans, while I get to laze around walking, fishing, snoozing. I'm going to rub your nose in it every evening -- nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah." His eyes lit up as he stuck out his tongue, finally reducing Blair to laughter.

"How can I argue with such a well-reasoned explanation? All I can say is, 'welcome aboard, man; glad to have you along'."

"Then it's settled," Jim declared with evident satisfaction. "'Before the new year starts' -- say, December twenty-seventh? -- we load up the pickup and follow your nose."

"The pickup? We're taking the Volvo! After all, it's my learning-journey."

"Sandburg, it won't be much of a journey if we have to stop for repairs every other day. Besides, do you really think the Volvo is up to some of the back roads and rough trails we'll probably end up on? The pickup is much better suited for any rough terrain we run in to."

"Yeah, but..." Blair stopped, unable to find a reason Jim might consider valid. "The truck... feels wrong."

"Wrong? You like 'classics', it was built the year you were born... what could be righter than that?"

Jim was right, of course; the truck would be eminently practical. But, somehow, Blair's instincts insisted that the truck would be a hindrance. "I'm afraid some of the places we go, the truck'll seem too... ostentatious. If they see us as 'the man', people might not talk to me."

"'Ostentatious? Sandburg, it's twenty-eight years old; it'll fit right in with every other vehicle on the back roads. I'll even refrain from washing it, so it'll be sporting an authentic patina of road-dust."

Blair shrugged. "I know it isn't logical, but I just can't go in the truck."

"Well, the Volvo certainly isn't suitable for that long a trip!"

"It'll be fine!" Blair shot back. "If you don't like it, you don't have to come!"

"I thought you needed the sentinel to travel with the guide!"

"If the sentinel is going to be an ass, the guide can manage alone!"

They froze, staring at each other in dismay. Jim broke the silence with a tentative, "Chief, what's going on, here? We have two perfectly serviceable vehicles -- well, if we got the Volvo tuned up -- so where's this coming from?"

Blair shook his head, looking somewhat dazed. "I don't know. You're right, it doesn't make sense. But I can't shake the feeling... give me a few, okay?" Without another word he kicked off his shoes, sank cross-legged onto the rug in front of the couch, took a deep, centering breath, and closed his eyes.

Jim watched him, trying to wrap his head around what had just happened. Their usual communication included teasing, joking, bitching and griping, but they didn't almost come to blows over a simple difference of opinion. If he didn't know better, he'd think they were possessed. He hoped they weren't; the deeper he got into this sentinel shit, the more it seemed that anything was possible.

Finally, Blair opened his eyes and looked up at his friend. "I think it's an equality thing," he announced.

Jim frowned in confusion. "Care to explain?"

"Well, it seems like, if we take the truck, the guide is acknowledging the priority of the sentinel, but if we take the Volvo, it's the other way around. And, at some instinctual level, neither one of us can accept that."

"So, what's the answer? Somehow, I don't think Greyhound would take us where we want to go."

"You got that right," Blair agreed. "But you know... I've never had much of a problem getting around by hitchhiking."

"Illegal in some places, and potentially dangerous as hell," Jim said grimly. "Not while I'm with you."

They lapsed into silence, each turning over possibilities. Blair sighed and leaned back to rest his head on the couch cushion; his mind was drawing a blank.

"Chief... how do you feel about hogs?" Jim asked tentatively.

"What?"

"Motorcycles. If we each have one, then wouldn't we be confirming that neither of us has priority over the other?"

Blair considered the suggestion. He could see it, both of them traveling the back-roads side by side. Motorcycles were actually very egalitarian vehicles, and would take them into the roughest country. But... "I can't afford it," he sighed. "It sounds good, but if you buy both bikes, then the sentinel is top dog again. I suppose I could sell the Volvo to buy the bike, but I really like that car."

"And riding a bike around in Cascade weather until we're ready to leave wouldn't be very pleasant," Jim agreed. "Cold and wet would be your world every day."

"Yeah. Bad enough taking off in December on a bike, but if we head south, we'd be in warmer weather in a couple of days. Starting to use it now... I can't say I'd be thrilled."

Both men became silent again, each brain turning over ways and means. Jim juggled a germ of an idea, refining it, firming it up till it looked good to him. Now if only Sandburg would agree.

"How about this, Chief? I buy both bikes -- used, so they're not so expensive -- then we sell them when we get back to Cascade. That way, I'm not out any money -- well, no more than expenses on the road, but we'll be sharing those. And as far as I can tell, even though the sentinel and guide watch out for each other, it's kind of a mutual balancing act. One may carry a bit more of the load at one point, then it's the other's turn. If I carry a bit more to start with, but it evens out at the end, will that work?"

Blair gave the suggestion careful consideration, checking it against the internal censor -- or was it a compass? -- that had been so adamant against the use of the truck. He'd already decided the cycles were a good idea, but would this make him indebted to Jim in any way?

The internal censor/compass/voice -- and where the hell had it come from? he wondered. Something he'd unconsciously picked up in his shamanism studies, or had the dream-vision gifted it to him without his knowledge? Anyway, it seemed to agree that Jim's proposal was an acceptable compromise.

Blair felt the tension that he hadn't realized he was holding, flow out of his shoulders as he relaxed for the first time since the argument had started. He smiled softly, looking up at Jim with a clear gaze.

"Yeah, big guy, I think that'll work out just fine. I really appreciate the suggestion -- and how far you're willing to go to help me do this 'journey of learning' right. It means... well, a helluva lot more than I can say."

Jim shrugged, uneasy with profuse expressions of gratitude. "You've done so much for me, Sandburg, helping me with these senses; it's little enough repayment."

Blair shook his head, smiling more broadly. "I beg to differ, but I won't force it on you. So, what kind of bikes do you think we should get?"

Jim stood and stretched, then ambled into the kitchen and returned with a couple of bottles of beer, handing one to Blair. "I think we've exercised our brains enough for one evening, and we have time to decide that another day. What d'ya say we catch the last half of the Jags' game?"

"I could go for that," Blair agreed. He lifted himself onto the couch, accepted the beer from Jim -- who was already aiming the remote control at the TV -- and settled in to enjoy the rest of the evening with his best friend.




Blair's first 'free Friday' was a great time to start gathering information. He stopped at several motorcycle dealers to pick up brochures. Even though they'd be buying used -- which he carefully didn't mention to any of the eager salesmen -- he figured the brochures would help them choose the best bike for their purposes. He was leaning toward Kawasaki, but Jim would probably have different ideas.

At Administration, Blair filled out the necessary paperwork -- all 32,683 pages of it, or so it seemed -- to meet the requirements for taking a research sabbatical to encompass the spring and summer semesters. He used quite a bit of creativity to explain the research he'd be doing, and how it applied to his dissertation; he was quite pleased with the result. It should be approved with no problem.

Then he was off to the library, where he booted up his laptop to use their wireless access. The Tulalip tribe was closest to Cascade, with a reservation just north of Seattle. If he headed south on I-5, he could be there in an hour, or a little longer. Pictures of Quil Ceda Village looked pretty much like any small-town America. Human societies were endlessly flexible; it was natural -- regardless of how unique their personal culture -- for many to adjust, at least outwardly, to the dominant civilization. Blair hoped that it was only a surface adaptation, and that the tribe retained enough of their cultural identity and spirituality that he'd be able to meet with a true shaman or medicine man. If not... well, try, try again. The dream-vision shamans had indicated that the journey would not be easy. If the Tulalip couldn't help him, maybe they'd know a tribe that could.

Blair glanced at the library clock, then started loading everything in his backpack. He and Jim were meeting for lunch at Mario's Pizza and Pasta, followed by an afternoon of reviewing a couple of troublesome crime scenes -- unless they were interrupted by a significant crime in progress. Considering how smoothly things were going right now, he estimated the possibility at about fifty percent.




"Hey, Jim!" Blair pulled out the brochures before he dropped his backpack at the end of the booth-seat and slid in beside it. "You already ordered?"

"Large meat-lover's for me, medium veggie-lover's for you. You know, Sandburg, I think I just figured out why you grew up so short -- not enough protein in your diet. If you started eating more meat, maybe it's not too late."

"Couple of problems, there, big guy. One, vegetarian diets don't stunt growth, as witness the gorilla and elephant. Two, I'm statistically average; I can't help it if I work with overgrown behemoths."

Jim raised a sardonic eyebrow. "Keep telling yourself that, Sandburg; maybe someday you'll believe it. Personally, methinks the man doth protest too much."

"Unlike some people, I learned long ago that height has nothing to do with a man's character. You happen to have both. But we also know that some of the biggest assholes think they can get away with that behavior just because they're larger than whoever they've chosen as a target. I prefer 'short' as a designation over 'asshole'."

"Guess I can't argue with that," Jim agreed. "What's all this stuff?" He picked up one of the brochures to see the cover.

"I thought they might help us consider the pros and cons of the different bikes. What do you think of a Kawasaki?"

"I think it's highly overrated. And we don't need a discussion; we'll both ride Harley-Davidson Road Kings. They're well-built and solid; they'll stand up to thousands of miles and months of travel. Put a pair of fiberglass saddlebags and a cargo-carrier on each, and we'll be able to take everything we need and go anywhere we want. I know a mechanic in El Paso; he's got a good eye, and will find us a couple of reliable used bikes. I'll ask him to check 'em over, tune 'em up, and we'll be ready to hit the road right after Christmas."

"What! Wait... you..." Blair sputtered, caught between shock and outrage; hadn't they settled this whole 'taking over' business last night? Just then, their waitress appeared with their pizzas. By the time each had slid several slices onto their plates and started to eat, he'd had time to regain his composure.

"First," Blair said between bites, "how did you get to be the guru of motorcycle selection? Second, you couldn't find anyone closer than El Paso? That's quite a commute to get to our rides."

"I learned more in Vice than just how to knock heads together," Jim said mildly. "We can sit down and I'll show you all the advantages a Road King has over any other bike, but believe me, it's by far the best choice. And I've owned one before; I know their quirks, and I'll be able to keep them in good working condition."

"Huh? If a Road King is so great, why would you need to 'keep it in working condition'?"

"Vibration, Chief. No matter how well it's put together, bits and pieces shake loose or break down -- unless you keep on top of things with regular maintenance. I'm your man."

"Cool! And I bet you'll catch potential problems even sooner with your sentinel senses. I wonder if there's any way we can test how much sooner you notice problems than the average rider would?"

"Not likely. There's not a lot to measure if I keep fixing things before they even break down."

"Point," Blair conceded. "Now, why El Paso?"

"Well, you had a point about taking off from Cascade in the middle of winter. The twenty-seventh is a Saturday; most Christmas travelers won't be heading home till Sunday. If we buy the tickets now, we can get them pretty cheap." Jim had contemplated offering to buy Blair's ticket, but worried he might see it -- again -- as the sentinel trying to claim 'priority' over the guide. Best to assume Blair would manage it somehow, or ask for help if he needed it. "I figured we could fly down to El Paso, then head south into Mexico. You start your shaman studies there, where you can be comfortable in warmer weather. Then, as the summer heats up, we can work our way north, kind of staying in the more temperate areas, and finally end up in Cascade." Jim winked at Blair's open-mouthed expression. "Hey, I'm smarter than the average bear -- and isn't it the duty of a sentinel to look out for his guide?"

"Yabba-dabba-do," Blair said softly. "I like the way you think. We'll have to check ticket prices but, yeah, I think I can swing it."

When they had reached the mellowing-out stage, each about halfway through his pizza, Blair considered it an auspicious moment to mention the other part of his plans.

"Y'know," he said softly, "Just because I'll be going on a long-term sabbatical doesn't mean I can't get a head start on the face-to-face shamanism studies. I have all these three-day weekends between now and the end of the semester; seems kind of pointless to do nothing with them. I thought I'd head down to the Tulalip reservation tomorrow, see if their shaman or medicine man is willing to talk to me. Unless you had something else planned for the weekend...?"

Jim squashed his automatic protest. It would only be two days; he didn't need Blair living in his back pocket every second of every day. "Just show up without any warning, or asking if it's okay?" he asked, trying to keep his voice neutral. "Do you think that's -- I dunno -- the 'acceptable' way of approaching a shaman?"

"Well, I don't have a name or address to write to," Blair pointed out. "I suppose I might find it out -- they actually have a website, all about their village and lifestyle and what they do for the community and planet. But generally speaking, it's more respectful for a seeker to present himself in person, so the shaman can judge what kind of person he is, and whether he's worthy. I might get nowhere, but I won't know if I don't try."

Jim bit off a large piece of pizza as a delaying tactic before answering. Sandburg had a point. If he had to take this 'learning journey' -- and they were already operating under the assumption that it was inevitable -- then there was no sense postponing his opportunities to gain information. "Tell you what," he finally said. "I know you need to go, but you know that I can't help worrying about something going wrong. Let me check out the Volvo tonight, you be sure your cellphone is charged up, and I won't chain you up to prevent your leaving."

"Thanks for understanding, man; it means a lot to me." Blair's smile was dazzling.

"What about the sentinel accompanying the guide thing; you want me to come along?"

Blair considered it. "I think maybe I should go alone the first time, get the acceptance of the shaman. He'll let me know when the sentinel needs to join the lessons. Besides, I don't even know that the Tulalip will have someone who can help me; they might send me to try the Skokomish or Yakima."

"Okay, Chief; it's your call. Just remember, I'll be there --" The ringing cellphone interrupted his words. "Ellison." ... ... ... "Okay, Simon, we'll head right out." He took a last swig of coffee, stood, and tossed enough money to cover the bill on the table. "C'mon, Chief; duty calls."

"Well, at least we got to finish most of our lunch," Blair observed philosophically as he grabbed his backpack and followed Jim out the door.




Blair stared into space one evening, his attention far removed from the textbooks scattered across the table. It might work; they weren't leaving for seven weeks. Of course, getting the info out of Jim might be tricky; the sentinel would know if he told an outright lie. But he might manage an almost-truth.

He waited till the news paused for an ad, then spoke across the room. "Hey, Jim, can you give me the number of your friend who found the bikes for us?"

"Why, Sandburg? No way he'll let you trade the Road King for a Kawasaki; he has too much respect for a good bike to let a friend of mine ride a substandard model."

"Nah, nothing like that," Blair assured him. "I just wanted to check the cost of a customized paint-job. I think it would be kind of cool if the bike was one-of-a-kind, you know?" Which was absolutely true; he didn't have to mention that he didn't intend the paint job for his bike. It would be a great Christmas present for his friend and sentinel.

"Something like that can get pretty pricey," Jim warned. "But I guess you won't be satisfied till you find out for yourself. Call nine-one-five, five-five-five, six-two-eight-three; ask for David Barrett."

Blair noted the name and number in his school day-planner. "Thanks, man; I'll give him a call tomorrow."




It was almost noon before Jim had time to sit down at the phone. He dialed Dave's number, hoping that Sandburg hadn't yet spoken to him.

"Dave? Ellison. ... Cold and rainy; we don't expect anything else around here. ... Yeah, yeah, rub it in, buddy. For that, you'll have to knock a hundred bucks off the price.

"Listen, has my partner -- guy named Sandburg -- already talked to you? ... Damn; I hoped I'd cut him off at the pass. Have you started the new paint-job yet? ... Good, glad to hear it. Listen, whatever he wanted, don't do it. I want his bike painted exactly like I told you; if he doesn't like it, I'll take the grief. But this is really important to me; I don't want any changes at all. ... Thanks, buddy. Knew I could count on you."

He hung up the phone, extremely satisfied with himself. Sandburg would get that particular Christmas present a couple of days late, but Jim was comfortably certain that it would knock his socks off.




As November slipped into December, enough small changes had accumulated that Jim was beginning to notice them. Sandburg had found a kindred spirit in Patrick Emborski, the shaman of the Tulalip tribe, and spent every other weekend with him. Jim had gone with Blair once, and found the man pleasant enough, with the knowledge and information that Blair so desperately wanted to learn. But, despite Sandburg's almost visible hopes, Jim hadn't felt any kind of connection with the shaman. Emborski had assured Jim that he was not the shaman who would help the sentinel strengthen his connection with the guide, but that they would meet the 'one they needed' on their journey.

Under the effects of his shaman lessons, Sandburg seemed... more mellow? More grounded? Jim wasn't sure he could describe it. Sandburg still bounced, still demonstrated his unending energy and zest for life, but it was a bit lower-key, and he seemed more self-confident, less anxious about helping Jim with his senses. Jim felt it every time he needed to use his senses; somehow they worked better now, more easily, even though it didn't seem that Sandburg was doing anything different to help him. If this was the result of a few weekend lessons, he couldn't imagine what he'd be capable of -- what they'd be capable of -- when Sandburg really got his mojo going. Best of all, as far as Jim was concerned, Sandburg had quit almost all of the infernal 'testing'; it seemed like he instinctively knew, without question, what Jim would be able to do. Once in a while, he'd ask for something that Jim thought of as a 'perimeter check' -- like, "Hey, Jim, how many blocks can you still clearly read a license plate?" or, with a pair of binoculars to his eyes, "See that old blue van going over the bridge. Is the engine running smooth, or does it need a tune-up?" -- but they were insignificant blips compared to the former aggravation of extensive and sometimes painful experiments Sandburg had inflicted on him.

At the PD, Jim was taking care to ensure that there would be no loose case-threads dangling when he left. The replacement detective Simon had hired was a woman, Sharon Cagney, tall and good-looking -- Sandburg was still the shortest person in MC -- with short-cropped, shaggy brown hair. She was actually intelligent and competent, despite Jim's private grumbling to Sandburg about her suitability for the job. Blair laughed and called him a reactionary Neanderthal. Sharon functioned well as Jim's partner, and didn't seem to think it was at all odd that Blair joined the two of them whenever he wasn't at the university. When Sandburg helpfully suggested that anyone who could work with Jim without wanting to punch him out demonstrated a self-control that would be able to handle anything Cascade would throw at her, Jim had to concede that MC would probably get along without him for the next eight months. He hoped he'd be able to close all his open cases by Christmas but, if not, Cagney would very capably pick up the slack.

One evening, just three weeks till 'D-day' -- their plane tickets were confirmed for 4:00 PM on the twenty-seventh -- Blair paused in grading the final-exam essays. "Jim, I've been thinking..." he started, his voice carefully casual.

"Which is frequently dangerous," Jim observed. "What's on your mind, buddy?"

"Well, you talked about doing maintenance on the bikes, which means you'll need to pack tools and maybe small parts in our gear. You'd probably get a lot better deal on prices if you waited till the twenty-sixth, when you could hit the post-Christmas sales."

Jim kept his grin to himself. Real subtle there, buddy. But, really, Sandburg was in a bind; it was difficult to warn someone off something you knew they needed, and were likely to buy for themselves. And, not so coincidentally, he was in the same boat.

"Makes sense, Chief," he said solemnly. "Doesn't hurt to get the best bang for the buck I can find. Of course, the same goes for you; if you're looking at any specialized gear, you should also wait for the after-Christmas deals."

Blair raised his eyes to meet Jim's. Busted, their expressions acknowledged, but they'd keep up the fiction until Christmas. At least, neither knew the details of what the other was planning. Satisfied and in harmony with each other, Blair returned to his grading, and Jim to his newspaper.




Christmas Day dawned cold and clear. Jim heard Sandburg stirring early. They'd planned to sleep in, but Blair hadn't been able to manage that lately; the closer they came to his journey's beginning, the more excited he became. Blair was already starting the coffee, being as quiet as he could. Ordinarily, Jim could sleep through Sandburg's stirrings but -- whether because he was also feeling the effects of pre-travel excitement, or because the sentinel was ever more closely attuned to the guide -- he recently seemed to have lost that facility. Well, a day or two spent traveling on motorcycles would probably ensure that Sandburg slept long and deeply. Meanwhile, Jim got up, threw on his robe, and headed downstairs to help his friend with an early breakfast.

After eating, they strolled into the living room, although Blair's 'stroll' had a definite bounce component. Since they'd be leaving in two days, they'd kept the Christmas decorations to a minimum; a tiny, pre-decorated artificial tree sat on end of a long table in front of the balcony doors, while a Menorah stood at the opposite end. The presents sat under the table -- one large and one smaller box from each man to the other, with a second small box for each that was a group present from everyone in Major Crime.

"So, which first, big or small?" Jim asked.

Blair gave the problem due consideration. "Well, if the big presents blow our socks off, the smaller ones might not get the full appreciation that's due them. But if we open the smaller first, we might skip past them too fast to admire them properly in our hurry to get to the big ones."

Jim grinned. Watching Sandburg over-analyze the question was worth paying admission.

"Sooo... I think we should open the big presents first, take a lot of time to admire and enjoy them, then clear our minds to properly appreciate what's next."

"Works for me." Jim retrieved both larger boxes from under the table, handing his to Blair, and setting aside Blair's to him for a few moments. He wanted to enjoy the full effect when Blair saw what Jim had so carefully selected for him.

Blair ripped off the colorful wrapping with the eagerness of a child, pulled off the top of the box, and froze. Slowly he stroked the leather inside, then pulled out the top piece to examine it more closely.

The jacket was an unusual shade of grayish-blue, and the snaps and decorative studs were the dark blue of late evening. The gloves and trousers beneath the jacket were the same remarkable color. Blair was speechless as he looked from the exquisite motorcycle leathers to Jim, and back again. When he finally found his voice, he couldn't manage much. "How... where...?"

"Special order," Jim replied succinctly, thoroughly satisfied with the effect of his gift. "It seems to me that a shaman deserves something a little out of the ordinary, and ever since those dreams I had in Peru, I associate 'blue' with the spirit-world. Besides," he added, trying to lighten Blair's thunderstruck expression, "the color will enhance your eyes; you'll have every lady within a hundred yards swooning at your feet."

"Except for the ones that get a look at you first," Blair smirked. "I saw yours when you brought them in. In that black and silver, you'll look twice as buff as you already do; you'll have to beat the ladies off with a stick." Then he fell silent again, carefully set the box aside, and stood to try on the jacket. It was a perfect fit.

"Man, I can't thank you enough," Blair murmured, his voice husky, stroking the arm of the jacket as if it were a kitten. "I just figured to hit the sales tomorrow, and find a leather vest to wear over my regular clothes, you know? Especially since we're heading to Mexico, where it'll be warm."

"No way in hell, Sandburg," Jim almost growled. "Leathers aren't for a macho image or to keep you warm; they're to keep your skin from being flayed right off your body if you wipe out. No matter how well you ride, there's always some damn fool around who'll ignore a cycle and pull some asshole maneuver that'll put you in danger. Times like that, blue jeans and flannel shirts might as well be tissue paper, and a vest will do nothing for your arms and legs; you're not going to chance it."

Blair still seemed almost mesmerized. "This is so great; just unbelievable!"

"Believe it," Jim suggested. "The sentinel looks out for the guide, remember? But now that you've given it the proper appreciation, put it aside so I can open my present for my share of appreciation."

Blair folded the jacket back into the box with a last pat, then looked anxiously at the box Jim held. "That's... it can't even compare..." he stuttered.

Jim shook his head as he carefully cut off the wrapping paper. "No comparisons, Chief; it's always the thought that counts." As he opened the box, he drew in a sharp breath. He'd suspected that Sandburg would give him the tools that would be necessary to maintain the bikes, but this went far beyond his expectations. The compact toolbox inside held a Harley-Davidson-specific collection of every size and type of screwdriver, wrench and pliers he'd need, along with an assortment of washers, gaskets, springs, screws, wires, glue, electrical tape, and even separate kits for repairing rubber and fiberglass. Given a frame and wheels, he could practically build a whole new cycle with this equipment.

"Chief, this is amazing. There's not a single problem that might happen with those bikes that I couldn't fix with what I have here. You did a bang-up job, buddy; I really appreciate it."

"You're sure?" Blair asked anxiously. "I talked with a Harley-Davidson mechanic, and put in everything he told me, but if I missed anything, I'll be happy to add it tomorrow."

"No need," Jim assured him. "You've covered every possible eventuality, I promise."

"Well, good." Blair settled back, trying not to let his friend notice how relieved he felt. The two gifts didn't compare, but he was gratified that Jim seemed to really like it, or at least appreciate the thought that Blair had put into it.

"Now that we've suitably enjoyed our number one gifts, are we ready for round two?" Jim asked. Although he tried to appear nonchalant, Blair noticed a definite twinkle of anticipation in his eyes.

"Right; my turn to do the honors." Blair returned with the two smaller boxes, tossing Jim's into his lap, and holding on to his own. "You first, this time."

Jim dutifully opened his box to find an envelope tucked inside. He pulled a slip of paper out of the envelope, glanced at it, and started to chuckle.

"Jim?" Blair was... okay, a tiny bit miffed. His gift wasn't supposed to be funny.

"It's kind of a timed joke, Chief. Open yours, and you'll see."

Blair opened his box to find a very familiar envelope tucked inside. With a feeling of inevitability, he pulled a slip of paper out of the envelope. It was, as he'd somehow known it would be, a gift certificate to Biker's World for any helmet and pair of biker boots in stock -- identical to the one he'd given Jim. He snorted, looked across at Jim, and began to snicker.

"Great minds, right, Chief?"

"I don't know, man. Either you'll have to climb up to match my brilliance, or I'll have to damp myself down to your level. Either way, it's kind of scary."

"I think I'm hurt, Chief."

"Really? I thought your name was Jim." They tried to retain their composure for another moment, then both burst in to full-out guffaws, laughing till they clutched their ribs and tears ran down their cheeks.

As the laughter finally subsided, Blair caught his breath enough to ask, "I suppose we did it this way for the same reason?"

"Only way to go," Jim assured him. "Boots have to fit just right, and helmet-preference is so individualistic that you're just looking for disappointment if you try to choose for someone else."

Jim crossed the room once more to retrieve the final gifts. As Blair took his, he looked at it doubtfully. "I don't get it; we exchanged presents with everyone at the unit Christmas party two days ago." They'd both received small, compact items -- from neck-cloths to insulated coffee mugs -- to make traveling more convenient. "Why would they give us more?"

"You're the anthropologist, Sandburg. Could it possibly be that they intend to demonstrate that they'll miss us, and hope we'll come back? So open it, and find out."

Jim hid his slight frown; even after all this time, Blair was still insecure about his place in Major Crime. He didn't seem to comprehend that the other detectives liked him for himself, rather than just tolerating him as an unofficial partner to Jim.

"Okay. Together?"

"Right with you."

Again, each box held an envelope. When Blair opened his, he gasped. "Jim!"

"Same here, Sandburg." Jim counted the fifty-dollar bills in his envelope. "It's a thousand bucks, buddy. Quite a demonstration, wouldn't you say?" Blair was still staring in shock at the bills tucked into the envelope. "Try reading the note."

"What? Oh... I didn't even notice." He pulled it out and read aloud, "'To Jim and Blair. When you get tired of roughing it, treat yourselves to a hotel room and a restaurant meal. Have a safe trip'. Wow; everyone signed it -- even Dills, and I didn't think he liked me that much."

"Maybe not, but you're part of the team," Jim assured him.

"I don't even know what to say to something like this."

"You say 'thank you' -- and you'll be able to do that when we all meet at Simon's for our combination Christmas dinner / farewell party. As a matter of fact, we need to leave in about an hour; I promised Simon we'd get there early to help with everything. So go get dressed; you can practice your 'thank you' speech while you do."

"You sure we don't have to bring anything? It just seems wrong to show up empty-handed. Maybe some beer?" Blair headed toward the bathroom to shower and shave.

"Okay, we'll pick up a couple of six-packs on the way so they won't throw us out." Jim smiled fondly at Blair's retreating back. One of these days, Sandburg would realize that he really did fit in with the men and women of Major Crime.




Since they'd left their vehicles in the PD parking garage for safety -- tucked into the most distant back corner, where no one ever wanted to park -- Simon picked them up to drive them to the airport. He stared at the two duffle bags and rolled sleeping bag that each man carried. "You'll be gone for maybe eight months. Are you sure you're taking enough?"

"We're sure," Jim said easily. "A pair of saddlebags -- even the large size -- and a top cargo carrier can only hold so much gear.

"And it's not like we're heading off to the wilds of Borneo," Blair added. "There'll be actual stores and stuff along the way, where we can buy what we need."

Simon favored him with the glare that never seemed to have an effect on his civilian observer. "You know, Sandburg, it's going to be mighty quiet without you around; I think I'm going to enjoy it."

Blair grinned. "I'll send you a postcard, Simon, just so you don't forget me."

"He always has an answer, sir," Jim pointed out.

"That's another thing I won't miss. Get in, both of you."

With their gear stowed in the trunk, Blair in the back seat, and Jim riding shotgun, they were on their way. Conversation was sporadic; everything had already been said a dozen times over.

When they reached the airport, Simon pulled into short-term parking. "You don't need to do that, sir," Jim suggested. "We'll be fine; just drop us off at the curb."

"That's no way to send a friend on a trip, Ellison," Simon growled. "So pipe down and try to act just a little refined."

"Refined; yes sir," Jim answered. Blair snickered behind him.

Simon waited while Jim and Blair checked their bags, then walked with them as they headed toward security, quite a distance down the concourse. They passed a couple of off-set seating areas, where friends and family could wait for arrivals, or watch through the large windows as the planes carrying their loved ones took off or landed.

As they passed the third, Jim and Blair were startled by a shout of, "Surprise!" from a dozen voices, while Simon smirked beside them. Turning, they saw that the entire contingent of Major Crime had taken over this area, complete with posters taped to the supporting pillars. Have a safe trip! and Hurry back! and We'll miss you! expressed the sentiments of their friends as the group surged forward to bring Jim and Blair into their orbit.

They were subjected to a round of handshakes and back-slaps, as well as hugs from Rhonda and Sharon, while typical inanities nevertheless assured them of how much their friends cared. Joel enfolded Blair in a fierce hug. "Don't let this be goodbye, son," he murmured. "Just, 'see you later', okay?"

"Absolutely, Joel," Blair assured him. "We'll be back by the end of August, just like a pair of bad pennies."

Gradually, there was nothing left to say. Simon stirred; it was a captain's duty to look out for his men. "Your plane leaves in forty-five minutes," he pointed out, "and you still have to pass through security. I hate to say it, but -- shoo!"

"Shooing, sir," Jim agreed.

"Thanks, everyone!" Blair spoke loud enough for the whole group to hear. "We'll see you in August!"

Jim and Blair left their friends behind and passed through security. Then, together as always, sentinel and guide boarded the plane for the first leg on their long journey of knowledge and discovery.




Blair sighed as he threw his bags on one of the motel-room beds, and collapsed beside them. Five hours of travel -- two hours to LAX, an hour layover, then two hours to El Paso -- felt like twenty-five. "Y'know, maybe riding down from Cascade wouldn't have been so bad, after all."

"But the bikes are here, Chief. Kind of pointless to have them trucked to Cascade so we could ride to El Paso."

"Yeah, but the airlines make travel less pleasant every year. At this rate, they're going to piss off the public till they all go belly-up."

"If that happens, how will all the little anthropologists get halfway around the world to their latest expedition?" Jim asked mildly. Sandburg didn't often get grumpy but, when he did, he let it all hang out. "There's a Red Lobster just a couple of doors down. Let's go; you'll feel better with a good meal under your belt."

"You're a slave-driver," Blair grumbled. But he heaved himself off the bed and headed into the bathroom to wash his hands.

Thirty minutes later, halfway through his fried trout, crab linguini and rice pilaf, Blair's mood had mellowed. "I guess I didn't realize how hungry I was. Thanks, man; this was a good idea."

"Glad to be of service, Sandburg. In repayment, I expect you to bring me breakfast in bed, tomorrow."

"Jim, if you can't make it to the 'complimentary continental breakfast, I don't think we'll get very far on this trip. By the way, what's the plan for tomorrow? Does your friend open his shop on Sunday?"

"No, but he said he'll meet us there at ten-thirty. It's his week to act as an usher at the first two church services, so he can't get away any earlier."

"Hey, that's cool. I think I might actually be able to sleep late tomorrow; seems like I've been running short lately, even for me."

"Unless excitement has you up at the crack of dawn," Jim suggested. "You've been antsy for the last two weeks."

"Oh, well." Blair shrugged his disinterest in the subject. "It's not like we'll be punching time-cards for the next eight months. I'll have plenty of time to sleep if I need it."

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm ready to get started on that." Jim signaled for the check, handed his credit card to the waitress, and added a generous tip when she brought the receipt.

Then, together, Jim and Blair headed back to the motel, and what they hoped would be a good night's rest. From now on, a soft bed for the night was likely to be an occasional luxury.




The taxi deposited them in front of Barrett's Bikes at 10:25. At 10:35, a gold Toyota Camry with red racing stripes and flames on the back quarter of each side -- obviously a custom job -- pulled up and a tall, balding man climbed out and gave Jim a cursory salute. "Hey, Cap."

"Not anymore; just plain Jim Ellison. Dave Barrett, my partner and friend, Blair Sandburg."

Shaking Blair's hand, Dave remarked, "You must be hiding a lot of gumption under that hair, kid, to put up with this old bear."

"He's not so bad," Blair grinned. "Make sure to feed him enough meat, and he generally plays nice. I take it you knew him in the army?"

"Yep," Dave said as he unlocked the door and ushered them in. "Best damn Captain I ever served under. I was sorry to see him muster out."

"Times change," Jim remarked. "Look at you; driving a Toyota instead of riding a hog?"

"Great paint job, though," Blair said enthusiastically. "Your work?" If so, it suggested the paint job he'd ordered, sight-unseen, wouldn't disappoint.

Dave grinned at Jim. "Thing is, you can't put a wife and two little girls on the back of a hog. I use the cycle on workdays, the car on weekends. And you got it, kid; custom paint jobs are one of our specialties."

Jim's slap on the back was almost enough to make Dave stagger. "Congratulations! When did that happen?"

"Got married five years ago. Mandy's three, and Beth just turned one."

"Kids are so great," Blair said. "Gives us hope for the world."

"Great for me," Dave agreed. "But you didn't come to talk about my family. Wait here a minute. I need to turn on the lights before you see them; I want you to get the full effect." He disappeared through a door behind the sales counter, while Blair bounced and Jim regarded him suspiciously. Could it be...?

Soon enough, Dave opened the door and said, "Come on through."

They were barely three steps past the door when Jim and Blair stopped in their tracks, stunned.

The bikes were facing each other, side-on toward the observers, spotlighted to show off every detail.

"Jim... that's just..."

"Great minds again, Chief. Merry Christmas, by the way."

"Yeah, you too," Blair answered, absently. He hardly knew which bike to examine first -- the one he'd had painted for Jim, or the one Jim had obviously had painted for him.

Jim's bike -- fenders, gas tank, hard-sided, rectangular saddlebags and top cargo carrier -- was painted in a pattern of blotched green, to simulate the canopy of the forest where he'd lived for eighteen months. On each side of the gas tank was a plain white circle, background for a 'head-shot' of a snarling, blue-eyed black panther. Larger white circles on the saddlebags showcased a head-and-shoulders image of the same representation of Jim's spirit guide. It was amazing; Dave had perfectly executed the picture he'd had in his head as he'd described what he wanted.

Apparently, Jim's vision had been similar to his. Blair's bike was a hazy, medium blue -- the color Jim had seen in his spirit visions, he supposed -- with very pale blue circles scattered across the gas tank, saddle bags and even the sides of the cargo-carrier. As he circled the bike, he saw that each circle held the head-image of a different animal -- buffalo, falcon, lion, eagle, wolf, gorilla, lynx, hawk, bear, cheetah, horse, dolphin, orca, and cougar. "Jim?" he asked, softly.

"You said Incacha told you that your spirit animal was strong and wise," Jim answered, just as quietly. "I just picked what I thought might be suitable candidates. Even if your own spirit animal isn't shown, I thought the others might bring you good luck... or something."

"I can't imagine anything better. Thank you, Jim. I mean, really... thank you!"

"Back at'cha, Chief. That design is just inspired."

Dave had stood quietly, watching as his artwork was duly admired; the absorbed appreciation was an artist's version of a standing ovation. But he'd promised his wife he'd be home in time for Sunday lunch with his in-laws. "I'm glad it meets your expectations Jim, Blair. But my wife is waiting, and I expect you want to get on the road."

Brought back to reality, Jim and Blair began to sort the contents of their duffle bags into the available spaces on their bikes. But when Blair opened his cargo-carrier, he found a power-converter attached high on one side. Puzzled, he followed the lead through a hole in the front of the carrier and saw that it was connected -- he couldn't quite tell how -- to the engine. "What's this?" he asked, looking from Jim to Dave.

"Jim's idea," Dave said. "I never thought of it before, but I think I'll start offering it as an option for the businessmen who like to cycle."

"And you told me it wouldn't work," Jim teased.

"Reckon that's why you were captain," Dave shot back.

"There'll probably be times when we won't have electricity available," Jim explained to Blair. "I figured you could plug in your laptop and charge the battery when we ride. That way, you'll have enough juice to use it in the evening."

"You see, Dave," Blair said earnestly, "this 'old bear' is the best partner a man could have. I think I'll keep him." His shining eyes, turned toward Jim, spoke a more eloquent 'thanks' than words could express. Jim gave his partner a dazzling smile, supremely satisfied with the effect of his gift.

Finally, belongings stowed and bedrolls strapped behind the seats, Jim and Blair wheeled the bikes out of the shop, which Dave locked behind them. After accepting final effusive 'thanks' from both men, he got in his car and drove away, presumably toward home.

Jim turned toward Blair. "Well, Chief, where are we headed?"

"Piedras Negras, south of San Antonio. Juanita's email said the shaman of the Kickapoo tribe in Mexico wanted another shaman to vouch for me before he'd agree to see me. The Kickapoo on the reservation south of Piedras Negras are related to those in Mexico. If the Texas shaman won't vouch for me... well, I'll ask his advice and follow it."

"Just one favor, Chief?" Jim asked as he pulled the road atlas from its position on the very top layer in the cargo carrier. He scanned the Texas map, noting road numbers and towns. "Let me be the navigator? I mean, a budding shaman needs to concentrate on more important things, don't you think?"

Blair glared at Jim, then broke down and snickered. "I think that's the nicest put-down of my directional abilities I've ever heard. Sure, big guy, knock yourself out."

"I hope not. Okay, it looks about six hundred miles; as late as it is, we won't make the distance today. We'll go east on I-Ten, maybe spend the night in Fort Stockton?"

"Hey, you're the navigator; as long as we get there, I don't much care how we do it."

Jim paused, giving Blair a long, measured look. "You know, Chief, we really do make a great team. I think I'm going to enjoy the next few months." He placed the atlas back in the luggage carrier, and strapped on his helmet.

"You know it, man!" Blair answered, strapping on his own helmet. "This is going to be so cool."

In unison, Jim and Blair settled on their bikes. The engines roared to life as they kicked the starters and, together as always, sentinel and guide headed toward their destiny.



The End




Author's Notes

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Title: Windsong
Summary: Jim is afraid Blair intends to leave, and Takes Steps.
Style: Gen
Size: 7,950 words, about 16 pages in MS Word.
Warnings: None.
Notes: July, 2005. Incorporates an original poem. Explanation of how it was written is in the Author's Notes.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Windsong

by StarWatcher





Thursday

Whistling, Blair Sandburg hitched his backpack a little more securely onto his shoulder as he stood at the top step in front of Hargrove Hall and surveyed this section of Rainier campus from his elevated post. White and purple hyacinths were blooming in a nearby flowerbed; even his unenhanced olfactory senses could recognize their fragrance carried on the gentle breeze. Butterflies flitted between the dandelions that inevitably dotted the grass, and the trees' newly-leaved branches cast a comforting shade against the bright, late-spring sunshine. Somewhere nearby, a mockingbird was staking out his territory in vibrant song, and a mourning dove's plaintive counterpoint revealed its hiding place in a willow tree. Mother Nature was gifting Cascade with a rare, glorious day, and Blair was duly appreciative.

He took a deep, intoxicating breath of the gently-crisp air, grinned, and started down the steps. Blair had always loved the springtime, when it seemed that human blood rose to quickened life, just as the sap in the trees. It was at this time of the year when Naomi's wanderlust would most often entice her onto new paths and she'd set out for the promise of a fresh kind of enlightenment, pulling her son into new cultures and new experiences.

He had to admit, he felt a touch of that wanderlust himself. In previous years, he would have been trying to join whatever expedition was being planned. Or, failing that, he would have tossed his backpack and a duffle bag in the back of the Corvair, traveling on a shoestring budget wherever his nose led him, following the back roads to find the small, isolated communities, or crossing several states to visit a Native American tribe. It didn't matter. Whether he was talking to a wise tribal shaman or an elderly town librarian, the mothers hanging their wash or the children playing in the streets, men working in the fields or teens gathered in their local hangout, Blair was supremely happy to learn about people, places, and customs. His curiosity was always burning but, this time of the year, it flared even more brightly than usual.

                                  The wind blows free
                                  Over land and sea;
                                  Who would follow the wind?


Not this year, though. Blair shook himself out of his introspection and grinned as he hurried to the car. He was supposed to meet Jim at the PD and, together, they'd go over a recent crime scene to see if Jim's senses could pick up anything that forensics had missed. Well, Jim would go over the crime scene while Blair grounded him and offered suggestions on the possible use of his senses -- and that was why Blair could ignore the tug of wanderlust. He had found his Sentinel, the dream he'd been searching for over half his life, and nothing was more exciting or mentally stimulating than working with Jim, helping him to be -- oh, all right -- 'the best he could be'.

Blair grimaced at using such a cliché, even to himself, but it was true. Ellison was almost larger than life -- strong, smart, honorable, caring -- a Tribal Protector in its truest sense. On the other hand, he was human; Jim could sometimes be impatient, acerbic, inflexible, resistant to suggestions, and he didn't suffer fools gladly. In fact -- Blair glanced at the clock tower as he passed it, gave a mental 'Whoops!' and pressed more firmly on the accelerator -- if he didn't hurry, he'd be late again, and earn himself a vivid reminder of just how impatient Jim could be.

But the wanderlust was there, Blair admitted to himself, even if sublimated. Briefly, he wondered how Jim would feel about taking his two-week vacation 'on the road', following the will-o'-the-wisp of an anthropologist's curiosity. Then he snorted and shook his head; no way would Jim Ellison be happy -- or even comfortable -- traveling without a plan, trying to make conversation with a succession of strangers. No, this year, and for the foreseeable future, he'd stay in Cascade, by his sentinel's side, and that was more than enough; it was everything he'd ever wanted.

Still, it can't hurt, he mused, as he drove with the windows and top down, the breeze tangling his hair, to pretend, just for a few moments, that instead of taking the turn toward the PD, I'll just head out of town, and keep on going...

But the siren call was firmly ignored as he sped past the exit to Route 84-East and then, half a mile later, turned onto Fairmount to take him across town to the police station. Jim was counting on him.



Saturday

In the interests of catching the 1:30 exhibition game between the Jags and the Lakers, they'd split up the chores; while Blair had headed out with the shopping list, Jim had finished the laundry, sorting it and folding everything neatly. He carried Blair's pile of shirts and jeans into the small room and set it on the bed, shaking his head ruefully at the disorder in which the kid lived.

Turning to leave, Jim passed too close to a tottering pile of books and papers, and everything tumbled to the floor. With an exclamation of disgust, he picked them up and built a neater, more stable pile -- larger books on the bottom, smaller on top, papers neatly aligned in a separate pile next to the books. As he smoothed out one last wrinkled piece of paper -- if Blair had meant to throw it away, he could do so again -- he automatically scanned the words. When his brain caught up with the meaning, Ellison froze, a sick feeling churning in his stomach. Despite some scratchings-out and revisions, the message was clear, and a chill settled on his heart.

                    It's a good life, to follow the wind,
                    To go where the heart desires.
                    The world will give, to a friend of the wind,
                    Hidden arts and secret fires.
                                  For the wind sings a song,
                                  And the world plays along
                    With the voice of a heavenly choir.


A bleak realization filled him as the page crumpled in his clenched fist; Blair was thinking of leaving. Maybe not right away, or he'd have said something, but wasn't poetry supposed to be the mirror of the soul, or something like that? If the kid was writing about following the wind and going 'where the heart desires', he must be getting restless. And who could blame him, being stuck working with a man whose senses hampered as much as they helped, instead of trotting off to Borneo and other exotic places where he could function as an anthropologist instead of a nursemaid. Who knew how many expeditions Blair had turned down since that day he'd passed himself off as an 'expert' to help a dysfunctional sentinel? Jim knew of only the one, but surely there'd been other offers...

Wearily, feeling ninety years old, he replaced the page on top of the pile of papers, smoothing it out mindlessly. He left the room, closing the door gently and carefully, as if to avoid disturbing someone asleep, and wandered almost blindly onto the balcony. His 'aerie', as Sandburg had dubbed it, usually gave him a sense of peace and helped him think.

But he didn't want to think; it would be too painful. He watched a sparrow land in the gutter at the end of the block, and clearly saw the large crumb it picked up from some child's dropped and smashed cookie. A clicking of toenails on concrete drew his focus to Mrs. Blumenfeld walking her terrier mutt; the acrid odor was easily discernable as it marked its territory against the lamppost.

Sandburg gave me this, Jim realized. I can control my senses, instead of being ambushed and blindsided by them, and it's all thanks to one hyperactive, fast-talking anthropologist.

And that was the problem, wasn't it? Blair must be feeling that he had completed his part of their agreement and, if he wasn't finished writing his dissertation yet, he surely didn't have to be living in Jim's back pocket to get it done. Blair wouldn't regard his plans to leave as -- deserting Jim; he probably saw it as just moving on to the next job.

Intellectually, Jim knew he should let Sandburg go, that he should be grateful for what he had and happy that Blair would be advancing his own career. But he had an uneasy, gut-level suspicion that his senses were under control only because Blair was still around. Jim was almost certain that, without the support and grounding -- the guidance -- that his partner gave him on a daily basis, even as informal as it often was, his so-called control would soon be thin and tattered, and essentially useless to him. Much as he hated to admit it, he needed the other man, but not only as a guide. Jim was -- and probably always would be -- essentially a loner, but in Blair he'd found a congenial and valued companion. He needed the friendship that Blair so freely offered, the emotional warmth that was so generously given, the exuberant connection to life that was so much a part of Blair's fundamental nature; he realized he'd feel bereft without Blair's presence in his life.

But friendship wasn't enough, Jim thought bleakly; people always left, no matter how close the friendship supposedly was. And Blair had been raised with the concept of 'detach with love'; the distancing of their friendship probably wouldn't bother him at all. Especially since -- looked at from Blair's perspective -- Jim's friendship was a grumbling series of 'stay in the truck, Sandburg', and 'you're not a cop, Sandburg', as well as a string of not-so-subtle digs about his food, clothes, car, hair, women, general interests, living habits... Not to mention the automatic resistance Jim raised every time his guide wanted to test his senses, or suggested new ways of using them.

No wonder the kid's thinking of leaving; I'll bet he feels like he's living in a prison camp instead of a 'home'. Hell, that's why I left home; why should Sandburg be any different? But, God, he wished the kid wouldn't go; wished he had some way of convincing Sandburg to stay around, at least until he finished his thesis and his doctorate was official. Maybe --

Jim cocked his head as he heard the distinctive beat of the Corvair's engine, five blocks away, turn onto Prospect. Okay, lunchtime, then the Jags game. And, starting right now, he was instituting 'Operation Make Sandburg Want to Stay'; he wouldn't let his friend leave without a fight, undercover though the battle would be.



Sunday

"So, Sandburg, got any plans for this afternoon?"

"Not much; maybe a little grading, but that can wait. Do you need help with something?"

"I just thought we might go by AutoZone, get some spark plugs, oil, and a filter. Your car's sounding a bit ragged, and I don't want to have to come haul your ass out of the seedy part of town if it breaks down. I figured I'd do a minor tune-up -- change the oil, spark plugs, set the timing -- and you could help me use my senses to tell when everything's adjusted correctly."

"Cool!" Blair's eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. "Man, that would be so awesome! But you know I'm gonna ask where you learned to do mechanic's work."

Jim grabbed his keys and ushered Blair to the door. "It's no secret, Chief. The guys in the Army motorpool are often backed up, just like everyone else. So when your life might depend on your vehicle not breaking down as you get the hell out of a nasty situation, you learn to do your own basic maintenance, or at least be able to check that everything's A-OK before you start the mission. I remember one time..."

They headed down the stairs, Blair's attention firmly fixed on Jim, drinking in every word. It wasn't often that his friend was this forthcoming, and he treasured every chance to learn more about the man and what made him tick. He shoved the need to grade student essays to the back of his mind. The insight into his sentinel's previous life was worth staying up late to get the grading done, and he'd be getting a tune-up on the Corvair as well; couldn't beat that with a stick.



Monday

Jim finished proofreading his report, hit 'Send', then stretched weary muscles as the printer started spitting out the pages. It had been a helluva day; they'd finally nabbed the lowlife creep, but it had taken long hours to do so, and Sandburg had been with him every step of the way. Now his friend was sitting at Dills' desk, busily grading classwork while waiting, but he looked tired. Jim glanced at the clock and frowned; no wonder. He hadn't realized it was so late -- 7:35 PM -- and they hadn't eaten yet. He noticed Sandburg's stomach rumbling in irritation; it was loud enough to be heard even without sentinel senses.

"Time to pack it up, Chief. I know it's your night to cook, but you're bushed, and I sure as hell don't feel like it. What do you say we stop on the way home, have a nice quiet meal, no dishes to wash. My treat."

Blair looked up and blinked in confusion while he made the mental shift from anthropological essays to the mundane, but important, trivia of life. "Uh, well..." He hesitated to throw Jim's offer back in his face, but... "I'm sorry, man, but I just don't think I can face WonderBurger tonight. Just the smell of the grease will --" He shrugged, letting Jim fill in the blanks.

"Yeah, buddy, it's been a hard day," he agreed. "WonderBurger might be a little heavy even for me tonight." He grinned at Blair's incredulous look. "I was thinking of that new health food restaurant over on Grand. Thought you might want to give it a try."

"You? In Healthy Choices? I dunno, man, it might bring about the downfall of Western civilization. I can't see you chowing down on a salad of tofu and bean sprouts, you know?" He chuckled at the image of Jim Ellison primly eating such a concoction, pinky finger daintily raised in affected elegance.

Ellison favored him with a mock glare. "Sandburg, I have been known to eat a few green things in my time. Besides," he shrugged, "I'm assuming they have to serve some kind of meat, even if it's labeled 'healthy' -- ostrich burgers or buffalo steak, or something like that. So, what d'ya say? Healthy Choices, or leftover chicken cacciatore at home?"

"It's good chicken cacciatore, man!" Blair reminded his friend. "But hey, I can't refuse an offer like that. Lead on, McDuff; I'm with you all the way."

Blair gathered up his books and papers and stuffed them in his backpack while Jim shut down his computer and put the finished report in Rhonda's 'In' basket. They headed for the parking garage together, anticipating a relaxing evening and a tasty meal shared with a good friend.



Tuesday

Blair hurried into the loft, vividly aware of the ticking of a mental clock. He really wanted to attend that lecture tonight, and he had exactly twenty minutes to shower and change and get out of here if he wanted to be there on time. Dr. Fujiyama's expertise was renowned; his talk on 'Daily Living Customs of the Jarawas Tribes Before Their Contact with Western Civilization' should be fascinating. Blair intended to not miss one single word.

He tossed his backpack on the bed and hurriedly stripped, kicking everything into the 'dirty clothes' corner. He yanked open the drawer to grab clean boxers and socks, and paused. He didn't even own that many pairs of boxers, or socks. Surely Jim couldn't have accidentally combined their piles when he did the laundry?

A closer examination revealed that that was not the case; the boxers were his size and brand, and the socks were -- WOW! -- argyles, also in his size. Either they had house-fairies, or Jim was feeling generous for some reason.

But now was not the time to wonder what was up; he'd already wasted a whole minute in considering the puzzle. Making a mental note to ask Jim about it later, he clutched the needed items and dashed toward the bathroom. Seventeen minutes left...



Wednesday

Ellison pulled into a parking space near the loft, congratulating himself on his good planning. He'd take advantage of Sandburg's being out on a 'study-date' to sneak a supply of the kid's favorite organic snacks into the cupboards. Blair rarely had enough money to buy the expensive treats, preferring to use his funds for books, but he'd enjoy them if they were available.

As Jim neatly stowed away the apricot-coconut fruit and nut bars, the Lushus Lemon energy bars, the oat 'n honey granola bars, and the more ordinary organically-grown apples, mangos, and oranges, he couldn't help wondering if his efforts had had an effect yet; was Sandburg still feeling the wanderlust that his poem had indicated? True, the past few days probably weren't enough to change his mind, but it couldn't hurt to scope out the lay of the land. Could it?

He pushed open the door to Sandburg's room, resisting the urge to glance over his shoulder. The kid wouldn't be home for hours and besides, if he did come home early, Jim's hearing would give him early warning.

Resolutely quashing the guilty feelings, Jim flipped through Sandburg's notebooks -- and there it was. His stomach clenched as he saw that accursed poem again; a new verse had been added.

                    It's a hard life to follow the wind,
                    But there's beauty along that road.
                    It's a lifelong journey that has no end,
                    And little peace does it hold.
                                  For the wind will call,
                                  And hold him in thrall,
                    With no release till he's old.


Well. He'd known it was too early for results. Jim heaved an unconscious sigh, mentally renewing his resolve. He'd just have to work harder. Sandburg had to want to stay; Jim would just have to provide enough incentives to change his mind. There simply couldn't be another outcome.



Thursday

Blair hurried through the doors of Major Crime, already speaking before the doors closed behind him. "Jim, man, I am soooo sorry! I left Rainier on time, I swear I did, but there was a big traffic holdup on Fairmount. You'll never believe it -- an egg truck overturned; broken eggs all over the place, and the truck was laying crossways across both lanes, so no vehicles could go past. And not only was cleanup being hampered by the usual looky-loos, there were at least a dozen cats and dogs trying to lap up a free lunch -- makes you wonder where they all came from, not to mention why the dogs didn't chase away the cats, but I guess the eggs were more enticing than inter-species antagonism -- and every time someone shooed them away, they just ran around and came back from the other side. What a mess! Literally." He grinned as he hung his backpack on the coat-rack and crossed to Jim's desk. "Anyway, by the time I realized I was driving into a jam, there were people behind me and I couldn't back up. It took traffic control half an hour to get the backlog untangled so that we could detour around it. And then when I tried to call you, I found out I left my cellphone at home this morning, and I knew you'd be steaming, but I really couldn't help it, and do you think we still have time for that interview you wanted to do?" He sank into the chair next to the desk, combing his hair into place with agitated fingers.

"Breathe, Sandburg," Jim said automatically, as he gathered the pages from the printer. "I heard about the traffic jam, and since I know you usually take Fairmount, I called and rescheduled. So it all worked out; gave me a chance to finish this report, and you're right on time for us to make the interview. And your cellphone's in my coat pocket; I saw it and grabbed it on my way out this morning."

"Uh, Jim?" Sandburg seemed confused, glancing uncertainly around the bullpen, as if searching for an answer to one of life's mysteries. "Don't take this the wrong way or anything, and I know it's not my fault, but -- why aren't you yelling? The last thing you said this morning was, 'Not a minute past two, Sandburg; this is important'. And I promised, and I really tried, but it's..." he glanced at the clock, "...two thirty-five, and you're not even clenching your teeth. Did you win the lottery or something?"

"Geeze, Sandburg, can't a guy be considerate of his friends? I identified a potential problem, took steps to solve it, and used the unexpected time to get some work done, so there's nothing to yell about. But I will if it'll make you feel better." Jim winked at his friend's slightly-stunned expression. "How about this?" He assumed a threatening scowl as he summoned his best 'drill-sergeant bark'. "Sandburg, get off your ass, grab your backpack and let's go; we have an appointment to keep!"

Blair snickered at the ridiculousness of the situation and snapped a sharp salute. "Aye, aye, SIR! Whatever you say, SIR! And may I say, happy to see you in such fine form, SIR!"

"I'll 'sir' you, Private." The mock growl was accompanied by an equally mock swat toward Blair's head. "Move it, or I'll make you eat WonderBurger tonight."

"No, no, anything but that!" Blair replied in a quavering falsetto. "I'll come quietly, officer, I swear!" He followed his partner out of the bullpen; his focus on the upcoming interview made him forget his curiosity about Jim's recent change of attitude.



Friday


                    Who follows the wind has little rest,
                    He finds no place to pause.
                    But he knows the wond'rous world at its best;
                    He lives by Nature's laws.
                                  He sees great things,
                                  And lives on dreams,
                    But often, dreams have flaws.


While Jim set the table, Blair poured the spaghetti into the colander to drain, then reached into the oven to pull out the garlic bread and carry it to the table. Jim started to slice the bread as Blair filled two plates with the spaghetti, then ladled a generous amount of meat sauce over each, topped with five meatballs on Jim's plate, and two on his.

It had been a good week, Blair mused as he sat down. Jim's cases had gone well, and the usual petty politics at Rainier had been at a low ebb. And now he could look forward to a good meal with his best friend, followed by watching the Jags -- hopefully -- bust the Chicago Bulls' collective butt. A man couldn't ask for much more than that.

Best of all, Jim had seemed more... open, more forthcoming this week than Blair had ever known him. Maybe he was finally settling into an acceptance of his sentinel senses, with a corresponding relaxation of a subtle tension that Blair hadn't known was present. Or maybe, as their friendship became stronger, Jim was just relaxing some unconscious but ever-present defenses that he used to keep the world at a 'safe' distance. Whatever, Blair thought as their conversation ranged from the latest closed case to the Jags' chances of winning to 'classic' cars (in the truest sense) to some of his previous anthropological expeditions to Jim's similar experiences in unspecified areas of the world. He wasn't going to question or analyze the change, or the strongest feeling of 'home' he'd had since he was five years old. He'd just enjoy it, and store up pleasant memories for the time when, inevitably, he would have to move on.

Blair got up to pull the key lime pie -- one of Jim's favorites -- from the refrigerator. As he turned back toward the table, he saw the package sitting next to his plate, wrapped in plain brown paper. He set the pie on the table, then paused. A slight frown creased his forehead as he glanced from Jim's oh-so-innocent expression to the package, and back to his friend. "Okay, Jim, what's going on?" he asked, suspicion coloring his tone.

"Happy early birthday, Chief. And is that the way your mother taught you to accept a gift?" The twinkle in his eye belied Ellison's scolding words. "You said it was such a good buy that it'd probably be sold before you could afford it, so I decided it deserved to go to someone who would really appreciate it -- like you."

Hardly daring to believe, Blair sat down and picked up the package, stroking a loving hand over the wrapping. "Jim, man... I don't know what to say. You shouldn't have," he breathed. "I mean, of course I appreciate it, but it's just too much."

Ellison could no longer keep the broad grin off his face. "In the first place, Sandburg, I decide what's 'too much', and this isn't it. In the second place, you don't even know what you're thanking me for. You might find it's just a bigger notebook to keep data in about my cases when we're in the field, and be really pissed."

"Never," Blair said fervently. "You... you... ah, hell, anything I say will sound sappy. But it means a lot that you were thinking of me. It could be a book on 'Tatting for Grannies' and it wouldn't change that you thought of me. But if you insist..." With sudden energy, he ripped off the paper to find, as he had known he would, a first-edition copy of Medicine Men on the North Pacific Coast by Marius Barbeau. He'd wanted to buy it for the past two months, and Jim had heard several low-key grumbles about his inability to manage the funds. "Jim," he said quietly, "this is just... just..."

"Well, now the mystery is solved," Ellison teased. "Under the right circumstances, it is possible to reduce Blair Sandburg to speechlessness. Who would'a thought?" Becoming serious, he continued, "You're worth it, Chief. I don't say 'thanks' enough, but I really do appreciate you sticking by me through all this sentinel shit. I hope you'll remember that the next time I grump at you.

"And now, enough of this sappy stuff," he announced. "The game starts in twenty minutes. Let's do the dishes, then eat our pie while we're watching, what d'ya say?"

"Sounds like a plan; I got your back."

Working in harmony, they quickly cleaned the kitchen, then settled on the couch in front of the TV, each with a large slice of pie instead of their usual popcorn. Once again Blair wondered about the new 'Jim-openness', but shelved the thought in favor of cheering as Orvelle Wallace made his first basket.



Saturday

"See you later, Jim. I figure, after the study session is over, I'll swing by the farmer's market and see what's fresh, bring something home for supper. Should be back about four, okay?"

"Sounds good, Sandburg. I'll enjoy the peace and quiet while you're out." He grinned at the answering snort as Blair walked out the door, then went back to reading the latest copy of 'US News and World Report'.

A few moments later, Sandburg's voice drifted up from the street. "Shit! Shit, shit, shit! And dammit-it-all-to-hell!"

Jim walked out onto the balcony and looked down. He saw Blair rooting in the trunk of the Corvair, finally emerging with a tire-iron clutched in his hand. "Sandburg?" he called. "You got a flat?"

"Yeah, Jim; the off rear. Why the hell do these things never happen at a convenient time?" He lifted the spare tire out of the trunk as he spoke.

"Sandburg, is there ever a convenient time to have a flat?" He shook his head in amusement, crossed to the basket by the door, grabbed his own keys, and walked back to the balcony. "Hey, buddy, c'mere a minute."

Blair looked up, frowning in irritation. "What? I don't have time to 'c'mere', I have to get this tire changed." But, even as he spoke, he walked closer to the building, until he was almost under the balcony.

Jim dangled his keys so that Blair could see them. "Why don't you take the truck? Leave your keys in the Corvair; I'll come down and change the tire, then take the flat to George's place and have him fix it for you." He dropped the keys, and watched as Blair's hands automatically came forward to catch them.

"Are you serious, man? I mean, I really appreciate it, but this is hardly a matter of life or death. I thought no one was allowed to touch your truck short of that, or an Act of Congress. Are you feeling all right?"

"Feeling just fine, Sandburg, although you won't be if you damage it, so be careful."

Blair grabbed his backpack from the Corvair, and grinned at his friend as he crossed to the truck. "Jim, you are a prince! Yes, I'll be careful, and I'll think of some way to repay you. Thanks, man."

"Cherry pie for dessert!" he called down, and saw Sandburg raise a hand in acknowledgement as he drove away.

Ten minutes later, Jim frowned as he examined the state of the Corvair's tires. He hadn't noticed that the tread was getting so worn; the damn things were an accident looking for a place to happen. It was a safe bet that Sandburg hadn't noticed either. Or maybe he was just hoping they'd hold together until he had enough money to buy some better used tires; a brand new set would be out of his price-range.

But these tires were a direct danger to his friend and guide; Jim hated the thought of him driving on them any longer. Jim had three hours; he could take the Corvair to Tire-World and have them replaced. He'd think of some way to justify it to Blair. The question was -- brand new, or good used? Would it make any difference to the level of pissiness that Blair might feel if he thought that Jim was 'treating him like a child', or something equally ridiculous?

Brand new, he decided. If, god forbid, his 'campaign' didn't work and Blair left, Jim would feel better knowing that his friend had many more safe miles in his tires. He had three hours to think of a good explanation to deflect Blair's anticipated irritation; surely he could some up with something to satisfy the kid.



Sunday

Blair watched covertly as Jim perused the sports pages of the morning paper while eating his huevos rancheros. Jim had seemed in an unusually good mood lately; maybe he wouldn't protest too much when Blair suggested that it was a good day for some tests. But, in the interests of an optimal resolution -- Jim actually saying 'yes' -- he'd let the man enjoy his breakfast and newspaper in peace before bringing it up.

Finally Jim folded the paper and set it aside, scooped up the last bite of eggs-and-salsa, and drained his coffee cup. He leaned back and regarded his friend, amusement glinting in his eyes. "All right, Sandburg, spit it out. What con are you waiting to spring on me today?"

"Not a con, man!" he protested. "Just -- you know -- I think it's a good day for some tests. We could go to the park, or maybe the beach, practice hearing through the competing noise of all the natural sounds, and switching your vision back and forth between close and distant objects. Nothing outrageous, just... refining your control. I won't always be around, you know; the original idea was for you to learn to handle your senses by yourself, and we need to work toward that."

                    Who follows the wind must love the wind,
                    He knows no other life.
                    He has no time for other friends,
                    Or family, or wife.
                                  The wind unfurls
                                  A glorious world,
                    But demands an entire life.


Once again, Jim felt despair settle in his heart. 'I won't always be around' -- how much plainer could it get? Sandburg was planning to leave although, like the honorable man he was, he intended to make sure he had helped Jim as much as he could before taking off.

He squashed a dishonorable impulse to say 'no'. If he didn't practice, he'd have less control, and Sandburg would feel obligated to stay and continue to help him. But that was a cheap trick to play, and would more than likely come back to bite him in the ass someday. Sandburg was right; he needed to be more independent in the use of his senses. Even if his guide decided to stay, he couldn't be with Jim every minute of every day; Jim had to be able to function on his own as much as possible. Someday a case -- or a life -- might depend on it.

"Sounds like a plan, Sandburg," he said easily; he couldn't let the other man know how the prospect of going it alone terrified him. "Just leave the sour milk at home, okay?"

Blair stared at his friend in dropped-jaw amazement. "That's it?" he demanded. "No grumbling, no griping, no 'not now, Sandburg'? Just, 'okay'?"

"Hell, Sandburg, even if I complained, we both know that you'll eventually talk me into it. I'm just saving us some time." He shrugged. "If it'll make you feel better, I'll make you work for it -- you'll pay for lunch."

A delighted smile crossed Blair's face as he bounced from his chair. "Oh, man, I am down with that! I'll even let you choose the place, and zip my lip if it's WonderBurger." He gathered his breakfast dishes and carried them to the sink. "C'mon, let's get the dishes done and head out; time's a-wastin'!"

Jim stifled a sigh and rose to follow Blair's lead. He didn't know what else he could do to convince Sandburg to stay, but he was determined to think of something. He had to find something to change Blair's mind, or go crazy when he left.



Monday

Jim called up Google, then sat staring at the screen; Sandburg was so much better at searches than he was. How could he find the 'something big' that would knock Blair's socks off, and convince him not to leave? What would mean enough to him?

Well... start with the obvious -- 'anthropology'. He groaned internally. 32,100,000 matches; not much help there. He'd already given Sandburg the book, so another one wouldn't mean much. Maybe if he refined the search with -- 'exhibit'. Better; only 483,000 matches. Now, could he find something within driving distance, and new enough that Blair wouldn't have had a chance to visit it yet? The larger cites were more likely; he tried 'Olympia', and then 'Seattle'.

Yes! Jim felt a surge of satisfaction; apparently he'd learned something from hanging around Sandburg, after all. Now...

It took another thirty minutes, but he finally had a room reserved -- two double beds -- for Saturday and Sunday, and tickets to the exhibit.

Just before he shut down the computer, another thought struck him. Blair might be suspicious if the only reason for leaving town was an exhibit geared to his tastes. Jim needed something else, a more logical reason -- in Blair's eyes -- to entice Jim out of Cascade.

With a sigh, he called up Google again and started another search.



Tuesday

"Sandburg, I think I need a break."

Blair lifted his head from the lesson plans scattered across the kitchen table. Jim was watching the news, but had muted the TV during the commercial break. "Well, I can understand that," he said neutrally. "What did you have in mind?"

"I'm thinking, out of town, so Simon can't call on us if something comes up. I can clear my calendar for this weekend, thought you might like to come along."

"Fishing?"

"Actually, something a little more urban -- Seattle."

Blair snorted. "Jim, trading one big city for another can hardly be considered a 'break'. C'mon, give. What's in Seattle that you're interested in?"

"There's a classic car show on Sunday, everything from the early nineteen hundreds to nineteen-sixty-five. I figured we could do that in the morning, then find a museum or something that you'd enjoy after lunch."

Blair considered for a moment, then shook his head. "Thanks, Jim, but I've seen museums before, and a classic car show isn't that big a deal for me. You must get tired of me hanging around all the time; I'll just stay here and catch up on my schoolwork. Why don't you ask Simon, or maybe Joel?"

Jim shook his head; it was amazing that such a smart man worried about 'intruding', instead of recognizing that he was wanted. "Okay, Sandburg, you're ruining my surprise, but I guess it's the only way to get you there. There's a big anthropology / archaeology exhibit opening on Friday, and I've already got the tickets, and reserved a room for the weekend. You could have a blast wandering around there on Saturday, and if you're not interested in the car show, we could find something else for Sunday. Just two friends hanging out, taking it easy. We both need it, so what d'ya say?"

Blair's eyes narrowed as he stared at Jim. He chewed his lip in deep thought, then slowly rose and approached his friend, laying a palm on Jim's forehead. "Okay, you don't have a fever, but this is hardly in character. So, who are you, and what have you done with Jim Ellison?"

Jim batted the hand aside, and rose to his feet to face Blair. He drew 'offended' around him like a cloak; 'attack' was a better position for a confrontation than 'defend'. "What? I was just trying to plan a much-needed break for both of us, something that we'd both enjoy. Can't a man be considerate of his friends?"

Blair snorted and threw his hands in the air. "Yes, a man can be 'considerate of his friends'. Even tough-guy Jim Ellison is considerate of his friends, but he's usually a lot more low-key about it. This is just 'out there', you know?" He cast his mind back, trying to remember. "I mean, in the past ten days, you haven't uttered one single irritated word in my direction. You've tuned up the Corvair, put new tires on it, treated me to a dinner that's not WonderBurger, and it had to be you who stocked the cupboard with my favorite snacks -- I didn't put 'em there, and I quit believing in the tooth fairy a long time ago. On top of that, you loaded my drawer with new underwear -- underwear for god's sake -- bought me a book I've been lusting after for two months, didn't bitch about testing your senses, and now this. It's too much, man; if I didn't know you're straight as an arrow, I'd think you were... were... wooing me, and that's just crazy! It's not Jim Ellison; it's not even 'average American male', so I gotta ask again, what's going on?!?"

Ellison clenched his jaw as he stared at his irate friend, desperately seeking an answer, any answer, that would satisfy Sandburg other than the real one. "Protection," he supplied, turning away and staring resolutely out the balcony doors. Inadequate, but it stopped Blair in his tracks.

"Protection?" He was puzzled, examining all aspects of that idea, until outraged disbelief signified his sudden understanding. "Protection! What, I'm some mob boss that you have to pay off so I'll feel generous enough to pull you out of a zone before a bullet takes you? You can't be serious, man!" Blair began pacing as he tried to work through his agitation; Jim turned to watch him, unable to think of anything to say that might head off the approaching train-wreck. "When have I ever stinted in giving you the very best backup I know how to give, or indicated that I'm not totally invested in helping you make the sentinel thing work? We're friends Jim; doesn't that concept mean anything to you?" Blair was sputtering in his anger, hands waving wildly in emphatic punctuation of his words until he spun around and advanced on Ellison like a wolf stalking its prey, finally poking a firm finger into his friend's chest. He continued his tirade while the larger man stood silent in appalled fascination, watching the finger as it attacked, retreated, and attacked again.

"I am sick and tired"  (poke)  "of you always"  (poke)  "acting like friendship"  (poke)  "is a commodity."  (poke, poke)  "You've got to learn"  (poke)  "that friends stick together,"  (poke)  "and monetary compensation"  (poke)  "has nothing to do with it."  (poke)  "In fact, your attitude"  (poke)  "is an insult!" Blair pulled back and stared fiercely into Ellison's eyes. "So tell me, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry," Jim whispered, closing his eyes as he saw his world start to crash. He'd made such a mess of things; Blair would be certain to leave now. "I didn't mean... I only wanted..." He faltered into silence, unable to find words of explanation in the face of Sandburg's wrath.

It was enough; Blair's anger dissipated as he realized that something was actually wrong, and Jim was hurting. "Ah, man, I'm sorry, too," he sighed. "I shouldn't have blown up like that. Let's sit down and discuss this calmly, and you can tell me what's going on." He gave Jim a gentle shove to encourage him toward the couch, then made a detour through the kitchen to grab a couple of beers before sitting sideways on the arm of the couch to face his friend. He handed one of the beers to Jim, and each man took a fortifying gulp.

"Okay," Blair said easily, "it's obvious that you've gotten some wild hair up your ass. Tell me about it, and let's get this mess cleared up."

Jim sighed, and stared at the bottle he was rolling between his hands. There was no way out of this; any attempt to shade the issue would be worse than the truth. "I found that poem," he admitted, "and I thought you wanted to leave, and I was trying to make you want to stay."

"What poem?" Blair's face showed his confusion; apparently he had no idea what Jim was talking about.

"The wind one." No reaction. "The one that talks about wandering around the world, following the wind." Blair's jaw dropped as understanding dawned. "I thought it meant you were feeling tied down, and you'd pick up and move on, and I... just didn't want to face that." The beer bottle was obviously fascinating, as he focused on it and avoided looking at his friend. "I know you've done a lot to help me, and I thought you might figure you were finished, but I really don't think I can do it without you, so I just... tried to give you reasons to stay." Finally he glanced toward Blair, needing to see his friend's reaction.

"Jim, Jim, Jim-Jim-Jim," Blair sighed, slowly shaking his head. "Man, you have got to learn to talk about things; look at all the grief you'd save yourself. That poem is just a contest entry! The Lit Club is hosting a poetry competition, instructors against students; I figured I'd get some brownie points by participating."

Hope blossomed slowly. "That's it?"

"That's it. Nothing more than an exercise in meter and rhyme, and tuggin' the ol' heartstrings so my entry might be more memorable and maybe have a better chance of winning."

"But the theme you chose... I figured it was probably expressing your real feelings." He had to know. "Even if they're kind of hidden, the feelings have to be there for you to write about them, don't they?"

Blair paused with the bottle halfway to his mouth, and lowered it slowly. He couldn't lie; the sentinel would know. "Yeah," he conceded reluctantly, "the feelings are there; springtime has always been a time when Naomi and I would pick up and go. And I have to admit, I thought about it last week... Nothing permanent, just a short travel-break," he hastened to assure the rigid form in front of him. "It lasted for like, five minutes tops before I shelved the idea. There'll be other years, and other chances to travel. But until you have a really good grasp on handling your senses, I'm here for you. Nothing has changed, Jim," he said earnestly. "Nothing will change. It's still about friendship, and friends don't run out on each other." He turned a challenging glare on his sentinel, almost daring him to protest. "Ya' got that?"

Ellison returned the stare with his own searching look, evaluating the depth of commitment behind Sandburg's eyes. What he saw reassured him. There might come a time when Sandburg would pack up and leave, but that time wouldn't be soon; he fully intended to stay until Jim was comfortable with his enhanced senses. The tight muscles in his neck and shoulders relaxed with his relief. "Yeah," he acknowledged, "I got that."

"Good." Blair nodded sharply. "So you'll go back to treating me like a friend and partner, instead of a skittish would-be lover, right?"

"Right," Jim agreed. "Except..." Blair's raised eyebrow dared him to continue his 'wooing' attempts, but he forged valiantly ahead. "Look, Sandburg, the tickets are already bought; it would be a shame to let them go to waste. I could cancel the room reservation, but I think we should make the trip. We can both use the break. You don't need to think of it as a bribe, just..."

Blair waited, but Jim seemed disinclined to continue. "Just...?" he encouraged.

"Just... thank you." His eyes met Blair's once again, conveying a depth of emotion that he seldom showed. "I really do appreciate your help, Chief, more than I can say."

"Certainly more than you do say," he teased, relaxing in turn. "Okay, Jim, in the spirit of friendship and appreciation, I accept your kind invitation." He raised his bottle in a 'toasting' gesture, which Jim matched with a similar motion. As the bottles met with a ~clink~, Blair offered, "Salud."

"Yeah," Jim said and, together -- almost ceremoniously -- each upended his bottle and drank to the reaffirmation of their friendship.

"So," Jim continued, "you want me to go back to treating you in the 'normal' way, is that it?"

"Yeah, man, I think it's about time, don't you? I mean, it was nice and all, but it's just not you, ya' know?"

"I know, and you're absolutely right. So... Rule forty-two-B, Sandburg; feet belong on the floor, not the couch cushions!"




The wind blows free
Over land and sea;
Who would follow the wind?




The End




Windsong
      by Linda R.
      Spring, 1975



              The wind blows free
              Over land and sea;
              Who would follow the wind?

It's a good life, to follow the wind,
To go where the heart desires.
The world will give, to a friend of the wind,
Hidden arts and secret fires.
              For the wind sings a song,
              And the world plays along
With the voice of a heavenly choir.

It's a hard life to follow the wind,
But there's beauty along that road.
It's a lifelong journey that has no end,
And little peace does it hold.
              For the wind will call,
              And hold him in thrall,
With no release till he's old.

Who follows the wind has little rest,
He finds no place to pause.
But he knows the wond'rous world at its best;
He lives by Nature's laws.
              He sees great things,
              And lives on dreams,
But often, dreams have flaws.

Who follows the wind must love the wind,
He knows no other life.
He has no time for other friends,
Or family, or wife.
              The wind unfurls
              A glorious world,
But demands an entire life.



              The wind blows free
              Over land and sea;
              Who would follow the wind?





Author's Notes

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Title: Glorified Calisthenics
Summary: Blair does a favor for Megan, and Jim learns that some things aren't as easy as he thought.
Style: Gen
Size: 2,265 words, about 5 pages in MS Word
Warnings: None
Notes: Written May, 2002. My very first fic.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Glorified Calisthenics

by StarWatcher





Such a small event, to bring about such a change in attitude...




Once again, the perp chose to run, scrambling down a narrow passageway between two buildings. Once again, Jim 'Never Say Die' Ellison gave chase without waiting for backup. And once again, Blair 'The Guide Protects His Sentinel' Sandburg followed his partner through hell and high water -- or, in this case, through a stinking, refuse-laden alley, and over a sagging (but still stout) eight-foot fence.

It was just a scrap -- the greasy rind of a long-discarded pork chop. As he jumped from the top of the fence, Blair's right foot landed on it and slid out from under his hurtling body. He strained to maintain his balance and -- almost -- succeeded. But gravity, and sore muscles that didn't respond as fluidly as he wished, betrayed Blair's best intentions. Although he remained upright, the snap of the breaking bone was audible even to non-sentinel ears.

The doctor in the ER was indecently cheerful. "He won't have any problem with this," he assured the young man's glowering partner. "It's just a hairline fracture of the fibula -- the smaller bone of the lower leg," he explained to Blair, unsure of how much anatomy his patient knew. "You'll be able to use a walking cast, and you'll be out of it in three weeks; four at the most." He heaved a silent sigh of relief as the tension emanating from the bigger man eased.

Well, that was good news. Blair would still be able to teach his classes -- although someone would have to give him a ride to and from the University -- and a walking cast certainly wouldn't impede his ability to 'help' Jim with his paperwork. Jim reflected that it might even be a minor blessing; Sandburg would have to stay in the truck after calling for backup. Maybe he'd finally learn the sense of staying back and staying safe.

But what would they do about...




Four Days Earlier

"Sandy, are you sure you don't mind doing this?" Connor asked. "I really appreciate the offer to lead my step-aerobics class, but it will be eight classes in two weeks -- and step-aerobics is a lot more strenuous than it looks..."

"No worries, mate," he teased gently. "Mom and I lived six months with a man who owned a women's gym. I helped out after school, and I enjoyed..." he waggled his eyebrows for effect, "...joining in the aerobics classes. It's like riding a bike; you don't forget the basic moves, and you've showed me your routines. I'll be fine."

"Still..." she said doubtfully, "...you haven't done it recently. It's certain you'll be sore at least; I'd hate it if you actually hurt yourself."

"Now Megan, I do know how to stretch and warm up! And my yoga keeps me flexible -- I'm supple enough to keep up with any of your students. Besides, I could use the exercise; it should increase my stamina. Just watch -- the next time we play basketball, I'll run rings around all the big strapping jocks, and I'll have you to thank for it. Now quit fussing and go; enjoy your vacation."

"That's right, Connor," Jim assured her. "You know he only wants a chance to add some numbers to his 'little black book'. He'll be okay; it won't be any worse than a brisk round of calisthenics." Ignoring Megan's beginning bristle, he smirked at Blair. "I just can't wait to see him in a cute little leotard. I'm sure the ladies will love it. What color Chief -- blue, to match your eyes?"

Blair snorted his disgust. "You know, Jim, Connor's right; step-aerobics only looks wishy-washy to those who haven't tried it. It actually takes a lot of stamina and endurance. Why don't you join me? You might be surprised; it would be a good addition to your usual gym workouts."

"I don't think so, Chief; I've got no problem with 'stamina and endurance', and I don't need to parade around in skimpy shorts to attract the ladies. But I'll be sure to save you some hot water to help loosen those muscles when you get home."




Two days after Blair had made his confident promise, Jim watched his partner as he slowly shuffled to the breakfast table and carefully lowered himself into his seat, not quite able to suppress a low moan. The man was obviously stiff and sore after the exertion of the exercise class the evening before. Although he sympathized, he couldn't pass up such a prime opportunity. "What happened, Chief?" he teased. "I thought stretching and warm-ups and hot showers were supposed to prevent this sort of thing."

"Oh, can it, Jim," Blair replied sourly. "I told you that it's more strenuous than it looks. It'll just take my body a little while to adjust to the increased level of exertion. The stiffness'll ease up as I move around during the day."

And it did, but not as much as either man would have hoped. Throughout the day, Jim was aware of each stifled grunt as sore muscles resisted movement, of each shift in body position that was restricted as nagging twinges imposed unaccustomed limits. By late afternoon, the situation didn't seem worthy of teasing any more; his friend was in pain. "Hey, Chief," he offered softly, "the class doesn't meet tonight, does it? Suppose I give you a nice, deep massage after your shower this evening? -- loosen up those muscles so you can get a good night's sleep and be ready to show them your moves again tomorrow night."

"Really? Oh, man, that would feel so good. I'd forgotten how much of a workout these kinds of classes really are. I could use a little help until I get back in the groove." He paused, then continued, "But, you know, Jim, these classes really do help improve lung capacity and increase endurance and --"

"Give it a rest, Sandburg," Jim growled. "You don't try to drag me to that class, and I won't tell the guys that you're having trouble keeping up with a bunch of women."

"Jim, I'm telling you, if you went, I think you'd be surprised at the level of fitness that is exhibited by that 'bunch of women'. You know --"

"Enough, Chief. Let's just finish up this paperwork and see if we can't get out of here a little early."




Neither man felt like cooking, so they stopped and picked up Chinese-To-Go from Mi Won's. After dinner, Blair stood under a shower spray that he turned nearly to scalding. ("Use as much as you want, Chief; I can wait a couple of hours until the water's hot again.") Finally, he pulled down the covers on his bed, and spread out a large beach towel to protect the sheets. With a soft groan, he lay prone on the welcoming softness, already feeling muscles starting to loosen from the effects of the hot water.

"You ready, Chief?" Jim asked unnecessarily as he brought the massage oil into the room. "Just relax; I promise you'll feel better when I'm finished." Sentinel-sensitive fingers went to work, locating and relieving each small knot, loosening and soothing each tight muscle. Legs, back, shoulders, arms -- Jim carefully ministered to each part of his friend's aching body. An hour later, Blair had been reduced to a softly-snoring puddle of relaxed contentment. Jim pulled the blankets up, turned out the light, and closed the door gently behind him as he left his friend to his rest.




The next morning, Jim was pleased to see his partner moving around with -- almost -- his normal bounce. "So, Chief, feeling better?" he asked, as he placed the scrambled eggs and toasted bagel in front of the younger man.

"Oh yeah, man, much better! I really appreciate that massage last night. I'm just a little stiff now -- it should work out during the day, and I'll be good to go for class this evening. Let's just avoid any footraces or obstacle courses today, what d'ya say?"

"You got it, good buddy," Jim assured him with a grin.

Alas; Fate, and the criminal element of Cascade, didn't cooperate with their plans.



After The ER; Back At The Loft

"Jim, I can still lead Megan's class. I'll take it easy -- sort of just 'outline' the moves and keep them to the rhythm. It's not like I'm stuck on crutches; the cast will give me enough support to get through it."

"Not on your life, Sandburg. Take note -- you have a walking cast, not a 'bouncing-kicking-dancing' cast. And the doctor said that, even with a walking cast on, you should rest the leg as much as possible. An aerobics class does not qualify! The ladies can go it alone until Megan gets back -- they surely know the routine well enough to manage without a leader for the next few classes."

"Well, yeah, probably... but that's not the point! Having a recognized leader gives cohesion to the whole, transforms the group into a single unit rather than a mass of individuals. You should understand that Jim; I bet it's a lot like marching with the drill instructor marking the beat. It can be done without, but it's so much better with! And besides, I promised Megan; I don't want to let her down."

Jim sighed. He knew that he could listen to the argument all night -- and probably every day until Connor returned -- or he could give in semi-gracefully, help out his friend, and restore peace to the house. "Okay, let's do it like this," he offered. "You coach me through the moves here in private. I'll go and lead the class. You can come and sit on the sidelines and talk me through the routine if I get mixed up. But I warn you, Sandburg," he added, scowling fiercely, "you - stay - in - the - chair! If you get up to demonstrate anything to anybody, we're out of there; the women can do without you, me, and Megan until she returns!"

Undaunted, Blair grinned at his partner. "Oh, man, that would be great! But are you sure? Like I said, step-aerobics is a lot more strenu-"

"Sandburg," Jim growled, "it's just glorified calisthenics. I can do glorified calisthenics! Now quit wasting time and start explaining the routine."




Jim dragged himself into the loft, feeling rode hard and put away wet. Every muscle was hurting; he ached in places he didn't know he had. Only his pride kept him from moaning pitifully and leaning on his partner to aid his progress across the floor. He knew that he deserved every 'I told you so' that must be buzzing in Sandburg's head. "An hour and a half, Chief," he groused. "Ninety freakin' minutes! Every other gym class lasts just fifty minutes, but no-o-o, those Amazons signed up for ninety! And not a single one of them willing to slow down and ease up, even a little. I swear, they were all kicked out of drill instructor school for being too tough! What makes them think they need extra conditioning?"

Far from being smug, Blair's voice was softly apologetic. "Honest, Jim, I am sorry. I really thought that all the gym workouts you do -- and your military background with calisthenics -- would... well..."

"Keep me from making a fool of myself? Well, I escaped that -- just barely -- thanks to your advice and support, Chief. But now I know how you felt the other night. At least you managed to get out of bed the next morning; I'm not sure I'll be able to."

"Sure you will," Blair soothed. "I recommend Doctor Ellison's remedy -- a long hot shower followed by a nice, deep massage. Go, use up all the hot water, and afterward I'll meet you upstairs to return the favor you gave me last night."

"Chief --"

"Jim, it's a walking cast. I can manage one flight of stairs, and I don't need my foot to give you a massage. Go on; the sooner you start, the quicker I'll be able to help you."

Jim gave up; Blair was right -- a massage would feel good. He reveled in the hot water for thirty glorious minutes, then climbed carefully to his bedroom. Blair had spent the time preparing a cozy haven -- the blankets were pulled back, a large beach towel protected the sheets, and the massage oil was warming in a pan of hot water. With a soft groan, Jim lay prone on the welcoming softness, silently thanking Heaven for such a loyal, thoughtful friend.

"Tell you what, Chief," he sighed, "I'll make a deal with you. You don't tell any of the guys about this -- especially Megan -- and I promise never to denigrate women's exercise classes ever again. I'll even admit that you were right, but only if you never tell another soul that I said it."

"Shh," Blair murmured. "Just relax; I promise you'll feel better when I'm finished." He knelt on the bed next to his Sentinel. His gentle fingers went to work, locating and relieving each small knot, loosening and soothing each tight muscle. Legs, back, shoulders, arms -- Blair carefully ministered to each part of his friend's aching body. An hour later, Jim had been reduced to a softly-snoring puddle of relaxed contentment. Blair pulled the blankets up, turned out the light, and walked quietly down the stairs as he left his friend to his rest.



The End




Author's Notes

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Title: Stakeout
Summary: Blair is bored; Jim gets his man.
Style: Gen
Size: 2,280 words, about 5 pages in MS Word
Warnings: None
Notes: January, 2005
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Stakeout

by StarWatcher





Jim had driven the classic blue-and-white pickup truck into its accustomed spot three hours previously. A chain-link fence overgrown with honeysuckle vines screened them from casual view of the house, but Jim could enhance his vision to see clearly through the gaps; nothing would go down without him being aware of it.

"This is gettin' old, Jim." For Blair, the alley offered no interesting views to divert him, even given the light of a three-quarters moon in a cloudless sky.

"S-O-P, Chief. This is the part of police work that doesn't make it into the TV programs. Gotta be done, though."

"What's the longest stakeout you've ever been on? How long do you watch before giving up?"

"Longest I've been on was eight days, back when I was in Vice. Round-the-clock watching till we caught the scum. Longest I've heard of was eleven days. Giving up depends on how important the case is, or if we get a more solid break, or how much manpower we can spare from other cases."

"Jeez." Blair lapsed back into staring out the window of the truck, across the dimly-seen alley, at the vine-covered fence that effectively screened his normal vision from the house where nothing was happening... where nothing had happened for the past three nights during their watch, or any other watch. He sighed deeply; even his normal font of verbosity had finally dried up.

"Not bored, are ya', Chief?" Jim's voice was entirely unsympathetic.

"Yeah, man, what do you expect? Four nights of the same damn thing, staring at the same damn fence -- hell, I know each leaf on that vine by its given name!"

Jim snorted. "You're not lookin' hard enough; I know each spider and ladybug that makes its home on the leaves. Like I said -- one of the joys of policework."

Sandburg shifted restlessly. He could be still for long periods of time -- like, when he was meditating, or hanging on the words of a tribal elder speaker as he recounted his people's history. But he couldn't meditate here; as closely as Jim was using his vision and hearing, he might need Blair to prevent a zoneout. And there wasn't a tribal elder or speaker within... well, the Tulalip Indian reservation wasn't all that far from Cascade, but they certainly weren't within speaking distance. He sighed deeply, slumped down in the seat, and started banging his head softly against the back cushion.

"Cut it out, Chief. You're worse than a kid on a cross-country trip."

"I feel like a kid on a cross-country trip," he groused. He pitched his voice to a child-like whine. "Is anything happ'nin' yet? I want somethin' to dooo!"

Jim snorted again. "This from a man who never has enough time in the day to finish all his work. What about grading papers, or doing lesson plans, or studying for your classes? I know the batteries in your light are still good." He glanced at the miniature portable reading light he'd surprised the kid with a few weeks previously. If Sandburg was going to join him on stakeouts, things would go smoother for both of them if he could use his time productively. It certainly helped to save wear and tear on Jim's nerves if Blair had something to occupy his mind.

"Done, done, and done. It's amazing how much paperwork can get taken care of in three nights of nothin' else to do. Shoulda' brought a deck of cards, or the Scrabble game."

Jim's voice conveyed his amusement. "Chief, with all your studying of primitive tribes, you should understand this concept. It's not so different from hunting, and lying in wait for the game to get close enough to kill. The hunter -- that's me, in case you miss the point -- can't afford to let his attention wander from his intended target -- which is that house over there, and the piece of scum inside. Even if we had cards or Scrabble, I wouldn't play with you. We only have another hour until our relief shows up. Why not just take a nap, and I'll wake you if things start happening."

"Lotta good I'd be to you if I'm napping and you start to zone." He forestalled the anticipated objection. "Yeah, yeah, I know your control is way better and the chances are slight, but they're not zero or I wouldn't be here. I suppose..." He considered and discarded several possibilities that might help him stay aware and alert enough that he'd be ready if Jim needed him. "Twenty questions! You get to keep your eyes on the house, and I get to learn some stuff about you that I don't know."

His voice tight with displeasure, Ellison snapped, "Sandburg, to quote a certain brainiac, 'This is gettin' old'. After all this time, you don't have enough yet for the dissertation? I don't want my dirty linen aired in a book; think of something else to keep your mind busy."

"No, man, no," Blair hastened to assure him. "Not for the diss. In fact, not even any sentinel stuff. Just, you know, 'getting to know you' kinds of things, like -- oh, I don't know -- school."

"School?"

"Yeah, when you were a kid."

The sigh was a formality; after all, he had standards to maintain. "All right, but turnabout's fair play, Chief. I get to ask you, too." Truth be told, it would help alleviate the boredom of waiting till their suspect slipped up.

"Cool, man, I can dig it. So -- who was your favorite teacher?"

Jim thought for a minute, casting back through the years. "Mrs. Corn, third grade. Actually, she was a lot like you, Chief -- enthusiastic, and she got that across to all her students. Of course, we all called her 'Corny' behind her back, but I don't think there was a kid in that class who didn't love her. Who was yours?"

"Mr. Delgado, fourth grade. Well, first semester of fourth grade, before we moved somewhere else. But during his Social Studies lessons, he told us about so many of the various peoples of the world, and their different customs. I'd already seen some of it, of course, but it was thrilling to learn that people actually studied this stuff, and that I could learn more than I'd seen firsthand. He's probably the one who... well, he didn't start my fascination with other cultures, but he showed me that it could be directed and expanded. So, least favorite teacher?"

"Too predictable, Chief," Jim grinned. "I knew that one was coming. Mrs. McDonald, my seventh grade history teacher. She sucked all the life and interest out of the subject -- not that there was much there, to begin with. Droning lectures and rote memorization -- it was painful."

"Aw, man, that sucks. History should be one of the more fascinating subjects -- what people did, how they lived, the changes that occurred in the world -- if a teacher would just give it a little effort," he proclaimed earnestly.

"Agreed, and I learned to appreciate history more with my tenth grade teacher, but Mrs. McD ruined it for a lot of kids. And your least favorite teacher was...?"

The curls danced across his shoulders as Blair shook his head vigorously. "Least favorite, hell. I hated Mr. Poncé, my eighth-grade physics teacher. 'Poison Pounce', we called him, and he had no business being a teacher. Monotone presentation, and could not explain it in a way to make it clear to kids -- physics, man, which tends to be difficult anyway." He grinned, teeth flashing in the darkness. "At the time, I'd been on a real science fiction kick for about two years. Turned out, the only concepts that I was able to grasp in that class were the ones that I'd already encountered while reading Heinlein and Asimov and all the others. Not the first time that being a bookworm helped me in school, but one of the more obvious instances. Favorite subject?"

"What year, Chief? It makes a difference you know. Kindergarten, I was fascinated by fingerpaints. First grade, recess, second grade, math, third grade..." His voice trailed off as the door of the darkened kitchen opened and a shadowy figure slipped out. Interesting; their suspect had left the lights and TV on in the living room, and was dressed in form-fitting black. The stealthy movement indicated that he might suspect surveillance and hoped to avoid it by his surreptitious exit; he certainly wasn't taking out the trash.

"Jim? What's going on?"

"It's Ludlow, Chief, sneaking out his back door and -- get down!" he hissed.

Obediently, Blair bent over and ducked his head below the level of the window, while Jim had to lie sideways along the seat, folding his body over Blair's. It was certainly awkward, but apparently their 'surveillee' overlooked -- as intended -- the seemingly empty truck half-hidden in the shadows; Jim listened as the cautious footsteps passed their location and proceeded up the alley. When the sound was about fifty yards away, Jim eased himself upright.

"Okay, Chief, this won't do any good unless we catch him in the act. We've gotta let him lead us to his stash; he's too used to fencing with the cops to allow us to trip him up or give himself away. Call it in; he's heading toward the east end of Grants Avenue. Tell backup to establish a loose perimeter about two blocks outside that area, and I'll call you on the cell, if need be, to relay any changes."

Ellison reached up to turn off the dome light, and quietly slipped out the door without even the faint chance of betrayal from that small brightness. Though he quickly lost sight of his friend, Blair was confident that the Sentinel would be able to follow their suspect easily; it was just a matter of time until Jim would be able to bring him in. He reached for the mic.

"Rafe? Brown? You out there?"

Brown's easy, confident tones came back to him. "Yeah, Hairboy. What's up?"

Quickly, Blair passed on Jim's instructions. "Watch out for him, Brown, okay? You know he doesn't think about danger when he's in the thick of things."

"Got it covered, Kid; no sweat."




An hour and a half later, Blair waited for Jim to come out of Simon's office while he listened to Brown and Rafe as they gave an enthusiastic description of the latest piece of the mosaic that formed the Ellison legend.

"I tell ya, Hairboy, it was the prettiest thing you'd ever want to see. There we were, surrounding the house..."

"...Eight officers covering both exits, with a squad car at both ends of the street and one in the alley..." Rafe chimed in.

"...And when we busted in, there was about a dozen guys there. They scattered like cockroaches..."

"But we thought we grabbed everyone, except..."

Brown wasn't about to let the punch line slip from his grasp. "...Mr. Bigbrain Chemist hisself managed to slip into a kind of hidden coal closet..."

"It was an old house," Rafe explained.

"...And the old delivery chute was on the side away from either door..."

"...Screened by a big lilac bush..."

"...And while we sorted out the confusion inside..."

"...He thought he could slink away without anyone noticing."

Brown's grin was huge. "But of course supercop Ellison figured it out somehow and ran outside just in time to see him sneak around the corner of the next house."

"When he shouted, the guy took off like a scared rabbit..." Rafe shook his head in feigned dismay.

"...And my man Ellison took off after him, looking like an Olympic sprinter on his best day..."

"...Still going strong when he disappeared from our sight."

"So me and Rafe hopped in the car and headed that direction. Shoulda known we wouldn't be needed." Brown's grin grew even wider.

"Yeah," Rafe confirmed. "There he was, with the perp laid out and handcuffed under a handy streetlight..."

"...And he's huffing like a beached whale, but he says as cool as can be..."

"'I've been waiting, gentlemen. Next time, don't stop for coffee.'"

"Good one!" Brown crowed, and exchanged high fives with his partner.

"Got to admit, he makes the whole department look good," Rafe conceded. Chuckling, they headed toward their desks to write their own versions to contribute to the growing stack of paperwork.

Blair sighed in mingled exasperation and respect -- would Jim ever understand that he wasn't a superman? -- and sat down to pull up the required forms on the computer. He knew enough about what had gone down to start filling in the general areas; Jim could add the details after he finished with Simon.




They headed home in companionable, satisfied silence, which didn't last long under the drive of Blair's curiosity. "So, Jim... according to Brown and Rafe, the guy was ten years younger than you and had fifty yards' head start. Wouldn't it have made more sense to run for a squad car and follow him in that? Your sentinel senses could have kept a bead on him."

Jim shook his head. "Not really, Chief; cars can't cut across yards and over fences. Besides..." Blair could hear the smug satisfaction in his voice, "...my favorite class in seventh grade -- before I filled out enough for football -- was gym. Specifically, track; I was the top sprinter and long-distance runner that year. Add that to your notes... this old man's still got it."



The End



Author's Notes

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Title: Spreading the Word
Summary: What does a helpful grad student do for his friends?
Style: Gen
Size: 3,350 words; about 6 pages in MS Word
Warnings: None
Notes: July, 2002. Self-beta'd, but the ending was improved with the help of input from the folks at Sentinel Workshop. Thanks for the suggestions, ladies. Offer enclosed; see notes at end.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Spreading the Word

by StarWatcher





Henri Brown was fuming in front of his computer, jabbing at the keyboard and swearing under his breath. Finally, he gave up. "Hey, Hairboy!" he called. "Tell me again how to set this thing up to print sideways."

Blair Sandburg walked up behind him and leaned over his shoulder. "Simple, H. Take your cursor to the top menu and click on 'File' ... then 'Page Setup' ... then 'Paper Size' ... then click the circle next to 'Landscape'." He paused between each step, giving the big detective time to find and click on each selection. "All right, man!" he crowed when success was achieved. "Now, think you can remember that for next time?"

Henri heaved a deeply-martyred sigh. "Hell, you know I try, Hairboy. I even wrote it down the last time you told me, but now I can't find the note I made."

Blair patted his shoulder. "Don't worry about it, man. Historically speaking, there's always a cultural period of adjustment before everyone becomes comfortable and conversant with new technology, whether it's a car or a computer. Actually, part of is the fault of the programming -- the techies don't know how to make it simple for the ordinary folks like you and me. You'll get the hang of it before you know it."

As Sandburg walked back to continue his own interrupted work, Henri chuckled to himself. Imagine Hairboy considering himself 'ordinary folk'. But that was one reason he got along so well with other people -- he never gave himself airs, or acted like he was better or smarter than anyone else.




Jim Ellison was seething in front of his computer, stabbing at the keyboard and muttering imprecations under his breath. How could he phrase this report in a suitable 'politically correct' style and still convey the enormity of the debacle that had occurred? He needed the walking thesaurus that was Sandburg, and his partner should have been here half an hour ago.

"Hi, Jim!" Blair called as he walked into the bullpen fifteen minutes later and dropped his backpack beside Jim's desk. "What's up?"

"'What's up' is you're forty-five minutes late, and I need your input on this Matheson report. Where have you been?"

"Oh, gee, man, I'm sorry. I was downstairs helping Donna -- you know that cute new clerk? -- format some tables for her computer. She's got a lot of information to input, and was having trouble setting up the parameters she needed. So I was just --"

"Stow it Romeo, I know what you were 'just'. We've 'got a lot of information to input' too, and explaining this truthfully without landing our asses in hot water is going to take some doing. Let's see how well you can obfuscate through this mess."




Megan Connor was grumbling in front of her computer, pecking at the keyboard and mumbling incoherent Australian epithets under her breath. There was a way... she knew there was a way... but she couldn't remember! Then she spied her salvation.

"Oh, Sandy, I'm so glad you're back!" she exclaimed as Blair returned with cups of coffee from the break-room. "I need to design a handout for my church group -- something that will be noticed. Doris -- down in booking -- was telling me about some 'fancy-print' part of the program, but I can't find it. Do you know what she meant?"

"Hmm, was she talking about Word Art? You just click up here and..." The ever-helpful young man sat down at her elbow and gave her an impromptu lesson. Thirty minutes later, Megan printed out the first copy of the attractive, eye-catching leaflet that she -- and Blair -- had designed.

She held it out and examined it with evident satisfaction. "Thanks ever so much, Sandy. You don't know how much I appreciate the help. I'll bring you some... oh, how about some homemade brownies tomorrow, to say 'thank you'?"

"You don't have to do that, Megan; you know I'll help any time I can. But if you insist -- better make a double batch, or I won't get any after this crew sees them!" He grinned broadly, and she couldn't help smiling back.

"The help you gave me, it's worth it," she assured him. "You saved me hours of 'homework' tonight; I'll use some of that time for baking." She paused as another thought occurred to her. "But what about the time you spent helping me? Are there any papers or 'homework' that I can help you with?"

Blair waved off her offer with a careless hand. "Don't worry about it. I'm almost finished grading my latest batch of papers; I'll be able to finish this evening, easily."

"Still," she murmured, "we take up a lot of your time with computer questions. Too bad it's not written down somewhere; then we could just look it up instead of bothering you."




Megan's words replayed in Blair's mind as he chopped vegetables for the stir-fry he was making for dinner. Too bad it's not written down somewhere. He heard her again as he loaded the marked essays into his backpack. Then we could just look it up. Not that he minded helping out -- it was kind of flattering, actually, that people were so confident that he could and would help them -- but he wasn't always at the station. Besides, it would be nice to give his friends the ego-boost of becoming more comfortable and competent on their computers.

Multi-tasking was as natural to Blair as breathing. As he joined Jim on the couch to watch the late news, he propped his laptop on his knees and began typing.

An hour later, Jim turned off the TV, stretched till his joints popped, and finally turned his attention toward his friend. "What'cha working on so hard, Chief? It sounds like you're going for the speed-typing Olympics over there. Got a hot new idea for the diss?"

"Nah, just a little something for the guys at work," he replied in a distracted mumble. "It shouldn't take too long to finish up."

"Well, remember we have an early call tomorrow. If you're not up in time, I'll just drag your butt out of the bed, so plan on getting to sleep before the 'wee small hours'."

His only answer was an absent-minded hand-wave that barely made a ripple in the rhythm of Blair's typing. The soft clicking of the keys followed Jim up the stairs as he pondered his partner's resemblance to a certain large, pink, drum-beating bunny.




Within three days, it had become an established routine -- when the late news started, Blair settled down to his personal typing marathon. Jim usually tried not to intrude into the academic half of his friend's life, in part to avoid the mini-lectures that generally accompanied Blair's explanations. But his curiosity was struggling to break out -- maybe there was a reason his spirit animal was a large cat -- and he finally gave it free rein.

"So, Chief... you said you were working on -- and I quote -- 'a little something for the guys at work'. 'Little something's don't ordinarily take four days. You usually come up for air once in awhile, but you just seem to keep getting deeper and deeper in this project. What's going on?"

"What? Oh..." Blair visibly dragged himself back from distant cerebral regions. "I'm sorry, Jim; did you say something?"

"Yeah, Junior; what are you working on so hard? You said it's for 'the guys at work' -- your work or mine? Just what's going through that brain of yours?"

"Well, you know all the computers at the PD use Microsoft Word for word processing?" The question was rhetorical; Blair had heard Jim complaining about the program's unhelpfulness whenever he tried to use it for something new. "Now, once someone is comfortable with Word, it's a flexible and powerful program. But it's also a confusing tangle of commands and features. It's all the fault of the programmers, really; computer geeks aren't usually very good communicators, and the first versions weren't terribly easy for the average user to understand. It pretty much took another geek to feel secure with using it... and yes, Jim, I admit it -- I am a geek." He grinned at his friend, completely relaxed and well-launched into 'lecture mode'.

Jim returned the grin, sat back, and prepared to ride out the storm. He realized that he didn't even object to the mini-lesson; Sandburg's expositions were usually informative and entertaining, even though they might not seem to pertain to whatever matter was at hand.

"When those early users complained, Microsoft tried to 'fix' the program to make it a little easier to use. Unfortunately, they didn't rewrite it -- they just slapped on a few 'virtual patches'. But the patches were written by the original geeks who had poor communication skills in the first place, so the patches caused other problems, so they updated again with more patches, new editions -- still not doing a complete overhaul and rewrite -- and more new editions, until today we have the program that people love to hate. And it's too bad, really, because Word is a pretty flexible program, but it's not always intuitive, and it tends to intimidate people. It doesn't help that Microsoft has so thoroughly entwined all the pieces together -- it tends to make some of the parts sort of unstable, and people have lots of problems if they try to 'take out' the parts they don't want and substitute something else, like a different e-mail program. In fact --"

"All right, Chief, I've heard all the stories." Enough was enough; if he didn't get Sandburg back to the original question, neither of them would get to bed before dawn. "What does this have to do with four nights of slaving over the laptop? In twenty sentences or less, please."

"Well, people keep asking, you know? How to double-space, or how to change the font size, or whatever. And I don't mind helping out, really I don't, and neither do the others who have enough word processing knowledge -- like Rhonda -- but we're not always around. I thought I'd make up a short 'cheat-sheet' -- real simple directions, easy to understand -- for people to refer to for the common, basic problems, but... well... I keep thinking of more things to add and it just keeps growing."

"But, Chief, there are already books to explain that stuff. The 'Computers for Dummies', and like that. Why not just suggest that people get one of those? Aren't you simply rehashing the same old things? Seems like you have better uses for your time. If you really need more typing to do, there's still several unfinished reports on my desk."

"Have you ever looked in one of those books, Jim? Yeah, they're pretty simple, but they can still be intimidating -- maybe three hundred pages, and the stuff you don't need hides the stuff you're looking for. My cheat-sheet will be lots smaller -- maybe twenty-five or thirty pages -- and it will cover just the things that people want to do on a daily basis. And, not to blow my own horn..." he flashed his friend another grin, "... but if I can simplify explanations enough for college freshmen to understand, I can do the same for a bunch of cops. I think it'll be the perfect combination of geekdom and communication."

"So then what, Chief? You won't be able to use your computer much if it's tied up printing out multiple copies of your 'cheat-sheet'. And don't even think about using the one on my desk; I expect it to be available when I need it, not when it's finished printing out your little effort at creative writing."

"Hey, give me a little credit, man! One thing a teacher learns is paperwork organization. I figure I'll print out one good copy. Then Rhonda can Xerox a copy for everyone in Major Crime, and maybe half a dozen extra. I'll drop the extras off with the secretaries in the other departments, and they can make copies for their people. You'll see -- once I finish writing the thing, it's out of our hair. No problems at all."

Jim grunted skeptically, but let the matter drop. He knew that Sandburg would be more involved in the distribution than he imagined, but if the kid wanted to waste his energy like that, so be it. He headed up to bed, leaving Sandburg to keep working on his not-so-little 'cheat-sheet'.




Blair leaned back in his chair and stretched till his joints popped as he watched the pages sliding out of the printer. Nice weather had enticed the students outside, so he had used his office hours to put the final touches on the 'Word Tips' project. He was finished... or at least he'd quit. Additional ideas were crowding his brain, begging to be included, but if he didn't draw the line somewhere, he would be re-writing 'Word for Dummies'. "Remember, you gotta 'Keep It Simple, Stupid'," he admonished himself. "If it gets too cumbersome, no one will use it, and all this work will be wasted."

He picked up the pages and inspected them with a half-grin of mingled pride and chagrin. It looked good, but Jeez! It had grown bigger than he'd intended -- fifty pages, for Pete's sake! -- far too many to simply staple together. Besides, he wanted these booklets to have a permanent place on his friends' desks; they should be put together by something more durable than a staple in the corner. Hmm... I think Office Max is having a sale this week. Maybe I can find something there that won't strain the ol' budget...

He glanced at the clock; office hours were officially over. Blair grabbed his backpack, loaded it quickly, and headed out the door. He could swing by Office Max on the way home; they'd probably have a solution for his little problem.




A few days later, Jim examined the results of Blair's hard work. He was holding a respectably-sized booklet; Blair had even produced a title page and index, and compiled the whole thing in the clear plastic 'report cover' used by high school and college students. He made a mental note to treat Blair to lunch or dinner several times over the next couple of weeks, to help offset the costs of the copying and report covers; Jim didn't want Blair to short himself because of his generosity to his friends.

Glancing around the room, he noticed that every person in Major Crime had a copy on his desk or in his hands. And people were actually reading it; as he extended his hearing, Jim heard murmurs of, "Way to go, Hairboy, just what I needed!" and, "Good show, Sandy -- this'll be a big help for all of us." Examining the 'evidence', Jim had to agree. The kid had done his usual bang-up job of report-writing -- although a little wordy, as usual -- and the information looked both useful and easy to follow. But -- Jim looked around again -- Blair hadn't even stayed to collect a round of 'thanks'. Typical; how could one man be so knowledgably verbose and so self-effacing at the same time?




The following day, Jim was pleased to realize that people weren't ignoring Blair's efforts to make their lives easier. Gifts started appearing on his desktop, with 'Thank You, Blair' notes prominently displayed -- a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies, another of dark, rich fudge, a selection of herbal tea packages, and even -- someone had certainly done his or her homework -- a new ink cartridge for Blair's printer.

He also noticed some whispering in corners, with occasional furtive glances in his direction. For politeness' sake, Jim kept his hearing at normal levels, but the few words he overheard convinced him that 'the gang' was planning another surprise when Blair arrived later that afternoon from Rainier. His suspicions were confirmed when Henri sauntered over and 'casually' asked, "Hey, Ellison, what time's Hairboy comin' in today?" Jim stifled a grin -- H really didn't do 'subtle' very well -- as he answered, "I think he finishes his office hours at one-thirty today; he should be here about two or so."

As 'B-hour' approached, Jim felt an undercurrent of anticipation in the room. Discrete observation showed him that the others had their attention split between their unfinished work and the bullpen door.

At 1:55, Blair bounced into Major Crime and headed toward Jim. "Hey, cookies!" he exclaimed when he spotted the offerings on the desk. "And fudge! How did you rate that, Jim? You're not going to hog it all to yourself, are you?" He dropped his backpack next to the desk and reached for the plate of fudge.

"Take a closer look, Chief. Seems to me that it's your name on these plates; I think people are trying to say 'thank you'."

Blair's startled look around the room seemed to be the signal that everyone was waiting for. They broke into a round of applause and a rousing chorus of "For he's a jolly good fellow" as they clustered around him.

Blair blushed slightly as he grinned at his friends and protested, "Gee, thanks guys, but you didn't have to do this. It's not that big a deal."

"Don't be silly," Megan admonished. "It's a very big deal, and we all appreciate the help. We just wanted to let you know."

"Yeah, Hairboy, you 'done good'," Henri assured him, with a slap on the back. "Now, you're not going to eat all those goodies yourself, are you?"

"Well, I don't know, H; we starving grad students can't afford to be giving away free food, you know." He flashed another smile around the group. "On the other hand, Naomi always taught me to share... so dig in, everybody!"

The reaching hands -- that resembled nothing so much as a grade school free-for-all -- were interrupted when a deep voice proclaimed, "Playtime's over kiddies; I'm sure you all have better things to do than feed your faces." Simon growled as he added, "And if you know what's good for you, there'll be some fudge left when I reach the plate."

The captain smirked as the others stepped aside -- Rank Hath Its Privileges, after all. He carefully selected the second-largest piece of fudge for himself, then nudged the plate so that the largest piece was next to Blair's hand. "Good work, Sandburg. I look forward to the increase in productivity out of these clowns -- starting now!" His sweeping scowl sent everyone back to their own desks. "You too Sandburg; I need that report ASAP." Simon winked at the young man and headed back to the sanctuary of his own office.

With no one watching, Jim smiled as his friend sat down to type up the Quintalli report while munching on the largest piece of fudge. Sometimes he was astounded by the depth of caring that Blair showed for all the people around him -- yet Blair himself didn't even notice.

Jim shook his head fondly; despite the excitement, it was just another day in the life of an ordinary grad student -- and an extraordinary friend.



The End




Author's Notes

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Title: Personality Questionnaire
Summary: Jim and Blair answer a few questions.
Style: Gen
Size: 1580 words, about 4 pages
Warnings: Tongue-in-cheek and all-in-fun.
Notes: June, 2005. Unintentional collaboration between Sally M and StarWatcher
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org. You can leave Sally M a private message at her livejournal, or give feedback under her original post.





Personality Questionnaire

by Blair Sandburg,
as transcribed by Sally M.





Name the last four things you bought? A packet of giant leather needles, padded cufflinks, three jars of industrial-strength motor oil and a CD of meditation music combining hand-made bagpipes, didgeridoos, sitars, and seven different tribal drums. Great stuff. It's for a test I've thought up for Jim's senses, so not a word to him, right? 'Cause it's all in the interests of science...

Name four drinks you regularly drink? Chamomile tea, echinacea tea, lemon, ginger and rosehip tea, and double-choc malted milkshakes from WonderBurger (his fault, he's the one who drags us there five times a month...)

Last time you cried? Maya, and I don't want to talk about it... Or was it after volunteering to taste Megan's chili chicken, when she lost count of the chilies? Don't want to talk about that, either.

What's in your CD player? The CD of meditation music - Jim'll love all those tribal drums, I know he will. Though I'm not so sure about the neighbors...

What's under your bed? Everything Jim told me to get out of the living room or he was gonna toss last week.

What time did you wake up today? Forty minutes after I should have, and twenty after Jim threatened to put ice down my neck.

Current hair? I'm still not cutting it, man...

Current clothes? What's wrong with sixteen-shades-of-blue-and-green-and-purple flannel?

Current desktop picture? That photo from Burton's book of a sentinel - with Jim's head photoshopped onto it. Just till he finds out...

Current worry? That Jim will find out about the tests I want to do with the needles, the cufflinks and the motor oil before I've managed to work out how to talk him into it.

Current hate? Hate is bad, man, hate is bad karma and will always come back to bite you on the backside. My Mom taught me not to hate. Though the postcards she sends, care of the bullpen, to "dearest baby Blair" aren't doing a lot to reinforce the message.

Favorite place to be? The loft. Or the library. I'm trying to talk Jim into less furniture and more bookshelves to turn the loft into a library.

Least favorite place? Anywhere between when I jumped from the plane and I hit the ground. I have got to stop doing things like that... eventually.

If you could play an instrument, what would it be? Hey, I play guitar (don't listen to what Simon says about my playing). What I'd like is a snake charmers' flute, but I've been told what will happen if I bring it into the loft...

Favorite color(s)? The ones my Sentinel can see and no one else can.

How tall are you? Don't listen to the guys at the bullpen - I am not short.

Where would you like to go? The village in Peru that Jim was with for all those months. Hey, or Disneyland (a Sentinel dealing with all that stimulus would be the grandest set of tests to end all tests, don't you think? All in the interests of...)

Favorite food? My mom's recipe for boiled tongue is the best, man, but I'm all for trying different ways to cook it... Jim says I'll bring jellied tongue into the loft over his - or my - dead body, but I'll talk him round.

Color of most clothes you own? Come on, having clothes in one color is so drab, don't you think?

Number of pillows you sleep with? I think I've got seven now, does it count when they all end up on the floor?

What do you wear when you go to sleep? Boxers and t-shirt now. Used to be nothing but sweet fresh air, but we have this problem of unexpected and unwelcome visitors before I make it out of bed.

What were you doing at 12 AM last night? Trying to persuade my Sentinel that old Mrs-Donatello-Down-the-Road's-New-Boyfriend's snoring is not grounds for a police raid.

How old will you be in ten years? Sorry. My Mom is totally relaxed about ageing, says it's all a state of mind and you're only as young as the young man you're feeling (I wish she wouldn't say that in front of Jim and Simon) but she'll admit to a thirty-plus-year-old son when the Pagan Underworld freezes over...

What do you think you'll be doing in ten years? Trying to convince my Mom that a frozen Pagan Underworld is not some sort of sinister corporate Wonderland, still trying to convince Simon that 'observing' does involve undercover work and shootouts and all that, and still trying to get Jim to take the damn test with the needles, the cufflinks and all that.

Are you paranoid? Nahhh, bad karma. Jim's the one they're all out to get - I'm just easier for them to get first.

Do you burn or tan? Both at once. Megan says it's multi-tasking. Simon says it's typical. Jim just stocks up on the sunscreen.

What is the brand of your wallet? It's made by Peruvian artisans living on mountaintops from woven llama wool and the leather tanned with wild dog urine and native plants. For some reason, Jim hates it.

First piercing/tattoo? The navel ring that Jim doesn't know about yet.

Last person you yelled at? Jim. And he started it.

Last thing you ate? Crocodile con queso (Marietta Suellen's recipe, very healthy and natural and no I haven't told Jim what the main ingredient was) followed by Megan's fifty-third attempt at her mother's lamington recipe.

Last time you had sex? Three hours ago, actually, on the library roof of the East Cascade Catholic Seminary while we (me and Marietta Suellen) were waiting for a rescue from the lunatic seminary-invaders from the Cascade branch of Beelzebub's Brotherhood (membership of eight and one half-wit). We needed to keep warm... Hey, it could happen to anyone...






Personality Questionnaire

by Jim Ellison,
as transcribed by StarWatcher





Name the last four things you bought? Package of white socks, package of T-shirts, four quarts of oil, oil filter for Sandburg's car. Hey, if I help keep that heap of his running, I won't have to rescue him so often when it breaks down again.

Name four drinks you regularly drink? Coffee, water, beer, coffee. It's the only way to get through late-night stakeouts.

Last time you cried? Men don't cry.

What's in your CD player? Santana. Unless Sandburg snuck some of his aboriginal caterwauling in there.

What's under your bed? The floor.

What time did you wake up today? 6:30. Plenty of time for both of us to shower, dress, eat, and get to work on time, if Sandburg will just get his butt out of bed the first time I call him.

Current hair? Short. What's it to you?

Current clothes? Trousers. Polo shirt. What do you care?

Current desktop picture? Don't need one. Computers are for using, not for looking pretty.

Current worry? That one of these times, I'll be too late getting to Sandburg when he's in trouble.

Current hate? These damned senses. Without them, I wouldn't be a freak, and Sandburg wouldn't be following me into danger.

Favorite place to be? Couch. Beer. Watching the Jags. With Sandburg.

Least favorite place? At the latest gory crime scene that violently demonstrates man's inhumanity to man. I don't tell Sandburg this, though; he thinks I don't let it bother me. I'll tell Sandburg my least favorite place is his rattrap of a bedroom.

If you could play an instrument, what would it be? I already play the drums, or did when I was young and foolish. That's enough.

Favorite color(s)? Who cares?

How tall are you? Taller than you.

Where would you like to go? Fishing. No other human within 20 miles, except Sandburg and Simon.

Favorite food? WonderBurger double-cheeseburger with bacon bits. My cholesterol is just fine, thank you.

Color of most clothes you own? Clothes-colored.

Number of pillows you sleep with? Two.

What do you wear when you go to sleep? Boxers. If someone breaks in during the night, at least I'm covered.

What were you doing at 12 AM last night? Waiting for Sandburg to get home from his latest date. I haven't told him that I don't sleep well until I know he's here, safe. With his penchant for finding trouble, not even dates can be considered 100% harmless.

How old will you be in ten years? Ten years older than now.

What do you think you'll be doing in ten years? Still a cop. Hopefully with these senses finally under control.

Are you paranoid? It's not paranoia when you know somebody's out there. I just hope the senses will give me enough of a warning that we can bug out in time. (Of course I'd take Sandburg with me; they might use him to get to me. He'd just try to follow, anyway, and probably lead them right to me, if I tried to make him stay behind.)

Do you burn or tan? Tan.

What is the brand of your wallet? Something Sandburg gave me; ostrich leather, I think.

First piercing/tattoo? In Vice, to go undercover. The holes have pretty much closed up by now. Sandburg doesn't know about the panther-head on my hip, that the Chopec gave me.

Last person you yelled at? Sandburg. I appreciate his backup, but dammit, it's not worth him putting himself in danger.

Last thing you ate? Something Sandburg concocted. I complained, of course, but it was actually pretty good.

Last time you had sex? None of your damn business.



The End






Edited to Add: Apparently, Blair wheedled and called in a favor to get the captain to fill out the same questionnaire. With [livejournal.com profile] roslynsmuse as transcriber, you can find Simon's answers here.


Edited to Add #2: Jim and Blair fill out a different questionnaire, together, which [livejournal.com profile] callistosh65 has transcribed. (very mild slash)






Author's Notes

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Title: Cleanliness is Next To...
Summary: What happens when someone gets careless about cleaning?
Style: Gen
Size: - 1,210 words; about 3 pages in Word.
Warnings: My imagination is... warped.
Notes: Written November, 2002.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Cleanliness is Next To...

by StarWatcher





What was that?

Jim was sure he'd caught a flash of -- blue? -- out of the corner of his eye, but a closer inspection of the area showed nothing amiss. Still, there had been something...

Wait! A flash of -- pink? -- this time, gone before he could identify it.

Carefully, almost delicately, he extended his senses. Hearing... no heartbeat, no nibbling teeth, no skittering claws. Scent... nothing unusual. Lasagna from last night, coffee and bagels from this morning. The mingled smells of the various soaps, shampoos, and cleaning agents that he and Blair used. Vision... he scanned every corner in detail, searched under all the furniture. Hmm... he'd have to make Sandburg run the vacuum more often; some of his long hairs were embedded in the area rug and migrating under the couch. But still, that wasn't enough to set off Jim's internal 'alert system'.

And something did have his 'alert system' tingling. There was -- there had to be -- something amiss; he felt almost subliminal vibrations in the air. Probably no one other than a Sentinel would have noticed it, but it was driving him crazy.

Fine time for Sandburg to take off for the library, he groused to himself. Maybe with his help I could isolate this thing.

But dammit, he had perfected his hunting skills with the Chopec. The heightened senses were useful, but not essential. If he had to lie in ambush in his own home, so be it. He could wait, completely unmoving, for hours if necessary. Eventually the -- something -- would grow incautious enough to show itself.

He completed his preparations -- drank a glass of water so that thirst wouldn't become an annoyance, made a quick trip to the bathroom to avoid the later discomfort of 'hydrostatic pressure', and placed his shoes under the coat-rack; bare feet would help him relax. As he dropped into a comfortable cross-legged position midway between the living area and kitchen, he grinned to himself. Sandburg might be amazed that he could plan to be absolutely still for several hours, if necessary. Jim wouldn't let his friend know about this ability, however; he didn't want the kid to step up his campaign to encourage Jim to meditate.

He slowed his respirations, taking deep, even breaths, and settled in to wait. He turned vision, hearing, and smell up just a notch -- enough to give him an edge, but not enough to precipitate a zoneout. Then he allowed conscious thought to fade, and became simply an open receptor, waiting for input.

There! Something -- still unidentifiable -- stirred in the kitchen. There! Another something, near the door of Sandburg's room. Jim continued to wait, motionless, gathering data until he was certain. The 'something's -- several of them -- seemed to be based in Sandburg's bedroom. Much as he disliked the idea, Jim would have to brave that den of disorder and make
a closer inspection.

He rose fluidly and stalked on ghost-silent feet to the door of Sandburg's room. He leaned against the doorframe, settling himself for another extended wait to gather more clues and -- hopefully -- find where the 'something's were coming from. (Or where they were going to.) It wouldn't surprise him to find anything hidden here, but he still couldn't see / hear / smell anything other than the usual jumble of books, papers, artifacts, and clothing.

There! And there. Under the bed. Another. And another!

Jim silently lowered himself to the floor and crept forward on his stomach. He lifted the edge of the comforter and peered underneath. Oh my god!

I thought 'dust bunny' was just a nickname. He stared in repelled disgust at the colony -- count 'em, eight -- of creatures under the bed, all in pastel shades of pink, blue, and green. Even worse, there seemed to be two -- no, three -- nests of 'babies', squirming around and growing bigger as he watched.

He looked closer, trying to understand. Even with the evidence of his eyes, it was hard to believe. They seemed to be alive -- they were moving without being pushed by air currents -- but they made no sound, and had no scent other than the normal smells of the loft. No wonder he had had such trouble isolating them; they were part of the loft itself, with nothing to distinguish them to his senses.

He needed Lysol, Clorox, vacuum, broom -- anything, everything to clean them up before Blair got home. With his luck, the kid would want to study them, or make pets of them, or something equally unnerving. He refused to let his home become a refuge for the wayward, impossible creatures.

Too late. Blair was walking through the door. "Hey, Jim, I'm back!" he called out as he dropped his backpack on the couch. "Think I found everything I needed at the library. How was your day?"

"Sandburg," he growled, stalking out of the bedroom, "when was the last time you cleaned under your bed?"

"What? What are you talking about, man? What's wrong with my bed?"

"Under your bed, Sandburg. Have you looked under your bed lately?"

"What, you found a couple of stray dust bunnies? Come on, Jim, I do my part to help you keep the rest of the loft clean; can't you cut me a little slack in my own room?"

"Take a look, Sandburg, and let me know just how much 'slack' I should cut you."

Shrugging, Blair solemnly lowered himself to his hands and knees and peered under the futon. "Gosh, Jim, two small clumps of dust. Absolutely disgusting. So, is the world going to end tomorrow?"

Jim's jaw dropped; how could Blair not see the incredible creatures clustered in such a small area? He looked under the bed to confirm his original vision. Sure enough, he saw -- two small clumps of dust.

But... but... but...




"SANDBURG!" he bellowed, bolting upright from his nap on the couch.

"Jeeze, Jim, give a guy a heart attack, why don't you? Bad dream?"

"Come on, Sandburg, we're cleaning up your room right now!"

"Jim, I'm in the middle of grading tests here; can't it wait for awhile?"

"No," he snarled as he gathered the cleaning supplies. "Clean now, grade tests later." Seeing the stubborn look forming on Blair's face, he eased back on his demands. "Please, Chief. It's important. We just have to do this now. I'll cook supper and clean up after, to give you time to finish grading. And," he concluded as Blair opened his mouth to protest further, "I'll explain it all later. Okay?" His pleading look rivaled Blair's best.

Blair took a long look at his friend, then gave in. It was true; he could finish grading the tests later, and Jim obviously had some kind of burr under the saddle. He could ask questions after Jim calmed down. In the meantime, he would appreciate the help cleaning his room; he'd let the job go too long and had been avoiding tackling the mess.

He smiled up at his friend. "Sure, big guy," he agreed. "No problem."

But he would find out what had brought this about -- eventually.



The End




Author's Notes

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Title: For Services Rendered
Summary: Sometimes doing a favor pays off.
Style: Gen
Size: 860 words, about 2 pages.
Warnings: None
Notes: Written November, 2004. Challenge fic and gift fic combined.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





For Services Rendered

by StarWatcher





Friday Afternoon

"Ji-im..."

"No." Ellison recognized that tone. He couldn't put a finger on what was different about it, but he knew Sandburg was going to propose something that involved a test of his senses.

"What do you mean, 'no'? You could at least hear the question first; maybe give it two seconds of thought before you just automatically say 'no'! For all you know, I might be going to suggest a weekend of fishing, or tell you I got tickets to a truck show, or tell you I planned to get out of your hair this weekend -- not that you have that much to get out of, but still -- and you'd have two peaceful days of the loft all to yourself. You know, it would serve you right if..."

Ellison sighed. He'd once tried to ignore Sandburg, thinking the kid would run out of steam if he didn't get a response. In theory, that might work -- eventually. In practice, Blair had still been going strong twenty minutes later; Jim had finally answered just to shut off the seemingly endless supply of verbiage. "All right," he grunted. "What did you want to ask... or tell?"

"Well, you see, I have this friend -- actually, it's the son of a friend -- I don't really know him. But his mother's been such a good friend to me, really helped me out when I got to Rainier, and it's his twenty-second birthday, and she's feeling all proud and kinda nostalgic about how he's all grown up now, and I wanted to get him a little something to celebrate, which sorta acknowledges her feelings, ya' know?"

"So how does this involve me?"

"I figured I'd get him some fancy flavored coffee, something he could share with his mom -- they're real close, even closer than me and Naomi -- or maybe with his buddies at the prison, make some points there."

Ellison's eyebrows rose. "Your friend's son is an inmate? How do you think he's even going to be able to brew this fancy coffee? And I still don't know why you need me."

"No, man, not an inmate, a guard. And I'd like you to come with me to that little imported coffee place over on Third; you can sniff the beans and help me pick out the best ones. You know, not too sweet, not too acid, something with a good, rich flavor..."

"Jeez, Sandburg, do you know what a headache I had after sniffing all those essential fragrances? No way do I want to do that again."

Jim had to hand it to the kid; Blair could wheedle his tones better than anyone he'd ever met. "It won't be like that this time, big guy. Just one store, and... and I'll cut the field down to ten by myself. So you just have to sniff ten samples and tell me which are the three best. And then you can tell me the flavorings that went into each coffee. What'd'ya say?"

"I say, what's in it for me?" Maybe that would slow down the perpetual motion machine.

It did -- for about three seconds. Blair blinked. "What's in it for you?" he asked cautiously.

Ellison grinned internally, wondering how far he could push this. "Yeah," he challenged. "You want to use me as a sensory expert; not only do I have to sniff, I have to compare and evaluate and choose the best candidate. 'The laborer is worthy of his pay'... so what do I get out of it?"

"Uh... I buy you half a pound of the flavor you think is the best?"

It was Jim's turn to pause. Blair thought he was serious? Well, hell, why not? "Okay, got yourself a deal, Sandburg. Let's get these reports finished, and we'll swing by on the way to the loft."



Sunday Morning

"Did I tell you how much I appreciated the help in choosing the coffee, Jim? Gay was so touched, and Mack was really enthusiastic about trying those flavors." Blair continued to chatter as he bustled around the kitchen to prepare brunch, unconcerned that his friend was hardly paying attention. Let the man enjoy his little perks; he had certainly earned them. "Turns out he's as big a coffee aficionado as Simon is, but he can't afford to indulge it on a guard's salary. You know, lots of times, it only takes a little thought to get someone a great present without spending big bucks. Not that I mind spending money on my friends, but I can't spend it if I don't have it, ya' know? Makes me realize, I better put on my thinking cap; it's not too early to start planning for Christmas gifts. Do you think Simon would like..."

Ellison let the babble wash over him as he turned from World News to the Sports Page. He took another sip of his Yemen Mocha, savoring the rich flavor that lingered on his tongue with a hint of chocolate. Yep; when the payoff was this good, sense-testing was a lot easier to swallow. He probably couldn't play that card too often, but maybe once in awhile...



The End



Author's Notes

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Title: Small Victories
Summary: Jim helps out with Blair's good deed.
Style: Gen
Size: 2,365 words, about 5 pages in MS Word
Warnings: None
Notes: March 2005; challenge-story for Sentinel Secrets - "Get Jim and Blair out of Cascade."
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Small Victories

by StarWatcher





"It's a damn shame," Jim commented as a commercial replaced the news of the latest tanker oil-leak befouling the northern California coastline.

"Yeah, it makes me sick to think of all those birds and animals dying because some big corporation's too cheap to build their tankers with reinforced, double hulls. Dammit!" Blair tapped his pen restlessly on the notebook as his gaze unfocused, his thoughts several hundred miles away.

Jim grunted an acknowledgement and turned his attention to the sports update, deliberately pushing from his mind the situation that he couldn't control. Ten minutes later, when he snapped off the TV, Blair stirred and spoke.

"Jim, you know I have Spring Break next week, and you always have a buildup of vacation days. D'you think you could get the week off?"

Ellison gave the suggestion due consideration. "I suppose so, unless something big comes up tomorrow or the next day. What's on your mind, Junior?"

"The cleanup. They'll need all the volunteers they can get, to help locate and clean the animals and birds that got all oiled up. I'd like to help, but I don't want to leave you chasing after criminals without my backup, and I'm thinking that your senses would be invaluable in helping to find the ones that are too weak to struggle anymore, and might be overlooked by normal eyes."

"Chief, that sounds like a recipe for heartbreak," he began, gently. "There's no way we can --"

"Jim, I know they can't save every animal, but every one they do save is a victory against Man's careless destruction of the ecosystem. I just want to help, and I know you and I together can accomplish a lot more. You'd be using your senses a lot, but I'll be there, and at least it'll be a different kind of use, not having to filter out all the big-city input. Of course, the stench of crude oil might be a problem, but I'll help you with that. But still, if you're not interested, I understand; I can go alone," he said firmly. "I just hope you'll take the time off anyway, so there's less danger of your senses acting up."

Blair paused in his headlong rush of words, waiting for Ellison's response, knowing he might be asking too much, but desperately hoping that his friend would join him.

Jim studied the hopeful face in front of him as he considered Blair's request. It would hardly be a relaxing break, but it would be a change from his normal routine. And as much as he enjoyed surfing and fishing, wasn't he obligated to give something back, if he could?

"You got it, Sandburg." The brilliant smile he received convinced him he had made the right decision. "You make the arrangements. We'll fly out after work on Friday, be all set to help bright and early on Saturday."

"Oh, man, thanks, Jim! You won't regret it, I promise. I'll get on the Internet right now and check on flights and a hotel room." With a burst of energy, he gathered up books and papers and trotted into his bedroom. Ellison grinned with mild amusement; he wondered how much energy Blair would still have at the end of next week.




"Thank you for coming, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Benjamin McAllister, of the Oceanic and Wildlife Animal Rescue Center." The small, slender man pacing the front of the room with energetic movements surveyed the group of about forty volunteers. "I'm grateful to have so many eager helpers today. We'll divide into groups, washers and searchers. Each search team will have an experienced captain to show you what to look for, and how to handle the animals you find. You'll be dropped off at different areas, about half a mile apart. When your team captain feels that you've covered your area thoroughly, you'll be transported to a new spot, half a mile from the last group in line. With luck, we'll be able to cover six or eight miles today." He shook his head at the dissenting murmur that passed through the group. "Small steps, people, is all we can do, but we'll keep progressing in small steps until we've covered the affected area. If we clear eight miles, it means that every live bird or small animal in that area will be captured and brought in for treatment. It's worthwhile work, and I guarantee that you'll feel proud and satisfied at the end of the day, knowing you've helped so many helpless creatures."

He smiled a challenge. "I also guarantee you'll be dead on your feet, and sickened by the smell of the oil, and what these animals have to deal with. It's disgustingly dirty work, and heart-breaking that many creatures you find will have already succumbed. Just remember that every one you do save will be a victory, and every one counts."

Hearing the same words that Sandburg had used to urge his participation, Ellison glanced at the young man sitting beside him. Blair's face was set in firm resolve, and Jim suspected that he'd have to watch his friend as the day progressed, to ensure that he didn't work himself to collapse.

"All right, folks; talking doesn't get the job done. Those who want to help with the washing, follow Tom." He pointed out a big, bearded man standing near a side door. "Searchers, you'll find knee boots and slickers in the back of the room. Choose a set in your size; believe me, you want to keep as much of this stuff off your skin and clothes as you can. Grab a good supply of the plastic gloves, too; when one pair is too fouled up to continue to use, you'll want a fresh pair. When you're kitted out, gather in groups of four or five; your team captain will use one of our vans to take you to your designated area.




The group of three men and four women stood on a bluff above the rocky beach, surveying the devastation in stunned silence. The waves moved sluggishly, weighted down by the deceptively rainbow-colored sheen of oil floating on top. The rocks were coated with black slime that blurred their outlines and obscured all details, and the sand was an ugly matte black that repelled any ideas of approaching it. The reek of the crude oil, even at this distance, had people breathing shallowly, unconsciously trying to avoid the ghastly odor.

At the edge of their group, Blair spoke quietly to his sentinel. "Dial it down, Jim. Your sense of smell will be totally useless out here; no information can get past that stink. Might as well turn it right down to zero, and boy do I envy that ability now." He waited till a short nod confirmed success. "Good. And remember, try not to let any of that stuff touch your bare skin. It won't be easy, even with this gear, but the less you get on you, the less chance you'll have an adverse reaction."

"I know, Sandburg; we covered this last night!" A thread of irritation laced Ellison's voice, and he was beginning to wonder if he should have agreed to this little excursion. Still, he knew he'd have been uneasy if Blair were here without him. "You can quit the mother-hen routine; I said I'll be careful."

"Yeah, I know big guy, just... oh, hell; we'll both be careful, all right?"

"Okay, folks, listen up!" Their team captain was Amy Trenton, a solidly-built woman with graying brown hair. Blair, always eager to talk with the people around him, had learned that she had been with OWARC for seventeen years; her knowledge and experience were impressive. "The trick is to stay sharp, and don't take anything for granted. Watch for the slightest movement; some of these birds and animals are frequently so sick or worn out that they can barely shift their bodies. Examine everything closely; a mess of seaweed on the sand could be disguising an exhausted animal, sprawled out and covered up.

"As Ben said, we'll find dead animals as well as live ones. Use these markers," she was passing out small orange flags on wire stands as she talked, "and put them next to the bodies. This will let the disposal people find them easily; they need to be picked up, to avoid scavengers getting sick from eating the bodies." She pulled a jar of Vicks Vapo-rub from a carry-sack. "Pass this around, and dab some under your nose. Nothing will cut the smell of this shit, but it will make it more bearable." She waited while everyone complied, even Jim dabbing on a little to avoid drawing attention to himself. "Okay, good. We'll work in pairs, because we've found that two sets of eyes in the same area really are better than one. And if you find one that's mobile, you'll have to work it from both sides in order to catch it. Grab your boxes and towels and follow me."




"That one's pretty mobile, Sandburg. I'd think it could manage on its own."

"No way, man! When it tries to clean itself, it'll end up swallowing some of the oil, and that will kill it as sure as any poison." He surveyed the area. "Maybe if we flank it and move real slow, don't scare it, it'll try to hide under that piece of driftwood and we can sneak up on it."

Jim considered what he knew of hunting. "Almost, Chief. I think if it does go to ground, I should go around to the other side before you try to sneak up on it. If it tries to escape, I can catch it as it comes out the backside."

The plan worked as if it had been choreographed. When the small, brown-speckled gull settled under the seaweed-draped driftwood, Blair waited for Jim to take his position on the other side. They crept forward cautiously, pausing when the bird shifted nervously, moving when it settled. Jim's silent gestures told Blair that the hiding place was more accessible from his side, and Blair waited while Jim reached into the tangled mass. At the last moment, the bird recognized its danger and struggled away from the grasping hands. With a quick step forward and outstretched towel, Blair caught it, wrapping the towel around its body and flipping a corner over its eyes to quiet its desperate struggles.

"Great, Chief. Hold him while I get the box."

Leaving the Thayer's gull in the dim, quiet security of the box, they continued down their section of the beach, eyes searching for any movement, or any ill-shaped irregularity that might signify an oiled animal. After a few minutes, Blair called a time out.

"Jim, we're using only half our resources, here. How about we add your hearing to the mix?"

"Sandburg!" Jim's tone combined amusement and exasperation. He gestured toward the ocean. "What we have here is a giant white noise generator, and those guys up there," he waved toward the dipping, wheeling gulls above, "are making a helluva racket. What good's my hearing going to be?"

"You can block that out, man," Blair urged. "Recognize the sound of the waves, and set it aside. Then locate and set aside all sounds that come from above you. What've you got after that?"

Reluctantly, Ellison followed his partner's suggestion. With his back to the ocean, he swept his hearing in a 180-degree arc. Just as he'd thought, there was noth-

"You're right Sandburg; this way!"

Huddled under the overhang formed by a cluster of boulders, its black-streaked brown fur blending perfectly with the shadows, was a half-grown sea otter. It didn't move as Jim gently draped the towel over it and gathered it up, then placed it carefully in the box that Blair was holding open.

"Thanks, Chief," he said, closing the box and tucking it under an arm. "Let's go get the seagull, drop these guys off at the van, and come back with more boxes and towels."




Blair flopped on the bed with quiet groan, although a big smile spread across his face. "Man, am I wiped; Ben was sure right about that! It'll be good to get home tomorrow. But we did great didn't we? Five days to find a hundred and eighty-two birds and animals that'll be rehabilitated and returned to the wild, and thirty-five of 'em were ours. It feels just as good as I thought it would."

"'Ours', Sandburg?" Jim smiled gently at his friend's enthusiasm as he started removing his clothes. "We're not taking any home, unless you're holding out on me."

"Yes, 'ours'," he insisted. "When we rescued those guys, we gave them life -- continued life -- just like they'd been born a second time. I'll never see them again, but just knowing they're out there, where God and Nature intended... it doesn't get any better than this. Admit it; you feel the same way!"

Jim's sternly repressed his smile. "I admit nothing; we had a job to do and we did it well." The disbelieving snort from across the room said that Blair wasn't buying his act, so he let the broad grin break free. "Well, then, we need to celebrate one hundred and eighty-two small victories. How about a steak dinner after we get our showers? Amy told me that the 'Slim Jim's Steakhouse' serves a mean Porterhouse."

"Oh, man, I am so down with that! Hurry up, or I'll sneak in ahead of you."

"Not you or any army will keep me from my shower, Sandburg. I'll be out in ten. Why don't you call a cab, and tell it to be here in half an hour."

Jim stepped into the shower while Blair reached for the phonebook, each man secure in the knowledge that one of the great victories in life was the friendship they had found in each other. It didn't get any better than that.



The End




Author's Notes

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Title: The Misty Solitudes
Summary: While camping, Jim and Blair meet a local legend.
Style: Gen
Size: 14,050 words, about 26 pages in MS Word.
Warnings: None
Notes: The inspiration came from a poem -- "The Road through the Woods" by Rudyard Kipling -- which is posted at the end of the story.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org



Dedicated to the memory of Cindershadow,
a dear friend who was taken from us much too soon.



A view into a misty forest.  We see mostly tree-trunks, some splotched with moss, fading into the distance.  They rise out of a profusion of green, mostly ferny, growths.  Text reads 'The Misty Solitudes' slanting across the page.



 



Jim Ellison scowled in confusion as he stood in front of the door, swaying slightly with key in hand; he couldn't remember what he was supposed to do with it.

Blair was exhausted, too, but not quite at the point of mental shut-down. He hadn't spent the last thirty-seven-and-a-half hours with his senses cranked up to maximum, tracking a killer through the cramped and congested back-streets and the stench of filthy alleyways. He'd only provided the care and backup so that his sentinel wouldn't zone, so that Jim could keep going forward long after any sensible man would have called it quits and headed home to a well-deserved rest.

'Only', Blair thought with a flicker of wry amusement; the trite word concealed hours of driving, walking, running, searching... Thank God they'd caught the man, or they would probably still be out hunting -- despite the fact that each had reached the end of his endurance. But habit would keep him going just a little longer. A few more minutes of giving care and support to Jim, then they could both collapse.

Blair gently pulled the key from Jim's fingers and unlocked the door, pushing it wide. He grabbed Jim's hand and led the unresisting man through the opening, shutting it behind them with an absent-minded kick, then yanked his jacket off and tossed it in the general direction of the coat-hooks. When Jim simply stood mindlessly, Blair unzipped his friend's jacket, tugged it down his arms, and tossed it after his own. Bed. No food, no drink, no cleanup -- just bed, and sweet, heavenly sleep. Ten hours, maybe even twelve.

Blair started urging Jim toward the stairs that led to the bedroom loft, then paused. No. There was no way that either of them would make it to the top. He changed direction and stopped in front of the larger couch. Gentle pressure indicated that Jim could sit; three seconds later, he had collapsed sideways to lie with his head on a throw-pillow that Blair had hastily shoved into place. But his friend wouldn't be comfortable like that. With a last burst of effort, Blair lifted Jim's legs to the cushions, then pulled off his shoes to drop them on the floor. A twitch brought the afghan down from the back of the couch to settle over the sleeping man.

Blair nodded to himself as he regarded Jim. Yes. This was good. He'd taken care of his friend, and now it was just a few more steps until he could collapse on his own bed. He turned, and staggered as a wave of dizziness washed over him. Of course, this couch was a lot closer...

As he settled into the softness, he remembered at the last moment to toe off his own shoes. Jim's snores masked the 'thud' of them hitting the floor. Seconds later, Blair was also snoring, warrior and companion sharing a richly-deserved rest.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


The following day brought little relief. Although they'd slept late, the pile of paperwork that adorned their desks -- ignored for several days while they had been investigating and chasing the killer -- was enough to make Blair sigh deeply. Jim frankly glowered at it, then shook his head in resignation and sat down to open the first file. "I'd rather chase down another perp than do this stuff," he griped quietly to his partner. "I just hope I can keep my eyes open."

"You and me both, man," Blair agreed as he took his own seat. "I predict lots of coffee today, for both of us. But I don't wanna chase any more perps. How about we help some little girl find her lost kittycat instead?"

"No good, Sandburg. We'd find the kittycat hiding in the middle of crates full of illegal weapons, be discovered by the owners before we could get the hell out, and get stuck in a pitched gun-battle. We would, of course, heroically save the day and capture all the gunrunners, but then we'd get back here to twice as much paperwork." He shook his head firmly. "No lost kittycats, no runaway horses, no escaped Barbary apes; it is never worth dealing with the repercussions."

Blair nodded thoughtfully as he grabbed another folder. "You may be right, man; the animal kingdom does seem to have it in for us. But have you noticed that it's just the warm-blooded animals? Fishing usually works out okay."

"You've got a point there, Junior. As long as you don't count poachers, drug kingpins and their mistresses, train robbers or survivalist rejects, fishing works out real well for us."

"You're being deliberately obtuse; what, you want pistols at dawn?" Blair cocked a derisive eyebrow. "It isn't the fishing that's the problem; it's the people around -- all of whom are warm-blooded animals, by the way. If we got way, way out, with no people within... oh, about twenty miles... I think we should be safe. And I think we should do it soon; if we don't get more rest than a couple nights' sleep, we're going to start making mistakes." Becoming serious, he urged softly, "We can't afford that; in our line of work, mistakes can be deadly. So, what d'ya say; fishing this weekend? Maybe Simon would let us take three days."

Jim took a moment to study his partner, noting the slightly grayed undertone to his skin, the uncharacteristic slump of his shoulders, and the thread of exhaustion that underlay his voice. Blair's personal scent was 'off', too, as if his body chemistry was unbalanced from stress and strain, coupled with too many inadequate meals on the run and too much missed sleep; they'd been working intense, high-profile cases for the better part of three weeks. This was bad. It was one thing to take liberties with his own health and well-being, but not fair to foist the same state onto Blair simply because the man insisted on 'covering his back', no matter what. And, now that Blair had an official position with the P.D, Jim could no longer convince his partner to wait anything out; what one man endured, they both endured.

"You're right," he agreed quietly. "Let's see how much of this we can get done, and I'll talk to Simon about a few days off."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


At 5:25, Jim passed the last report to Blair for his corroborating signature, accepting one from his partner in return. An exchange of glances confirmed that each man was caught up with the files and paperwork -- at least for now. Jim rose and approached his captain’s office, to knock on the door.

"Come!" Banks called, and scribbled his signature before he looked up at his detective. "So, Jim, how's it going?" he asked as he waved the other man to a seat and rose to pour two mugs of coffee. He slid one mug across the desk, then sat and took a swallow of the fragrant brew. "You got the Bartolo case wrapped up?"

"Yes, sir, the report's on Rhonda's desk. We've also finished the Cumberland case, the Snipes case, the Fidelli case, and the partridge in the pear tree. And Sandburg can do a juggling act, if you'd like." Jim closed his eyes as he shook his head; Simon didn't deserve such a smart-ass attitude. "I'm sorry, sir; I had no call to speak to you like that."

The captain stared at his friend and analyzed what he saw; after all, he was a detective, too. "You certainly didn't. But I'm going to file it under 'extenuating circumstances'; you look like you'd have to climb up a few steps to feel like shit."

"That's exactly where I am, Simon," Jim agreed, "and Sandburg's not much better. That's why I'm here, to request some time off. We don't want to reach the stage where we're a danger to ourselves and others."

"Reasonable," Simon acknowledged. "D'you have anything open that can't wait awhile?"

Jim shrugged. "The only thing open is the Graffen case, and we're stalled on that. Joel and Megan have the information, if anything comes up."

The captain nodded. "Good. Okay, take a week. I'll expect to see you back here next Thursday, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I don't expect to have some local lawman on the phone, needing information because you two have jumped into another 'incident'." He pointed an admonishing finger. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir; thank you. I'll keep that in mind -- bright-eyed and bushy-tailed by the time we get back. I'll handle the bright eyes and let Sandburg do bushy-tailed. On a normal day, he's already halfway there."

"Go on, get out of here," Simon growled. As the detective reached the door, he said softly, "Jim." The other man turned, waiting silently. "All joking aside, you need this. Take care of yourself, and the kid; I don't want to attend either of your funerals within the next fifty years. You got that?"

Jim nodded. "Got it, Simon. Thanks again." He slipped out the door to tell his partner the good news.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


"So, Jim, where're we headed?" Blair asked as they skirted the national forest. He admired the towering trees, and breathed in the fresh scent of green growth and moist earth through the open window. "We can't take any fish from federal lands, can we?"

"Depends on the season and type of fish, Chief. But we'll be four or five miles outside the boundaries; pick up supplies at Tonasket, then drive and finally hike till we get there. There's not even a road in anymore; I can pretty much guarantee that we'll see no one else, and it's a great place to fish -- basically untouched because it's so difficult to get to. But it'll be worth it."

Blair was interested; it sounded like Jim knew a lot more than he'd said. "What d'you mean, 'no road anymore'? And how did you find it?"

"Well... Sandburg, look ahead! To our left!" Jim removed his foot from the gas, and pressed lightly on the brake before releasing it to let the truck continue quietly forward on residual momentum.

A broad smile lit Blair's face as he watched the doe and fawn grazing peacefully at the edge of the trees, unperturbed by the slow passage of the truck. Once they were past, he released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "That was so cool! We always know that there are animals in the forest, but we hardly ever get to see any -- except for you, with your senses. With those guys in the shadows, I probably wouldn't have noticed them if you hadn't pointed them out. Thanks, man."

"Think nothing of it, Chief. We'll probably see plenty in the next week -- deer, elk, possibly some otters, maybe a badger; could even see a bear if we're unlucky."

"You make it sound like Shangri-La," Blair said, intrigued.

"Pretty close. I've only been up there twice, and never told anyone -- too selfish. Of course, someone else could find it the way I did, with a little research."

Blair widened his eyes in pretended shock. "My God, Jim Ellison admits to doing research? The world as we know it may end." He chuckled, and leaned away from Jim's half-hearted attempt to whap his head. "So tell me about this miraculous place."

"Stoneville -- it's a ghost town now, completely abandoned. It was mentioned in a book of local legends I read when I was a teenager, and this one grabbed me and stuck in my memory. Used to be a mining town, with a bit of lumbering on the side. But the mines played out, and the lumbering wasn't self-sustaining; it was too far from major waterways to transport the logs. 'Round about the eighteen-nineties, people started to drift away. Then the Spanish flu epidemic of nineteen-eighteen wiped out three-fourths of the remaining population. There weren't enough survivors to keep the town viable; everyone picked up and moved away. The buildings have fallen in, and the road is all grown over, but the fishing can't be beat, and the peacefulness is so deep you can hold it in your hands." Jim cast a half-abashed smile toward his friend. "I think you'll like it Chief, and it's so close to the middle of nowhere that no one will bother us."

"With our luck, I'm not going to bet on it." Blair chuckled. "But it sounds good, man, just what we need." He went back to watching the passing forest, until his memory tossed up one of Jim's statements. "So, what was the legend?"

"What?"

"You said you read about it in a book of local legends. What was it?"

"Oh..." He frowned in thought. "I really can't remember. At fifteen I was mightily impressed, but I guess I grew out of being impressed and forgot what it was." He shrugged. "You can check it when we get back to Cascade, if you want."

"Jim, I thought you understood the concept of 'forewarned is forearmed'," Blair protested. "I mean, it would be helpful to know whether we're supposed to look out for lake monsters or unicorns."

Jim gave him the 'sardonic raised eyebrow'. "Sandburg, neither of us needs to worry about unicorns, and the lake is too small for monsters. Of course, you might have to avoid the wood nymphs that want to carry you away."

"Better wood nymphs than the hulking ogres that might want you to join them." Blair snorted. "But I guess as long as it wasn't werewolves or vampires you've forgotten, we're good. So... how long till we get there?"

"Sandburg, you're worse than a kid. Three more hours, and worth every minute of it. So be a good little boy and watch the pretty trees go by."

"Jim?" Blair waited until his partner glanced his way, then stuck out his tongue, crossed his eyes, and thumbed his nose.

"Very mature, Chief; I'm impressed with how you're growing up."

Blair chuckled again and turned to watch the passing scenery. He could already feel the stress of the past few weeks being peeled away from his psyche and, judging by Jim's teasing, his friend felt the same. Yes, this week would be just what the doctor ordered.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


The sign read,
Welcome to Tonasket,
A Town of 1,000 Friendly People
(and three or four old grouches.)


Blair grinned; someone had a sense of humor. "So, what're we here for?"

"This is the end of civilization, Chief." Jim pulled up to the pumps in front of 'The Old Country Store'. "Last chance to gas up and get the perishables we'll need -- eggs and bacon, maybe a jug of juice since you won't be able to make your algae shakes out here. Why don't you go in and see what looks good while I fill 'er up?"

"Sounds like a plan, Stan." Blair approached the store, his anthropologist's gaze taking in every aspect. Small towns like this could provide fascinating nuggets of human interaction, so different from a large city, yet so similar in many aspects. He pushed through the weathered screen door, listening in delight to the tinkling of the bell overhead. Spying a stack of hand-baskets, he grabbed one and set off on what felt like a treasure hunt, meandering through aisles that showcased everything from artichokes to zucchini, with side trips past chicken feed, gardening supplies, and sewing fabrics.

Shortly thereafter, he had Jim's stipulated bacon and eggs -- from free-range local chickens, the carton assured him -- as well as a carton of orange juice. He'd also grabbed three plump, ripe tomatoes -- organically grown in local gardens, according to the sign -- that would be delicious in a morning omelet. As Blair reached the check-out counter, Jim appeared beside him. "This too, Chief," he said, placing a blueberry pie next to the other items. "My nose tells me it's homemade, without artificial anything."

"You got it, mister," the cashier assured him cheerfully as she started to ring up the items. "Sally Ann picks them berries herself, and makes the crust from scratch. You won't find a better pie in three states."

"Only three?" Jim asked, a twinkle in his eye. "You're supposed to tell us that it's the best this side of the Mississippi, or north of Los Angeles. We might think you're slighting Sally Ann's expertise if you only claim three states." He deftly avoided the elbow that Blair aimed at his ribs.

"Ain't been in those places, and don't know nobody that has," she retorted, matching his teasing with a smile of her own. "'Sides, if people from more'n three states was to come lookin', Sally Ann'd be hard-pressed to keep with the demand." She winked as she counted the change into his hand. "We need to keep enough for the townfolk to have their share. You sure you got everything, now?"

"We're planning on doing some fishing, and we could use some new flies," Jim answered, "but I didn't see any in the store. Is there a place in town where we can pick something up?"

"Yep; Tom's Tackle Box, about a mile down the road. We got an agreement; we don't sell fishing supplies, and he don't sell drygoods." She smiled merrily at what was obviously an old joke, served up fresh to anyone new. "It's just before the turnoff to Oroville. Got a big ol' fish carving out front, kinda like a totem pole; ya' can't miss it. Tell 'im Hazel sent ya'."

8-foot tall, rough-cut wooden carving of fish leaping out of water to snap a dragonfly.  Statue is situated in front of a steel-sided building, with clear blue skies overhead.



* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


After stopping for lunch at 'Sarge's Burger Bunker' -- Jim had vetoed Blair's suggestions of 'The Udder Restaurant' and 'All Perked Up - Groceries and Dining' -- they resumed their journey, traveling a narrow road through dense stands of trees.

The turn-off had a warning sign: Unimproved Road. Suitable only for trucks and 4-wheel drive vehicles. As Blair bounced on the seat, he wondered what it must be like after a hard rain. Probably impassable even to the reliable 'Sweetheart'. As they hit another pothole and his head narrowly missed impacting the roof, he wondered if they'd even make it over the current dry surface.

Finally, Jim pulled into an open circular area at the end of the rough road and parked. Stout wooden barriers -- cut from whole logs -- prevented vehicles from going further, although the lack of anything resembling a road past this point should have indicated that motorized passage was no longer allowed. The trees around them towered to tremendous heights and, with the motor shut off, the only sounds were the rushing of the wind through the treetops, and the chittering of birds among the branches. They might have been the only people on the planet -- were it not for three other trucks parked around the circle, and the well-used path that led off to their right.

"I think we're in trouble, Jim," Blair declared with ominous tones. "It looks like someone else has done their research. Remember, we need to be twenty miles from other people, not two hundred yards or whatever."

"Relax, Sandburg; those guys are just weekend warriors." Jim waved at the trailhead with a careless hand. "There's pretty good fishing about a half-mile down that path, but my place is even better. We're heading about five miles that way." His nod indicated a spot almost directly opposite the only visible trail. "We won't be bothered, because no one will even know we're there."

"Five miles?" Blair squeaked. "With all of this stuff?" His backpack was already bulging with a change of clothes, plus extra underwear and socks, and several books to enjoy when he wasn't fishing or hiking. Jim's backpack wasn't quite so full, but they also had to carry two sleeping bags, a tent, and their food, as well as the fishing poles and his spear.

Jim snorted and shook his head. "Yesterday, you were all gung-ho for twenty. I thought you were an old hand at expeditions, Sandburg. This is nothing. I'll lash the tent and my sleeping bag to the bottom of my pack, and you'll carry your sleeping bag the same way. We'll split the non-perishable food between our packs, and I'll carry the cooler with the perishable stuff. You'll carry the fishing gear, and we're good to go."

A short time later, Blair announced, "I can't fit all my share of the food in my pack, man. Do you have any room in yours?" Jim looked over to survey the situation.

"The problem is all those books, Sandburg; this is a fishing trip, not a literary convention. Leave some of them in the truck.

"There are only four!" he protested. "And two of them are paperbacks. I need something to do when we're not fishing."

Jim ticked the possibilities off on his fingers. "Fishing, hiking, swimming, wild-animal watching, cooking, eating, sleeping... and I figured you'd probably like to explore what's left of Stoneville."

Blair's silence was stubborn. He'd leave his laptop locked in the truck, but he needed something to read.

Jim knew an addict when he saw one; there was no fighting the need. "Look," he said patiently, "you can't read them all at once. Leave two here. When you finish the other two, it'll be a nice hike back to trade them out."

Blair had to admit that it made sense, and soon had the remainder of the food stowed in his pack. He heaved it onto his shoulders, grabbed the fishing gear, and turned to follow Jim into the forest.

It had been almost a hundred years since any logging had been done in this area. Although the trees weren't the giants found in old-growth forests, they were substantial enough to prevent the development of most underbrush. Jim and Blair walked over a cushion of moist earth and fallen leaf detritus, welcoming the shade that protected them from the early-afternoon sun. Within fifteen minutes Blair realized that, if he tried to find the truck, he'd be hopelessly lost. "Hey, Jim, how are you finding your way?" he wondered.

"I've got a compass." Jim lifted a hand to show what he held. "But mostly, I just know."

Oh, now, that was interesting. "'Just know' how, Jim? What information are you using?"

"Chief, I've had a lot of experience with this stuff. I just took a compass bearing, got a bead on the direction we need to go, and I can tell if I veer off a straight line. It's just... a gut feeling," he finished, unable to explain any more clearly.

"Sounds good," Blair assured him, not wanting to push any harder. But he filed the information away, wondering how he could test Jim's directional sense. If Jim had taken a bearing, then was blindfolded and turned, would he be able to find the same bearing again, still blindfolded? They might be able to use that information, sometime.

Thirty minutes later, Jim said abruptly, "It's the waterfall."

"Huh?"

"There's a small waterfall just above Stoneville, about fifty feet high. They used it to power a gristmill and sawmill. I've just realized that I'm following the sound; I must have heard it subliminally and locked onto it without noticing."

"Oh, man, that is so cool! So how far away are we now, and how far when we were at the parking lot?"

Jim paused, and turned in a circle, surveying the area. "About..." It seemed to Blair that he consulted some inner marker. "We're about three miles from the falls now, about five when we started." He pointed an admonishing finger at his guide. "And that's all the information you need; call it a real-world test and let it drop. This week is for relaxing, remember?"

Blair nodded reassuringly. "Got it, Jim; no tests," he promised. At least, not this week, he amended. He'd have to devise the bearing tests with and without distinctive sounds. But when you were dealing with a sentinel, could you find any place without distinctive sounds?

They walked on, Jim following his auditory marker and Blair following his partner, marveling once again about the things the sentinel could do.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


View of a small area of placid river, with leafy green trees to the left, and on the other side of the water. Two partially-submerged, branchless trunks protrude from the water, one lying across the other.  The green-gray water reflects the leaves around it.


Oh, yeah, Blair thought, this place is absolutely worth all the trouble to get here. He flicked his rod and dropped the fly on the glassy surface of the water, next to a fallen log that provided perfect shelter for a weary fish to rest, hoping to be protected from predators. Not this time, pal; you and I have an appointment for a dinner date. He lifted the rod-tip and flicked it again, allowing the fly to make a new 'landing' on the water.

On the opposite bank, and slightly downstream, Jim was performing his own flick-and-drop ritual; his fly landed next to a good-sized boulder. The sound of rapids downstream was barely audible -- to normal senses, anyway -- and served to enhance the quiet of this spot.

After having put up the tent, arranged the campsite, and gathered wood for a fire, they'd realized it was the perfect time to get in a little fishing before dark; with the lowering sun casting cool shadows across the water and bugs landing on the surface, the fish were rising to feed. Blair patiently played with his fly, and sent 'enticing' thoughts to any lurking trout. He hoped to gain a few more points in the unstated competition between him and Jim -- who would land the first fish, the biggest, the most, the shortest catch times? It amused him to play these games whenever he was engaged in a physical activity with Jim -- or any of the guys from Major Crime -- but he recognized it as typical male bonding behavior. Not that he and Jim needed any more bonding; their partnership couldn't be any more solid than it was. But maintaining an adequate level of 'B.S points' helped him fit smoothly into the closed society of the Police Department. Besides -- kicking ass once in a while was just plain fun. He lifted the rod-tip again, and set the fly down in another promising spot.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


With three trout between them -- enough for supper -- they had pulled in their lines and were headed back to camp when Jim stopped with hand upraised and head cocked. "Do you hear that?" he whispered.

Blair tried, but -- "No; what?"

"Wait here a minute; I'll put the fish in the river and be right back."

Jim disappeared silently into the shadows while Blair waited impatiently. He couldn't tell if Jim's actions were leading to a pleasant or unpleasant surprise. God, he hoped it wasn't gunrunners or poachers again; he'd turn in his Union card and drag Jim to Bora Bora with him.

Without warning, Jim was beside him again. Blair jerked, startled, but obeyed the caution of Jim's finger raised to his lips. "Don't say anything, and walk as quietly as you can," he instructed with the tiniest thread of sound. "Follow me." He turned and led the way into the shadows under the trees.

Although light lingered in the sky over the river, it was dark enough under the trees that Blair couldn't see clearly. He stretched out a hand to grab Jim's shirttail, ensuring that he'd be able to 'follow' wherever Jim led, and tried to step exactly in the ex-Ranger's footprints. If Jim could step without crackling sticks or dried leaves underfoot, then so could Blair.

Ten minutes later, Blair could hear high-pitched whistles and guttural chattering sounds; some kind of animal, obviously, but he wasn't sure what. In a few more moments, Jim tugged his arm to bring him down to the ground. They crawled forward, using a slight upthrust of the embankment as cover, then cautiously peered over the top.

Blair was immediately captivated. Below them, the river had widened into a small pool -- and that pool seemed to be a playground for at least a dozen river otters. They played with carefree abandon, strongly resembling children let out on the last day of school. Blair watched, entranced, as some of the animals took turns slipping down a mud 'slide' into the water, while the youngsters -- well, smaller animals, anyway -- played a fast game of 'tag' through the water and over some fallen branches. The scene was lit by the last rays of the setting sun, as if Mother Nature herself had invited them to a critically-acclaimed theatre performance.

But this is better than any play, Blair thought as he settled down to watch until the otters quit playing, or it became too dark for him to see. Beside him, he felt Jim settle in to wait patiently, and he raised a thumb to silently thank his friend for giving him such a treat.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


Blair was just putting his half of the third trout onto his plate when he noticed Jim cock his head and frown slightly. It couldn't be the otters; Jim had already identified and marked that sound, and would have dismissed it from 'alert status'. Blair closed his eyes to maximize his own hearing but, to his average senses, there was nothing unusual in the forest sounds around them.

"What've you got, Jim?" he asked quietly. "Whatever it is, I'm not getting it; you're hearing it at a sentinel level."

Jim seemed to hesitate. "It sounds like... a horse, moving fast. Not a runaway," he clarified. "More like a brisk canter. But it can't be; there's no roads out here. D'you suppose my hearing could be skipping over air layers or something, and picking up an echo from farther than I can usually hear?"

"Could be," Blair agreed cautiously. "Or maybe there's a road there now; it's been a lot of years since you were here, and there could be a new route from Tonasket to someplace else."

"I don't think so. If I can hear a horse from whatever distance it is, I could certainly hear any cars that would've passed this afternoon, and there's been nothing. All we have around us is uninhabited forest, all the way back to Tonasket." He stood and walked a few steps from the fire, still tracking the sound that Blair couldn't hear.

Blair looked around, evaluating the information Jim was giving him, as he followed his friend and stood close enough to prevent a zoneout. He trusted the sentinel's senses, he really did, but... "The moon is only three-quarters full," he pointed out, gazing upward to check the sky. "Can a horse go that fast under these conditions? It's not like they have headlights."

"Good point, Chief. They could do it if they know the area pretty well, but the rider would still be risking a bad fall if the horse put a foot in a hole it couldn't see in the ground-shadows." Jim shook his head and relaxed his listening pose. "Well, whatever it was, it's gone now." He returned to sit by the fire, pick up his abandoned plate, and put the last portion of trout on it. He chewed thoughtfully, then said, "What d'you say we hike that way tomorrow and see if there is a road I don't know about? If there is, it'll answer a lot of questions."

"And if there isn't?" Blair countered. He chuckled at the fierce glare Jim threw his way as he sat across the fire and grabbed his own discarded plate. "Hey, chill, man. Just trying to cover all possibilities. I'm sure it'll all be clear in the plain light of day; we just have to find it."

"You don't have to coddle me, Sandburg," Jim growled. "I know what I heard."

"I'm not! We've been through too much strange shit together; no way would I doubt your senses. You heard what you thought you heard. But just like always, we need to find the answers before we can be sure what's going on."

Jim grunted in acknowledgement. He hoped they could solve this little mystery quickly; they were supposed to be on vacation, dammit.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


They crested the top of a small rocky hill and looked down the other side to see -- nothing. Or at least, no road. The same forest that they'd been hiking through for two and a half hours spread before them, with a few breaks here and there from small creeks, or clearings caused by downed trees, but absolutely no sign of a road, or anything manmade.

Blair threw himself under the nearest tree. "Time out, man," he gasped as he twisted the top off his canteen. "I need a rest." Neither man was heavily burdened, each carrying only a canteen and a few emergency supplies 'just in case', but Jim had set a strenuous pace. The tree-growth cut off any breezes that might have cooled them and, despite the shade, Blair was hot and tired. He upended his canteen and took several deep swallows, then capped it again and leaned back against the tree to catch his breath.

Jim prowled the length of the stony outcropping, occasionally stopping to extend his vision or hearing, desperately hoping for some sign that would indicate a hidden road, or even a wide foot trail through the forest. He knew what he'd heard, dammit, and a horse had to have some kind of open area to travel as fast as a canter. If there was no such open space, then... what? He'd heard an auditory 'mirage'? He was going crazy?

"Jim," Blair called quietly, "come and chill out for a few minutes. If you collapse on the way back, I won't be able to drag your ass to camp -- assuming I can find the camp without you, anyway."

"Sandburg, I can do five times this distance with a forty-pound pack," he snapped. "I'm not going to be collapsing any time soon." But he squatted next to Blair and took a hefty drink from his own canteen.

"So, how far have we come?" Blair asked as he used the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face. "And have you seen or heard or smelled anything that would indicate the presence of something manmade?"

Jim shook his head in frustration. "About eight miles. And nothing since we passed Stoneville. Hell, there wasn't even a road near there -- like I told you, it's all overgrown. But there has to be something I missed," he snarled, rising to stare down into the forest again. "Otherwise..." He shrugged helplessly, unwilling to put his thoughts into words.

"Jim, you're not crazy," Blair calmly assured him. "Whatever you heard, it was real. Just because you can't find it now, doesn't make it less real. If you hear it again, we'll just have to figure out a different way to search, that's all." The broad shoulders in front of him remained rigid, apparently unconvinced. Blair sighed and tried again. "Okay, look -- do you know where Tonasket is from here?'

Jim pointed off to Blair's right. "Yeah, it's about ten miles that way."

"Okay. If you focus your senses, is there anything that would tell you there's a town over there, if you didn't know?" As he spoke, Blair stood and walked to Jim's side, ready to ground the sentinel as he searched. He waited patiently, letting Jim explore the range of his senses farther than they'd ever tried.

"I think so," Jim finally said, uncertainly. "It's like... the air is different over the town, somehow -- dustier, and I can... feel the gasoline pollution in the back of my throat. I think. It's so faint that I might just be imagining it."

"Nope." Blair seemed utterly certain. "Your senses just aren't used to stretching that far, so they don't have different levels to compare. You could refine it with practice, but that's not necessary. Now, you mentioned a combination of touch / taste / smell. Can you hear anything, like maybe a tractor in the fields, or a car horn on the street? Try it with and without the piggyback effect -- if your eyes will zoom you five miles closer to town, you could, like, listen from there as well as from here." Again he waited patiently, his hand gripping Jim's shoulder to keep him from zoning.

"You're right, Chief. From here, it's so faint that I wouldn't notice unless I was specifically trying to hear. But when I piggyback -- it was about four and a half miles out, I think -- I can hear the town easily."

Blair bounced in excited satisfaction. "All right! So now we know that you can hear clearly somewhere between five and ten miles. We've already walked eight, without finding a source for the sound you heard last night. If it was just another couple of miles in front of us, you'd recognize it easily from here -- would probably already have it pinpointed from a few miles back. If it's more than two miles in front of us, it would be too far for you to have heard it from camp. In other words," he grinned up at his friend, "we've come far enough to prove what you thought -- there is no road that a horse and rider could travel along, close enough for you to hear it. So if it happens again, we'll know to look for another explanation."

Jim cocked an eyebrow at the energized man in front of him. "You make it sound too easy, Chief. I still think there's something hinky going on -- but I don't see a way to get a handle on it right now. So, you ready to head back?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm dying for a swim to cool off and get rid of some of the dirt; I think the otter pool will make a great swimmin' hole. Let's go!" He turned and plunged into the trees at the edge of the outcropping.

Jim chuckled as he headed toward another section of the forest. "This way, Hiawatha -- unless you want to end up in Oroville about a week from now."

Blair grinned sheepishly and turned to follow his friend back into the depths of the forest.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


"Hey, Jim, can you tell how deep the pool is?" Blair asked as he shucked his clothing and left it draped over a convenient boulder. "I mean, is it deep enough to dive into, or just swimming depth?"

Jim paused in removing his own clothing and turned his senses on the water, letting himself feel the currents and movement. "It's pretty clear, about fifteen to twenty feet in most places. It's too shallow right here," he nodded at the muddy verge near them, "but if you go about a quarter way around that side, you'll be safe."

"All right!" Blair trotted over to make a visual check of the suggested area, then moved back about ten yards. "Cowabunga!" he shouted as he took a running start, then executed a cannonball into the sun-warmed pool, laughing delightedly at the resultant splashing explosion of water.

Jim shook his head; sometimes his friend was nothing more than an overgrown kid. On the other hand... "You're a piker, Sandburg!" he shouted as he started his own run to a cannonball jump. With his greater mass, the upward splash was considerably larger. He surfaced to find Blair still wiping water from his eyes. "Gotcha!" he chortled.

"Oh, I don't think so." Blair smiled sweetly, then rotated on his own axis and sent a surging kick-splash into Jim's face, immediately digging into the water to out-swim any retaliation.

Ah-ha! This was war. Jim was quickly in hot pursuit, following Blair as he dived and twisted through the water. But he soon discovered that his size didn't give him as much advantage as he'd expected. His greater arm reach and musculature let him move through the water more quickly than Sandburg, but the smaller man was much more flexible and agile, continually twisting away just when Jim thought capture was imminent.

Finally, after about fifteen minutes, they mutually declared the battle a draw, and ceased hostilities. Momentarily treading water, they grinned at each other in high good spirits. "Are you sure your animal spirit isn't an otter?" Jim asked.

Blair shrugged nonchalantly. "An otter would be a good spirit animal; it signifies a woman's healing wisdom -- no cracks, now! -- guidance in unmasking talents, which is useful for a recalcitrant sentinel, psychic awareness -- excellent talent for a shaman, you must admit -- and understanding the value of play. But as talented as otter is, he probably couldn't knock sense into panther's thick skull when necessary, so I better stick with wolf." He exhaled deeply, and let his body ease back into the water.

That looked like a good idea. Jim swam a few strokes to get out of accidental collision range, then he also lay back in the water. They floated quietly, supported by the buoyant water and warmed by the sun as breathing and heart rates returned to normal.

When the sun touched the treetops, Jim turned over and started swimming to the bank. "The fish are gettin' hungry, Chief," he called. "We need to be there if we want to eat tonight." He dried himself with his T-shirt -- it would dry before the air grew cool enough for him to need it -- and started to dress.

"Too bad we can't bottle this and take it with us," Blair said as he joined Jim and used his own T-shirt as a towel. "If we could sell it, we'd make a fortune."

"Sounds like a helluva karmic debt, Junior. What would Naomi say about you trying to sell peace? Shouldn't it be given freely?"

Blair turned and stared at his friend. "This is getting scary, man," he complained. "First you talk about research, and now you mention karmic debt. What's gotten into you?"

"Must be the company I keep," Jim suggested. "I've been hanging around with this real smart guy. He actually makes sense sometimes, and sometimes I even listen. Not that I'll ever tell him, of course." Although he kept his face sober, his eyes twinkled at his friend.

"Sounds about right, I guess. I, on the other hand, have obviously been hanging out with the wrong crowd." Blair shook his head mournfully. "You're right; selling peace is waaaay outta line. I'll have to do some heavy meditating and soul-searching when we get home. Still, it would be nice to have this when the job gets hectic."

Jim turned and led the way into the trees, back toward their camp. "I know exactly what you mean, partner. But we'll be able to swim again before we leave; no reason we can't do it every day. Then when we get home, we can hold it in memory -- and make plans to come back before the weather turns cold."

"It's a date," Blair declared firmly, "and I'll hold you to it; you won't be allowed to wiggle out of it."

"I'm counting on that, Chief."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


It was a little earlier than the previous evening -- the sun had only just disappeared below the mountains, and there was still light in the sky -- when Jim lifted his head and turned to face into the forest. Blair went immediately to his side, laying a hand on the sentinel's arm. "Is it the horse again?"

"Yeah, exactly like last night. Except..." he frowned and seemed to be straining, if that were possible. "There's another sound with the hoofbeats. Something weird, like... I dunno. It's kind of a swish-swish thing; doesn't make sense at all."

"You're pushing too hard," Blair suggested. "Instead of you going out to meet the sound, pull back and let it come to you. Let it flow into you, relax into it, and then let your sight flow to the source so maybe you can see what's making it." He waited quietly while Jim took a deep breath and relaxed tense muscles. A few more minutes, then Jim abruptly pulled away, breaking the connection between them.

"That's enough," he said brusquely, striding back toward the fire. "Let's get those fish cleaned and cooked."

"Jim? What --?" Blair hurried after him, but Jim didn't respond, seemingly absorbed with the supper preparations. All right; Blair would wait...

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


It was full dark, with stars shining overhead. They'd eaten and cleaned up, and now Jim sat staring into the fire, while Blair stared at his friend.

"Jim? I heard it too, this time. I swear," he went on hurriedly when Jim lifted his head to stare at him. "Maybe it was a sentinel-guide connection thing because I had my hand on your arm; it stopped as soon as you pulled away from me. I didn't hear the swish-swish you mentioned -- probably too soft a sound for my ears -- but I definitely heard the hoofbeats, man. It's not your imagination or you going crazy or something."

"Crazy might be better," Jim snarled. "These damned senses show me too much..." He took a deep breath and scrubbed his hands over his face, as if he could wipe away the after-image of what he'd seen, then watched Blair's face closely as he admitted, "It's a ghost."

Blair blinked; it was so unexpected. "A ghost? Like Molly?"

"A ghost, like Molly," he confirmed. "A lady riding sidesaddle, black habit, chestnut horse. I saw her as clear as I see you, but she wasn't quite -- solid."

Blair nodded. "Well, that makes sense. It explains why the horse doesn't need a road."

"Sense? Sandburg, you have a loose definition of the word." His voice sounded bitter, causing Blair to shift uneasily; the sentinel was hurting, and the guide would have to fix it. Jim continued, "They're probably using the old road, from before it got overgrown. But it doesn't explain what they're doing out here."

"Well, I suppose they lived in Stoneville, so of course they'd ride around here," Blair said reasonably.

"No, I mean, what they're doing here. Molly was trapped as a ghost because she needed her murder to be solved. So I have to wonder why this lady is still riding through the forest -- what's keeping her from finding her peace?"

Blair raked a hand through his hair. "That's a good question. Don't murder victims' ghosts usually hang around the place they died?"

"You think I know?" Jim growled. "But she could have been shot from ambush, somewhere around here. Or maybe had a bad fall and broke her neck."

"Death from a fall would be like natural causes," Blair objected. "It shouldn't precipitate -- 'ghosthood'."

Jim's frustration seemed to be rising toward the surface. "Well, whatever the cause, it happened," he snapped. "She's a ghost. And I'm a sentinel and you tell me the sentinel takes care of his tribe, but if that spreads out to ghosts, too, how the hell am I supposed to help them? It's too much, Chief; I can't do it all alone."

"You don't have to do it all alone," Blair gently reminded him. "The sentinel has a guide to help; whatever you need, man. And when we're in Cascade, you have the whole of Major Crime and the Police Department standing at your back. As for this ghost-rider," he shrugged and made his voice deliberately casual, "nobody says you have to help her." He gauged the effect of his words; would Jim rise to the challenge? "It's not really our problem; she can just keep riding until whenever."

"No, she can't." Jim's voice was firm, and he relaxed slightly as he made his decision. "Now that I know, I can't just walk away."

"I didn't think so, man. If you could ignore someone in need, you wouldn't be you," Blair said fondly. "But we need more information before we can make a plan. What d'ya say we go in to town tomorrow? I can check out the library, and maybe there's a local historian to talk to; I doubt we're the only ones to have seen and heard this ghost-lady."

Jim nodded and relaxed even more. Even so tenuous a plan as this gave him a feeling of control. "Good idea, Chief. And while we're in town, we can have lunch at Sarge's again."

"No way!" Blair protested. "You got to pick last time; now it's my turn."

"I warn you, Sandburg, I'm not stepping into that 'Udder' place."

"Yeah, yeah, no sense of adventure. But it's not that small a town; there has to be someplace we can both agree on."

They continued bickering amiably as they spread out their bedrolls. If there was to be time for research after hiking to the truck and driving into town, they'd have to make an early start. Jim made sure that the fire was completely doused, and soon a medley of very masculine snores rose to join the night noises of the forest.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


The library was easy enough to find, situated just one block off the main street. Jim pulled into a parking spot directly opposite the front doors, and turned to his partner. "Y'know, Chief, that blueberry pie was so good, I think we need another one. And Hazel strikes me as the type that would be happy to share the local legends with anyone who'll listen."

"Jim, Jim, Jim." Blair shook his head sorrowfully. "You're doing research, talking to people -- you're going to ruin your reputation, man. What will Simon and the gang think?" He sighed deeply. "But since you're trashing your rep anyway, seems like maybe you should get Simon a fancy new fly. I'll bet Tom could tell you a tale or two, in between the fishing stories."

"Good thinking, Chief; I'll just bet he could. So I'll leave you to poke through the newspaper files and ghost stories in here, while I go talk to Hazel and Tom. I'll come pick you up in a couple of hours and we can go to lunch."

"Sounds like a plan," Blair agreed. He grabbed his laptop -- he might want to transfer some of the information he hoped to find -- and hopped out of the truck, then watched as Jim headed off on his own fact-finding mission.

As he approached the library, he wondered if it served dual duty -- museum or cultural center, perhaps, as well as library. Many small towns had community buildings that encompassed multiple purposes, and this looked like it would fit the bill. It was a long, low building made out of peeled logs -- local timber, Blair supposed -- and had a totem pole sitting in front of lush trees to each side of the main entrance. He recognized traditional Coast Salish work, and paused to study each one; the workmanship was awesome.

Two native-carved totem poles, each standing in front of sunlit, leafy green trees, with low-growing white flowers around the base.


Inside, his suspicions of museum-cum-library were confirmed; Blair noticed displays of native baskets, weaving, pottery and carving. But he wouldn't find the answers he sought there; it was highly unlikely that a tribeswoman had donned a formal habit to roam the area in a sidesaddle.

Blair donned his 'friendly, eager grad student' persona -- not such a stretch, after all, and it would be more effective than a 'cop' demeanor -- and approached the comfortable-looking matron working behind the desk. "Hi," he said. "I wonder if you could help me?"

"I should hope so, young man," she said, smiling to take the sting out of her words. "That's a librarian's job, after all."

"And I think civilization would crumble without librarians," Blair declared fervently. "I'd probably have flunked out of college without the help of ladies like you."

She gave an unladylike snort. "And it's young men like you who make ladies like me old before our time. The soft soap isn't necessary; just ask your question."

"Right. Well, my partner and I are fishing in the area -- camping out -- and last night we got into the traditional 'telling ghost stories around the campfire' gig. And I need to write a paper for my Classic Americana class, and it suddenly occurred to me that local ghost legends would be just the ticket. So Jim dropped me off for a couple hours of research -- I'm Blair, by the way -- and I thought I'd dig into whatever material you have that deals with local legends. Or maybe Tonasket has an Internet page with that type of thing linked?"

"Good heavens, boy, do you ever breathe?" She smiled sunnily as she rose and headed toward the stacks, Blair following behind. "I'm Jonquil -- mama was a garden fancier; pleased to meet you, Blair. We don't have an Internet site, yet -- we figure maybe next year -- but you should be able to find what you want here." She handed Blair three thick volumes, and pulled down another three before leading him to a study table.

Jonquil lingered as Blair opened the first book, staring at him speculatively. She seemed to come to a decision, and said abruptly, "You spin a good tale, Blair, but I sincerely doubt that a young man would leave off fishing to research ghost stories. So I'm guessing -- you heard something out where you're camped? Maybe even saw something?" She watched his face intently, looking for any clue.

"Not really," he hedged. "It was probably just the wind, or something. We're city-folk, you know; not used to the noises of the deep woods." His smile invited her to share his mild embarrassment at being an awkward tenderfoot.

"Blair, I've been around the block a time or two; I know when someone's trying to pull the wool over my eyes. Would it help if I told you that you're not the only one who's seen or heard Miss Amelia?" Jonquil smiled at his drop-jawed expression. "I thought so; Miss Amelia is our best-known citizen." She pulled up a chair and sat facing him. So, you tell me everything you saw and heard, and I'll tell you all about Miss Amelia Featherstone."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


"Now, this is the most popular fly I carry," Tom said as he handed Jim a bit of orange and green fluff to examine. "The fishermen around here won't use hardly anything else; the trout'll rise to it when nothing else works."

Jim inspected it closely; it was well-made, with a certain indefinable something... "Very nice," he said approvingly. "Is it hand-tied?"

"Yep. Benny Jones makes 'em; says he likes to keep busy now that he's retired. He was Sheriff here for almost forty years. You wouldn't think it in a little town like this, but some of the things Benny's run into would curl your hair." Tom chuckled. "'Bout ten years back, we had some folks come in and set up a religious commune about three miles out of town; they believed that the human body was sacred and should never be covered up. Of course, what folks do on their own land is nobody's business but theirs, but when they came into town for shopping, it flustered some of the ladies. Benny had to go out and talk to them; said later he didn't know which was harder -- talking to the naked women or the naked men."

"Eyes-up would be difficult in those circumstances," Jim agreed.

"That's what Benny said, but at least they promised to wear clothes in town. It wasn't a problem for long, though; when the weather got colder, I guess the 'not covering the sacred body' thing didn't seem like such a good idea anymore. They all packed up and left before Halloween."

Jim nodded. "I work with the Cascade Police Department, and I've found that if you wait long enough, some problems will just go away. And some things that seem really strange have perfectly logical explanations. A couple of years ago, for instance, we had reports of ghost lights in an abandoned house, but it turned out to be teenagers playing some kind of fantasy game; what people saw was their flashlights waving around." He chuckled, inviting Tom to share the joke. "So I'm betting there's a logical explanation for the horse I thought I heard cantering through the woods, last night about sundown. Is there some kind of natural echo effect around here, with distant sounds bouncing off the hills, or something like that?"

"Well, it's like this. I got an explanation, but if you want logic, it might not set too well." Tom regarded Jim soberly, trying to gauge how open-minded he might be.

Jim shrugged. "That's another thing you learn, working in law enforcement; even if you don't like an answer, sometimes you just have to accept it."

Tom nodded. "Okay. Of course, if you don't believe it, it's no skin off my nose. What you heard was Miss Amelia on her horse. Lots of folks have heard her, and some have even seen her. She's been ridin' through here since eighteen seventy-two. But since eighteen eighty-six, she's been a ghost.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


Deciding on lunch at the Maverick's Bar and Grill, Jim and Blair requested a quiet, out-of-the-way table, ignoring the speculative looks of the waitress. After placing their orders -- steak, salad, baked potato and beer for each -- they quietly discussed their findings.

"At least we know it wasn't foul play," Blair stated. "Amelia died of pneumonia in her own bed."

"So why is she a ghost?" Jim asked. "No murderer to be caught -- or brought to light, since a perp would be long dead by now -- and not even a violent accident to trap her spirit on this side. It doesn't make sense."

Blair buttered a hot roll while he considered his answer. "I've got a theory about that. I think she's still here because she's happy, and doesn't have a reason to move on."

"You don't need a reason," Jim objected. "You die, you move on to the afterlife -- and hope it's a good one instead of bad. Unless your spirit needs closure, like having your killer found. It's not like we get to choose."

"I did," Blair quietly reminded him.

"Chief..." A pained expression crossed Jim's face. "Are you saying you shouldn't have chosen, or you wish you'd chosen to go on ahead?"

"Absolutely not! I came back because it's where I want to be -- standing by your side." Blair spoke earnestly, trying once again to convince Jim that he hadn't given up anything important when he became Jim's permanent and official partner, guide to his sentinel. "What I'm saying is, if I got to choose, why shouldn't other people have the same possibility?"

"It still doesn't make sense," Jim complained, "unless she was afraid of going to Hell, and it doesn't sound like she'd be a candidate. Hazel and Tom both told me she was well-liked by everyone around. Even though her father was the richest man in town, she was about as far from a rich bitch as you can get; she helped people get food and medical attention if they needed it, even paying for it out of her own pocket, and she talked her father into improving working conditions and wages for the miners and lumberjacks. She instigated changes that most people didn't think about for another hundred years. Sounds to me like her afterlife should be pretty damn good."

Blair nodded as he cut into his steak. "You're right; she was generous and giving. But according to Jonquil, she was still Daddy's spoiled little pet -- and I think that's why she's still hanging around."

"Huh? You lost me, Chief."

"Okay, answer me this -- why does our spirit move on to the afterlife? Don't bother; rhetorical question. If you believe the major religions, most of the time, it's because we want to join with our loved ones who went before.

"But Amelia didn't really have any 'loved ones'. She never married -- and do you realize how unheard-of it was at that time for a thirty-year-old woman to not be married, especially one who was born into British gentry? She probably got away with it because she had brothers to carry on the all-important family name, but still, her father must've really indulged her. No marriage means she didn't have children. She wasn't close to her nieces and nephews, because her married siblings had moved too far away for easy visiting -- and she died before them, anyway. Because she died so young, even her parents outlived her." Blair shrugged, waving a hand as if it was self-evident. "No loved ones on the other side to draw her over, so she decided to just hang around and ride her horse."

"Tom did say it was her favorite activity," Jim agreed. He paused, thinking about it while he drank some beer, then continued, "But once her parents did pass on, why wouldn't she join them?"

"I think it's typical teenage behavior, sort of like a hundred years of saying, 'Later, dude'. Jonquil gave me the impression that Amelia never really matured; her mother ran the house, plenty of servants did the work, and Amelia did pretty much whatever she wanted -- which was mostly riding her horse all over this part of the country. When parents call kids to do something, for instance, how often do the kids say, 'In a little while', and the little while drags out for hours?"

"Not in my house, Chief."

"Well, not every kid or teenager; it depends on the home discipline," Blair conceded. "But I think Amelia was having so much fun riding that, when her parents died and she might have heard a call to 'come home', she said 'In a little while'... and her 'little while' isn't over yet. According to Jonquil, Amelia frequently said she'd like to ride forever. I think she just grabbed onto 'forever' and didn't let go."

"But how can we be sure? I hate to think of her wandering around because she doesn't know her parents are waiting for her to come home. That leaves Amelia and her parents just... empty."

Interesting, Blair thought. He cares so little for his family, and so much for other people's. He nodded, then shrugged. "Her parents, maybe, but not her. I think the town knows how she feels; I'll bet some people have actually met her, from time to time. Jonquil talked about Amelia like she's a favorite niece that everybody indulges. If they thought she was unhappy, they'd want her to move on, to find the peace she deserves. But they know she's already at peace, doing what she loves, so they don't worry about it."

"Tom and Hazel said the same thing. But what if they're wrong?" Jim challenged. "What if she's still here because nobody ever told her she could cross over? What if -- oh, I don't know -- maybe she doesn't even know she's dead, doesn't realize she's a ghost. Maybe that's the reason we're seeing her -- something wants us to step in and show her the way home."

Blair thought about it while the waitress refilled their water glasses and they ordered dessert. "What we have here is competing assumptions," he declared. "I think Amelia's happy, and we don't need to do anything. You think she needs to go home, whether she wants to or not. But neither of us can prove our assumption -- unless we ask her."

"And how do you expect us to do that, Chief?"

"Well, you talked to Molly," Blair pointed out. "But I suppose it would be tough to chase Amelia cross-country to talk to her. So I'm thinking maybe I could meditate my way onto the spirit plane, and talk to her there."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


After the predictable objections, Jim had agreed with the idea. Before leaving town, they'd stopped at the local health food store so Blair could buy some organically produced bay leaves and -- after first checking with Jim to be sure that the sentinel didn't find the smell irritating or offensive -- some catnip. Both could be used in Wiccan rituals to enhance psychic abilities; Blair figured one or the other should help him reach the spirit plane and contact Amelia.

Now, with sunset coming on, he'd completed his simple preparations and sat cross-legged, relaxed in front of a tiny fire. Jim was sitting a short distance away -- upwind, just to be safe from traces of herbed smoke. He'd watch over his guide to be sure that nothing untoward happened.

Blair crushed a mixture of catnip and bay leaves between his palms, mixing the broken bits with the oils of his hands, then sprinkled them on the flickering flames. He closed his eyes and pictured Amelia as Jim had described her -- an attractive woman with laughing brown eyes and dark hair worn in a bun under a silk top hat, dressed in a plain, dark riding habit and riding a chestnut mare. He leaned forward to breathe in the smoke and felt his mind start to drift; releasing control, he went where the spirits would take him.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


Blair Sandburg rode his bay gelding out of Stoneville, heading toward the large house -- almost a mansion -- a half mile away. He had a riding date with Amelia Featherstone, and it wouldn't do to be late; the lady was highly independent and would ride off alone if she had no one to escort her.

Before he got to the house, he examined as much of himself as he could. Hunh! Had the spirit plane affiliated with Enterprise's holodeck? He was wearing tight white breeches and black knee-high boots. His black jacket had -- he turned to glance behind him -- uh-huh, long tails which fell to either side of the saddle. Underneath was -- jeeze, he'd get laughed out of Major Crime with all the ruffles and that particular shade of waistcoat. Salmon, his mind supplied helpfully, very fashionable in the eighteen-eighties. He sighed deeply and cocked an eye upward; yep, he even had a top-hat on his head.

As Blair approached the front of the house, he saw that he was barely in time. Amelia had just settled herself in the saddle. She looked like a period fashion-plate, wearing a simple but elegantly-designed riding habit in a deep green that contrasted well with her horse's copper-colored coat. Under the open collar -- good grief; his shirt was frillier than hers. He shook his head at the vagaries of fashion, grateful to be living a hundred years later. Blair watched as Amelia gathered her reins and nodded to the groom, who released his hold of the bridle and stepped back. With an encouraging cluck and a tap of her heel, she started down the drive.

Okay; showtime. He had to remember that he was a nineteenth-century gallant. As her horse approached his, Blair swept off his hat and bowed deeply. "Well met, Miss Featherstone! It's a nice day for a ride, isn't it?"

"Indeed it is, Mr. Sandburg." Amelia smiled enthusiastically, revealing a dimple on each cheek. "After the rains last week, it's pleasant to see the sun again. Amber feels the need to stretch her muscles after being cooped up for so long, and I am in complete agreement with her." She leaned forward to stroke the horse's neck.

Blair turned his horse to ride beside her as they trotted down the road. He admired the way she sat the saddle, and her control of her horse. Amelia seemed as comfortable on horseback as she would be in her own drawing room; she obviously was not a weekend rider who mounted a horse only to impress prospective beaus. "And I agree with you both," he said courteously. "Captain is also eager to stretch his legs."

"Then we should stop dilly-dallying." Her smile was a challenge as a tap of the crop sent her horse into a free-moving canter.

Blair grinned and let her keep the lead, since he had no idea where they were going. They stayed on the road for a couple of miles, then turned into the forest. The trail was fairly open, but it was necessary to moderate their pace to a more collected gait as they wove through the trees, passing from sunlight to shade and back again.

Eventually Amelia slowed to a trot, and then a walk as they emerged into an open grassy area at the edge of a bluff. Below them wound the river, and on the other side was the vast northern forest, rising to snow-capped mountains in the distance.

"I come here all the time," Amelia said quietly. "I think it must be the most beautiful spot within a hundred miles. I imagine Heaven must be like this. If it's not, I'd rather stay here than go there." Her glance suggested she was testing him, to see if he'd be shocked by her heresy.

"It is truly awe-inspiring; I can see why you love it so. But since it was made by God, don't you think His own home would be even more beautiful?"

Amelia shrugged. "Perhaps. But it's a matter of taste, isn't it? Some people prefer apple pie, and some prefer cherry. One is not better or worse than the other -- especially since the good Lord gave us both apples and cherries. I just know that if I could choose, I'd spend eternity riding through these hills and forests.

"And I have chosen, Mr. Sandburg." She turned and looked directly at Blair while he gaped, trying to play mental catch-up. "I'll go home eventually, but Mama and Papa will wait until then. So you can tell anyone who wants to know, that I'm quite happy to be exactly where I am."

"You know?" Blair gasped.

"That I'm a ghost? Of course, silly boy. I also know that you're a visitor to this level of existence. I appreciate the concern that brought you here, but it is truly unnecessary. I can go home whenever I want; I'm simply not yet ready." She turned her horse and headed toward another path through the trees, with Blair riding beside her. "But you shouldn't stay here too long; there is a possibility of getting lost and not finding your way back to your own level."

"Jim would find me," Blair muttered, hardly aware of what he was saying; he was still trying to absorb this new information.

Amelia nodded agreeably. "Oh, I'm sure he would; friends like that are an incomparable treasure. But you don't want to put him to all that trouble, do you?"

Blair shook his head gently, then more firmly as he shook off his surprise. "Forgive me, Miss Featherstone," he said, giving her another sweeping bow. "I've been churlish to question your decisions, even by innuendo. I'm sincerely pleased that you're happy with this level of existence, and I'll make no more suggestions against it."

Amelia laughed in delight. "Oh, very prettily spoken, Mr. Sandburg; you might almost be born of my time." She winked to see him blush. "But I'll tell you something... I have a friend as close to me as yours is to you, but it is not yet time for us to be together. When my friend is called home, then I'll go to join her, and later we'll be born into new lives, together. Every end is a new beginning, Mr. Sandburg; sometimes it just takes a little while. And in the span of eternity, a hundred years is a very short time indeed."

Since her beliefs matched his, Blair could hardly disagree. As they turned onto the road back toward Stoneville they trotted side by side, sharing easy conversation until it was time for him to go back to his body, and to Jim.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


Jim sat with Blair's spare shirt in his hand. He didn't want to touch Blair and risk breaking the meditative trance, so he used the scent on the shirt to help him stay grounded as he split his attention between listening for the ghostly hoofbeats and monitoring his guide's vital signs. So far, so good -- Blair's heartbeat and respirations were about twenty percent slower than normal, but rhythmic and steady.

It was a long wait; the sun was well down and the stars shone brightly before he heard the sound of trotting hoofbeats. Remembering Blair's instructions of the previous evening, he deliberately relaxed his attention to let the sound flow through him, then followed it outward with his vision. And there they were, Sandburg and Amelia trotting side by side down a sunlit road. Jim recognized the devilish tilt of Sandburg's eyebrows; he had just said something outrageous, and Amelia's peals of laughter floated on the breeze.

Jim laughed too, in mingled relief and amusement. The image of Sandburg with crisp white ruffles at his throat and a pink vest would stay with him for years to come. Too bad he couldn't take a picture, but even a verbal description should make good blackmail material.

He watched as the riders stopped in front of a large house on the outskirts of a town that was in considerably better repair than its present-day state. Blair dismounted quickly and helped Amelia down, then bowed over her hand as if he'd been born to it. Jim chuckled; it seemed that his friend could charm the ladies of any era. He glanced toward the man sitting by the fire. When he looked back, the spirit images -- or whatever he'd been observing -- were gone.

About time, Jim thought as he hurried toward the fire; he'd been concerned that Blair had been out of body too long. But now his heartbeat and respirations were increasing to normal levels. Jim knelt in front of him with barely-controlled patience. Finally, Blair inhaled a long, deep breath and opened his eyes. There was no sign of disorientation as he smiled up at his friend. "Hey, Jim. I'm back."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


Blair sipped at his cup of coffee while Jim 'debriefed' him. "Are you sure, Chief? She actually said she's a ghost, and she's okay with not going to the afterlife?"

Blair kept his sigh internal; as irritating as it was that Jim kept repeating the same points, he recognized it as simply an indication of how much his friend cared -- especially about someone who might be a victim.

"Yes, Jim, I'm absolutely sure. She's exactly where she wants to be, and she'll move into the afterlife when she's good and ready. I told you she was headstrong."

"You said 'indulged'," Jim pointed out.

"The two frequently go together," Blair retorted. "A kid who grows up indulged often becomes a headstrong adult. You didn't talk to her; Amelia has that in spades. But whatever; there's no crime here, and we certainly can't haul her off in handcuffs and shove her through the pearly gates." He hesitated to voice his speculations, but maybe his observations would help Jim accept the situation. "Besides, I think she has an ulterior motive. She's a guide who's watching over the person who will be her sentinel in the next life."

Jim glared suspiciously. "You said that herbal stuff only enhanced psychic abilities, not that it caused hallucinogenic trips. Where did you come up with that idea?"

"Several things she said. When I slipped and said you'd find me if I got lost on the spirit plane, Amelia agreed that you could; it's like she knew you have special abilities that most mortals wouldn't be able to use.

"And then there's what she said about the other person she's waiting for -- called her a 'special friend', and said her special friend is as close to her as you are to me. I know, I know," Blair said hurriedly, seeing the doubt cross Jim's face. "But it wasn't the words, so much as the innuendo. Amelia recognized an unusual connection between you and me, recognized that you have abilities that aren't common to most people, and as much as said that she and her friend have the same relationship that you and I have. Ergo, sentinel and guide."

"Don't you think she's too calm to be a guide who's separated from her sentinel?" Jim objected. "I mean, whenever I'm doing the sentinel thing, you'll plow through anyone or anything that gets in the way. And I appreciate it, I really do," he added quickly, forestalling the justification that Blair seemed about to offer. "I'm just saying, I can't see you observing from a distance and doing nothing when I need help with my senses; you'd go ape-shit crazy. So if Amelia's a guide, why is she okay with it?"

"I think her sentinel's abilities are dormant in this lifetime. If the sentinel never comes online, the guide is out of a job, so to speak. But whether or not a guide is needed, they're likely to feel better if they keep watch over their sentinel. Assuming they know they're guide to a sentinel, of course, which I think Amelia does." He shrugged, outspread hands signaling that this was merely supposition. "And maybe she's trying to make sure that she and her sentinel get born into the next life at the same time and place, so she's hanging around here until she knows the time is right -- like, when the person who's carrying her sentinel's spirit crosses into the afterlife, she will, too."

Jim frowned, trying to follow Blair's logic. "Chief, that's way out there, even for you. Do you really believe we -- or our spirits -- have that much control over the lives we're born into? I've gotta say, I've seen a lot of shitty lives that I can't believe anyone would deliberately choose. And if Amelia had that much control, why would she have to wait? She could be next to her sentinel right now, helping to awaken and control the senses."

Blair shook his head, radiating exasperation. "Jim, I don't have the answers to life, the universe and everything; I'm just trying to put the pieces together with a lot of wild guesses. IF a spirit can affect its next life -- and that's a big 'if' -- it wouldn't be like walking into the video store and ordering the movie you want to watch; there are bound to be all kinds of variables. Some will be more successful, others less, and still others wouldn't even have a clue, which could account for the shitty lives some have to endure."

"And it could be just one big crap shoot, and you're blowing a lot of hot air," Jim suggested.

"I said that, didn't I? I don't know how it all works -- nobody does -- but I do know that Amelia is happy and doesn't need our help. So we can relax and finish enjoying our vacation and the next time she rides by, you can just wave and go back to fishing."

Jim poured himself another cup of coffee while he pondered Blair's ideas. He wasn't completely convinced, but Blair was right about one thing -- there was absolutely nothing he could do to help Amelia Featherstone. "Okay," he acknowledged, "you've made your point. Amelia can ride to her heart's content, and we'll just keep right on fishing."

Blair made sure to project warm encouragement. "That's the spirit!"

"Sandburg, you did not just make a bad pun," Jim growled.

"Why not? It seems a suitable 'pun'-ishment for a sentinel who doesn't listen to his guide." Blair's eyebrows were doing that wicked tilt thing again.

"Didn't you hear? The Hilarious Order of Funnymen were successful in getting the Legislature to pass a new law -- punning without a license is now a third-class felony. It's 'pun'-ishable by being forced to watch twenty hours of old Phyllis Diller reruns."

Blair groaned theatrically. "With material like that, you'll be right next to me. Think carefully, man -- do you really want to continue this?"

"You're right, Sandburg. It probably wouldn't 'pun' out, after all."

"I don't have to take this abuse!" Blair declared in outraged tones, dramatically stalking toward the tent. "I'm turning in. Maybe by morning your jokes will be less 'pun'-gent." He ducked quickly through the open flaps, as if the thin fabric would protect him. Jim couldn't see the broad smile that signified his immense relief that his sentinel had regained his peace.

Jim smiled gently as he doused the fire. "Thanks, Chief," he murmured. "I needed that." He stirred the ashes to make sure they were dead, then followed his guide into the tent, and soon into sleep.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


The next three days passed as they had originally intended -- fishing, swimming, a few gentle hikes, Jim pointing out and helping Blair sneak close enough to see the wildlife. Blair did walk through Stoneville, but he found it depressing after having seen it in its heyday and didn't stay long. Jim heard Amelia each evening, but at a farther distance that didn't intrude on their peace.

The last evening was cool and a bit misty. It was a welcome change after the heat of the day, although the swirling mists seemed to invite the specter of ancient, prehistoric visions. After supper and cleanup, Blair lay staring into the fire, seeming a hundred miles -- or maybe a hundred years -- away. "Penny for 'em, Chief," Jim prompted.

"Huh? Oh, I'm just thinkin'. It's kinda nice to know that you and Alex can't be the only ones with enhanced senses. If Amelia expects to rejoin her sentinel in the future, that must mean that the genetic code is still viable. I wonder how many there are around the world right now?"

"Doesn't matter, Chief; I'm not sharing you with any other sentinel," Jim warned.

"I expect you're right; it may be that a sentinel and guide have to be exclusive to each other. But it might be fun to help another sentinel/guide pair get their feet under them, help them avoid some of the pitfalls we ran into. I wonder if Amelia and her sentinel will be born in our lifetime?"

"Not too likely we'd recognize them," Jim pointed out. "Even if we did, you can hardly walk up to whoever it will be and say, 'Didn't I meet you as a ghost a while back?' They'd probably send the men in white coats after us."

Blair grinned briefly. "That would not be cool," he agreed. "Still, I can't help but wonder."

Jim snorted. "I wonder if this seeing ghosts thing is going to become S.O.P; it could turn into a real pain in the ass. Still..." his voice became teasing, "there is one positive aspect to this whole thing."

Blair couldn't ignore the challenge. "Only one? I counted at least five. So what's yours?"

"If we keep our mouths shut, the gang in the bullpen won't ever know. A ghost lady won't be able to send flowers with sappy notes attached."

"But if we don't tell them about Amelia, you won't be able to share the juicy details of my sartorial splendor with our fellow detectives. Admit it, man; you're bustin' to tell the story."

"I was trained to withstand torture, Sandburg; I think I can control myself," Jim retorted. "Besides --" He stopped and cocked his head, looking out into the mist.

"Amelia?" Blair asked.

"Of course. C'mere, Chief." When Blair stepped up beside him, Jim reached out to grasp his hand.

Now Blair could hear -- and see -- Amelia riding straight toward them. As she came closer, she smiled and waved, then turned her horse back into the trees. Just before she disappeared into the haze, Blair was sure he heard her say, "Godspeed, Mr. Sandburg."

Jim took a deep breath. "That settles it, Chief. The potential for blackmail about your pink vest just isn't worth the aggravation we'll get if the gang learns about this. We will never mention this where anyone else can hear. Deal?"

"Deal," Blair agreed. "They'd probably just spoil the memory anyway."

Satisfied, Jim released Blair's hand and returned to the fire for another cup of coffee. Blair lingered for a few more moments, staring into the swirling mists. "Goodbye, Amelia," he whispered. "Godspeed to you, too -- and to your sentinel."

 A view into a misty forest.  We see mostly tree-trunks, some splotched with moss, fading into the distance.  They rise out of a profusion of green, mostly ferny, growths.  In the middle foreground, a woman riding sidesaddle, wearing a black riding habit and top hat, is seated on a chestnut horse; they are heading away from the viewer, deeper into the forest.


The End



The Way Through the Woods by Rudyard Kipling

They shut the road through the woods
Seventy years ago.
Weather and rain have undone it again,
And now you would never know
There was once a road through the woods
Before they planted the trees.
It is underneath the coppice and heath,
And the thin anemones.
Only the keeper sees
That, where the ring-dove broods,
And the badgers roll at ease,
There was once a road through the woods.

Yet, if you enter the woods
Of a summer evening late,
When the night-air cools on the trout-ringed pools
Where the otter whistles his mate.
(They fear not men in the woods,
Because they see so few)
You will hear the beat of a horse's feet,
And the swish of a skirt in the dew,
Steadily cantering through
The misty solitudes,
As though they perfectly knew
The old lost road through the woods. . . .
But there is no road through the woods.


* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *






Author's Notes


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Title: All that Glitters
Summary: Jim and Blair are still learning to work together while dealing with a troublesome case.
Style: Gen
Size: 27,140 words, about 54 pages.
Warnings: Use of OCs.
Notes: Written summer 2008, for winning request of Moonridge 2007 auction
Feedback: Not necessary, but every one is treasured
Email: If you prefer not to post a comment that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





All That Glitters

by StarWatcher



Dedicated to Gerri, for her generous donation to Moonridge,
and her faith in me as a writer. Thank you.




Wednesday, 9/4/96

"You're awfully chipper this morning," Jim remarked as he watched Blair bustle -- there was no other word for it -- around the kitchen. The coffee had finished perking; Jim poured two cups, as well as two glasses of juice, and carried them to the table.

Blair smiled sunnily as he turned off the stove and scooped the scrambled eggs onto two plates. "Yeah, man, I can't help it. It's like a drug -- the first weeks of school always get me high. He joined Jim at the table, slipping one plate in front of his friend, and reached for a piece of toast.

Jim's voice was amused. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Chief, but wasn't that you last spring, grumbling about the laziness of today's students, and the idiocy of any teacher who thought he could pound some kind of education into their thick skulls?"

"Well, yeah, but now it's a whole new year!" Blair's amusement matched Jim's. "You see, there's always the possibility that there'll be a few students -- or several -- who really 'get it', who love to learn and are enthusiastic about it. And it's a joy to nurse that along, and watch them spread their wings and take off. But then when they're soaring freely, the poor put-upon teacher -- that's me, by the way -- still has to deal with the earthbound dolts who expect to be spoon-fed, and then argue about your technique. So by the end of the year you're ready to throw in the towel. But hope springs eternal, and with the new year, anything is possible," he proclaimed as he spread his arms expansively. "So I'm ready to challenge the world -- bring it on! Neither fiendish freshmen nor supercilious seniors shall force me from the battlefield!"

Blair downed his juice and set the glass down with a decided 'thump', then shrugged as he shook his head and waved off his last statement. "Nah, ignore that guff; I told you I was high. But it's a cycle, man. Sometimes the positive aspects are stronger, and sometimes the negative aspects bite you in the ass, but it all evens out eventually, and in the final analysis I call it 'good'." His eyes twinkled as he continued, "Which doesn't mean I won't be bitching next March. But then in September I'll be high again -- and it's completely legal." He chuckled, inviting Jim to share the joke.

"Make sure you keep it that way, Junior; this nose will be able to tell if you pass within fifty feet of burning weed," Jim threatened, then stared thoughtfully at Blair over his coffee cup. And this crazy kid gave me the control to do that, he realized. He still wasn't sure why he continued to allow Sandburg to stay in his spare room; the 'one week' had passed months ago, and the kid's personality and presence were encroaching on the whole rest of the loft -- with the lone exception of Jim's own bedroom. Not to mention that his off-the-scale energy could be nerve-wracking at times. On the other hand, that same energy fed Sandburg's enthusiasm for helping Jim find ways to control his senses. You'd be up shit creek without that 'crazy kid', so don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Keeping his thoughts to himself, Jim observed, "I thought classes didn't start till Monday. What's so special about today?"

"Hey, the students need time to settle in and get their schedules sorted out before they actually sit down in class. And the freshmen need to go through orientation. Which means..." Blair glanced at the clock and carried his dishes to the sink, "...I gotta get a move on." He rinsed everything, stacking it for later washing.

"So, are you stuck on campus all day, or will you be in to the PD later?" Jim asked.

"I should be; things usually slow down by early afternoon. Let's say two, and I'll call if I can't make it, okay?" With a quick, "See ya," Blair slung his backpack over his shoulder and was out the door.

Jim shook his head with fond amusement as he carried his own dishes to the sink, where he turned on the hot water and added dish-soap. Even rinsed, the dishes would offend his sentinel senses by the time he returned to the loft after work, and he had time enough to wash them now. He hoped Blair would make it to the PD later; somehow, things -- his senses -- were just more... comfortable when the kid was around. But I should be able to manage on my own!, he thought, with a mental growl of frustration. I hope I reach that point sooner rather than later; God knows how long Sandburg will be willing to hang around. Finished washing the dishes, Jim grabbed his gun and badge and headed toward a day of witness interviews; maybe he'd get a break in his current case.




Desirée Kawasani pulled her red Dodge Caravan into the handicapped space at the corner of Bransfield Dorm and used the car's horn to initiate her distinctive 'recognition call' -- a long and two short beeps, followed by long, short, long -- her initials, tapped out in Morse code. Sure enough, a smiling, eager face peered through the window a few spaces down, a hand waved madly, and then the face disappeared abruptly -- which was exactly what she'd expected. Desirée just hoped that Summer wouldn't trample anybody as she dashed down the hall toward the main entrance.

Despite her facility with the procedure, it took a finite time to release her wheelchair from the driving position, maneuver it into the hydraulic lift, and ride it to ground level. Just as Desirée slid open the door, Summer rounded the corner of the dorm at a dead run and pulled up to wait impatiently, bouncing on her toes, until the lift had settled firmly on the pavement.

"Dessie! You made it!" Summer squealed in delight, bending down to give her best friend a heartfelt hug, which was returned with interest.

"Well, of course I did," Desirée assured her. "I couldn't let you hog all the fun for yourself."

"No fun without you," Summer replied with loyal sincerity.

"Because you don't try," Desirée pointed out in a faintly accusing tone. She raised her hand as if taking an oath. "But I promise to keep my evil influence under firm control... at least until you need a push," she finished, winking broadly. "Did you talk to any cute, unattached guys while you were home?"

Summer blushed and mumbled something inaudible while she busied herself pulling her friend's luggage out of the van. She dropped some small packages into the basket hanging from the handles in back of the wheelchair, balanced the vanity case on Desirée's knees, and extended the wheels of the large suitcase. "We'll have to make a couple more trips," she announced as she strode forward. "Or maybe we can borrow the janitor's big platform-dolly and get the rest of it all at once."

Desirée chuckled as she locked the van and followed her friend, pushing strongly against a slight upslope. From that reaction, she'd bet anything that Summer had met someone during the summertime break, probably been attracted -- and done absolutely nothing about it. As far as Desirée was concerned, the girl was way too shy around boys -- well, around people in general, but it was much worse around boys -- and it was so silly. Summer van Eisen just didn't realize that she was cute as could be, with a sturdy but curvaceous figure, bright blue eyes, curly brown hair, and engaging smile. Half the guys on campus would be swarming around her like bees around a flower, if she'd just give them a hint of encouragement.

Desirée kept her thoughts to herself as she wheeled through the door that Summer was holding open for her, and headed down the hallway, with her friend now following behind. They had three more years of college ahead of them -- four if they went for their Masters', which was likely -- and Rainier was a big university, with a lot of good-looking guys. Somewhere in that lot there must be someone that Summer would 'click' with, who was kind and caring enough to be worthy of her friend. Aloud, she asked over her shoulder, "So, which room did they put us in?"

"Fourth down on the left, right next to where we were last year."

Desirée stopped in front of the door, while her friend leaned around her to unlock it and push it open. "Home, sweet home -- at least for the next nine months," Summer announced as she followed Desirée into the room, and lifted the suitcase onto the unmade bed.

"Well, you've certainly improved the basic packaging," Desirée replied appreciatively. "Looks good."

It did. Summer had replaced the beige dorm curtains with a bright green, white and yellow print, and her green bedspread had flecks of yellow in it. They'd coordinate well with the green-and-white bedspread that Desirée had in her luggage. She felt a flash of gratitude that her friend had remembered such a detail while choosing the obviously new décor.

While they unpacked -- Summer working 'high' and Desirée working 'low' -- they caught up with what each had done during the university hiatus. Summer admitted that, yes, there had been a cute guy home from Washington State U, but nothing had happened. Of course not! Desirée thought with fond exasperation.

After everything was put away, Summer took the keys to the van and went in search of the janitor's dolly, declaring that, after Og's hard work in inventing them, it was senseless to ignore the power of the wheel. It was an old joke, and Desirée gave the expected response. "Of course, he only got around to it because his wife kept nagging him. You know what they say --"

Summer joined in like a chorus, "-- Behind every successful man is a good woman." Summer laughed, and Desirée grinned as her friend hustled out the door -- Summer hustled everywhere, except when she was walking with Desirée -- and then turned to survey their room.

As she looked at all the little touches that shouted 'Summer' -- the curtains, the posters on the wall that Desirée could never have put up, the throw-rug by her bed that Summer had gotten special permission to put down with double-sided carpet tape so that it wouldn't slip out from under Desirée's shaky legs -- she was struck, again, by how lucky she was to have met Summer last year. They'd 'clicked' instantly, and thirty minutes later it had felt as if they'd known each other forever. As different as they were externally, there was a rock-solid connection that reverberated between their psyches. Soul-sisters, Desirée thought with comfortable satisfaction. It was simply icing on the cake that Summer never made her feel 'handicapped'; Summer paid no more attention to her limitations than she did to Desirée's small, skinny physique, long, straight hair, or brown eyes -- it was, for Summer, just part of the package that made up 'my friend, Dessie'.

Although that wasn't exactly true. Summer did pay attention to her limitations, making thoughtful accommodations seemingly without noticing. Rather than each girl using a dresser on one side of the room, as most roommates did, Summer was using the top and bottom drawers of each -- because she could reach higher and bend lower -- while Desirée had use of the four middle drawers. The desk-chair on Desirée's side of the room had already been returned to Housekeeping, to leave room for her wheelchair. Summer walked slower when she was beside Desirée, and never seemed impatient to go faster. Summer's legs were at Desirée's disposal when she needed them, and her hands seemed an extension of Desirée's own. And every time Desirée tried to offer her gratitude, Summer seemed uncomfortable and confused; she seemed to think what she did was nothing special. Someday, Desirée might have to share some of her life stories, though she wasn't sure, even then, that Summer would truly understand.

It was a precious friendship, and Desirée intended to hold it tightly, dreading the day when they might go their separate ways. Three more years, or even four, simply wouldn't be long enough; she wanted a lifetime. Maybe they could find jobs in the same city after they graduated. But in the meantime, the only way Desirée could think of to thank her friend was to help her find a suitable boyfriend, someone who might become a loyal, loving husband. Summer would resist, of course, but Desirée might talk her into it if they double-dated. Maybe I could find brothers who suit both of us. If she's my sister-in-law, we'd always be connected.

Desirée heard Summer whistling as she approached, and hastily wiped the emotional tears from her eyes, smiling brightly as her friend opened the door. Summer carried baggage and packages into the room and tossed them on the beds, then quickly returned the dolly to the janitor. They both wanted to get an early spot in the registration lines after lunch so, in the hour before the cafeteria opened, they finished unpacking, busily planning their classes for the new school year.




Blair breezed into the bullpen at 2:15, hung his backpack on the coat-rack, and settled into the chair next to Jim's. Once again he marveled at how natural this routine seemed, after just a few short months; sometimes it felt like he'd been waiting his whole life to work with this man. He felt... comfortable, just being with Jim, sharing his life and his work. Of course, he couldn't tell Jim, but Blair had begun to realize that finishing his dissertation would not be an unmixed blessing if it meant he and Jim went separate ways. That would be some time in the future, though -- a long time, if Blair had any say in the matter. For now, he'd just concentrate on being the kind of partner Jim needed.

"Hey, man, how's it going?"

"Frustrating," the detective growled as he tossed a file onto the desk with a grimace of disgust. "I can't find one point of valid commonality in these robberies. You, however, look positively smug; how many cute co-eds have you already lined up in your sights?"

"Not even, man!" Blair protested. "Students are strictly -- strictly! -- off-limits. But there is this one new TA..." He winked, and then grinned as Jim deliberately rolled his eyes with a long-suffering air. "So, what about this case? You haven't mentioned robberies before today." He reached out and snagged the file, though he waited for Jim's assenting nod before he opened it and started reading. "And how come you have it? What makes it something for Major Crimes?"

Jim reached for a small stack of other files, and spread them on the desk like a poker hand. "Politics, of course. All of the victims are particularly wealthy, and all of them think their incident should have been solved within thirty minutes. Since it's been three weeks and Burglary hasn't made any progress, it got booted up here. I'm the lucky stiff that was in rotation for the next case."

Blair had been skimming the reports in the various folders. "Wow, I see what you mean. These incident reports are full of a whole lot of nothing. No commonalities?"

"They don't use the same jewelers, alarm systems, dry cleaners, banks, stores, maid service, delivery systems -- you name it, there's at least three different sources. And nothing's shown up at any of the pawn shops, and we've shaken down every fence in the city without results. And there's no pattern to the stolen items, either -- two were jewelry, which we'd expect, but there was also a coin collection, a set of jeweled knives, and some Fabergé pottery, for god's sake. Absolutely the only point in common is that they all have a kid or two going to Rainier."

"Yeah, but Rainier's a class-A university," Blair pointed out. "If you've got kids who're college-age, it'd be stupid to send them anywhere else."

"Exactly," Jim agreed. "It's like saying they all wear clothes when they go out in public; it's too ordinary to have any bearing on the case."

"Didn't you once tell me that even the ordinary has to be closely examined when you're trying to make a case?" Jim merely glared, jaw muscles clenching. "Yeah, yeah, you're right," Blair responded hurriedly. "A difference that is no difference makes no difference; got'cha." He was going through the files more slowly, reading names and details. "But I can see why the higher-ups are squawking; there are some big names here." He opened the next folder, and his eyes widened. "Hey, I know this guy!"

Jim was instantly on alert. "What? How?" He snatched the folder out of Blair's hands to take another look. "Where did you rub shoulders with a business-shark like Jonah Petersen?"

"Seemed kind of nice when I met him," Blair protested. "He's got a big estate on the east side of town. His doctor told him he needed some vigorous, non-weight-bearing exercise, so he's planning to put in a good-sized pool. But when the workers started digging, they found some pottery shards. Anyway, this guy seems real big on supporting the university -- said with four kids and two grandkids already, he better be. So he's offered to let the anthropology and archaeology students do a real archaeologic excavation on the site. Said he'd give us three months, and by the time we're done the ground would be so dug up that it'd make putting in the pool a lot easier. I'm going to announce it as soon as I know the class roster is finalized."

Jim leaned back in his chair and sighed. "That's great for you, Chief, but I doubt it has any bearing on the case. Unless you find a --" he glanced at the incident report to refresh his memory, "-- coin collection valued at sixty-five thousand dollars hidden under the bushes, I don't think your 'knowing him' will make much difference."

"Well, duh! How stupid would you have to be to hide something, and then invite a bunch of nosy kids to dig in the same spot? I was just surprised at the coincidence, is all. So, how do you want to get started? You think if you go over the scenes again, your senses will pick up something that forensics missed?"

"Not likely. People live at those scenes; any trace evidence is long gone, or would be worthless because it could have been dropped after the robberies. I think we'll have to wait for another robbery, and get there while it's still fresh."

"Oh, the brass will be thrilled about that," Blair remarked.

"Got it in one, Chief. But there's no help for it. In the meantime, we gotta go through the motions -- and sandwich the investigation in between our other cases. Maybe interviewing the victims again will turn up something that Burglary missed." Jim switched off his computer and stood. "Grab your gear, Chief; we're going fishing. We should be able to hit one or two before quitting time."






Thursday, 9/12/96

Blair was updating his notes for next week's class. There'd been some interesting developments in the field in the past couple of years, and his lecture needed to cover that information. He paused in his writing and frowned. Damn; he was having a brain-fart. There was something else he wanted to include, and it hovered just out of reach of his conscious mind. He stared around his small office. Okay. I'm pretty sure I saw it in the latest Anthro Quarterly, or maybe the one before that. And those would be... He closed his eyes, trying to visualize, then snapped them open. ...in that pile, right there!

He crouched in front of the precarious stack of books and magazines propped against the end of the sofa and judiciously removed a hand's-thickness of assorted publications. Setting them to the side of the main stack, Blair began to work his way down the pile, and hit paydirt on the fourth one. Score one for the creative mind! he thought triumphantly, but not even sentinel senses would be able to 'read' his satisfaction, no matter how hard he tried to beam his thoughts toward Ellison.

"Professor Sandburg? Are you here?"

Abruptly, Blair realized that his desk and the sofa hid him from casual view of anyone in the doorway. "Right here," he announced, standing and tossing the journal on the desk. "Miss Kawasani, come in, come in!" He hurried around to move one of the visitors' chairs out of the way, so that she could use the space. "And when we're out of class, I don't need a title. Just call me Blair." He smiled charmingly at his student as he sat and faced her across the desk.

"Thank you, Blair. And I'm Dessie. 'Miss Kawasani' is my older sister -- she just passed the bar exam and is working for a big law firm." Her brown eyes twinkled merrily. "Better her than me, but it takes all kinds."

"That it does," Blair agreed. "So, what can I do for you Dessie?" Truthfully, he was surprised to see her; Desirée Kawasani was one of his better students. Even if she hadn't been, the day after the second class session was a bit soon to be seeking extra help.

"I came to ask if I could join the team working the Petersen dig," Desirée told him. Seeing the doubt begin to creep into his eyes, she added hurriedly, "I'll make a formal request in writing, if you need it, and also sign a waiver of liability. But I'd really, really like to be a part of it, if you'll allow it."

She certainly seemed sincere, but the logistics could be difficult. "It's really not necessary, you know," Blair said gently. "With a major in sociology, you can get an anthropology minor without going on any field trips."

"I know," Desirée agreed. "And if it was something out of the country, I wouldn't even ask -- between flying with my chair, and trying to deal with it in primitive conditions, it wouldn't be worth the effort. But something that's been dumped in our laps, that's close enough that I can drive my own van to the site -- it's too good an opportunity to pass up."

"'Close' doesn't mean 'easy'. Once you get out of your van, the ground is rough, with lots of tangled underbrush scattered around. And -- forgive me -- but can you get out of that chair to do any digging?"

"Professor -- Blair -- I've been chair-bound for over ten years; I know my capabilities, and they outweigh my limitations. I have a special 'roughneck' chair -- kind of stripped down, lighter and lower, with fatter tires for better off-road traveling. And yes, with someone to stabilize the chair for me, I can get out and down, and then back up again. And once I'm down, I won't be any different from anyone else -- we'll all be sitting on our butts, scratching in the dirt."

Desirée was accustomed to judging people's character, and their reactions; it was a necessary skill she'd developed to smooth out her interactions with the able-bodied. She recognized that Blair wasn't deliberately trying to prevent her participation; he was sincerely concerned about her safety. She pressed her attack.

"Besides, I figure I'd be a natural for the less active aspects -- like keeping the records. I could sort and catalogue and write the descriptions, give everyone else more time for digging."

"You could do that on campus," Blair pointed out, wondering, at the same time, why he was arguing with her. He had so many students who just went through the motions of learning, doing the bare minimum until they could get their degree. Enthusiasm like this should be encouraged, not squashed. Still, how dangerous might even a 'tame' dig-site be for a girl in a wheelchair? "We'll have to bring anything we find back here, anyway, and you could do the cataloguing and describing in air-conditioned comfort."

"But this might be -- probably will be -- my one chance to participate in an honest-to-god dig; it's too good an opportunity to miss." On the theory that 'all's fair', Desirée cast him a deliberately pleading glance and then pulled out the big guns. "Would it make a difference if I brought someone along who knows how to help me? I have a real good friend -- Summer van Eisen -- and she knows what to do if anything goes wrong, and she's strong enough to get it done."

"I don't recognize the name," Blair admitted. "Is she new?"

"Well, she's not actually taking the class. But I'm sure I can talk her in to it, and she's only missed two lectures; I can help her catch up."

"I don't give out easy A's," Blair warned. "If she wants to keep up her grade-point average she'll have to do the work, even if she's just along to help you out."

Desirée nodded decisively. "I'll make sure she knows, before she signs up. But if she agrees, will you allow both of us to join the dig?"

With a mental sigh, Blair capitulated. Desirée might be wrong about being able to work the dig site but, at the very least, she deserved an opportunity to try. Hopefully, if it became too difficult for her, she'd admit it and let him make other -- easier -- arrangements. "You've got a deal," he said, smiling warmly and finally relaxing. "Welcome to our dig team, Miss -- sorry -- Dessie. I think you'll find it rather more arduous than you expect, but you're right -- it'll be a helluva lotta fun. Just remember -- sunscreen and wide-brimmed hats are your friend."

Blair winked at her wide, bright smile and escorted her out of the office. He watched thoughtfully as she wheeled briskly down the hallway. She was so eager; he truly hoped she'd be able to participate as she wanted, and not be disappointed in the experience.

He glanced at the clock on the wall. Okay, office hours were officially over; time to go meet Jim. They'd questioned two of the robbery victims last week -- Andrews and Cardenelli -- and learned nothing new. But Blair was beginning to understand that some policework -- especially for a detective -- was a lot like archaeology; you kept sifting through the layers until you found the one fact that became the key to putting all the puzzle pieces together.

Then they'd had to deal with the Angie Ferris case, and put the robbery investigation on hold. But now Weston was dead and Ferris was safe; it was puzzle-piecing time again. Today Jim was planning to descend on some of the other victims, and Blair would be with him to ensure that he didn't zone while listening to their heartbeats or other subtle signals.

As he locked his office door behind him, he just hoped that there'd be time for lunch somewhere in that schedule.




Desirée had to express her excitement somehow. As soon as she was outside the building and had room to maneuver, she popped a wheelie and spun in a circle, her delight bubbling out in a gleeful laugh. Yes! She was in, she was in, she was in!

After a moment, she grabbed control of her emotions and released the chair to settle back to ground level before she became dizzy and lost control. Falling backwards would be a pain in the butt -- literally -- not to mention how foolish she'd feel if someone came by before she could pick herself up and manage to get back in her chair. She drew a deep breath, instead, and started considering the practical aspects. Joining the dig wasn't a hundred percent certainty, of course; it wasn't very likely, but Summer might say 'no'.

Desirée twisted to reach into the backpack hanging from the chair's handles, pulled out her copy of Summer's schedule and considered it thoughtfully. Summer was majoring in Theatre and Drama; she really couldn't ask her to give up Acting 201, nor her costuming or set design classes. PE was also off-limits; fencing wasn't offered every semester, and Summer was so excited about actually learning to handle a blade. "If I ever get a part as a pirate queen, I'll be able to make the swordplay look real," she'd said, even though her smile had been self-deprecating. Desirée approved; being able to shine at something like that would help boost her friend's self-esteem. But... Music 201 or Woodshop could be taken at any time; maybe Summer would be willing to drop one of those.

Desirée glanced at her watch; ten forty-five. Summer's music class was at eleven; maybe she could persuade her to cut class and they'd go for an early lunch, and Desirée could explain her plan. It would work; it just had to. Desirée stuffed the schedule into her backpack, wheeled her chair in a tight circle, and headed toward the music building. She was pretty sure Summer used the south entrance...




Desirée was still some distance away when she saw her friend walking with another theatre student just as they reached the main doors. "SUMMER!" she shouted, with a volume that she had several times proven could be heard a block away.

Summer whirled instantly, her gaze quickly locating her friend. Of course, with sunlight flashing off the spokes of her wheels, Desirée could hardly blend into the background. Summer said a quick word to her companion, and then she was hurrying toward her friend.

"Dessie! Is something wrong?" she called anxiously, as soon as she was within range.

Desirée waited calmly till her friend was within easy talking distance. "Not wrong," she said, "right. But I need your help with it. I thought you could cut class and we could work it out over an early lunch."

Summer hesitated. Unlike Desirée, she never looked for minimal excuses to avoid class, claiming that making up the work was more hassle than the time was worth. "Lunch is only an hour away," she pointed out, "and we were going to meet then, anyway."

"I'm too excited to wait, and I want someplace more private than the cafeteria. We can go to the Grill-Tastic; it's on me," Desirée coaxed.

Summer regarded her friend thoughtfully. "When you resort to bribes, I know you're up to something."

Desirée grinned cheerfully, undaunted. "Of course I am. But I promise it won't hurt, and I think you'll even like it. And even if you don't like the idea, at least you'll get a free lunch out of it; what d'ya say?"

Summer surrendered. "I say life would be a lot duller if I'd never met you. But you are going to pay -- I'm ordering an appetizer and lunch and dessert. And probably an extra-thick chocolate shake. The condemned man eats a hearty last meal and all that."

Desirée laughed happily, allowing Summer to have the last word as they headed toward the lot where she'd parked her van.




Another round of questioning was proving no more productive than the first. As expected, going over the same ground that Burglary had already covered had gotten them nowhere; there wasn't a single clue to be discovered. But they needed to rule out the possibility that one or all of the victims were trying to instigate an insurance fraud. So far, no one had hidden their own items with a view to collecting the insurance and then selling said items on a collector's black market; Jim's analysis of heartbeats and voice stress as he questioned each member of the various households had assured him of that. And, contrary to popular 'whodunnits', the butler in each case was also innocent -- as were the housekeepers, maids, gardeners, chauffeurs, and various other hangers-on.

Of course they are, Jim thought, sourly. It would be too easy for someone to break into a sweat and start babbling a confession. But his face gave no hint of his irritation as he faced the tall, thin man in front of him, who looked far too bland to be the business-shark that Jim had heard he was. "I appreciate your willingness to answer these questions again, Mr. Petersen," he said smoothly. "Sometimes describing incidents again can shake loose a forgotten nugget of information." He waited, but the man in front of him merely shrugged and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, detective; there's nothing I can add. Brad forgot to turn on the alarm system when he took his little sister to her swim class. When they returned a couple of hours later, the front door was ajar, but nothing was visibly disturbed. It wasn't until I got home and checked the most likely targets that I discovered my coin collection was missing."

"And none of your household staff noticed a burglar traipsing through the house because...?"

"As I told the other policemen, Thursday and Sunday afternoons are the staff's days off. It was a nice day, and everyone was out; I don't pry into my staff's concerns."

No matter; Jim had already assured himself that the staff was 'clean'. "Then, sir, may we talk to Brad? Since he was the last one out of the house, and the first to return, perhaps he saw or heard something that might be helpful."

"I have no objection, Detective, but he isn't here. During the college semester, he prefers to share a house on 'Frat Row' with several of his friends. It gives him a little extra independence, and relieves his mother and me of the noise and rowdiness when he wants to entertain his friends. I'm sure you can find him there -- two thirty-four Appleton Way."

It had been the same with everyone he questioned; the college-age son or daughter preferred to room near campus rather than with 'mommy' and 'daddy', regardless of how accommodating the parents tried to be.

"I know it, Jim." Sandburg spoke quietly, but with assurance. "It's right across from the campus theatre."

There was no sense in continuing the questioning; the answers wouldn't suddenly change to something more useful. Jim stood, drawing the interview to a close. "Thank you, Mr. Petersen," he said, shaking hands as the other man also stood. "Again, I appreciate you giving us the time to confirm our information."

"Not a problem, Detective," Mr. Petersen said as he escorted them to the door. "If there's any chance it'll help lead you to the thief, and recover my coin collection, I'm glad to help."

Blair heaved a sigh as he settled himself beside Jim in the Ford-150. "I don't know how you do it, man," he complained. "They all remind me of Sergeant Schultz; 'I see nothing, I know nothing!'" His mimicry was a far cry from the original. "How do you keep doing it?"

Jim chuckled. "Keep your day-job, Chief; Rich Little you ain't. As for my job, even negative information is valuable. It lets us avoid wasting our time on a dead-end road. And it is very much like fishing, or hunting; you have to have patience -- which you, my friend, seem to lack. You should develop that," he advised, with mock-seriousness. "It could come in handy for a teacher or for an anthropologist. I'll be happy to teach you. Till then, are you ready to tackle Taylor and Colberg?"

"Y'know, those lessons would go down a lot easier on a full stomach," Blair suggested. "I know this place close to the campus -- The Grill-Tastic -- plenty of meat for you and veggies for me, and the atmosphere's pretty relaxed without being rowdy."

Jim chuckled again as he put the Ford in gear and headed toward Rainier. "You got it, Chief. Lunch first, then more hunting."




Over a hearty lunch, which both agreed beat the cafeteria food six ways from Sunday, Desirée explained her unexpected opportunity. Summer, although supportive, was puzzled.

"But why do you want to?" she asked. "It's not like working on a dig will help you counsel some kid who's in trouble."

Desirée chuckled. "Who knows? Maybe it'll impress some kid who's trying to be all macho-tough. But that's not the point, and you know it. After all -- who's saving up money to take hang-gliding lessons next summer? It's not like that'll help improve your acting skills."

"Guilty," Summer said, chuckling in her turn. "Okay, we have different ideas of fun, so I'll be a good friend and say, 'go for it'. But why should I rearrange my schedule to take a different class? You're quite capable of managing on your own -- and you'll have some of your classmates around if you need help."

"I know that, and you know that, but Mr. Sandburg doesn't know that. I had him last year, and he really cares for his students. Add in me being in a wheelchair, and... well, sometimes he could give a mother hen lessons in solicitous hovering; he's a sweetie, but a worrywart. He'll just be more comfortable if I have experienced backup, and I don't want to force the issue -- there's no quicker way to get on a teacher's bad side." Desirée winked conspiratorially and lowered her voice as she leaned toward her friend. "Besides, wait till you see him. He's probably only four or five years older than we are, and the best-looking teacher on campus, with the prettiest blue eyes you'll ever see. It's worth taking one of his classes just for the eye-candy."

Leaning back, Desirée looked around the room to signal the waitress for a refill of her tea. A hearty laugh caught her ear, and she glanced toward the source. Surprised, she reached out to clutch Summer's arm. "Look! There he is!" She spoke quietly but urgently. "Sitting at the table in the corner with the tall, buff guy."

Summer peeked circumspectly -- staring was rude -- then used the dessert menu to hide a longer examination. "You're right," she agreed. "He is cute. But not enough to make up being bored to tears in a class that doesn't interest me."

"I wouldn't do that to you!" Desirée feigned outrage, then grinned at her friend. "He really makes his lectures interesting, with all kinds of stories about different peoples and cultures. I bet it could give you insights into human reactions, that you could use when you're developing a character. And he's got a great sense of humor. Besides, haven't you been the one to tell me that knowledge is never wasted?" Desirée's eyes twinkled, laughing as Summer shrugged and gave in.

"Oh, all right!" Summer exclaimed, laughing with her friend. "It does sound like fun. But don't expect me to go all goo-goo eyes over him; I've got way more pride than that. And besides, it's likely that I couldn't get through the pack of other girls crowding around him, even if I wanted to."

"Likely not," Desirée agreed, "but it might be fun to try." At Summer's glare, she had the grace to back down. Her friend didn't play at flirtation as so many girls did, and it really wasn't nice to tease her about it -- at least, not too much. She became serious. "Okay, do you want to drop a class, or just add the extra three hours to your schedule?"

Summer pulled out her schedule and, together, they considered the possibilities. "Well, I'll have evening rehearsals for at least one play, and I'm making Mom a coffee table for Christmas, so I'll probably spend extra time in the woodshop. Three more hours wouldn't be a good idea. I think I'll just drop music; I can always take it later."

"Besides, you already have a good voice," Desirée assured her. "Okay, we'll stop at the registrar's office when we leave here. And -- thank you. You know I really appreciate you supporting me in this."

"Aww..." Summer shrugged uncomfortably. "No big deal. You're right; I think it'll be fun. Besides, it's what friends do."

Desirée shook her head. "Not all friends; not even most," she murmured too quietly for Summer to hear. Raising her voice, she said, "Still, I'm grateful. And what do you say to dessert before we leave; you're making me pay for the favor, remember? And then you can tell me why you're tackling something as ambitious as a coffee table." She looked around to catch the waitress's eye. "Apple strudel or key lime pie?"

"How about both, and we'll split each? And a coffee table's not so ambitious; at least it's flat. Dad's making a pair of matching end-tables with drawers; now that's tricky."

"But you said you'd been watching him since you were little."

"Watching's not the same as doing," Summer pointed out. "Dad wasn't comfortable with his little girl using the big, dangerous power tools. I need a little more experience with them -- and with fitting things together -- before I tackle that."

The waitress brought their desserts. As planned, they cut each in half and shared with the other, then lingered, too busy talking to eat as they discussed classes, boys, future life plans, and the upcoming fraternity / sorority mixer the following weekend.




Jim was halfway through his double-meat cheeseburger with home-fries. Blair was right; the cooking was excellent. He swallowed just in time to avoid a spit-take as he laughed heartily at one of Blair's more outrageous stories, then cocked his head and snorted softly. "Your ears should be burning, Chief."

"Hunh? Why?" Blair's fried chicken strips weren't all that much healthier than Jim's lunch; he'd already decided on making a nice stir-fry for dinner.

"One of the young ladies over there," Jim nodded toward the other side of the room, "has declared that you're the best-looking teacher on campus, with -- and I quote -- 'the prettiest blue eyes you'll ever see'." He pronounced the last with a delicate, tremulous falsetto, batting his lashes invitingly.

To his friend's amusement, Blair actually looked embarrassed. "Jim, I'm a healthy young male, and I enjoy dating -- if the woman is eligible. I do not hit on students. Not only is it all kinds of wrong, it'd land me in hot water so fast I'd be parboiled. Please tell me you're talking about one of the other TAs."

"Well, I don't know, Sandburg; is one of your fellow teaching assistants in a wheelchair?"

"What?" Blair turned to look. Fortunately -- as far as he was concerned -- the young women had already turned their attention back to their conversation, and didn't notice him ogling them. With a sigh of relief, he turned back to Jim. "That's Desirée Kawasani. She's in my two-oh-one class, and actually pretty level-headed. Maybe she's just teasing her friend?" he suggested hopefully.

"Seems like it," Jim agreed. "And I think you're off the hook; the other girl just declared that she has too much pride to 'make goo-goo eyes' over you -- although she does agree you're..." he switched back to the teasing falsetto, "...'cute'."

"'Cute' is good, 'cute' I can live with; it helps me get dates. But I was speaking with Desirée just before I met you; what are the odds that we'd have lunch at the same place?"

Jim surveyed the room judiciously. "Popular spot for the campus crowd, right?" Blair nodded. "And they -- and you -- are part of the campus crowd, right?" Blair nodded again. "And this place was your suggestion." Jim shrugged. "I'd say the chances are pretty high; I'd buy a lottery ticket with such odds."

"Yeah, but still..." Blair snapped his fingers as an idea hit him. "Maybe that's the friend Desirée was talking about, the one she wants to help her with the Petersen dig."

"Wait! You're requiring a crippled girl to participate in an archaeologic dig?" Jim seemed shocked.

"Hey, she requested it!" Blair defended himself. "And it's her right -- the ADA says we have to make reasonable accommodations. Besides, who am I to tell someone they 'can't' do something? You're the best example I know for 'you don't know what you can do till you try'. What gets me is, Desirée seemed absolutely certain that her friend would change her whole schedule to join my class and help her with the dig. If she's right, that's awesome; you don't see that kind of friendship every day."

Jim became very interested in dunking a home-fry precisely into the ketchup. "Actually, I do see that kind of friendship, Sandburg, every damn day," he said softly, addressing his words toward the table.

"Huh?"

"You, Chief." Jim finally looked up, meeting Blair's eyes earnestly. "You've changed your whole schedule -- your whole life -- to be at my side as often as you can, making sure these senses don't knock me for a loop. You're right; it is awesome. And -- and -- I really do appreciate it," he finished awkwardly, dropping his gaze back toward the table. "I know you probably want to get back to your real life; I swear I'm trying to get a handle on these senses as fast as I can. But whenever you want to leave, just say the word; I'll manage with what you've already taught me."

Blair stared. Where was this coming from? True, he'd only known the man a few months but, for all his griping about his senses and the tests Blair subjected him to, Jim Ellison didn't strike him as a quitter. Hell, he sounded as if he expected to be kicked out in the gutter, when it was Blair who lived in his loft, and followed him around by his sufferance.

He'd have to examine this issue further but, for now, he had to snap the big man out of it; he couldn't stand to see Jim Ellison practically... groveling. "Man, you are such a doofus!" Blair announced, making sure to inject his voice with sufficient amusement.

"I know, Chief, and I --" Jim stopped, as the meaning of the words penetrated. He looked up, a frown creasing his brows. "What did you say?"

"You're a doofus," Blair repeated with relish. "Or would you prefer 'dunderhead', 'numbskull', or maybe 'chump'? What makes you think I'm itchin' to leave?"

"Well, it just makes sense that --"

"It makes no sense!" Blair cut in. "Not to be too sappy here, but this friendship thing works both ways; I get every bit as much from you as you get from me -- which doesn't matter anyway, because friendship isn't about making sure things are 'equal'. It's about being there for your friend, and Jim, you've got that in spades! Why would you think otherwise?"

"You've always been a free spirit, and I tie you down," Jim argued.

"I've always been a wanderer, and you've given me a home," Blair shot back.

"My work is dangerous."

"Your work is also interesting, and I learn new insights every day."

"I yell at you when you break my rules." Jim's eyes were beginning to twinkle.

"You pick me up when my car breaks down." Blair's earnest expression relaxed into a slight smile.

"I take a lot of your time."

"You give me so much of yours."

"I'm not going to win, am I?"

"We're friends, Jim," Blair insisted. "I know I use the word casually sometimes, but in this case I mean it all the way down to my toes. Friends... accept, and adjust, and it goes both ways. Believe me, I don't see any imbalance between us."

Jim glanced up as laughter drifted across the room. "Like them, huh, Chief?"

Blair followed Jim's gaze to see Desirée and her friend leaving the restaurant, still in animated conversation as they went. They should have made an odd couple -- one walking, one wheeling -- yet they matched each other as fluidly as a pair of ballroom dancers. Blair could practically see a psychic bond shimmering between them.

"Looks like it," he agreed. "Of course, I don't know Desirée well enough, or her friend at all, but if they have half the connection we do, they're incredibly lucky. Don't fight it, Jim. If a couple of young girls can manage it, surely we can do the same."

"You're right, Sandburg; you're getting sappy." Jim tossed a tip on the table and stood, picking up the check. "Let's go; we have more fishing to do."

A wise man knew when to let a discussion rest. Blair laid his own tip on the table and followed his friend toward the exit.






Saturday, 9/14/96

Desirée turned her van off the rough path pressed into the dirt by earlier machines and into a roped-off grassy area that already held an old Corvair, a battered white pickup truck, and an aged blue van with surfing decals on the side. She parked to the left of the blue van, carefully judging the distance so that the space would be too small for another vehicle to park, while leaving ample room for her lift.

The four classmates who had ridden with them hopped out, chatting happily together, and began the process of unloading and carrying their gear and supplies to the work area; someone -- Professor Sandburg? -- had set up a long folding table, which was half-covered in boxes and various implements. A short distance away, a four-foot stake topped by pink surveyor's tape stood in the middle of an area of raw dirt, the marks of the backhoe clearly evident. While Desirée made her way to the lift, Summer opened the rear doors and pulled out the 'roughneck' chair. When Desirée reached ground-level, she quickly made the transfer to the other chair. Then Summer plunked Desirée's bag of tools into her lap, shouldered her own bag, grabbed the small cooler that held their lunch and drinks, and they headed toward the knot of people clustered around the table.

As she traveled the path of crushed vegetation left by the backhoe -- and how had anyone found a pottery shard in a pile of backhoe dumpings, she wondered -- Desirée evaluated the area she'd be working in. The grass was about eight inches high -- this part of the estate must not get mowed very often -- and the ground was somewhat rocky, and littered with broken sticks of various sizes, the visible detritus of past storms. Rough, yes, but she wouldn't have nearly the trouble traveling over it that Mr. Sandburg expected.

As they reached the group, Mr. Sandburg acknowledged them with a glance, and made a couple of checkmarks on a pad held by his clipboard. "Okay, that's everybody," he announced. "And I really appreciate you all coming out on a Saturday. After we get the site measured and roped off and everybody's on the same page, you won't need to wait for the whole group; you can come out whenever you have free time, as long as you're working with a buddy. But that's for later; now is when we get this plan off the ground." He grinned widely, his eyes sparkling with excitement, and was answered by matching grins from the assembled students.

Privately, Desirée admired the view. Blair had his hair tied back out of the way, which was a shame, especially with that funky-looking hat on top, but he was wearing shorts and a T-shirt against the expected heat of the day, which showed off his body quite nicely. Desirée glanced at her friend to see if she was also enjoying the sight, but it was obvious that she was all business. After Summer had set their lunch cooler in the shade under the table with several others, she was clearly paying attention to what the man was saying, rather than the man himself. Ah, well, she should have known. With a mental shrug, Desirée also turned her attention to her teacher's instructions.

"Now, the pottery shard is estimated to be around three to four hundred years old, probably from the Tulalip tribe. At that time, villages were rarely more than two hundred yards across -- but we have no idea where in the village this pot might have been. If it was on the east edge, for example, and we dig eastward, we won't find a thing. What that means is, we consider this point the center, and the outer edge is two hundred yards in every direction -- and that's a little over a hundred and twenty-five thousand square yards that we might have to examine."

Heartfelt groans rose around him, and he chuckled. "I thought you all wanted to be archaeologists or anthropologists? This is part of the gig, people; you'll be doing more before you graduate. The archaeology students need the experience more than the anthropologists -- at least we can talk to our subjects. Personally, that's why I chose this branch of the science..." he paused to let a titter of laughter pass around the group, "...but you will all need some hands-on experience with a dig. Consider yourselves lucky that your first dig is situated so that you can go home each day, to a hot shower and a soft bed."

"And pizza for supper instead of grasshopper stew!" an unidentified voice -- at least to Desirée -- called out. But Mr. Sandburg wasn't stumped.

"Tony, you only think you're joking," he said. "Grasshopper stew can be quite tasty, and filling. But more than that, it represents hours of work from the women of the household or village, to catch enough grasshoppers and prepare them properly. And if you turn your nose up at what they offer, you risk offending the whole tribe."

Mr. Sandburg's gaze swept over the whole group. "I usually cover this a little later in the year, but since it's come up -- when you're in the field, working with the local people, it can be damned hard to be accepted; you are an outsider, and they have no reason to trust in your honor or good nature. If you are fortunate enough to be accepted into their community, you will eat what they eat without hesitation and with a smile on your face, and you will compliment the cook if it's appropriate in that culture. Take comfort from the fact that, if they eat it, it's unlikely to actually poison you." The titter of laughter seemed distinctly nervous, this time, and Blair winked at the group. "If you need something else to boost your courage, remember that sharing a meal is the easiest and fastest way to be accepted into a community, and you will gain an insight into gender relationships and community / familial status around their equivalent of the dinner table that will enhance everything else you learn."

Most of the students were nodding thoughtfully, and Tony Caletti -- Desirée recognized him now, a good-looking boy who usually hid his intelligence behind a brash, joking manner -- looked slightly abashed.

"But enough of that," Mr. Sandburg declared. "First order of business is the walkover. How about..." he looked at eager hands raised, "Amanda and Nathan." He reached into the cardboard box at his feet and pulled out two coils of bright yellow rope, two wooden stakes, and two medium-sized mallets. He handed one set to each student.

"Each rope is six hundred and three feet long -- just over two hundred yards. You will tie one end of the rope around the base of our center stake." He nodded toward the nearby stake, and waited while they did so and returned to the group. "Now, you will walk forward until you reach the end of the rope. Then you will turn to face each other, and maneuver sideways until you have a straight line between you, with no obvious bend at the center stake. Step toward the center stake one pace, drive your stake in the ground, and tie your rope to the stake. That line will be the main point of reference for our trenches. Nathan, you head that way, and Amanda, you head the other."

Nathan looked at the trees Mr. Sandburg had pointed him toward -- the edge of a small forested area, then at the rope coiled beside the stake. "Uh... Professor? I think those trees are closer than two hundred yards."

"Excellent observation!" their teacher proclaimed. "Ladies and gentlemen, take a look, and tell me how old you think this bit of forest is." He waited expectantly.

"Not very old," Summer whispered to Desirée. "Maybe forty years; fifty, tops."

"Don't tell me, tell him!" Desirée whispered back, fiercely. When her friend didn't speak up, Desirée did. "Summer thinks the trees are only forty or fifty years old."

Mr. Sandburg's smile was encouraging. "And how did you arrive at that conclusion?" he asked gently; his newest student looked like she wanted to melt into the ground.

Placed on the spot, Summer took a deep breath and answered strongly, "Their size. For this part of the country, their general diameter and height correlates to about forty or fifty years' growth. And also, I think this stand was planted, instead of occurring naturally."

"And your reasoning is...?" Their teacher's smile widened.

"Well... they aren't in rows, but the spacing is too uniform; there are no trees crowding each other, and as far as I can see, no gaps. Also, the trees themselves are too uniform; there's no size differential. There should be everything from seedlings just getting started to hoary old 'grandfather' trees, and there aren't." Summer shrugged. "Natural growth just isn't so... neat."

"Give the lady a gold star!" Mr. Sandburg announced. "It seems that the current owner's mother wanted to set up a nature preserve, so her husband decided to let her have her own bit of forest to play in.

"Which goes back to Nathan's question. If the trees weren't here fifty years ago, that means...?" He threw the question to the entire group.

"It would have been open ground three hundred years ago, and the Tulalip village could have included that area!"

"And a gold star for David, as well. Now, it isn't likely that we'll find artifacts there; otherwise, something would have turned up when they were planting the trees. Which means we'll be concentrating in the other parts of our search area, first," he assured them. "But if we don't find anything, we will move our search area into the trees; a good scientist doesn't let 'not likely' get in the way of doing a thorough job. So, Nathan and Amanda, do your thing." Mr. Sandburg waved the students onward, and the group watched as they carefully followed his instructions.

"Good!" their teacher said, when the ropes were in place. "Now, divide into four groups; each group needs a tape measure, thirty stakes, and a mallet." He waited while they organized themselves and collected the equipment. "Now, we need guidelines parallel to the center rope. You'll start from the end stake and move sideways, placing another stake every ten feet. Have at it."




Blair watched with carefully-hidden amusement and an analytical eye as his students sorted themselves out and decided how to proceed. He could have given more specific instructions, and even chosen four group 'leaders', but he felt it was more beneficial for the students to work through the logistics themselves. At this stage, there wasn't anything they could do that couldn't be easily corrected, if necessary, and they could start to develop a 'group dynamic' -- learning and adjusting to each others' strengths and weaknesses, recognizing those who seemed to be natural leaders, and those who were content to play supporting roles.

He kept an eye on Desirée in her wheelchair, but she seemed to have no difficulty with the terrain and, in fact, appeared to be the nucleus of her group. She carried the stakes on her lap, kept an eagle-eye on the measurements, and made sure the stakes were in a straight line, as well as being the requisite ten feet apart. Blair made a mental note; Desirée was certainly an effective leader, but he might have to suggest that she'd need to step back occasionally and give other people a chance to try the leadership role.

Stakes in place, the students straggled back toward him, and Blair smiled encouragingly. "Good work, folks! Now, some of you grab a ball of string," he pointed to another box, which held over a dozen large rolls of heavy sisal twine, "tie it to one stake, run it down to its opposite on the other end, and tie it off there, about six inches above ground level. You should be able to do about three lines before you run out." Again the students spread over the area, following directions without observable mishaps.

"Excellent, excellent!" Blair proclaimed when the guidelines were in place and the students back near him. "Now we can actually start looking. We'll each take a lane -- well, three lanes, but only one at a time -- and do a close ground-scan. We'll start at the open end of the row and walk slowly -- slowly, people! -- down the row, looking for anything that might have been manmade. Be sure you weave back and forth -- you need to cover the entire width of your lane -- and kick through the grass; you need to have seen the actual ground before you move forward. Let's start with the middle rows, and work outward from there." Blair waved them onward, waiting -- again -- while they sorted themselves out; he intended to watch everyone's technique while they did their first lane, rather than walking a row himself.

But Desirée -- and Summer beside her -- didn't immediately join the group. Blair watched discreetly as Desirée chewed her lower lip while she glanced between her feet, resting on the footrests of her wheelchair, and the ground in front of her. Her gaze moved over the equipment on and around the table, then she smiled. After a whispered request, Summer hurried to grab one of the unused stakes and, together, they hurried to catch up to the group. Choosing an empty lane, Desirée accepted the stake from her friend, and used it to start poking through the grass, while Summer started kicking through the grass of the next row. Satisfied that Desirée had solved her little problem, Blair turned his attention to evaluate the other students.




Two hours later, the last lane had been walked, and students straightened kinked backs with soft groans. Blair added a groan to theirs, then announced ruefully, "Well, nobody ever claimed it was a cushy profession, folks! But now let's take your exciting discoveries to the table and analyze them."

The variety of man-made objects found in a four-hundred-yard circle of supposedly 'untouched' terrain was amazing. They had a dirt-encrusted 1967 quarter, six links of a gold chain, a flattened and faded beer can, a cheap cigarette lighter, a bent and twisted glasses frame with no lenses, a short length of narrow-gauge plastic pipe, and something that was probably a camera's lens-cap. Other items, picked up just to demonstrate that a student had found something, included a broken mussel-shell, six feathers of various kinds, and a weather-beaten small animal skull -- possibly a skunk or 'possum. The students eyed the pathetic-looking little collection unenthusiastically, but Blair had a completely different view.

"Hey, this is great, just great! In the first place, it proves to me that you have eyes, and were actually paying attention. And in the second place, it demonstrates... what do you think, Edgar?"

Placed on the spot, the young man groped frantically for an answer. "Well, it demonstrates... a lot of people can't hold on to their stuff." Muted laughter swept through the group, though Blair smiled encouragingly.

"Well, that's certainly true... but doesn't have the archaeologic significance we're looking for. Anyone else? Yasmina?"

"Um... it proves that even very small objects can be found if you look hard enough?"

"That, too," Blair agreed. "Anyone else?" He was met by silence, which he broke with a chuckle. "It means that none of us are Indiana Jones, and we won't be discovering the lost Ark of the Covenant. But, it's also a kind of carrot to work toward; if you can find all this right on top, just imagine what might be hiding a few inches down. Even if it's quieter than the good Professor Jones's, it's an adventure, people!" He rubbed his hands together theatrically, while the young men and women around him regarded their 'finds' more favorably.

"And now, it's lunchtime. If you head into the trees, you'll find that Mr. Petersen has been kind enough to have a Porta-Potty installed back there, where it can't be seen. Handi-wipes all around," he nodded at a large container on the end of the table, "then pick a shady spot to sit and chow down. After lunch, we'll start digging our first trenches."






Monday, 9/23/96

"So, any more questions?" Blair asked. The discussion had been lively, but the class period had just two minutes left to run, and the students knew it; no one raised a hand. "Okay, read chapter five by Wednesday, and do a little research -- I want a list of ten items that the tribes-people of the region might add to their diet." He chuckled at the soft groans that met his assignment. "If you react like this at a ten-item list, you'll have to collapse on the floor to express your opinion when I require a five-page comparative analysis. Proportion, people, proportion!"

As the students moved toward the classroom door, it opened. Jim stepped inside, glanced around the room, and strode to the podium. "Proportion, Chief? Sounds too much like 'cheer up'."

Blair was startled. "Jim! What are you doing here? And how do you connect 'proportion' and 'cheer up'?"

"You never heard about the guy who was down on his luck?"

Blair shook his head, meanwhile gathering his lecture materials.

"Well, he was. He'd totaled his car the day before, his wife left him, his dog died, and then he got fired. He was grousing about it to a bartender, and the guy told him, 'Cheer up; things could be worse!' The unlucky guy thought about it and realized the bartender was right, so he cheered up. And sure enough, things got worse."

Blair snorted. "Oh, man, that's got to be older than I am! Let's go back to my first question -- why are you here?" He glanced around the now-empty classroom, but lowered his voice anyway. "Are you having problems with your senses?"

"No, but I'm hoping to prevent one; there's been another robbery, and I'd like you with me when I go over the scene. Can you get away?"

"Yeah, this was my last class for the day," Blair said, leading the way toward his office. "Let me just put a note on the door to cancel office hours and I'll be right with you." Reaching his cluttered little cubbyhole, Blair shoved a couple of textbooks and notepads into his backpack, scribbled a note and tacked it on the outside of the door, then slung the backpack over his shoulder. "Ready!" he announced, and followed his partner's long strides out toward Jim's truck.

"So what's the scoop?" Blair asked as Jim pulled out of the parking lot.

"A Mr. Charles Agonestes was in his safe earlier today, and noticed that some items had been disturbed. When he checked, he found that several rare stamps were missing from his collection. Just like all the others, there are no obvious clues; I'm hoping my senses will let me pick up some un-obvious ones, and I need you there so I don't zone."

"No problemo, big guy," Blair assured him. "I'll have your back." He settled against the seat-back with a thrill of pride. His sentinel was admitting that he benefited from Blair's help; that was so cool!




Mr. Agonestes himself, a short, rotund man with thinning hair and shrewd eyes, met them at the door and led them toward his study. "Thank you for coming, gentlemen. I haven't disturbed anything since I discovered the loss," he continued, waving toward a wall-safe, "but I don't think that will be much help. Except for the ledgers being shifted, I haven't noticed any signs that anyone but me has been in here."

"You can be sure we'll evaluate the scene very carefully," Jim said, "and our technicians are trained to find the tiniest pieces of evidence. But I need to ask some questions first; establishing a background can help us determine what does and doesn't belong at the scene."

"Certainly; have a seat," Mr. Agonestes said, waving them toward a pair of leather chairs and sitting behind his desk. "Anything I can do to help."

Jim nodded. "First, how many people know of your stamp collection?"

Mr. Agonestes sighed. "I'm quite proud of the collection, and I've shown it to all my friends -- several times over. And my family and household staff."

"And those would be...?"

"I have a wife, Mary, a son in college -- Kevin -- and two daughters; Candace in high school and Rebecca in junior high. Household staff includes a maid, a housekeeper/cook, and a gardener -- although the gardener rarely comes in the house, and never past the kitchen."

"How long has it been since you last confirmed that your stamp collection was intact?"

"Labor Day weekend; I'd just bought a couple of new stamps, and had the album open to mount them."

"But you didn't notice anything disturbed until today?"

"No, detective. I locked everything up on Friday, and didn't even come into this room all weekend; we had a big party -- one of your typical, keep-the-wheels-greased corporate shindigs -- and things were a bit hectic." His expression turned grim. "I don't want to think that one of my friends might have stolen from me, but it seems the most logical conclusion. On the other hand, I'm not a fool; I locked the door when I left the room on Friday, and it was still locked this morning."

"We'll check the lock for signs of tampering," Jim promised. "But before that, may we talk to your family and staff?"

"Certainly." Mr. Agonestes glanced at his watch. "The girls won't be home from school for about half an hour, but I suppose by the time you finish with everyone else, they'll be here."

"And Kevin?"

"He's gone back to college already; prefers to live in a Frat house on campus -- two-three-four Appleton Way. You can talk to him there, but he won't be able to tell you anything."

"Was he here this weekend?"

"Oh, yes, along with several of his friends. After all, the young people have to learn the social ins and outs of the corporate world if they expect to join us in business." Agonestes' smile was filled with pride. "Kevin's a good boy; I look forward to the day I can add a second 'Agonestes' to my logo."

Jim kept his shudder internal. His own father had had similar plans for him, which had helped form his decision to join the Military; in his opinion, being a businessman was a fate to be avoided at all costs. He wondered if Kevin actually wanted to join his father in business, or if he also was just paying lip-service until he could escape.

"If he was here, he could have seen something that didn't mean anything at the time, but might be a point of interest in retrospect. We'll try to talk to him tomorrow. In the meantime, I'd like to start with your staff."

"Of course, Detective. Shall I have them report here one at a time?"

Blair jumped in before Jim could speak. "Maybe someplace more neutral, like the kitchen, so they won't feel so much like they're being called on the carpet," he suggested.

Jim raised an eyebrow, but nodded his agreement. Mr. Agonestes shrugged and led them down a long hallway.

"What was that for, Chief?" Jim murmured as they followed their host. "Someone might have shown nerves being at the scene of their crime."

"Scent traces, man!" Blair whispered forcefully. "Once you know their scents, you can tell who's been in the room recently. But if they walk in now, it'll contaminate the scene; you won't know if the scent is old or new."

Jim frowned, but the kid had a point. Seemed like he was always thinking of ways that the senses could help Jim in his work. It was useful but... a little unnerving, he admitted privately. They were his senses, dammit; why couldn't he think of these things himself? It was kind of -- annoying -- that Blair's intuitive grasp of handling the senses seemed better than his own. He couldn't afford to depend on another person to help him control the senses; what would happen if they went haywire and Blair wasn't around? Somehow, he had to find his own control -- and soon, before Sandburg finished his dissertation and left.




The kitchen was a cheerful room in russet and gold. Everyone he questioned, from the daughters to the gardener, was cooperative. Jim detected no signs of nervousness; no one exhibited an increased heartbeat or sudden surreptitious sweating or pupil dilation. And, as expected, no one had the slightest sliver of useful information.

He wrote a final line in his notebook, then stood. "Thank you, Mr. Agonestes; now we'll do a thorough examination of the study... after we've taken a look at Kevin's room," he added smoothly, acquiescing to another of Sandburg's whispered suggestions.

Mr. Agonestes shook his head as he led the way up a staircase. "I'm impressed by your thoroughness, Detective, but you won't find anything useful, I assure you."

"Probably not," Jim agreed, "but no stone unturned." He leaned closer to Blair to whisper, "And we're turning over these stones because...?"

"You can't ask to sniff a piece of his clothing before you go back to the study," Blair pointed out, keeping his voice at sentinel levels. "This way, you'll recognize his scent trace, too."

Jim mentally chalked up another one for his some-time partner as he followed Mr. Agonestes into Kevin's room. It was surprisingly bland. Other than a number of sports trophies in a display case, there were no personal touches in view. A few questions elicited the information that Kevin had moved away from his 'teenage phase' a few years previously, taking down all his sports and movie posters, and putting away his video games and sports gear -- except that which he took to college, of course.

"Man, that's unusual," Blair said, shaking his head slowly. "Every teen I know makes it a point to display their interests; it's a way to signal their inclusion in the group, and to demonstrate their level of status quo. Do you know what caused the change?"

Mr. Agonestes' smile indicated nothing but pride in his son. "Young people do eventually grow up; some manage it sooner than others. Kevin is a good boy, never been in any trouble."

Or at least, nothing he's told his parents about, was Jim's cynical, though private, observation. Sandburg was right; there was something unnatural about this room -- overly controlled, calculating. But, other than making note of the boy's scent, there was nothing useful here, and he followed Mr. Agonestes back to the study.

Before Jim asked Mr. Agonestes to open the safe, he examined the outside minutely. It had not been wiped clean as he had feared, but the layer of prints on the heavy silver handle, just under Mr. Agonestes' opening from earlier in the day, was uniformly featureless and smudged. Great, he thought sourly, too many crooks these days know to wear latex gloves.

When the safe was opened, the smell of latex on the cover of the stamp album confirmed what Jim had thought. This was, if not a professional job, certainly a careful one. Unfortunately, all the scent traces in the room -- except for Mr. Agonestes, of course -- were several days old, indicating that no one other than household members had entered recently. But maybe some of them would be unlikely visitors. "Do you allow anyone else access to the safe?" he asked.

"My wife and son, of course," Mr. Agonestes replied promptly. He chuckled softly. "I've worked hard for my money, but I pride myself on not being a skinflint; if Mary or the kids need cash, it's right there." He gestured to a small stack of bills to one side of the safe. "But I checked; there's none unaccounted for."

"The thief would know that missing money would be discovered more quickly than the missing stamps. If the ledgers hadn't been misaligned, how long might it have been before you discovered the loss?"

Mr. Agonestes shrugged. "Anywhere up to a couple of months; I don't open the album that often."

"So it's possible the stamps were taken before this weekend."

"Possible, but not likely. Since nothing else is missing, there'd be no reason for the ledgers to be disturbed if the stamps had been taken some time ago."

Jim nodded his agreement. "Of course, that means we will have to check on your guests from this weekend, but we'll be as discreet as possible. Are any of them fellow stamp-collectors?"

"No, none; they're merely tolerant when I show off my latest treasure. I'll make a copy of the guest list for you." Mr. Agonestes sat down at his desk, pulled a sheet of paper out of the drawer, and started to write.

"Thank you, sir. While you do that, Blair and I will make our initial examination, then send the forensics people in later."

Jim prowled the room, looking for anything that seemed out of place, but found nothing. What kind of detective was he that he couldn't find the evidence -- even with the help of his senses -- that must be present? He pinched the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger, trying to force back the incipient headache.

"Maybe you're pushing too hard," Blair suggested quietly. "Try to let your focus just sort of... float... and see if anything disturbs the virtual water. And dial up your sense of smell, see if anyone beside family has been in here lately."

"Already done that, Chief," Jim objected, "and the answer is 'no'." But sometimes it seemed like his senses reacted to Sandburg's suggestions like one of Pavlov's dogs; as his sense of smell dialed up automatically, he was almost overwhelmed by scents of leather, cleaning agents, and personal care products. Cautiously reducing the input, he tried to put a timeline on the freshness of the scents. Mr. Agonestes' was most recent, of course, then Kevin a couple of days earlier, then the wife a day or so before that. But --

"Mr. Agonestes, you said Kevin's been away at college. Do you know if he entered this room during the weekend?"

"Well, of course, Detective." Mr. Agonestes looked up from his writing and answered easily. "We had a nice long conversation in here Friday afternoon, when he got here early for the party. It's refreshing to indulge in man-talk without the women present; just don't tell Mary I said that!" he chuckled.

So, the presence of Kevin's scent couldn't be counted as overtly suspicious. Still, there was something... Jim tried again, focusing on the boy's scent and working to identify why it kept pinging at his subconscious. Nerves, he decided. The boy had supposedly had a 'nice conversation' with his father, but he'd been... nervous. Why?

Continued prowling elicited no further input. Maybe Jim could pin something down when he questioned Kevin. For now, all he could do was accept the guest list from Mr. Agonestes, promise that the forensics team would be in shortly, and take his leave.

"So, anything?" Blair asked as they climbed into the truck.

"Not yet," Jim answered shortly as he pulled out of the driveway. It was too nebulous at this point to share even with Sandburg. "Maybe after we question Kevin tomorrow. Right now, we might as well pick up something to eat on the way home; Thai or Chinese?"

"Chinese," Blair voted and, after a short stop at the 'Golden Dragon', they headed back to the loft.




Summer waited patently while the three books she'd selected were being checked out.

"Are you sure that's all you need?" Desirée asked. "If you're looking for a specific quote at midnight, you won't be able to get back into the library."

Summer shrugged. "I have to leave something for others who are writing the same paper. I checked; I'm pretty sure I have the most useful sources. And now that we have Internet access in the dorms, I could always try to find something there." She placed the books in the backpack already hanging from the handles of Desirée's chair and, together, they headed out into the soft, late-summer evening.

They traveled in silence for a few moments, taking the long way past the sunken gardens before heading toward the dorms. But Desirée couldn't inhibit her outgoing nature for long, and they were soon in deep discussion about their classes, their fellow students, their teachers -- particularly one Mr. Blair Sandburg -- and the Petersen dig.

"Speaking of which... you will be coming with me to the mixer on Friday night, right?" Desirée urged. "I've heard that Brad Petersen will be there; you and he really seemed to hit it off last time," she teased gently.

"He seems nice enough," Summer answered in neutral tones, hoping that her friend wouldn't notice the blush she could feel heating her cheeks. Truthfully, she was rather attracted to the tall, sandy-haired boy; he had a good sense of humor and was fun to be around. "But Brad's always hanging out with Kevin Agonestes, and he's just plain obnoxious."

"Yeah, some guys are just assholes," Desirée agreed. "But if Brad's talking to you, Kevin will probably go grab a beer, or home in on some other girl. Or both."

Summer shook her head doubtfully. "I don't know; it's too soon to be leading him on."

"Who said anything about leading anyone on?" Desirée allowed her exasperation to show. "You meet, you talk, maybe set up a study date -- he's in your math class, right?"

Summer nodded.

"The point is, it takes time to learn enough about another person to decide if you want to take it a little farther; that's the main reason for parties and dating. You can't expect a knight in shining armor to just burst out of the ground in front of you."

"I don't want a knight in shining armor!" Summer snapped. "That's so... fairytale-ish. I just want..." She trailed off, unwilling or unable to put her ideas into words.

"You want...?" Desirée waited. Summer rarely talked about guys; if Desirée knew what her friend had in mind as a dream-man, she could narrow the search to find the perfect dating prospect.

Summer shrugged self-consciously. "Well... you know... Honest, I guess. And kind. With a sense of humor." She shook her head sharply and increased her stride, as if she could walk away from the idea. "No, that's wrong! It's not like walking into Sears and evaluating the features of the different saws and deciding this one is better than the others and wrap it up to go, please!"

"Of course not," Desirée assured her, pushing strongly to keep up with her agitated friend. "But everyone has to have some idea of the kind of person they'd be comfortable with. Otherwise, they could just pair us off as we signed up for college, and we'd be stuck with that one man or one woman forever. And it's not like you're the only one who gets a say; you might be interested in a guy who isn't interested in you at all. Then you move on and start again."

"It all just seems so -- trial and error," Summer sighed.

Desirée grinned. "Yeah, and sometimes there's a lot of 'trial' before you find the right one... but it's fun! Don't think of it as looking for the right guy. Just have a good time with anyone who strikes your fancy. Then, somewhere down the line, if you really hit it off, that's when you decide what to do about it."

Summer chewed her lip as she walked in silence for a few moments, while Desirée waited patiently for her friend to reach some conclusion.

"Okay," Summer conceded. "I guess you're right." She smiled down at Desirée as she held open the dormitory door. "But you better stick close, in case I need rescuing."

"Well, duh! As if I'd throw you to the lions. I'll just run over their toes if they give you any grief. 'Oops! So sorry! Sometimes this chair just gets away from me!'" Desirée's smile was wicked. "Who's going to blame a poor crippled girl?"

Summer chuckled as she shook her head. "That's a laugh. If they only knew how lethal you are in that thing. You should register it as a dangerous weapon."

"And give away my secret advantage? Where's the sense in that?" Desirée continued suggesting ever more outrageous rescues as they headed toward their room. It would be impolite to gloat in her friend's face, but she was well satisfied; her plan to encourage Summer into more socializing was proceeding very nicely indeed.






Tuesday, 9/24/96

"You sure this is the right place?" Jim asked Blair as he parked across from the three-story, red-brick building with '234' over the elegant, carved front door. Despite its location across the street from the campus theatre building, it looked... well, too good to be a frat-house. It had a well-kept front lawn, with shrubbery next to the sidewalk, and there were no visible signs of damage or neglect.

Blair chuckled. "I know exactly what you're thinking, man. Yeah, this is it. Scuttlebutt has it that the kids living here pay an extra fee, and the money goes to cleaning-service visits twice a week, and gardening-service visits twice a month. All their fathers are rich, so what do they care? They probably spend more on a weekend party than they spend on the extra fees."

"And what does the scuttlebutt say about those, Chief? Any suspicions about shady dealings floating on the wind?"

"No, not really. Actually, it has a rep as one of the more restrained off-campus houses. From what I've heard, they pretty much limit their activities to beer, loud music, and a bit of weed -- there've been no complaints about any harder stuff."

"In other words, the rich kids are the good kids, huh?" Jim frowned at the façade across the street, wishing his sentinel sight extended to Superman's x-ray vision. "Gotta tell you, Chief, I grew up in that world; rich kids can be just as stupid and obnoxious as anyone else, and being born with a silver spoon in their mouths makes them think that their rights are more important than anyone else's."

Blair stared at the man beside him. Jim knew that world? Had he actually grown up with money, or had he taken summer jobs working for wealthy families? He shelved the question for later. "I thought cops tried to avoid pigeonholing people based on stereotypes. You know as well as I do that not all poor people are lazy trash, and not all rich people are arrogant assholes."

Jim shrugged. "Got me there, Chief. You know it, and I know it, but sometimes the early lessons are hard to unlearn. But since I'm only here to ask a few questions about a party, I don't think I'll have to lean on him too much. You ready?"

They crossed the street together, climbed the three shallow steps to the broad, covered porch, and Jim pressed firmly on the doorbell. After a few minutes' wait, the door was opened by a redheaded, gangly young man. "Yeah?"

"I'm Detective Ellison of the Cascade PD and I need --"

The kid's heartbeat increased dramatically, and Jim smelled the acrid tang of nervous sweat. "Hey, man, we've been keeping a low profile, just that one noisy party and that was last spring! Why d'ya gotta keep hasslin' us?"

Blair kept his amusement to himself -- seemed like college students had no love of police, whether or not they had a specific reason -- and stepped in to smooth the way. "No, no, nothing like that," he assured the young man. "I'm Professor Sandburg, right here at the University, and we just need Kevin Agonestes to answer a few questions about the party at his parents' place this past weekend. Is he in?"

The student's eyes shifted nervously and he half-turned, as if looking for support. Finding none, he turned back toward the obviously unwelcome visitors, cleared his throat and answered, "I guess. C'mon in and I'll go get him; I think he's upstairs. You can wait in there." He waved vaguely to the left and headed toward the stairs.

'In there' was a large open area that appeared, from the tasteful wallpaper and elegant accessories, to have once been a formal drawing room. The space was now dominated by a pool table and a foosball game at one end of the room, and a giant, wall-mounted TV screen at the other. Noting the cluster of comfortable easy-chairs and convenient snack tables in front of the TV, Blair wondered idly if the athletes among them taped their own games to watch later. "Man, if this is how the other half lives, I'd like to give it a try. I could --"

"Shh!" Jim whispered urgently. "They're talking!"

Blair immediately turned and laid a hand on Jim's forearm. They didn't have any firm data yet, but it seemed like Jim's senses functioned better, or more easily, when he was in physical contact with Blair. It seemed counter-intuitive -- shouldn't the touch be a distraction? -- but, so far, Jim had never complained. Maybe his touch functioned as an anchor or something; somehow, it just seemed right.

"Remember those dials we talked about?" He spoke on the merest breath, to avoid overloading the sentinel's system. "See if you can turn up the one for hearing, focus in on them easier."

Jim's head cocked to one side, a frown of concentration on his face... then he gasped and flinched, his hands raised to cover his hears. Even Blair could hear the loud, exuberant voices as several students entered another door and dropped sports equipment on the floor.

"Turn it down!" he whispered urgently. "Just... just bring your perception back to normal levels, pay attention to only this room." He seized one of Jim's hands and began a kind of massage, hoping that a different point of focus would help.

Jim took a deep breath, then another, and gently disengage his hand from Blair's. "Thanks, Chief; it worked. But I don't think we need to be holding hands when Kevin gets here." He turned to face the archway from the entrance hall, just as another student walked toward them.

"I'm Kevin Agonestes. You wanted to see me?"

Jim could almost taste the arrogance that oozed from the young man in front of him, though he seemed to be making an effort to appear accommodating. It was a thin act, belied by the cold black eyes that stared appraisingly.

Jim nodded toward the chairs in front of the TV. "This will take a few minutes. Would you care to have a seat?" He waited until Kevin had settled, then selected a chair facing the young man, nudging it forward as he sat, so that it was just a little too close for social comfort.

"Thank you. Did your father tell you he was robbed this past weekend?"

"Yeah, he mentioned it when he said you wanted to ask some questions. What's that got to do with me?" His tone suggested that the police were inferior beings that he spoke to only because his father requested it.

"We were wondering if you'd seen or heard something during the weekend -- something that you didn't pay attention to at the time, but that seems a bit out-of-place or unusual now that you know a robbery occurred."

"Detective, I had a guest last weekend -- a very lovely young lady. I assure you, my attention was focused exclusively on her." He brushed a hand over his thick, dark hair, and Jim was irresistibly reminded of a peacock in full display. "Besides, there were far too many people present to keep track of who went where."

Methinks he doth protest too much, Jim thought, noting a slightly -- but only slightly -- elevated heartbeat. If Kevin was involved, he was too self-possessed to be caught by referring to it, even by careless innuendo. That was of no consequence; intuition might point the way, but investigations were solved by attention to detail. Jim questioned Kevin fully about the entire weekend, until his answers became short, and his veneer of compliance began to fray around the edges.

"I don't know what else I can tell you, Detective. I went home, I ate, I partied, I came back to school. What more do you expect?"

Once again, Blair smoothly deflected an irritated bystander -- or possibly a witness. "Oh, hey, don't mind him; he just gets totally focused when he's working a case. Of course, that's good; gives him a much better chance of finding your father's missing stamps." He leaned forward, talking confidentially man-to-man. "The funny thing is, Brad Petersen's and John Taylor's and Hank Colberg's fathers have also been robbed of small, expensive items -- and those guys are all members of this fraternity; we talked to them a couple of weeks ago. It just seems natural that you'd all speculate, kind of kick it around, you know? You're all much closer to the source than we can be; is there anything, no matter how minor, you've noticed that the incidents have in common?" He glanced at Jim to make sure he wasn't overstepping the boundaries, but the detective looked relaxed and approving. Sometimes a civilian could get more in casual conversation than the police could in direct questioning.

"No, not a thing," Kevin replied. He seemed more comfortable and responsive, but the cold eyes had not warmed. "We've kicked it around, of course -- we sort of hang out together -- but we couldn't come up with a single idea between us. No disrespect to the police --" his eyes flickered toward Jim, "-- but I suspect that they might not be able to solve this one; whoever these guys are, they're awfully good."

"'These guys', Mr. Agonestes?" Jim asked. "What makes you think it's more than one person? Have you seen or heard something that you've neglected to mention?"

"What? Oh -- no! Just... it seems too much for a single person to handle, doesn't it?" Kevin quickly covered the momentary break in his image, and stood abruptly. "And now, if you'll excuse me, Detective, I think we're finished here, and I have class in fifteen minutes; I need to go. Let me show you out."

Jim allowed it; he wouldn't learn anything useful from Kevin Agonestes, no matter how long he continued the questioning.




Blair waited until they were in the truck to give voice to his curiosity. "So? What d' you think? Did you pick up anything useful?"

Jim's mouth was a grim line as he pulled into traffic. "Nothing I can use. But he's in on it; he wasn't as calm as he wanted us to think. And when that other kid went up to tell him we were waiting, the first thing he said was, 'Kevin, it's the cops! You said they'd never figure it out!' But then those other kids came in, and I couldn't hear Kevin's answer."

"Well... but it doesn't have to mean anything. The kid who answered the door isn't connected to any of the robbery victims," Blair pointed out. "It could have been the standard teenage freaking 'cause they toked up last weekend, or even used something harder."

"Could be, but not too likely; kids today just don't get that bent out of shape about the idea of getting caught at recreational drug use. Maybe the door-kid's been acting as a lookout, or maybe his father just hasn't been hit yet -- didn't you say that everyone in that frat-house comes from a wealthy family? Maybe his dad's next on the list to get hit."

"As spooked as he was? Even if there is 'a list', and his dad was next, I bet they'll skip him and go on to the next one."

"Could be," Jim agreed. "But we don't know that all of the victims' kids are working together. It could be just two or three, who are preying on their friends' families because they've visited the homes, and know their way around."

"But does it make any difference if it's just a few, or all of them? I mean, if they're scared of you getting close, they should pack it up and keep quiet; if the robberies stop, you'll have no new evidence to follow."

"That would be the sensible course to follow, Chief. But very few criminals are sensible, especially young ones. They'll make another hit."

"But what if they don't? The clues you have so far haven't gotten you anywhere." Blair was actually curious; he'd already learned that real-life police work wasn't like the cop shows, but this case was dragging on longer than the others he'd watched Jim work. How would Jim proceed if no new robberies occurred?

"Think about it; the stolen items won't do them any good just hidden away. Eventually, they'll try to pawn them, or unload them on the black market, or sell them to private collectors, and we'll have our feelers out. And now that I have an idea who's involved, I can dig deeper and more effectively. It may take awhile, but I'll catch them."

"Assuming it is them," Blair reminded him. "God, I actually hope you're reading the signals wrong. Imagine how all those fathers will feel if it turns out their own sons stole from them. Man, that's such a basic violation of trust and family."

Jim's voice was bleak as he answered, "Unfortunately, that's one of the first things you learn at this job -- there are good kids and bad kids, and the bad kids show up at every social level. The family they grow up in and how wealthy they are doesn't necessarily change anything."

Blair sighed and stared out the window. "I know. But I don't have to like it."

"None of us do, Chief; none of us do."






Friday, 9/27/96

Summer sighed as she glanced around the large, 'all-purpose' room of the Student Union Building, now decorated in autumn colors for the monthly student mixer. There was nothing wrong, exactly. The band -- a group of students who played semi-professionally in local nightspots on the weekend -- was quite good; they played recent and current music, and kept the sound levels loud enough for dancing, but not too loud for talking to friends. A sprinkling of faculty circulated throughout the room, ensuring that things -- the guys -- wouldn't get too rowdy. And it wasn't like she was surrounded by strangers; she knew at least, oh, twenty percent of the people here, from her classes and her theatre group. She'd been asked to dance three times already, so she couldn't complain of being a wallflower. Even the buffet table had a nice assortment of food that was actually tasty, instead of being disguised reconstituted cardboard.

But it was all too... just too. Too much noise from the music and conversation, too many people, too many smells from flowers and perfume and aftershave, too much movement and activity. And, unless she wanted to hide out in the restroom, no place to gain a few minutes' peace and quiet to settle her nerves. Even the sunken gardens, just outside the opened sets of French doors at the end of the room, hosted a number of dancing couples, and others who walked along the meandering paths, looking for a bit of privacy. Summer might find an uninhabited, shadowed little nook if she tried, but that sort of defeated the purpose of attending, and she had promised Desirée that she'd try to 'mingle'.

Too bad she couldn't be more like her friend. Summer watched Desirée, engaged in animated conversation with a group of half a dozen people, and tried to ignore the touch of envy she felt. Desirée was so vibrant and outgoing, and it was so easy for her to connect with people; Summer was willing to bet she'd never had a tongue-tied moment in her life. She was certainly comfortable this evening; her occasional laughter drifted across the room, and she'd even been asked to 'dance' several times, happily executing some intricate maneuvers with her chair in time to the music.

Summer sighed again, then gave herself a discreet little kick. Okay, enough of this pity party. She turned to get some more punch -- might as well try to look like she was having a good time -- and almost smacked into Brad Petersen; with the noise-levels in here, she hadn't heard him come up behind her.

"Oh! Hi, Brad!" she squeaked, then wanted to sink through the floor; couldn't she even control her voice around a good-looking guy? To make it worse, Kevin Agonestes was with his friend, staring at her with that sardonic half-sneer that she hated, probably snickering over hearing the break in her voice. She gave him a noncommittal nod, hoping he'd go somewhere else.

Brad gave her a large, expansive smile, seeming not to notice her discomfort. "Summer! I hoped I'd see you here! So, were you heading for some more punch? I could use some, too." Just like that, Summer was swept along in his orbit, answering questions about how her week had gone, and listening to Brad expound on his own classes and football practice. After a few minutes, Kevin did indeed disappear somewhere else, and the party quickly became a lot more fun.




Desirée was keeping a discreet eye on her friend. Summer really needed to find her own comfort-level in social gatherings, which she'd never do if she stayed at Desirée's elbow all evening, so Desirée had more-or-less pushed her out of the nest once the party became more lively. She couldn't be feeling too bad; Summer liked any kind of rhythmic movement, and she practically sparkled with pleasure each time one of the boys asked her to dance. Of course, in between dances, she looked a little lost, but Desirée was convinced that the guys would go for that vulnerable look; in just a little while, Summer would be having as much fun as anyone here.

Her expectations were confirmed when she saw Summer dancing with Brad Petersen, looking positively star-struck. They looked so good together, dancing close, Summer's long dark hair swaying with the movements of the dance, and Brad's blond head bent solicitously over her; Brad really seemed to like Summer.

The dance ended, and Brad and Summer headed toward the French doors and the gardens beyond. Desirée smiled in satisfaction, and turned her attention back to the ongoing conversation. She was pretty sure that Sam Liges needed only a little more encouragement to ask her to dance.




Desirée chuckled heartily over Sam's latest quip; he had a wicked sense of humor. "I'll go you one better," she said. "Last week --"

"Dessie, we've gotta go," Summer's voice announced unexpectedly from behind her.

Desirée hadn't seen Summer come in; she spun and stared up at her friend. Summer had been out in the gardens for so long that Desirée had assumed she and Brad were necking in some quiet corner. But she wasn't wearing a 'thoroughly-kissed' look; instead, she looked... the only word that came to Desirée's mind was 'shattered'.

"Now!" Summer insisted, reaching for the handles of Desirée's wheelchair and starting to push.

Desirée grabbed the wheels, resisting the forward movement. "What's wrong?" she asked, concerned. "If you feel sick, maybe we should go to the restroom here. I won't be able to help you if you collapse on the way home; maybe you'll feel better if you lie down on the couch in the waiting area."

Summer shook her head almost violently. "No, it's not that, it's just --" She stopped, staring at the small group around Desirée, who were watching her with varying degrees of surprise and concern. Summer took a deep, calming breath, and offered a weak, tremulous smile.

"I'm sorry; I forgot where we are. And I'm not sick, just -- upset; Brad and I had a little spat." Her attempted 'unconcerned laugh' was remarkably unconvincing. "So I'm not in the mood to hang around longer; I just want to go back to my room." Summer glanced at Desirée. "But I'm being silly; I really don't need you to hold my hand. If you want to stay longer, I can walk back alone; it's not that far."

"Not likely!" Desirée snorted. "There'll be other parties. Right now, I need to help my best friend give a verbal beat-up to what is obviously a stupid, idiot guy. I'll see y'all later, okay?" she tossed over her shoulder as she urged Summer out of the room and into the cool night air.

Summer walked silently beside her, seeming disinclined to explain what had happened. Maybe it would be better to wait; back in the room, Desirée would be able to give her full attention to her friend, instead of expending some of it on maneuvering her chair through the dark.

Finally within the comfort of their room, Desirée became brisk; she needed to help Summer get rid of that expression of lost misery. "Okay, get out of those duds and shower; you'll feel better. I'll make some coffee; I think we'll both need it."

Summer nodded and, still without speaking, stepped out of her dress and hung it in the closet with careful, mechanical movements. Desirée was growing increasingly alarmed; this reaction was so unlike her ever-practical, competent friend. She watched closely as Summer gathered clean underwear and a set of comfortable sweats; her friend didn't look disheveled, and her dress wasn't mussed, but still --

Desirée grabbed Summer's hand as she headed toward the bathroom. "Wait a minute! Summer, look at me." When she had Summer's attention -- as much as she thought her friend could manage, right now -- Desirée asked urgently, "Did Brad try something out there? I mean... do we need to call the police before you shower? Like -- not destroy evidence?"

"What?" Summer stared for a moment, trying to work out what her friend meant. "Oh! No, nothing like that; Brad's too much of a 'gentleman' to try to force himself on a woman." Her tone was contemptuous, which was better than the earlier emptiness, Desirée decided. "But we'll probably need to call the police later, anyway; apparently he's not too much of a gentleman to steal."

Summer pulled free of Desirée slackened grasp and, reaching the bathroom, shut the door firmly behind her. Desirée stared at the closed door for a moment, then headed toward the coffee-maker and reached for the canister. It sounded like they would definitely need a pot.




The coffee had finished perking by the time Summer emerged from the bathroom, hair wrapped in a towel, tying the belt of her robe. She accepted the cup that Desirée offered her, and sat cross-legged in the middle of her bed. She looked calmer, Desirée decided, but still troubled and serious.

"All right, tell me what happened," Desirée ordered.

Summer sipped at her coffee while she mentally ran through the sequence, then sighed deeply. "I don't know if you saw him, but Brad showed up and asked me to dance. And then when it was over, he invited me to walk in the gardens... so I said 'okay'."

Desirée nodded encouragement, but didn't speak.

"And we talked for a while, just normal stuff, and he was nice. But then he started getting all bragging -- you know how guys get when they're trying to impress you -- about how clever he was to get past the defense in the last football game, and how many points he scored, and the fancy car he got for his eighteenth birthday, and on and on.

"And, you know, it was kind of boring, and I guess I didn't hide it very well, 'cause he just kept piling it on, like he thought if he could come up with something big enough, I'd be all 'ooh' and 'aah'. Finally he said he was going to the casino pretty soon, and he had a surefire way to beat the house, and he asked if I'd like to go along when he went."

Desirée's eyes widened. "I thought you had to be twenty-one to gamble at the casino."

Summer nodded. "That's what I thought. And I know my folks sure wouldn't let me be gambling. So I just blurted out, 'Your dad lets you?' And he said, 'Dad doesn't know anything about it -- even if he is bankrolling it.' And he smiled this kind of smirky smile like he was so smart, but it kind of creeped me out." She paused, sipping her coffee while she stared into space.

Desirée waited for a few minutes but, as the silence stretched, she grew impatient. "Well, it sounds a bit weird," she agreed, "but how do you get from that to stealing?"

Summer shrugged. "He wasn't making any sense, so I said, 'Oh?' or 'What?' or something like that. And he said his dad had made an 'involuntary contribution' and as soon as they -- well, he said 'we', like it was him and someone else -- as soon as they 'figured out how to move the stuff', he'd have 'way more money than the piddling allowance my old man gives me'. And he smirked, like there was some big joke that he wasn't letting me in on."

Desirée's brow furrowed. "I still don't get it."

"Maybe you had to be there; it was in his tone of voice or something. But don't you remember reading about the string of robberies lately? There were a bunch of names I didn't know, but two of them were Brad Petersen's father and Kevin Agonestes's father; they stuck in my memory 'cause I know them."

"Oh my god, you're right!" Desirée exclaimed, then frowned. "Still, it doesn't sound like much; it's not like proof-positive or anything."

Summer nodded miserably. "I know. I feel like I should report it, but what if I'm wrong? And I can just see a policeman deciding it means nothing, and tossing my report in the trash." She shrugged, helplessly. "I don't even know who to talk to."

"Yeah, that's a problem." Desirée chewed on a ragged cuticle while she thought. "Hey! How about Professor Sandburg?"

"Our teacher?!" Summer squeaked.

"Sure! Don't you remember? His roommate is a cop. He could tell the cop, and the cop could pass it on and take it from there. Let's call him right now."

Summer's eyes widened with alarm. "It's late," she objected.

"Nine-forty-five," Desirée snorted. "Do you think a grown man will be in bed this early on a Friday night? Get out the Campus Directory and let's get it over with."

A few moments later, Desirée dialed the number and thrust the receiver into Summer's hand. She almost dropped it when she heard "Ellison!" barked over the line but, at Desirée's urgent gestures, took a deep breath.

"Yes... um, hi... May I speak to Professor Sandburg, please?"




Jim frowned as the phone rang. This late at night, it probably meant that something had come up that wouldn't wait till morning. As he stalked forward, he saw Blair lift his head from grading student essays, prepared to drop everything if he needed to back up his partner.

"Ellison!"

The voice on the other end of the line was female, young, and very timid. "Yes... um, hi... May I speak to Professor Sandburg, please?"

Jim stifled a grunt of relief. Good; his peaceful Friday evening wasn't going to be interrupted by some gory crime scene. "It's for you, Chief. Sounds like one of your students; she asked for 'Professor' Sandburg."

"On a Friday?" Blair's eyebrows raised as he reached for the phone. No one freaked out on a Friday night, especially when -- as now -- there were no big exams or research papers due. "This is Blair," he said pleasantly.

He heard a gasp, then, "Professor? It's Summer van Eisen. I... I heard something tonight, and I think... maybe I should tell the police."

Okay, definitely something more than dropping grades, and the poor kid sounded terrified. Blair snapped his fingers at Jim to get his attention, then pointed to the receiver as he pulled it a hair's-breadth away from his ear; this might be something he needed to know.

"I'll be happy to go with you when you talk to them, if that's what you need," he assured her in his most soothing voice.

"No... I mean, yes... I mean, I don't know if it's really important. I thought... I could tell you and you could tell your cop friend?"

"Of course I can, if it'll make you feel better. But you know how second-hand information can get mangled. How about if I put us all on the speaker phone?"

At her assent, Blair punched the speaker button while Jim grabbed a pencil and pad for making notes. Gradually, in fits and starts, Summer recounted the evening's conversation. Jim allowed Blair to carry the exchange; it was obvious this young woman was nervous enough without talking to a strange voice. But he did scrawl a couple of questions on the notepad, and let Blair pass them on to Summer.

Slowly, she reported the entire conversation. Jim interrupted her once. "Excuse me, Miss..." He picked up her name from Blair's sentinel-soft whisper. "Miss van Eisen, you say Mr. Petersen used the word 'we' when he talked about what was being planned. Do you have any idea who he might have been talking about?"

"Not really," she said. "But he hangs around a lot with Nicky Cardenelli and John Taylor. And Kevin Agonestes is his best friend; they're always together."

Jim nodded; Cardenelli and Taylor were two more of the victims. "Thank you; please continue."

"Well, that's really all there was," she said. "I know it doesn't sound like much, but it just seemed so... hinky. But I wasn't sure..." Summer trailed off uncertainly.

Her instincts were good, Jim thought. This would explain why they hadn't been able to find any evidence of outside intrusion.

"Miss van Eisen, you've done exactly the right thing." Jim used his 'reassure-and-calm-the-victims' voice. "Now that you've given us a direction, your part is finished. Now it's our job to investigate and determine whether there's any substance to what you heard."

"Thank you, Detective. I just... I wouldn't want Brad to get in trouble if I'm jumping to conclusions."

"I assure you, we won't act without finding solid evidence first. But we do appreciate your coming forward with this information."

"Well... okay. I hope it helps. Good night," she finished softly.

Both Jim and Blair wished her 'good night' as well, then Blair switched off the speaker button and hung up the phone.

"Well, that sucks," Blair remarked sourly. "Sounds like you were right that it's the kids who are doing it."

"At least some of them; we don't know how many are involved," Jim reminded him. "And hardly 'kids', Chief -- old enough to vote, and to know exactly what they're doing." He started his evening routine of checking the windows and doors.

Blair watched silently for a few moments, weighing the possibilities. "So, what's your next move?"

"Tomorrow morning, we invite the junior Agonestes, Petersen, Cardenelli and Taylor to the PD, where they will be questioned in depth while I monitor every breath and heartbeat." His thin-lipped smile was almost feral.

"Don't you need to get a warrant first?"

"Not if we're simply asking a citizen to help with our inquiries. But you're right; we need to avoid giving them a loophole that they can weasel out of. I'll call their parents first thing, tell them we have new information, and ask if I can question their sons again."

"They might lawyer-up," Blair warned.

This time, Jim's tight smile was definitely feral. "Let them try. A lawyer can't stop me evaluating their heartbeats."

Blair shook his head as he gathered the student essays into a pile, with the half-marked one on top. "And all because they weren't happy with the size of their allowances. That's just -- stupid."

"Most criminals are, Chief; stupid and arrogant. That doesn't mean all of them will have the same reason. But I guarantee you, none of their reasons will be any better. What it all boils down to is, they don't care for anyone's feelings but their own, and they're probably doing it for the thrills as much as anything else."

"That's kind of cynical." Blair carried his empty beer bottle into the kitchen -- carefully avoiding looking at Jim -- rinsed it out, and tossed it in the recycling bin.

"It's realistic. Sandburg, we both know that there are some people trapped by circumstance, some who do unpleasant things simply to stay alive, and we could have a nice intellectual discussion about where to draw the line. But these guys aren't even close to that line; they've had every advantage, but still chose to prey on others." Jim watched Blair, who was still carefully avoiding eye contact, and softened his voice. "But I know them being students makes it hard for you. You don't have to come with me in the morning, if you don't want to."

Blair looked up at that, his face firming in resolve. "No, you might need me, especially if you're going to be using your senses on them. And you're right -- if they've crossed the line for nothing more than kicks, they don't deserve my sympathy. See you in the morning, Jim; goodnight." He strode toward his bedroom and softly shut the door behind him.

Jim stared at the closed door, then shook his head ruefully. This was the hard part of police work, and there was really nothing he could say to make it easier on Sandburg; everyone had to decide for himself whether or not the benefits of protecting society were worth the slow eroding of the soul. But Jim still needed the other man's support for this sentinel thing; he simply wasn't ready to fly solo with the senses. He could only hope that this wouldn't be the case that would cause Sandburg to decide he no longer wanted to ride along.

Only time would answer that question. With a soft, "Goodnight, Chief," Jim headed up the stairs to his own bedroom.






Saturday, 9/28/96

When Summer awoke, it was obvious that Desirée, most uncharacteristically, had risen some time earlier; she was already dressed, and Summer could smell fresh coffee in the pot, and cinnamon rolls warming in the toaster oven. She yawned and stretched, and murmured a sleepy 'good morning'.

"Well, for another couple of hours, anyway; I was starting to wonder if I'd have to wake you for dinner this evening." Desirée's voice was cheerful as always, but Summer thought it sounded a bit artificial, like she was trying too hard. "You ready for breakfast?"

Was she? Summer felt fuzzy, with her thoughts in slow-motion. "Yeah, I guess. Just let me use the bathroom and wash up."

Desirée had the coffee poured and the cinnamon rolls waiting on a plate when Summer got back; they ate in silence for a few minutes. When Summer had eaten half her roll, and rose to pour more coffee, Desirée finally spoke.

"So... you feel better this morning?"

Better? What...? Memory kicked in, and the hovering cloud of anxiety descended. "Oh my god!" Summer sank back into her chair and stared at her friend. "I called the cops on Brad Petersen! What was I thinking?!"

"You were thinking you needed to report something suspicious to the proper authorities, and that's what you did," Desirée pointed out in tones of eminent practicality. "And you heard Detective Ellison; they're not just going to haul him off to jail. They'll check it out, first."

"But if they do, it'll be all my fault!"

"No, if they do, it'll be Brad's fault if he's done something illegal. Do you really think you should have not said anything just because he's a friend?"

Summer wouldn't meet her friend's eyes. "Well, no, but..." She trailed off, unable to define her scrambled thoughts.

"But you can't stop thinking about it. I was afraid of that. So I've got it all planned; we'll pack a lunch and spend the day at the dig."

"We will?" For the first time, Summer noticed that Desirée was wearing her 'grubbies', rather than her customary casual shorts-and-sandals weekend attire.

"We will. We'll both dig, and I'll catalogue whatever we find. It'll keep your mind occupied, and off whatever might be happening here -- or at the police station."

"But -- by ourselves?"

"Professor Sandburg said we could, and you know Amanda and Nathan have been going out most weekends; we might even see them there. But even if we don't, we know how to handle ourselves now; no problem."

Summer considered her friend's idea, and her face relaxed. "Yeah, I think you're right." She jumped up, her usual energy reasserting itself. "Okay, I'll get dressed and run down to get ice for the cooler while you make the lunches." She hurried to her closet, while Desirée smiled in satisfaction as she finished her coffee.

Fifteen minutes later, as they were heading out the door, Summer exclaimed, "Wait! What if Detective Ellison has more questions?"

"But you already told him everything; what more questions could he have?" Desirée's voice was impatient. She knew her friend; she had to get Summer away from campus, or she'd just fuss and fret all day.

"But he might need to... to... confirm it, or something."

"Then leave a note on the door, so he'll know where we are." Not that he'll even be here to see it, Desirée thought, but it wasn't worth arguing; Summer had not yet regained her usual calm self-control.

"Oh, good idea."

Summer hurried to her desk and used a green Magic Marker to scrawl, Gone to the dig. Back at 5:30. She carefully taped the note to the outside of the door -- top and bottom so it wouldn't accidentally get brushed off during the day -- then locked the door behind her, picked up the cooler and her bag of tools, and followed her friend down the hallway.




"What the hell were you thinking, Petersen?" Kevin Agonestes snarled as he wrenched his classic Mustang around a corner and accelerated sharply, weaving in and out of traffic. "Do you realize we could lose everything, just because you had to open your big mouth to impress that mousy little bitch? If she goes to the cops, that could be what they need to track us down."

"It wasn't like that!" Brad Petersen defended himself hotly. "We were talking, that's all, and it's not like I said anything specific, just --"

"Just let her know you're planning to go gambling without your old man knowing about it, that's all. I told you to stay away from her; the quiet, smart ones are always more trouble than they're worth!" Kevin's rage was barely contained. "She'll put that together with you talking about 'moving the stuff' -- how many old movies have you watched, for god's sake? -- and go running to the cops as soon as she figures it out. Jesus, if we'd known you were such an idiot, we wouldn't have let you join our group. And you, Cardenelli -- you vouched for him; that makes you an idiot, too."

Stung, Nicky Cardenelli leaned forward from the back seat. "Hey, don't blame me! Brad's always been solid till now; how could I know he was gonna jump in a whole pool of stupid?"

Brad was becoming nervous. Kevin was showing a violent side he'd never seen before, and Nicky seemed inclined to back him up. In self-defense, he argued again, "I'm telling you, Summer likes me; she won't go to the cops."

"The way she ran out of the dance last night?" Kevin sneered. "I'm not gonna risk my share of the take on the chance that she'll keep quiet because she likes you. We're just lucky it's Saturday; that Detective Ellison will be off duty. By the time that bitch works her way through the weekend shift and they call him in to talk to her, he won't be around to check us out till late this afternoon."

"But why do we have to move the stuff?" Nicky asked. "It's a good hiding place; I still say we should leave it there. They'll never find it; all we have to do is keep cool and when the cops question us, we don't know anything about anything. Whatever she tells them, they won't have any proof, and the cops will have to give up eventually."

Kevin braked sharply and turned onto an unpaved, rutted dirt track. "You didn't meet Ellison. He's a suspicious bastard; he'll tear Brad's place apart -- well, his old man's -- looking for evidence. And when he doesn't find anything, he'll look to your place and mine, because anyone'll tell him we hang together. Eventually someone will remember that old root cellar and tell the cops, and Ellison will be bustin' down the door to check it out."

Brad slumped in his seat. Kevin was right; he was stupid. And if a new hiding place had to be unconnected to all of them... "So, where can we move it to?" He hoped Kevin had an idea, because his brain refused to offer anything.

Kevin carefully maneuvered his car to avoid the worst of the ruts; with the need for concentration, his anger was fading. "I've been thinking. It has to be someplace that has no connection to any of us, and someplace where people won't stumble across it accidentally."

"It's all wrapped in plastic, and protected in the briefcases," Nicky pointed out. "Why don't we just bury them, someplace in the woods that's not on any of our parents' lands?"

"No good," Kevin objected. "Even wrapped in plastic, some moisture might affect the stamps, and they'd lose half their value. You can't imagine how fussy my old man is about that collection."

"You know, in the movies..." Brad began.

Kevin snorted. "Oh, yeah, pick a movie cliché for hiding; the cops wouldn't ever think to check out such an obvious place. Or you could paint a neon arrow with the words, 'this way to the loot'."

"I'm serious. We take the briefcases to the bus station and rent one of the storage lockers. It's anonymous, it doesn't have a connection to any of us, and it only has to be for a few days -- just until we think of something better."

Kevin considered as he slowed the car even farther and left the track, following a faint path through the trees. When he'd first planned these... episodes, he'd figured this 'back-door' approach to the root cellar was safe, even though they couldn't hide signs of a vehicle's passage, because no one would ever be looking for it. Now, he wasn't so sure -- but at least, if it was found, the cops wouldn't be able to tell which vehicle had used it. They'd still have plausible deniability.

"Huh. You might actually have a good idea, there. We play innocent until the cops realize they don't have any evidence and give up, then scout out a safer solution." Kevin parked in his usual spot, and shut off the engine.

It was still a half-mile walk to the old root cellar, but Kevin had realized from the very beginning that they had to leave as little evidence as possible. Not that he was worried; he was smarter than any cop, and he had watched enough crime shows to know what not to do.

"Okay, let's go get the briefcases and get out of here. We need to get 'em locked up and be back in our rooms, being all innocent when the oh-so-mighty Ellison shows up." Kevin turned and strode toward the root-cellar, with his cohorts following behind.

Nicky chortled and punched Brad companionably on the shoulder. "Yeah, we'll run rings around Cascade's 'finest', won't we?"

Brad nodded glumly. Somehow, being a cat burglar didn't seem so much like an exciting adventure, anymore.




To Blair's surprise, Jim didn't storm out the door in what he privately considered 'sentinel hunting mode' immediately after waking. The smell of waffles, scrambled eggs and coffee drew Blair from his bedroom. To his inquiring look, Jim replied, "Might as well, Chief; between the party last night and them being teenagers, it's not likely they were up at sunrise."

After breakfast, Jim put in the promised calls to the boys' parents. All agreed that their sons could answer more questions, with one caveat. "John Taylor's spending the day at home; his older sister's getting married," Jim reported. "But his dad says he's planning to go back to the frat house tomorrow morning, and we can 'interview' him then. We can pick up the other three today, though."

Blair's forehead creased in thought. It was true, he didn't know much about police-work yet, but -- "Won't that compromise the questioning?" he asked. "I mean, these three will tell him all about it tomorrow, and he'll be ready with his answers." He was surprised to see a faint smile on Jim's face; in fact, the man looked almost proud.

"You're right, Chief; normally, if suspects have been working together, we'd question them separately, and keep them apart until questioning was finished so we could compare their answers. But in this case, it doesn't matter; three out of four is enough to catch the inconsistencies. Either we'll have something solid, and a reason to pull Taylor in, or we'll still be looking for more concrete evidence, and we can question him at any time." Jim reached out to 'bop' Blair lightly on the head. "But that's a good question, Dick Tracy; keep it up, and we'll be pinning a badge on you before you know it."

"Not the hair, man!" By now, it was a standing joke between them. "And you know I'm strictly an observer. Me carry a gun? No way!" Blair watched as Jim tucked his gun in the holster at the back of his belt, then followed his friend down the hallway. "Besides, can you really see me as a cop?"

"It wouldn't surprise me, Chief. Your first day at the PD, you took out one of the Sunrise Patriots with a bathroom-stall door, another with a vending machine, and then you held off Garrett Kincaid with a flare-gun; you've got good instincts."

Wow! Really? Blair felt warmed by the praise, but he knew it was totally unwarranted. "Jim, that was simply sheer terror mixed with a healthy dose of self-preservation. Hell, most of the time, I was just trying to get away."

"As any sane man would. But when you couldn't you did what you had to do, no matter how afraid you were, and your actions were effective. Like I said, good instincts."

Blair considered Jim's words during the drive to the University. Actually, since he'd started hanging out with Jim, he'd been tossed into situations that he'd never dreamed of, even in anthropology -- and sometimes he was kind of proud of his response to some pretty hairy circumstances. If he'd been just one second later busting in Beverly Sanchez's door and pulling her to the floor, she'd've been toast. But organizing Mrs. LaCroix and her friends to stand up to the gang had been cool, and not really dangerous; after all, who'd have the guts to shoot down a bunch of old folks in cold blood? And walking into Club Doom to get information for Jim hadn't been the least bit dangerous, despite Jim yelling at him; it was just a club for god's sake, a place for people to hang out and dance and drink.

So, really, it wasn't like he went looking to do cop-like things, and he sure as hell wasn't casual about the dangerous stuff. But, until Jim developed better control of his senses, he needed Blair's backup, a backup that no one else could provide. Sometimes the cop-like things were necessary, but his first priority was always Jim's senses. That term Brackett had used -- guide -- that felt right, made him feel important, kind of like he was part of this sentinel thing with Jim. But even if he wasn't really part of the sentinel stuff -- and sometimes it did sound like wistful thinking; they were Jim's senses, after all -- he was Jim's partner, no matter how much the big guy protested the term. And it was an unwritten, but consistent rule in every society he could think of -- a man did everything in his power to back up his partner, no ifs, ands, or buts.

So, yeah, he'd be the best partner -- and guide -- he could be, to the very best of his ability. And if it was dangerous sometimes, he'd keep his head down. But like Jim said, sometimes he just had to do what needed to be done. And then sometimes he'd freak out later, in private, but Jim didn't need to know that. But become a cop? Not in this lifetime!

Having settled that to his satisfaction, Blair looked up to find that Jim was parking the truck in front of the frat house. Okay, time to put this partner-thing into action again. He followed Jim to the front door.

But this time they were out of luck. None of the boys they wanted were on the premises, and no one seemed to know where they'd gone, when they'd left, when they'd be back, or even if they'd gone out together or individually.

Blair was sure he could hear Jim's teeth grinding together as they walked back to the truck. He waited till they were inside to ask, "Do you think they're there but hiding out?"

"I don't think so. The boys I talked to weren't lying; they really don't know where the others are. And the Agonestes kid is arrogant enough to face me; he's sure I won't be able to pin anything on him. He'd be in more danger by asking his frat brothers to lie for him -- they'd wonder why, and start speculating, and then it would hit the rumor-mill -- and he knows it."

"So now what?"

"It's a waiting game, Chief. His group -- whoever they are -- has to pretend everything is normal, so they'll keep to their regular habits. They'll be back; if I can't pick them up this afternoon, I'll try again tomorrow." He put the truck in gear and pulled into the street.

Blair frowned as he tried to figure out Jim's method. "So we just -- drive around for a couple of hours? Or go home and come back here later?"

"Neither. I think I'd like to talk to Ms. van Eisen again; do you know which dorm she lives in?"

"Yeah, I think she's in Bransfield dorm." Blair looked around to get his bearings. "Two blocks up and hang a left. But why? She told us everything last night."

"She told us everything about one particular incident. But if she's dating Agonestes's buddy, she may know something about their habits or hangouts, and I expect she'll be considerably more cooperative than his frat-brothers. You'd be surprised at the nuggets of information people don't know they know, until someone asks the right questions." Jim pulled into the visitors' parking lot in front of the dorm and shut off the engine.

The directory in the entryway read, 'van Eisen, Summer - 107'. A moment later, they were reading the note taped to the door.

Jim's voice held a note of surprise. "You let your students work on the dig without you there to supervise?"

Blair shrugged easily. "Sure. It's a minor site -- highly unlikely they'll find anything that hasn't been found dozens of times before in dozens of other places -- and I've checked everyone's technique; they know what to do and how to do it. At least here we have a time-frame; do we come back at five-thirty, or will you just question the boys cold?"

Jim frowned at the innocuous piece of paper, then pulled it off the door and sniffed carefully. "She's running, Chief," he said abruptly. "How far to this dig of yours?"

"Huh? About twenty miles. And what do you mean, 'running'?" Blair had to quicken his pace to keep up with Jim's long strides down the hall toward the front doors.

"The girl who wrote that note was -- or had been -- halfway between nervous and scared; her instincts were telling her to get out of Dodge. I need to know what information she has that kicked those instincts into gear, and the sooner the better; it could be the key we're looking for." Jim buckled his seatbelt and started the engine. "Which way?"

"Take a left on Stanton, then head east on Two-Forty-Six. We'll turn off about a mile before we get to Petersen's house."




They were old hands at this now. Desirée made the transfer to her roughneck chair, then settled the smaller bag of tools on her lap while Summer carried the larger tools and the lunch-cooler. They paused just long enough for Summer to put the cooler in the shade under the work-table, then headed toward the most recent trench. Barely eight inches deep, Desirée could easily reach the working area if she lay on her stomach and, if she wanted to sit in the trench to get even closer to her work, it was shallow enough that she could lift herself in and out with well-developed arm muscles.

Two hours passed peacefully as Summer and Desirée used garden trowels to scrape away one thin layer of dirt at a time, meanwhile discussing school, shopping, movies, books, future life plans, dreams -- anything except boys. They tossed the discarded dirt onto a plastic tarp they'd laid next to the trench. Whenever it developed a nice mound, Summer would gather up the four corners, sling it over her shoulder, and carry it to the big dirt pile that had been established outside the perimeter of the projected search area.

Summer finally sighed and sat up from her hunched position, stretching backward to work the kinks out of her spine. "Well, I'm about ready for lunch; how about you?"

"Okay," Desirée answered, "as soon as I finish this last little section." She inserted the side of the trowel a millimeter into the dirt, pulled forward -- and hit something solid.

Excitement swept aside all thoughts of lunch as they used delicate little probes to determine the size of the object, and miniature spoons to scoop away the dirt. A half-hour later, they had revealed a hand-sized piece of what seemed to be clay pottery. Summer ran to get the camera and an artifact box while Desirée lifted herself into her chair to get out of the way. Summer thrust the cotton-lined box into Desirée's hands, then took pictures of their find from every conceivable angle. Desirée watched in amusement; two establishing shots were customary, but her friend was forever trying to get that one perfect picture. Finally, Summer slung the camera over the handle behind Desirée's chair and delicately lifted the piece of pottery out of the dirt, placing it carefully on the cotton padding in the box while Desirée held it steady.

As they headed toward the work-table, Desirée realized that the excitement of their find had overshadowed something else -- her bladder was demanding relief. With a quick, "Gotta make a pit-stop," she headed into the trees, following the path to the Porta-Potty.

"Okay," Summer called to her retreating back. "I'll get started with the cataloguing."




Desirée had developed a technique for using the Porta-potty -- despite the hand-bars, they really weren't designed for people who had only marginal use of their legs -- but it wasn't exactly easy. She settled into her chair with a sigh of satisfaction; once again she had managed without falling on her tail and needing to call for help.

As she turned to head toward the work-table, she heard a sharp ~snap~ farther back in the trees. Maybe a deer foraging, or a porcupine scrambling over deadwood to reach some fresh bark? How cool that Summer had left the camera hanging on her chair; maybe Desirée could get some pictures. She twisted to grab the camera, settled the strap around her neck, and turned it on; if she actually found an animal, she'd probably have only a few seconds to point and shoot. Trying to choose a route that wouldn't take her over too many dead sticks, with their potential to snap loudly, Desirée rolled her chair forward as cautiously and quietly as she could. Luckily, there weren't many that she needed to avoid; the uniform spacing and age of the trees left few dead or dying branches to fall. Or maybe Mr. Petersen had gardeners who took care of this small artificial forest and kept it picked up. Whatever; Desirée was just grateful that the ground was covered mostly in a layer of old pine needles and moist, decaying leaves.

After several minutes' progress, it seemed evident that she wasn't going to find whatever animal she'd heard, but then there was a soft creaking noise off to her left. Probably just two branches rubbing together in the wind, but it might be the sound of an antler scraping along a branch, and she'd already come this far... Desirée turned and headed in the new direction.

A few more minutes' travel brought her in sight of -- a big hole in the ground, in the middle of a small area of no tree growth. Huh! It certainly didn't seem natural, and there were some wooden planks flattening the grass to one side; what on earth could it be? Animal photography forgotten, Desirée rolled forward to investigate.

She had covered about half the distance when a man's head appeared, moving smoothly upward as if climbing stairs. Desirée stopped abruptly, her common sense belatedly making itself heard. Somehow, this felt hinky, and if there was something illegal going on, this guy might be dangerous if he knew he'd been seen.

Fortunately, he was facing away from Desirée. She started rolling cautiously backwards; maybe she could move far enough that he wouldn't notice her, or maybe he'd keep heading in the other direction without turning.

No luck; maybe she'd unknowingly made a noise, or maybe he was just being paranoid, checking the area for intruders. The man turned his head, and Desirée had two new pieces of information: it was Kevin Agonestes, and when he saw her he wasn't pissed, or angry; he was completely and totally enraged.

"You BITCH!" he shouted, heading toward her with a murderous scowl on his face.

Desirée wasn't about to let him catch her; she turned her chair sharply and leaned forward to get as much speed as she could. In the long run, wheels were faster than legs; maybe she could keep ahead of him. But as she passed one of the trees, her left front wheel was stopped by a protruding root, hidden by the layer of dead leaves and pine needles. The sudden stop to her forward movement threw Desirée right out of her chair. She landed unhurt on the soft ground and rolled over to see Kevin closing the distance, and there were two other guys behind him. She searched frantically for some kind of protection -- a big, hefty stick would be nice -- but the ground here was just as unnaturally stick-free as it had been near the Porta-potty. "SUMMER!" she shouted.




Summer was immersed in their find, and unaware of time passing. Since starting the dig, she had discovered that she enjoyed the organizational details necessary for accurate archaeological record-keeping. Unfortunately, as she'd remarked ruefully to Dessie, it didn't carry over to keeping her room clean...

So, while she waited for Desirée to return, she grabbed the tape measure to make an accurate record of the depth at which their fragment had been found, then opened her laptop to write the description of their pottery shard. It was 26.5 by 9.8 centimeters, roughly oval-shaped. with remnants of black pigment from what had probably been a decorative design. Now that it wasn't shaded by the walls of the trench and could be seen in the sunlight, they'd need some closeup pictures. Summer looked for the camera, then remembered it was on the back of the wheelchair. No problem; Dessie should be back in a few minutes.

They'd need the meter stick for pictures, too, to make a standard comparison shot. Summer bent to the tools locker under the table, worked the combination of the padlock, and flipped up the lid. The meter stick was on top, a one-inch piece of PVC pipe, strengthened by a metal rod running through the center and marked with alternating bands of black and white.

She had just grabbed the stick when Summer heard Desirée's frantic shout. She surged up and out, ignoring the bump on her head as she clipped the edge of the table, and ran into the trees. But when she reached the Porta-potty, there was no sign of Desirée. Summer looked around in confusion; which way? Where might Dessie have gone, and why? Then the sound of distant shouts drifted through the trees, and she headed toward them at top speed.




"That's Desirée's van," Blair announced as Jim pulled into the parking area and stopped beside the red Dodge. He surveyed the area, bypassing the work table and focusing on the newest trench. "I don't see the girls, though; maybe they're taking a break under the trees. I'm sure --"

Jim stopped him with a raised hand as he opened the door for better listening. As he heightened his hearing -- what a useful image those 'dials' were -- he heard angry male voices, and the thud of swiftly-running feet. "There's trouble," he announced, jumping down from the truck and pulling his gun from its holster as he ran into the treeline. "Come on!"

Blair gaped -- what kind of trouble could there be out here? -- but didn't let his surprise slow him as he also jumped down and hurried to follow Jim. He gave a fleeting thought to calling for backup, but they wouldn't get here in time and, if he stopped to make the call, he'd lose Jim in the trees. Grimly aware that half-assed backup -- as in one enthusiastic but untrained anthropologist -- was better than no backup at all, he stretched his legs to keep Jim in sight.




"You fuckin' bitch, what the fuck are you doing here?!" Kevin yelled, face red with anger. "You just had to stick your nose in where it doesn't belong, didn't you? Too bad for you; I'm not gonna let you ruin everything."

He drew back a foot to aim a kick at Desirée. Desperately, frantically, she grabbed her fallen chair and drew it between herself and Kevin. It was a thin shield, at best, and Kevin ignored it, kicking out as if he could drive right through the fabric. Desirée thrust the chair forward; maybe she could knock him off balance. By sheer dumb luck -- hers, not his -- his foot impacted one of the metal supports. He howled in pain and rage, but didn't even pause; he wrenched the chair out of her hands and tossed it aside.

"Think you're so clever, you crippled bitch? I don't think so." Kevin pulled out a pocketknife and flicked open the blade. "I think you're gonna be real sorry you came snooping around." He grinned in satisfaction as Desirée's eyes widened and she tried to pull herself away, scooting backward under the trees, still searching for a stick, a rock, anything she could use for self-defense.

Then the other boys -- Brad and Nicky, she knew them, too, Desirée noted absently -- caught up with Kevin. Rescue? Probably not, if they'd been with Kevin. Desirée kept pulling herself backward as she kept an eye on him and, finally -- thank God! -- her hand landed on a stick, strong enough to whack his knees out from under him if he came close enough. She set her back against a tree-trunk, gripping the stick fiercely, and watched.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Brad had hold of Kevin's knife-arm and was yelling in his face. "You said even if we were found out, our parents wouldn't let us go to jail. But if you stick a knife in her, your ass is grass, and there's no way in hell I'm going down with you."

Kevin shoved Brad away, snarling, waving the knife wildly. "You want to join her? You think some crippled bitch is worth us going to jail?"

Nicky stood at a safe distance, eyes bugged out at the sight of the knife in his leader's hand. "Brad's right," he said urgently. "If we don't hurt her, they won't do anything to us; let's just calm down and think about this."

"I think you're a pair of pussy-whipped mama's boys," Kevin sneered. "I should've known you two'd be too soft if any trouble came up. I should've --"

A wild, inarticulate, howling screech cut him off as Summer burst into view. "Leave her ALONE!" she shouted, running toward Kevin, brandishing a long, black-and-white rod.

Startled, Brad and Nicky fell back while Kevin turned to face the new threat. He almost laughed; she was ten inches shorter than him, and waving a piece of plastic pipe. It was longer than his knife, sure, but PVC was light; even if she whacked him, it wouldn't do any damage. He braced himself, prepared to take it away from her and teach the bitch a lesson she'd never forget.

Summer was close enough; she set herself and swung at Kevin's head. But the pipe was unwieldy, and slower than her fencing rapier; he ducked behind an upraised arm, and the pipe impacted between his wrist and elbow. He cursed loudly as his arm dropped to the side, seemingly numb, and her eyes narrowed in satisfaction; obviously, he hadn't counted on the metal reinforcement hidden inside. She changed her grip and moved forward, keeping herself between him and Desirée, keeping him off balance with pokes to the chest, interspersed with downward slashes as she tried to knock the knife from his other hand.

But Summer wasn't able to land another good hit; her impromptu rapier was too unwieldy, and Kevin simply moved back from the poking, and managed to avoid the slashes aimed at his knife-hand. Then her foot landed on a fat pinecone, and her balance wavered, her pipe-sword shifting to the side. Immediately, Kevin's left hand, no longer numb, flashed out to grab the pipe, twisting it and wrenching it from Summer's grasp, flinging it to one side.

Shit! What could she do now? Summer backed up, panting heavily, eyes on the knife. Maybe she could circle around and grab the meter-stick again; it was better than nothing. She took a step sideways, wondering how long Kevin would wait before he attacked.

"Oh, you bitch," he breathed softly. "You are so going to get it now."

Summer took another step sideways as she heard Brad call urgently, "Kevin, you can't; it'd be murder!"

"That's right, Kevin; it'd be murder, and I'm here to prevent that. Cascade PD; drop the knife and put your hands behind your head."

Everyone stopped, stunned, and turned toward the voice. With an overwhelming wave of relief, Summer saw Professor Sandburg's cop-friend, looking all tall and official, and holding a gun pointed directly at Kevin. He was breathing heavily, but the gun never wavered, and Summer had never been so glad to see a cop in her life. The professor was standing a little behind and to the side of his friend. He was also breathing heavily, and he didn't have a gun, but he was a known, friendly face; just his presence gave her a feeling of safety. Thank God; it was over.

The release of adrenalin left her feeling weak-kneed. Summer made her way to Desirée's side and sank down beside her, throwing an arm around her shoulders, feeling Desirée's arm around her waist. Together they watched the professor's cop-friend put Kevin in handcuffs, heard him say, "Call it in, Chief. Tell 'em we need two black-and-whites, and give 'em directions how to get here." They listened to him recite the Miranda rights to the boys -- it was different than on TV -- and watched as he slid the knife into a plastic bag, and then opened two briefcases that the boys had dropped. Whatever was in there, the cop seemed satisfied, while Professor Sandburg looked at the boys with sorrow on his face.

They'd rest here just a little longer. Then Summer would fetch Desirée's chair and help her into it, and they could go home. In a little while...






Wednesday, 10/2/96

Blair was just hanging up the phone as Jim came down the stairs. "Isn't it a little early to be planning a hot date, Chief?" he asked, crossing to the kitchen to pour a mug of coffee.

"I think I know your problem, Jim. Turns out, most women prefer to be asked on a date with more than an hour's notice." Blair snorted as he reached into the oven to pull out the toasted bagels and carry them to the table. "But actually, I was inviting Desirée and Summer to lunch at the Grill-Tastic. Since they gave us the info that helped you catch those guys, I figure it's only fair to fill in the blanks and answer whatever questions they might have." He started to spread strawberry jam on his bagel. "Care to join us? You might need to make sure I don't spill any super-secret police information."

"You're right about that, Sandburg; you'd make a lousy spy. The way you run on, I think your mouth is always about two sentences ahead of your brain; state secrets would be lying all over the floor before you even noticed. But in this case, I really --" Jim paused, abruptly noticing the entreaty in Blair's eyes; for some reason, this was important to him. "-- don't think you should be let out without a keeper," he continued smoothly. "I'd hate to have pull you in on charges of high treason."

"Thanks; I appreciate it." Blair shoved the jam-jar in Jim's direction, and bit off a large piece of bagel, avoiding Jim's eyes.

Jim suspected he knew Blair's problem. "The girls are okay, Chief," he said gently. "Their statements were clear and concise, they had no trouble picking the boys out of a lineup, and they have us as witnesses that the Agonestes kid really did threaten them with a knife. They're done with it until the trial starts, and that'll be months away."

"I know." Blair regarded Jim soberly. "It's just that... well, I guess I want to make sure they have closure. Neither of them have family here. I can offer to talk if they need it, but I'm like... 'ordinary everyday', y'know? I think it'd be more reassuring to have closure from a real cop. And it doesn't hurt if it just happens to be the hero that came charging to their rescue." His eyes twinkled as he picked up his coffee, watching Jim's face turn a faint shade of pink.

It was Jim's turn to snort. "On my dashing white charger, I suppose? I'm not Lancelot, and just doing my job doesn't make me a hero."

"Jim, you saved them from a guy who was out of control; as you say, 'armed and dangerous'. If you hadn't been there, they'd have been badly hurt -- or worse -- and they know it. You're their hero, whether or not you want to be. But if it's any consolation, it probably won't last long." Blair grinned at the hopeful look on Jim's face. "They're young; it'll probably wear off in a couple of weeks."

"I'll hold you to that, Sandburg." Jim carried his dishes to the sink and ran them under hot water. "What time?"

"I told 'em twelve-thirty."

"I'll be there... unless our esteemed captain has an urgent case that he can't spare me from."

"Good point. I think I'll call Simon, and tell him no new cases for you until after one-thirty."

"You'll tell him?" Jim chuckled as he strapped on his gun. "You might want to rethink that. If you give Simon apoplexy, the new captain might pull your ride-along pass."

Blair shook his head sadly as he shouldered his backpack and followed Jim out the door. "Man, you should have more faith in my powers of persuasion. But I suppose you're right; I'll try to go easy on Simon. Too much yelling will damage his vocal cords and my hearing, and neither one of us needs that."




Desirée had purposely pushed Summer into arriving at the Grill-Tastic a little early; it would be embarrassing for both of them if she had to drag her friend across the floor to a table where the professor and his friend were already sitting. This way, all she had to do was keep Summer from bolting when the two men arrived.

They were still looking over their menus when Desirée looked up to see the cop -- Detective Ellison, she remembered -- approaching between the tables, with Professor Sandburg right behind. Desirée watched appreciatively. He was as good-looking as the professor, she decided; tall and built and buff, with a quiet strength behind his eyes. But kind of old, probably pushing forty. Not someone to get interested in, she decided with an internal sigh.

The men sat down and looked over their menus, followed by a flurry of ordering, with Desirée and Summer declaring they could buy their own lunches, and Professor Sandburg insisting it was his treat. Detective Ellison didn't seem to mind the professor taking over, though Desirée was sure she noticed a glint of amusement in his eyes.

Then an awkward silence fell. Desirée wasn't quite certain why the professor had invited them to lunch, and he didn't seem to know how to start. Summer wouldn't say anything unless asked, and the detective was still watching the professor with that smile in his eyes. But if someone didn't start, they'd still be sitting in silence when lunch was over.

"So, Detective Ellison," Desirée said brightly, "was all the loot in those two cases, or are you still looking for some more?"

Detective Ellison flashed a killer smile as he relaxed in his chair.

"First, ladies, we're very informal here, and I know Sandburg prefers not to be 'professor'," he said, trying to put them at ease. "So how about we all stick to first names? And to answer your question, we got lucky; all the loot is there, and none of it damaged," he assured them. "And, again, the Cascade PD is very grateful that you came forward with the information that let us break the case."

"I'm just glad you showed up when you did," Summer said, fervently. "A month of fencing lessons sure doesn't make someone expert in a fight, and a plastic pipe makes a lousy sword. What was I thinking?"

"You were thinking a friend was in danger and you could help," Blair said gently. "And you kept your head and used what you had available. As someone told me recently," he flashed a smile at Jim, "you have good instincts, and you did what you had to do. You can't expect more than that."

"But it was mostly just self-preservation!" she protested. "I wasn't even very good at it."

"Good enough to keep that asshole monster away from me until Jim and Blair showed up," Desirée declared loyally. "I, for one, really appreciate that. And you did pretty good for not having a real sword."

"It never occurred to me that those meter-sticks are hefty enough to make a good weapon," Blair said, "but I salute your creativity."

"Not like you haven't shown a bit of that yourself, Chief," Jim teased. "But what made you bring it along, Summer? In your statement, you said that you simply thought Desirée had fallen down."

Summer shrugged, embarrassed. "I was getting it out of the toolbox when Dessie shouted, and I just ran. I didn't even realize I had it, till I needed something to hit him with."

The waitress served their food, and conversation languished for a short time. After a few minutes, Desirée remarked, "I wasn't totally surprised about Kevin; we always knew he was a sleazy asshole. But it really pissed me off that Brad didn't try harder to stop him; he just let Kevin boss him around, even when he was threatening to... kill me," she finished, not quite steadily.

"Breaking out of the status quo isn't as easy as TV makes it look," Blair explained. "Brad was used to following Kevin's lead, and facing a wild-eyed man with a knife -- even if he's a friend -- is a scary thing. At least he did try. That extra thirty seconds gave Summer time to get to you, and us time to get to her."

"Well, I hoped I was a better judge of character than that," Summer complained. "I didn't want to date someone just because he had a pretty face. I thought he was a nice guy, and he turned out to be such a schmuck."

Desirée almost choked over her soda. "A schmuck? You're not Jewish!"

"Well... it's what he is!" Summer declared. "At least I never let on how much I liked him, so he won't be able to gloat about how he led me on." Her downcast expression suggested that she didn't take much comfort in that fact.

"We all get fooled once in awhile," Blair hastened to assure her, "even the best of us. Not even the police are infallible."

Jim caught his meaningful look and hastily cleared his throat. "Yes, we all make mistakes. The point is, we pick ourselves up, learn from them and move on."

"And Brad's just one guy," Desirée reminded her. "Don't you remember what you told Vanessa when Tommy dumped her? You said, 'boys come and go, but the only thing you need for real fulfillment in life is one good friend'. It's true, you know; you've got me and I've got you; it doesn't get any better than that, right?" She reached out to clasp Summer's hand.

"You're absolutely right, ladies," Jim agreed, catching Blair's eyes with a slight smile. "One good friend; it doesn't get any better than that."



The End




Author's Notes

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Title: Byrd's-Eye View
Summary: A new detective is introduced to Major Crimes.
Style: Gen
Size: 5,640 words, about 12 pages
Warnings: None
Notes: Written March, 2007, for Sentinel Secrets challenge.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every one is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a comment that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Byrd's-Eye View

by StarWatcher





"One last thing," Captain Simon Banks announced before he brought the Major Crimes' weekly staff meeting to a close. "Tomorrow morning, a Ms. Jolie Byrd will be joining us from Wenatchee. She was--"

"Where?" Megan asked.

"About two hundred miles southeast, on the Columbia River; look it up." Banks sounded testy at the interruption.

"So what brings her here?" Henri chimed in.

"I don't know, detective. Use your skills to find out. Now, as I was saying, Ms. Byrd was their lead detective, and comes highly recommended. I intend to have her work one week with each team, so she can get a feel for who we are and how we handle crime in the big city. I expect you all," he swept the group with an awe-inspiring glare that intimidated no one, "to be on your best behavior. Let her get used to us before you start in with your normal shenanigans."

"Shenanigans?" Blair affected wounded outrage. "Captain, you malign our reputations. Individually and as a unit, Major Crimes is the--"

"-- biggest group of ten-year-old clowns it has ever been my misfortune to work with," Simon finished for him. "However, you're a damned talented bunch of clowns, and your reputation as the best unit of detectives in the state is well-earned." He paused to let the self-congratulatory smiles sweep among the group. "All I'm asking is that you keep the antics low-key for a few weeks; give Ms. Byrd a chance to toughen up before hitting her with both barrels. If we want more people to share the load, we have to make sure they don't run away after just three days. H? No practical jokes. Connor? Remember you're no longer in New South Wales. And Ellison? No... growling," he concluded lamely, uneasily aware that he could neither enforce nor explain a directive of 'no zoning'.

"All right people," Simon barked, releasing the group, "you have criminals to catch, and sitting here won't help solve cases. Get out of here and get to work!"




"Oh, Blair!" Rhonda called as the young man breezed through the door. "Jim said he thinks he overlooked something at the McMasters' crime scene. He went out to check it, and he wants you to meet him there as soon as you can."

"What?!" Blair stopped short. "He knows better than to tackle a crime scene without me! With Jim's luck, he'll..." Glancing at the pretty, dark-haired woman who was sitting in front of Rhonda's desk, Blair continued, "...end up chasing the perps without backup, as usual. Why didn't he call me? I could've met him there."

"He tried," Rhonda told him. "Maybe your battery is dead?"

Blair yanked out his cellphone, and discovered that the readout screen was indeed blank. "Oh, hell, yeah," he sighed. "Okay, thanks Rhonda. If Jim calls, tell him I'm on my way."

He threw a quick glance at the stranger who'd been chatting with the secretary. "Are you Jolie Byrd? Welcome aboard. Sorry I gotta run, but I look forward to talking with you later." With a quick wave, he was out the doors, seeming to leave a sentence hanging in the air behind him.

"What was that?" Jolie asked, a scowl creating a vertical line between her green eyes. "And what zoo did it escape from?"

Rhonda stared for a second, slightly shocked. Even though not everyone in the police department was friendly toward Blair, at least they knew enough not to bad-mouth him around the members of Major Crime. Blair was such a charmer, Rhonda hadn't expected a negative reaction from another woman. Jolie must be one of those who thought they had to 'out-guy' the guys, who worked at being harder, tougher, meaner, and more cynical than any three men put together. If she turned that attitude toward Blair, the whole of Major Crime would close ranks against her; her stay would be short, but unpleasant for all concerned. Maybe a word to the wise would be sufficient.

"'That' was Blair Sandburg, our resident anthropologist and Jim Ellison's partner. He's extremely intelligent, very friendly, very capable, and extremely well-liked."

"How did an anthropologist get to be a cop?"

"He's not a cop; he's a grad student at Rainier who's riding along with Ellison while he does a study about the police department for his dissertation. But that's beside the point; he's as loyal to his partner as any cop on the force. You should get to know him before you make any judgments. In the meantime, remember what your grandmother probably told you -- 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all'."

Jolie appeared unconvinced. "And your captain lets him get away with looking like a hippie reject?"

Her caustic tone irritated Rhonda, who just now realized that maybe Jim Ellison's frequently-clenched jaw helped prevent him giving in to the urge to commit mayhem; she might have to try it herself. In the meantime, she drew in a deep, calming breath before she explained, "Haven't you ever heard that you can't judge a book by its cover? Blair's long hair and flannel layers don't change the effectiveness of his contributions to his partner and the whole department. And he IS a civilian; there's absolutely no reason he has to look like he just graduated from the Academy."

"Sounds unprofessional to me," Jolie muttered. "But I suppose I can ignore him for a couple of weeks till his ride-along's finished."

"And then there's the old saying about not jumping to conclusions. Blair's been riding along with Jim for about eighteen months, now, and no one in Major Crimes would object if it turned into eighteen years." Rhonda allowed a bit of 'caustic' to enter her own voice; what kind of detective needed a two-by-four across the head instead of taking a hint? She stood, and her voice was cooler as she said, "If you'll follow me, I'll take you to meet Captain Banks, now." Maybe he could straighten out this new detective.




"Come in, Detective Byrd; have a seat." Simon waited until she was settled in the comfortable chair, then opened the folder in front of him. "You have an excellent service record, and Captain Brunson gave you a glowing recommendation; he said he was sorry to see you go. So, why do you want to transfer to Cascade, and specifically to Major Crimes?"

Now that she was operating within expected parameters, Jolie relaxed. She tried to project 'capable' and 'sincere' as she answered, "I have family here. My mom and dad are developing some health issues, and I want to be close by if I need to help out. And, frankly, my job in Wenatchee was getting routine; I think I'll enjoy the challenge of working in Major Crimes."

"We could use the help," Simon admitted. "Sometimes it seems like Cascade is becoming the crime capital of the western seaboard. Which means that it'll be a bit of a culture shock from what you're used to, and of course, we probably do things different from how you did them in Wenatchee. Accordingly, I've assigned you to ride one week with each pair of detectives. After that's finished, we'll see about assigning you a permanent partner."

"Thank you, sir; I appreciate the opportunity to get to know everyone," Jolie replied diplomatically. "I am wondering, though, about -- I think his name is Blair Sandburg? Your secretary told me he's not a cop, so what's the department's official position? And will he be part of one of the teams I work with?"

"Sandburg's official position." Simon leaned back in his chair, rolling a cigar between his fingers. "Good question. 'Officially', his position is tenuous; he doesn't carry a gun and he certainly can't make arrests. But he's one of the smartest men I know. Half the time, his esoteric anthropological ramblings go right over my head. BUT, the arcane knowledge he spouts has given us insights that developed into leads that helped us close over a dozen difficult cases. Ellison was a good detective before Sandburg joined him -- Cop of the Year, last year -- but his closure rate has jumped twelve and a half percent since he hooked up with the kid.

"And Sandburg's not stingy with his input; he's interested in everything and everybody, and the closure rate for everyone else who's not his partner has increased almost eight percent." Simon chuckled, unaware of the fond look on his face, which his new detective noted with some misgivings. "I admit, he can drive me crazy; besides being able to talk the hind leg off a mule, he tends to jump into a situation first, then look for a way out. But he does it for the right reasons -- the good of his partner first, and the good of anyone nearby; he can't stand to see an innocent person hurt, and he thinks everyone is innocent."

"But doesn't his 'look' send the wrong message?" Jolie asked. Privately, she thought the captain and his secretary might be 'protesting too much'; the flaky hippie she'd seen couldn't be that good. "How can he get any respect with the image he projects?"

Simon chuckled again. "He argues that it works in his favor; since he doesn't look like a cop, victims and witnesses are more inclined to open up to him. And I guess you haven't seen Henri Brown, yet; there's not a lot of difference in degree of 'professionalism' between loud Hawaiian print shirts or flannel layers. Basically, Blair Sandburg is a positive force in my department, and I'd be a fool to ignore that." He winked, inviting his new detective to share a joke. "Don't tell him I said that; I don't want him to get a swelled head.

"But you'll see for yourself in a couple of weeks, when you ride with Ellison and Sandburg. I'm assigning you to Joel Taggart and Megan Connor first. Besides you, Connor is our only female detective; I thought you might appreciate her viewpoint on working in Major Crimes."

Jolie stood, realizing the interview was over. "Thank you, sir. I look forward to working with your people." She nodded formally, and exited the office.




"So, Byrdie, what do you think of Cascade and Major Crimes so far?" Megan slid into the front seat of Joel's big sedan, smiling with frank appraisal at the woman beside her.

"Megan, there's no need to tack the 'e' sound onto 'Byrd'," Joel replied from Jolie's other side, his reproof gentle, but firm. "It can sound... childish, which is hardly fair to a fellow detective.'

Megan flashed her broad Aussie smile. "Guilty," she acknowledged, without a trace of conviction. "But I think it's 'friendly' instead of 'childish'. Two syllables roll off the tongue easier than one -- Joel, Megan, Sandy, Byrdie..."

"Rafe, H, Dills," Joel countered as he pulled out into the traffic, "none of which need two syllables."

Megan shrugged. "Those wouldn't feel right. Ask Sandy; I'm sure he can explain it."

"Sandy?" Jolie asked. "Captain Banks mentioned those other names, but I don't recall that one. Is she one of the secretaries?"

"The rest of us know the man as 'Blair' or 'Sandburg'," Joel explained. "Megan tagged him with the nickname her first day here -- before she'd even left the airport, in fact. None of us can decide if snap nicknames are a 'Megan' thing or an 'Australian' thing, but whoever does will collect a fifty-dollar betting pool."

Megan shook her head as she winked at Jolie. "That's a man, for you. It never occurs to them to ask the closest person we have to an expert -- and Sandy could use the money for books."

"You're talking about that longhaired scatterbrain who's not even a cop, right? Civilians don't belong in the middle of a police department; what makes him so special?" Jolie was beginning to feel a bit hostile toward the young man that she'd seen for all of thirty seconds; she'd never liked 'fair-haired boys', regardless of coloring or gender.

"I think it's camouflage," Joel said. "Blair is so smart that a lot of people might be uncomfortable around him if they realized it, so he kind of keeps it undercover. And he's not 'scatterbrained', exactly; he just has so many ideas bubbling up that sometimes they fall all over the place. But even without that, we'd want him around because he's our only competent 'Ellison-tamer'." He heard Megan's snort, and tossed a wink in her direction.

Megan continued the explanation. "I didn't know Ellison before Sandy became his partner, but he had quite a reputation -- surly and antagonistic, with the worst attributes of lone wolf and loose cannon. That all changed when Sandy came on board... well, not all changed, but at least Ellison acts human now, most of the time. What I think is..." her voice dropped to a confidential murmur, "Sandy helps Ellison control his psychic abilities."

Jolie's jaw dropped. "You're kidding!" she exclaimed, at the same time Joel thundered, "MEGAN!"

Joel took a deep breath. "You shouldn't spread unsubstantiated rumors," he admonished his partner. He moderated his voice as he glanced at Jolie. "And you shouldn't listen to such claptrap. Jim Ellison is an excellent detective because he keeps up with all the latest innovations, and he's able to integrate them into his working methods. And Blair helps out with insights and conclusions that come to him from his background in anthropology. It's not necessary to suggest 'psychic abilities' to explain what they do."

"I've seen it," Megan argued. "Right in front of me, he divined the address that belonged to a burned key. But I've worked with other psychics in Australia, and controlling the gift can be a bloody pain. Somehow, Sandy helps Jim control the gift, or helps him be more consistent. Something like that. It can't be explained -- just accepted." She turned to the woman beside her and said, "But we keep it a secret within the department; Ellison doesn't want outsiders laughing at him or hounding him. So, mum's the word, right?"

"I should hope 'mum's the word'!" Joel sounded uncharacteristically grouchy. "Can you imagine Ellison dealing with reporters in his face, asking him to bend spoons and predict the next Kentucky Derby winner? He'd head for the hills, with Blair right behind him, and Major Crimes would be the poorer for it."

Jolie was rearranging the puzzle pieces. "So, Ellison brought Sandburg into the department, and the only reason Sandburg stays is because Ellison needs him, somehow?" Both Joel and Megan gave confirming nods. "Are they lovers?" Jolie asked, abruptly.

Joel chuckled softly while Megan hooted her amusement. "Not bloody likely!" she gasped. "No one would be surprised if Sandy swung both ways, but Ellison has a poker up his arse; he couldn't bend over and nothing else would fit in there, anyway. They only act like a married couple."

"They're brothers of the heart," Joel explained softly, while Megan nodded agreement. "Each of them fills an empty space for the other, and gives him roots. Friendship like that is to be treasured; to suggest that it couldn't exist without a sexual component cheapens it.

"But," he shrugged easily, "no one in Major Crimes would be terribly surprised if we found out differently. And if we ever do, someone will have a nice little windfall; the betting pool's up to six-fifty, the last I heard."




"Chief, I've been getting a sort of 'early alert warning' from Detective Byrd," Jim said as they drove toward the PD one warm, sunny morning. "She's disinclined to like or trust you, and since I hang out with you, she's doubtful about my competence as well. She could cause trouble."

Blair lifted a careless shoulder. "What's the diff, man? Coworkers don't have to like each other to maintain a professional attitude while working together. Besides, I haven't even turned on the Sandburg charm yet; chances are she'll fall for me like a skier in an avalanche."

"Sure she will; you and Casanova are blood-brothers, right? Dream on, MacDuff."

"Hey, it could happen!" Blair protested. "But that doesn't matter; I'm more concerned about her noticing if you use your senses at sentinel levels."

It was Jim's turn to shrug. "I'll be careful, but it shouldn't matter; no one else even suspects, even after all this time."

"Megan does; she just came up with a different explanation. And I think she noticed because she didn't know you before, and the same thing could happen with Jolie."

"You're losin' me, Chief; care to explain?"

"After people know us for awhile, they stop paying attention. If they have us filed under 'known entity', anything we do automatically becomes part of 'known entity' in their minds. It doesn't matter if they can't exactly explain everything they see us do, because as far as they're concerned, their friends are, by definition, 'normal'. So clues you find by using your senses happen simply because you're an 'amazing detective', or 'really sharp' -- like how Joel thinks the rest of Major Crimes could do what you do, if they just took the right courses.

"Conversely, a new person is trying to build a picture to place in the 'known entity' file, so he -- or, in this case, she -- is tabulating and analyzing our actions and behaviors to fill in the blanks. If we do something outside of normal human parameters, it's remembered, and our new person looks more closely for unusual behaviors, trying to decide whether it was an aberration, or part of the pattern."

Jim grunted with mild frustration. "I hear what you're saying, Chief, but I don't know what to do about it. I can't tell where the limits of 'normal' are, anymore. If I see something or hear something, I have no markers to indicate I'm operating at twice normal, or three times normal, or whatever."

"Yeah, and trying to keep the dials at a set point doesn't work. I've noticed, as soon as something goes down, your senses crank up automatically, to give you the information you need. Which makes sense -- if you didn't have that instinctive reaction, your responses would be too slow to be useful." Blair chewed a hangnail as he considered the problem. "I guess I'll have to turn off the Sandburg charm and turn on the hippie-dippie, fast-talking, geek-boy nerd persona. With any luck, Joli'll be so caught up in her irritation with me that she won't even notice you."

"Well, at least your fast-talking nerd persona isn't a stretch; it's so natural, you'll be able to keep it up indefinitely. And no one in Major Crimes will even notice it, so it's the perfect cover."

"Up yours," Blair replied without heat. "It's too bad; it's a lot more comfortable to be on good terms with one's coworkers. But maybe later I can tone it down and convince her that I've started to 'mature', and change her mind about me."

"Or you could make the supreme sacrifice and avoid hitting on one woman in the entire Cascade Police Department," Jim chuckled.

"Just because you can't get a girl, Ellison, doesn't mean the rest of us are required to limit ourselves. But if you behave yourself, I'll find out if Jolie has a friend that might suit you."

"Two years from now, when she finally deigns to talk to you?"

"Yeah, well, there is that."




After a morning of following up clues that forensics had given them, Henri and Rafe treated Jolie to lunch at 'Mama Beth's Diner'. "Best home-style cookin' this side of your own mama's kitchen," Henri assured her as they sat down. "Even GQ Rafe, here, doesn't turn up his nose at it."

Jolie chuckled and perused the menu. After placing her order of meatloaf, mashed potatoes and corn on the cob, she regarded the men across from her. Captain Banks might be right, she thought; there wasn't a lot to choose in sartorial splendor between Hawaiian print or flannel plaid. And, next to Rafe's tailored suit, Henri's loud colors were even more glaring.

"I bet everyone has asked you this, but I never claimed to be original," Henri said. "So, what do you think about Major Crimes now that you've been with us a few weeks?"

"I'm impressed," she admitted. "Major Crimes seems to be a very tight unit, and you all work well together. But I'm a bit surprised at how well some of the teams mesh. On the surface, for example, you and Detective Rafe have as much in common as oil and water. But your closure stats are very impressive, and that doesn't happen when teammates don't get along."

Rafe raised his water glass and saluted Henri. "Oh, H is definitely a diamond in the rough," he said after taking a sip and lowering the glass. "But the point is, he is a diamond. I estimate that, with ten or fifteen years of diligent effort, I'll have him suitably polished, and then people won't be surprised at how competent he is."

"And in the same ten or fifteen years, I'll have Rafe loosened up enough that people will be able to see the human being inside the starched shirt. That's my boy," Henri quipped, "a definite work in progress."

"But doesn't it bother you to have a civilian as part of the group?" Jolie asked. "I'd think it would be a bit... constricting, always having to explain or argue about procedure."

"You mean Hairboy? Nah, he's a cop in all but name. Hell, he even does half of Ellison's paperwork; handy kid to have around."

"I think it's because he's an anthropologist," Rafe suggested. "He's used to understanding different cultures, and doesn't argue about them, just accepts them and does his best to fit in."

"But if Sandburg won't carry a gun, isn't Ellison at a disadvantage, having a partner that can't back him up?"

Rafe shook his head while Henri laughed outright. "Hairboy doesn't need a gun; if he can't talk his way out of trouble, he can turn any object into a weapon. He's used vending machines, baseballs..."

"...A fire-hose, a walking stick, a crane..."

"Basically, Hairboy will back Ellison up no matter what it takes. He's making a real name for himself. Once he finishes his dissertation, we'll be sorry to see him go."

"Not least because somebody else will get stuck with partnering Ellison, and nobody can handle him as well as Sandburg does," Rafe concluded.

Jolie stabbed a piece of meatloaf and chewed angrily. "But why? I don't care how smart and talented Sandburg is, he's still a civilian, with limitations in how much and how well he can help a real cop. Why does Ellison let him keep hanging around?"

Henri and Rafe glanced at each other, exchanging unspoken question and answer. Finally, Rafe leaned forward and said softly, "Jim's got something special. We don't know what it is, or how it works, and we don't rock the boat with nosy questions. But he knows things, or finds things, somehow -- and Blair is a big part of that."

"I was part of the 'Switchman' investigation," Henri said. "Before Hairboy showed up, Ellison was about to self-destruct. After Hairboy, things changed, and Ellison was able to manage -- whatever-it-is -- ten times more effectively."

"Megan thinks he's psychic," Jolie murmured.

Henri shrugged, and Rafe shook his head. "It seems a bit far-fetched, but something's going on," Rafe agreed. "As I said, we don't ask questions. Whatever it is, it works, and that's all we need to know. After all, when it comes to catching the bad guys, all we care about is that the job gets done."

"And if Hairboy helps us do that, we don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

Jolie nodded and finished her meal in silence, chewing over the information as she chewed her lemon layer cake.




Blair reached the PD shortly before noon. He and Jim had planned to have lunch together, then spend the afternoon tracking down witnesses and interviewing them. As he stepped into the elevator, Blair saw the new detective approaching from down the hall, and held the doors open. When she visibly hesitated, staring at Blair with narrowed eyes, he unleashed his most winsome smile. "Ah, com'on, Detective Byrd; I don't bite, and I showered this morning -- no BO. Surely you can stand to be in my presence for the two minutes it'll take to get up to Major Crimes?"

Jolie gave a noncommittal nod and stepped into the elevator without speaking... but Blair was almost certain he'd seen a tiny flash of amusement in her eyes. Encouraged, he rambled on. "Of course, for me, elevators fall under the heading of 'dangerous transportation, proceed at your own risk'. But I figure here at the PD is pretty safe -- unless the Sunrise Patriots show up again. On the other hand, they prefer threatening with guns instead of --" Abruptly, the elevator car shuddered to a halt while a loud warning buzzer assaulted their ears.

"Oh, man, you have got to be kidding me!" Blair exclaimed after the buzzer went silent. "What kind of karma do I have to have for this to happen to me twice?"

Jolie stared at him, then glanced around the tiny compartment. "Twice? Must be bad karma; maybe you were a jailer during the Spanish Inquisition."

Blair nodded. "You may be right; I'll have to do some meditation, see if I can cleanse my aura. Meanwhile, let's see if maintenance is on top of this."

He picked up the emergency phone and pushed the big red button. "Hello? . . . Yeah, we have two people here, and our elevator stopped moving. What's going on?" He listened to the voice that offered not-so-reassuring platitudes. "Well, we're not going anywhere, but make it as soon as you can, okay? In the meantime, call up to Major Crimes and tell them where we are -- Detective Jolie Byrd, and Civilian Observer Blair Sandburg. Ya' got that? . . . Okay, thanks."

Blair hung up the phone with a sigh and turned to Jolie. "Well, that sucks. The cable has frozen for reasons unknown. They're working on it, but it might take an hour before they get it fixed. No sense standing around all that time; might as well have a seat." He bowed and grandly waved Jolie toward a nonexistent easy chair, then crossed his legs and sank down to the floor.

Jolie followed suit, staring now with more curiosity than suspicion. "So, what happened the last time?" she asked.

"Oh, man, it was a nightmare! Some over-intellectual idiot with delusions of grandeur thought he'd rob the bullion exchange at Wilkerson Towers. He hijacked an elevator with me and three other people and a bomb in it as a diversion. Every once in awhile he'd drop it a few floors, and kept threatening to drop it all the way if he didn't get his ransom. At least this time, the waiting will be a lot less exciting. When it comes to elevators, I don't mind 'boring'."

Joli settled herself more comfortably; if the hippie could talk 'cop-shop', he might not be so bad after all. "I know what you mean. I'm always amazed at the methods the perps will use to try to force an issue. We had one guy last year, put steel plates -- bullet-proofing -- in the side and back windows of a bulldozer and threatened to destroy the power station and wipe out electricity for the whole town. But with the windows blocked, he couldn't see around him. While the negotiator kept him talking, we sneaked in from behind and under, and siphoned out the gas. When he got frustrated and tried to 'attack', he didn't get more than fifty feet before the 'dozer wouldn't move anymore. Then we just waited him out; eventually he surrendered without a shot fired."

"Great tactics," Blair said. "I think the average citizen is more inclined to trust the police when they see potentially dangerous situations handled without gunfire. If they know shooting is a last resort, they'll have more confidence in calling the police when they need them."

"Rhonda said you're doing your dissertation on the police department; is that part of it?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm trying to examine the police subculture, and how they function as a type of tribal guardians -- sort of Sentinels of the City."

As Blair waxed enthusiastic about the men and women he'd learned to know and admire, Jolie shared several experiences she'd heard about or participated in. Blair soon pulled a pad of paper out of his backpack and started making notes -- he might be able to use some of these ideas to help Jim expand his senses. Time passed unnoticed until a loud CLANG interrupted them, and the phone rang. Jolie reached it first.

"Yes? . . . Thanks; we'll be ready." She turned to Blair. "There's some technical glitch that they can't fix, so they've hauled a secondary winch up to the floor above us. They'll hook onto the cable and lower us to the floor below, then pry open the doors to let us out."

"Sounds good," Blair breathed. "I was gettin' tired of hanging around. Not that I have anything against the company!" he finished hurriedly.

"You're not so bad yourself, Sandburg. I might even classify you as -- tolerable." Jolie winked, with a half-grin.

"That's me -- satisfactory Sandburg. I aim to please."

The doors opened and, with another grandiose bow, he motioned her forward. They exited onto the fourth floor and looked around.

"Three more floors," Blair observed. "Stairs?"

"Stairs," Jolie agreed, leading the way.




Jim slipped out of the truck and took cover behind a rusted-out van, Blair and Jolie following close at his heels. He drew his gun and nodded toward the seemingly-abandoned warehouse in front of them. "I saw one guy pass a window; it makes sense that the others are with him. Byrd, you cover the front; I'll go around to the back."

Jolie could see the main door easily, but the windows were small, and high on the walls. "How could you see anything from here?"

"He's very long-sighted; one of the reasons he was picked for Special Ops," Blair said.

"Right," Jim agreed. "Sandburg, you stay here and stay down."

"No way, man; you need me!" Blair insisted.

"Sandburg--"

"You wanna argue, or you wanna take those guys out?"

"All right. But stay behind me and keep your head down!"

Jolie watched as Ellison traveled a circuitous route to the back of the warehouse, keeping to cover to avoid detection, with Sandburg a single step behind. While she waited for Ellison to make his move, she rewound some mental images, and examined them closely. Sandburg was even more ubiquitous than she had expected -- always near Ellison, and always touching or being touched. Come to think of it, Sandburg had had a hand on Ellison's arm as the detective examined the warehouse -- and anybody who was that long-sighted wouldn't be able to read a simple newspaper...

Her grandmother had told her stories from the old country, passed on from her grandmother, and her grandmother before her. Jolie had always enjoyed the tales, but classified them as no more realistic than sprites or pixies. Could it be...?

At the sound of shots, she rushed forward. The two men who ran out the main door were unarmed; faced with a gun held in a determined hand, they followed directions to lie flat with their hands behind their heads. Jolie waited, somehow very sure that Ellison -- and Sandburg -- had the situation well in hand.




As they watched the last of the black-and-whites carry the seven perps away, Jolie gave in to her curiosity. "So, if the last two were hiding so well, how did you find them?"

"I'm a detective; I put two and two together."

"Yeah, Jim's got great instincts, and he's learned not to ignore them."

"Instincts and... something else?" Jolie asked quietly. "My ancestors come from the Isle of Mann, and my grandmother told me stories of the arreyeder and his cumraag. That would translate as 'sentinel', I think -- or maybe 'guardian' -- and 'companion'. That's just amazing!"

"That's just a kiddie fairytale," Jim growled. "You should have outgrown it years ago."

"Yeah," Blair agreed. "Jim's one of the best; he doesn't need to be this 'arreyeder' to do his job.

"Doesn't need to be, but he is. And now I know why he lets you hang around. The cumraag never leaves the side of his arreyeder."

Jim clenched his jaw and stared at the upstart in front of him, while Blair reached desperately for a logical explanation. "No, really, he's not that -- we're not that -- it's just... just..."

"Just a very important secret, and you can be sure I'll keep it." Jolie smiled her understanding. "We've left the small tribal units too far behind for you to be open about your abilities; you wouldn't be able to do your job if the media -- or all the perps running loose -- knew about them. I promise, I'll never let it slip. But I'll be honored to work alongside you -- both of you."




"So, detective Byrd, you've been with us for a month." Captain Banks leaned back in his chair to observe his newest recruit. "Everyone you've worked with has given you high marks; they approve of your skills, your professionalism, and your attitude. I think you'll fit in very well here, and I look forward to making you part of the team. But how do you feel about it?"

"I'm grateful Captain. You have good people, and I can't imagine a better team to join. I accept; I look forward to working with all of them, and I think I'll fit in very well, here. Thank you."

He stood and offered her his hand. "Well then, Detective Byrd, welcome to Major Crime."



The End



arreyeder (ah-rayeh-der)

cumraag (koom-raeg)


Author's Notes

Back to Title List



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Title: It's About Friendship
Summary: Christmas + Friendship
Style: Gen
Size: 15,750 words, about 32 pages in MS Word
Warnings: None
Notes: Written for Secret Santa 06 -- "Would really like to see Jim do something nice for Blair, that surprises Blair, and pleases him. Happy ending, and possibly a little h/c."
I guessed the recipient -- Merry Christmas, Arianna!
Feedback: Not necessary, but every one is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a comment that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





It's About Friendship

by StarWatcher





Mid-September

As soon as the after-dinner cleanup was finished, Blair pulled out his laptop and a notepad. In just a few minutes, he was busily surfing the 'Net, pausing occasionally to scribble notes on the yellow pad beside him.

Seems like the kid hits the ground running every semester, Jim thought, absurdly smug that he didn't have any 'homework' hanging over his head. All of his cases were going well, and he had only a handful unresolved; maybe all the criminals were still on summer vacation. He settled in for a quiet evening with the latest issue of Field and Stream.

An hour later, Blair closed the laptop with a quiet snap of the lid and leaned back in his chair, stretching his muscles with hands raised over his head. He rose and ambled toward the fridge. "Hey, Jim, you want a beer?"

"Sure, buddy; thanks."

Blair grabbed two bottles, tossed the caps in the trash, then snagged his notepad as he walked past the table. After handing Jim one of the beers, he settled on the opposite couch with poorly-concealed excitement.

Jim recognized the vibes; he'd seen them often enough. Blair was waiting for the 'right' moment to propose some new test or use of his senses. Might as well get it over with; otherwise, his guide might well explode from the internal pressure. "Okay, Chief, spill it. What scintillating senses assessment have you dreamed up for me now?"

"Oh, I don't want to bother you, man," Blair assured him. "It can wait until you've finished that article and you're relaxed."

"Sandburg, if you make me wait, I'll start getting unrelaxed. We have a system that works; don't knock it." Jim's eyes gleamed with amusement as he ticked off the points on his fingers. "You propose, I growl, you wheedle, I give in." He winked at the stunned expression on his friend's face. "Depending on the time or difficulty needed to implement said proposal, one of us makes concessions to the other one, and everything's hunky-dory. So propose, already, and let's get the show on the road."

Blair shook his head, his amusement matching Jim's. "Oh, man, I was going to give you extra points for 'scintillating senses assessment', but 'hunky-dory' takes them off again. I can't believe those two phrases were conceived by the same brain."

"You're stalling, Sandburg. It can't be that bad, just spit it out already."

"You're no fun," Blair griped. "Okay, short version. Would you come to the lumber store with me tomorrow, and tell me which of several types of wood is least objectionable to your enhanced senses? Shouldn't take more than half an hour or so."

Jim made a show of thoughtful consideration. "Tomorrow. Tomorrow. I was going to drive over to Olympia and pick up my winning lottery check. But I guess I can help you out. So what's the long story?"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Well, a friend of mine suffers from pretty bad chemical sensitivity. She's managing pretty well -- relocated out of the city proper, bought non-toxic furnishings and materials for the house, and works from home so she doesn't have to go out too much. She's a really great webpage designer, and her business is taking off. But finances are kinda tight -- that non-toxic stuff is a bit pricier than conventional furnishings -- and she's pregnant; the baby's due about the middle of January."

Jim raised an eyebrow. "And what does my checking out wood have to do with all of this?"

"She's going to need baby furniture -- crib and changing table as soon as the baby's born, and a highchair a little later. There are patterns on the 'Net for do-it-yourself furniture, but her husband's not much of a handyman. So I figure I'll do it; make everything myself with non-toxic materials. I can buy enough wood for one piece each month, and have it all ready for Christmas. And you -- you, my man, will be my insurance that I'm getting the least toxic possibility of the available woods."

"Sandburg, you're not turning the loft into a workshop," Jim objected. "Between the noise and the sawdust, I'd have to arrest myself for murder within a week."

"Hey, man, I wouldn't do that to you! Besides, neither one of us has the equipment for that kind of fine woodworking. I've arranged to use the woodshop at Hardesty High, after hours and weekends. Mr. Rosenbaum -- he's the shop teacher -- has even given me an extra key, so I don't have to track him down to get in. And I promise -- I'll brush myself off real well when I'm finished in the shop, and again down in the parking lot before I come up. I mean, it's hardly kosher to save one person from exposure to toxics while I'm inflicting it on another, is it?" Blair gazed earnestly at his friend. "I swear, Jim, it won't affect you one bit."

"Except for sniffing wood tomorrow," he pointed out.

"Well, yeah...."

Jim chuckled. "Don't sweat it, Chief. It's a worthwhile project you've set yourself, even though I think the sniff test is unnecessary. I've never had any side-effects from any kind of wood that I can think of."

"But imagine your sensitivity spiked and you can't dial it down," Blair suggested. "I mean, some woods are even toxic to non-sensitive people, like yew. And did you know that just standing in the shavings from black walnut can cause a horse to founder? It's not so far-fetched to think that some folks might be sensitive to things that most of us never even notice, is it?"

"Take it easy, Junior. Just because I think you may be going overboard doesn't mean I think you're crazy; that's already been established." He grinned at Blair's amused snort. "I'm sure your friend will be grateful that you care so much for her. I'll be happy to help you get started; it's not like I'll break out in big green spots by sniffing a bit of wood." He glanced at his watch. "So now that that's settled, turn on the TV. It's time for the news."




After a morning of housecleaning, they agreed to lunch at Big Cheese Pizza. Blair's noble proclamation that it was simply pre-payment for the favor Jim was doing him blithely ignored the fact that Canadian-bacon-and-pepperoni stromboli was one of his favorite dishes.

"What happened to 'healthy', Sandburg?" Jim teased. "At least mine has some veggies," he pointed out, digging into his Mexican taco pizza, piled high with lettuce and tomatoes.

"That's spicy taco meat under those veggies, not tofu," Blair retorted. "And it's my turn to cook tonight. I'm thinking of a nice alfalfa-sprout and bean-curd casserole; should clean the cholesterol right out of the old pipes."

"Aren't you overreacting a bit, Chief? The only ones who deserve the punishment of your sprout-and-curd casserole are convicted felons. My gut instinct is, if you want any wood-sniffing done, you need to come up with something a little less healthy for supper.

Blair heaved a martyred sigh. "Fine. Far be it from me to try to slow your headlong rush to a heart attack. Tuna-and-noodle casserole suit you?"

"Throw in garlic breadsticks and you've got a deal."

They shared a companionable grin, finished their meal, and headed to Bartlett Lumber. Both men preferred to support the local independents rather than big chain stores, and Jim could avoid the stress of the cavernous 'warehouse' stores on his senses.

Standing at the back of the store, they surveyed rows and stacks of lumber, of various widths, thicknesses, and lengths. "So, what's the plan, Chief?"

Blair pulled out a small notepad. "Well, according to my research, the best woods are oak, ash, maple, white pine, redwood, and mahogany. But any of them can be irritants for some people, and they're not ranked for relative severity. If you detect a difference, I'll go with the one you judge lowest. If not, I'll go with whichever has the most attractive grain."

"Won't a sealer take care of -- well, whatever comes off the wood that makes a person react?"

"Probably," Blair agreed. "And I've found a sealer that supposed to be non-toxic after it dries, with no fumes. But I might have to use oil instead of a sealer. Regardless, if I avoid as many irritants as possible, whatever slips through should be at low enough levels not to affect Bethany."

Jim shrugged. "Well, I guess all you can do is try. Which one is first?"

"In deference to my pocketbook, why don't we start with the cheapest and work up? White pine." He selected a straight, well-grained 1x6 and presented it for Jim's evaluation.

Jim turned up his mental dial for scent, put his nose close to the cut end, inhaled delicately -- and almost staggered at the surge of sensory input. Too many varieties of wood in too small a space; he was almost overwhelmed by the competing smells.

"I can't, Chief," he gasped. "There's too much here; I can't open far enough to get a true reading for you."

"Oh, man, I should've thought of that! Sorry, Jim; dial it back down for a minute." Blair laid a hand on his friend's arm to help ground him, while he chewed his lip in thought. "Okay, let's see if you can go out to the storage yard, out where they stack all the concrete blocks. If they'll let me bring the wood out to you, it should be easy enough to filter out the smell of concrete because it's so different, and let you concentrate on the wood."

A short discussion with one of the store personnel gained them permission. Jim sat outside on a convenient stack of concrete blocks, breathing deeply of the fresh air, while Blair selected a sample of each wood and loaded it onto a cart. He soon appeared, pushing the cart over the uneven ground.

"Here we go!" Blair announced. He waved a piece of sandpaper in the air. "I even got permission to sand an end -- lightly -- so you can really judge the effect of the fresh scents. White pine, comin' up!" He rubbed an end briefly with the sandpaper, then once again presented it to Jim.

The sentinel cautiously raised his dials, filtering out the scent of concrete as Sandburg had suggested. Yes, this was much easier. Feeling no effects, he raised the dials higher, and sniffed more deeply.

Hmm... was that a slight tickle in the back of his throat, and deeper in his lungs? Jim concentrated, trying to isolate and memorize the feeling. Yes, definite reaction there, although very minor -- to him, anyway; he wouldn't even notice if he weren't dialed up and looking for it. He didn't know about Blair's friend.

"Okay, Chief, I think you should write all this down or we'll lose track. For this one, my dial is on --" he checked it with his inner eye, "-- seven, and I'd peg the reaction at a four."

"Gotcha, gotcha," Blair murmured, scribbling the information into his notebook. "Okay, breathe deep, clean the scent and reaction out of your system." He waited while Jim obliged, then presented the piece of ash. "Now, what about this?"

After Jim had evaluated all the woods, the clear winner was maple; he'd given it a reaction level of one-point-five with his dial set on nine.

"But what if your friend has a reaction anyway?" Jim asked. "It'd be a helluva thing to build a bunch of furniture and then find she can't live with it."

"Got it covered," Blair asserted. "I buy one piece of wood, saw off each end -- that way I can use the middle for part of the crib, later -- then sand and finish each piece. One with something called 'acrylacq', and one with a mixture of tung oil, linseed oil, and something called 'varathane'. Then Bethany checks them out and tells me which one is best for her, or if they're both a wash."

"But then you lose all the element of surprise," Jim pointed out.

"Well, with Bethany's level of chemical sensitivities, she can't afford too many 'surprises'; a bad reaction can lay her up for three or four days, so I had to let her in on my plans -- kinda." Blair's eyes twinkled, highlighting his smug expression. "So I only told her I was building a crib; it'll officially be a 'baby present', and I'll give it to her as soon as it's finished. But the changing table and the highchair will be a complete surprise, and I'll give them both to her as Christmas presents." He grinned up at his friend. "Jim, you know how my mom gets into everything; by the time I was eight, I had master's-level training in how to keep surprises. After Naomi, everyone else is easy flyin'."

Jim raised an eyebrow. "Does this mean I need to be wary of 'master's-level surprises'?"

Blair winked. "That would be tellin'. C'mon, let me pay for this and we're outa here."



Mid-October

"Let's go, Jim! I told Bethany we'd be there at four; we need time to drive slow enough that the crib doesn't slide around and get damaged."

Amusement colored Jim's voice as he slipped into his jacket. "Sandburg, you've been working on that thing for a month; I don't think your friend will lock us out if we're five minutes late. And you have enough rope there to hogtie a couple of longhorns," he said, gesturing to the coils draped over Blair's shoulder. "I doubt that you'll let it move an inch."

"Yeah, but you'll let me drive, right? We're less likely to get into a car chase with me behind the wheel."

"In your dreams, Chief." Jim followed Blair into the elevator and pushed the button. "You should just be grateful that I give up my valuable time and the use of the truck to ferry your little woodworking project all over town."

Blair tossed the rope into the bed of the pickup and climbed into the passenger seat. "Yeah, yeah, like you have anything better to do on a Saturday afternoon. Like reruns of Bonanza are so stimulating."

"Better than the life habits of the Mumbo-Jumbo tribe at the back end of Nowhere," Jim retorted, pulling out into the traffic.

Secretly, Jim was pleased to be spending some time with Blair. The kid had been disappearing every Saturday and Sunday afternoon since he'd started the project, unless he had to help Jim with a case. In addition, Sandburg was teaching a Tuesday evening class from six to nine-thirty, and he frequently skipped out on Thursday evenings as well, to continue his woodworking. Jim felt a little disgruntled; much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, the loft felt -- flat -- without Sandburg's presence, oddly dissonant. It was ridiculous; he was a grown man, accustomed to being self-sufficient and alone, not a kindergartner who needed someone to hold his hand. But, almost unconsciously, Jim found himself counting the days until Christmas, when Blair would have completed his project and be 'his' again.

Jim followed Blair's directions to the far side of the High School campus, and parked outside the woodshop. Blair was out of the truck with a bound, almost vibrating with excitement as he quickly unlocked the shop door and pushed it open. "C'mon, man!" he called impatiently. "I want to see what you think."

Jim gave the crib, standing out of harm's way in a small room off the main shop, the consideration it deserved; Sandburg had put a lot of work into this. He ran a sensitive hand along the top railing and down the side-bars, noting that Blair had taken great care with the sanding, leaving no trace of roughness that might scratch a baby's delicate skin. The design was simple but attractive, with arched head- and foot-boards, and gracefully-tapered spindles for the side-bars; the wood gleamed softly with the wax that had been rubbed in to finish it. A discrete shake demonstrated that the crib was sturdy as well as beautiful; it would provide a safe sleeping place for any number of babies, and then be passed on as an heirloom to the next generation.

"I'm impressed, Sandburg," he finally said. "The craftsmanship is as fine as I've ever seen; your friend is very lucky to be getting something like this."

Blair grinned broadly. "Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I think you're right," he agreed, a trifle smugly. "Now, let's get this thing out to the truck."

As they lashed the crib into the bed of the pickup, Jim asked, "So, which one of Naomi's boyfriends taught you woodworking?"

"Jim, a lot of my growing-up years were spent in communes; you know, recycle, reuse, make your own? I learned and practiced with half-a-dozen men, over the years -- and Brother Marcus, of course."

"Of course," Jim agreed. "Didn't need to ask, did I?"

"Not really. Turn left up here on Vireo, then head straight out of town for about fifteen miles."

Once outside the city limits, with only intermittent traffic as a distraction, Jim gave in to his curiosity. "You said that Bethany is -- what? Hypersensitive? Is she someone you met when you were looking for sentinels?"

"No, she was one of the library-workers when I was an undergrad. She used to help me find the research I was looking for, and I told her a lot about sentinels; we got pretty friendly. And then one day she had an attack of acute appendicitis and needed emergency surgery. She had a bad reaction to the anesthesia -- almost died on the table. But when she was released and went home, she didn't get better, and then she started getting sicker -- unexplained rashes, difficulty breathing, shit like that. She finally talked to someone who knew someone with similar symptoms, and that clued her in; she started researching and finally figured out that the anesthesia had messed up her system so bad that she had developed major Chemical Intolerance. So now she's had to change her whole lifestyle to deal with it; her system is so sensitized that she can't even be around most of the stuff the rest of us take for granted."

Jim frowned in thought as he maneuvered around a slow-moving tractor. "You mean the heavy-duty stuff we all have to be careful with, right? Like pesticides and cleaning fluids; surely someone can avoid those without going to a lot of trouble."

"I wish it was that simple," Blair sighed, "but it's a big problem for a lot of people, and growing bigger. Some of the most sensitive people can be laid low by the chemicals left behind in new carpeting, or the varnish on new furniture, or a fresh coat of paint, or even a can of Pledge or a newspaper."

"So is that why you only rubbed the wood with bees' wax and didn't use that sealer stuff you were talking about?"

"Yeah, man, turns out that that stuff still affects a lot of people, even though they market it as something that won't trigger reactions. I knew I'd have to be careful for myself when I put it on, but I thought it'd be okay for Bethany once it dried, you know? But she said 'no', and you should've heard her tirade about deceptive marketing claims. I tell you, since it happened to her, Bethany's become a real activist; she says people've gotta be aware of this stuff, so they can protect themselves."

"I can see why," Jim agreed soberly, trying to squelch the niggling doubts. He was healthy, strong, kept himself fit; something like that couldn't happen to him. Could it?




Blair rang the doorbell of the modest bungalow, and waited for Bethany to come to the door.

He's as impatient as a kid waiting to see Santa, Jim thought, noting with amusement that Blair was literally rocking on his toes, unable to stand still. "Relax, Chief; I hear footsteps coming this way." A moment later, the door was pulled open.

"Burt! You made it!" the young woman exclaimed, giving him a fervent hug.

"Did you doubt it? I said I would, barring robberies, kidnappings, or acts of God; none of that happened, so here we are. Bethany, this is my friend, Jim Ellison. Jim, this is Bethany Roberts, who was very nice to me when I was just a 'little sprout'." He grinned at what seemed to be an old joke.

"Jim, nice to meet you," Bethany said, shaking his hand. "Burt has told us so much about you. Funny; you don't look like the bear he describes."

"I only show the bear-side to people who deserve it -- like certain hyperactive anthropologists," Jim replied, returning the handshake. He saw a woman who appeared to be a few years older than Blair, with swinging corn-row braids, a creamy café-au-lait complexion, good-humored brown eyes, and a wide smile. She was also quite obviously pregnant; Jim wondered if she might not deliver a few weeks before her mid-January due date.

Bethany mimed licking a finger and drawing a '1' in the air, winking at Blair. "I think he has you pegged, Burt. But since I'm not an anthropologist, and the baby has slowed down my hyperactivity, may I assume that I'll be spared your bear-like attributes?"

"Such a lovely lady may assume anything she wants, and a gentleman would never contradict her," Jim replied gallantly, while Blair elbowed him in the ribs and whispered urgently, "Cool it, man; she's married!"

"Which does not detract from her loveliness," Jim pointed out. "Or the fact that I won't act like a bear around her."

Blair stepped in. "Yeah, but you're wasting time. Are you ready for us to bring in the crib, Bethany?"

"Yes, I have the room all fixed up," she replied. "Head straight down the hall; I'll go open the door."

"So how did you turn into a 'Burt', Chief?" Jim asked as they unlashed the crib and carried it up the sidewalk.

"You're not the only one who tosses around nicknames, you know. Bethany was one of the few people who didn't mind me talking about Richard Burton's book, and about sentinels, so I guess I rambled on about the subject. Eventually, she started calling me 'Burton', and then shortened it to 'Burt'. At least it's better than 'guppy'," he chuckled.

They set the crib down in the small room at the end of the hall. Jim took note of the brightly-painted fantasy animals and characters on the walls; fine work, he decided, with a carefree attitude that was appealing.

"I have such good friends," Bethany said, following his gaze. "Jessie is in Rainier's commercial art program. Since I couldn't put up wallpaper, she bought non-toxic paints and called her work the baby's first present.

"But this... this is incredible," she continued, running a caressing hand over the crib. "You said you're a 'competent woodworker', Burt; I never dreamed you'd produce something so elegant. I can't tell you how grateful I am." She hugged Blair fiercely, seeming on the verge of happy tears.

"Aww, I'm just glad you like it," he said, gently patting her back. "But hey, I want to see the whole thing; where's that special mattress you were going to order?"

"It's out in the airing shed; Maurice hung it out there after it was delivered last month. Follow me."

Bethany led them into the back yard, toward a small, peculiar-looking building. It was about eight feet square, Jim judged, with very wide eaves. They'd be needed to keep the rain out, since the walls stopped a foot short of meeting the roof; the empty space was screened with a heavy, quarter-inch wire mesh, presumably to keep birds out. Lower on the walls, beyond the protection of the eaves, were numerous louvered vents; he counted eight on the wall he could see. It seemed that 'airing shed' was more than just a name; a free flow of air currents through this room was almost guaranteed.

"We put everything out here for at least a couple of weeks after we buy it, just to be on the safe side," Bethany said, opening the door. "Even if something claims to be non-toxic materials, I can't afford to take a chance -- unless it was made specifically for me by someone I know took great care to avoid exposing me to anything dangerous." She smiled at Blair, then waved at the small mattress hanging from ropes. "We ordered this from Non-Toxic dot com; it's guaranteed to be all-natural organic cotton over a filling of all-natural organic wool, but I'm leery -- better safe than sorry, you know?"

"I hear you," Blair said fervently, as he helped Jim untie the ropes. "It'd be outrageous if you couldn't even go into your baby's room without getting sick." Together, the men carried the mattress into the house, and placed it in the crib. It fit perfectly.

"And now," Bethany announced, "the workers deserve to be paid. I have some honey-nut bars fresh out of the oven, and Kona coffee in the pot." She led the way into the kitchen. "But just one, for now. Maurice will be home in an hour, and I expect you both to stay for supper. I've made a pot roast with vegetables. Burt mentioned that you have a few sensitivities of your own, Jim, so I went easy on the seasonings; he and Maurice can add more to their plate, if they need."

Their protests were perfunctory; the simmering roast smelled delicious, and it would be rude to refuse her, especially since she had already gone to the effort of preparation. They chatted over the snack and, after meeting Maurice when he came home, over dinner. The conversation ranged from politics to crime-fighting to living with chemical sensitivities.

Bethany was eloquent about the dangers of hidden toxics in common, household items. "The problem is, the manufacturers aren't required to list the chemicals they use, because they can claim it's part of their protected 'secret process'. So, even if the average consumer is trying to be careful, they can't avoid specific chemicals. Unfortunately, unless they're dealing with chemical sensitivity themselves, most people don't know the dangers; I certainly didn't. We expect to have to be careful around pesticides, for instance, but not furniture polish or dish soap; it's downright scary.

"Now I've learned that the PBDEs that are used to make children's bedding and clothing flame-retardant are every bit as dangerous as PCBs and DDT -- they accumulate in body cells and breast milk, and they can affect learning ability, memory, and behavior. PBDEs have been banned in Europe -- there are safer substances that can be used as flame retardants -- but the EPA, in its infinite wisdom, has chosen not to regulate them.

"And, dammit, it's affecting all of us! The schools are dealing with greater and greater numbers of 'special needs' children who have developmental disabilities, and a lot of it seems to be caused by the chemicals in their own homes, and parents don't even know; they'd never expose their babies to it if they had decent information. It just makes me want to line up the CEOs of all these companies that are using chemicals they know will have adverse effects on the human body, and bitch-slap every one of them until they agree to use safer methods!"

Bethany paused, struggling to control her irritation, and offered a strained smile. "Sorry," she said. "As you can see, I feel very passionately about this. But it makes me almost grateful that I did develop a chemical sensitivity; it's given me the knowledge I need to protect my baby from the day he's born."

"Or she," Maurice said with a fond smile. He gave his wife a hug, and gently patted her protruding belly. "I'm with you all the way, honey; this will be the healthiest baby in the entire state."

Jim was intrigued. He considered that being unable to tolerate certain substances was one of the 'cons' of being a sentinel, and sometimes chaffed under Blair's insistence that they not use various products. It had never occurred to him that ordinary people might have to live with the same restrictions, or even more stringent ones. At least he could 'dial it down' when necessary, and, unlike Bethany's experiences, seldom had to avoid going into a public place.

Thank God, he mused. I could hardly continue being a detective under such circumstances. He resolved to quit sniping whenever Blair declared that this or that item was unsuitable for sentinel use. He'd had no idea that ordinary household items could pose such dangers; the knowledge instilled a vague uneasiness. But Sandburg would be on the lookout; he really did have Jim's best interests at heart, and it was stupid to throw that back in his face.

The conversation moved on to other areas. Blair entertained them with improbable tales of his anthropological travels, and Maurice countered with stories of the vagaries of customers who called computer tech-support. Several pleasant hours later, Jim and Blair took their leave, amid assurances that they'd visit again, and would certainly make time to see the new baby after he -- or she -- had made his -- or her -- world debut.



Early November

Jim tapped his credit-card number into the computer and hit 'send'. He should have the plans for a build-it-yourself wooden rocking horse within the week. Every child needed a rocking horse, and he doubted that Blair would have time to build one. And it would give him something to do on Tuesday nights, when Blair was teaching his class. Assuming, of course, he could get access to the woodshop. What was the shop teacher's name? Oh, right. He looked up the number and reached for the phone.

"Hardesty High. May I help you?"

"My name is Jim Ellison, and I'm a friend of Blair Sandburg. I wonder if I might to speak to Mr. Rosenbaum?"

"Just a moment, please; I'll page him."

The 'moment' stretched to five, while Jim listened to Henri regale Rafe with the highly improbable details of his date the night before. Finally, he heard another voice on the line.

"Rosenbaum here."

Jim explained who he was and what he wanted, and heard the shop teacher's voice warm. It seemed that anyone who liked to do fine woodworking was part of a 'brotherhood', and a friend of Blair Sandburg was automatically raised in Mr. Rosenbaum's estimation.

After a short conversation, the plans were finalized. Nick Rosenbaum would let Jim Ellison into the woodshop every Tuesday evening at six-fifteen. Jim would be able to work till nine, clean up after himself, and be home before Sandburg.

Jim hung up with a glow of satisfied anticipation. He'd liked Blair's friend, and sympathized with her plight, but he was fully aware that he'd be building the rocking horse for Blair as much as for Bethany. Blair, more than anyone he knew, genuinely liked people and, when something good happened for his friends, was as happy as they were. It just seemed -- right -- to help his friend bring joy to other people.



Early December

Jim gazed at the clock above Simon's office door for what seemed like the hundredth time; Sandburg should have been here over two hours ago. Of course, he was most likely chatting with some gorgeous TA, or even helping a student with a problem, but telling himself that didn't ease Jim's concern. The streets were slick from last night's freezing rain and, even though Sandburg was a decent bad-weather driver, there was always some damn-fool idiot who drove as if snow and ice didn't exist. Jim had seen his share of multi-car pileups caused by careless drivers; he just hoped Blair hadn't been caught in one.

The phone rang, and he snatched it up, growling a curt, "Ellison."

"Jim?" Blair's voice sounded woebegone. "First -- I'm okay, man. Just two cracked ribs and a broken wrist --"

"What! Where are you?" Jim demanded.

"Cascade General; where else? But the car's at Rainier, and I shouldn't drive anyway because they pumped me full of painkillers, so could you come get me?"

Jim had been shutting down his computer as Blair spoke. "I'm on my way, Chief; you sit tight." He grabbed his coat and headed out of the bullpen.

Once on the street, Jim resisted the temptation to use the siren to clear the streets for faster travel. He wouldn't be much use to Blair if he arrived injured or unconscious from an accident; despite the weak afternoon sun, the streets were still dangerously slick in spots.

Jim strode past the bustling ER -- it looked like they were treating the victims of at least two traffic mishaps -- to the waiting room beyond. Blair had probably been stashed there to wait for his ride. He was right; as soon as Jim reached the doorway, his eyes located Blair. His friend was seated in the far corner from the doorway, perhaps to try to avoid the noise from the ER beyond. Blair's eyes were closed, with his head resting against the wall behind him.

Jim paused to observe and analyze Blair's condition. The kid's face looked pinched and drawn from pain, and he had the beginnings of what would undoubtedly be a stupendous shiner. His coat and flannel shirt had been removed from his left arm and draped over his shoulder; they wouldn't have fit over the cast that stretched from palm to elbow. Beneath his T-shirt, the bulk of the wrappings around his ribs was easily discernable. All in all, Blair looked like he had gone a few rounds with Muhammad Ali, and lost.

Jim crossed the room and laid a gentle hand on Blair's shoulder. "Your chariot awaits, Chief. Are you ready to blow this popsicle stand?"

Blair stirred and opened his eyes, casting a wan smile up toward his friend. "Oh, man, I am sooo ready; there's just something wrong about tongue-depressors and plastic syringes decorating a Christmas tree, you know?"

"Not to mention that Christmas pudding won't go through an IV tube; I hear ya', Chief. Upsy-daisy!" He placed a careful hand under Blair's right elbow and the other at the small of his back, to help him to an upright position, then quickly shed his own jacket and placed it around Blair's shoulders. He buttoned it closed over Blair's protests, encasing both arms in the warm cocoon. "You need it more than I do, Chief; you don't need any more shock to your system. The truck is warm, and I can dial down the cold if I need to."

Jim settled Blair in the truck and buckled his seatbelt, then pulled out of the parking lot and headed homeward. "So, what happened, Chief? If your car's still at Rainier, I'm guessing it wasn't a traffic accident."

"Slippery steps and bad timing, man; just one of those things." Blair shifted in his seat, and stifled a small groan. "I was coming down the steps from the Admin building, and a student a few steps above me slipped and fell. She slid into me and I couldn't hold on tight enough because the handrail was icy, too, and I went down with her; we slid right to the bottom of the steps." He shook his head wearily. "I can't even decide if it's good karma or bad. I'd rather have been somewhere else, of course, but at least my being there kept her from being injured too much; she got off with just a sprained knee."

"Sandburg, when are you going to learn that the ladies you run into are dangerous?" Jim's voice was gently teasing. "I swear, I'm going to lock you in a basement, where you'll be safe from all contact with the female of the species. That way, you might live to a ripe old age."

"Attic," Blair said faintly; he was starting to doze off as the painkillers took effect and the warmth of the truck soothed him. "Attics are always warmer than basements. And you better come with me; you've had your share of problems with dangerous females, you know."

Jim parked the truck and opened the passenger-side door to help Blair down, and support him across the icy sidewalk. "It's a deal, Chief. The next chance we get, we'll start looking for a comfortable attic." Blair sagged against him in the elevator, and Jim had to guide his faltering steps toward their front door. Once inside, he asked, "Okay, how does tomato soup and cheese sandwiches sound?"

"Works for me," Blair sighed as Jim unbuttoned the outer coat, and then pulled off the inner coat and hung both on the hooks. He wove his way unsteadily to the couch while Jim started supper preparations.

Blair barely managed to remain awake through supper. As soon as he finished eating, Jim helped him into a soft, oversized sweatshirt, and he settled into bed while Jim pulled up the covers. "Sorry, man," he mumbled, "don't know why a little fall should wipe me out so bad."

"You've had a shock to your system, Chief, and the painkillers are affecting you, too. No one expects you to be Superman; you'll feel better in the morning." With a last pat to Blair's shoulder, Jim turned off the light and closed the door behind him.




"Ow, ow, ow, dammit. C'mon, Sandburg, any three-year-old can get out of his own bed; surely you can manage it."

Jim was sipping coffee while he perused the morning paper when he heard Blair's muttered comments. He rose and stepped to the door of the small bedroom. "Need some help there, Chief?"

There was a silence from the other side of the door; Jim could almost picture the mulish set of Blair's jaw.

"Chief, you took a bad fall. Even without the cracked ribs, you're going to be stiff and sore. If you need help getting on your feet, just say so."

The silence continued for a moment, and then Blair capitulated. "Thanks, Jim. I'm stuck here like a bug on my back; I guess I could use a hand." As Jim entered the room, he continued, "Pathetic, huh? It's just that when I try to sit up, everything hurts and I can't keep going."

"You're not the first, Humpty Dumpty, and you won't be the last; don't sweat it," Jim said soothingly. As he spoke, his strong hands lifted Blair's torso off the bed, then turned him sideways so that his feet could meet the floor. "It'll just be a couple of days; then you'll be able to move more easily."

"Yeah, right," Blair muttered, shuffling into the kitchen behind Jim, and sinking gingerly into a chair. "In the meantime, I could be a stand-in for Walter Brennan -- the 'Will Sonnet' years."

Jim set a cup of coffee in front of Blair and moved to the stove. "You'll feel better with some food in your belly," he announced, reaching for the batter and the beaten eggs he had prepared earlier. "Pancakes and scrambled eggs, comin' up. Then after you eat, you can take another painkiller."

"Oh, joy; just what I need -- my brain on drugs."

"Scary as that thought is, Chief, you'll feel a lot better with 'em."

Blair dug into his breakfast with muted enthusiasm. The food eased his tension and lightened his mood considerably, which he was able to admit as he pushed his plate away. "Thanks, Jim; that really hit the spot. Sorry I'm such a grump this morning; it's just so damn frustrating!"

Jim poured them both more coffee and sat down across the table. "I don't see why. If you're not able to drive by Monday, I'll drop you off. You should be able to teach your classes."

Blair waved his cast angrily in the air. "Teach, yes, but I can't work on Bethany's present without full use of my hand."

"How much have you finished?"

"I got the changing table done, and the pieces are cut for the highchair. But they still need to be sanded, the chair put together, and then everything waxed. That kind of manipulation needs two hands, and the doc said I'd need to keep this cast on at least until the middle of January. Why couldn't I have waited another three weeks to do this?"

Jim snorted gently. "Sandburg, if you could pick your moments, they wouldn't be 'accidents'. Why don't you just give her the changing table for Christmas, then the chair for the baby's 'six week anniversary', or something like that? The baby won't even be able to sit up in it until it's something like four or six months old."

Blair sighed -- carefully, in deference to his ribs. "I s'pose I'll have to do it that way. It's just -- oh, I wanted it to be 'spectacular', giving Bethany both pieces at once. And I should probably tell her about the highchair when I take the changing table. Otherwise, she might buy one before I can get mine to her, but then that surprise is shot. It just sucks!" His tone was distinctly mournful.

Jim marveled. Blair was battered and bruised, but his biggest concern was that he couldn't finish a gift for a friend. "How about we do it together?" he suggested.

"Hunh?"

"I think we could make it work," Jim said, becoming enamored with his spur-of-the-moment idea; it would give him an opportunity to do something out-of-the-ordinary nice for Blair. "You've already done the complicated part -- cutting the wood to size, and making sure everything will go together properly. I could use the belt-sander on each piece, then we could rig a padded vice or something so that you can do some of the final hand-sanding. Then after I put the pieces together, you'd be able to rub in the bees' wax with just one hand. It'll still be your project, Chief; I'll just be giving you a little help with it."

Blair's expression lightened; Jim was reminded of sun peeking through clouds. "Wow, man, you won't mind? It'll take at least another couple of weekends. And what about the sawdust on your senses? I don't want to throw you into a bad reaction."

Jim leaned across the table, catching Blair's eyes firmly with his own. "Chief, 'mind' isn't even a factor; you do so much for me, I'm grateful to have a chance to give you a little back. As for the sawdust, I had to turn the dial up to nine to get even a minor reaction, remember? If I keep my senses at 'normal', I won't feel a thing. But if I do, I can always use a dust mask."

"Jim, I'm just..." Blair shook his head in slow wonderment. "I'm just stunned. It's a lot to offer; all I can say is 'thank you'."

"You said it yourself, Sandburg," Jim said, rising and starting to clear the table, "it's about friendship. Call it an early Christmas present, if you like.

"But not today," he continued, as he washed the dishes. "Today you need to let your body rest and recover from the shock. However, I've just realized that it's looking a little 'un-seasonal' around here. I think this afternoon, I should put up the tree and decorate the loft; you can sit on the couch and make sure I do it right."

Blair stared at Jim's back, then closed his mouth firmly. "Jim, what do you think a Jewish boy, who grew up with a Pagan mother, knows about Christmas decorations?" he teased. "And if you're putting up the Christmas tree, will there be room for a Menorah?"

"I think an anthropologist who knows the ceremonies of half the indigenous peoples of the earth can certainly recognize the traditions he's been exposed to from childhood, even if he didn't participate." Jim grinned as he dried his hands on a dishtowel, then tossed it over Blair's head. "And of course there'll be a place for your Menorah. We're a team; the loft reflects that, and there's no reason it should change just because we have a few more frou-frous around."

"Mature, Jim, very mature," replied Blair with an answering grin, as he wadded up the dishtowel and tossed it back, watching Jim catch it one-handed. "Just wait; I'm gonna run your ass ragged, putting up every Christmas decoration that you own."

"Only if you've got an army for backup, Sandburg, and I won't go down without a fight."

Blair's face was split by a sudden, enormous yawn. "Wow. Sorry, man; I guess I'm still feeling the effects. S'pose I take a little nap on the couch while you go get a tree and bring up all the Christmas stuff from the storage room?"

"Most sensible suggestion I've heard all day." Jim supported Blair as he lay down so that he wouldn't strain his ribs, then pulled the afghan down to cover him. "Night-night, Chief," he said with mock tenderness. "Don't let the bedbugs bite."

The answering snort sounded decidedly sleepy. "Like you'd let a bedbug get one tentacle inside the loft. Go 'way, man; the sick kid needs his rest."

Jim did just that, grabbing his coat and keys, and closing the door quietly behind him.




Blair was indeed more alert the next morning, and gazed around the loft with mingled wonder and delight. He'd been so woozy the previous afternoon that he'd hardly noticed what Jim was doing. The transformation now seemed almost magical; he felt about ten years old.

Blair stood in front of the Menorah, gleaming with a gentle patina of age and loving care, which had been placed on a small table in front of the French windows at one side of the balcony. Above it, Jim had hung a large Star of David, which reflected the light coming in the windows.

"I didn't know the right kind of candles to get," Jim explained. "I thought we could pick them up on our way to the high school this afternoon."

Blair just nodded, then wandered toward the tree to examine it more closely. Jim had selected a five-foot, well-shaped spruce in a large planter, and placed it at the other end of the French windows. After the holidays, they'd donate it to one of Cascade's schools. For now, it gleamed softly with lights and tinsel, ornaments and bows, and even --

"Hey!" Blair exclaimed. "You used some of the keepsakes out of my memory box."

"You did give me permission," Jim said mildly. "And I wanted it to be yours as much as mine."

Blair reached out to stroke the miniature Kikuyu shield, given to him by the children of the tribe he'd been studying in Kenya. "I don't know what to say," he murmured. "The Menorah, and my things decorating your tree, it's so awesome, it's just... well, thanks."

"Like I said, it's our tree, Chief. If the two of us can share a space, I don't see why our holidays can't. The whole idea is about sharing, isn't it, for both Christmas and Chanukah?"

"Yeah, but... well, I guess I'm just so used to 'making do', you know?" Blair's initial awed surprise was giving way to enthusiasm. "This is just majorly cool! And I get to put the first present under the tree." He disappeared into his room, and returned shortly with a small box, gaily wrapped in red and silver. He placed it on the floor in front of the tree, announcing dramatically, "Do not open till Christmas! And for any sentinels around," he pointed a stern finger, "no feeling, shaking, or smelling, either!"

"You wound me, Chief, you really do." The attempt at an injured expression was hardly believable, given the broad smile on his face. "But just to keep me out of trouble, what d'you say we have breakfast and head for the woodshop?"

"You're on, man. With three good hands between us, we should get a lot done today."

Together, they headed into the kitchen, where three good hands would be equally as effective at producing sausages and hash browns.



December 23rd

Jim and Blair stepped back to admire their handiwork. The highchair and changing table stood next to each other in silent glory, gleaming with two coats of bee's wax, lovingly applied and then rubbed into the wood with the finest grade of steel wool.

"Chief, if those were paintings, they'd be hanging in the Louvre; they're masterpieces. You can be mighty proud, and I know Bethany will love them."

"Couldn't have done it without you, Jim; that padded vise you rigged up really did the trick. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all your help."

"'Tis the season, Sandburg; I can't be a bear all year." He winked at Blair's small snort of amusement. "And, in honor of the season, I have a little something extra; wait here a minute."

He crossed to Mr. Rosenbaum's office and slipped inside. Though Blair strained to see through the window, Jim kept his body between the glass and whatever-it-was. He gathered the thing up in his arms and carried it into the workshop, but it was covered by a white cloth; even now, Blair didn't have a clue what his friend was up to.

Jim set the fairly bulky object down in front of the changing table, still with his body mostly shielding it from Blair's view. Then, with a dramatic flair, he whipped off the cloth and stepped aside. "Merry Christmas, Chief."

"Jim!" Other than that, Blair was speechless. He moved forward to set the little wooden horse into a gentle rocking as he examined it. It was really rather realistic-looking, with shaped legs instead of straight poles, a distinct saddle, and a soft mane and tail.

"I did everything non-toxic, just like you did, Chief. The saddle is redwood, which was equal to maple in the sniff-test, and the yarn for the mane and tail is made from pure virgin wool from one of the non-toxic outlets, and the only dressing on it is the bees' wax."

Blair walked around the little horse, caressing each part. "God, Jim, this is incredible! If my stuff should be in the Louvre, this would be right next to it, with the ribbon for 'Best in Show'. I don't know what to say."

Jim shrugged dismissively, though he had a broad grin on his face. He didn't even need to see Bethany's reaction to his gift; Blair's was everything he had hoped for. "I had to have something to do with my time on Tuesday evenings, and every kid needs a rocking horse. I'm supposing you won't mind giving it to Bethany along with the other stuff."

Blair shook his head in slow wonderment. "Jim, I've had some nice presents in my day, but nothing that compares to this. For the rest of my life, nothing will compare to this."

"Don't blow this all out of proportion, Sandburg. You're right, I built it for you more than Bethany, and I'm pleased that you like it, but it's just a few pieces of wood and a few hours of time. It doesn't begin to measure up to what you've given me -- control of my senses, and the ability to live with them without going stark, raving mad."

"And friendship," Blair said, regarding him steadily.

"And friendship," Jim confirmed. He stepped forward to enfold his friend in a swift hug, whispering huskily, "Thanks, buddy."

Blair fervently returned the hug. "It works both ways," he said softly. "Thanks, buddy."

"So," Jim said, finally releasing the hug, "you want to deliver these to Bethany tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah. Maurice's been out of town for a few days. He's due back tomorrow night, but I thought it would be nice to keep her company for a few hours. I figured you can do your own paperwork tomorrow." He chuckled at Jim's fierce glare. "We can deliver everything in the morning; I'll just stay with Bethany, and you can pick me up when you're finished for the day."

"Sounds like a plan," Jim agreed as he shrugged into his coat, while Blair did the same. "And here's another -- supper at the Sea Shanty." He watch as Blair locked the door behind them.

"Works for me," Blair declared. "Baked tilapia, here I come!"



December 24th

"Rise and shine, Chief," Jim called with a sharp rap on the bedroom door. "We need to get an early start. You can have the bathroom in five minutes." He returned to his shaving; it would be ten minutes at least before Blair was upright and ambulatory.

As if on cue, Blair appeared in the doorway ten minutes later, shoving tangled curls out of his eyes as he blinked drowsily in the bright lights. "Why? I thought you didn't have to be in till ten o'clock."

"Big ice storm last night. The salt trucks are already out, and the traffic seems to have kept the streets pretty clear, but it'll be bad once we get out of town. I'm going down to put the chains on the truck and scrape the ice off the windows; you can start breakfast after you finish shaving."

"Yeah, sure Jim," Blair replied vaguely as he watched Jim stride toward the front door. He shut the bathroom door firmly behind him. A few minutes in the shower would help him wake up and the extra time wouldn't hurt a thing. It might even give the sun time to melt a little more ice.




"You should probably turn down your hearing, Jim, maybe about halfway," Blair suggested as they got in the truck. "Otherwise, the chain-chatter will drive you crazy."

"Got it covered, Chief. And I'll bet you wish you could do the same."

"You'd win that bet," he grinned. "But I'll just chalk it up to the suffering that every true genius has to do for his art. It'll be worth it when Bethany sees what we're bringing."

Once they reached the woodshop, they carefully tied each piece separate from the others in the back of the truck, ensuring that nothing would shift or hit anything during the trip. Neither man wanted their careful work to be marred in transit.

Traffic was almost nonexistent after they left the city limits but, even with the chains on, Jim kept his speed slower than usual. Blair was able to observe the passing scenery at his leisure, and he marveled at the beauty as they drove through a virtual 'winter wonderland'. Each branch, late-hanging leaf, and sturdy weed standing at the side of the road was encased in a delicate sheath of ice. Now that the storm had passed, the sun shone from a cloudless sky, casting brilliant, coruscating flashes of light from every icy surface, tinged with all the colors of a rainbow. The sight was breath-taking; Blair could almost imagine a group of scintillating snow fairies dancing in the occasional open spaces among the trees. He didn't even try to resist.

"What d'you think, Jim? Would they be dancing a stately minuet, or a lively reel? Or would they put on their own version of the Nutcracker Suite?"

"Sandburg, I was taught never to admit defeat, but I've given up trying to understand your mental gymnastics. Before I can give an opinion on what kind of dance they would do, I have to know who or what 'they' are -- reindeer, snowmen, or cute little winter bunnies. Probably not Santa's elves, though; I imagine they're still finishing up the last of the toy-making."

Blair hid his satisfaction; Jim must be feeling the holiday spirit if he was willing to play along with such silliness. Now to provide the ammunition. "Snow fairies, man! Can't you just see them dancing in the groves? Although it would be gracious of them to invite the elves. Maybe a midnight celebration ball, once their job is finished and Santa's taken off on his trip around the world."

"Chief, just how long do you think my reputation would hold up if I saw fairies dancing in the woods? I'm not even going to try to see them. Besides, it's a new moon tonight; haven't you heard that fairies only dance on the night of the full moon, and one night before and after?"

Jim sounded so matter-of-fact that Blair was almost sucked in. "Really? In all the mythologies I've heard about, fairies never pass up an opportunity to dance." Then he noticed the quiver around Jim's lips and snorted. "Good one, Jim. You had me going there for a minute. But seriously, if fairies were real, isn't this just the kind of environment you'd expect to find them in?"

"If you're trying to point out that it's beautiful out there, I agree. But I'm a little busy driving right now; I promise I'll take a long, suitably admiring look around when we get out at Bethany's."

"I'm gonna hold you to that, man. Life's too short; we need to appreciate the good things when and where we can. And as you said, 'tis the season." Satisfied with Jim's answering chuckle, he went back to enjoying the pristine wonderland around him.




"Burt! I didn't think you'd make it with the ice on the road!" Bethany gave Blair a welcoming hug. "Come in, both of you; I have hot chocolate on the stove, and a batch of chocolate-chip cookies fresh out of the oven."

The men followed her in, opening their coats to the warmth of the house, drinking in the rich smells wafting through the air.

"Sit, sit!" Bethany urged, waving them toward the kitchen table as she grabbed a spatula and started moving cookies from the baking pan to a colorful Christmas platter. She placed the platter on the table, then poured three mugs of hot chocolate, dropping a handful of mini-marshmallows on top of each. She placed one in front of each man, then took her own seat. "So, is it as slick out there as it looks? It certainly is beautiful."

"Not too bad with chains," Jim answered, "But I wouldn't want to drive without them. Didn't Blair tell me you expect Maurice home this evening? You might want to call him and give him a heads-up."

"Already done," she assured him. "And he'll check the road reports before he heads out. I told him to hole up for another day if it's not safe. I'd rather celebrate Christmas late than have Maurice kill himself trying to get home."

"Wise woman," Jim declared, draining his chocolate. "I wish more drivers were as sensible. And in the interests of sensibility, I need to hit the road again, if I'm to be at work on time. But first--"

"But first, we have a Christmas gift that's too big to wrap," Blair hastened to jump in. "Will you wait here while we bring it into the living room? I'd like you to get the full effect, not seeing it in pieces as we carry it through the door."

Bethany cocked her head, her face lit by a wide smile. "What have you done now, Burt? You didn't think the crib was a grand enough present?"

Blair smiled back with a broad wink. "That was a baby present; this is a Christmas present. Besides, you know it's not polite to look a gift horse in the mouth."

"Okay, I'll be good. Call me when you're ready." Bethany settled back and started singing in a reedy, Chipmunks-like falsetto, "Christmas, Christmas time is here, time for toys and time for cheer."

Blair snickered and followed Jim out of the kitchen, listening as Bethany continued to sing, "We've been good but we can't last. Hurry, Christmas, hurry fast."

Once outside, they made short work of untying the furniture. Jim picked up the highchair, judging that the smaller rocking horse would be easier for Blair to handle with his arm in the cast.

Inside, they arranged both pieces facing the kitchen doorway. Blair called, "Hang on a couple more minutes, Bethany; we have a second trip to make."

"We can hardly stand to wait. Please Christmas, don't be late," she sang in answer.

Jim and Blair were still grinning as they set the changing table in a central position between the highchair and rocking horse, forming a semicircle of polished, gleaming craftsmanship. Both men took a stance behind the array, not wanting to obscure her first sight, and Blair called out, "Oh, Bethany! Allee, allee, incomefree!" Only Jim heard her soft snort and snicker as she pushed herself out of her chair.

As soon as Bethany reached the doorway, she stopped with an indrawn breath. "My God," she whispered prayerfully. She approached slowly, eyes drinking in every detail and, as Blair had done only the day before, reached out to caress the head of the little horse, and set it to rocking.

"Burt, I don't know what to say. 'Incredible' doesn't even come close, and 'stupendous' is only a fraction of what I'm feeling right now. I can't imagine anything nicer than these, even if I bought it from the classiest store the city." She moved around the display and grabbed Blair in a fierce hug. "Thank you sooo much!"

Blair smiled broadly as he returned the hug; Bethany's reaction was everything he'd hoped for. "I'm glad you like it," he admitted. "But it's not just from me. Jim made the rocking horse, and helped with the highchair after I got stuck with this thing." He waved his cast in demonstration. "It was very much a team effort, and we were happy to do it."

"Then Jim deserves a hug, too," Bethany declared, suiting action to words. "My baby will never have anything nicer than this; I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."

Jim cleared his throat, somewhat uncomfortable with so much emotion from someone he barely knew. "Well, like Sandburg said, it was a team effort and we enjoyed it. But, you're very welcome; use it in good health." He patted her shoulder gently, and extricated himself from the hug.

"But now I need to get going," Jim continued. "Since Sandburg insists he's on vacation today, I'm stuck with reports to write." He buttoned his coat as he spoke. "Pick you up about five-thirty, okay, Chief?"

"You got it, Jim," Blair answered, but Bethany shook her head.

"If you're going to be that late, you need to stay for supper again," she insisted. Seeing Jim hesitate, she pretended to pout. "If Maurice can't make it home, you wouldn't want me eating alone, would you? I'm planning baked chicken and scalloped potatoes," she coaxed.

Jim surrendered. "Well, we can't pass up that menu, can we, Chief? Bethany, do you drink?"

"Once in a while, for important occasions."

"I think we can classify Christmas, and the imminent arrival of a new baby, as 'important occasions'. I'll bring the wine." Before Bethany could protest, he closed the door behind him and headed toward the truck.

"Well!" Bethany turned to Blair. "Is Jim always so..."

"Dictatorial?" Blair laughed. "Oh, yeah. He was an eldest child, he was an officer in the military, and now he's a policeman. Three strikes; he really doesn't know any other way. But he means well," he assured her.

"Oh, I can tell that. I bet he's got a real soft spot for children, kittens, and puppies." Bethany headed back into the kitchen.

"And stray anthropologists," Blair agreed, following her. "I'm lucky to have him as a friend."

"I can believe it. But now that you're here, I'm going to put you to work. I'm planning to make two pumpkin pies, a mince pie, an apple-cranberry pie, and a pecan log roll. You game?"

Blair raised an eyebrow, but removed his outer shirt and started rolling up the sleeves of his second shirt. "Your wish is my command, milady. But should you be spending so much time on your feet? Isn't it hard on your back or the baby or something?"

"Burt, you told me you grew up in communes; how can you be such a fuddy-duddy? Here, chop these pecans," she said, placing nuts, knife, and chopping board in front of him. "Birthing a baby is a perfectly natural process, and it's good for the mother to get some exercise."

"I know, and I've heard other women say the same thing. I guess a man just can't help being concerned." He gazed worriedly at her very large abdomen.

"Don't be," she advised with mock severity. "It won't change a thing. Now, get to chopping while I make the piecrusts."




With two pies in the oven and two waiting their turn, Bethany and Blair sat down for another round of chocolate chip cookies, this time with coffee. Their conversation wandered down a number of intriguing byways as they renewed a friendship that had grown a little distant because of Blair's immersion in Jim's world and Bethany's seclusion from the city.

Blair didn't notice anything for awhile, but it finally occurred to him that Bethany wasn't really eating -- she had only nibbled at one of the cookies -- and she seemed uncharacteristically restless. Every ten minutes or so, she made an excuse to get up and do something, or just walk around the kitchen while she continued talking to her friend. "Are you okay?" he asked, again feeling that tinge of 'concern' that Bethany had earlier rejected.

"I'm fine," she assured him. "I'm just having some little contractions, and they're easier to ride out if I'm walking around."

"You mean you're having this baby now? We've got to call an ambulance, get you to the hospital!" Blair felt on the verge of panic, and much too far away from help, if it was needed. He jumped up and rushed toward the phone.

Bethany intercepted him, grabbed his shoulders, and forced him to look at her. "Burt, calm down!" she ordered.

Blair stared at her for a moment, then shook his head forcefully, took a deep breath, and visibly shoved aside his panicked reaction.

"That's better," Bethany said, approvingly. She led him back to the table, and they both sat down. "Now, in the first place, it's probably not true labor. Most women get Braxton-Hicks contractions -- sort of pre-labor pains -- that can last for several days before birth. It's very unlikely that I'll have the baby today. In the second place, I can't go to the hospital; can you imagine what exposure to all those chemicals would do to me? Maurice and I have been talking with a registered midwife to help when the baby's born."

"Then let's call her," Blair urged, half-rising to head toward the phone again. "She'll know if it's the real thing or not."

Bethany caught his hand and pulled him back down. "In the third place," she continued as if he hadn't spoken, "Marcella's in Seattle, visiting her folks for the holiday; she won't be back until the twenty-ninth."

"But... but she can't!" Blair exclaimed. "You need her!"

"We didn't expect this baby to arrive almost three weeks early; it's not her fault the little tyke is so eager to get out," Bethany pointed out. "But in the fourth place, if these are Braxton-Hicks, it's likely to be another four or five days before anything actually happens. Maurice will be home by then, and he knows how to help me. And finally, I know what to do, which is mostly to just let my body take care of the process. It's natural Burt, you know that; there's nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right," Blair replied, nervously combing his fingers through his hair. "But if you think either Jim or I will leave you here alone while you're in labor -- or even 'pre-labor' -- you're crazy. I'll call him later and have him pack a change of clothes for each of us before he comes out. If Maurice doesn't get in this evening, you're going to have two overnight guests."

"Truthfully? I'd appreciate it," Bethany admitted. "If the baby does come, I know I can do it alone, if need be, but a support system would be very welcome. Now, how about hamburgers and clam chowder for lunch?"




Blair noticed that, once again, Bethany was eating very little; she didn't make a hamburger for herself, and had only a few spoonfuls of the chowder. Although she continued to chat comfortably -- still interspersed with the walking episodes -- he wondered if maybe her instincts were telling her something that her conscious mind hadn't quite registered.

They had finished lunch and were clearing the table when Bethany stopped, appearing startled. "Oh my," she said softly.

"What? What? This is not a good time to hear 'oh my'," Blair insisted. "That's only one step better than 'uh-oh'."

"My water just broke. I guess I really am in labor. This baby's even more eager than I realized." Seeing a flash of panic cross his face, she ordered, "Burt, don't wimp out on me now!" Bethany continued more quietly, "It'll still be several hours, at least, so just relax. There's a mop in the utility room. If you'll clean the floor, I'll wash the dishes, and then you can help me get the birthing area ready."

Blair closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. "I am -- relaxed," he intoned. He opened his eyes again and looked at the puddle on the floor. "Okay, but first I'm calling Jim. They must've covered this in police training; he could help."

"If you want to," Bethany agreed, calmly filling the sink with water.

Blair dialed and waited impatiently. He felt pathetically relieved to hear the brusque, "Ellison!" on the other end of the line.

"Jim, Bethany's in labor and her water just broke, and she can't go to the hospital and her midwife is out of town and I don't want to do this alone. Ditch the paperwork and get over here, ASAP!"

"Take it easy, Chief. How's Bethany reacting?"

"Her? She's cool as a cucumber, says her body knows what to do, but," Blair's voice dropped to a strained whisper, "I'm scared, man!"

Jim's voice was amused. "Normally, I'd advise you to keep the mother calm, but it sounds like she's got a handle on that. So, you keep calm, and just follow her lead. I'll close up here and be out as soon as I can. But I'll be bringing home the rest of the paperwork; if I'm going to deliver a baby, you can do the scutwork."

"Yeah, man, whatever; just get here!" Blair hung up the phone a little more forcefully than necessary and stared again at the evidence of impending birth. "Mop, mop," he muttered, and headed for the utility room.

With the kitchen clean, Bethany folded several dishtowels and placed them in a large crockpot, then filled it with water and set the dial for the lowest temperature. "I may need hot compresses during the later stages of labor," she explained. "Take this out and plug it in near that big easy chair in the corner."

After Blair had done so, she waved at the baby furniture which had been left in the living room in expectation of Maurice's arrival. "Okay, let's clear the area, get this stuff in the baby's room. You grab the other end," she said, stepping to the changing table, then gasped and leaned on it to support herself as she rode out a strong contraction.

When it had passed, she looked up at Blair's concerned face with an approving smile. "Well, now I'm certain that it's good, sturdy construction; just what I needed." She winked. "Life lessons, Burt; deal with it. It's no biggie; we just have to do these things between contractions. So grab hold!"

Together, they carried the changing table into the other room. Then Blair moved the rocking horse and highchair by himself, while Bethany got out a thick, wool-stuffed pad as well as two pieces of plastic sheeting and an old bed-sheet, which she cut in half. She placed the wool pad on the floor in front of the easy chair, then covered it with one piece of the plastic, and half the bed-sheet. The other piece of plastic and the rest of the bed-sheet covered the chair, tucked in so they would remain tight. "Having a baby is messy, Burt," she said, in answer to Blair's enquiring look. "The plastic will keep the blood from getting on my good chair and my kneeling pad, but the bed-sheet over the plastic will be more comfortable for my skin. It's old; I'll just throw it away afterward, rather than try to clean it."

"But... won't you have the baby in bed? In fact, shouldn't you be in bed now?" Blair was nervous; the baby couldn't just -- drop out -- could it? It was improbable, but he wished Bethany would at least sit down.

Bethany chuckled and shook her head. "I guess the women don't let boys in on the secrets of birth even in communes, do they?" Blair mutely shrugged. "Come on; let's go back to the kitchen, and I'll tell you all about it." On her way past the bookshelves, she grabbed a Scrabble game.

While Blair set up the game on the table, Bethany placed a small pair of metal scissors and a length of dental floss in a pan of water and set it to boil. As she worked, she explained, "Burt, bed births have been foisted on women by the lazy medical community; they want the mothers in bed to make it easier for the doctors. But it actually makes it harder for the woman; her body is working against gravity, and she's not in a position to push effectively when she needs to. Hang on; here's another one. Go ahead and pull out your tiles." She walked briskly out into the living room, making a few circuits before she returned.

"I wish I could walk outside, but I'm too awkward right now. I can't chance falling on the ice," she said as she came back and sat down, then pulled her letter tiles out of the bag. "As I was saying, I'm going to make gravity work for me. When I reach the later stages of labor, I'll kneel on the pad in front of the easy chair, using the chair itself to support my upper body. If you're still here, you can help by putting the hot towels on my back during each contraction; it'll ease the pain." Bethany examined her tiles, then spelled out 'STORIES'. "That's -- seven times two is fourteen, plus fifty points for using all seven letters. Ha! Your turn."

Blair felt that the whole situation was -- surreal. Bethany was in labor -- was having a baby -- and she was playing a game and chattering like it was just an ordinary day. How could she do it? How could a first-time mother seem so confident, almost blasé? Was Bethany really that confident, or was it a form of denial of what she might be facing? Or maybe... maybe she was putting on a front, pretending to be self-assured in an attempt to generate confidence. Were the chattering and the game just a distraction from her own nervousness, maybe even fear? Okay. If that was it, he'd do his damnedest to help distract her.

He perused his letters, and placed 'WHEREAS' above Bethany's first 'S'. "Okay, that's -- ten times two is twenty points." He dug in the bag to grab more tiles, grinning at Bethany's delighted crow. "You just wait; I'll catch up."

And so the game continued, past 'MOLLY', 'FAIL', and 'ANGLE', past 'STRAP', 'PONDS', and 'ZONES'. Occasionally, Bethany rose to walk through another contraction; after one of those, she turned off the boiling water. "These will stay sterile in the water; when it's time to tie off the cord and cut it, they'll be cool enough to use." Another time, she gave Blair a large slice of apple-cranberry pie and a steaming cup of coffee. "Nothing for me until the baby's born; don't want to be upchucking all over the place," she replied to his inquiring look, and then snickered at the fleeting look of distaste that crossed his face. Bethany won the first game by thirty points, and they started on another.

Blair was increasingly uneasy. Bethany was getting up to walk around at more frequent intervals, and the contractions seemed stronger; she often stopped to lean over the back of the easy chair, clutching hard at the sides of the headrest until the wave passed. Where the hell was Jim? Blair really didn't want to do this, no matter how confident Bethany appeared.

When his cellphone rang, Blair grabbed it frantically. "Is that you, Jim? Where are you, man?"

"I'm on my way, Chief, about ten miles from the house. Unfortunately, there's a semi jack-knifed across the road and hung up in the ditch; no way around it. I can't get there until the equipment to pull it loose reaches us, and that's likely to take a couple of hours. How's Bethany doing?"

"Like I know?" he hissed. "She's still acting like it's no big deal, but the contractions are getting harder and the intervals are getting shorter. Jim, she's having a baby!" His voice rose and cracked on the last word.

"We've already established that, Chief." Jim chuckled, but his voice was soothing. "Remember, women have been having babies for millions of years. Just let nature take its course; I'm sure everything will be fine."

"That's easy for you to say," Blair muttered rebelliously. "Just get here as soon as you can, okay? Maybe the baby will wait for a few more hours."

He closed the cellphone and turned back to the living room. "Bethany!" he gasped, hurrying to her side. She was kneeling on the pad, resting her torso on the seat of the easy chair while she groaned through another contraction. Blair was afraid to even touch her. "What should I do?" he whispered.

Bethany smiled gently, although sweat beaded her brow. After blotting her forehead on the sheet-covered arm of the chair, she said, "First, turn up the thermostat about five degrees." Blair quickly crossed the room to do so, then returned for more instructions. "Now, help me get out of these clothes."

"All of them?" Blair squeaked.

"All of them; clothes are constrictive and they'll just get messy." When Blair still hesitated, she winked. "I won't tell if you won't."

Firming his jaw, Blair nodded jerkily and helped divest Bethany of -- everything. And then he took off his own second shirt, remaining in just his T-shirt. He was pretty certain that he'd be doing some sweating of his own, very shortly. After a moment of thought, he went into the kitchen and covered the end of his casted arm in plastic wrap.

He returned in time to see Bethany leaned over the seat of the chair with another groan; Blair could see the contraction ripple through the muscles of her lower back. "Burt -- hot towel, please," she gasped.

Quickly, Blair pulled one out of the crockpot, wrung out the water, and placed it on her back. Bethany sighed with relief, and he felt a flash of gratitude that he could do something to help her.

Blair lost track of time as Bethany panted and groaned, struggled and sweated. God, he'd heard women talk about 'labor', but he'd never realized it was so -- physical. He helped as best he could, exchanging cooled towels for hot ones, wiping the sweat from her forehead, and offering ice chips when she felt able to take them. Finally --

"Bethany, I see the head! It's coming!"

"I know," she gasped. "Be ready to catch it." She pushed through another contraction with a visibly mighty effort and a long, protracted groan. The baby slipped into Blair's waiting hands, along with copious amounts of blood and other bodily secretions that he didn't even want to think about.

"It's a girl!" Blair crowed. "You did it!" Then he examined the baby more closely, still attached to her mother by the umbilical cord. "Uh, now what do I do?"

"Hang onto her for just a little bit," Bethany panted. In a few minutes she eased herself upward and sat on the edge of the chair, leaning back in a half-lying position. "Now, give her to me; lay her right here."

Blair laid the infant on Bethany's chest. She used a finger to clear a wad of mucous from the baby's mouth, wiping it carelessly on the already-stained sheet. Blair continued to watch as Bethany kissed her daughter's head and stroked the wisps of hair, listened as she crooned a wordless welcome while the baby made her first attempts to suckle. Amazing that something so -- messy -- could be so beautiful. But they weren't finished, yet.

"Uh... you said I have to cut the cord?" Blair asked nervously.

"In a little while, after my body expels the placenta. Right now, she's still getting nutrients through it, and that's important. But go get my robe from the bathroom and put it over us; I don't want her to get chilled."

Blair quickly retrieved the robe and draped it over the baby; he was relieved that it covered most of Bethany, too. Yes, the human body was beautiful and natural and all that, but... seeing his friend lying there exposed was just a bit too... personal. Bethany continued cuddling and crooning to her daughter, pausing occasionally as ripples of residual contractions passed through her muscles.

Finally, after about thirty minutes, the placenta slipped out and fell to the floor with a moist squish. Blair swallowed nervously; it looked so -- raw. Natural, he told himself, it's completely natural. Following Bethany's instructions, Blair tied off the cord and cut it. The baby girl was now a separate entity, a new life welcomed into the world. Blair's throat thickened. Despite his earlier misgivings -- Face it, he told himself sternly, you were totally in a blue funk! -- he felt incredibly grateful to have participated in this small miracle.




Bethany recovered her energy incredibly quickly -- at least by Blair's estimation. Together they cleaned up the baby and wrapped her in a blanket, then Bethany took a shower while Blair kept an eye on the child as he rolled up the bloodied sheets and plastic, and carried them out to the trash. Barely two hours after the baby had taken her first breath they were back in the kitchen. Bethany nursed her daughter while eating a large -- very large -- slice of pumpkin pie. "Hey, that's hard work; I'm hungry! And could you bring me some milk? Marcella said I can't have coffee until the baby's no longer nursing; otherwise, I'll be dealing with a holy terror that never sleeps."

Since Bethany was busy, Blair started supper preparations. He dredged the chicken in flour, sprinkled it with seasoning, and put it in the oven to bake. He was layering the sliced potatoes in a baking dish, the white sauce bubbling gently on the stove, when a car horn blared outside. Wiping his fingers on a dishtowel, Blair strolled to the door, completely unable to wipe the broad smile from his face. He opened the door to find Jim, as he expected, hand raised to knock. Behind him, Maurice was just getting out of his own car.

Blair shook his head with mock severity. "If this had been a real emergency, fat lot of help you'd've been. You can go back and finish the paperwork; there's nothing here for you to do. On the other hand," he continued, raising his voice a little as he watched Maurice coming toward them as fast as the slippery conditions permitted, "I'll let Big Daddy come in. He'd probably like to meet his daughter."

"It's over?" "A daughter!" Blair stepped nimbly out of the way as the larger men all but stampeded toward the kitchen. Jim pulled up short at the kitchen door, allowing the proud father a few moments alone with his wife and child.

Blair closed the door and crossed the room to stand beside Jim. As they watched Maurice hug Bethany and kiss the baby's forehead, they wore identical sappy grins, though each would have been quick to deny it.

"You did good, Chief," Jim murmured.

Blair vigorously shook his head. "Not even, man! It was Bethany all the way; I was just the water carrier."

"Well, it looks like you have a little more 'water' to carry; your white sauce is going to start burning in a minute."

"Oh, man!" Blair hurried to the stove, grabbed the whisk and started stirring the sauce. "Make yourself useful," he said over his shoulder, "and start grating the cheese."

Working with their customary efficiency, Jim and Blair soon had the baking dish filled with sliced potatoes, white sauce, and cheddar cheese. Blair slid the pan into the oven, next to the chicken, and glanced at the clock. "Okay, supper in one hour. And since Jim was conspicuously absent during the excitement this afternoon, he can handle KP while we wait." He made a show of serving slices of pumpkin roll to Bethany and Maurice -- with milk for her and coffee for him -- then took coffee and pumpkin roll for himself and joined the others at the table. With his best military air, he ordered, "Get moving, Private, or you'll be put on report."

"Up yours, Sandburg," Jim retorted amiably as he procured his own share of coffee and pumpkin roll and joined the group. "We'll do it together -- after supper. Meanwhile -- how are you, Bethany? Any problems?"

"Not a one," Bethany replied sunnily. "And Burt was a real trouper. But I knew he'd come through; he's been a good friend for a long time. So Maury and I have decided," she glanced at her husband and received a confirming nod, "this little girl's name is officially Elaina Blair."



December 25th

They'd arrived home very late after an evening of dominoes and Scrabble and good conversation. Consequently, it was ten o'clock by the time Blair wandered into the kitchen to find that Jim had been up for only a few minutes himself; the coffee had just finished dripping into the pot. "Hey, Jim." He poured two mugs, set one in front of his friend, and sat at the other end of the table.

"Have a snack, Chief. It's even better now that the flavors have had time to set." Jim pushed the last pieces of apple-cranberry pie, which Bethany had insisted they bring with them, closer to Blair. But the younger man seemed oblivious, gazing vaguely at nothing. "Those are mighty deep thoughts if they're keeping you from digging into this pie, Einstein. What gives?"

"Oh, just thinking how it all ties together."

Jim's eyebrows rose. "And 'it' would be...?

"Little Elaina, and the baby Jesus, and the little babies born all over the world every day. Christians consider the birth of Christ a Christmas miracle, but after seeing what Bethany went through yesterday, the birth of her little girl is just as much a miracle. And people refer to it all the time exactly like that -- the 'miracle of birth' -- but they're so casual about it. I think they've forgotten that it really is a miracle. I know I did, until yesterday. But that showed me..." Blair shook his head in slow wonderment. "There are no words for it, I guess. I just sorta feel...." He trailed off.

"Humbled before the universe?" Jim suggested. "Yep; been there, done that. I helped deliver a baby on New Year's Eve once; their car was stuck in the snow, and the baby came too quickly for an ambulance to reach them. I walked around next day feeling like I should be passing out cigars. The birth of a baby really is a gift."

They sat for a few moments, drinking their coffee, and then Blair shrugged slightly and reached for the pie. "Well, I suppose we can't sit around all day contemplating life, the universe and everything; gotta get on with the 'life' part." He took a large bite of pie and chewed slowly, eyes closed blissfully. "You're right; it is better the second day."

Between them, they finished the pie, Blair nobly restraining himself from licking the plate. "Well, that should hold us until the big feast at Joel's. Shall we open presents before or after we wash the dishes?" Blair asked. He was rinsing his plate as he spoke; he already knew the answer.

"You've waited this long, Sandburg; I think you can wait a few more minutes. I'll wash, you dry."

Shortly thereafter, they were seated in front of the Christmas tree, Blair with mingled anticipation and nervousness. Would Jim think he had gone overboard? Of course, Jim always thought he went overboard, but maybe -- too deep this time?

"You first, Sandburg." Jim handed him a small box, very light, wrapped in green and silver striped paper. Inside was a gift certificate from Jim's mechanic, for a complete checkup and tune-up of the Volvo.

"Oh, wow! Jim, thank you; this is stupendous. But I think you're going to lose your bear image if you're not careful. I mean, smiley faces?" He waved the certificate as if to an assembled crowd. "Four of them, no less!"

"It's Christmas, Chief. I think my image can handle dispensing a few smiley faces once a year; enjoy them while you can." He ignored Blair's snort and reached for the large package with his name on it. "Shall I try to guess what's in here?"

"You can try, but opening the box would make more sense."

Jim carefully opened the box and pulled out a thick, heavy-knit sweater in a shade of muted smoky blue. He ran a judicious hand over it, appreciating the softness and the lush sensation. "Chief, I'll see your 'stupendous' and raise you an 'incredible'. I don't think I've ever felt anything so... comforting, even before putting it on."

"I had it made specifically for you. I got to thinking -- as much as I've tried to limit dangerous chemicals, Bethany made me realize that the effects of a lot of stuff can be cumulative, and we'd be smart to cut out even more. So this is a special yarn made of a combination of organic hemp and organic cotton, and the color is a natural, plant-based dye, and it was hand-knitted by one of the teachers at Rainier; no machine oils or anything." He shrugged in self-deprecation. "We don't need to toss everything out of our closets, but if we look for non-toxic clothing when we buy new stuff, eventually we'll have a higher proportion of safer stuff." He was babbling, but he couldn't seem to stop.

"Sandburg," Jim interrupted gently. "It's okay. I appreciate the thought, and when it gives me a present as nice as this, I'm certainly not going to complain." He reached for an even larger package and passed it to Blair. "Here. This is your other present."

Inside, Blair found a thigh-length leather jacket, soft as butter, with a curly sheepskin lining. "My God, Jim!" he breathed. "What comes after 'stupendous' and 'incredible'? This is awesome!" He immediately stood, dumping the box on the floor, and tried on the jacket. It fit as if it had been made for him.

"Just covering all my bases, Chief. If you turn into a popsicle on some cold, late-night stakeout, you won't be able to back me up if I need it." Jim's fond smile contradicted his disclaimer of mere practicality.

"Sure, Jim, I believe you," Blair said. "Not," he added, with a wink. "And this is your other present," he continued, passing him a much smaller package.

Inside, Jim found a notebook, filled with computer-printed pages. It seemed to be a homemade -- recipe book? -- with a different heading on each page. Disinfectant. Soft Scrubber. Anti-bacterial Spray. Furniture Polish. Window Cleaner. Oven Cleaner. He raised his eyes to Blair's with a questioning look.

Blair shrugged. "Same thing. I was raised using homemade products with natural ingredients, pretty much, but I've let the old habits lapse because it was more convenient to buy stuff from a store. But seeing what Bethany deals with, I'm reminded all over again about how important it can be. That 'think green' vibe that Naomi taught me protected me from a lot of hidden toxics; I just never realized how much.

"I guess it's not much of a present, but I thought we could start making our own cleaners and using them instead of the commercial stuff, start cutting down on those cumulative effects, make the loft a place where your senses can relax even more...." Blair trailed off. Why had he thought this idea would be any kind of a suitable present?

"Blair." Jim spoke softly, but with heartfelt emotion. "This is great. It shows me that you have my back in more ways than I ever expected. Don't apologize for showing that you care. You've told me a dozen times if you've told me once -- it's what friends do."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Blair wandered to the French windows and stared out at the glittery world below. "You know, despite everything, it's been a pretty good Christmas, hasn't it?"

Jim crossed the room to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Blair, staring out at the same transformed city. "Not quite, Chief. Because of everything, it's been a wonderful Christmas. And don't forget -- big fancy dinner at Joel's with the whole gang, just to put the icing on the cake, or the whipped cream on the pumpkin pie. I couldn't possibly ask for more." He slipped his arm around Blair's shoulders and gave him a heartfelt hug.

Blair returned the hug, basking in the warmth of friendship freely given and shared. "You're right; after all, 'tis the season to count our blessings. Merry Christmas, Jim."




Hand-made Wooden Rocking Horse




The End



Author's Notes

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Title: Once More Into the Breach
Summary: It seems that our boys will never manage to have an uneventful camping trip.
Style: Gen
Size: 6,835 words, about 14 pages in MS Word
Warnings: None
Notes: Written February 2003, Revised March 2006
              Apologies to William Shakespeare for the title. But he, if anyone, should understand the strange turns that a writer's mind takes.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Once More Into the Breach

by StarWatcher





"So, Jim, do you think we should put something in the kitty before we head out?"

Jim paused in signing his newly-finished stack of reports and stared at his de-facto partner. "What are you talking about, Sandburg?"

"The betting pool, man. Here we are heading out for a weekend camping trip. If we work it right, we could clean up when we get back."

"Sandburg, where's your head? If you bet on us getting hurt, and then we get hurt, they'll figure we rigged it somehow and won't pay up. And do you really want to bet on us getting hurt? Don't you think that would be like taunting fate?"

"Give me a break, Jim. I'd bet on nothing happening, both of us coming back undamaged. I mean, it's got to happen eventually -- why not bet on 'now'?"

"Because, Chief, betting against something is the surest way to make it happen. I want at least the possibility of a relaxing weekend, without worrying about the universe waiting to get back at us for making stupid bets. No, I don't want to add to the pool, and you're not going to, either."

"Oh, come on, man, that's just superstitious nonsense. The universe doesn't care if we make bets on the outcome of certain actions. There's no way that making a bet for non-excitement can cause something to go wrong this weekend."

"Then it works both ways, Chief. Making a 'bet for non-excitement' won't ensure a peaceful weekend, either."

"Jeez, Jim, I'm not expecting assurances, just looking at the odds. The law of averages says that we'll have an uneventful camping trip sooner or later; I just think it's worthwhile making a small wager that it could be this weekend."

"Will you listen to yourself, Sandburg? On the one hand you're saying that we could have a peaceful camping trip, and on the other hand you're talking like it's our destiny or something to run into trouble every time. You just can't have it both ways. No," he interrupted as Blair opened his mouth for a rebuttal. "No bets. We're going to treat this like two normal guys planning a simple weekend of fishing, because that's what we are."

Jim gathered the files and went to deliver them to his Captain. He knocked, and entered after hearing the growled, "Come!" He barely registered Sandburg slipping in behind him; it was so normal that it didn't cause a blip on his radar.

"Here are the reports, Simon. My desk is cleaned off, nothing pending, and we're out of here."

Captain Banks leaned back, chewing on his cigar, and regarded the men in front of him. "So, gentlemen. You're heading out for a weekend in the wilderness, away from big-city crime, communing with Nature, right?"

"Yes, sir," they chorused.

"And you're both going to come back whole, without even one damaged piece between you, right?"

"Yes, sir," they dutifully replied.

"And you're going to avoid any emergencies that require me -- or any of us in Major Crime -- to rush to your rescue, right?"

Blair rolled his eyes at Jim, while Jim smirked at his Captain. "Yes, sir," they assured him once again.

"And you're taking both cellphones, fully-charged, and have left your itinerary and destination notes with Rhonda, right?"

"Simon!" Blair finally protested. "We're grown men, both with extensive camping and wilderness experience. Jim spent eighteen months in the Peruvian jungle, in case it's slipped your mind, and I've been on half-a-dozen anthropology expeditions in very primitive parts of the world. Why does everyone think we can't leave town without running into trouble?"

"Simple, Sandburg. Because experience has proven that you two can't leave town without running into trouble. I don't know if it's you or Jim, or maybe the combination, but 'expect the unexpected' must have been coined with you two in mind."

"Simon, that is so unfair," Blair complained. "And you know, it just might be all the negative karma that everyone generates that precipitates the trouble in the first place. Maybe if everyone held good thoughts about us not having any problems, it would come true."

"Fine. I'll think good thoughts. In the meantime, does Rhonda have the necessary information, in case we do have to ride to the rescue?"

Jim stepped in as Blair opened his mouth for another retort. "Give it a rest, Chief. It doesn't hurt to be prepared; if the backup plans are unnecessary, we'll all be relieved. But we might just end up being grateful for them. And yes, Simon," he continued, "we've taken every possible precaution, and we expect to be back safe and whole on Monday."

"Fine. Go. Enjoy your weekend. See you Monday."




As Jim drove toward the mountains, Blair stared out the window at the dry landscape. In the past four months, the area had received barely half its normal precipitation, and now it had been a record twenty-seven days since Cascade had last seen rain. He had reveled in the warm, sunny days this summer, but now...

"Do you think the fishing will be any good?" he asked his friend. "We've had so little rain..."

"Never thought I'd hear you complaining about the lack of rain, Chief." Jim sounded amused. "But we shouldn't notice anything different; the river we're headed for is deep, and it catches runoff from the snow-melt. We will need to be extra careful with our fire, though, and make damn sure we don't let any sparks escape."

"I hear ya', man. Umm... do you think it would help if we soak the ground before we set up the campstove?"

Jim shrugged. "It shouldn't be necessary; the fire itself will be contained by the stove, and wet ground won't prevent sparks. All you'll do is create a mud puddle to interfere with getting close enough to the stove to actually use it."

Blair returned to his observations of the passing countryside, noting tinges of faded green, and wilted edges on the vegetation. Thank heaven they'd decided on the little propane stove instead of a traditional wood-burning campfire; he would never forgive himself if a bit of carelessness on his part started a forest fire.




Blair thought that he would hold this time in his memory as the quintessential definition of a 'perfect day'. He stood in knee-deep water as he waited for a passing fish, with his Cree fishing spear poised to strike. He felt the chill even through his thick waders -- Jim must be right about the river being fed by snow-melt -- but it didn't matter. The sun was warm on his head and shoulders, and a gentle breeze kept it from being too hot.

Jim was downstream of his position. "It's simple, Sandburg," he had declared. "Every time you lunge with that spear, you'll scare every fish around. Since they tend to head upstream, they'll pass my spot before they get to you. After they're past, I don't care how they react to your stomping around."

Blair watched his friend expertly flick his rod to drop the fly next to a large boulder, a likely resting place for trout. When Jim cocked his head, Blair wondered what he might be listening to. Experimentally, he paid attention to his own hearing; how many sounds could he isolate with normal senses?

The river, of course, but with several variations -- a soft lapping of wavelets along the muddy shore, a subdued gurgle as the water swirled around protruding boulders, a cheerful chuckling as it bubbled through a narrower, rocky area. Animal life, too. A squirrel chattered at the intruders from a safe distance. He heard the distinctive knocking sound of a woodpecker in search of a meal. On the other side of the river, a mourning dove called softly, almost drowned out by the harsher, strident cry of a raven.

Briefly, he wondered how much more Jim could hear with his enhanced senses. How many more voices in the river spoke to his friend? How many more animals carried on their lives out of earshot of his normal senses, but not out of Jim's? Blair decided not to ask. He'd let Jim enjoy this quiet, rejuvenating weekend without the mention of even a hint of tests. The sentinel could relax and stand down for a while, and his guide along with him.

"Heads-up, Sandburg! A big one's coming your way!"

Jim's urgent call pulled him from his reverie. He scanned ahead carefully, and located the silvery shadow approaching. Yes... It was going to pass right by his leg. He shifted the spear's position minutely and... YES! Score one for 'primitive' methods. He'd caught the first fish -- a good four-pounder at least, he judged as he lifted it on the spear.

"So, Jim, are you going to help provide our evening meal, or are you going to leave it all to me?" Blair aimed a broad grin at his friend.

"Just wait Sandburg; we'll see who laughs last. Whoever catches the fewest fish has to do the cooking." The threatening growl didn't hide the twinkle of his eye, or the twitch of his lips; Jim was every bit as relaxed as Blair had hoped he would be.




With the shadows lengthening across the water, they decided that it was time to quit fishing and start cooking. After catching another fish, Blair had spent the rest of the afternoon lying in the sun while reading the latest Clive Cussler thriller and watching Jim's expertise with the delicate flies on the end of the gossamer line. Jim eventually caught eight fish -- one worthy of
a 'Simon, eat your heart out' picture, that Blair carefully captured -- but released all except two modest-sized trout for dinner.

While Jim fired up the stove, Blair prepared their dinner as he'd once promised Jim and Simon on an earlier trip. He used a deft hand with the herbs and garlic, keeping sentinel senses in mind, and moistened the maple leaves that he wrapped the fish in, to prevent scorching. The result was delicious -- the perfectly-seasoned fish flaked easily, and the leafy wrapping imparted a subtle, 'woodsy' undertone that highlighted the taste of the trout. Both men happily gorged themselves, then spent a peaceful evening under the moon and stars, sipping their beer as the camping lantern hissed quietly in the background.

Conversation was sparse, interspersed with long silences. They were comfortable and relaxed, each sipping a beer and simply enjoying each other's company and the whole 'weekend communing with nature' situation. Several times, Blair stifled idle comments unspoken; even he felt that the peaceful quiet should be savored, and none of his observations were so important or unusual that they couldn't be saved for another time. Eventually, still with a minimum of conversation, they crawled into their sleeping bags, falling asleep within minutes.




The following morning, Blair used a rod instead of his spear; they didn't need to keep any more fish, and he couldn't very well catch-and-release one if it had a spear-hole through its body. The day was a repeat of the one before, right down to the squirrel chattering from a nearby tree. Blair was supremely content. He realized that he'd become bored if every day were like this one, but decided that it would probably take a month or two.

Jim had already caught -- and released -- two fine trout, and Blair had caught a small catfish, when Jim stilled. "Chief, did you hear that?"

Blair looked around. "Birds and squirrels is all, man. Why, what did you hear?"

"A gunshot, but not close; several miles away at least." He relaxed, with an obvious 'standing-down' of his alertness. "I don't think the shooter will come close enough to bother us."

A frown marred Blair's face. "But what would he be shooting at? Hunting season's still three months away. Do you think we should investigate?"

"There's no season on pest animals, like rabbits, squirrels or skunks," Jim pointed out. "More than likely, it's a farmer disposing of a rabbit in his garden; the shooter is using a small caliber, like a twenty-two. Not the sort of weapon carried by your typical mobster or escaping con." He winked broadly, then went back to eyeing the water for a likely spot to drop his fly.

Blair carefully cast his own fly in a quiet spot; if Jim wasn't worried, neither was he. He let the peace of the day seep into his psyche once again.

Less than ten minutes later, Jim visibly tensed and froze, head cocked slightly to the side. Recognizing the stance, Blair hastily reeled in his line and waded over to support his friend.

"Jim? What's up, man?"

"I hear a running horse, Chief -- very fast, not a controlled gallop -- and there are no riding trails around here. The nearest town is about ten miles away."

"Can you tell how far it is?"

"I'm not sure; the trees muffle and distort the sound. It does seem to be coming this way though, if it doesn't change direction."

The question became moot as a wild-eyed horse, its hair darkened with sweat, bolted out of the trees. It plunged into the water without slowing, close to the men but ignoring them completely as it continued its urgent run. There seemed no chance to catch it, until it stumbled and fell, going completely under the water. Jim moved toward the animal when it went down; as the horse scrambled to its feet, he eased forward and caught a broken, trailing rein, uttering nonsensical platitudes in a soothing voice. The animal squealed and half-reared, but was too tired to continue the protest. It submitted to the coaxing, comforting tones of the man, perhaps expecting that a human could fix its troubles. It stood with wide-spread legs and heaving sides, ignoring the human while it keep a lookout for danger, head raised and nostrils snorting its uneasiness.

"Easy, fella, easy," Jim murmured as he stroked the tense neck, "You're okay now; easy." In a few moments, the horse had relaxed enough that he could lead it to dry ground while Blair retrieved his friend's dropped fishing rod and followed. Once out of the water, they quickly shed their waders and turned their attention back to the horse.

"What d'ya think, Jim, someone in trouble?"

"I think it's likely, Chief." Jim was examining the horse, stroking and soothing it as he evaluated the evidence. "This saddle has been scraped, probably against a tree. If it happened while the rider was up, she could be badly hurt."

"She? How do you know that?"

"Look at the length of the stirrups, Sandburg. The rider has short legs -- either a small woman or a young teenager. And..." he took a deep breath to confirm it, "...I smell perfume clinging to the mane and saddle. Ergo, a small female, age undetermined."

"What do you think happened?" Blair was watching the horse's reactions as Jim worked with -- he took a quick glance underneath -- her. The speed with which she had calmed down indicated a mellow personality, although part of that could be due to weariness. "Is there anything to tell you what might have spooked her?"

"Yeah, take a look. See here -- the river washed most of it off, but there's blood on her hip. It's a bullet wound; she was shot. It's a small hole -- maybe that twenty-two I heard earlier -- but something like that would scare a horse enough and hurt enough to cause it to bolt. The pain of running with the wound would probably act as a goad to keep her from stopping. The question now is, where is the rider and what shape is she in?"

"So, we call in Search and Rescue?"

"And tell them what, Sandburg? We have no idea where this horse started out."

"Hey, man, you used to ride. How far could a horse like this have run before it was too tired to keep it up?"

Jim stepped back and evaluated the situation dispassionately. "Well, she looks like a Thoroughbred, built for speed but not necessarily long stretches of stamina, and the weight of the western saddle would slow her up a bit. On the other hand, she'd keep trying to run away from the sting of that bullet wound. Hell, with nothing to stop her, she could have run all the way from that town ten miles away. For all we know, the rider was dumped in the stable yard and has already been taken to the hospital if she needed it. We'll just have to go find out. How are your tracking skills, Chief? Did you learn anything on those expeditions to 'primitive parts of the world'?"

"Well, I know the theory, of course, and have some basic skills, but I spent most of my time talking to the tribal elders and the women. Many times, they're the real keepers of the culture. I went on a few actual hunting trips, but... Oh, come on, man; you're pulling my leg! You hunted with the Chopec; you know all about this stuff, right?"

"Yeah, Sandburg; just gotta keep you on your toes. Let's get ready; we're probably in for a long hike."

They stripped the saddle and bridle off the horse; she would have to fend for herself until someone could come to lead her home. "What about these, Jim? Should we leave them on, or take them off?" Blair stared at what appeared to be rubber booties on the horse's hooves, crisscrossed in front by thin wire cables, with a big silver latch-thing holding it all together. "And are you sure we shouldn't tie her to something?"

Jim shrugged. "Whatever they are, it doesn't look like she's uncomfortable wearing them, and there's nothing to get tangled and trap her if something goes wrong. Just leave them. But tying her up could be dangerous; horses have a positive genius for getting in trouble sometimes. She's tired, and she has grass and water; she won't wander too far. We don't have time to deal with it, anyway; we need to get moving."

Blair put the large first-aid kit in his backpack, along with a good supply of trail mix and several apples and oranges from their provisions. Jim rolled up his sleeping bag, and added a couple of the extra blankets that Blair always brought. When they found the victim, she might well need the added warmth until medical personnel could arrive. They made sure that both canteens were full, and that each had his cellphone in his pack. Finally, Blair left a note detailing the situation and their intentions pinned prominently to his sleeping bag. If things fell apart and they needed rescuing, the searchers would at least know where to start.

They shouldered their packs and entered the trees where the horse had emerged. The sentinel was on the hunt, and his guide would provide backup and support.




The horse's rubber-shod hooves had left minimal markings in the dry ground, the trees were spaced far enough apart to provide few obstacles to a running animal, and the mature-growth forest had little underbrush. Consequently, the signs -- a tail-hair caught in rough tree bark, a slight scuff mark on the dry forest floor, an occasional broken twig, or a sporadic drop of blood -- were insignificant and widely-spaced; without Jim's enhanced vision, they might not have been able to follow the trail. But they made steady progress until the backtrail crossed a large outcropping of solid granite. Despite his efforts, Jim could find no visible sign of the horse's passage.

"Problem here, Sandburg; even I can't track that horse over this kind of ground."

"Umm... maybe we should just go straight across and see if you can pick up the signs on the other side."

"No, we'll lose too much time. Chances are that the horse didn't run straight across; searching the perimeter to find where she came out could take hours, unless we get lucky."

"Well, let's think about it for a minute. Vision is out, hearing... hey, what about hearing? If we're close enough to the victim, and if she's calling for help, maybe you can hear her. Give it a try."

Jim took the suggestion; with his eyes closed, he extended his hearing while Blair anchored him with a hand on his arm and occasional whispered directions. Finally he released a pent-up breath and opened his eyes. "No good, Sandburg. She's either too far away, or not making any noise."

"Well, okay. Then how about... smell?"

"Smell! Sandburg, even strong perfume doesn't carry very far. If I was close enough to smell her, I'd be close enough to see her."

"Not the woman, the horse! Think about it, man; she was panic-stricken, running all out, and she was really sweaty when she got to us. I'll bet some of that sweat splattered on the ground; maybe you could pick it up. Maybe even blood-smell from where she was bleeding." Again he rested a hand on Jim's arm to provide an anchor.

Once more Jim closed his eyes. He knew the drill; carefully he sorted through the various scents. Sun-baked rock, mouse droppings, drying vegetation... there! Horse-sweat and fear-scent mingled together. "Got it, Chief; come on." He led Blair across the outcropping at a forty-five degree angle from the straight-line trajectory; it was fortunate that they hadn't tried the 'straight-across-and-search-for-signs' method.

Once again under the trees, they moved more quickly. Now that Jim had identified a scent-track, he was able to use it to augment the visual signs. Vision and scent worked together to provide an easily-followed trail. Blair bit his lip and refrained from making any comments about human bloodhounds as he followed his sentinel's lead.




Over an hour later, Jim paused and held up his hand. "Wait, Chief, I think I heard something." He cocked his head, waiting for a repetition of the sound, while Blair took the opportunity to sit -- quietly! -- on the ground to rest.

They remained silent for several minutes. Blair was starting to worry about a zoneout when Jim stirred. "Got it, Chief; three hoots on a whistle. Not very strong, but definite. At least we know she's conscious and lucid. This way." He pressed forward now at a brisker walk, apparently abandoning the sight/scent trail to home in on the whistle.

Fifteen minutes later, Blair was able to hear the whistle himself. The faint hoots were so distant that he probably wouldn't have noticed them under normal circumstances. But since he could hear it with average senses, they were probably getting close to the victim.

"Hey, Jim, even my ears can hear her now. Does that mean we're close enough for you to get a visual?"

"We might be, Sandburg, if there weren't so many trees in the way. Even sentinel vision can't see through solid objects. But we should be there in about ten minutes or so."




They found the victim sitting at the base the tree that she had probably impacted when her horse bolted. Even Blair could see the scraps of cloth from the torn shirt and the smear of blood on the rough bark. The woman had apparently tried to make herself comfortable; she was leaning against the tree trunk instead of crumpled in the dirt. However, she was obviously in pain; although she was shivering, her face was shiny with sweat, and her breath came in shallow, gasping pants. The hand that she used to raise the whistle to her lips for another signal visibly trembled.

"Take it easy, ma'am, you've been found," Jim called across the remaining distance. They drew closer, and he and Blair knelt beside her. "I'm Detective James Ellison of the Cascade Police Department, and this is my partner, Blair Sandburg. Your horse ran into the river where we were fishing. When we saw the state she was in, and the tree-scratches on the saddle, we decided to backtrack to see if the rider needed any help."

He catalogued the woman as he spoke. She was small, as he'd surmised -- barely five feet tall and a hundred pounds, he judged -- with a silvery-white ponytail hanging beneath her riding helmet. She looked to be in her mid-thirties, despite the hair color; her face was mature but not yet age-wrinkled. Old enough to be sensible and -- apparently -- relatively calm in this difficult situation.

"Oh, thank God," she sighed. "I tried my cellphone but I can't get a signal, and they don't expect me back at the stables for several hours. I thought I'd have to wait for nightfall to be rescued, unless Astra ran back to the stables, or maybe even till morning. Oh! I'm Denny -- Denise Schoonover. So very pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Well, Denny, I have some basic medical training; let's check you out," he comforted. "Sandburg, we'll need a fire until S and R can get here; how about finding us some dry wood?"

"Gotcha, Jim." He started off, then paused. "Um, Denny, can I borrow your whistle? My sense of direction isn't as bad as Jim thinks it is, but these trees all look alike. I can blow it if I can't find my way back here. Okay, Jim?" He didn't want his friend to demonstrate his enhanced senses too obviously in front of a stranger.

"Good thinking, Chief. Just try not to break anything; one patient at a time is enough."

"Funny Jim, real funny. Hang on, Denny; we'll have a fire to warm you up in no time." He emptied his backpack, placing the precious first-aid kit close to Jim, and took the empty bag to hold the smaller kindling.

Jim turned to his patient. "Okay, Denny. I'll be as gentle as I can, but I'm afraid this is going to hurt a bit. But I need to see what you've done to yourself so I can make you as comfortable as possible until we can get the medics here." Jim's voice was as professional as he could make it; victims often drew strength from the calm attitudes of their rescuers.

"I understand, Detective; do what you need to. But I take exception to your terminology. I did nothing to myself; my horse bolted, smashed me against a tree, and knocked me out of the saddle."

"Why were you riding alone?" he asked as he began his examination. Apparently she wanted to talk, perhaps to distract herself from what he was doing. "People are advised to ride with a buddy to provide help in just such circumstances as this."

"Detective, I'm neither foolish nor stupid. I know the horse -- Astra is a sensible, well-mannered animal; I trained her myself. I know the territory -- we've ridden out here dozens of times, many times alone. Today I wanted a quiet ride without any companions, but I did leave my planned route at the stables, and I brought my cellphone with me. Unfortunately --" she hissed and tensed at the slight pressure of Jim's hands exploring her injuries. In a wavering voice she continued, "Unfortunately, there are no-signal areas around here, and it was my bad fortune to be in one when I got hurt. I hoped she'd run home and my friends at the stable would know I was down, but since she didn't... I didn't plan to return until three, so I don't figure anyone will become really worried till four or four-thirty. I knew I just had to tough it out for a few hours and wait for rescue, but... I'm really glad you found me before all that."

"So, do you have any idea why your 'sensible, well-mannered animal' suddenly bolted?" Jim wondered if she was aware of being shot at, and if she could provide any eyewitness information. "And, since the circumstances are hardly formal, you might as well call me Jim."

"Well... Jim... I think we were shot at." She interpreted his raised eyebrow as disbelief. "No, I didn't see anything, but Astra jumped like something had stung her. I thought it was a bee, and then she bolted, but... things were happening so fast that I'm not certain, but... I'm pretty sure I heard a gunshot."

"You're right," he told her. "She has a small bullet-wound in her hip. Damn-fool idiot probably shot at the movement without identifying what kind of animal was making it. You're lucky you weren't hit, or even killed."

"I know." She grimaced again in pain. "But right now I don't feel very lucky. I'm entered in a jumping competition next weekend. This certainly puts paid to that. But at least... you did say that Astra's all right?"

"She's fine," he assured her while he silently marveled. What was it about women and horses? Her face and voice were tight with pain, she couldn't speak an entire sentence without gasping for shallow breaths, but she was worried about the animal and irritated about missing a jumping competition. Maybe Sandburg could explain it, but it made no sense to him. "The pellet will have to be dug out, but I don't think it's big enough or deep enough to cause permanent problems. No other injuries that I could find, and she was running soundly when we caught her.

"As for you, you have a broken collarbone and your right leg is broken below the knee, which you probably already figured. It could be worse; at least the bone hasn't pierced the skin. And it's a good thing you're wearing a helmet; it looks like your head hit the tree as well, but it prevented what could have been a nasty head injury. When Sandburg gets back, we'll get you fixed up and make you comfortable while one of us goes for help." He could hear his partner coming now, but Blair wasn't within her hearing range yet.

"Great!" she sighed. "I was hoping it wasn't all that bad. I won't complain, though, if you've got some painkillers in that first-aid kit. Could I have something before you start messing with my injuries?"

"Well, I have Tylenol Three and Lortab Ten left over from times Sandburg or I have been hurt. Also aspirin and Advil and regular Tylenol -- not as strong, of course, but a little safer. Are you allergic to codeine or acetaminophen, or are you taking any antihistamines or antidepressants?"

"Oh my; I always heard that policemen have the best drugs." When she saw Jim's frown, she hurried to apologize. "Sorry, sorry! Please, I'm feeling a little spacey; no offense -- I didn't mean to insult you. Just -- oh, God, can you give me something? I've used Tylenol Three before with no problems; that should be okay."

Jim relaxed; he, more than anyone, understood how easily thoughtless words could escape in times of stress. "No offense taken, Denny; I know you didn't mean it." He pulled a pill bottle out of the first-aid kit and shook a capsule into her hand, then held the canteen to her lips for her to drink. He noted the time with a glance at his watch; medical personnel would need the information when they treated her.

"Thank you," she murmured. "I'll just rest until your friend gets back."

"YO, JIM!" they both heard a few minutes later. "Sing out, man! Which tree are you hiding behind?"

"Over here, Sandburg! You're about two hundred yards away!"

Blair appeared through the trees, backpack bulging with small kindling-sized sticks, and arms filled with larger, heftier branches. He dropped his load next to the tree, and squatted down next to his friend. "Okay, man, I made it back with the wood -- and without using the whistle, you'll notice. So, what's next?"

"She has a broken leg, broken collarbone, and some relatively minor abrasions on her back. I've just given her some Tylenol Three; we'll build a fire while it takes effect, then splint the injuries and put her in the sleeping bag. You can watch her while I scout out a place that an ambulance or 'copter can get to."

"All right; sounds like a plan." He started to scrape away the forest debris; Jim added his efforts, and they were soon down to bare dirt. They quickly had a small fire crackling merrily, placed close enough to Denny to give her some welcomed heat. Despite the mid-afternoon sun, it was cool in the deep forest shade, and Jim had noticed the minute shivers that occasionally passed over her body.

"All right, Denny, your turn." Jim opened the first-aid kit again. "You're in luck. Sandburg and I have been through similar situations so many times that we come prepared. No jury-rigged blanket-and-stick splints for you. This handy-dandy air splint will take care of you with no fuss at all. No jostling as we wrap the leg -- we'll just slip it on and blow it up like a beach ball."

Blair glanced at Jim with fond amusement as the soothing babble continued. Ellison showed the world a cold, stern 'cop' persona that prevented most people from trying to get close to him, but he knew that the tough outer shell covered an inner core of pure mush. The tender, crooning tone in his friend's voice was proof of that -- it demonstrated a large part of Jim's character, but was used almost exclusively for children, animals, and victims.

Working together, they splinted Denise's leg, strapped her arm to her chest to relieve pressure on the collarbone, cleaned the abrasions on her back and covered them with antibiotic salve, and finally slid her into the sleeping bag. Jim was pleased. He and Sandburg made a great team; they had accomplished the entire procedure with a minimum of fuss and -- thanks to the wonders of modern pharmacology -- a minimum of pain for their victim.

"Okay, Denny, Sandburg will stay with you while I go arrange a way to get you out of here. You said you've done a lot of riding around this area. Are there any roads close enough to get an ambulance in, or a clear space for a helicopter to land?"

"Umm..." Between the medication and the relief from the stress that had been caused by pain, she was becoming groggy, but she made the effort. "The nearest road is about five miles away, just two miles north of the stables. But there's a big clearing about half a mile east of here; a fire a few years back burned the side of a small hill, and the trees haven't grown back yet. Just some wildflowers and scrubby brush. I think that area is in cellphone coverage, as well."

"Sounds promising. I'll check it out, and call for a rescue copter with paramedics aboard. We'll have you out of here in no time. Is there anyone else I should call for you before I head back?"

"Umm... Call Molly at the stables. Five-five-five, six-five, six-four. If she can ride with them... you could lead her back to Astra? And she could ride her home."

"We'll work something out. You just take it easy till I get back." He patted her hand and rose, pulling Sandburg to one side.

"Chief, it's okay to let her sleep. Just keep her covered, and the fire going. Let her have a little water if she's thirsty, but only a little -- the stress and shock could make her prone to vomiting. If it takes too long to get someone here and she's in considerable pain, you can give her another Tylenol Three -- but just one, and note the time you give it; the paramedics will need to know before they give her more meds."

"Got it, Jim. Don't worry; I'll just sit here and vege till you bring back the cavalry."

"Since this is a dead area, I won't be able to get you on the cellphone; sure you can handle things for awhile?"

"Jim, I'm perfectly capable of watching one injured woman. Just go. We still have a long hike back to camp, ya' know?"

"Right, Sandburg. See you later."




Jim and Blair watched the helicopter lift into the sky. Denny was now safely in the care of professionals; their job was almost finished. They turned toward Denny's friend, who had indeed managed to hitch a ride on the rescue flight.

"Well, Ms. Campos, are you ready for a long hike and a longer ride?" Jim asked. Privately, he thought she looked capable; she was considerably taller than her friend, and appeared to be fit and muscular. But of course, looks weren't everything...

"Please, Detective, it's Molly. And I followed your instructions -- hiking boots, new reins, and a full canteen. This won't be the first time a horse-related mishap has caused a long walk." She grinned at both men. "At least this time I'll be able to ride home."

"Then it's Jim and Blair. So let's get moving. As it is, I'm not sure you'll make it home before dark. There's a full moon tonight, but you won't get much benefit under these trees."

"Ah, but I have a secret weapon!" She patted the backpack she carried. "Denny and I had special headstalls made that hold a battery-operated miner's lamp. We've both trained our horses for night-travel with that as a light-source. I just have to keep Astra's head pointed in the right direction, so she can see where she's going. No problem at all."

Blair stared at her, the astonishment plain on his face. Jim simply shrugged and led the way. Women and horses...




Jim walked toward Major Crime on Monday morning, determined to uphold the not-quite-fiction that nothing had happened. At least, as promised, neither he nor Sandburg had been hurt and, as Simon had instructed, no one had had to 'rush to their rescue'. The effort was doomed before it got started; as he entered the door, he was faced with a large floral arrangement on his desk, and the sound of Rafe and Brown snickering.

He opened the card and read, 'No damsel in distress ever had a sweeter pair of knights in shining armor. Thank you. May the Lord bless you, and keep you safe in your job. Denny Schoonover'.

"So, Ellison, it seems that the lady is very grateful," H grinned. "Which one made a date with her -- you or Hairboy?"

"No dates, Brown. The lady was a victim in need of rescuing. We assisted in that rescue. End of story. And how the hell did you find out about it?"

Simon couldn't allow his men to have all the fun. He strolled over to deliver the 'good news'. "As Brown said, the lady is grateful, Ellison. She called me, singing your praises. She called the Chief, to tell him what great personnel the Cascade PD has. For all I know, she's taken out an ad in the newspaper. You're stuck with it, Jim -- you and Sandburg are her heroes. Just one more notch added to the Ellison-Sandburg legend."

Jim groaned. "I swear, Simon, the next time we take a weekend off, I'll find an uninhabited atoll to camp on. There's gotta be some way to have an uneventful trip."

"In your dreams, Ellison. In your dreams." Simon grinned and headed back to his office.




That afternoon, Jim paused to grab a cup of coffee from the break-room. As he headed back to the bullpen, he heard Sandburg's voice raised in protest. This was strange; his friend had specifically said that he would be spending the entire day at Ranier. He stopped in the hallway, and extended his hearing to listen in on the conversation.

"What do you mean I didn't win the pool? Jim and I are both in one piece -- not a scratch between us!"

"But Hairboy, you didn't bet on you and Jim not getting injured," Henri pointed out. "You bet on 'nothing unusual happening'. Stopping a runaway horse and rescuing its rider definitely qualifies as 'unusual' -- for anyone but you and Ellison."

"He's right, Sandy," Megan chimed in. "But look at it this way. You didn't get hurt this time. Maybe you'll start a trend and come back without injuries next time, too. You just have to be more specific about what you're betting on."

"Fat chance," Blair groaned. "We've probably used up our non-injury quota for the next five years." He sighed. "Okay, okay, I'm out of here. I don't want Jim to know I made the bet. I'll see you guys later."

Jim drew back around the corner as Blair approached the elevator; he didn't want his friend to know that he had overheard. He would bide his time, and wait for the perfect moment to rub Sandburg's nose in the failed bet. He could be patient, and he would make sure that the lesson was sweet indeed. Jim grinned evilly as he sipped his coffee and headed back into the bullpen.



The End




Author's Notes

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Title: Zucchini, Tomatoes and Corn, Oh My!
Summary: Blair becomes embroiled in a tasty enthusiasm.
Style: Gen
Size: 7,380 words, about 13 pages in MS Word
Warnings: None
Notes: Special thanks to LKY, who graciously gave me permission to mention her beloved Uncle Buck in my story. Written July & August, 2007.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every one is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a comment that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Zucchini, Tomatoes and Corn, Oh My!

by StarWatcher






Early March

"Hey, wow, did you see this?" Blair was curled up comfortably, carefully perusing every article in his section of the Sunday paper.

His friend didn't even glance up from mentally composing a scathing letter to the editor as he read of the proposed city ordinance that would limit the age of vehicles allowed to drive in downtown Cascade. "How many times have you insisted that the 'Lifestyles' section is more culturally relevant than the 'pompous arrogance of short-sighted, monkey-brained, alpha-posturing world leaders'? Since you see fit to grab that part first, no I haven't 'seen this'. I'll get to it eventually; today is perfect for staying put," Jim added, glancing at the cold rain beating against the balcony doors.

Blair folded the paper inside out and faced it toward Jim, tapping the relevant headline. "No, look," he insisted, "this is great news.

Jim easily compensated for the distance between his position in the yellow easy chair and Blair's in the far corner of the couch as he read, City to Allow Garden Plots on Vacant Lots. "So the city is conning a lot of would-be farmers into cleaning up vacant lots and planting pretty flowers without paying them a cent for their efforts. Sounds like a royal rip-off to me."

"You're missing the whole point, man! This will be vegetable gardening. Well, maybe a few flowers if someone is so inclined -- did you know that planting marigolds can help keep the bugs away from other plants? But lower-income families can rent a plot -- only three dollars a month -- and grow their own fresh vegetables, healthier and cheaper than what they get in the store. And it'll give kids something to do in the summer, help keep them out of trouble and give them a sense of self-satisfaction when work they've done with their own two hands benefits them and their families. You'd be surprised what a difference just growing things can make in people's lives. I've read studies --"

"Thanks, Chief, you've convinced me; I don't need chapter and verse." With a rustle of paper, Jim prepared to drop the conversation. The silence lasted only a few heartbeats.

"I think I'd like to do it," Blair mused, half to himself. "Just imagine the taste of home-grown tomatoes and corn, carrots and sweet peas; man, your taste-buds will think they've died and gone to heaven."

Jim raised a curious eyebrow. "Why? You already get most of our fruits and vegetables from the farmer's market, and you know which ones grow their stuff organically, or at least pesticide-free. You've demonstrated that food picked when ripe is far superior to the stuff that's picked early and allowed to ripen during shipment; my taste-buds and I thank you. But what difference will it make if they do the work, or you do?"

"Well..." Blair gazed around the room with unfocused eyes; his expression suggested he was seeing confinement instead of a comfortable, open living-space. "You're probably right that I won't notice a difference; but it'll be interesting to see if you do. But mostly I just... kinda miss it," he finished quietly.

"Miss what?"

"That connection with the Earth, man. There's something... elemental... about getting your hands in the dirt and nursing the seedlings to healthy crops, and protecting them from disease and predators, even if the 'predators' are just bugs and birds. Problems in a garden are a lot more straightforward and easier to solve than problems in a classroom -- or the PD."

Jim was mildly interested. "You sound like you're talking from experience, Chief. So, what -- you helped the women in the fields when you went on anthropological expeditions? I would've thought you'd be taking notes from the tribal elders."

Blair straightened, his brow furrowed in a slight frown, and lips pinched in apparent disapproval. He steepled his fingers almost prissily as he proclaimed in a monotonous half-whine, "'Every anthropologist should be a multi-faceted individual with a broadly inquiring mind; equally adept at speaking with, and gaining knowledge from, all members of a tribe, men, women, and children. Do not allow yourselves the preconceived ideas that one group or another has nothing of value to offer. An anthropologist who has neglected one segment of the tribal population has cheated himself as well as the subjects he studies, and leaves gaps in our accrued knowledge of the world and its peoples'."

In the face of Jim's expression -- composed equally of appalled dismay mixed with a sad certainty that his friend had finally slipped a cog -- Blair collapsed backward into the cushions, laughing heartily. "Sorry, Jim; if you could see your face..." He chuckled again, then explained, "That was Professor Gene Cordell, one of the most boring speakers I've ever studied under. But he did have some solid information, and I did pay attention. Surprisingly enough, it's not that difficult to work with the women in the morning, play with the children in the afternoon, and listen to the stories of the hunters or the elders in the evening; I think Professor Cordell would be proud of me, don't you?"

"That depends; were you graded on your obfuscation skills, or is that something you picked up on your own?"

"Hey, don't knock it; there are times when obfuscation is an important anthropological survival tool." Blair winked broadly, amid continuing snickers. "But I really did pay attention to 'women's work' -- it's interesting to see the similarities and differences in customs of cooking or gardening or whatever. That was later, though; I learned most of my gardening skills from Uncle Buck when I was twelve. At first it was discipline, and I hated it. Uncle Buck had a hoe that he named 'Old Guss', and it was the bane of my existence. Later, though, I really got into it, and when I bit into the first tomato that came off 'my' vine -- well, it was pure magic. Working in a garden is as good as meditation -- and you get something for it, besides. And the brothers at Saint Sebastian's have a large garden; I helped out there when I visited. For me, it's like... getting back to my roots." Jim snorted, and Blair shrugged. "No pun intended, man."

"Well, you certainly don't need my permission. If you think you can fit it in between school and the PD and the sentinel stuff, have at it. Just be sure you don't bite off more than you can chew." Jim retired discreetly behind his newspaper.

Blair groaned theatrically. "Oh, man, you've been waiting for that, haven't you? But I guarantee, you'll eat your words before the summer's over." He ducked the tossed pillow, caught it and threw it back, and went back to his own reading.

Ten minutes passed, and then Blair straightened and slapped himself -- gently -- upside the head. "Compost!" he exclaimed.

"Sandburg, you come home smelling like compost, and you're sleeping on the roof," Jim said, without looking up.

"Hey, I'm not that fond of the smell, myself; I'll have to make sure I handle it last, and stop somewhere -- the gym, maybe -- to shower and change afterward. But properly-managed compost only has to be turned every ten days or so, and that's only if you're in a hurry, but of course I am, kind of. If I start now, it'll probably be ready by the middle of May. And there's nothing better to enrich your garden soil than good compost. Do you suppose one of the dairies will deliver some manure? I'll only need a cubic yard or so; a bin bigger than three foot square is just--"

"Tell you what, Sandburg," Jim interrupted. "You refrain from inflicting me with the nitty-gritty details, and I'll refrain from saying 'I told you so' if your garden grows nothing more than a few weeds."

"Ha!" Blair retorted. "More like, I won't hit you with 'I told you so' when you're reaching for your third ear of grilled sweet corn and you bite into it with butter dripping down your chin."

"Loser cooks for the winner for a week -- takeout not allowed?"

"Done!"

Jim turned to the sports section while Blair grabbed paper and pen and started to plan the perfect garden. Tomatoes, of course, and sweet corn. Zucchini; he knew some killer recipes. Carrots and maybe sweet peppers. Squash? Couldn't hurt. Maybe...

"Hey, Jim, green beans or sweet peas?"

"Peas."

Blair scribbled a few more lines, then carried his notes to the computer. Hooray for the Internet; he wouldn't have to wait for seed catalogues to be delivered.

A few moments later, Blair stared at the computer screen. Who knew? Forty varieties of tomatoes? Nineteen of squash, twenty-six of carrots? And this was only from one catalog! How the hell was he supposed to choose?

Obviously, he'd have to visit a few of the local garden centers, and talk to people more knowledgeable than himself. But a little prior research would help him understand the suggestions, and allow him to discuss the pros and cons of different varieties. Blair reached for his pen, and soon had several pages of notes. This was gonna be so cool!



Early April

The day had started out mild, with warm sunlight suggesting that Spring had finally arrived, despite the forecast of storms tomorrow. Blair had left early, face split by an eager smile. "Leave my share of the chores and I'll do them tomorrow. Can't waste a day like this; gotta make hay -- or a garden -- when the sun shines. Besides, we've got a communal planning meeting scheduled; Saturday is the best day to get everyone together at once. Well, most of us, anyway. See ya' later, man." He was out the door like a gusty April breeze, swirling quickly and gone.

Jim finished a leisurely breakfast, then decided to clean all the kitchen cabinets; no reason he couldn't get an early start on Spring cleaning. With that out of the way, he and Sandburg might have time to wax the floors tomorrow. He put on a Santana CD and cranked up the volume; some music was best appreciated when it filled the room, despite sentinel senses.

By three, he was aware that the promised storm wouldn't wait till tomorrow to hit. Dark clouds were hanging low while the wind whistled viciously through the streets, and the temperature had dropped fourteen degrees. Jim built a fire and soon had it burning strongly; by the time Blair got home, his perpetually-cold friend would want all the warmth he could get.

The leading edge of rain was hitting the balcony windows when Blair blew in as precipitously as he had left, laughing and shaking the drops from his hair. "Ooo-WHEE! How changeable can the weather get, anyway? Still, April showers bring May flowers, and I don't suppose it matters whether they're on a rosebush or a tomato vine." He hung up his coat, toed off his wet, muddy sneakers onto the newspaper that Jim had spread under the coathooks, and headed into the kitchen. "After all that, I need a beer. How about you?"

"I'm good," Jim replied, lifting the half-full bottle by his elbow and relaxing into his book now that Blair was home safe.

"Oh, right, right; I didn't notice." Blair carried his beer into the living room, where he sank cross-legged to the floor with his back to the fire, almost close enough to singe his flannel. "Man, you are a prince!" he declared. "The past couple of hours reminded me of the reasons I don't want to be farmer; if gardening is more than a hobby, there's too many times you have to suck it up and keep working in the bad weather, regardless." He scooted a half-inch closer to the delightful heat.

"You're welcome." Jim hid his smirk; Blair was soaking up the warmth like a big cat. But maybe wolves also liked to bask when they weren't hunting. "So, did you have a good -- as in productive -- day?"

"Oh, man, it was stupendous! Everyone was there except for Big Al and Susanna, and they'd already told us what they wanted. So we got everything planned and staked out. It's gonna be so cool -- a real community effort, instead of each family separate." Blair set aside his beer and scrambled to his feet, hurrying toward his bedroom. "In fact, I need to make notes; there'll be a great paper in this by the time we finish."

He returned with a spiral notebook, grabbed his beer, and plopped on the couch. Balancing the notebook on his knee, Blair started sketching as he explained the proposed garden. "Okay, you know that block on Lavaliere, between thirty-eighth and thirty-ninth, with 'Big Ben's Carpet Warehouse' store on one end and the 'Rama-Dama Hardware and Lumberyard' on the other? That's our north boundary; the vacant lot is south of those walls. And the best thing is, all the buildings around the other sides are three stories or less, and except for those two big stores, everything is across the relevant street, which means plenty of sun can reach the ground. It's a great spot, and pretty central in that community; we couldn't ask for better."

"Sandburg, that's not the safest part of town," Jim objected, "and it's over ten miles away."

"That's why Henry Ford invented cars," Blair replied, still drawing on the page. "And people live there permanently, some of them right across the street; I think I can spend a few hours a week without risking life and limb. Okay, look. We've divided the area into four major parts, separated by paths through the middle -- north-south and east-west -- and with a path going around the outside perimeter. Then each big area is divided into eight sections, laid out four wide and two deep. So all of the plots meet a path on the short end -- no traipsing through someone else's plot to reach your own -- and half of them have another path on the long side. Those are for the folks who have mobility difficulties; hopefully, they can go more directly to the plants they need to tend, with less walking."

"'Mobility difficulties'? What, you have grannies with walkers trying to garden?" Jim's voice was challenging in his disbelief.

Blair shook his head in disgust. "Join the real world, man; gardening is highly recommended for the elderly, or someone with arthritis. It gets them out in the fresh air, it's gentle, low-impact exercise, and it gives them other people to socialize with. One of the salespeople at Rama-Dama -- Cindy -- is working a plot, and she's convinced management to donate a couple of those low, wheeled gardening seats, so everyone will be able to maneuver easily. And then there's Susanna and Caleb, who are both wheelchair-bound, so we're building a couple of raised beds right here." He used his finger to indicate the stretch of land next to the carpet and lumber stores. "First we'll put plastic over them to make cold-frames, so we can get an early start with tomatoes and peppers. When they're all transplanted to the garden proper, the plastic comes off and Caleb and Susanna can put in their main crops."

Jim was fascinated in spite of himself; the planning seemed almost as detailed as a military maneuver. "What's this block right in the middle? And that little square between the raised beds?"

"The big one in the middle is compost; we decided to make two bins, back-to-back. With that location, no one has to walk too far to get a load and take it back to their plot. The soil isn't in great shape; we'll all need to use the compost -- which, by the way, is already starting to look composty." Blair's voice was decidedly smug. "The one against the back wall is the tool-shed; we figured it'd be easier to lock them up at night instead of carrying rakes, hoes, and spades back and forth when we want to work. Everybody has a key to the padlock."

Jim snorted his disgust. "I give it two nights before some hopped-up meth-head who needs a fix breaks in to hock your tools for his next score. You'll spend more in replacing tools than you'll save in growing your own vegetables."

"Maybe," Blair acknowledged. "We talked it over and decided we're willing to risk it. We're banking on community feeling; about three-fourths of the adults are bringing their kids into it, getting them involved, and a bunch of those are teenagers. Hopefully, if they have a feeling of 'ownership', they won't let -- or help -- their buds steal anything. And like I said, several of the families live right across the street; they'll be able to keep an unofficial eye on things." He shrugged, and continued putting the finishing touches on his sketch. "If we're wrong, and someone does steal them, then we'll keep the replacements at home. But people generally live up to -- or down to -- what others expect of them, so we're just expecting them to be honorable."

"I think you're heading for a fall, Sandburg, but I admire your principles. I just hope that won't be another 'I told you so'." Jim lifted his neglected book and located the paragraph where he'd stopped reading.

"Jim, I know being a cop affects your world-view, but you could try being a little more open-minded. I'll be the one saying, 'I told you so'." Blair ignored his friend's dismissive grunt, and pulled his laptop out of his backpack. He started a new document, then sipped his beer as he considered a working title. Okay. 'Social Interactions Within the Paradigm of Community Gardening.' Yeah, that sounded suitably intellectual. He started typing.



Late April

"So, how goes the garden, Sandburg?" Jim asked casually. Not that he really cared, of course, but listening to the kid rattle on would help while away the tedium of this stakeout.

Blair's smile flashed brightly, even in the dimness of the cab. "Oh, man, better than I even expected! Next weekend we'll be putting in most of the seeds, and the weekend after we plan to transplant the tomatoes and peppers from the cold frames into the main garden. It's coming together just great!"

Jim snorted. "Most people wouldn't give the accolade 'great' until they started eating what they'd grown, but you don't even have any seeds in the ground. I think your definition needs work."

"That outlook is too narrow," Blair insisted. "If this was an experiment in community social interaction, we'd already have an A-plus. The kids have been staying after school to use the Internet, or going to the library to do research in organic gardening and pest management; they have all sorts of plans for getting the best growth possible from every square foot. And the adults -- everybody knows somebody who knows somebody, you know? Pete has a friend who's a farmer; on Friday he's coming with his tractor to spread the compost around. He'll use the harrow to work it into the soil, so we're spared the backbreaking work of doing it by hand. And Concetta knows one of the grooms at the riding stables out near the country club; after the seeds sprout, he'll bring a couple of pickup loads of used bedding straw so we can have a good mulch."

"I'm impressed, Chief," Jim admitted. "Do I detect your fine hand in persuading everyone to work as a team?"

Blair shrugged a shoulder and shook his head with a half-grin. "Not really. I've made a few suggestions to point them in a couple of directions they might not have thought of, but then they pick up the ball and run with it. I don't want to be the stuffed-shirt professor who just gives orders so everyone will do things his way, you know? I want everyone to be able to look back and know they did it themselves -- and they'll be able to do it again next year, and the next, and the next, no matter who's in the group, or who gets too busy to show up and help." He chuckled and winked. "Of course, that doesn't keep me from telling stories about methods used by the indigenous people in various parts of the world, that can be so easily adapted to our garden."

"Oh, yeah? Like what?"

"Like -- we can plant potatoes along with the corn. The potatoes grow deeper than the roots of the corn, and the top growth chokes out the weeds between the rows of corn. Since potatoes aren't dug up until after the corn has been eaten, we can get two vegetables from one patch of ground.

"Or like -- fish heads and guts make great fertilizer. We'll go to the fresh-fish market down by the docks, and bring back a couple of baskets of their trimmings; just drop in a bit of gooiness before you drop in the seeds."

"This 'we' better not include me, Sandburg," Jim growled. "And don't even think about asking to borrow the truck."

Blair threw him an exasperated look. "Like I wouldn't know what you'd say before I even asked. Not that I want that stuff in my car, either, even though it'll be fresh. I figure I'll set it on the trunk lid, tie it down real good, and just drive slow."

"Sounds like you really have it all planned out," Jim said, more intrigued than he wanted to be. He kept his eyes on the suspect house, trusting Blair to use the comment and keep running with it.

"Oh, yeah! Susanna -- I told you about her, in the wheelchair? -- she knows more about organic gardening than all the rest of us put together. We're planting dill next to all the tomato plants; it'll attract the tomato hornworms, and they'll be easy to pick off and squash. And everyone who drinks beer is donating one can or bottle." He waited expectantly; the question just had to come.

Jim didn't disappoint. "Let me guess. You pour it around the cucumbers and anyone who eats them gets pickled."

Blair chuckled. "That might be an interesting taste experiment. But if you set out beer in shallow bowls, it attracts slugs and they'll drown."

"Sounds like a waste of good beer."

"Not when you consider the damage they do," Blair argued. "A couple of cans of beer is a small price to pay for unchewed-on veggies."

Jim lifted a hand for quiet, head tipped to one side. "Hold on, Chief; I hear a car starting, and I think it's his."

A moment later, the garage door was eased carefully upward, with as little noise as possible. The blue Mustang backed cautiously into the street, then drove off slowly, running without lights. Jim let it get a block ahead, then eased the truck forward to follow.

Blair picked up the mic. "Shall I call it in?"

"Advise them that we're in slow pursuit up Connelly, but to wait until we call for backup. We want this guy to lead us to the source; can't take a chance on him running if he sees something suspicious."

In the subsequent successful capture, the question of beer and vegetable gardens was shelved until later -- or, for all Jim cared, till never.



Early June

Jim dragged himself wearily up the stairs. It was ridiculous how beat he felt, just from spending a day in court. He didn't feel like doing a thing. Maybe he could get Sandburg to order a pizza, then put a slice in his mouth for him. But Jim didn't know if even that was worth it; he'd still have to do his own chewing.

When he opened the door, he was struck by the light scent, kind of spicy but earthy. "Sandburg, what gives?" he demanded.

Blair saved the document on his laptop and pushed back his chair. "Hey, Jim, glad you're home!" He smiled at his partner and hurried into the kitchen. "I've got a treat for us tonight. Some of the early tomatoes and peppers are ripe already, so I've made green tomato soup with ham. Plenty of ham; I won't force you to eat a meatless meal," he added with a wink. "You go wash up, and I'll start grilling the cheese sandwiches to go with it."

Jim was too tired to argue, but once the bowl was in front of him, he stared doubtfully at the contents. "Green tomato soup? I thought you said they were ripe."

"We planted different varieties, so we'd have them ripening all summer long. I picked some ripe and some green; the recipe uses both. And don't give me that face."

"What face?"

"The face that says, 'I do not like green eggs and ham'. After all his fussing, that guy discovered he liked it after all. So save the complaints and give it a try; at least one bite won't kill you."

"Such reassurance," Jim muttered, but he swallowed a spoonful under Blair's watchful eye. Hmmm... interesting. He lifted another spoonful. Different... but not actually bad. He dipped his spoon again. And -- he picked up a golden-brown triangle -- it went real well with the cheese sandwich.

"That was good, Sandburg; thanks," Jim said when there was nothing left but crumbs on the plate and dregs in the bowl. It was amazing how much better he felt after a good meal; still tired, of course, but no longer at the 'rode hard and put up wet' end of the spectrum. "Think you can make it again some time?"

Blair chuckled, and waved a hand toward the large pot on the stove. "It's soup, man! Nobody makes enough for only one meal. We can save some in the fridge for later this week, and freeze the rest for the nights we're too late or tired to cook. But, yes, I can always make more -- one thing we'll have plenty of this summer is tomatoes."

"How?" Jim asked. "I mean, if you have so many varieties of tomatoes that you'll have some all summer, how did you have space to plant anything else?"

"I told you we were making a community garden, instead of each family acting alone." Blair shrugged easily. "You know, the output from just a couple of tomato or squash vines can feed six or eight families. So we planned it all out. Like, six of us are growing early tomatoes, six growing mid-season, and six have planted late-season varieties. Whatever's ripe, we all take home what we want or need, and if anything's left after that, we share it in the neighborhood. We kind of put in our orders -- what everyone wants more of or less of -- and planted accordingly, from corn to zucchini. It's working so well that Caleb and Miriam are already talking about doing the same thing next year, and getting more people involved." Blair rose and started carrying the dishes to the sink.

"Sounds suspiciously like Communism, Chief."

"Big surprise -- it is a form of communism. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need'," Blair quoted. "The thing is, communism can work -- if the group is small, and everyone can see who pulls his weight and who doesn't. It's when you get past the 'neighborhood' level that it falls apart. As soon as things are complicated enough that you need supervision and leaders and people who know other people only as names instead of individuals, that's when some of them start working the system to their advantage -- which automatically disadvantages everyone else." He pulled down some freezer-savers from the cupboard, and began to pour the leftover soup into them.

Jim watched thoughtfully. "So, it doesn't matter what you're actually tending; you can have part of anything in the garden?"

"Pretty much," Blair said cheerfully. "Some things I didn't request -- never did cotton to broccoli, and I figure jalapenos would be too hot for you, no matter how little I used."

"Think you could bring home a couple or three good-sized green tomatoes for the weekend?"

"Not a problem," Blair assured him. "Why d'you want 'em?"

"Sally used to make fried green tomatoes; she got the recipe from Mrs. Delaney down the street."

"Raised in the South?" Blair guessed.

"Oh, yeah; her accent was pure cornpone. But fried green tomatoes were a real treat when I was a kid, and it's been a long time since I had any. Might have 'em with pork chops for dinner on Saturday."

"Sounds good, man. I'll pick some up Friday afternoon."



Mid July

Henri studied his cards while he dipped a tortilla chip in the garden salsa spooned onto his plate. "This stuff is damn good, Hairboy," he said, crunching happily. "What all's in it?"

"Oh, some tomatoes, green pepper and onions, mixed with a little bit of olives, basil and parsley -- and all from our garden," Blair boasted, grandly buffing his fingernails on his shirt. "Well, except for the olives." He discarded a card and nodded to Simon -- the dealer for this round -- who passed him another one.

"Nothing fermented or moldy this time?" Joel asked slyly.

Blair chuckled. "Not unless you force me. Fair warning; if I lose, someone else will pay the price."

"I like this pineapple-and-zucchini bread," Rafe said, cutting himself another piece. "Who would've thought they'd go together so well?"

"Nothing surprises me anymore," Jim said. "The kid had me eating carrot pancakes this morning -- and liking them."

"Well, I'm surprised," Simon rumbled. "I thought gardening would leave him too little time to fall into trouble." He stared meaningfully at the butterfly bandaids that closed the two-inch cut on Blair's forehead. "I know you're talented, Sandburg; couldn't you use a little of that talent to stay out of trouble?"

"Hey, it's not my fault the guy couldn't look where he was running!" Blair protested. "I was just walking with Sandra in the park and then boom! At least it slowed him up enough for the uniforms to catch him."

Jim shook his head. "Forget it, Simon. Talking won't help. I'm ordering complete protective gear for him -- shin- and knee-pads, elbow pads, helmet with faceguard, kevlar vest, the works. Maybe then we can cut the injuries down to once a quarter." He pushed two chips into the middle of the table. "I'm in."

"Says the man known to every EMT in the city," Blair retorted. "I hear they have laminated 'Jim Ellison Identification' cards so all the newbies will know who you are." He tossed his own chips onto Jim's. "Yeah, me too."

Gardening and casualties were forgotten as the group settled down to the serious business of poker.



Early September

"Hey, Jim, take a gander; tell me what you think." Blair handed him a sheet of paper, still warm from the printer. Jim closed the case file folder he'd brought from work, and acceded to his partner's request. Blair stood anxiously in front of him as he read:

AUTUMNAL EQUINOX

We're having a big Harvest Picnic
and a Celebration of Life.
We'd like you to join our festivities.
Good food, good friends, and a few games.

Date: Saturday, September 21st, 1996
Time: 11 AM - dusk
Place: The Rama-Ben Community Garden
from Lavaliere to Sunderson, between 38th and 39th

The garden and its members will provide
a variety of hot and cold vegetable dishes.
Bring your own meat and drink.

For more information, call
Caleb Winters @ 555-3709
or
Concetta Garcia @ 555-2693

"So, how's it look? Do we need to put anything else in the invitation? Do you think people will come?"

"Who?" Jim asked. Sandburg usually ran ideas past him first, but this had come out of the blue. What was going on?

Blair was bouncing -- in excitement? In nervousness? "Everyone, of course! Friends and family, but we're going to invite the people in the area who didn't participate. And I want to invite the guys in Major Crime, and some of the other people from the PD. Maybe even pass the flyers around the precinct that covers that area -- the Thirty-Third, isn't it?"

"Why?"

"Well, jeeze, Jim -- citizens and police at the same party; it's bound to improve relations between the groups. Especially since it's kind of a spontaneous idea from the people themselves, instead of an official 'mixer' dictated by any kind of authority."

"No, I mean -- Labor Day was just three days ago. Why didn't you have your party then?" Jim felt as if he had missed a step, somewhere. "Whoever heard of an equinox celebration?"

Blair snorted. "Oh, the Celts, the Romans, the Saxons, the Druids, the Mayans, various Native American tribes... shall I go on? The equinoxes and solstices have been recognized by cultures around the world for thousands of years, and people have celebrated them all in various ways. The Fall Equinox celebrated the successful harvest, with its assurance that life would continue through the cold winter. The cycle of seasons was meaningful, and important. Stonehenge was aligned so that the solstices and equinoxes could be accurately determined. This is big stuff, man."

"Okay, but what makes it better to celebrate this instead of, say, the next full moon? And will you light somewhere? I'm not going to take your toys away."

Blair perched on the arm of the yellow chair, hands flying as he tried to express his enthusiasm. "Not better, just -- it's just a spontaneous upwelling of feeling, probably elicited by some primitive instinctual response. A good harvest is like a sign of good fortune for the coming year, and even the heavens are aligned -- equal light and equal dark -- to show their approval. Since it's common to almost all times and cultures, it must be practically hard-wired into the human psyche." He paused, looking thoughtful. "I should add that to my paper -- or maybe start another one. I could compare and contrast the activities used to celebrate the Autumn Equinox across the different cultures and eras." He bounced up as if to start immediately, but Jim interrupted.

"Hold it, Darwin; let's finish this first. There's going to be a party." Blair nodded. "Hosted by...?"

"Every single person who was part of our gardening project! And we're all bringing a couple of big pans of our best vegetable dish, to share with each other and all our guests."

"And those who bring meat, or something else that needs to be served hot will cook it on...?"

"Everyone who has a grill will bring it around ten, and get the charcoal started. I can take ours, right?"

Jim merely waved a hand in permission. "And plates, cups, ice, utensils?"

"Delegated, man. What, you think I have to do everything? The ladies of the community are taking care of that part of it."

A broad smile crossed Blair's face. "I've got it all planned. I have a killer recipe for a vegetable lasagna, and a tomato-and-zucchini fettuccini. I'm thinking about a ham-and-tomato quiche, too, but I'll have to figure out the logistics. Do you suppose if we cook it here, it can be heated up again on a grill? Maybe I should make it one night, and save it, and try heating it on the grill the next night. What meat should we bring? Pork chops are good, but they can be hard to cut on a paper plate with a plastic knife, but hamburgers are so ordinary. Maybe --"

"Fish," Jim said abruptly. "We'll go down to the docks and get some really fresh fillets. There's nothing like green tomato relish on fried or grilled fish; Mrs. Delaney taught Sally how to make it, and I used to watch. I'll make a big batch."

"Oh, yum!" Blair's enthusiasm was reaching Olympic heights. "And Susanna's bringing scalloped tomatoes, Caleb's bringing summer squash stuffed with pepperoni, and Cindy's talking about a really great zucchini dish she makes. She cuts it down the middle, cooks it, then mixes the insides with onion, tomato, Italian pork sausage, and croutons. She puts everything back in the rind, then puts it back on the grill. Right before it's finished, she sprinkles it with Mozzarella and waits till it melts before serving. I can't wait to wrap my taste buds around that."

Jim smiled tolerantly and reached for the discarded file folder. "Well, it sounds like you have your end planned out, and I don't have to do anything right now. Next time you go to the garden, bring back half a dozen big green tomatoes, and I'll make the relish; it tastes better if it's been allowed to sit for a week or two." He turned his attention back to the case file while Blair booted up his laptop, muttering to himself. "Recipes. Bet I can find a bunch on the net. We still have lots of carrots, and all those potatoes..."



Saturday, September 21

They couldn't have had a better day for an outdoor shindig if they'd ordered it, Blair thought. The sun shone from a cloudless sky, mild breezes kept the temperature moderate, and the former garden looked good as an outdoor community festival center. Several of the girls had asked that the dried cornstalks be saved after all the ears had been picked. Those stalks were now tied in a giant, teepee-like sheaf in the middle of the grounds, with a circle of squash and zucchini around the base; they'd light it at dusk, to form a giant bonfire that would signify the end of the festivities. The officers from the Thirty-Third had showed up with bunches of helium-filled balloons, which were now tied to the assortment of folding chairs and lawn chairs that people had brought; the brightly-colored globes bobbed gaily in the air currents, unable to escape their tethers.

In one empty garden plot, Joel -- Joel? Who would've thought? -- had gathered a group of teens for a game of horseshoes. In another, the group around Big Al was laughing uproariously as they tackled the fine old art of bobbing for apples. A bunch of pre-teens shrieked happily as they played tag, while others kicked around a soccer ball. Over it all floated the occasional strains of music. One of the older girls had brought her boombox, and had become the de facto disc jockey for the day. Fortunately, she kept the volume to reasonable levels -- perhaps to avoid draining the batteries too soon.

More than a dozen folding tables held an assortment of food -- not only vegetable dishes, but also bread, hot rolls, and chips of various kinds, not to mention cookies, pies, and cakes. The adults -- those not playing with the children, or manning one of the many grills -- mingled and chatted easily. Blair could discern no separation between gardeners and non-gardeners, or between neighborhood dwellers and police personnel. He felt ridiculously pleased. Certainly, he had had only minor input into bringing this celebration to life, but somehow it felt like a personal vindication. If met halfway, people could -- and would -- get along, instead of breaking into splinter groups.

Another laughing shriek split the air, and Blair turned again to be sure that Jim wasn't having difficulty with his senses. Far from it; Jim was holding court -- there was no other word for it -- at the grill they'd set up, teasing the women and joking with the men as he tended the fish they'd brought, serving each portion with a generous helping of his green tomato relish. Despite the ever-changing crowd of people, the chaotic activity and the rather high noise levels, Jim seemed to be handling the input with aplomb. Maybe being outside helped, Blair speculated; sounds could escape without bouncing back from enclosing walls, and Jim's senses could anchor themselves with the natural surroundings -- even if the area was limited to only part of a city block.

Blair allocated about twenty percent of his consciousness to 'keep an eye on Jim', another twenty percent to 'observe the interactions for inclusion in my paper', and used the remaining sixty percent to simply enjoy the day. He took a turn at horseshoes, winning that round handily, then dropping out to let others have a chance to shine. On the other hand, he was no more successful at bobbing for apples than anyone else, and wondered what evil genius had invented the game.

Enough playing. The delectable smells had been enticing Blair since he and Jim had arrived; it was time to do something about filling his complaining belly. He grabbed a pair of plates and moved along the tables. The variety of dishes made choosing difficult, but he soon had both plates filled with small helpings of a wide assortment of food, in an attempt to taste everything.

Blair carried the plates to where Jim manned the grill, gave one to his partner, and accepted a perfectly-grilled fillet onto his plate, to which he added a large dollop of the green tomato relish. A raised eyebrow asked if Jim wanted to join him; a half-shrug and a grin told him that his friend planned to stay until he had cooked and served all the fish they'd brought.

Blair looked around and, spying a cluster of his fellow-gardeners, crossed to join them. Susanna and Cindy were playing with Susanna's newest granddaughter, an alert six-month-old, while they traded stories of the trials and tribulations of raising children. He joined the conversation easily, with anecdotes that demonstrated similarities and differences in child-tending practices from cultures and countries around the world.

As dusk approached, the teen disc jockey turned the music louder, and several couples began dancing. The impetus spread, and Blair smiled to see what could only be described as 'mixed couples' as teens demonstrated and taught the current dance steps to younger children, or peers of their grandparents. Jim joined Blair, sitting shoulder to shoulder with him, watching as the dancing reached an instinctive crescendo. The music ended just after the sun sank below the buildings on the west side of the street. There was an almost breathless pause as Big Al moved to a vantage point where he had a view of the horizon between buildings. The gathering waited... and waited... until Big Al shouted triumphantly, "It's down!"

Everyone cheered. Then, by prearrangement, the eldest female -- eighty-eight years old and known to everyone as 'Grandma Perkins' -- and the youngest male -- Cindy's four-year-old nephew -- approached the central display of cornstalks. Grandma Perkins used a prosaic long-barreled lighter and, with little Cory's hand over hers, they lit an outer stalk and stepped back.

The dry stalks caught quickly, and the entire sheaf was soon burning vigorously as the crowd cheered again. Jim leaned down to speak quietly to Blair. "They've taken precautions against the fire spreading, right?"

Blair nodded. "Two hoses," he gestured to them, one to each side of the blaze, "both with the water turned on. All we need to do is twist the nozzle open if we need them."

The crowd grew quiet as they watched the bonfire burn down to ashes, and then several of the teens jumped gleefully on the hoses and doused the embers until they were safely cold.

It was over. With the sun down, the air was growing decidedly chill, and the day of festivities had left all participants pleasantly tired. People chatted haphazardly as they packed up the remains of the feast, and loaded tables and chairs to carry them home. Jim lugged the grill to the truck, while Blair juggled folding chairs, thermos and one last jar of green tomato relish.

Just before they climbed into the truck, Blair look back at the now empty garden. "You know, it was a lot of work -- more than I remembered -- but it was really worth it."

"Making new friends and working with people who share your goals is always worth it, Chief. I'm glad it lived up to your expectations."




Blair dropped his burden on the kitchen island. "Okay, man, you owe me, remember?"

"What are you talking about, Chief?"

"I promised not to say 'I told you so', but you're cooking dinner for the next week -- and no takeout."

"Sandburg, this is a bet I don't mind losing, and with all the goodies you've brought home lately, finding something to cook won't be a problem. What do you say to beef-stuffed zucchini tomorrow?"

"I say, red wine or white with that?"

"We're men, Chief. Beer, of course."

"It's a date, big guy. And maybe we should start making plans for next summer."

"Sandburg!"



The End




My thanks to LKY, who graciously gave me permission
to mention her beloved Uncle Buck in my story.







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Title: ...Of the Plains
Summary: Descriptive scene
Style: Gen
Size: 100 words, about .2 page in MS Word
Warnings: None
Notes: Icon challenge, Feb 3, 2007
Feedback: Not necessary, but every one is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a comment that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





...Of the Plains

by StarWatcher






They rode onward, toward the promise of a nighttime camp. Jim saw it first, then Blair. It stood on sturdy legs, stark against the summer-clouded sky.

Blair watched the whirling blades as they ate, listened to the wheel's creaking as it spun, the water splashing as it fell from the pipe into the stock-tank. "They remind me of you, Jim. They watch over the plains and protect the creatures around; their water sustains life and the trees that grow nearby give shelter. I wish I could paint a picture -- windmill, clouds, and trees. I'd call it 'Sentinel of the Plains'."

The End






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Title: Xena Studies
Summary: Blair finds sentinel clues in unusual places.
Style: Gen
Size: 1,220 words, about 3 pages in MS Word.
Warnings: None
Notes: July, 2003. Challenge story.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Xena Studies

by StarWatcher






The ululating cry filled the living room and wafted out to the balcony where the Sentinel stood, enjoying the early evening air while observing his city. He frowned in minor irritation, and walked through the glass doors to confront the culprit.

"Sandburg, don't you find that program just a little improbable? And yet you're taking notes! What're you doing, counting up the number of inaccuracies and improbabilities per minute?"

"What?" Blair looked up from the notes he was making on a yellow legal pad as he sat in front of the TV, watching 'Xena, Warrior Princess'. "Did you say something, Jim?"

"Yeah, Warrior Prince, I asked why you're so fixated on that crap. I can understand if you want to look at a lot of female skin, but it's hardly worthy of taking notes."

"Chill, big guy; just doing a little research on the possibility of Sentinels in non-indigenous cultures. It occurs to me that nuggets of sentinelism may be hidden in historically recent and current literature. Think about Sherlock Holmes for example -- finding clues where others don't see them, always in the company of Doctor Watson when he's on a case... even his reported opium use could have been to decrease the incidence of spiking senses."

"Are you serious?" Jim looked at the earnest gaze fixed so confidently on his. "You are serious." He shook his head in minor bafflement. "So what do you expect to gain by 'researching' the highly fictionalized accounts of what may or may not have been a Sentinel in nineteenth-Century England?"

Blair's tone was patience personified. "Jim, man, that's why it's called 'research'. I don't know what I might find, or what good it will be. As you suspect, it's quite possible that I'll find nothing." His grin showed that he wasn't the least bit bothered by the possibility. "But you never know... one phrase, or one story twist, could give me an idea that will simmer underground, then percolate to the surface of my brain when you need a better, more innovative way to make your senses give you the information you're trying to find. And if it doesn't give me anything..." he shrugged acceptance, "...there are worse ways to spend an afternoon than immersing myself in a good Sherlock Holmes mystery."

"Problem here, Chief." He crossed his arms and quirked an eyebrow at his friend. Maybe he could intimidate the kid into changing to a less offensive program. "You're not immersed in a good Sherlock Holmes mystery; you're fixated on a silly soap opera with strong Kung Fu overtones. You don't really see any sentinelism in Xena, do you?"

Blair was supremely unintimidated; he snickered at the disbelieving glare tossed his way. "Yeah, Jim, I really do. All the jumping and acrobatics she does suggest a hyper-aware kinesthetic sense to give her superior muscular control of her movements. I'll have to figure out a way to determine if yours is more highly-developed than mine, or another cop's." He ignored the long-suffering grimace that Jim directed his way. "In addition, she hears things nobody else can hear, and her vision must be phenomenal for her to aim and ricochet that chakram to hit her target -- and catch it without hurting herself, though that probably goes back to the kinesthetic awareness."

"Chief, I draw the line at tossing silver metal rings around; you stick to baseballs and I'll stick to my weapon. Want a beer?" He ambled into the kitchen and opened the fridge.

"Yeah, Jim, thanks." He accepted the cold bottle from his friend and took a long swallow while Jim sat on the other couch. "Well, I admit that the chakram-tossing thing is a little improbable, but I'm thinking of the possible factual nugget behind the hyped-up legend. So many times, if a person has unusual abilities, it's not enough for the storytellers to report those abilities -- they embellish and exaggerate to make the story 'better'. Then those stories are further exaggerated by the next storyteller, and the next and the next." He shrugged; the concept was one with which he was thoroughly familiar. "So, delving through the layers of enhancement, one can posit an individual with exceptional eyesight and exceptional kinesthetic sense, and at least above-average hearing; it's kinda hard to demonstrate 'exceptional' hearing through a visual medium."

Jim was caught; Sandburg might actually have something. "So you think that whoever thought up this Xena series was... what? Playing into old ideas of sentinel abilities?"

"Yeah, man, exactly! I think the idea -- or maybe the desire -- for a tribal protector resonates at a subconscious, maybe almost a genetic level. So we have Sherlock Holmes, and Hercules and Xena, and --"

"Wait a minute, Chief, Hercules was a half-god. You can't count that for sentinelism."

"Nuggets, Jim, nuggets. The half-god thing would be their explanation for the enhanced Sentinel abilities that they observed. They thought it couldn't be 'normal', so they ascribed it to something 'better' than normal, and assumed that the 'something' must have come from the gods.

"And now, when society as a whole doesn't accept the idea of actual, physical gifts given by the gods, science has become the method of explaining sentinel traits. We make our own, like the 'Six Million Dollar Man', or count it as an obscure inborn attribute -- which it is -- like 'Mutant X'."

Jim took a fortifying swallow of his own beer. "I guess I see your point, Chief, and it is somewhat entertaining, but I still don't see the use of it. I don't have implanted bionic senses, and you tell me I'm not a Mutant, so what good is this so-called 'research'?"

"I don't know, okay Jim? I already told you that. But it doesn't matter, man; knowledge is never wasted. We're still flying by the seat of our pants with making your senses work as efficiently as possible without any unpleasant side-effects for you. You've seen how my brain works --"

"Scary, Sandburg, very scary."

"-- and these ideas can become a hidden resource, waiting in my mental basement --"

Jim snickered. "Mental basement? That's deep, Chief."

Blair forged valiantly onward. "-- until a situation comes up where it might be useful, and I can maybe tie it in to other ideas and -- presto! -- another step in the control of your senses. Don't knock it, Jim; you know it works." With that, he turned his attention back to the TV, subject and conversation effectively closed.

Jim watched his friend for a few moments. It was amazing how much time and effort the man spent toward making this sentinel thing easier for him to handle. Jim knew that he wouldn't be half so comfortable with the situation -- might, in fact, be gibbering in a funny farm somewhere -- without the help and input of his guide always standing by his side. One of these days, he'd have to remember to thank him. With a small internal grin, the sentinel swallowed the last of his beer, then passed through the kitchen to toss the empty bottle into the recycling bin, and headed back out to the balcony. He would watch over his city, and his guide would watch over him; with backup like that, he had nothing to worry about.



The End



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Title: Lucky Two Hundred
Summary: Blair's mess is organized -- really it is!
Style: Gen
Size: 200 Words
Warnings: None
Notes: July, 2007. Double-drabble for Sentinel_Thursday's 200th challenge -- "200" in two hundred words.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every one is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a comment that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Lucky Two Hundred

by StarWatcher





Jim watched, arms crossed, as Blair rooted frantically through the papers on his desk. "Sandburg, I'd think you'd put something that important in a safe place, not where it could get buried under a year's worth of crap."

"Of course I put them in a safe place!" Blair snapped. "But that was two months ago, and I don't remember! Doesn't matter; I'll find them if I have to tear the room apart."

"In the next..." Jim checked his watch, "one hour and forty minutes? Otherwise, we'll miss the opening tip-off."

Blair straightened and surveyed his room, hand clenching his hair as he considered the best place to search. "You could help, you know."

"You're going about it all wrong. Stop and think; retrace what you did that day."

"Okay; the phone rang. It was a random radio-station call -- did I know when Napoleon's fleet was sunk -- and I won... oh, man!" Blair hurried to the wall shelves and carefully lifted the antique wooden tribal warrior. He triumphantly waved the tickets. "Duh! The answer was two hundred years, so I put them under my two-hundred-year-old Masai carving, and now we have box seats to Orvelle Wallace's two-hundredth home game. Let's go!"

The End




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Title: Wreath of Friendship
Summary: Christmas Challenge -- "Wreath"
Style: Gen
Size: 300 words, about .5 page in MS Word.
Warnings: None
Notes: Jim - Blair - wreath - talking.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every one is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a comment that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Wreath of Friendship

by StarWatcher





"What is all this stuff?" Jim asked, staring at the mess of pine branches, holly, pinecones and ribbon spread across the kitchen table, along with a gluegun and some heavy wire. Thank goodness Blair had at least covered the table with a layer of newspapers.

"Well, in an hour or so, it'll be a couple of wreaths -- one for us, and one for Major Crime."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

Why not, indeed. "Because it would be easier to buy a couple of wreaths, and a whole lot less disorganized; I don't expect to come home to a -- a -- trash-heap!"

Blair continued his work, hands busily twisting and turning, using the wire for stability, fashioning the pine branches into two circles. "If you hadn't come home early, the wreaths would've been finished, and the leftovers would've been down in the dumpster. And I'm making my own because I enjoy it, and because the symbolism is more meaningful if you put the work of your heart and hand into it." He carefully twined the holly around the circles of branches, the dark shiny leaves nestling in the dusky color of the pine.

"What symbolism?" Jim was intrigued; he sat across from Blair, watching the clever hands as they twisted pinecones into the developing wreaths, and glued them in place.

"Because the pine and holly are green all year long, they signify the everlasting life of the spirit -- or soul, if you prefer. The shape reminds us of the circle of life, of friends and family." Blair was tying red and white ribbons into small bows around one of the wreaths. Jim reached for the other wreath, and started to imitate Blair's actions.

"And then we hang it on the door to say 'Welcome' to all who would enter." Blair held up his creation, checking for flaws, tweaking a couple of ribbons until they sat just right. He shrugged slightly. "It's just something I like to do, if I can find any materials that are even remotely suitable. But I guess I did take liberties; I don't know how you like to celebrate Christmas. May I hang this wreath on your front door, Jim?"

As Jim returned Blair's steady, earnest gaze, he seemed to see a deeper meaning in his eyes. Blair was offering a circle of friendship. He'd known the kid such a short time; could he trust that offer?

Jim considered the help Blair had already given him, the changes he'd already made to improve Jim's quality of life. Blair had already gone far beyond the bounds of just researcher and subject, and there was every indication that he intended to continue for the foreseeable future. Difficult as Jim found it to trust, it would be stupid to reject such a generous, open-hearted offer.

"I don't think so, Chief." He rose and went to the tool drawer, then laid a hammer and nail on the table in front of Blair. "You may hang the wreath on our door."

The End




Author's Notes

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Title: He Who Laughs Last...
Summary: Blair hatches a get-even scheme.
Style: Gen
Size: 2,115 words, about 4 pages in MS Word
Warnings: None
Notes: Loft, dialogue, no action.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





He Who Laughs Last...

by StarWatcher





"Oh, HELL!"

Jim glanced up from the evening newspaper; he saw nothing unusual in the form hunched in front of the laptop. "What's the problem, Chief?"

"Hey, Jim, did you hear about the forgetful man and the Internet?"

"No, Sandburg, what about the forgetful man and the Internet?"

"Well, he was getting married, see, but he was very much like the original absent-minded professor. During the afternoon, his mother called to remind him that he had to be at the church the next day. His brother called that evening with the same message. But he knew how forgetful he was, so he sent himself an e-mail reminder. He figured, when he saw it in the morning, he'd be sure to remember. But his e-mail didn't show up the next morning. His bride-to-be married his best man on the spur of the moment. When the e-mail came through two days later, he dressed very carefully, drove to the church, and was astounded to find no one there. Now he's suing his ISP for mental anguish and alienation of affection."

Jim's brow crinkled; this was a little left-field, even for Blair. "Sandburg? You want to explain where this is coming from?"

"Yeah, man!" He ran his fingers angrily through his hair, tugging in frustration. "I just got an e-mail informing me that I have a very important, can't-miss-it-or-my-ass-is-in-a-sling junior faculty meeting -- yesterday! Dammit!"

"Come on, Chief, it can't be that bad; can't you just get the notes from somebody?"

"That's not the point, Jim. People who aren't present always get 'volunteered' for the scut jobs that nobody wants. Like I don't have enough to do as it is," he grumbled. "I just know they've tagged me to evaluate the optimum paper color for handouts, or something equally trivial. I tell you, man, I could easily develop a love/hate relationship with computers, no matter how useful they are; they suck us in by making things so much easier, then lose important pieces of information. At least a paper message would've been in my mailbox and I would've seen it when I went to the workroom to copy my quiz-sheets. E-mail that takes the long way around through cyberspace just sucks." He glowered at the monitor.

"I think you'll survive it, Sandburg," Jim retorted, folding the paper to the sports section. "If I know you, you'll just take a page out of Tom Sawyer's book and have everyone else doing the work for you." He returned to his reading, completely missing the thunderstruck look on his friend's face, and the calculating gleam in his eye.

"Tom Sawyer," he murmured. "Thanks, Jim. I'll be sure to keep that in mind..."




The next evening was Jim's turn to cook. Instead of offering his usual helping hand, Blair sat in front of his laptop; Jim heard the clicking as his friend apparently visited different webpages, interspersed with occasional chortling that sounded almost... evil, followed by the scratching of pen on paper. He wondered what Sandburg was up to; anyone who was on the receiving end of that imitation 'Beavis and Butthead' snicker would probably be most unhappy.

"Okay, close it up, Chief," he ordered, carrying the meatloaf to the table and setting it next to the salad. "Time to eat; you can finish your plans to take over the world later."

Blair set the laptop to 'sleep' mode and took his seat across from Jim, with a half-smile playing on his lips and a twinkle in his eye. "The world is a bit much, but if I work at it, I might be able to take over Rainier one day." He rubbed his hands together and affected a Boris Karloff accent. "They'll rue the day they volunteered me to find another source for the soft-drinks that are available in the machine in the teachers' lounge!" He smiled in sublime self-satisfaction as he put a large slice of meatloaf on his plate.

"You kids today," Jim mock-grumbled. "Can't you play nice? So when it's all over, will I have to haul your ass to jail, or just defend you from an angry mob?"

"Hey, man, nothing illegal!" Blair protested. "And some of them might even like the results. But -- well, maybe a small mob," he acknowledged. "I'll have to put it all together when I don't have to be on campus for about twenty-four hours afterward. Maybe Thursday; my class ends at ten, and I don't have office hours that day -- I can skip out until one o'clock on Friday." He nodded decisively to himself. "Yeah, that'll work."

"Sandburg, what will work?" Jim demanded, unable to contain his curiosity any longer.

Blair snickered as he chewed a mouthful of meatloaf. After swallowing, he took pity on Jim's outraged frustration. "It's like I said, Jim; when I wasn't at the meeting, I got 'volunteered' for the job nobody wanted. But thanks to your suggestion and Mark Twain's guidance, I've devised a fiendish plot to ensure that no one will ever again try to pull something like that on me." He nodded decisively as he speared another forkful of meatloaf.

"Fiendish plot?" Jim repeated. "I think you've been reading too many B-grade spy thrillers, Chief. So what've you got up your sleeve?"

"Just giving people what they want, Jim; you know what a helpful guy I try to be." But he quickly gave up his façade of wide-eyed innocence, letting the gleeful triumph show through. "It seems that some of our faculty want something a little less boring in the soft drinks machine, so I've been doing a bit of research. Not only will the new drinks not be boring, they'll be downright healthy. Now, really, how can they complain about that?"

Jim thought to himself that, as easy-going as Sandburg was, it was wise to remember that you really didn't want him pissed off at you; once he applied that amazing intellect toward getting even, you were doomed. "I dunno, Chief; if you're planning to load the machine with prune juice and V-Eight, I'll understand why you might have a mob after you."

"Oh, much better than that!" Blair assured him sunnily. "You know how I mentioned a love/hate relationship with computers? Forget about it, man; it's love all the way. Do you realize you can find anything you want on the Internet? Products from around the world are just a few key-strokes away, and it really is amazing just how diverse our planet it."

"So what diverse products are you considering, Sandburg?" Jim fortified himself with a large gulp of beer, wondering what could be worse than prune juice. Did algae shakes come in a can?

"Great stuff, man; look here." Blair grabbed the page full of notes from beside the laptop. "I think I'll start with 'Nature's Delight'; the blurb says it's a health drink made with apple juice, grape juice, and apple cider vinegar. That should get the taste buds tingling." He glanced down at his notes to refresh his memory. "And Himalayan Goji Juice sounds good, along with Asia Passion Juice. They're both full of vitamins and minerals, and supposed to be very healthy, as well as flavorful."

Jim didn't know whether to laugh or groan; trust Sandburg to stick to the letter of the assignment while managing to twist it out of recognizable shape. He shook his head slowly in disbelief, but Blair ignored the body language and carried on.

"I can't decide between the Korean Health Drink, made with garlic, onion, and cactus, or the XanGo Juice, made with the purée of the mangosteen fruit. They both sound interesting, but the machine can only hold six choices. And I gotta put in the Ginseng Green Tea and the Organic Green Tea Shake; the shake is supposed to be an anti-cancer and anti-oxidizer, and the ginseng is an energizer. That'll give everyone a nice range of choices, don't you think?" His gaze was innocence personified.

"Sandburg..." Jim felt peculiarly helpless in the face of this juggernaut. "If they want something different, why not just stock the machine with some of the weirder flavors of Snapple?"

Blair shook his head firmly. "No way, man! Why, Professor Martenson himself cornered me to put in a good word; he said, 'Mr. Sandburg, I know you'll do us proud.' As good as Snapple is, it's just too ordinary; you can buy it in any grocery store. I intend that my fellow faculty members get the best that money can buy." His voice dripped with firm self-righteousness.

Jim grasped at the offered straw, ignoring its frailty. "Speaking of money, how do you expect to pay for this, Chief? I'm not going to bail you out if you bankrupt yourself with this nonsense."

"What kind of fool do you think I am? No, don't answer that; I have a pretty good idea. But I do know how to do research. All of these drinks are available from West-Coast distributors; getting them here will be no problem at all. Of course, I expect they'll cost a bit more than canned soda; the machine will have to be set to a hundred-percent price increase, I think. But it's a small price to pay for health and good taste. I'm sure everyone will recognize that in a day or two."

"What they'll recognize is just what you intended, Sandburg. I'm sure they'll never tag you behind your back again. I just hope you can stand the fallout."

"Strangely enough, Jim, most of them can take a joke -- unlike some others I know, who shall remain nameless. But you're absolutely right; I think my message will come through loud and clear. Now eat up; your dinner's getting cold." He speared another forkful of meatloaf and chewed with evident satisfaction. "This is really good, by the way, but I bet it'd be even better with ostrich meat, or maybe a combination of ostrich and buffalo. When are you going to share your secret recipe so I can experiment with it?"

Jim grinned at the hopeful expression on his friend's face and gave a broad wink. "The key word is 'experiment', Chief. Have at it. I'll let you know when you're getting warm -- or maybe not."

"Oh, that's real grown up, man! I think you should consider -- I can experiment with your meatloaf recipe, or I can run some tests on your senses."

"Now who's being grown up?" Jim retorted amiably. "I'll see your senses testing and raise you extra cleaning duty; the bathroom's a mess, and it's mostly due to your long hair."

"Jim, to anyone but a sentinel, that bathroom would pass military inspection. How do you expect me to clean what I can't see?"

"I suppose I could stand over you and point out the areas you need to work on, but I can already hear the complaints. What d'ya say we call it a draw, clean up the kitchen, and watch 'Lethal Weapon Two' -- it starts in fifteen minutes."

"Popcorn with butter and cheddar?" Blair asked as he wrapped the leftover meatloaf for sandwiches the next day.

Jim was already scrubbing the dishes in the sink. "You're on, Sandburg. Nice to see you can be reasonable once in a while."

"Reasonable? I'll have you know that I'm the epitome of reason when I'm not dealing with a stubborn, hide-bound sentinel." Blair set the popcorn pan on the stove, poured a little olive oil into the bottom, and added a generous layer of popcorn kernels.

"Yeah, yeah, cry me a river. I may even care in five or ten years." Jim started shredding the cheddar to sprinkle through and over the popcorn -- none of that fake stuff in a jar for him -- while he kept an eye on the melting butter.

"Maybe instead of senses testing, I'll set up some sessions for practicing interpersonal skills." Blair was shaking the pan vigorously as the sound of popping corn rose to a crescendo. "You'd be surprised how far a little tact and diplomacy will get you, sometimes."

"I understand the concept, Sandburg, and can even use it when necessary. But when I'm shouting, 'Freeze! Cascade PD!', diplomacy just isn't necessary."

"Maybe not, but there're plenty of times you could use it, and don't. Maybe I could give you some pointers."

"Point your ass to the couch, Chief; the movie's starting." He carried the popcorn while Blair grabbed a couple of beers. They settled on opposite ends, with the popcorn bowl between them. Their bantering died as they watched the movie, each content simply to be spending time with his best friend. Chasing the latest perp and sabotaging the soda machine could wait for another day.



The End



Author's Notes

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Title: Quacks Like a Duck
Summary: Blair and animals -- always more complicated than expected.
Style: Gen
Size: 4,015 words, about 10 pages
Warnings: None
Notes: I dashed off this bit of fluff, March 21-24, 2008.
Feedback: Not necessary, but I certainly do like to get it!
Email: If you prefer not to post a comment that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org


Quacks Like a Duck

by StarWatcher





"It's on the table, Chief! Get your ass out here before it gets cold."

"Hey, thanks, man." Blair kicked his overstuffed backpack under the table as he slid into his chair; just last week, Jim had threatened to burn it -- and its contents -- if he found it lying in the middle of the loft's traffic patterns one more time. Blair spread jelly on his toast, used it to scoop up a hefty portion of scrambled eggs, and took an enthusiastic bite.

He was experienced at the procedure; one piece of toast accounted for half the eggs on his plate, and he reached for another. Midway through spreading the jelly, he paused, examining toast, jelly, and eggs. "Jim, you've corrupted me, and I never even noticed!"

Jim shook his head as he reached for his coffee. "Well, you should have known better than to fall for it; it's a well-known fact that scrambled eggs will bring about the downfall of Western civilization. Or is it the jelly-toast that has your shorts in a twist?"

"Both of them. They're so... so... plebian! Do you realize I haven't had an algae shake in four days?"

"And my nose is grateful."

"But my arteries are hardening."

"Tastes good, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, that's why it's so insidious."

"Sandburg, even you should realize that man cannot live by algae shakes alone; do you really want to down one of those while you watch me eating this culinary delight? Besides, you're a growing boy; eat up, it'll give you enough energy to get through your day."

"But --"

"Besides, didn't Naomi teach you not to waste food?"

"But --"

"And didn't you tell me that it's customary to eat the local diet and learn to enjoy it?"

"But that's diff--"

"However, if it offends you so much, I'll cook my own breakfast tomorrow, and leave you to your algae shake. I'm planning buttermilk waffles with fresh blueberries, but far be it from me to force you to eat food that offends you."

"Hey, I didn't say I was offended, just..." Blair paused. "Wait a minute. What are we arguing about? And I thought I was supposed to be the fast-talker in this relationship."

"Got'cha!" Jim's smile was broad and unrestrained as he slid the miniature tape recorder onto the table and pushed the 'off' button. "I had a bet with Brown that I could talk you to a standstill just once. So I've been planning, and I admit I set it up, but there's a twenty in it if you don't contest the verdict."

Blair snorted. "And of course you couldn't pass up the chance for a little macho posturing. Okay, but you owe me, man. Today's my short day, and I'll be in at twelve-thirty. I expect you to use your winnings to buy me lunch at Soup 'r' Salad."

"It's a date -- always assuming we're not knee-deep in handling some madman's latest attempts to take over the world."

"Not the world," Blair objected, "just Cascade -- or maybe the western seaboard, if they're really ambitious."

"It's only a matter of time, Chief; bound to happen sooner or later. With our luck, it'll be sooner."

"In that case, you can save your ill-gotten gains for next week, or the week after. Not even Cascade's criminal element can keep up the world-takeover bid twenty-four-seven; there'll be a break eventually."

"In the short term, you're right. But in the long run -- I suspect they're working on their plans even as we speak."

"No doubt." Blair shifted stance and vocal tone, and became a caricature of a late-night announcer. "But Sentinel-man and his mighty super-senses, with trusty Guide-boy at his side, sees all, hears all, smells all. Together, they will protect the Mighty City as its denizens go about their day, unaware of their good fortune."

Jim chuckled as he carried his dishes to the sink. "Yeah, well, trusty Guide-boy better stop talking and finish eating, or he'll be late to his job; he needs to maintain his alternate identity as Super-Teacher-Guy."

Blair rolled his eyes. "You need to work on your titles; they're a little flat." But he took Jim's advice and, ten minutes later, he shouldered his backpack and was out the door, as a "See ya for lunch," lingered in the air behind him.




They were walking back from lunch, taking advantage of the warm, sunny April day, when Jim paused, hand half-lifted to stop Blair. He stared at a short row of low evergreen shrubs that filled a brick planter in front of the Dollar Store, two doors down from the PD.

"What?" Blair whispered.

"There's something moving in there, Chief."

Blair considered the closely-spaced shrubbery. "Man, you are too much a cop! There's no way a grown man could hide in there -- not if he expected to move quickly enough to get out in time to rob or threaten or whatever. Use your senses to tell you what's in there -- I bet it's just a squirrel or something."

The angle was wrong to see through the dense cover, even with sentinel vision, and hearing gave him only anonymous rustlings. But the scent was familiar from countless fishing trips. Jim smiled. "Close, Chief, but no cigar. Let's see if we can get a look."

He glided toward the end of the planter and cautiously pulled some of the branches away from the wall behind the shrubbery. A quick look confirmed his identification, and he motioned Blair forward, raising a hand to his lips to ensure silence.

Blair squeezed between Jim and the wall, looking into the gap his friend had created. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the shadows, but then he saw it clearly -- a large duck, mottled brown with an orange bill, crouched on the wood chips that acted as a mulch under the bushes. Blair thought she was aware of his presence -- she was looking right at him, and panting slightly with her bill half-opened -- but apparently he had not crossed the 'danger line' that would persuade her to leave her nest.

Blair backed out, a huge grin splitting his face. "Wow! How cool is that? Do you know what breed it is?"

"It's a mallard, Chief; the hens aren't as colorful as the drakes. The question is, why is she nesting so far from water? The closest is the pond in Maple Park, and that's three blocks away."

"Well, she can fly." Blair's voice combined amusement with sarcasm. "It'll take her, what, two minutes to get there?"

"Long trip when the ducklings hatch, though. But I suppose she'll manage." Jim filed the duck under 'mildly interesting, unimportant', and continued walking toward the PD. "You ready to go to work? I want to check out the Latelli warehouse again."

"Manage? Manage what?" Blair trotted to catch up with his partner's longer strides, and then they were in the truck and heading out, and the question got lost in the minutiae of ferreting out the information Jim needed to solve his latest case.




"I made some notes," Blair announced, wandering from his bedroom with a couple of pages in hand.

Jim glanced up from watching the evening news. "On?"

Blair sat down on the other end of the couch. "The life cycle of the Mallard duck. I figured one parent would keep the eggs warm while the other went to eat, but it turns out the male doesn't help with the incubating; she's on her own until the eggs hatch."

"The species has continued for thousands of years, Chief; I'm sure she knows how to deal with the whole situation."

"Yeah, the information I found says she lines the nest with down from her belly, and pulls it over the eggs to hide them and help keep them warm when she has to leave."

"Like I said; she knows how to manage." Jim clicked off the news and carried his empty beer bottle into the kitchen.

"Right, right. But now that we know she's there..." Blair shrugged sheepishly. "Well, I thought I might bring her some water and food, so she wouldn't have to make so many trips away from the nest."

Jim was now making his final check of windows and doors. "So, you're going to be pouncing on bugs to present to her, like some kind of ducky boyfriend?" He chuckled softly. "You're just trying to give the gang something else to tease you about, aren't you?"

"Nah, mallards eat mostly grain; I can probably get some kind of wild-bird mix at a feedstore. As for teasing..." Blair opened his eyes wider and let his shoulders relax, looking impossibly earnest and geeky, and softened his voice. "Aw, guys, you expect me to leave her all alone in the middle of the city? If she gets hurt or killed, what do you think will happen to her babies? Cats, cars -- they wouldn't last out the day. Do you really think I should just ignore her? Could you just walk away from helpless little ducklings? I mean--"

Jim was leaning against the kitchen island, laughing heartily. "Of course, the fact that you actually feel that way is beside the point, isn't it?"

"Of course it is," Blair said, matching his grin. "So I give her a bowl of water and another of grain every day; the eggs will hatch in four weeks -- less if she's been incubating them a while. No big deal, you know?"

"Ri-i-i-ight." Jim headed up the stairs. "And tomorrow, all the criminals in Cascade will lay down their guns and voluntarily surrender to the police. See you in the morning, Chief."

"Yeah, goodnight, Jim," Blair called as he headed toward his own room. It was inevitable that Jim would be the first and foremost teaser, he reflected as he changed into the old thermal shirt he used for sleepwear and moved a stack of books off his bed so that he could climb under the covers. But really, what better way to score karmic points with the universe? And what could be simpler?




It was as easy as Blair had expected. He bought a fifty-pound sack of Gamebird Scratch -- a mixture of wheat, barley, oats, and corn -- and a large metal trashcan to pour it in to avoid attracting mice. He installed it in Jim's storage area in the basement, which meant he had to make a trip down each morning to fill the plastic container now labeled 'duck food', but it was a small effort. Then, whatever time he got to the PD, Blair stopped to check on the duck. She was always there, looking settled and content as she kept her eggs warm; with his visits a daily occurrence, she had learned to ignore his peering in at her. He'd fill her feed bowl with grain, and her water bowl from his thermos, then go up and meet Jim for whatever he had scheduled.

The routine continued for three weeks and four days. Blair was getting impatient; the research he'd done had indicated an incubation period of twenty-eight days. Could the time needed be as variable as a woman giving birth? Or was the duck vainly trying to hatch unfertilized eggs? Did ducks even lay unfertilized eggs? As thoroughly as Blair searched, he couldn't find the answer to that one.




Jim printed out his report, signed it with a quick scrawl, and shut down his computer. "You ready to blow this pop-stand, Sandburg?"

Blair looked up from the blue-book he was grading. "Yeah, I'm ready. But I want to take a look at the duck again."

"You ever heard the one about a watched pot, Chief? I think watched duck-eggs obey the same natural laws." Jim's voice was amused as he tossed Blair's jacket to him, and slipped into his own.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been..." Blair glanced at the clock, "...four and a half hours; a lot can change in that time."

Jim punched the 'down' button for the elevator. "So, do you have the names picked out, yet?"

"Like I could sneak a pet duck into the loft. Besides, I'm holding out for a bunny."

"Not unless you want hasenpfeffer the next day."

Blair pushed through the main doors and headed toward the Dollar Store. "Sure, sure, animals and kids run screaming from you in terror -- not!"

Jim cocked his head. "Got any cigars to pass out, Chief? Sounds like you're an uncle."

"Really? Cool!" Blair hurried forward and pulled the foliage away from the wall, and saw two small bundles of damp feathers lying on the mulch, peeping softly. He pulled back and turned a beaming face to Jim. "All right! Perfect timing!"

"What? Unhatched ducklings would have interfered with a hot date?"

"Tomorrow's Saturday; I won't have to call in any favors to cover my classes while I'm on duck patrol."

Jim strove mightily to hide the quirk of his lips. "I'm afraid to ask."

"You said it yourself; the closest water is three blocks away. The book says she'll lead the ducklings to water as soon as they're all dry. Since the sun's already going down, she'll probably wait till morning -- and last week I arranged to borrow a vest from Jessie in traffic patrol. Think about it, Jim -- three streets to cross; way too easy for drivers to miss seeing them, and then -- splat!" Blair's voice rose, and his hands waved wildly as he illustrated the danger. "But not if I'm there to stop traffic while they cross," he finished with satisfaction.

"She's a wild duck," Jim pointed out. "To be sure not to miss her, you'll have to get up with the sunrise. But you'll do it alone; I'm not giving up my sleep to drag your sorry ass out of bed. This time of the year, sunrise is just a little after five; think you can do it?"

"Love you, too, man," Blair retorted. "And for something this important -- just watch me." He turned abruptly and headed toward the parking garage. "Come on; I'll need to make an early night of it."





Blair slapped off the alarm, slipped out of bed as quietly as possible, and pulled on the clothes he had laid out the night before. Jim had undoubtedly heard the alarm but, knowing Blair's plans, he'd be able to ignore it and go back to sleep. Blair tiptoed into the kitchen and poured the fresh-brewed coffee -- courtesy of the automatic timer -- into his thermos. He grabbed his coat, shoved a couple of apples into its pockets, and was out the door. Realistically, he knew the duck probably wouldn't start the journey toward the pond until the day was more advanced -- and warmer -- but he didn't want to take any chances on being late. He could munch the apples and drink the coffee while he waited.

Thirty minutes later, everything was in order. After parking the car at the curb near the nest, he'd checked on the duck -- still there -- and put on his borrowed traffic patrol vest. Now, with the handheld STOP sign ready on the seat beside him, Blair poured a cup of coffee, munched on one of his apples and, keeping an eye on the bushes that hid the duck and her ducklings, settled in to wait.

Four hours into his self-imposed stakeout, Blair was fidgeting, realizing that he'd overlooked one very important point -- ingestion of coffee inevitably led to a need to, uh... drain the liquid. And with no one to keep an eye on things while he dashed into the men's room, it would be just his luck that the duck would start her long trek the moment he was out of sight.

He jumped as the passenger-side door opened, and Jim slipped into the seat beside him. "With your luck, I figured she'd sleep late after you got up early. And I figured you might like a little more sustenance right about now." He laid a bag from 'Dal Paso Donuts' on the dash, handed Blair a large cup of coffee, and opened the lid to drink from his own, hiding his grin at Blair's stunned expression.

"Oh, man, you are a lifesaver!" Blair proclaimed. "But first I gotta..." He gestured vaguely. "Keep an eye out; I'll be back in a few." With that, he hurried into the building.

When he returned, just as he had been afraid would happen, the mallard was ready to lead her brood to the pond. She was standing in front of the planter with -- Blair counted -- five ducklings around her, peeping loudly. As he watched, number six appeared at the edge of the planter and plopped down among its siblings.

Blair hurried toward the Corvair. Just as he reached it, Jim stepped out and handed him the STOP sign. "Here you go, Chief; showtime!"

Blair took the sign almost unconsciously. "Look at 'em, Jim! Aren't they the cutest things you've ever seen?" By now, numbers seven and eight had joined the group.

"Right up there with puppies and kitties," Jim agreed dryly. "You're just lucky they'll stick close to their mama; it'll be easier for you to protect them from traffic if they're all in a bunch."

"Yeah, well..." Blair glanced thoughtfully as the cars sped past, hurrying to a morning of shopping. "The drivers might not notice the ducklings, but a bright orange vest and a stop sign will get their attention; I think we'll be okay."

"I think so, too, Chief. But two are more visible than one; as long as I'm here, I might as well help out."

"Really? Oh, man, that is so cool! Thanks!"

"Don't get too bent out of shape; you'll owe me one."

"Hey, Blair!"

At the shout, Blair turned to see an attractive young woman with short brown hair hurrying toward him, also wearing a traffic patrol vest. "Jessie! What are you doing here?"

"Well, I had to make sure you treated my vest okay, and being here is the best way to do that. Besides, I wanted to get a good look at the babies." She grinned down at the fluffy balls of down in a medium brown color with yellow markings on their sides, and yellow faces with a dark brown stripe running across their eyes like a narrow mask. Now nine, they clustered around their mother, waiting for her direction. "Oh, they're so cute!

"Well, some of us think so," Blair said, casting a glance at Jim. "Whoops! They're on the move."

The duck was heading toward the street, her ducklings trailing behind. Just as she reached the curb, Blair stepped into the street, raising his sign to stop the flow of traffic. Jim took up a position a little beyond him, to prevent some bozo in the second lane thinking he might squeeze past. And Jessie stepped to the median, allowing traffic in the other direction to travel unrestricted for now, but prepared to stop the flow if the ducks moved faster than anticipated.

When the traffic in his lane was at a standstill, Blair turned his back on them to watch the little procession. The ducklings -- surprisingly well-developed for having hatched less than twenty-four hours ago -- waddled behind their mother with a workmanlike stride, peeping loudly as if to urge each other along.

But when they reached the median, forward progress was halted; the height of the curb towered over the ducklings' heads. But they were determined to follow their mother. As she sat in the grass and quacked softly, each one in turn pushed itself up the curb, digging into the concrete with tiny toenails and using the friction of chest against rough stone to keep from sliding back.

ducks crossing


By now, a couple of shoppers who had been walking by had stopped to watch the little drama. When all nine had conquered the obstacle, they broke into applause. Startled, the duck quacked and ruffled her feathers, but held her ground while the ducklings gathered around their mother, resting for the next leg of the journey.

"Man, that's harsh," Blair commented. "There'll be..." he paused, mentally counting. The next street also had a raised median, but the third, with only two lanes, didn't. "...uh, four more of those things to climb. And a long walk between streets, and from the last street across the park to the pond. They're going to be worn out."

"They'll make it," Jim assured him. "Mallards are tough little critters; as soon as they reach the pond, they'll be finding their own food."

"Yeah, but it'll be a lot easier if they're not so tired," Blair argued. "Maybe if we get a little closer to the mother, she'll move away from us and we can kind of angle her toward the wheelchair cut at the corner."

"You're in charge, Chief; have at it."

It worked. Somehow, Jessie took over using the STOP sign and, with Jim, held back the traffic while Blair persuaded the duck to move at an angle by walking carefully closer; he didn't want to spook her into leaving her babies. The little group walked up the incline of the wheelchair ramp without difficulty, and proceeded down the sidewalk.

More shoppers had come to see what was going on, and stayed to watch the impromptu parade. Several had cameras, and took the opportunity to take pictures; Blair figured one of them would be showing up in tomorrow's newspaper.

Slowly, the duck led her brood toward the pond, pausing occasionally -- at the grassy medians, and around a couple of trees planted in front of the larger stores -- to let the ducklings rest. As they traveled, more spectators joined the watchers, everyone taking the opportunity to enjoy a touch of wildlife in the middle of the city.

Three hours later, the crowd clapped and cheered as the mallard walked into the pond, her ducklings following without hesitation. She led them to an area of cattails, where they immediately began searching for bugs and tender plants, their little heads dipping under the surface of the water, and their little tails poking into the air.

"Look at that!" Blair breathed in awe. "No training or nothin'; they just know what to do."

"Yep; instinct's great, Chief. But instinct wouldn't have protected them from the traffic. It was your help and dedication that ensured they all got here; you can be proud."

Blair beamed. "I am, kinda. It just feels good, you know?"

The crowd was dispersing. Jessie walked over, grinning as broadly as Blair. "Well, that was the most satisfactory traffic patrol I've ever had; I never thought I'd be escorting ducklings to water. It'll be something to tell the grandkids."

"Don't you have to have kids, first?" Blair asked, unbuckling the vest and handing it to Jessie.

She glanced around ostentatiously and stepped closer, motioning Jim into their little circle. "Don't spread it around; Pete and I haven't told anyone yet. But the baby's due in November."

"Whoa! Congratulations!" Blair exclaimed.

After she'd left, Jim threw his arm across Blair's shoulders. "Your protégés seem to be enjoying lunch, Chief; how about you and I do the same?"

"Sounds like a plan," Blair agreed. "Those apples wore off a long time ago." They turned and headed back toward the PD to pick up their cars.




Blair sat down at the table as Jim set the plate of scrambled eggs in front of him. As he reached for the jelly and toast Blair remarked, "I still say you're trying to corrupt me."

"You wound me, Chief; it's not like I'm feeding you arsenic. And this is good stuff; you did all the shopping yourself at the organic market. It's whole-grain bread, natural jelly without preservatives and eggs from free-range chickens. You can't get any healthier than that and the bonus is, it really does taste better than the regular store brands; my palate thanks you."

"You have a point," Blair acknowledged. "But we're still having a nice healthy stir-fry for dinner tonight."

"Put some meat in there and you've got a deal."

"Oh yeah; God forbid you should go without your daily quota of meat." Blair just wouldn't tell him it was ostrich -- Jim would notice, but he'd eat it.

They split up the Sunday paper, each enjoying breakfast with his best friend. Blair's experiment in duck-care had reached a successful conclusion, they were looking forward to a warm, late Spring day, and the latest bad guy had yet to cross their path. Life didn't get much better than that.




The End




duck swimming



Author's Notes

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Title: Spam Dealings
Summary: Blair vents, Jim reasons
Style: Gen
Size: 1,220 words, about 3 pages in MS Word
Warnings: None
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Spam Dealings (gen)

by StarWatcher





"Jim, you know the worst thing about spam?"

Jim looked up from the newspaper he was perusing while he waited for game-time; the Jags were playing the Bulls tonight. "Uh, Chief, spam is electronic junk mail. It's all a pain in the ass; how can there be a 'worst thing'?"

"Think about it, man. At least hard-copy junk mail can be transformed. Like, use the unprinted side of pages to write a shopping list. Or crumple it up and use it as kindling to start a fire. I know several people who use shredded junk mail as packing material when they mail stuff in boxes.

"But spam simply takes up my time as I have to weed through my messages, identify the unwanted junk, and delete it. And I'll bet it's offensive to a lot of people. Like, I keep getting stuff that guarantees an increase in my bust size. I wonder if women get stuff that guarantees an increase in their cock size?"

"Chief, how long does it take you to identify and delete a piece of spam?" Ellison folded the newspaper, laid it on the coffee table, and ambled into the kitchen. Extracting a couple of beers from the fridge, he crossed to the table and handed one to Sandburg.

"Oh, I don't know; maybe... two and a half seconds?" Blair accepted the offered bottle, and took a sip, staring thoughtfully at his open e-mail program.

"So, let's see..." Jim grabbed a calculator from the kitchen drawer and started punching in numbers. "If you delete twenty-four pieces of spam, you've wasted a whole minute of your day. If you practice, you could probably delete thirty pieces a minute, saving yourself a whole fifteen seconds." He shrugged. "Somehow, I don't think that a minute, or even two, will be missed by the end of the day."

"You're missing the point, man. Multiply that minute by days, weeks, months. Expand my minute to all the people sitting at computers all over the country. Productivity goes down, costs go up... I've read where spam costs the country several billion dollars a year! Not to mention that it's getting to be a major irritation to ME!" His voice rose as he expressed his frustration.

"Sorry Chief, I think you're stuck with it. I mean, what can you do to make it go away? Not your spam -- I've heard about blocking programs, which will probably help -- you can pick one up tomorrow. I mean, what can you do to wipe out all the spam on the Internet?"

"Not a damn thing! That's why it's so irritating! That's --"

"-- why you should let it go and stop obsessing. Chief, it's not worth you driving yourself into an ulcer. In the greater scheme of things, it just doesn't make that much difference." Crossing back to his friend, Jim gently removed Blair's fingers from the keyboard and powered down the computer.

Blair's shoulders slumped. "I suppose you're right," he mumbled. "But I wish I could do something."

"Chief, you're the smartest man I know. If anyone can come up with something, it'll be you. How about --" Jim paused for a minute, wracking his brains for an idea that would lighten Sandburg's mood. He snapped his fingers. "Got it! How about you devise some suitably devious punishments for the perpetrators who get caught? Make the results so heinous that it will actually make people stop and consider before they get into that."

"Oh, right, Jim, like that'll ever happen! They get away with it because it's easy and cheap to do, and damned difficult for any law agency to find their hidey-holes."

"But that'll change. Didn't I read that California signed a law to prosecute the major corporations that allow spam to be sent out in their name? If they're hit on the bottom line -- their profits -- they'll give up the practice. Now what you have to do..." Jim's voice was encouraging, "...is to figure out something evil for the ones who actually set up the e-mail programs. They don't have billions of dollars to fine, but I know you can figure out a way to hit them where it hurts."

"Well..." Sandburg's irrepressible good humor was beginning to surface. He glanced over at his friend, noticing the glint of amusement in Jim's eyes. His own lips quirked upward in response. "Okay. Um... How about they spend their jail time with unlimited computer access -- on a computer that has a modem speed of only fourteen BPS, and a mere sixty-four K of working memory?"

"Sounds good," Jim admitted judiciously. "How about their sentence runs one week for every thousand pieces of spam they sent?"

"Oh, man, lots of them would be in jail for years!"

"Is this a problem?" Jim grinned as Blair's curls tumbled from the vigor of his headshake. "And if that doesn't deter them, then what?"

Blair frowned. "Well, for a computer geek, there's not much worse than a slow computer. Except..." His frown became an incandescent smile, and Jim congratulated himself on the success of this 'mission'. "Except a really fast computer, with tons of memory -- and the only sites they can access are made up of nothing but cheesy advertisements, and the only e-mail that they can get is spam. Five hundred pieces of spam per day, guaranteed!"

Jim chuckled and saluted his friend with a raised bottle. "Sounds like a winner, Chief. We convict a few people with that sentence, and the rest will be dropping the spam so fast, their keyboards will be lonely."

"I certainly hope so, man; I certainly hope so. But it'll take time. What'll we do until then?"

"In the long run? You get a spam-blocking program to deal with the worst of it, and get real familiar with the delete key to take care of whatever gets through. In the short run, you start popping the corn; the game's on in five minutes."

"Oh, right." After a startled glance at the clock, Sandburg rose to grab the popcorn pan and the cooking oil.

A few minutes later, he joined his friend on the couch, settling the big bowl of popcorn between them. He glanced over and murmured, "Thanks, Jim. Don't know why I let the little things get to me sometimes. I appreciate the boost."

"You're human, Sandburg," he chuckled. "We all have those days. Now forget about it and watch the game." Jim settled his feet on the coffee table, grabbed a handful of popcorn, and prepared to enjoy the game. His guide was close by, relaxed and at ease; all was right with the sentinel's world.

"From 'neo-hippie punk' to 'human'. Gee, Jim, it's big of you to admit it. Does this mean I've come up in your estimation?" He smirked at the mock-glare tossed his way. "Right, man, got'cha; shut up and watch the game."

He settled back and grabbed a handful of popcorn for himself, relaxing once again in the comfort and security of having a friend like Jim. The big guy was right; there was no sense in stressing over a little thing like spam, or even a big thing like a deranged psycho-killer. Jim and Blair, cop and partner, sentinel and guide -- nothing could stand against them. Life was good.



The End



Author's Notes

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Title: Spam Dealings
Summary: Blair vents, Jim reasons
Style: Very, very mild slash
Size: 1,125 words, about 3 pages in MS Word
Warnings: None
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Spam Dealings (slash)

by StarWatcher





"Jim, you know the worst thing about spam?"

Jim looked up from the newspaper he was perusing while he waited for game-time; the Jags were playing the Bulls tonight. "Uh, Chief, spam is electronic junk mail. It's all a pain in the ass; how can there be a 'worst thing'?"

"Think about it, man. At least hard-copy junk mail can be transformed. Like, use the unprinted side of pages to write a shopping list. Or crumple it up and use it as kindling to start a fire. I know several people who use shredded junk mail as packing material when they mail stuff in boxes.

"But spam simply takes up my time as I have to weed through my messages, identify the unwanted junk, and delete it. And I'll bet it's offensive to a lot of people. Like, I keep getting stuff that guarantees an increase in my bust size. I wonder if women get stuff that guarantees an increase in their cock size?"

"Chief, how long does it take you to identify and delete a piece of spam?" Ellison folded the newspaper, laid it on the coffee table, and ambled into the kitchen. Extracting a couple of beers from the fridge, he crossed to the table and handed one to Sandburg.

"Oh, I don't know; maybe... two and a half seconds?" Blair accepted the offered bottle, and took a sip, staring thoughtfully at his open e-mail program.

"So, let's see..." Jim grabbed a calculator from the kitchen drawer and started punching in numbers. "If you delete twenty-four pieces of spam, you've wasted a whole minute of your day. If you practice, you could probably delete thirty pieces a minute, saving yourself a whole fifteen seconds." He shrugged. "Somehow, I don't think that a minute, or even two, will be missed by the end of the day."

"You're missing the point, man. Multiply that minute by days, weeks, months. Expand my minute to all the people sitting at computers all over the country. Productivity goes down, costs go up... I've read where spam costs the country several billion dollars a year! Not to mention that it's getting to be a major irritation to ME!" His voice rose as he expressed his frustration.

"Sorry Chief, I think you're stuck with it. I mean, what can you do to make it go away? Not your spam -- I've seen blocking programs, which will probably help -- you can pick one up tomorrow. I mean, what can you do to wipe out all the spam on the Internet?"

"Not a damn thing! That's why it's so irritating! That's --"

"-- why you should let it go and stop obsessing. Chief, it's not worth you driving yourself into an ulcer. In the greater scheme of things, it just doesn't make that much difference." Crossing over to his friend, Jim gently removed Blair's fingers from the keyboard and powered down the computer.

Blair's shoulders slumped. "I suppose you're right," he mumbled. "But I wish I could do something."

"Chief, you're the smartest man I know. If anyone can come up with something, it'll be you. How about --" Jim paused for a minute, wracking his brains for an idea that would lighten Sandburg's mood. He snapped his fingers. "Got it! How about you devise some suitably devious punishments for the perpetrators who get caught? Make the results so heinous that it will actually make people stop and consider before they get into that."

"Oh, right, Jim, like that'll ever happen! They get away with it because it's easy and cheap to do, and damned difficult for any law agency to find their hidey-holes."

"But that'll change. Didn't I read that California signed a law to prosecute the major corporations that allow spam to be sent out in their name? If they're hit on the bottom line -- their profits -- they'll give up the practice. Now what you have to do..." Jim's voice was encouraging, "...is to figure out something evil for the ones who actually set up the e-mail programs. They don't have billions of dollars to fine, but I know you can figure out a way to hit them where it hurts."

"Well..." Sandburg's irrepressible good humor was beginning to surface. He glanced over at his friend, noticing the glint of amusement in Jim's eyes. His own lips quirked upward in response. "Okay. Um... How about they spend their jail time with unlimited computer access -- on a computer that has a modem speed of only fourteen BPS, and a mere sixty-four K of working memory?"

"Sounds good," Jim admitted judiciously. "How about their sentence runs one week for every thousand pieces of spam they sent?"

"Oh, man, lots of them would be in jail for years!"

"Is this a problem?" Jim grinned as Blair's curls tumbled from the vigor of his headshake. "And if that doesn't deter them, then what?"

Blair frowned. "Well, for a computer geek, there's not much worse than a slow computer. Except..." His frown became an incandescent smile, and Jim congratulated himself on the success of this 'mission'. "Except a really fast computer, with tons of memory -- and the only sites they can access are made up of nothing but cheesy advertisements, and the only e-mail that they can get is spam. Five hundred pieces of spam per day, guaranteed!"

Jim chuckled and saluted his friend with a raised bottle. "Sounds like a winner, Chief. We convict a few people with that sentence, and the rest will be dropping the spam so fast, their keyboards will be lonely."

"I certainly hope so, man; I certainly hope so. But it'll take time. What'll we do until then?"

"In the long run? You get a spam-blocking program to deal with the worst of it, and get real familiar with the delete key to take care of whatever gets through. In the short run..." His voice changed to a seductive purr, "you can come upstairs and prove to me that your cock doesn't need any enlargement."

Blair closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then exhaled forcefully while shaking his head and torso, as if, Jim thought in amusement, he can just shake away the aggravation.

But maybe he could. Blair glanced up at Jim with a wicked grin. "Only if you prove the same thing to me, man." He sprinted for the stairs, shedding clothes as he went. "Last one naked is a rotten egg!"

Jim followed more slowly, chuckling to himself. His life-partner didn't have a one-track mind, but it was amazing easy to derail him from any other tracks onto this one -- and Jim loved him for it. He quickened his pace; he didn't want to keep Blair waiting.



The End


Author's Notes

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Title: Lessons in Social Dynamics
Summary: Blair mixes Christmas and sentinel sensitivity.
Style: Gen
Size: 870 words, about 2 pages in MS Word.
Warnings: None; conversation fic.
Notes: Written December, 2003. A snippet as "payment" for off-topic list-posting.
Feedback: Not necessary, but I certainly do like to get it!
Email: If you prefer not to post a comment that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Lessons in Social Dynamics

by StarWatcher





Blair spoke from his spot at the kitchen table, without looking up from his laptop. "Hey, Jim, I've found the answer to Christmas shopping for all the ladies on my list. There's this site --"

"'All the ladies', Chief? As in more than one?" Jim chuckled as he turned to the sports page. "I thought you were between girlfriends right now. And if you're not, talking plural could get you in trouble with some of them -- or all of them. Didn't Sam give you enough problems?"

"Ji-im! I'm talking friendship gifts, not girlfriend gifts! Little things like this help to lubricate the gears of social interaction, so to speak. It helps to stay on the good side of the people who can make my life easier, or a pain in the butt."

"You lost me, Chief. Who are these mysterious people?"

Blair shook his head pityingly as he clicked on another link. "Jim, Jim, Jim. I know you know that barking at people is not the most effective way to encourage cooperation. Other people may believe that glaring, Neanderthal façade you put on, but not me."

"Sandburg, I don't need a lesson in social dynamics. I'm just curious about who these 'ladies' are that you need to butter up."

"Well..." he leaned back in his chair and started enumerating on his fingers, "...there're the librarians, Donna, Linda, and Nancy. Of course it's part of their job to research materials and hold stuff for the TAs, but it doesn't hurt to say 'Thank you'. And Emily, the secretary at the Anthro department, and her assistant Charlotte -- it can make a difference whether my stuff gets handled and copied first or last. And Sadie the donut-cart girl; haven't you ever noticed that she always has at least one left of the banana-bran muffins for me and a buttermilk donut for you? That deserves recognition. And Rhonda and Megan, of course. And --"

"Okay, Chief, okay! It was just a general question; I don't need all the gory details. So, what's your great solution?"

"Like I said, I found this site, and they'll make soaps and bath salts and bath oils to order -- I can select shape, color and fragrance. So I can get a 'different', individualized present for each lady, but they're all on the same 'level' -- no hidden hurt feelings because someone else got a 'better' gift. And they're pretty inexpensive, too; I can afford to get a dozen or more.

"Come to think of it..." He reached out to click on another page. "It says here that the soaps are made with glycerine and Vitamin E oil. Maybe you should try a bar; it sounds like they would be sentinel-friendly on your skin. What scent would you like?"

Jim passed him on the way to renew his cup of coffee, while another click took Blair to the list of fragrances. "Of course, there aren't too many masculine scents, but maybe cinnamon orange or Hawaiian rain or juniper breeze... Wait! Here ya' go! Sage!" He turned to waggle his eyebrows and cast an evil grin at his friend just as Jim set a fresh cup of coffee within easy reach.

Jim offered the expected head-swat, which Blair avoided with practiced ease, but seemed intrigued. He peered at the computer screen over Blair's shoulder. "You may have something there, Chief. The unscented stuff I use has a scent -- the soap chemicals -- just no perfume. It's better than the perfumed stuff, but still not pleasant. You think maybe they would mix up a bar with half the usual amount of scent? It might hide the soap chemical smell without being too overpowering for me. What d'ya' think?"

"Good idea, man," he replied neutrally, manfully hiding his internal smirk. Yes! He took the bait! "Maybe get a couple of bars at half-strength and a couple at quarter-strength. Maybe even a couple at eighth-strength. I can use whichever doesn't work for you."

"Yeah, I think you've got something there, Chief. Show me that list of fragrances." He scanned the list as Blair scrolled down. "Citrus might not be too sweet. Maybe ocean? Or rain forest? Hell, Chief, this is no good. Ordering scents on the Internet, there's no telling what those names actually smell like."

"Hey, no problem, man. I'll e-mail them, explain that we want a very subtle scent that's not sweet. We can get several; whatever you or I don't like can be spread out among the ladies at the PD."

"Good; you do that, and let me know what my part of the bill is." He went back to the couch, but paused before he picked up the newspaper. "Chief?" He waited till Blair looked up. "You really didn't need to go through that little charade. Thanks for looking out for me."

Busted! He should have known that he couldn't really put one over on his sentinel. Blair shrugged and grinned. "No problem, man; all part of the service. We aim to please."

The guide returned to his computer as the sentinel returned to his reading, each taking comfort from the knowledge that the other cared. In this season of caring, this was undoubtedly the most precious gift of all.



The End



Author's Notes

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Title: 'Tis the Season
Summary: Christmas is a time for gifts and... senses testing.
Style: Gen
Size: 4,420 words, about 9 pages in MS Word.
Warnings: None
Notes: Written December, 2003.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





'Tis the Season

by StarWatcher





Thursday, October 30th

"Hey, Jim, got any plans for Saturday?" Blair asked, oh-so-casually.

Ellison immediately felt the mental warning flags go up. Tests. Sandburg wanted to rope him into more tests.

He looked up from the newspaper he was reading and fixed the younger man with his most fearsome scowl, the one that always made the perps quake in their boots. "Cleaning. Shopping. Relaxing. That's what a 'day off' is for, Sandburg, or haven't you learned the concept?"

Sandburg seemed to have quit grading papers for awhile. He wandered to the fridge and extracted a couple of bottles of beer. There was no sign of boot-quaking as he smiled sunnily at his friend and handed him one of the bottles. "Oh, great. If we really work at it, we could finish the cleaning early, then swing by the Arts-and-Crafts Fair before doing the regular shopping." If anything, the scowl facing him deepened. "Think about it man. Booths of gorditas and burritos, Alaskan king crab legs, mooshoo pork, pad thai, elephant ears, caramel apples with nuts... you can chow down and I won't say a word, I promise."

"I am thinking about it. Echoing barn-like buildings filled with strange smells and crowds of loud people. Why should I subject myself to that? You go if you want; you don't need to drag me along."

"But it's a great opportunity, Jim; a chance to practice controlling your senses -- hearing especially -- in a realistically adverse situation, but it's not life-or-death hanging on your success. If it gets to be too much we'll leave, I promise, but some day you might be grateful that you had that practice." The gaze he turned on his friend was earnest and hopeful, and wide-eyed as a child's.

Ellison felt his resolve crumbling. "Sandburg, why bother? Shoving through crowds, looking at booths filled with ticky-tacky junk..."

"Jim! Not ticky-tacky! Hand-crafted art, and items that someone has put time and effort into. Okay, okay," he hastened to forestall another objection, "some of it is less 'polished' than you or I might like. But there's some good stuff too, man, at reasonable prices. It's a chance to appreciate individual creativity, the best of small-town Americana, even if you don't buy anything."

Ellison's eyebrows rose. "Small-town, Chief? In Cascade?"

"Hey, man, 'small-town' is an attitude as much as a place, and hand-crafting goes with that attitude." Blair waved off the comment airily, and fixed his partner with a considering eye. "Why the negativity, man? Did a toy train bite you on the ankle when you were a kid?"

Jim sighed. He was losing this battle, but he wouldn't go down without one last effort. "Sandburg, you still haven't told me why. Why should I go with you -- you're a big boy, now, you can go alone -- but also, why do you want to go in the first place?"

"Well..." He eyed the big man uncertainly, half-afraid of being laughed at. "Like I said, it's a chance to appreciate individual creativity and ingenuity. And if I buy something, I'm supporting a local artist, and that's always good." Jim was still waiting. "And I like to get an early start on Christmas shopping. Sometimes you can find some really unique gifts that will be a lot more appreciated than the same old stuff from a department store." Jim still didn't look convinced. Blair sighed. "And I like to get stuff for the Christmas Wishing Tree, and this way I can get more stuff on the same budget, and spread it around to more kids."

Jim blinked. Apparently they'd just crossed into the Sandburg zone. "You lost me, Chief."

"You know the Wishing Tree they have in the mall every year, the one they put up the first weekend of November?"

Jim didn't, but he nodded encouragingly. As usual, Sandburg saw right through him.

"Ah, man, you mean you never noticed it? It's this big tree, decorated with paper stars. Each star has the gender and age of a kid whose family can't afford Christmas presents. You pick a star, buy a gift that you think would be appropriate, and pass the star and gift over to mall management. They pass it to the group that's in charge, and those people wrap and distribute the gifts to the right kids in time for Christmas."

Jim had to swallow a lump. It never ceased to amaze him how giving his friend could be. He couldn't help but wonder if Blair had ever been on the outside looking in, hoping for a Christmas present that didn't come.

"That sounds like a worthwhile endeavor, Chief, but why not just do it at the mall? The toys will be handy; in and out and you're done."

"Like I said, more bang for the buck. I can buy probably three toys at the Fair for the same price I could buy one at the mall -- give three kids a little bit of Christmas instead of just one." He shrugged. "It's something I've been doing for the past five years. I just thought you might like to join in." Once again his gaze turned hopeful and beseeching.

Jim should have known that his surrender was inevitable, but he could still bargain for terms. "Okay, Chief, it's a date." He raised a cautionary finger. "And I'll even practice dial-control with you; you made a good point. BUT, fair warning... if it gets to be too much, I'm out of there, and you'll have to take the bus home."

"Oh, man, that's great! You'll have a good time, Jim, I promise!" The smile on his face could have provided light for every apartment in the building.

Privately, Jim still had doubts. But as he returned to his newspaper, he supposed that it wouldn't be too traumatic; nothing he couldn't handle. He hoped.




Saturday, November 1st

Jim woke as Sandburg's alarm went off below him, and frowned as he glanced at his own clock. Saturday was a day that they both enjoyed sleeping in, if possible, and it was barely 6:45. Maybe Blair had forgotten to leave his alarm off last night, and would turn over and go back to sleep? Jim focused his hearing on the room below his. No, the rustling of clothing indicated that Sandburg was getting dressed. More sounds told of a quick stop in the bathroom -- flushing toilet, hands being washed -- and then the light went on in the kitchen. Cupboard door opened and shut, pan placed on the stove, fridge opening...

He heaved himself upright and passed a hand over his face, then looked over the railing into the room below. "Sandburg! What's up?"

The answer was indecently cheerful. "I'm up, Jim, and you should be, too. Early start on cleaning today, remember? Breakfast in fifteen, buddy; get a move on!" Jim heard the eggs crack on the side of the bowl, and the whisk starting to beat them.

Oh. Right. The Arts-and-Crafts Fair. Oh well, Sandburg certainly seemed determined to get started and get finished; might as well take advantage of it. He pulled on jeans and a T-shirt, slipped his feet into the soft moccasins he wore around the house, made his own stop in the bathroom, and joined his friend in the kitchen. He made and buttered the toast, poured the coffee that Sandburg already had brewing, and sat down just as Blair brought two plates of scrambled eggs to the table.




Three hours later, the loft was spotless, and they were on their way to the fairgrounds. Ellison was feeling slightly stunned. Sandburg never shirked helping to clean the loft, but he had never approached the job with the energy he had displayed today. Apparently, this Arts-and-Crafts thing meant more to him than he'd let on.

Jim parked the truck at the end of a sparsely-populated row that was a considerable distance from the entrance. He didn't mind the walk, and the truck was less likely to get 'dinged', as most of the patrons would be searching for spots closer to the main gate. He grinned as he remembered a quote he'd read years before: 'As a nation, Americans are dedicated to keeping physically fit -- and parking as close to the football stadium as possible.'

As they reached the midpoint of the parking lot, Jim hesitated. Even from here, the noise and the smells were noticeable. He looked askance at the three large, Quonset-hut-like buildings, apparently ideally designed to amplify sounds while splitting them into so many pieces that there seemed to be no source. He really didn't want to do this. Maybe he should just leave Sandburg here and head home now...

The guide was in tune with his sentinel. Blair paused with Jim, and laid a grounding hand on his arm. "I really think you can do this, man. Just dial your hearing and smell down about two points below normal. When you're comfortable with that, we'll experiment with raising one or the other -- just a notch -- to locate specific items, then down again. When that's good, we'll see if you can go two notches up, then down. It's all about control, Jim. If you can do it, you've gained experience for similar situations. If not, we'll quit and go home. I can come back alone tomorrow and find what I want. Okay?"

Okay. He was a sentinel, and Cascade was his territory. Sandburg made sense; he had to learn to cope with all of his territory. He gave a short nod, then adjusted the mental dials as his guide had suggested. A quick scan into the fairgrounds and... yes. It was better already. He could do this. As he relaxed, he felt Sandburg relax beside him as well. Together they walked through the gate and into Building A.




For awhile they wandered the aisles at whim -- Sandburg's whim. Apparently, anything could attract his attention, although Jim noticed that he seemed to spend more time on the actual hand-crafted items, rather than ones that were simply re-packaged from other sources. Those also became the booths that Blair expected him to be able to 'mark' and recognize. "Jim, listen to the tone of these wind-chimes. Doesn't that hand-beaten copper make a distinctive sound?" He had to agree that it did. "Come on, Jim, this is hand-spun wool yarn and natural dyes. It's got to smell different than the usual commercial stuff." A cautious loosening of the scent dial proved Sandburg right again. "Hey, Jim, take a whiff of these carved boxes. Aren't the exotic woods more recognizable than the usual lumber from Home Depot?" They were indeed. "Focus on the falling of the water as it passes from one level to another; does each fountain have a unique sound, or are they all the same?" Each one was different, a soothing murmur that he'd never consciously noted before. Maybe he should get one for the loft....

But, despite the distractions, Blair kept a close eye on his friend. As Jim followed quiet suggestions to 'filter out the smell, it doesn't have to affect you', or 'turn up your hearing just a notch, but let the echoes shift to the background', he was pleased to discover that Blair's impromptu training session seemed to be working. By noon, he was completely comfortable, able to relegate the myriad sounds and smells to a balanced, non-invasive sensory backdrop -- one that didn't hamper his efforts to focus on specific items. And right now, he had one specific item in mind -- lunch. Of course, even that became a training session.

They paused in a quiet, sheltered area between two of the buildings. Blair looked up with a light of challenge in his eyes and a wicked grin dancing on his lips. "Okay, Big Guy; we've seen some of the food stands, but not all. So, use that nose to discover what our options are. You decide what smells the best, and that's where we'll eat."

Jim answered with a grin of his own. "So you say, Chief. What happens if I discover that WonderBurger has a stand here?"

"Fine. You can have WonderBurger -- after you point me to the homemade gorditas and shrimp-fried rice." A punch on the arm became a grounding touch.

Jim closed his eyes and concentrated on smell. It took a few minutes, as he needed time to note and discard the countless scents -- glue, wood, paint, incense, dye, fabric, leather, and so many others -- of the various handicrafts. Sandburg's earlier coaching paid off; all of these were now known and recognized, and he was able to shunt them to a mental storage bin labeled 'non-food', and ignore them. Very soon, he was identifying the various foods and cataloguing the ingredients that would enhance or detract from the flavors, peripherally aware of Blair waiting patiently by his side.

"Got it. Okay, Chief, hope you brought your appetite and don't mind mixing cuisines. We'll be having barbequed ribs with honey-mustard sauce, baked salmon patties, and shrimp egg-rolls, along with..." he paused to confirm his information, "some really excellent homemade bread, and a dessert of real, honest-to-god, old-fashioned handmade strawberry ice cream."

"Oh, man, it sounds like the heart-attack will be worth it. Lead on!"




After a self-indulgent second helping of the ice cream, Sandburg's whole demeanor changed. Gone was the carefree wanderer, replaced by the focused gaze of a dedicated hunter. "Okay, Jim, I deliberately didn't make note of where the specific booths are. You're going to use your senses to lead me back to the things I want. First stop -- the booth with the hand-carved boxes of exotic woods. I think one would be great on Simon's desk to keep his cigars in. Follow your nose and lead on, MacDuff!"

In short order, Blair had chosen Simon's cigar box (after consulting with Jim to be sure that the scent of that particular wood wouldn't adversely affect the cigars), one of the beaten-copper wind-chimes for Rhonda, and a hand-dyed, hand-knitted scarf for Megan, in shades that would complement her coloring.

Sandburg's enthusiasm was contagious, and Jim had to admit (privately) that Blair had been right -- many of the crafts were well-done and would make good gifts. And since he was already here, gifts purchased now would save him having to spend so much time in other stores... For Simon, he selected a pen-set in the same wood as the cigar box. Megan would get a sort of beret-thingie that matched the scarf Blair had chosen, and Rhonda would get a miniature table-top fountain. She might like to keep it on top of her filing cabinet.

But enough was enough; a little shopping went a long way, even though his senses had long since adapted to the crowds and noises and smells. Jim stopped Blair as he headed toward another booth. "Sandburg, the experiment was a success; the dials are working." He grinned slightly at the restrained bounce that expressed his friend's satisfaction. "So finish up; I'll give you another half-hour, then I'm out of here."

"Great, man, no problem. Just need to get the toys for the kids, and I already know which ones. So -- you remember that booth with the animal marionettes, and one was attached to a revolving arm that made it dance? You said the motor had a really annoying squeak. Where is it from here?" His eyes were alight with expectation; it seemed that the testing wouldn't be over until they actually left the building.

Sandburg was good. In the requisite thirty minutes, he had purchased two of the marionettes -- ("Hey, man, interactive toys that promote imagination; they're great!"), a set of hand-carved, unpainted, wooden vehicles -- ("Classic, man. A three-year-old can bang these around as much as he wants without hurting them."), and matching bracelet-and-necklace made of small polished chunks of semi-precious stones, undoubtedly the 'leavings' from making the larger, more formal jewelry. ("It doesn't matter, man. Some little girl will just see that it's pretty and shiny and enjoy showing off to her friends.")

Maybe Sandburg's spirit was catching. As they passed a booth displaying rag-dolls and plush animals, Jim paused to examine them more closely. The dolls were hand-stitched, without any small pieces to be pulled off and stuffed into an inquisitive mouth; their painted-on features had an individuality that commercial dolls lacked. The animals were engagingly fuzzy and squishy, just right for a young child to cuddle with in bed.

He glanced uncertainly at his friend. Were these toys too simplistic -- or maybe ordinary -- to be gifts for a needy child? Blair's beaming smile and encouraging nod assured him otherwise. Jim selected a brown-haired rag-doll in an apple-green dress, and a rainbow-colored, floppy kitten. As the booth-attendant made change, he warned, "But I'm not going in the mall, Sandburg. You can choose the stars for the kids that get these toys."

"Sure, Jim, no problem," he declared. "No sense duplicating our efforts when one can take care of the job."

As they finally headed toward the main exit, Sandburg stopped at one last display. His face was almost wistful as he examined the display of tree ornaments. These were made from simple, solid-colored balls, each with a tiny teddy-bear head, arms, and legs glued on. The ball was, in effect, the tummy of a teddy-bear at the same time it was a toy that the bear was clutching. Some had children's names on them, and a sign proclaimed that any ornament would be personalized free. Kind of kitchy, Jim thought, but Blair touched one with a tender finger.

"Wouldn't this be great for kids? Give them a visible connection to the tree and the holiday, something that's just theirs, but shared by everyone."

"I guess." Jim was a little uncomfortable with the note of -- longing? -- in his friend's voice. Where was this coming from? "Not very practical for an anonymous gift though; you wouldn't know what name to put on it."

Sandburg quickly shook off the little mood. "No, of course not. And it's not really something they could use or play with all year." He headed swiftly for the door, smirking slightly as Jim was left half a beat behind.

As they settled into the truck, Blair looked over at his friend. "Thanks for coming, man; it's always more fun to share with somebody. I know it wasn't your ideal way to spend a Saturday, but... well, thanks. And 'specially for adding to the toy collection. They'll make some little kids awfully happy on Christmas morning."

"No problem, Sandburg; I've had worse times, and the cause seems worthwhile. And the practice really did help my control. Of course, if you really want to show your appreciation..." He glanced over to see Blair with an eyebrow raised, waiting for the punch-line, "... you'll declare a no-testing period for the next two weeks."

"Two weeks! Man, you can't let your skills get rusty; three days."

"Ten days."

"One week, and I'll bake a blueberry shortcake."

"Done!"

They grinned at each other in perfect harmony, sentinel to guide, friend to friend.




Sunday, November 2nd

Immediately after breakfast, Blair grabbed his backpack and the bags of toys they had bought. "I'm outta here, man. I'll swing by the mall to pick some Wishing Stars to match these toys, then drop them off with management. After that, I need to do some work in my office. Should be back around three. You need anything while I'm running around?"

"I'm good, Sandburg. I think I'll go to the gym later, but I should be here when you get back. Dinner at Luigi's?"

"After the way we pigged out yesterday? How about vegetable stir-fry and blueberry shortcake?" He fixed his friend with a stern look.

Jim's grin was unrepentant. "Had to try, Chief. Yeah, sounds good. You gonna use canned blueberries, or do you think the organic market might have some fresh?"

"Why don't you check it out, Jim? At this time of the year, they won't be local; you can tell better than I can if the ones at the market are good enough. Otherwise, I'll just use canned." He watched Jim settle back with the morning newspaper, and was out the door with a careless wave.




As soon as Blair's car turned the corner, Jim's relaxed pose disappeared. Even on Sunday, the gym would be less crowded before noon. Going now would give him time afterward to swing by the Arts-and-Crafts Fair again. With the senses practice he'd done yesterday, he should be able to spend a short time with no difficulty, even without his guide. There was something he wanted to pick up without Blair knowing... He grabbed his gym bag and locked the door behind him.




Blair left the Mall Office with a sense of accomplishment. Six toys, six stars -- and six children that would have at least one present to open on Christmas morning. Every time he did this, he realized all over again that giving, not receiving, really was the best part of the season.

He glanced at the wall clock as he headed toward the main exit. He had plenty of time to stop back at the fairgrounds again before heading toward the office. It wouldn't be much -- little more than a trinket -- but he hoped Jim would appreciate the gesture.




Saturday, December 20th

The small, but well-shaped, living tree was standing in front of the far balcony doors, waiting for its lights, tinsel and ornaments. This had been Blair's innovation. Jim had explained, the first year Blair was in the loft, that he didn't like to put up a Christmas tree because he could smell the cut trees dying. Blair had been intrigued, but quickly suggested a potted tree from a local nursery. The smell would remain fresh and clean to sentinel senses, there would be far fewer dropped needles to clean up, the rental fee was comparable to the cost of a cut tree, and it would be returned to the nursery after Christmas -- no need to worry about disposal of a discarded tree. Jim had counseled him to, "Breathe, Chief; you've convinced me," and joined his friend in evaluating the potential 'candidates'. Both men had been pleased with the experiment, and continued the custom the next year.

Blair had been waiting all week for this. Decorating the tree was a cultural tradition that he hadn't always had the opportunity to participate in. He enjoyed it whenever he could, and sharing with his friend made the experience even sweeter. He'd been up early, working in the kitchen; they'd have fresh apple pie and hot spiced cider after the tree-trimming.

Jim positioned the lights -- small, so the heat wouldn't harm the tree, and unblinking, so the sentinel wouldn't risk a zoneout -- to his exacting standards, while Blair unwrapped the ornaments from their protective tissue and lined them up on the couch. From there, it would be easy to choose the 'correct' color and shape of ornament needed to 'balance' all sides of the tree. Privately, Blair thought that tree-trimming in accordance with sentinel -- or maybe it was 'anal' -- sensibilities subdued some of the spontaneous fun. On the other hand, the previous years had demonstrated that the final effect would be beautifully harmonious. So, when Jim 'adjusted' half of the Blair-placed ornaments a quarter-inch forward or back, it didn't make a dent in his good mood. He simply enjoyed spending some down-time with his friend while instrumental carols played softly in the background and the air was redolent with the delicious smells wafting from the kitchen.

Finally, all the ornaments were placed, and they both stood back to evaluate the effect before hanging the tinsel.

"What d'ya think, Chief?"

"Actually, Jim, I think it needs one more thing. Hang on a sec; I'll be right back," and he hurried into his room.

Jim took the opportunity to cross the kitchen and reach into the dark corner of the far cabinet's upper shelf. He grabbed the tissue-wrapped package and turned just in time to see Blair emerging from his room with a similar bundle.

There was an awkward pause.

Blair moved first, thrusting his bundle toward Jim. "Um... maybe it's kind of silly, but I wanted you to have this."

"You took the words right out of my mouth, Chief. This one's for you."

Blair grinned, noticing the similarity of the packages. "Is this a case of 'great minds' Jim?" He carefully opened the tissue to reveal one of the teddy-bear ornaments in a creamy silver. Inscribed in deep blue lettering was,

Blair - a Friend for all Seasons


"Oh, man," he breathed. "This is... this is just so cool. Thanks Jim; this is just... great!" His smile was incandescent.

Jim was touched; it took so little to make his friend happy. "You're welcome, buddy. So, can I guess what this is?" He unwrapped the paper to discover a teddy-bear ornament of blue. The silver-lettered inscription read,

Jim - Brother of my Heart


Jim smiled a slow, sweet smile, and didn't even try to resist. He moved forward, to bestow and receive a heartfelt hug. His voice was husky as he murmured, "You got it, Chief. Friend and brother -- it doesn't get any better."

Together, they walked back to the tree to find prominent places for both ornaments before they added the tinsel.




They waited until darkness fell to turn on the lights. Blair sighed contentedly as the tree shone in splendor. He and Jim sat on the smaller couch, sipping cider and contemplating the sight before them. One might think that the Menorah -- placed several days previously on a table in front of the near balcony doors -- would be overpowered, especially with only two candles burning tonight. Not so; the two icons of the season seemed to lend strength and meaning to each other.

It was a perfect representation of his heartfelt wish every year at this season -- peace to all the peoples of the world, whatever their belief system might be. Realistically, he knew that worldwide peace would be a long time coming. Perhaps it couldn't happen until every person had found a secure, comfortable 'niche' for his or her personality. He didn't know. But he did know that he was fortunate to have found his niche, at the side of his sentinel and friend... and he was never letting go.



The End



Author's Notes

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Title: Of Rain and Rainbows
Summary: Post TsbyBS, a shared domestic moment.
Style: Gen
Size: 1870 words, about 4 pages in MS Word.
Warnings: None
Notes: Written March, 2004
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Of Rain and Rainbows

by StarWatcher





Blair Sandburg hunched his shoulders, trying to prevent the water from trickling down his neck as he dashed toward the building's entryway through the drenching summer downpour. Naturally, all the close parking spaces were already taken. "I suppose I should be grateful it's only wet, not cold," he muttered sourly. Sometimes it seemed like Cascade's weather was nothing but rain.

His mood lightened and he grinned briefly as he stood just inside the main doors and vigorously shook his short curls -- his long hair had been sacrificed for the Academy -- imagining that he must look like a drowned poodle. Oh well, unlike the Wicked Witch of the West, he was in no danger of melting. He'd relax with a good hot shower, then start dinner. Maybe lasagna; he felt like creating something hearty and satisfying, and Jim would appreciate it.




As Blair slid the large pan into the oven and set the timer, he noticed the brightening light; the storm had passed and the setting sun, now dipping below cloud level, was shining through the balcony doors. He grabbed a beer and walked out onto the balcony to enjoy the freshened, cooled air, a welcome break from the earlier heat of the day. He listened to the faint rumble of thunder in the distance as the storm continued moving out to sea, then watched in wonder as a rainbow began to form, its colors dim at first, then glowing ever more brightly.




Jim Ellison had been following the enticing scent all the way from the parking lot. He closed the door behind him and tossed his keys into the basket, supremely grateful that Blair had started dinner; it would help him forget this long, frustrating day. His senses were workable without Sandburg by his side, but difficult. He was keeping a mental count. Just thirty-seven more days, and guide and sentinel would be official partners. He was looking forward to it, along with everyone else in Major Crimes.

As he hung his coat on the hook, Jim sniffed appreciatively. "Smells good Chief; when will it be ready? Do you need me to run out and pick up some garlic bread?"

When there was no answer, he looked around the loft, and finally noticed his partner on the balcony, unusually still. Wondering what was going on -- if he didn't know better, he'd think Sandburg was zoned -- Jim reached in the fridge for a bottle of beer, then went to join his friend.

"Hey, Chief, what's up?"

Blair started slightly, then relaxed. "Hey, Jim. Glad you're home. Nothing much man, just... contemplating."

Jim frowned thoughtfully and examined the area. Sandburg's skills as an observer, previously impressive, were now even sharper after some of his Academy classes. But the Sentinel didn't see anything suspicious. There were a few people walking in the late afternoon sunlight, a few cars splashing through puddles; nothing that seemed worthy of such deep consideration.

"Contemplating what, Chief? There doesn't seem to be anything too exciting to hold your interest."

"I've just been thinking what a miracle rain is." Blair waved vaguely outward, apparently encompassing everything within sight.

"Miracle? This from the man who hates cold and wet? I don't think I've ever heard you say one kind word about the rain."

Blair grinned a little ruefully. "Well, yeah, I don't like being wet, and I hate splashing through puddles and spending the day with damp feet, and it's a real pain in the ass trying to keep books and papers dry if they won't all fit in my backpack. But, just look at it, man." Another expansive wave outward. "The leaves are glistening and washed clean, the air smells purer; even the buildings look less grimy. It's refreshing, you know? And take a look at that rainbow; isn't it the brightest one you've ever seen?"

It was probably a rhetorical question, but Jim answered anyway, "Close to it, I guess. I saw some pretty spectacular ones in Peru."

"Yeah? This one is so clear and bright that I can actually see all seven colors, and I don't, usually; it's pretty damned amazing. Makes me wonder, though..." he cast a quick sideways glance at his friend, "...not running tests or anything, just curious; how many colors can you see with sentinel vision?"

"I don't know, Chief; I've never bothered to try." He focused for a moment. Sandburg was right; shades upon shades, and the deeper he looked, the more variations there were. And they kept shifting as the angle of the sun changed, fluctuating, brightening, dimming, almost substantial enough to swim in...

"Jim? Hey, Jim!"

Whoops! Enough of that. Jim shook his head slightly as he pulled himself back from the edge of a zone and gave his friend a reassuring smile. "I'm here, Chief. As to the colors..." he looked out again, "I really can't say. It's not separate colors so much as different shades. Or if each shade could be considered separately, there are no names for them. Like, you see indigo and violet, right?"

Blair nodded silently, intent on Jim's words.

"I know some people who can't tell the difference; to them they both fall under the heading of 'purple'. Right now, I see over a dozen gradations between those two, and really can't tell where 'indigo' stops and 'violet' starts." He shrugged. "Basically, I see more than the average bear, but you already knew that."

Blair nodded again. "Yeah, I know; it's just one more piece of sentinel amazement, I guess. Hey, did you know that rainbows don't have a backside?" He grinned at Jim's raised eyebrow. "Honest, man. It's all to do with angles of light striking the suspended water droplets in relation to where the observer is standing. I remember, Naomi and I were driving with some friends when I was a kid, and up ahead of us there was this huge rainbow that bridged the highway. I was so impressed as we got closer and closer; I just knew it would be so cool to drive between the 'legs' of the rainbow, and couldn't wait to see what it looked like from the other side." He bounced with his enthusiasm. "Well, we drove between the legs, all right, and God, Jim, it was stupendous -- these huge pillars of colored light on each side of us, seeming almost solid." He frowned briefly. "Of course, knowing now what I just told you about the light angles and such, I don't see how that could have really been. But that's the way I remember it." He shrugged. "Anyway, when we passed, I turned around to look out the back window, and there was nothing there; plain blue sky and open prairie. After I got over my disappointment, I started pestering Naomi about what had happened to it." He shook his head briefly and took a swallow of beer. "Come to think of it, that may have been the first time I got interested in the scientific aspects of the world; I was pretty young."

"Tell you another one, Chief," Jim offered. "If you're up in a plane, rainbows aren't arches, they're circles, suspended in the atmosphere." It was Blair's turn to raise an eyebrow, and Jim chuckled. "Sentinel's honor. Apparently we see the arch when we're on the ground simply because the horizon gets in the way. I've seen rainbow circles twice, after flying above or around thunderstorms."

"That is so cool! I wonder if it would be possible to charter a plane and go rainbow-chasing, to see that? Well," he snickered in self-deprecation, "maybe when I win the lottery."

Jim punched him gently on the shoulder. "Don't forget, it means you'd have to go up in a small plane. Is your scientific curiosity worth that?"

Blair considered briefly. "You're right. It's probably better -- certainly cheaper -- to just keep my feet right here."

"So, rainbow-gazing has kept you out here for..." Jim cast a quick, measuring look at the bottle in Blair's hand, "two-thirds of a beer?" He couldn't help the worry, never far from his mind, that maybe things weren't going as smoothly at the Academy as Blair claimed.

"Not entirely. When I heard the thunder, it just got me thinking -- where would we be without rain?"

"Dry?"

"Not 'we' as in you and me," Blair snorted. "'We' as in all of mankind. I remember a quote I read once. 'Humankind owes its existence to six inches of topsoil -- and the fact that it rains'. That's just awesome, man. Did you know that the Sahara was once a jungle? The climate changed, it stopped raining and, voila! Uninhabitable desert. And the Anasazi -- they had the most highly-developed culture in what is now the American southwest, and then they just disappeared. No one really knows why, but the speculation is that the climate changed and repeated seasons of drought made it impossible for them to stay. When you actually think about it, it's just mind-blowing."

"Which is why I'll leave such thinking to you, Professor," Jim replied dryly. "I don't want my mind blown; it works much better in one piece."

"You are such a Philistine, man," he grumbled, good-naturedly. "How the hell did you make Cop of the Year if you don't use your brain?" Blair ducked the anticipated head-whap.

"It's because I use my brain for things that are really important. Rainbows and weather patterns won't solve crimes."

"I don't know; haven't you ever heard the theory that knowledge is never wasted? It might come in useful someday."

"Ri-i-ight. The next time a knowledge of rainbows helps me solve a case, I'll be sure to give you due credit in the report."

"And I'll get a blast out of saying 'I told you so'," Blair retorted comfortably.

Jim lifted his head. "The oven timer just went off, Chief. Is dinner ready?" He turned to follow as Blair strode toward the kitchen.

"Nah, that's the ten-minute warning," floated back over his shoulder. "Time to put in the garlic bread. Care to set the table while I toss the salad?"

As Jim pulled out the plates and silverware, listening to Blair's continued chatter, he reflected that the idea of rain and rainbows actually summed up their situation rather nicely. They'd passed through several stretches of personal 'rough weather', and a couple of storms so all-encompassing that it had seemed their world would be destroyed. But the storms had passed, their -- dingy -- connection had been washed clean, and the rainbow promised fair weather ahead.

He sat across from the man who was his best friend, brother, partner, and guide, and once again gave silent thanks for his continued good fortune. There might be more rough weather ahead -- life was never easy -- but from now on, he'd be aware of the gathering clouds. With forewarning, they might be able to avert the storm, or at least raise an umbrella against it. Never again would sentinel and guide -- or Jim and Blair -- face the elements alone.

"Chief ?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

The glowing smile was all the benediction he needed.

"You're welcome, man."



The End



Author's Notes

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Title: You Damned Well Better
Summary: Missing scene for TSbyBS.
Style: Gen
Size: 2,930 words, about 6 pages in MS word.
Warnings: None
Notes: Written March 2004. My thanks to Arianna, for a super-fast beta and some very useful suggestions. Her input helped improve the story considerably.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





You Damned Well Better

by StarWatcher





"Captain Banks! How dare you have one of your bully boys haul me in here like some common criminal? I knew you were just like all the rest!" The redheaded whirlwind angrily shook off the hand of the officer who had 'escorted' her -- forcibly -- from the loft to Cascade PD, and glared at the man in front of her. She disregarded the little internal voice that suggested the man in the wheelchair still looked enervated from his stint in the hospital, and maybe she should moderate her reactions. "I won't stand for this; you have no right!" She expanded her glare to include her son's so-called 'friend', who was resting a hip on the side of the captain's desk, apparently in support of whatever the man intended to say. Naturally; pigs always shared the same mud-puddle. "If you think I won't --"

"Ms. Sandburg!" Simon thundered, slapping a large hand on the desk and effectively silencing her -- for a moment. "If you will listen for just a few minutes, we have a proposal we want you to consider."

"And you know, Naomi, if you'd simply come in as we asked, we wouldn't have had to send someone for you." Jim's tone was remote; he had promised Simon not to lose his temper, but he was still seething at the repercussions from her thoughtless, stupid actions.

"Jim! That's enough!" Simon ordered. "Now, Ms. Sandburg..." He moderated his tone with an effort. "...if you'd please have a seat, we'll discuss our idea."

Reluctantly, warily, she seated herself. Whatever these pigs wanted couldn't be good. "Fine, Captain, say your piece. I want to be there when my son gets home. He said he'd only be at Rainier for an hour or so."

He nodded. "Understood. But your son is what we want to talk about. Are you aware that the university fired Blair?"

"What? No! He didn't say anything..." She gaped at the men across from her.

"Well he wouldn't, would he?" Jim grated. "I had to find it out from Jack Kelso, a professor who's one of his friends. Frankly, you and I have done a pretty good job of trashing his life, Naomi, so we have to find a way to help him fix it."

She bristled, indignant. "How dare you! All I did was ask an old friend for advice."

"And support him instead of your son when he kept pushing harder against Blair's resistance, and support the university when they invited a pack of reporters in instead of mentioning that you knew Blair didn't want any notice taken of the situation, and work behind the scenes to bring the Nobel prize committee into the mess when -- again -- your son had specifically asked you to do nothing. Where was your head, Naomi? You couldn't have caused a bigger mess if you had tried!"

"Me!" she flared. "What about you?! You're the one who wouldn't let him explain, you're the one who told him you didn't trust him anymore! It was you he gave that dreadful press conference for."

Ellison's gaze bored right through her with all the warmth of an arctic iceflow. "Guilty," he growled. "And I'll be kicking myself for the rest of my life. But we can't go back; all that's left is to go forward."

"Exactly!" Naomi's voice dripped with satisfaction. "I'll persuade him to come traveling with me, and we can leave all this unpleasantness behind. I think Nepal; there's a commune there near a temple where people can visit daily for spiritual peace and enlightenment. He'll forget all this nonsense about running around with the -- police." Her lip curled with derision.

"'Nonsense'? Dammit, Naomi, he's the best partner I could ever want, and I told him so! Why do you keep belittling him? You raised a strong, capable, honorable man, and you treat him like he's ten years old. He's been standing on his own two feet for a helluva long time, but you refuse to see it! What the hell good is spiritual peace and enlightenment if you keep him tied to your apron strings and don't let him DO anything with it?"

"And I suppose being your shadow is so wonderful? Spiritual peace and enlightenment is better than being kidnapped or beat up or shot, however much it doesn't fit into your narrow little view of life." She was seething, her face reddening unattractively. "Believe me, the sooner I get him out of here, the better off he'll be!"

Ellison's voice was flat, final. "He can't go. I need -- we need him here."

"Can't? Of course he can! I'll --"

"Ms. Sandburg," Simon interrupted smoothly. He'd been content to let Jim ruffle Naomi's feathers with some hard-hitting truths; if she were off balance, she might be more receptive to their plan. Now it was time to play 'good cop' to Jim's 'bad cop'. "I understand that you want what's best for Blair; we do, too. We just want to offer him an option, give him a choice. But we wanted to discuss it with you privately, first, which is why I instructed Officer Donelly to watch for Blair to leave the building before he brought you here. If we can reach an agreement, it will help prevent any more stress for Blair."

Naomi's angry glare eased somewhat, and she relaxed slightly in her chair, but still maintained an air of suspicious alertness. She nodded for Simon to continue.

"The truth is, as I told you once before, Blair is a very valuable member of our team, and we don't want to lose him. We'd like to make him a paid member of the department, offer him an official position."

"My baby as a gun-toting pig? No way in hell!" she spat. "I'll never allow it!"

Jim stirred restlessly, but Simon silenced him with a hard glare before turning back to Naomi. "Ms. Sandburg, your son is not a 'baby'; he's a grown man, and not answerable to you -- or to us either, for that matter. This will be entirely his decision; we just want to make the offer, in the hopes that he'll accept it."

"And why should he?" she challenged. "All he's gotten around here is heartache and grief." She scowled at Jim. "He can't possibly want to continue working here!"

"He may not," Simon agreed equably. "But he does have friends here, people who admire him and respect him, and who want to support him. The university is closed to him right now, and we don't want to dump him like yesterday's trash. We just want to give him an option; whether or not he uses it is up to him."

Naomi snorted, inelegantly. "The option to do what? Work with that... that... Neanderthal who tramples all over his psyche and doesn't appreciate him? The option to wave a gun around and terrorize the populace? That's not Blair!"

"No, it isn't," Jim cut in emphatically, "and that's exactly why we want him. Do you know your son at all, Naomi, or do you only see him through your sixties-colored glasses? He's not falling under our spell; we're falling under his. By his very presence, he's... I guess in your view, he's humanizing us. He helps us see human beings instead of victims and perps. And the insights he can offer, the cultural connections that we may overlook, have helped us solve a number of cases. In other words, he helps us help the innocents, and put away the bad guys, just by being himself. We don't want another cop, Naomi; they're coming out of the Academy twice a year. We want Blair, just as he is."

"You say that now," she muttered bitterly, "but you'll eventually turn him into a cop-clone; it's inevitable."

Simon sighed deeply. "Ms. Sandburg, please try to put aside your preconceptions. Blair has worked with us for four years without becoming a 'cop-clone'. As Jim said, we don't expect to turn him into a typical Academy graduate; we want him to continue doing exactly as he has been doing -- but now with official sanction and a paycheck."

"Oh, sure," she sneered. "And I suppose the entire police force will welcome him with open arms after his press conference? More likely, your testosterone-laden, jack-booted thugs will slam him into a wall for daring to show his face here! Do you think I'll let my baby be cut down by 'friendly fire' when I could have prevented it? You've got another think coming, Captain!"

Simon rubbed his eyes for a moment, wondering why the painkillers that were so effective for the wound in his back weren't touching his headache. "We're not stupid, Ms. Sandburg, whatever you may think of us. We plan to release a statement to the Press -- and make sure it gets talked about among department personnel -- that Blair was acting for the good of the department, that his fraud admission was a carefully-constructed ruse to help us draw out and capture a cold-blooded assassin. Your son is well-known and well-liked around here; people will find it much easier to believe that he helped set up a sting, than that he's a fraud and a liar."

Naomi shook her stubbornly. "There's absolutely no reason that he should continue working here," she insisted. "He's so much better than that! He can get a job anywhere... unless you plan to withhold your precious 'statement to the Press' if he doesn't toe the line," she accused.

"Naomi," Jim said softly, "we are not holding out a carrot, or pandering to hurt feelings; we're trying to right a grievous wrong. You know that Blair is too honorable to have lied in his dissertation; we want to try and remove that cloud hanging over him. If he chooses to stay, fine. If not..." he swallowed heavily, and hesitated. "If not, we want to make sure he doesn't have this undeserved stigma following him around."

She stared at him through narrowed eyes. "You are!" she hissed. "First you let me think you're this 'sentinel' that my son calls you, then you let him deny it and tell me that you're an ordinary man, but you really are! So now what; you need to keep Blair chained to you so this... this... thing will work? You're just feeding off him like some disgusting parasite."

"No. I'm a good detective; Blair doesn't change that. But..." Jim shifted uneasily, but really, for all intents and purposes, she already knew. "But Blair helps me to be a better detective... and to be a better man. I don't feed off him, Naomi. It's a..." He cast about for an explanation that would resonate with her. "It's a... psychic symbiosis, a working partnership." He shrugged. "I was wrong to dismiss his help, and I'll tell him so. I can only hope that he'll be as forgiving as he's always been."

"'Symbiosis' means both entities get something. Apparently you get help with this sentinel thing; what does he get?"

"Not much," Jim acknowledged soberly, but his gaze was steady as he continued. "He gets my undying support, he gets my vow that I'll never turn on him again, he gets a home for as long as he wants it. He gets a job where he can make a difference for the better -- maybe not so much in the grand scheme of things, but it can be pretty damn big to the victims he helps. And he does help, Naomi; he's good at it. One door has been shut in his face; we're just trying to keep the other one open."

She turned a measuring gaze on Simon. "So, what, you don't expect your Press statement to make a difference to the University? You think he can't go back there?"

"I can't speak for them, Ms. Sandburg. We'll certainly help Blair fight his dismissal, if he wants to. He seems a bit disenchanted, right now, but that may change, and we'll support him if he needs our help to go back."

"Naomi," Jim urged, "we hurt him. There was wrong on all sides, but Blair is the only one paying for it. We're trying to fix that, and all we're asking from you is that you don't throw a hissy-fit. Blair knows how you feel about cops, and he may well decide not to stay. But let it be his decision, not something he does to appease your rantings about 'jack-booted thugs'."

She sagged in her chair. "I just want him to be happy, and I don't think this is the place that will allow him that." She had to hold on to that. Their arguments sounded reasonable, but there had to be a catch somewhere.

"That's perfectly understandable, Ms. Sandburg," Simon soothed. "I have a son, too; all we ever want is the best for our children. But I repeat -- we're not trying to force him. We just want to make an offer, and know that you won't subvert it."

"What; you expect me to smile happily at the idea of my baby staying in this soul-destroying place?"

"That's exactly what we expect," Jim asserted. "You will smile, and approve, and give him your whole-hearted support, so that he won't think he's disappointing you if he stays."

"Or what? You'll toss me in a cell? That'll really help convince him to stay, won't it? I don't give in to blackmail; I know several good lawyers with experience in civil disobedience cases. You can't hold me!"

Jim's patience snapped. "Dammit, Naomi, what is the matter with you? We're trying to help, and you're making it into two dogs fighting over a big, juicy bone! You want blackmail?" He stalked toward her chair, the cane clenched in a white-knuckled grip, and stared down contemptuously. "You better think long and hard over which life Blair would choose if you force it on him. You really shafted him, lady; what makes you think he'll automatically go in your direction instead of ours? If you fight us on this, the only one who'll be hurt is Blair. You damned well better get with the program, or you'll just end up tearing him apart. Is that really what you want? Will that vindicate you somehow, that your son is hurt even more deeply, but thank God he didn't become a pig?" His voice dripped with venom. "You're a real piece of work, lady -- allowing him to make his own 'choices' only if they meet with your approval. Is that the kind of 'personal freedom' you've been advocating all these years? What a load of crap!"

"Jim," Simon said softly, "stand down." He could hardly refute his detective's words -- he felt the same way -- but they couldn't crowd the woman too closely if they still hoped for her acceptance.

Jim straightened, shook his head briefly, and turned to the window, leaning heavily on the cane as the adrenalin subsided. He'd been too close to losing control; he hoped he hadn't blown it entirely.

"Excuse us, Ms. Sandburg," Simon continued, just as softly. "As you can see, we feel rather passionately about this. It should be obvious to you that this isn't some half-hearted attempt to assuage Jim's feelings of guilt; it is our fondest wish to have your son become a permanent member of our department, if he'll accept the position. So for the last time -- will you go along with this?" Mentally, he crossed his fingers. It wasn't the last time; he'd argue for another hour, if necessary, but had no idea how to persuade her if she wasn't already convinced.

Naomi stared thoughtfully at Jim's back, noting the tension in his shoulders, then turned a measuring gaze on Simon, finding only open sincerity in his face. She thought back; although she had only met them a few times, they seemed to be honorable men. And maybe they were right; Blair had never been a wimp who allowed himself to be pushed around. If he was still here after four years, he must have found something worthwhile, something that spoke to him. His life's dream? Her gaze returned to Jim, staring out at -- what? What could he see and hear that no one else could conceive of? No one except for her son. Did she really have the right to come between them, even if she was sure it was for Blair's own good? Mightn't he come to hate her if her actions shut him away from this? She couldn't bear that, really, she couldn't. With a deep sigh, she capitulated.

"You make a good case, Captain. I don't like it -- I certainly hope that Blair refuses your offer -- but I won't stand in his way. I swear," she grimaced slightly, "he'll never know that I disapprove. I did several years of theatre in high school; I'm a very good actress when I need to be." She stood, impatient to flee this confrontation. "And now, as I said, I want to be there when Blair gets home. Let me know when you plan to make your 'offer'; I'll be here, with the biggest damn smile you've ever seen," she finished bitterly.

She swept out of the office, still inwardly seething, but with dignity outwardly intact.

Simon leaned back in his chair, feeling utterly weary. "Thank God," he murmured. "We did it."

Jim turned haunted eyes upon his captain. "Not quite. We still have to convince Sandburg."



The End



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Title: Oh, Good Grief!
Summary: Some people have wa-a-ay too much time on their hands.
Style: Gen
Size: 515 words, about 1 page in MS Word.
Warnings: None
Notes: Written July, 2004. Snippet in response to an Internet picture.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Oh, Good Grief!

by StarWatcher





Jim glanced up from the evening newspaper as he heard Blair's snort of amusement; his partner was ensconced at the kitchen table with his laptop in front of him. The snort had given way to soft chuckles.

"What's up, Chief?"

"I swear Jim, some people have wa-a-ay too much time on their hands. You know that old saying, 'Idle hands are the devil's playground'? Here's one cat that probably thinks so."

Picture is here.

His curiosity piqued, Jim ambled to the table and peered at the laptop screen over Blair's shoulder. He saw a dour-looking Persian cat, glowering out at the world from under a football helmet that had been carved from the rind of a lime; the animal certainly looked ridiculous. Jim grinned in tandem with Blair's reaction. "Well, you have to admit, it's... creative," he pointed out. "And at least it'll come off easily. It could be worse."

"Oh yeah? I know little girls like to dress up their pets, but shouldn't a grownup be above that sort of thing?"

"Nah; adults are worse than the kids. I remember when I was a kid, I was walking down an alley with some friends. We passed a back yard -- well-kept, green lawn, trees, flowers -- and barking at us through the chain-link fence were two little white poodles. Well, they had been white, originally. One was dyed pastel pink, and one was dyed pastel blue -- with matching bows in their top-knots, of course. We treated it like a huge joke, even me, but I felt kind of sorry for them; I always imagined the other dogs laughing at them."

"Oh, gross!" Blair muttered. "Some people have no couth."

"Couth, Chief? Is that an actual word?"

"If it's not, I just invented it. People are adding new words to the English language all the time; I might as well contribute my share."

"Well, I have a few words that might take your mind off the pets of people who lack 'couth'," Jim suggested.

Blair leaned back and glanced up at his friend. "Oh, yeah? What words are those, big guy?"

"Dinner. My treat. Lasagna at Marelli's."

"Hmmm..." A judicious frown creased Blair's forehead, then he nodded decisively. "Yep; I think those words just might do it." He grinned as he shut down the laptop and stood. "Gotta say, Jim, there are times when I really like your linear approach to problem-solving. I'm with you all the way."

"Thought you might be. A full belly makes the whole world brighter. I'll bet even that cat forgave his owner after a plate of tuna."

"Yeah, but man, ya' gotta wonder about the cultural mores or skewed thought patterns, or whatever, that leads to this sort of thing." Blair shrugged into his jacket and preceded Jim out the door. "You know, some other cultures occasionally dress their animals, but it has religious or ceremonial significance. In fact..."

Jim shook his head in fond amusement as he locked the door and followed Blair to the elevator. He'd probably learn more than he ever thought possible about people's decoration of animals in different cultures, but it would be informative, entertaining, and probably good for some tales in the break-room when Blair wasn't around.

Nope; dinner with Sandburg would never be boring.



The End



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Title: The Honor of Friendship
Summary: Jim receives a letter that disturbs him.
Style: Gen
Size: 1,805 words, about 4 pages in MS Word.
Warnings: None
Notes: Challenge story, written September 2004. Nominee for Burton Awards 2005 in the "Favorite Smarm Story" category.
Feedback: Not necessary, but every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





The Honor of Friendship

by StarWatcher





Blair started talking before he reached the door, knowing his sentinel would hear him. "Hey, Jim, it's your night to cook and I'm starved. Hope you have something filling planned." Shutting the door behind him, he set his backpack under the coathooks and tossed his keys in the basket. "Or were you planning to order out? Let's make it soon, because like I said..." He drifted into silence, finally noticing the dimness and silence of the loft; no lights were on, and no dinner preparations underway. Cautiously, he approached the unmoving figure on the couch.

"Jim? What're you doin' sittin' here in the dark, man? What's wrong?" The lack of response increased his concern; he sat on the coffee table and laid a gentle, but firm, hand on his friend's knee. "Come on back, Jim. Whatever it is, we'll handle it. Listen to my voice and --"

"I'm not zoned, Sandburg," Ellison broke in, a thread of irritation lacing his voice. "I'm just... thinking. And... remembering."

"Oh. Well, okay. Um... you want me to start making dinner while you think?"

A disinterested, one-shoulder shrug did nothing to alleviate Blair's concerns. He focused on the sheet of paper clenched in Jim's fist; the salutation, 'Dear Uncle Jim' was clearly visible. Uncle Jim? Casting about for more clues, he discovered that he was sitting on an envelope; the name 'Nakamura' was in the top left corner, with an address in Seattle. Tentatively this time, feeling a little awkward, he laid a hand on Jim's knee and patted gently.

"Um, is it bad news? Is there anything I can do to help?" When a half-hearted headshake was the only response, his voice sharpened with the beginnings of irritation. "C'mon, Jim, you can't just sit here like a lump. Whatever it is, it's thrown you for a loop, but it won't get any better if you don't face it. Talk to me man, and let me help."

"The daughter of one of my men is getting married." The tone was lifeless, more suited to announcing death than marriage.

"One of your men? You mean your team from Peru?" He waited for a short, confirming nod. "But that's... good news, isn't it? Why has it got your shorts in a twist?"

Finally, the stunned expression in Ellison's eyes was dissipating. The look he gave Blair was almost challenging as he explained, "She wants me to give her away."

Blair blinked in confusion. "And that's a bad thing? I suppose, if she doesn't have any male relatives, and you were her father's commanding officer, even if you weren't friends, she might think of you --"

"We were friends," Jim cut in. "Good friends. Sammy Nakamura came into my unit about four years before that last mission." The tension in his body eased slightly; he leaned back into the cushions as he continued. "Friendliest guy you'd ever want to meet; he'd give even you a run for your money. The first major holiday after he joined the team -- Fourth of July -- when he found out I wasn't going to spend it with family, he invited me to join his, and wouldn't take no for an answer. We had a picnic in the park -- fried chicken, homemade potato salad, the whole schmear. He had a wife who adored him, and three of the prettiest little girls you've ever seen, and about two dozen various relatives who were all as friendly as he was, and made me feel welcome. It was a good day; probably the best July Fourth I ever spent." He lapsed into silence.

Blair waited a few moments, but his curiosity overcame his patience. "And...?" he prodded gently.

Jim sighed deeply. "And after that, the family took me under their wing and invited me to quite a few Saturday barbecues and various holiday celebrations. The kids saw me so much that they took to calling me 'Uncle Jim'. And then I took their father on that last mission, and eighteen months later I had to explain to them that the light of their lives was gone forever."

Jim sprang from the couch and stalked across the room to stare out the balcony doors. "God, Sandburg! Maria -- his wife -- never said anything, but I knew what she was thinking... just what Veronica thought. Why should I come back alive when he died? I stood with them at the funeral -- Sammy deserved that respect -- and they invited me to come back to visit, but I knew how much they had to hate me. I just couldn't face that. And Veronica proved I was right."

"And you haven't seen them since?" Blair ventured.

"No. Not when the mere sight of me has to remind them of what they lost. And now Lilianna wants me at her wedding? I can't do that to them!" His voice was ragged with suppressed grief.

"Jim." Blair rose and followed his friend to the window, standing close in silent support. "If they hated you, they wouldn't ask. No rational person could blame you for what happened; apparently Maria was wise enough to recognize that, and strong enough to teach it to her kids. You said there are lots of relatives. That means you're not a 'last resort'. Lilianna specifically wants you. Probably as a link to her father, since you served with him, but also because she remembers you with affection -- 'Uncle Jim'. And I imagine she got her mother's permission before she wrote, which means Maria's okay with it, too. They're offering you an honor, man, not a reason to... to... immolate yourself."

Ellison's tension eased further as he considered Blair's words. "You're probably right," he conceded. "But... it's been so many years. How can they --"

"Years don't count if the friendship is real. Obviously they can, and that's the only thing that matters. Now what you have to decide is, will you do it, or not? But think about this, Jim." Blair's voice firmed, warningly. "They're willing to overlook the years of non-communication from you; they probably understood that you had to grieve in your own way. But if you turn this down -- don't at least attend the wedding -- that'll be an unforgivable slap in the face to the whole family. Do you really want to do that to the memory of the man who was your friend?"

He paused. "Right. I guess that's all I have to say on the subject. I'll leave you to think about it while I go out and pick up some dinner. Re-read the letter, Jim, and look at it from their point of view instead of yours." He grabbed his jacket and keys, and flipped on the light as he walked out the door; not even a sentinel would be able to read in the room that had become increasingly dark.




Jim wiped his mouth and tossed the napkin on the table. "Thanks, Sandburg, I needed that. Didn't realize how hungry I was." He regarded his friend soberly. "I also needed that little pep talk of yours. Thanks for that, too."

"So? You gonna do it?"

"Yes, I think so. It'll be good to see Maria and the kids again -- see how much they've grown, and like you said, lay some ghosts to rest." He hesitated. "Still, I could use a little moral support. The invitation is for me and a guest; I suppose they expect a wife, but... July twenty-seventh; you'll be on summer break. If you want to, that is," he finished uncertainly.

Blair beamed. "I'd be honored, big guy. I love weddings -- there's no stronger affirmation of man's hopes for the future. Hey, what about presents? Do you remember anything about her likes or dislikes? Do you want to pool our money and get one really nice one, instead of two ordinary ones? I know a place..."




Jim parked the truck and eyed the once well-known house uncertainly; maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. But as he approached the gate, he heard excited squeals and the sound of running feet. "Uncle Jim! Uncle Jim!" He submitted to a group hug, listening with delight to the cadence of happy young voices.

The girls finally let him loose and stepped back, their words tumbling over each other as they welcomed him. His eyes sought Lilianna. She had grown into a stunning young woman with a bright, open countenance and -- he searched closely -- no shadows in her eyes when she looked at him. The knot in his chest loosened. Apparently Blair was right; she really didn't blame him for her father's fate.

He looked up as Maria stepped from the front door and hurried toward him. The years had been kind to his friend's wife; her face was serene and unlined, and only a sprinkling of gray dusted her hair.

"Captain Jim!" she called. "It is so good to see you again." She reached him and enfolded him in a careful hug, almost as if she would comfort a child. "Thank you for coming; your presence will honor our family." The smile she gave him showed none of the blame that he had felt burdened with for so many years.

His throat was thick as he answered, "Maria, I'm happy to be here; it's an honor to be asked. I'm just so sorry --"

"No," she said gently. "You have nothing to be sorry for. And we will not allow old hurts to shadow this time of joy. My eldest daughter is getting married. Her father will be watching from Heaven, and you shall stand at her side in his place. Now, come inside, sit; we have so much to talk about...




"I tell ya', Jim, your friends really know how to throw a celebration. And wasn't Lilianna a beautiful bride? You looked really good, too, in your dress blues. I thought it might be too stark for a wedding, but the contrast really highlighted everyone else's finery. And when Lilianna and Damien pledged their vows -- I swear, the love was palpable, man, damn near visible. It certainly gives us hope for the human condition, doesn't it? I mean..."

Ellison let his friend's words wash over him, a comforting background of sound as he drove homeward. It had been good, but even better was a new sense of peace he had gained. Maria's and the girls' acceptance had provided a healing balm that comforted his soul.

"Sandburg..." he started, but didn't know how to continue.

"Yeah?"

"Just... thank you." Would Blair know what he meant?

"No problem. That's what friends are for."

Blair did know. Thank God for good friends; his road was lighter because of them.

"I know. But thanks anyway."



The End



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Title: Watching Him Sleep
Summary: Late-night thoughts after a difficult case.
Style: Gen
Size: 400 words, about 2/3 page in MS Word
Warnings: None
Notes: Written in October, 2004, for LJ challenge.
Feedback: Not necessary, but I every comment is treasured.
Email: If you prefer not to post a note that everybody can see, you can reach me at starwatcher -at- dreamwidth.org





Watching Him Sleep

by StarWatcher





As I watch him sleep, I can't help thinking about our last case. He was incredible, using his senses like I always knew he could. But I didn't get to see it; I had to hear about it second-hand. I'm told he was in the groove, hitting on all eight cylinders; he found the tiniest bits of evidence with ease, and wove the pieces into the pattern that led the gang to the perp. Our friends are amazed and baffled, but willing to overlook the mystery, because when they found the perp, they rescued -- me.

He didn't sleep for three days. Now, he needs me in his senses and... I need him. When I startle awake from the memories, it's a comfort to see him so close. That's how tired he is -- my waking doesn't wake him, though I know that if I whispered his name, he'd be with me in an instant. So I watch him in the sleeping bag next to my bed, and listen to his quiet little snores, and I hold on to the certainty that kept me balanced for those terrible days. He found me. He'll always find me.

I love you, Jim.




As I watch him sleep, I can't help thinking about our last case. I was afraid I'd lose him forever. Thank God the senses worked like he always said they could -- feeding me all the information I needed, no zones or spikes however hard I pushed. The rest of Major Crimes helped, providing backup for the senses as well as more mundane detective work. There weren't too few clues, but too many; the man was masterful at planting red herrings. But we did it; unraveled the threads and followed them to the end. To Blair.

I don't want to let him farther away than arm's length; I can barely let him take a piss by himself. So here I am. The sleeping bag is comfortable enough, and I only have to open my eyes to see his face, battered but whole. Even before I look, I can hear him, scent him; his presence is the safety net for my very being. As I am his. I'll never forget the look of trust in his eyes, underlying the relief that we had arrived. He knew I'd find him.

I'll always find him. The alternative is unthinkable.

I love you, Blair.



The End



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